Date: Thu, 20 Aug 2015 20:58:20 +1200
From: Tyler Chapman <buddyloverforever@gmail.com>
Subject: As The Willows Watched - Chapter 4

Thank you for choosing this story. Sex accentuates particular moments but
is far from this story's basis, if that it what you search for look
elsewhere.

This is the work of the author and he alone holds the rights to it.

Disclaimer; if you are unable to grasp the normality of two people of the
same sex being in intimate situations it would be in your best interests to
stop reading and expand your perspective of this world.

Feel free to get in touch; writeroftheworldwriterofsoul@gmail.com

Humble apologies for the double up in previous chapters, may this clear it
up.


Chapter 4


'You want to pull your buckie?' I asked. Knowing my bucky had a deep cone
and huge bottle packing massive hit.

Inspecting it Brad agreed and inhaled the entirety exhaling and coughing so
much he was dribbling.

'Yeah it's a dribbler, that's why I blow the smoke out the window so I spit
it all out. Otherwise I end up drooling like a rest home patient' I said to
reassure him he wasn't failing in any way. Failing at this was Brad's
biggest ideological issue. I let him learn from some failures and reassured
him of the commonality of others depending on what they were.

'Cold liquid plea - cough' he managed between his extreme coughing fit. I
pondered whether he'd ever had a buckie before, if not, this would blow his
mind. I pondered further if he could even talk after that one; I had packed
it to the top.

I got him a freezing can of Coke Zero from the fridge, my fridge was kept
at the lowest temperature - it's a fridge - and handed it to him. He downed
the can and stumbled outside holding onto posts for support.

'You OK B?' I asked cautiously. I didn't want him to have a bad buzz or be
so wasted he would freak out or spew or God knows what.

He nodded breathing slowly sitting in my blue wooden throne, that was built
to look like and did look like a throne. I watched the stars from it.

'Yeah yup I'm sweet, just need to settle into the high. Never been this
high in my life, what you do to me. You wanna have your way with me and ma
body' he said like an Oracle glazed eyes.

'I don't think I need to get you high to achieve that babe, I'm gonna hit
the buckie and sit with you good' I replied

'Good, then we will be the same level of smashed' he said

Laughing to my self I knew it would take maybe 8 of the same size cones to
achieve that. So I had my single buckie and went out to chill with Brad.

He was long gone into the wonderings of the mind so I let my mouth do the
kind of stoned talking it did best while people were as blazed as that.

'You know it's amazing what health benefits carrots have, just one a day
can halve your risk of lung cancer. But talking to the dog is so much more
mentally therapeutic for me, you know? I just tend to sip my tea and tell
her how the cosmos is made up' I rambled

'How is the cosmos made up' Brad asked still distant but interested much
more than anyone should be when that blazed.

'There is the Universe which is a state of continual expansion and within
the hundreds of billions of galaxies much like the Milky Way that our own
solar system resides in spinning in a vortex around the sun as the sun
circles the centre of the Milky Way. Different galaxies are made up of
different stars and planets and some are shaped differently, some long and
thin some fat and wide. Some like the Milky Way are spiral galaxies and our
Milky Way spins around two black holes that spin around each other. The
thing with black holes is they have an outside ring like the edge of a
circle called the event horizon - much like if you go over that horizon and
event will happen - yet if do not nothing will happen. So we are safe from
those black holes at the centre of our galaxy. Life is likely to exist on
many planets in this Universe but unlikely to have advanced more than
microbes like bacteria.  The light that passes into our eyes from these
stars has taken millions if not billions of years to reach us, this light
is older than the earth and if we looked at those stars with a telescope we
would be seeing them how they looked all those millions of years ago
because the light we use to see what they look like is the light they
emitted when they were millions of years younger as it has taken that long
to reach earth. That's why they say 10,000 light years or 50,000,000 light
years - if we look at a star 50,000,000 light years away we see it how it
looked 50,000,000 years ago. For all we know that star might have burnt up
and be dead but the light is still travelling and reaching us. Like the
effect a great person leaves when they pass from this earth and the effect
of Mum's curry as it passes through the body. That is one of the many
reasons I love looking at the stars, the secrets they carry, the age of
their twinkle while looking young to us is ancient and the source possibly
even extinct'

'How do you know so much' Brad asked '...I can ask you most anything and
you know'

'It's only because I like to know, I thrive off learning even when I don't
have to read and learn. It's a strong part of who I am, always been
there. To know'

Brad nodded eyes closed 'Do you think dick sucking counts as sex, cause you
look so hot right now Wills'

I burst out laughing while he smiled 'If you can get hard we see about it'

Opening his eyes he stated with authority 'I get hard whenever I want'

'Likewise, you first and maybe if you want I will teach you a few things
then you can try. Sound good' I said

'Babe that's the best idea all day, you make we way too horny. Just no sex
no matter how into we get cause I'll forget cause I'll be with you and bein
this blazed. I want that special' he said eyes closed again.

