Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2005 02:30:01 EST
From: RitchChristopher@cs.com
Subject: all-my-tomorrows-9

All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or
are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language,
please exit now.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>


                            "ALL MY TOMORROWS"

			  Copyright Ritchris 2005

                      sequel to "As I Remember Him"

                               A story by

			     Ritch Christopher

                                <><><><><>

                               CHAPTER NINE


<><><><><><><><>

	Richard walked slowly to take the phone from Tom's hand. Tom had a
puzzled look on his face to match the troubled look on Richard's face. Had
either of them been able to see David, the look they'd have seen was a
complete combination of both of theirs: puzzled, troubled, and...something
else..

	"Hello?" Richard spoke into the phone, his eyes riveted on Tom.

	"Hi, Richard. I know it's late as hell, but I just assumed you were
having just as much trouble sleeping as I'm having after the episode with
Jerry."

	"That was a pretty reasonable assumption, David...I couldn't sleep
either."

	"I...I tried calling you several times earlier and when you didn't
answer, I became concerned. I knew you were hurt and upset...I just didn't
know to what length you would go to find peace," David said.

	"If you were worried about me doing harm to myself, don't--I would
never do that. I just kept wishing I had knocked the living daylights out
of Jerry...but then, one can't hit Jerry without suffering dire
circumstances; he is a policeman and assaulting an officer of the law could
mean serious jail time," Richard replied.

	"He was a jerk.. he tried to apologize but I wouldn't let him. I
told him that YOU were the one to whom he owed an apology. I think he may
call you first thing this morning."

	"Good, then I won't bother to answer."

	"No, no, please do, Richard. You SHOULD talk to him. He wants you
to come back to work this afternoon as usual."

	"Do I get a choice of whether or not I'm blindfolded before he
executes me?"

	"I don't think he'll bother you OR me any more. I had a long talk
with him and I think I sort of shamed him with his actions."

	"Then you're planning to stay with him?"

	"For the time being, at least. After that--well, we'll see. I'll
tell you more about it today IF you want to come back."

	"That depends on what Jerry has to say to me."

	"AND NOW, for the million dollar question...WHAT IS MY COLLEGE
ROOMMATE DOING AT YOUR APARTMENT?"

	"Oh, that...!"

	"Yes, THAT!"

	"You're the patient and I'm the therapist, but I'm afraid I'm at a
loss for words."

	"You must know how shocked I am to find out Tom is there with you
at five in the morning! Surely, there's SOME explanation you can offer me?"

	"Not just yet..."

	"You mean you can't talk or you can't say what you mean in front of
him?"

	"Exactly...that's the way I see it."

	"Is he all right? I mean, he's not there for a therapeutic reason,
is he?"

	"Well, actually....in a way."

	"Would you rather wait and tell me when I see you?"

	"That's an EXCELLENT idea, David. I'll certainly look into that."

	"Richard, PLEASE consider coming back. I really need you--in more
ways than one. I've made a wager with Jerry and you're a big part of it."

	"Oh?"

	"I'll explain...IF you come back."

	"Well, David, I'll certainly give it some serious thought," Richard
said, still trying to cover the subject of their conversation from Tom.

	"Can I speak with Tom?"

	"Wait and I'll see," Richard said, pausing. "I'm afraid it's too
late. I guess he had to go some place in a hurry."

	"But--you said you couldn't talk because he was listening..." His
puzzlement, his confusion was obvious.

	"That was just before he left," Richard lied.

	"Then if he's gone, perhaps you can tell me why he was there..."

	"Uh...I would, Richard, but it's a long story and I'd rather tell
you in person."

	"Then you WILL be here, then?"

	"Probably. Look, why don't you get some sleep. We have a lot of
things to discuss and I need to get some sleep myself or I'll be too tired
to work later."

	"All right. Good-night, Richard."

	"Good-night, David...and thanks for calling."

	The phone conversation ended and now Richard had a lot of
explaining, or lying, to do for Tom.

	"I...I wanted to talk to him some more," Tom said.

	"Tom he was tired and I thought it best he get his rest. You know,
considering all that he's been through, with the wreck and all?"

	"What wreck?"

