Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 15:55:22 EST
From: JuilianJ@aol.com
Subject: Graduation day part 2

I wasn't up in the place more than twenty minutes when i noticed this
brotha eyeballing me from across the room.  And beleieve when i say that
that shit was nerve racking.  I tried to catch glimpses of him on the sly
but everytime he choose that exact moment to size me up.  Talk about
embarrassing encounters.  " Yo shorty, you looking for me ? "  i turned to
the sound of the voice and was shocked to see who i saw.  "Suprised ? "  "
Hell yeah ?  you're... "  " Yeah, kinda shocked to see you up in here too.
Someone i know said they saw you in here a while ago but i said 'naw, not
Adrian.' Guess i was wrong. "  " Yeah. "

So by now y'all are wondering who this was and i'm just gonna be a bitch
and keep y'all in suspense just a little longer.

" Damn, this is a suprise, so you chilling by yo self or ya cruisin ? "
"i'm just chilling. "  and what a lie that was.  " So ma little bro know
you up in here. "  SUPRISE !  " No and i don't think it would be a good
idea to tell him, what about you ? "  " Hell naw, D couldn't handle shit
like this.  You know how he hafta represent his peeps and shit.  Anyway,
i'm kinda glad we ran into each other.  You hardly come up this way.  Next
time you do you should bring my brother with you. "  now you have to
understand the chemistry or lack of that exists between Dameon and his
brother.  Haven't been on speaking terms for something like three years.
And from what i heard over a girl too - ladies, ladies.  " i always try to
tell him it's stupid to keep this feud going but no, he gotta have shit his
own way. "  " Well that's D for ya.  Anyway the real reason i came over
here was cause i saw you eyeing my friend over there, you want an intro. "
if i coulda blusehed i would of.  " uh, yeah i guess. "  the panic stricken
look on my face must have made him soften a bit, " Don't get all embarrased
Dre, remember we in the same club aigh't. "  he sure was right.
One. Two. Three steps and i was in front of him.  Oh God was it possible
for him to look anymore flawless.  I can't even find a comparison to
compare him to.  " i found somebody for ya Cameron.  Adrian, meet Cameron,
Cam meet Dre. "  he extended his hand and so did i, suprisingly.  " Nice
meeting ya shorty. " and i swear i about melted.  " Yeah, you too. " " Well
let me go so y'all can get aquainted.  And Dre, " i turned remebering that
he was still there, " Remember what i said, tell D to gimme a call ok. " "
Yeah man, i'll do my best. "  now that he was gone i could devote my full
attention to you know who.

" So where you from ? "  i regretted asking it as soon as the words
literally flew out of my mouth.  " I know you didn't step to me to talk.
You wanna fuck or what ? "  the light in my head went on and my dick went
SPRUNG !  the boy was quick as a mutha.  " Yeah. "  i barley got the words
out.  He made a springing motion with his head and got up.  I followed
behind him until we reached a door at the rear of the club.  He turned to
me before opening it, " You sure you ready fo what i got to offer ?  cause
a nigga ain't down fo no play play shit. "  " Whatever you got i can
handle. "  he winked then made a grab for my crotch, " I hope you know what
you done get yourself into. "  I hoped so too.

	How do i say this, the sex was off da hook !  i got to say Cameron
had me dick wiped by the time he was done with me.  I swear that no other
brotha had gotten me to cum like that - EVER.  And when we were done, he
asked me to come back to his place for a repeat performance.  Now i know i
went there looking for a harmless fuck but i left the joint needing a man
and not just any man.  Only one - Cameron.  I wasn't gonna go as far and
say that i was in love but i did feel my heart sing that familiar tune of
pit patter pit patter pit patter.  I should mention that the sex at his
place was no less invogorating as it was at the club, in fact, i might go
as far as to say the sex was even better than at the club.  But whatever
you want to think, know this, i was gonna take this oppurtunity and run as
far as i could with it.