I was keen but we'd see about his dick. Maybe an hour. Or three. Or half
depending - his muscles might absorb the weed well. Who knew.

He was hard within moments of mentioning it.

I could see him through my sunglasses in the peripheral of my vision lying
back in my throne facing the sun all lit up Oakleys on. It would be me that
had to make the first move and I would do it Messiah William style.

Sitting a while longer still taking notice of Brad through the corner of my
sunglasses I stood up with the same grace I usually possessed. Casually
without causing Brad to move I walked over to him; swiftly bending down
embracing his mouth with mine kissing him with a kind of passion and
devastating love that his whole body shook.

Leaning into him his cock was hard against the side of my leg as I
continued to kiss him. Brad taken by surprise sighed as I kissed his neck
moaning as my leg slid up and down his cock.

Deciding to give him the best blow job he will ever get - at least from
anyone else as mine are always best - outside right where we were I
unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.

'What? Shit! Wills we cant do it out here, what if someone comes. I know
nobody can see but they could arrive or your parents walk up' Brad said

I smiled 'Nobody is coming up B, my driveway takes five minutes to drive
and you can hear them coming from ages away. My parents do not walk here or
actually come here'

By this point Brad's dick was already in my mouth and he was agreeing with
everything I said. I worked slowly at first pumping his cock with my mouth,
lips and tongue then licking the tip I fevered his sweet agony up causing
sounds of all kinds. Stroking his body and ball I followed with best
blowjob I have ever given. Brad convulsed exploding cum all over my
t-shirt.

'I can't explain - just may God have mercy. I...that was pure bliss - I
didn't know I could feel that good'

I messed his wavy hair 'Glad you enjoyed it ya stud. Now you know what
that's like'

Moving his head very intently up and down he said 'Yes, yes. Oh I know
exactly what it is like. Lucky your mine cause that is a super power only I
get to use'

I laughed as I easily moved back into my seat 'I've sucked a lot of dick
but now just yours aye B?'

Dead serious eyes came out from underneath his sunnies as he lifted them
from his face;

'Yes, of course'

'I know Brad, it's rhetorical'

Sighing an ohh Brad lit back up again with a bright smile upon looking at
me.

'You have my cum all over your shirt it's kinda like I sperm marked you.'
Brad joked

We both laughed inspecting my t-shirt. I took it off and threw it in Brad's
face resting back down in my seat.

Throwing it through the door to the house Brad did his fly and button up
and stated he was better off now because he could check me without my shirt
on.

'So I guess I get to try sucking your dick now?' Brad asked

With a gentle wave of the hand I said 'Nah babe, that was hot enough. We
have all night and the rest of today.'

Brad was happy with that 'True. Ahhh now. Wanna lay in the lounge and chill
to music until dinner?'

'Nah, I'm going to go and weed the front garden - that shit is getting
intense I can hardly see the shrubs let alone their flowers' leaning
forward and up off my seat in one elegant movement I stepped inside.

Brad followed me 'You want any help?'

'Yeah I'd love your help but it's all good if you want to chill B. But hey,
your still pretty blazed so you know what you want to do and I'd do it with
you if I was as blazed and you. So enjoy your chill time babe, there is
coke in the fridge and Spotify for all your music plus the TV'

'You know ma mind Wills gonna use this blaze in a chill out. You're going
to be just outside the window right?' he cozied into the sofa and found a
good playlist on Spotify playing it through the stereo.

'Yeah. Why?'

'Because I consider it my priority to protect you, because I love you and
because I might get bored and wanna come see you' he was plain in is
innotation.

'Oh, cool OK. Yeah, the window behind the sofa' I pointed to completely
affirm. Brad was pleased and closed his eyes eating popcorn from a bag.