	Richard REALLY had to think what to say now. To his knowledge, Tom
knew nothing about the wreck OR about Luke and David---OR about David being
gay...the VERY THING Tom had dreamed about for three years and it was now a
fact!. How much could Richard say without divulging David's secret? If Tom
suddenly found out that the love of his life was gay and available, what
might happen, what damage might it cause to both David AND Tom...Then
again, maybe they could find a new kind of relationship between them...a
gay one. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Richard had brought Tom home with him to show
him what it's like to make love , but EVERYTHING was different now. Should
Richard be Tom's FIRST?...or should he wait and let David be Tom's teacher?
What a fucking dilemma!

	"Sit down, Tom. There are a few things I need to tell you." Tom
reluctantly took a seat, but his impatience was showing. "You see, the day
David came by to get his things at the dorm...his last day at UVA, on the
way home to River Oaks, he was involved in a tragic auto accident. One guy
was killed. David was in the hospital for over a week. Then the hospital
called and asked me to do therapy with him." Richard was trying to tell the
story as clinically as possible without revealing any secretive details.

	"Good God! I didn't know!" Tom exclaimed. "How badly was he hurt?"

	"Physically, he's recuperating fine, but the accident has left him
somewhat emotionally scarred."

	"Then you mean he's HERE---in River Oaks?"

	"Yes. I've been his rehab therapist since he was discharged from
the UVA hospital."

	"You mean I was that close to him and didn't know he was in the UVA
hospital?"

	"Apparently so."

	"Do you think it would be all right if I visited him? I mean I know
how strict his dad is and David must be climbing the walls."

	"He's not staying at his dad's..."

	"Not staying---I don't understand. Where is he?"

	"Tom, I know how much you'd like to see him, but I think I'd better
ask him first if he's ready to receive visitors."

	"Could you at least tell him 'hello' for me and tell him how much I
would like to see him?"

	"Of course I will."

	"My God, this is all so unbelievable!"

	"Tom, could we not talk about David until I can tell you more?
I...I believe you came home with me for...another purpose."

	"Oh, that...I...I almost forgot."

	"Perhaps, if you'd like to wait until another night...?" Richard
said.

	"No, I...well, if you're still in the mood."

	"I don't know if I'm in the mood for sex, but I think we both could
use a bit of hugging."

	"I think I'd like that, Richard."

	"Why don't you go in and take your shower and shave and we can lie
in bed quietly until the sun comes up. There's towels, a disposable razor,
shaving gel, deodorant, or whatever you need to make you feel better, in
the bathroom."

	"Thanks. You know, I'm glad to know that YOU'RE the one taking care
of David. He needs someone kind like you. I hope you realize how much I
envy you. I remember two winters ago when David had the flu and I took care
of him in the dorm. I even sat on the side of his bed and fed him soup from
a spoon. I couldn't help but wish it could always be like that. I was
actually sorry when he got well."

	"Hearing you talking about David makes me think of that song from
Walt Disney's 'Cinderella'."

	"Which one? I have the DVD."

	"The one where Cinderella sings, 'Have faith in your dreams and
someday, your rainbow will come shining through...'."

	"God knows I've dreamed about David for over three years. I used to
dream about his girlfriend, Jenny, too."

	"Oh?"

	"Yeah, what I'd like to do to her...but that's another Disney movie
where the witch puts the poison in the apple to give to Snow White."

	"I heard she was quite a thorn in David's side."

	"Did he tell you that?"

	"That and more. You do know that he broke off their engagement,
don't you?"

	"NO! There IS a God!"

	Richard laughed. "Go on, buster, and take your shower. I'll be
waiting for you in bed."

	"Don't you want to tell me to wash behind my ears, Mom?"

	"No, but I'll inspect them later!"

	At least Tom was in a better mood, no longer depressed, Richard
thought. Maybe, just maybe, Tom might be the best person for David. Tom
certainly loved him enough. Since David is aware of being gay now...maybe
his attitude toward his roommate of three years could change under the new
circumstances.

	Tom went into the bathroom, undressed, showered and shaved. He even
poured Listerine on Richard's toothbrush as an antiseptic and brushed his
teeth. Then he sprayed some of Richard's cologne under his arms, combed his
hair, put on his white briefs and came back into the bedroom where only one
table lamp was lit. He was suddenly aware of soft music in the background
and realized that, while he was showering, Richard had programmed a half
dozen CD's to play quietly from the living room.