SIX MONTHS LATER :

	"Something about that nigga ain't right, i don't like his ass. "
"You don't even know him D. "  " Fuck that, i don't need to know him to know
that i don't like him ! "  i didn't know where all this attitude was coming
from but one thing i was sure about was that i wasn't liking it - At All !
since that night at the club, the night i met Cameron, we've been stuck
together like whtie on rice and yeah this shit was becoming serious.  Sure
he never told we in so many words that he loved me but that wasn't
necessary.  I was feeling him and i knew that he was feeling me - or so i
had hoped it was.  But the point was that i was in love and the one person
that i really wanted to share the news with was just being an asshole.  "
Well back it up.  Tell me what you find so unnerving about him. "  this on
the spot interrogation got him all flustered and he began to turn a slight
shade of red.  "i know what i don't like about him so you don't need to be
worrying about that.  That faggot ain't nothing but trouble. "  now being
black is a hardship in and of itself but being black and homosexual is a
double whammy and the term faggot just wasn't down in my termonology.  "
Why you got to get all nasty now Dameon, you don't even know the brotha. "
" Well fuck him and fuck you too.  You want to be down with a card carrying
faggot go ahead, i could give a fuck but know this Dre, " he paused for a
second and his voice rose to a baritone level, " If you down with him, you
ain't down with me. "  and there it was, a declaration.  My best friend of
sixteen years just handed me my walking papers.  I wasn't about to risk a
prosperous relationship on a friendship that was just deteriorating right
before my eyes and in that breath i made a decision i hoped i wouldn't
regret.  " Well i guess this card carrying faggot is not down with you. "
now the look of shock on his face was just undescribeable.  First shock,
then anger then something like rage and then finally disgust.  " I can't
believe this shit, how you gonna make the faggot turn you that way ? "  he
didn't turn me that way D, i was always like this. "  But the denial still
lingered.  " Naw, i woulda known if you was into the ass, i woulda known.
You was ma boy and i woulda know if you was a faggot. "  " Well i was and i
am and i am in love with Cameron. "  " Say what ?  you and that nigga
are... "  he couldn't even get the words out.  " Yes. "  now i've known D
for sixteen years and in all the years i've known him, besides the way we
met, he has never raised a hand to me - until now.  I felt it first then
saw it last and it hurt like a bitch and unlike the first time, it had me
in tears.  " fucking faggot, if i see your ass round here again i swear i'm
gonna give you another ass whopping. " and like that he was gone leaving me
to myself.

I never knew i could hate another person as much as i hated D right now.
Worst than the obvious physical pain was the emotional one.  Watching a
lifetime of friendship just disappear in an instant hurt me more than i
thought possible.  What i needed now was my man.  I walked up to my
appartment and was gladly suprised to see Cameron's ride in front of it.
Now call me premature but i had to give him a key to my place, if not to
let him know how much i trusted him, to let him i know i was down for him
now and always.  I inserted the key on the lock and opened the door.  Heavy
music blasted from my bedroom and i knew there i would find him.  I walked
through the kitchen and into the living room.  Uh huh, he was here alright.
Clothes scattered about.  And as i made it in the direction of the bedroom
i wasn't prepared for what i heard or saw for that matter, " Yo girl, flex
you back, ma dick ain't getting the attention it needs. "  " Come on Cam,
i'm tired, hurry up and cum. "  " Come on shorty, just a little while mo,
i'm gonna make ya feel real good. "  and there he was fucking some chick
doggy style on my bed in my muthafucking house.  Now another man i couda
understand but bringing some project chick into my home and fucking her on
my bed was just, that shit was just fucked up.  " What the fuck ! Cam who
is that, get off of me nigga, someone's watching, what the hell is this ?
you gonna pull a train on me and shit. "  he turned around and his face
drained of all its' color.  Guess he wasn't expecting you know who.  "
Adrian ! "  yeah that's my name but it's gonna be whoop ass if you don't
start talking soon.  I felt my heart break and i felt the tears boiling
deep inside of me but i wasn't gonna cry, not in front of this bitch.  " go
put on some clothes shorty and get the fuck out. "  she turned to look at
him, her pussy still attached to his dick like a fly trap.  " What ? "  "
Bitch get the fuck out ! "  and with that he pulled out and she was up and
running for the door.  He sat up and grabbed a towel that hung from the
side of the bed and put it across his lap.  " Dre... "  " get out
Cameron. "  " Come on man, she ain't nuthin but pussy. "  "and apparently
so was i. "  " Yo shorty, you know that ain't even true. "  how i managed
to stay calm i'll never know.  " why did you have to disrespect my home
like this man.  You fucking some bitch on my bed in my house ! "  he rubbed
his jaw with his hand and looked up at me, " It was a dumb ass thing to do
shorty but it don't mean nuthin, she ain't nuthin to me, you know that. "
" Just get out Cam, i'm tired ok and i just want you to leave. "  " Come on
Dre... "  " Cam i'm trying to keep it together but if you don't get the
fuck out right now, i'm gonna go off in here and you won't like that. "
they say that confronting situations bring out the truth in a person and
for the second time today, that was confirmed, " fughet you nigga.  I don't
need yo ass any ol way.  Standing there crying like a bitch like you ain't
got no shame. "  with that he got off my bed and walked out of my bedroom
and five minutes later, out of my house.