Then weaving crawling fingers of green sprawled over the shrubbery and
clung as I pulled it away. Clung for dear life. So I went into a WilDiam
Mode and methodically with a deep ferociousness ripped all weeds from the
garden and turned the newly exposed soil with a shovel.

Brad came out with can of Coke Zero and a look of admiration.

'Shit Wills you dug the whole fucking thing over, never fail to amaze me my
boy' he said drinking some of the Coke Zero and handing it to me.

I consumed the rest of it and dug the shovel into the earth so it would
stand by itself.

'Enjoy your chill?'

'Fuck yes I did. Haven't chilled out that deeply in fuck knows how long, I
feel like doing something physical now but by the looks you've gone and
done it all' he said

'There's always the lawns' I said as an obvious joke.

'Sweet, where's the lawn mower?' he asked '...got any petrol in it?'

'Yeah should be half full, in the garage by the car' I said. Hey I was
happy for him to do whatever made him happy.

So off he went and a few minutes later the rage and anger of the lawn mower
was throwing itself throughout the countryside. I went back inside and
vacuumed doing the dishes afterwards and cleaning the bench. Followed by an
organisation of the house so it was as tidy I liked it with enough eclectic
mess to still be whimsical with random things here and there.

I made a couple of tequila sunrises - albeit mine with so little tequila it
was juice - and took them outside.

Brad was mowing every piece of lawn he could see but finished not long
after I sat down.

'Ohhh YUM what are those?' he asked shirtless and sweaty again striding
down onto the deck kick his boots off.

'Tequila sunrise'

'SAWEET just what I fucking feel like' he downed the glass at once. It a
was very large glass about 600mls.

'Jesus did you put the whole bottle in there' he said making strange eye
movements.

'Nah, most of it though' I laughed to myself

'You William Wells want to get me pissed so you can have you secretly kinky
ways with me' he said all mischievously.

'Nah that would be a waste of tequila, you already wanna get with me and
besides I could drop a pill in your Coke Zero anytime and have my way with
you and you'd have no idea' came my casual reply as I sipped my tequila-ish
juice.

'True. Well that was yum as despite the mega volume of tequila' he said

'Ha sorry about that, I was otherwise occupied'. Brad didn't ask with what,
he knew it was the storm of thoughts in my head.

'Ah it's no worries Wills gives me an excuse to ask you to make me another
now that I'm on the way. Sides I mowed the lawn I deserve a little
drunkenness' he said

'Same amount of tequila?' I asked gliding my way inside

'NOT QUITE' he yelled. I chuckled making him up another sunrise with a
little less rise and more sun.

Handing it to him he downed it at once again and sighed in appreciation.

'Do you down everything at once?' I asked shocked but not really surprised
on second thought.

Sly were his lips 'Maybe you'll have to wait and see'

We both cracked up. Laughing firstly at his comment then just at each
other's laughs then at the fact we were still laughing.

'Maybe you'll have to wait and see you muscly beast of man. I'm filled to
the brim with surprises. You might be so surprised that you choke'

Brad flicked me a look of slight uncertainty then flashed his killer smile;

'If you could get my dick all the way down I'm sure you could teach me,
besides don't we all know in the end it's the tip that matters?'

'Oh B you make me laugh you cray black gospel woman. Sucking dick like I do
takes a lot of practice but sucking dick good is easy - suck it the way
you'd want your own dick to be sucked'

'But you suck dick like a professional Wills and you know what that means?'

'What?' I was genuinely curious of what was going on up there in that head
of his.

'Your gonna be getting your dick sucked a lot till I'm as good as you, even
if it takes as long'

'16 years?'

'Yup least I'll have good mouth muscles to add to the rest' he said
beaming.

What I liked about Brad is that he just assumed we'd be together long
term. God only knows if we would be but it was the same way I thought when
in an actual relationship. You're either in it in the moment and want to be
for the future or you don't at all. Brad was the same, it was never assumed
we'd breakup - you don't assume those things especially this early - but he
was certain that he wanted me not just in his next few years but all of his
years. Both of us felt that way and we knew each other did so we didn't
need to talk about it unless it came up in conversation or for fun - we
could enjoy each moment as we moved through it while feeling comfortable in
knowledge we had a future as much we could control anyway. I mean the guy
was moving his entire life for me, to be with me.

He jumped over and scooped me out of my seat taking me back to his like a
husband would carry his new wife. Sitting on his lap with my legs over one
arm of the throne and my back resting against the other. I nuzzled into his
neck feeling the prickle of his few days stubble. Bush man in his blood.