	As Tom approached the bed, Richard said, 'Uh uh, no underwear. I'm
not wearing any and you have to abide by my rules."

	"All right, but..I've never undressed in front of anyone while he
was staring at me."

	"You never undressed in front of David?"

	"Not completely. We lived together three years and stripping to our
underwear was as close as either of us ever got to seeing the other naked."

	"Then I'm glad I'm the first to see you strip."

	"This IS a bit embarrassing." Tom said.

	Richard threw back the covers to reveal his nakedness to Tom.

	"Now does that make it any easier for you? You've seen me, so it's
only fair that I see you."

	Slowly, Tom lowered his briefs, stepped out of them and slid into
bed, then Richard pulled the covers back over both of them.

	"I'm a little cold from the shower," Tom said.

	"Then slide close to me and my body temperature will warm you."

	When their bodies touched for the first time, Tom gasped and
Richard put his arm around Tom's back and pulled him even closer and
tighter. Tom sprang an erection almost immediately and tried to pull his
hips back to keep from making Richard aware of it.

	"I'm sorry...!" Tom said.

	"Don't be sorry, Tom, press your pelvis into mine. I want to feel
you next to me and I want you to feel me."

	Timidly, Tom obeyed and found his hard on merging with
Richard's. Tom's body became rigid and Richard said, "Just relax. There's
nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of. It's only you and me and no one will
ever know about this except us."

	Tom took a deep breath and sighed. When the last of Tom's air was
exhaled, Richard leaned his head close to Tom's and gently kissed him on
the lips, which caused Tom to sigh again. Richard pushed his mouth more
firmly against Tom's and slowly forced his tongue between Tom's lips. Tom
accepted Richard's offering and his tongue began to meet Richard's. This
was Tom's first real kiss and Richard was aware of it and wanted to make it
memorable to Tom for the rest of his life, as a 'first kiss' should be
remembered.

	The kiss relaxed Tom and freed some of his inhibitions and soon he
had put his arms around Richard. Tom was taking command and was kissing
Richard as if he had stored up a lifetime of kisses for this moment. Then
it was time for both to catch their breaths and their lips parted.

	"How was that?" Richard whispered.

	"I never want to stop."

	"Tom, that was just the first of many kisses you'll receive from
many guys during your life. Kissing is what starts romance in sex. Without
it, sex is just a form of exercise."

	"Are we gonna have sex?" Tom asked in a voice that trembled.

	"Do you want to?"

	"The way I feel right now, you could do anything you want to
me. Although I've... well, there are things I've never done."

	"You mean like anal intercourse?"

	"Uh huh. I've never..."

	"That's OK. We don't have to go that far. If you'd rather save
yourself for someone else...?"

	"Richard, there's never been anyone else. Sure, I told you about
the blowjobs at the truck stops and dirty book stores, but, since you gave
me my first kiss, I'd like you to be the first...that is, if you want
to. I...I know I'm not experienced and I'm probably not as good-looking as
the guys you usually go to bed with. So if my looks turn you off, then
that's OK. I'll understand."

	"Jesus Christ! You've really built up an inferiority complex about
yourself. You have no idea what attracts me. I KNOW that David attracts
you."

	"So do you, Richard. I...I just can't believe that someone as
handsome as you would invite me into his bed. I swear I feel like I'm
dreaming. I mean, while I was showering, I kept thinking, 'what does
Richard see in me? Is it pity?' I mean, no one else has ever taken me to
bed...EVER!"

	"Little man, you need someone to love you...and love you deeply. I
invited you to my place to show you what it feels like to make
love. There's more to it than a quick orgasm."

	"Richard, if you want to turn out that light and pretend I'm
someone else, I'd like you to make love to me...but I DO feel inferior."

	"I'll turn ON all the lights if needs be, just to prove that I find
you attractive."

	"But how could you?"

	"Have you ever heard of 'inner beauty'?"

	"I guess."

	"Well, you're filled with it. You have so much love to give...love
that you've wasted hopelessly on someone you knew would never love you
back. I think it's time someone made love to you and give some of your love
back to you."

	"You mean---you?"