I was at a low point in my life.  Nothing i did had any meaning anymore.
All that i had held true was gone and it was like i didn't care.  After the
'incident' with Cam, i moved out of my buliding and across town to another
neighbourhood.  Not because of this shit mind you but because i wanted a
fresh start.  I opened up shop and made nice with the neighbours when it
was absolutely necessary.  I also decided i needed to make a change with
me.  I ws tired of being pushed around by mean and women because i couldn't
or wouldn't fight back.  I made a conscious decision to pump up and work
out and within months, my body was reaping the rewards.  I was able to run
five miles without breaking much of a sweat and i could do 500 situps,
pushups and chinups without hassle.  All these changes brought with them a
new breed of confidence in me and a new breed of competition around me.
Men, gay, straight, bi and tri alike were sizing me up wherever i went and
those that did step to me wanted to know if i could take them.  All this
macho bullshit was not my thing and i made it my point of duty to tell them
i just wasn't interested.  Strangely enough while i unintentionally thought
about Dameon, i made good with his brother and he became like a surrogate
brother to me helping me get over this phase.  " Yo Dre, if i knew Cameron
was gonna do you like that i wouldn't even have made the intro.  When i see
that bitch i'm gonna... "  " No need Chris, it's not necessary.  I can take
care of myself. "  " I know man but i feel so responsible fo putting you in
this situation. "  " Don't, i was gonna step to him anyway whether or not
you were there so you didn't contribute to anything that happened. "  " if
you say so. "  i didn't even mention what happened between me and D cause i
knew where that would lead.  Pit brother against brother and i knew i
woulda been bitten.  On a lighter note though i got a promotion where i
worked and i was on my way up into a totally new tax bracket.  Something
for me to smile about don't ya think.

FLIPPING THE SCRIPT : AS TOLD BY DAMEON(continuation of Graduation Day)

	"ma i said i don't wanna talk bout it, what you can't understand in
that ? "  " You betta watch that mouth with me young man, i'm your mother
and you will respect me. "  so maybe i was outta line but she knew that
this was a sore topic with me.  " Ok i'm sorry ma but why you keep bringing
this up ? "  " Because he's family and you just don't dump family Dameon
Chalice Hill. "  uh oh, calling out my whole name couldn't be good news.  "
Ma it's between me and him aigh't. "  " No, it's between you and him and
all of us.  It's a famliy matter and y'all need to resolve this NOW ! "  no
way was i gonna admit that thsi was really my fault and he ain't had much
to do with it.  " well tell him that, he shouldn't been messing with what's
mine in the first place. "  and here it comes, " over a girl Lawd Jesus, my
only two kids fighting ova girl that ain't got her heart in the right
place.  You dump your brother but you still with that, that, girl. "  " Ma
she my wife and she got ma kid. "  " So what ? "  " So y'all need to accept
that and step off ma back. "  " Ok, be like that.  That tramp done make you
turn against your family and you're own mother, what's next or should i say
who's next ?  i bet anything she have something to do with you and Adrian
not speaking. "  now she almost on the money, almost.  " she ain't had
nothing to do with that aigh't ma.  I gotta go and i'll call you lata. "  i
hung up before she found something else to say.  I'll give props where it's
deserved, me and terry was so ova.  I fucked around and she fucked around.
Truth be known, she was living with her moms and i was back by myself.  Our
son was on and off, back and forth between us but mostly he was with me.
If it wasn't fo him, me and terry woulda split a long time ago.  As fo she
influencing me and Adrian splitting, she had only a minimul influence to
that.  It wasn't her fault that he was the way he was.  And even though i
felt guilty bout clocking him, he deserved that shit, or so i was trying to
convince myself.  What this whole mess got me to thinking was why i
couldn't stop feeling the way i was feeling like this shit was my fault.  I
ddin't turn him into a faggot.  I kept saying that shit and everytime i
did, i got a prick in my chest.  Sixteen years a friendship just gone like
that and yeah i was fucking mad.  That was ma boy, ma road dog and he had
to go fuck with that fo the sake of dick.  How he could find another nigga
attractive was beyond me.