'Wills you are light as, I could probably lift you the ground with one arm'
Brad commented.

'I have need for bulk it get in the way of my swiftness when I run' was all
I said back.

'So random change of subject but while I've got you in my lap we must
talk. I go home tomorrow for a week..'' the last part actually sounded like
he was in pain '...but I'm coming back with my trailer and all my shit. I'm
moving in then'

'Sweet, that'll be fun'

He was happy now chest puffed out a bit 'So do we go halves in rent and
stuff how will we work it'

Considering for no more than one or two seconds I replied 'Hmm well there
is no rent here so that's fine. Power, Internet, Sky they already get
automatically paid so maybe just add your on auto payment for the power -
10 bucks weekly - and it will go in with mine and all will be well'

'What about internet and sky?' he asked

'They're a fixed monthly sum and my aps already cover them. Just food
because you eat my bodyweight daily so we can open a shared account and put
money into so the shopping it joint'

'Sounds legit. I have a Lazy Boy and sweet new sofa so you can chuck that
therapist looking sofa out' Brad scoffed

'The sofa remains, we will make room for your paraphernalia'

'Meaning?'

'Items that you carry with you when you get back'

'Oh cool, new word. Para-phernalia thanks for adding to my vocab Wills'

Chapter 4I

I awoke at 6am the next morning for my meditation. Brad would sleep for
another hour before showing life; I had kissed his forehead before leaving
the bedroom without causing no more than a murmur.

Peacefully focused on my breath for an hour I calmly did half an hour of
yoga and made Brad a Wills Mornin Get Up Before I Get Back From My Run
Coffee placing it on the bedside table. He was mostly awake when I went in
fully kitted out in my running gear, I spared no expense when it came to
running gear - if I was going to be running for multiple hours I would be
comfortable - and he looked at me lust burning in his eyes. My t-shirt and
shorts left little to the imagination.

'Please tell me your not showing that body off down some heavily populated
footpath' he murmured

'No Bradley, this fine as hell body will be seen by nobody I'm doing a 20K
down the rail trail. OK?'

Closing his eyes he said 'OK just be careful, I'll still be here when you
get back'

I left him in bed and kind of flew out of the house; I am light on my
feet. Setting up RunKeeper on the iPhone strapped to my arm with headphones
in my ears I chose my play list and took off. The kilometres ticked by as I
settled into the pace I would keep till the finish. Two hours passed as I
leisurely ran a half marathon distance enjoying the sensations of the
climate and music. Usually I would be 40 minutes quicker but this wasn't a
race it was a run for fun and maintenance.

Brad was still in bed when I got home no sweat marks anywhere quite at
peace with everything. He was talking to his Dad about shifting jobs which
should be easy given his Dad owns the company Brad works for. You'd think
so anyway.

'Wills got some news' he announced upon finishing the call and actually
noticing I was in the house.

'Was just chatting with Dad. It did not go how I thought but it could be
better I think. He owns the place I live in up there and wants to be more
active in that part of his business as he hardly travels up that far to
check it out. Which means his position here would be vacant and he wants me
to do that rather than just the physical stuff in the bush. It means I wont
get to go into the bush as often but I get to run the place and get paid
twice as much. What do you think?'

'I think the idea is good. The decision is yours; I know how you treasure
the bush. Just means we'll have to spend more time at the hut exploring. Go
hunting, we can keep your bushman levels up. Would you enjoy being in
charge of people?' I asked

'Ah fuck yes it would be mint. We're gonna have a sweet life with your pay
and my new pay' he was excited like he just with all his heart wanted to
happen now.

'What did he say about the fact that you were moving in with me?' curiosity
took the better

'That if you were letting me move in we must be in love because he thinks
you rarely act without correct cause' Brad laughed before I could.

'Holy shit, well, my Messiah frequency is being picked up. That is good'

'Come get into bed Messiah, morning snuggles'

I took everything off and jumped on him naked pulling off his undies we had
a raging play fight where I just wriggled out of all of his holds. Naked
bodies pressing against each other as we writhed stirred our dicks to full
attention.

'Look what you did' I said in reference to my now rock hard cock

'Look what YOU did' he said pointing to the precum drip

Falling onto my back I exhaled 'What are we going to do about this?'

Brad was just staring at me almost drooling. Get yourself together boy.