	"I'll ask you. Do YOU want the light on or off?"

	"Off, please. I think I could relax more."

	"All right." Richard reached for the bedside lamp and turned it
off. "Now just lie back, close your eyes--hell, pretend I'm David, if you
like, and let me show you how it feels for someone to make love to you."

	Richard began the standard routine of getting on top of Tom and
smothering his entire body with tiny kisses, head to toe, then back up
Tom's legs until Richard reached Tom's organ and began making love every
way possible to Tom until he reached his climax. Tom cried out, "OH,
GOD!". Richard didn't stop until Tom's swollen member became flaccid. Then
Richard returned to Tom's head and kissed him again. Tom was physically
exhausted.

	"Did that feel differently than a truck-stop quickie?" Richard
asked.

	"It was more wonderful than I ever fantasized." Did his voice have
a tear in it?

	"Would you like to go to sleep now with me holding you?"

	"No...not until I make love to you, too."

	"You don't have to, Tom."

	"Yes, I do. It's my first night of love and I don't want it to
end."

	"Just tell me what you want and I'll be agreeable."

	"I want to try what you just did, so it's your turn to lie back and
close your eyes."

	Tom mimicked every action he could remember from Richard until
Richard finally gave in and climaxed, quicker than usual since he didn't
want Tom to work too hard or lose the emotional feeling he had
discovered. Then, completing his task, Tom returned to the pillow and
kissed Richard.

	"Was it OK?"

	"You were terrific, Tom. That's what I should call you, 'Tom
Terrific'!"

	Both lay back and looked at the ceiling to rest.

	After a moment of silence, Tom timidly spoke, "Can I ask you
something, Richard?"

	"Sure, anything."

	"Do you think anyone could ever love me?"

	"I'm sure of it!"

	"Uh...could someone like you love me? I mean, someone as handsome
as you?"

	"Of course. Looks have nothing to do with love."

	"Yean, but let me put it a different way...could YOU love me?"

	"Probably, why?"

	"I've only loved David...no one else. I don't know what it's like
to fall in love with someone who could love me the way I've loved him."

	"You will."

	"I hope this won't spoil our evening together, but Richard, I think
I could fall in love with you."

	"So soon?"

	"I've always heard people talk about 'love at first sight' and I
know now it's possible. Oh, I know you couldn't love me...but this is the
best night of my life."

	"But we don't know much about each other. We'd have to get
acquainted. You know, date a little, see what we have in common."

	"I suppose that's where it would end. Once you got to know the real
me, you'd never fall in love with me...but you're the first person I've
ever met who might make me forget about David."

	"Tom, you're going to meet lots of guys who'll make you forget
about David AND me."

	"My dad used to tell me that I'd never forget my first time with a
girl. I'd remember it always. Well, I was never with a girl and I'm glad
you were my first guy and Dad was right! I'll never forget you."

	"Thank you, Tom. I feel honored."

	"No, I should be thanking you."

	"Are you tired enough to go to sleep now, Tom?"

	"I'm tired, yeah, but I don't want to stop until you've shown me
everything."

	"You mean..."

	"Yes, anal sex! I want you to do it to me."

	"Are you sure?"

	"I might never get the chance again...so if you're willing...?"

	"All right, but we WILL have to use a condom. I have some in the
drawer beside me."

	"Get one...I'm ready."

	It was nearly seven-thirty before their session ended, but Richard
had given Tom the full treatment. There was nothing left to try. Tom had
done everything and couldn't have been happier. Richard, on the other hand,
was left perplexed. Was it possible to fall in love with a total
stranger...a twenty-two year old college student he had known for less than
six hours? And what about David? Richard had to go see him at the regular
time later in the afternoon. And Tom? Tom would go back to UVA and then
what???

	Richard suddenly thought, "Hell, I don't even know Tom's last
name!"

<><><><><><><><><>

	Richard and Tom had only been asleep for less than an hour when the
telephone rang at 8:15AM. Jerry Collins had decided to replace his morning
breakfast with an ample amount of crow which he swallowed while dialing
Richard to apologize. Richard had had such a wonderful night with Tom,
David's former roommate, and even though it was morning, he was filled with
an afterglow from the evening. Had it not been for his romantic interlude
with Tom, which changed Richard's mood drastically, Richard realized that
IF Jerry apologized, he still might not accept it and agree to come back to
work with David.

