X-Digest-Subject: GayNet Digest Volume 4 Issue 187 Date: Sun, 3 Nov 1991 15:04:38 -0500 Subject: erotica I have been quietly reading this list for some time now. It has been very informative, yet a little dry. So I am finally posting a piece of a story I've written. If the general feeling is this sort of post is inapropriate for this list, I apologize, and will not post anymore of the same. If any individual is offended, I apologize to them personally. It was not my intention to offend. My gay life is almost exclusively a fantasy life. One of my hobbies is making up elaborate stories, not necessarily sexual. I enjoy sharing these with friends, but some scenes I am to shy to share, so I am posting one anonymously on this list. I'm no great writer, but I appreciate constructive criticisms. I really love to discuss my stories and would love to hear your comments, but I'm not sure if that is possible since I am posting anonymously. As I said earlier, this is a scene from a larger story. Since it's a flashback, it's fairly independent from the rest of the story, but you should know a little background. The stroy takes place in the way off distant future in a post-nuclear holocaust America. (I never said it wasn't bizarre) Carson Bracall is a descendant of the families that came up out of the 'think tanks' (sunk safely below ground) about a hundered years after The War. These families quickly became a small ruling class through their use of technology and general health, from living in a protected environment. Instead of sharing their knowledge, it's been closely guarded. They have an elite school where they send their children to learn 'science', which is not taught in general schools. When Carson was sent away to science school, he took his personal slave, Jonathon with him. Jonathon and he are close in age and have been raised as practically brothers, with allowances for their different status. (In all liklihood, they are indeed half brothers) Jonathon is being trained to take over as overseer when Carson's father dies and Carson becomes 'lord of the manor'. Despite their class differences, they are good friends. At school, Carson walks in on Jonathon and a male lover. Jonathon has been hot for Carson for ages. This begins a long flirtation and limited experimentation. This is called to a halt when the two of them must return to the Bracall Estate. Carson says they both have too much to lose. This scene takes place soon after they return to the estate. I don't reccomend deconstructing my stories too much. They make me come off as an unhealthy person. (I certainly don't know why certain things arouse me.) But this is interesting in the context of the ongoing discussion on this list about 'position of privilidge'. Some people have said that white males are not necessarily sexist or racist. I would agree with that with the qualification that a lot of discrimination dynamics are invisible from a position of privledge. For example, as a member of the upper class, class is invisible to me. I am often classist without being aware of it and constantly in need of re-education by my more aware friends. Also, before anyone gets mad at me, saying that Jonathan is a typical gay portrayal discrediting bisexuality I want to say: Jonathn is not bi, he is gay. Carson on the other hand, . . . well I just don't know. (any opinions?) well enough introduction, (can you tell I'm nervous?) enjoy! -Morgan (not my real name, but I like it) Jonathon paused outside his Master's door. He tried to quell his rising excitement. It was probably nothing, some small errand Carson had remembered upon climbing into bed. It was foolish to get so excited over the faintest possibility. With these thoughts in his head and his heart still pounding, he knocked on the door. Instead of a reply, Carson opened the door himself. He was dressed in a maroon velvet bathrobe. He stepped into the doorway and looked quickly up and down the corridor, before guesturing for Jonathon to enter the room behind him. A small smile rose on Jonathon's cheeks despite his efforts to keep his excitement at bay. He heard the door close behind him, then Carson put an arm around his shoulders squeezing him once. "Don't just stand there, Jon. Into the bedroom with you!" And his Master began walking, pulling Jonathon along, who would rather have savored the moment, to drop his head against Carson's soft robe and breathe his scent, to fell his strong body again under his arms. But first he was being hustled into the bedroom. To his surprise, Michelle was in the bedroom. She was, in fact, on the bed. when Jonathon looked to his master, he found him grinning broadly. With another squeeze, Carson let go of Jonathon, seating himself in an armchair. Although the armchair was only a few feet away from the bed, it lay in the shadow of the bright light spotlighting the bed. Jonathon could no longer see his master's face. "She's all yours" His disembodied voice said. "Sir?" "I'm giving you a chance." What? Jonathon looked back over at Michelle. She was lounging patiently against the many pillows on Carson's large bed. Her sheer nightgown was both high and low