'Well this is what I think. I think now that we know for sure I am moving
down and that am gonna be the boss and get paid more it's special enough
knowing I'm starting a life with you to maybe make love'

I had long ago decided to go with Brad's decisions when it came to actual
sex because it was his first time and he wanted it to be special because it
was with me.

'Sure babe if you wanna. We're both hard as hell' I replied

This would be nice. I would bottom the first time, we all know taking a
dick ain't that great the first time so he would be able to enjoy it.

Sliding a condom over his cock I rested a knee on either side of his hips
letting his cock slowly sinking into my ass. Rhythmically moving up and
down with right twists and turns I rode his cock slowly until the tensing
of his muscles told me he was about to cum. Still riding his cock but
harder and faster I bent down filling his mouth with mine kissing him for
all I was worth as he convulsed pulsing blast after blast of cum into the
condom his dick throbbing in my ass.

We stayed that way until Brad's dick was soft and I flipped off his chest
and threw the condom out lying back down beside him.

'That is the best thing that has ever happened to my dick. I can't even' he
said

'...That's something I get to do now. Holy Shit. Luckiest guy'

'...Did you cum? You wanna switch and fuck me?' this manliest of men asked
me.

'Nah B it's all-good your happiness is mine. Besides that was your first
time, it was about you. You'll get your chance to go on bottom don't even
worry about that'

'Sweet cause I hear it can be pretty fun too once you get into it' he said

'Where did you hear that pray tell?'

Quiet for a bit thinking 'You know, like in porn movies guys taking dick
always enjoy it as much as guy giving it'

True enough I guess. I hated bottoming to begin with but like anything if
you stick with it and let yourself accept it without fighting, just
relaxing, it is fucking amazing.

'After 25 years of waiting for the right guy and the right time I got you
and all of this. This is legitimate dream to real life shit Wills'

The way he said you made me melt a bit. Yeah, completely melt. Yet I
remained composed.

'I'm glad how your life is working out for you' I said

Flinging his arms into the air 'What? That is all you have to say to all of
that?'

'Well the way I see it B is that if your life wasn't working out this way,
if you hadn't decided to visit our hut that night and motion me outside
none of the amazing things that happened after would have happened. My life
has become increasingly amazing along with yours which is why I can say I
am glad how your life is working out for you. Because it's working out in
my favour quite dramatically as well as your own.'

'You've always been so fucking well spoken Wills, none of the bush boys
could ever understand half the words you used in conversation. I can
comprehend most of them only because I enjoy reading'

'Thanks B, I am good with words I guess. However that is beside the point,
we have today what shall we do with it?'

Pulling into a tight big-little spoon hug and kissing my neck he whispered
a list of shockingly kinky things we could get up to.

'Spend all day in bed sexing it up you say?'

'Hell yes' he replied

'...we can have some breakfast then we'll try it the other way around'

Feeling his dick against my ass he already hard again. Following his lead
in things related to new sexual experiences I agreed and slid out of his
arms to make us a NutriBullet each for breakfast plus some bacon for Brad -
he needed some meat.

It was sunny enough to drink/eat on the deck so that is how it went. Just
normal talk about 'stuff'.

Inside and music pumping Brad carried me back into the bedroom.

'Let's fuck' he announced so casually it seemed like daily conversation.

Winking he added 'Or should I say let's have you fuck me. Be careful with
that beast cock of yours though'

'Will do B, your in good hands'

'I know Wills, I'm nervous but excited it keeps switching. Either way,
you're the only person that will ever get to fuck Brad Taylor'

And I would fuck him, slow at first but when he was into the feeling it
would be balls deep and he'd be moaning for more. That's the way it always
was when I fucked and when I was fucked.

I was not one to use my fingers in my or anyone else's ass as I didn't
believe fingers should go there, you touch your face and food with
them. Your dick has protection and if not it isn't touching your face and
food so I had no problem with that.

Brad would be getting pure cock nothing more nothing less.

Laying on his back Brad looked up at me stroking his dick 'Well bring it
big W'

So I did.  Slowly feeling the tightness of his hole against the pressing
tip of my cock I slid inside his warm ass. Bit by bit deeper and
deeper. After a few minutes of slow pumping in and out mixed with kisses
Brad was moaning. My cock was on fire with electric ecstasy. Brad came on
his chest as I finished off cock still deep his ass.