	Needless to say, Jerry didn't like apologizing to Richard as he
didn't like to apologize to anyone due to his policeman-like manners. Still
he managed to grovel verbally, asking for understanding and forgiveness,
and when Richard said he would be at Jerry's at the usual time, Jerry was
pleased for now his plan for winning Jenny was settling into place.  On his
part, Richard breathed a sigh of relief, having completed the call without
mentioning David by name. Richard went back to bed and assumed a spoon
position with his arms around Tom and the two slept until noon. When they
awoke, the room was bright with sunlight.  Tom seemed to glow from within,
showering again and dressing before meeting Richard in the kitchen. Richard
had made Eggs Benedict for the two of them which they ate almost in
silence, each reliving the night's experiences in bed. Even so, they had a
cheerful brunch. But then it was time to return to reality---time for Tom
to return to UVA and for Richard to get ready to go to work at Jerry's.
Richard was still a little unsettled about the way he felt and about Tom's
confession of 'first love'. Tom was still in a daze, all moony-eyed in the
daylight. Tom had been smitten by Richard and Richard didn't know whether
to put a damper on Tom's mood and risk the chance of depressing him again
or to just 'let it go' and see what happened in the future.

	As Tom got to the door to return to school, he took suddenly turned
and took Richard into his arms to give him one final kiss. Neither of the
two was sure of the nature of the kiss---was it passion, or was it a
courteous 'thank you'? The two decided, however, that they would not call
one another during the following week, but instead made a date to meet
again at Le Cavalier Gai the following Saturday to see how they'd feel
about each other after a week's separation.

	Richard arrived on time at Jerry's. The two of them barely speaking
as they passed each other in the doorway then each headed to his job,
moving in opposite directions from each other.  David was excited to see
Richard again and, when he was sure Jerry's car had left the parking lot,
he hugged Richard, kissing him lightly on the lips. A bolt of guilt ran
through Richard and he wasn't sure why...was it his feeling for David, his
feeling for Tom, Tom's feeling for him, or Tom's feeling for David in
David's ignorance of the way Tom felt about him? God, he couldn't even
straighten out the names!

	Richard didn't want to allow himself to get in the same position in
which Jerry had caught him the night before, so he thought it best to keep
his time with David today on a friendly professional level. David seemed to
understand and didn't let Richard's 'coolness' upset him. Richard suggested
that it was time for David to get outside to get some fresh air, away from
the house, so they decided to go for a walk through the newly fallen autumn
leaves.

	"Richard, are you ready to tell me what Tom was doing at your
apartment?"

	"I'll tell you later--let's just walk quietly now and enjoy the
walk."

	"All right."

<><><><><><><><><><>

	After roll call at the police station, Jerry and Ty got into their
squad car to make the early rounds before 'doughnut time'.

	"So, partner, how'd your date go last night?" Ty asked.

	"Who said I had a date?"

	"Look, Jer, I did pass the detective section on the police
exam. I'm no dummy. When I got to work last night, expecting to ride with
you, and suddenly I'm partnered with Ron Barger, I just naturally assumed
you were out tomcatting."

	"Well, if you're so good at playing 'Inspector Harry Callahan', you
shouldn't have to ask how my date went."

	"That bad, huh?"

	"I went to see her at her house and she must've thought I was
Dr. Phil. All she wanted to talk about was her ex-fiancé, David."

	"Jesus, talk about a detour while trying to get to first base..."

	"Man, I was WAY out in left field!"

	"So how did the evening end? Are you gonna try to see her again and
use a different approach to make YOU the object of her attention?"

	"I think so...and I just might have a plan that will work!"

	"Oh? How so?"

	"I won't go into details, but I talked with David about Jenny to
get an idea of how he still felt about her..."

	"And?"

	"He wants no part of her. I didn't tell him I had been to her house
to see her, but I made him a bet that if I EVER dated her, he would get
jealous."

	"Listen, Jerry, if David's made his mind up he's gay, you'll
probably lose that bet."

	"Yeah, but I might win Jenny in the long run."

	"Partner, you're hopeless...absolutely, pitifully hopeless!"