cut, revealing her long legs and the first curves of cleavage. His intitial response to her pose, and appearance had been that of an overseer. She was succesfully fulfilling her job. She would be pleasing to the master. Jonathon suddenly relaised she was meant to be arousing to him, Jonathon. Of course, Carson was giving him a chance to have sex with a woman. The chance Jonathon had told Carson he never had. "Master Carson, I can't. She's your concubine, meant for your pleasure only." "It pleases me to watch her have sex with you." Jonathon inhaled sharply trying to keep his features calm, knowing they did show in the light. His heart still beat loudly, from fear now. He didn't want to sleep with this girl. What was Carson thinking? And more importantly, how could he talk him out of it? "I can't Master Carson, if anyone found out . . ." "No one will find out, Jon. Why do you think I called you here so late?" Jonathon had to laugh at his earlier speculations. "You have to if I order it." "You're ordering me to . . ." Jon couldn't finish. He could hear his master's pleased smirk. "Pretty good, hunh?" When Jonathon still stood there frozen and removed, Carson frowned, puzzled. He said quietly, "You said you wanted me to ask this of you." Jonathon turned his head away at that, and clenched his jaw to keep the bitter words "with you!" in his throat , where they now burned. Michelle saw the growing tension. She guestured for Jonathon to come to her. "Come and sit down, Jonathon. The master waits." she said. Jonathon took a deep breath, and sat down beside her on the edge of the bed. He had no choice but to do it. But to do what? He had to laugh at himself he didn't know what he was doing. He stared at the floor. His feet rested flat on the floor, and his arms against his knees leaving him leaning forward, staring at the floor. Michelle moved so she was kneeling behind him on the bed. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and made a low laughing sound. He stiffened at her touch. "Relax, Jonathon." She began kneading his shoulders. It did feel good to be massaged, though her hands wern't as large or hard as he would have liked. Jonathon looked in Carson's direction. With the light shining in his eyes, it was impossible to see past the lamp to the chair where his master sat. But he continued to look, thinking the master might see his unwilingness and release him from this task. He stiffened again when he felt her lips on the back of his neck, light little touches, like a feather being drawn down your spine, that makes you shudder. He felt her lips and tongue reaching at his ear, and then he heard what must have been a faint whisper roaring in his ear. "Don't be stupid!" Of course, Jonathon was somewhat embarrased to realise how difficult he was being. The master had requested something of him. It was a waste of his time to dwell on how repulsive the task was. But he wasn't a concubine, his job was to remain pasionless and aloof. He wasn't comfortable being seen like this. Certainly, if Carson had asked him to lay on this bed with him, Jon would be only to glad to let his passion show, to throw himself into the task of arousing passion in turn, but that wouldn't have been anything like this. If Carson wanted to watch, he should have told him. He would have brought one of his friends, and in a few moments they both would have been lost in the passion and forgotten Carson's prescence. Or perhaps not, perhaps his presence would have been only more exciting. But why was he here in bed with this woman? She rose from the bed, then sank to his feet. She pulled off both of his shoes and socks, then stood again. "Stand up." she said. "What?" "Are you going to make love to me with your clothes on?" Jonathon stood and began to unbutton his shirt, but Michelle pushed his hands aside. She unbuttoned the rest letting it hang open a few moments while she ran her damned light hands over his chest. It was like tickling. Then she eased the sleves over his cuffs, and he stood bare chested. The air on his chest and back made him suddenly aware that he stood half naked not just in front of this wench, but in front of Carson, and his crotch grew tight. Michellle noticed, and bruched her hands against the bulge undoing his belt, chuckling again. He breathed in. That still felt good, if only she wouldn't be so damned light about it, if only she would really stroke him hard so . . .Jonathon was surprised at his own thoughts, and is own arousal. She unlaced his pants then and slid them down his legs. He steped out of them. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he could enjoy this. Carson had to be watching now, aching for her to pull off his underwear and reveal his throbbing cock and tight ass. And with Carson, he was aching for her to do it. And she did. Then they stood there for a moment looking at each other. Carson sat in his armchair trying to keep silent and unnoticed. He knew Michelle was beautiful and sexy, but he hadn't realized just how until he could watch at a distance like this. He had wanted to watch live participants in the act ever since that day he had walked in on Jonathon. He had carried that slide, that single picture in his head ever since then. They were just standing there now, Michelle was waiting for him to take her undress her. Carson realised Jon was still nervous, unsure of what to do. "Unlace her gown." He said. He was surprised at the huskiness of his voice. Jonathon looked off into the darkness, wishng he could see Carson's face posessed by the lust so evident in his voice. Then he looked down at Michelle. She was smiling. He fumbled with the tiny ribbons, trying to grasp them in his hands. They evaded his fingers and slipped out between them. finnaly, with a quick tug, the bow came undone. He loosened the lacings then, and, more gracerfully then his attempts, the gown slid over her shoulders and back, stopping at her hips. she reached her arms up around his neck. "Kiss me." She said. She was so short, he had to lean down. Her head was thrown back so far it was almost horizontal. Her lips and tongue were timid, light. It was frustrating. he put a hand around each tiny upper arm and lifted her to his height, crushing her mouth in a real kiss. The gown spilled over her hips and on to the floor. She cried out in pain and tore her mouth away. He set her down surprised. "God, Jonathon. Be careful." She said. "Sorry." He hadn't meant to hurt her. "Getting carried away, Jon?" the voice from the shadows asked. He turned naked to face that voice, then Michelle was pushing him on to the bed. She turned, naked, to face their master. "Shall I give him a blowjob, Master." "Whatever he wants." She looked to Jonathon. "Alright." He said. He was aroused now, and somewhat impatient with all these baroque proceedings. He wanted to get at it already. She climbed on the bed, and began sucking his cock, in a manner of speaking. She spent most of the time touching and kissing and licking it and very little time with it actually in her mouth. He groaned with frustration, taking hold of her head and thrusting up with his hips in attempt to satisfy his ache, but she again turned her head aside. "You're impatient, Jonathon." She said teasingly. "You're frustrating, Michelle." Enough of these games, and half caresses! If he had to have sex with the girl, she shuld let him do it, rather than teasing him. She lay next to him. "Then come on." She said. He looked at her a moment, confused by the logistics of it. How exactly did this work? "lay on top of me, with your legs between mine." He did, supporting his weight on his elbows. "Where's the lubricant?" he asked, trying to do his part. She laughed, sliding down so her head was underneath his chest. She took his cock and slid it against something warm and wet. He gasped at the sensation. "Right here." Then she guided it in her. He moaned. Wet and warmth and smooth and silk surrounded him. He pushed in slowly, deeper and deeper, till he was encased. His breath was ragged now. He felt her begin to move her hips dragging that delicious sheath across his cock. His own hips bucked in response. He forgot about her, or Carson, and just bucked his hips in growing sensation. She startled him when she spoke again. "Jonathon! You're crushing me!" He had dropped off his elbows. "Sorry." He said, building up momentum again. He found himself thrusting at her faster then he ever could a man, but to no avail. That silkiness which had at first been so arousing was now frustrating. It kept him from climaxing. "Go ahead, Jonathon" She said. He stopped and looked down at her calm face. He realised she didn't want to be doing this. And he was embarrased because now he did. He was aroused and frustrated, and this women was lieing here bored, waiting for him to finsh. He hated the sound of his own ragged breath, heaving in and out of his lungs, and then his husky, broken voice. "I can't. It's too slippery." "Thrust deeper." she said. "I don't want to hurt you." She shook her head. She had her hands on his ass and pulled him to her. He felt himself deep inside her, like at first. He began to thrust his pelvis deep and hard. He flet him self building towards orgasm again. Then a wet finger stroked his anus. It was a familiar sensation, and as he concentrated on that his body remembered and he came. Carson watched Jon's buttocks tense as he cried out in pleasure. He watched Jon's back ripple. All he could see of Michelle was her feet , straddled around Jon's, and her hands wrapped around his ass. Carson stood up from the plush chair and dropped his robe as Jon rolled off her, satiated. He dived onto the bed, landing between Michelle's soft thighs. She laughed startled. He growled at her in play and slid his arms under those pretty thighs pulling that wet flower to his lips. Jonathon watched Carson make a chalice of the girl's pelvis. He watched Carson's reverence as he drank deeply. She began to buck against him, to make her own soft ragged sounds. Jonathon realised she was enjoying this. Part of him wondered, distantly , what 'this' was. What was Carson doing with his mouth and face that gave her more pleasure than the entire exchange between himself and Michelle? And what was there to do? It was a wet hole, a void, nothing to