	"Oh, seeing Jenny was only Act One of my evening."

	"I hate to ask about Acts Two and Three..."

	"Act Two was when I became an asshole...a REAL jerk!"

	"In front of Jenny?"

	"No, when I got home. I walked in my house only to discover David
and his therapist, Richard, had been canoodling."

	"Canoodling?"

	"Yeah, the two of them had cum stains all over the front of their
trousers."

	"So...?"

	"So I found myself in a tirade and ordered Richard out of my
house...and fired him from his position."

	"You didn't have the right to do that! You're not paying Richard,
are you?"  "No, Luke's lawyer is taking care of the bills."

	"Then why did you get so angry with the two of them 'getting off'?
They probably needed to."

	"Ty, for the life of me, I don't know what got into me. I was just
so..."

	"Jealous?"

	"HELL, NO! I wasn't jealous!"

	"Then what would you call it?"

	"Why the hell would I be jealous?"

	"You tell me, Jerry."

	"I don't know."

	"Tell me, were you jealous of David being with Richard or the other
way around?"

	"Listen, I still say I wasn't jealous."

	"Looking at the situation objectively, I'd say you were jealous of
Richard canoodling David. After all, it was Richard you ordered out of your
house and you kept David there."

	"You think I wanted to have sex with David?"

	"I'm not suggesting anything...only YOU can answer that."

	"ALL RIGHT! I admit it. I stayed up half the night wondering if I
WAS jealous. I mean, I've never been interested in a guy before...NO GUY!"

	"From what you told me about David, he wasn't either, not until a
month ago when he hooked up with Luke."

	"I know you're gay, Ty...but can latent homosexuality lie dormant
in a guy until he's an adult?"

	"I think if you'll look at the divorce statistics, you'll find the
answer. A lot of men don't know it or realize it until after they're
married."

	"You're saying that David is not an isolated case?"

	"By no means. Haven't you read about the 'down low' clubs in New
York and San Francisco?"

	"Down low? What's that?"

	"It's like a club where mostly straight guys meet once a week, like
poker night, only they assemble to pair off and have gay sex. Lots of
married men do that."

	"God, I feel as if I'm living in the wrong century. I've never
heard of such a thing."

	"You wouldn't, living here in River Oaks...but it wouldn't surprise
me if there's a small 'down low' chapter right here!"

	"Jesus Christ! Then you're saying that I MIGHT have some repressed
feelings about David and not even be aware of them?"

	"Partner, you wouldn't be the first and you certainly won't be the
last. Look at David. He was engaged to the very girl you'd like to date and
she wasn't enough for him...or rather, she wasn't what he was looking for
to make him happy."

	"Ty, it's like I told you the other day, I could never have sex
with a man. I don't think like that. I'm not that way."

	"Let me ask you something. Do you like beer?"

	"No, I hate it?"

	"How do you know?"

	"Because I hate the taste of it."

	"How about lobster?"

	"One of my favorites..."

	"Do you remember the first time you ate a lobster?"

	"Vaguely."

	"Looking at it, did you hesitate before taking the first bite?"

	"A little."

	"How about escargot?"

	"I wouldn't eat a snail...NO WAY!"

	"Have you ever tasted one?"

	"NO!"

	"Then how do you know you wouldn't like them?"

	"Because the idea of putting one in my mouth makes me sick just to
think about it."

	"OK, let's sum it all up! You hate the taste of beer because you
tasted it and didn't like it. You were reticent about tasting lobster until
you got brave enough to take your first bite and then you loved
it. Escargot is out of the picture! Personally, I love escargot but you
hate it even though you MIGHT like it, but you're afraid to try it."

	"So what's your point?"

	"How do you know you wouldn't like gay sex since you've never tried
it? Who says that a man's dick doesn't taste a lot like lobster?"

	"You're fucking incorrigible!"

	"THINK ABOUT IT!"

	"I suppose I could ask you if you've ever eaten pussy!"

	"You want to know?"

	"Yes, I do."

	"Then, YES, I have! I at least tried it before I decided I didn't
like it. That's more than you can about a man's organ."

	"Are you telling me I should have sex with David to find out if I'm
really gay or not?"

	"It doesn't necessarily have to be David. It could be with any gay
guy."

	"Does that mean you're propositioning me...to let me use you as a
guinea pig?"

	"If it would help you make up your mind...or find out about
yourself, I'd have no qualms about having sex with you."

	"God damn! I can't believe we're even having this discussion!"

	"OK, so we'll drop the subject...but remember, any time you feel
like experimenting, just say the word. I swear it will be OUR secret and
won't interfere at all with our working relationship!"

	"God! Look at the time. Let's go get some éclairs and doughnuts!"

	"Cream-filled, Jerry?"

	"Oh, shut up! I may never eat another éclair as long as I live!"

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	David and Richard walked down the block to a little park, its
covered with autumn colored leaves...red, yellow, gold, brown, and faded
green. Some of the branches were already bare in readiness for the first
winter snow that usually came to River Oaks the week after
Thanksgiving. This being David's first outing since moving in with Jerry,
the air was crisp and cold but he enjoyed inhaling the smell of fall. He
was glad Richard had returned and he almost felt the need to grab Richard's
hand, holding it as they were walking. David had accepted the fact that he
was gay now and he didn't care who knew it, especially the River Oaks
prigs, however no one in Jerry's neighborhood knew David, but he was sure
that ANYONE who saw two guys holding hands would report to the police
concerning this lewd and lascivious behavior.

	"Wanna rest awhile on that park bench?" Richard asked.

	"Yeah, I'd love to."

	"I don't want to rest long because, as long as we're moving, you
won't feel the cold as much. The last thing I want is for you to catch a
cold or perhaps the flu from the chill."

	"Don't worry, if I start to get really cold, I'll tell you and we
can walk some more."

	The two sat down on the bench and Richard pointed to a couple of
squirrels that were busy collecting walnuts to store for the oncoming
winter famine.

	"Do you suppose they're male and female or male and male?" Richard
joked.

	"I saw on Animal Planet that some animals mate with the same
sex...even for life."

	"You're kidding!"

	"Didn't you see on the news about the penguins in the zoo? For
years, everyone thought they were a couple, but it turned out that, though
they WERE a couple, they both were males."

	"That must have shocked the shit out of the Christian Right who
used penguins as an example of lifelong monogamy."

	A sudden silence ensued. They stood looking at each
other. "Richard?"

	"Yes?"

	"Are you ready to tell me why Tom was at your apartment when I
called at five A.M.?"

	"I...I, uh, met him at a bar and got to talking with him and found
out he was in a depressed mood and I thought maybe I could talk to him
better in a more subdued setting than a bar."

	"He drove all the way from UVA just to talk?"

	"That's why I invited him."

	"Well, did you succeed?"

	"What do you mean?"

	"Was he in a better mood when he left?"

	"Oh, MUCH better."

	"I'm glad. He was like a brother to me after Mark left. He was my
closest male companion. I don't think he liked Jenny very much."

	"Oh? Do you know why?"

	"Not really, but I had my suspicions."

	"Like what?"

	"It was almost as if he was jealous of her...like he didn't want to
share me with her."

	"You didn't think Tom was gay, did you?"

	"I never was sure. We never talked about it. I mean, in the three
years we shared a dorm room, I can't recall his ever dating a girl."

	"He...he didn't go out with guys, did he?"

	"No. I don't think he would've even if he was gay. I think he'd've
been afraid of losing my friendship."

	"Would he have lost your friendship if you found out he WAS?"

	"I don't know. If word got out that he WAS gay, then I might have
moved out because otherwise everyone would've assumed that I was his gay
roommate."

	"What about now, since you've come out? Would you live with him
now, if you were both gay?"

	"I'm still not sure how to answer that. First of all, my dad would
have still cut off paying my tuition. And Jenny would sure have raised holy
hell until I moved out. She would have spread the news all over the
campus."

	"David, I'm curious. Why DID you ask Jenny to marry you? You always
seem to find something about her to criticize."

	"Sheer stupidity. I was the son of Neil Stanley, prominent citizen
of River Oaks. It was like some Chinese custom, like a prearranged marriage
where I was supposed to marry someone of our own social status."

	"Can I make a far-out supposition, to maybe get a far-out reply
from you?"

	"Sure."

	"You said that you didn't realize you were gay until you slept with
Luke."

	"That's right."