suck or stroke. Nothing to account for the fascination on Carson's face. He watched the tightness in Carson's muscles increase, the sculpted look they took on as each and every muscle showed his arousal. Jonathon wanted to feel that arousal sparking under his hands as he ran them over Carson's taught muscles. What was he doing, lieing on this bed a spectator? Why must he watch these woman's thighs locked around Carson's head? "Will that be all, Master?" He said. His voice was still heavy and cracked, too rough with desire to betray bitterness. Carson looked up surprised. Jonathon realised he had forgotten he was there. Another wave of anger against this woman who consumed his appetite and attention. Carson saw Jonathon was aroused again and smiled. "It needn't be all, Jon. She has a mouth too." "What?" He laughed at Jon's shock. "Kiss her." He had missunderstood again. Jonathon rolled over so he could reach her. He had no choice but to take up Carson's interpretation. She had at least offered him some relief. It was worth it to be here, next to Carson's strong naked body. Jonathon kissed Michelle with the passion he felt for Carson. Surprisingly she kissed back this time. He kisses were quick, and harder than they had been, short gulps at his mouth between moans. Jonathon felt a shiver run through him as he realised just how close to Carson he was. He rolled further over and straddled Michelle's waist. Now he could feel Carson's curl's brush against his ass as Michelle continued to rock. She cried out as her body spasmed, bringing the two men even closer together. Jon felt his own pulse rising. Carson put a hand lightly on Jon's shoulder, only to push him out of the way. Jonathon moaned, at last. But then he was on his back next to Michelle staring up at Carson. He realised Carson was about to mount her. His hand was on his master's bicept. He slid it over Carson shoulder and onto his neck. He pulled Carson down to him, massaging his neck, and kissed him. MIchelle froze as the two men embraced. They were grasping desperately at eachother, mouth's vicously sealed. She wanted to get up, and walk away quietly to leave them to this forbidden passion, but she knew one sound, one movement from her would break the spell. So she held her breath, hoping it would last. Jonathon was almost weeping at the joy of it. After all this time, to finally feel his gorgeous body against his, the muscles under the golden skin filmed with passion's sweat. And Carson's abandon, his passion, his desperation was a match to his own. It was broken by a stinging slap across his face. Jon looked at the wall away from them. He tried to at least calm his breathing. Carson was sitting up, straddled over him, his balls resting on Jonathon's cock. The pain of the blow was nothing, it almost heightened the sensual pleasure, but the throbbing in his groin was unbearable. The rejection was unbearable. And as he lay there, struggling to master his own burning body, the silence, too, was unbearable. He looked straight up into Carson's eyes, unable to mask his desire. His eyes begged Carson to surrender. And Carson's eye's grew wide with fear in response. He slowly climbed off Jonathon. Jonathon moved slowly, like a dream. He pulled on his pants, took his other clothing folded neatly over one arm like a wiator's towel, his shoes at his left side, at the end of his hanging arm. He bowed slightly. "With your leave, Master." It should have been a cool line. He should have been inhumanely composed. Instead he was flushed with desire, his voice thick with want, his temple's pounded with the sound of his own inflamed blood rushing by. Carson watched him dresss, watched him go, without saying a word, without knowing what to say, or what to do. Finally he turned to Michelle. She had the look of a child who had walked in on her parents fighting. "God, what you must be thinking." He said quietly. "What must I be thinking, master?" "That I'm . ." Carson didn't finish. Michelle laughed. "No, I don't think that. I know you're not. You're too good in bed." She paused. "Don't be hard on Jonathon." "What am I going to do about him?" "leave him be." "But how did that happen? What does it mean?" Michelle pulled the masters head into her lap and stroked her fingers through his hair. "It's easy to get confused in trio's. Hard to tell which hand is whose. It doesn't mean anything." Carson was surprised at her calm. She was really acting like this evening had been absolutely ordinary. She talked casually of 'trios'. But then she was an experienced concubine, perhaps it was. "Doesn't it mean anything that I was in a trio?" "Only that you're human." "But I . . " "You kissed him? You enjoyed it? It doesn't mean anything. What would it mean?" He was very scared. He was a young boy who had done something wrong. He was waiting for mother's pronouncement. "I'm here for your enjoyment. And if that means waiting in the outer room and going back to the servants quarters with tales of our lovemaking to mask jonathon's disapearance, that's fine, and it's not like its not been done before." "You do think I'm gay." "No I don't. But Jonathon is. " -Morgan