	"Well, just suppose...and I mean, SUPPOSE, you found out that Tom
was gay while you were sharing a room with him...and SUPPOSE he wanted to
have sex with you. I mean whatever gay feelings you were suppressing then
were actually there, even though you weren't ready to face them. Would you
have gone to bed with Tom? Would you have found him attractive or sexy
enough to sleep with him?"

	"Since this is just 'let's suppose', and remember, my answer is
based on speculation, ...maybe I would have. But what are you getting at?
You keep bringing up the idea of Tom being gay."

	"Ah, shit, David! I can't lie to you. Tom IS gay. He came home with
me last night to spend the night with me."

	"Are you serious? TOM?"

	"Yes, Tom! I can't believe that you're as intelligent as you are
and you lived with a guy...your best friend for three years and you never
knew he was in love with you!"

	"Richard, I...I can't believe what you're saying."

	"Since I've broken a trust by outing him to you, why should I make
up lies about him?"

	"He told you that he was in love with me?"

	"Why do you think he was so fucking depressed? You had left him!"

	"Then why didn't he visit me in the hospital?"

	"Tom knew NOTHING about your accident."

	"Did you tell him about Luke...and me?"

	"No, I didn't mention Luke's name, NOR did I tell him that you were
gay now."

	"Holy shit!"

	"I DID tell him that you have broken off with Jenny and he was
delighted."

	"I'll bet!"

	"David, he wants to come visit you at Jerry's and I told him I'd
have to ask you first. He doesn't know you're gay and he certainly wouldn't
expect me to tell you about him or his feelings for you. I just didn't want
to complicate your life anymore than it already is. You've lost a brother
and a lover and you're still recuperating from a near-death auto
accident. I've bit my tongue all day wondering if I should tell you about
Tom. Incidentally, he was great in bed. THERE, and I've said way too much!"

	"Did he say if there had been other guys he was interested in
besides me?"

	"Nope...you're his dream guy! The only one he's ever loved."

	"God, I must have made his life hell. I mean, he must have been in
some kind of torture every time he saw me kiss Jenny. That was cruel."

	"Yes, it would have been if you'd known, but you didn't know. No
one did!"

	"Do you think he's still in love with me, Richard?"

	"I don't know. I might have fucked that up, too!"

	"What do you mean?"

	"Tom had never had sex in bed with anyone before he went to bed
with me last night...and I'm afraid he got carried away in the moment of
passion because, just before he left my apartment, he said he thought he
was falling in love with me. I DIDN'T encourage him and I didn't reply when
he said that to me. Hell, I wanted you to know about it first. I mean, I
kept thinking that in the future, you two might get together."

	"What do you think? Should I let him come visit me?"

	"It's up to you, David...just remember, he doesn't know that you
know about him OR about him and me spending the night together. David, you
could ask him down for a friendly roommate-to-roommate visit. You don't
have to tell him you're gay. You could act like buddies, like you did for
three years. That way there'd be no involvement out of the ordinary. Once
he comes here, then you can decide how much or how little you want to tell
him about yourself."

	"Are you planning to see him again?"

	"Yes. Next Saturday after I leave you at eleven-fifteen."

	"Where? At your apartment?"

	"No, I'm gonna meet him at a gay bar just this side of UVA."

	"Are you going to ask him home to have sex again?"

	"I don't know. That's up to you. If you're interested in him, I
don't want to further Tom's and my relationship in any way."

	"You're always the gentleman, putting others' wishes before your
own. Let me present YOU with a supposition..."

	"I think I know where you're going..."

	"Richard, I lived with Tom, but you've gone to bed with him. You've
seen a different side of him that I never imagined. So...do you think you
could fall in love with him...if I weren't in the picture?"

	"You know, I...I asked myself that after he left."

	"And...?"

	"I...I decided I MIGHT fall in love with him...but...it would be
easier to fall in love with you. I know it's too soon after Luke's death
for me to even talk about that. But, who knows? Some day...in the distant
future..."

	"You could fall in love with me?"

	"In a New York minute!"

	"Thank you, Richard..."

	"You're welcome...now let's go home."

	"Please tell Tom to come visit me when you see him."

	"I will..."

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(To be continued in "All My Tomorrows" chapter ten.)