'Shit, sweet butt B' I said moving to take my dick out of ass and lie
beside him. He stopped.

'Nah stay there for a bit it feels good, man Wills that dick you got is
pretty big - seriously' Brad said

I was used to my dick so it didn't look big to me. It was just there the
way it was, never really thought about it. Anyway, it was still in Brad's
ass - he'd apparently discovered quite quickly the pleasures of
bottoming. Maybe it's my massive cock I thought to myself laughing out
loud.

'I guess, so you liked it?' I asked

'Yeah...fuck yeah. It was amazing, so intense and powerful but n a
different way to fucking' he said.

'Yeah that about sums it up' I replied

'Now we can role-play' Brad said

This boy was one surprise after another.

'How so?' I asked

He looked at me like I was missing the most obvious point ever made 'As in
we can make believe who we and fuck that way'

That much was already obvious.

'Your fantasy first' he said smiling all wicked.

'My fantasy huh? Hmmm, well...I guess I do have a thing for American Grid
Iron and red clothes on a guy'

Brad was up and off the bed 'I've got my red Crusader's game shirt I use
for rugby training in the Ute and red rugby shorts - that fit the bill
enough'

'Yeah that definitely fits the bill B go get them' - he was gone halfway
through the sentence. Bounding back into the kitted out in his red rugby
gear that hugged tight enough to show hints of the muscle beneath.

'Like?' he asked

He was way to fucking attractive at that moment for me to do anything but
look at him so I just did that and remained silent.

Chuckling to himself 'You really do have a thing for guys wearing red
sports gear'

Nodding I kept taking in all his impossible gorgeous features until he'd
had enough standing there like a model.

'Seein as we're role playin you but that tight runnin gear on and we'll
flow from there' he said

I slipped into my running gear which still lay beside the bed.

'This is gonna be fun' Brad said taking me in with his eyes.

'Fuck yeah, always liked the idea of being fucked by a rugby player wearing
red'

'So I'm on top then, bring that svelte body over here my man'

To explain what followed would involve describing legs, arms and cocks
moving in so many directions in such a large array of ways that the best
sex of my life would become boring.

Brad's sweat could be seen through his rugby shirt, I remained sweatless. I
could smell him musky sweaty man smell - they should bottle it as a comfort
solution for guys who missed their bloke bloke.

'That took the sex outta me for today Wills. I think. That's to good not to
do again but fuck I am fucked' he fell back onto the bed.

Resting my head on his chest I let myself synchronise my heartbeat with
his. That had indeed been the most passionate love infused hot as hell sex
I'd ever had. I was mentally enjoying the sweet after-feelings being so
close to Brad.

'Is it always THAT good?' he asked out of the blue

'I can always be that good Brad and it can be better even. Though I gotta
say that was the sex I have had in my entire life. Gospel truth to the
choir singers of Louisiana' I said

'REALLY? THAT was the best sex? WITH ME?' he was so shocked he sat up my
head falling off his chest.

Looking down into my eyes he waited for an answer;

'It was. Truth. I have had no better sex than that. The fact I'm in love
with you and you are so passionate and intimate and close fuck it makes it
like a different kind of sex all together'

'Making love Wills - maybe I can teach you a few things' Brad said

Making love. That's what it was. That's what we did and that's what made
the difference.

'You know B I actually think I could. You're wild and masculine but you
hold me and kiss me with this kind of passionate tenderness that is
addictive' I said

'Wills you're making this wild masculine guy go red in face which reminds
me you must take your lunch pills and I must make lunch'

That he even knew I lunch pills was something new. Actually pills at all. I
took 24 in the morning, 2 mid morning, 4 at lunch, 2 mid after noon and 6
at night. I will not digress into why I had to take so much medication. I'm
sure you'll find out further on; still I was pondering how he knew the
minutiae of it.

'Read all your pill containers in case you forget to take them cause we all
know you get caught up in that brilliant mind of yours' he said from the
lounge knowing I would be curious.

'You are a thoughtful person Brad' I said

'Maybe or maybe it's you; you make me feel and do things I haven't ever
felt or done before. I've always been me but you without even meaning to
have made me better person by making me so happy. Plus I love you and it is
my purpose to protect you'

'And you say the sweetest things in that manly voice. I'ma keep you'

'Good. Because I'm keeping you and it would be weird it was as a prisoner'
Brad laughed to himself.

'Bradley have you been reading 50 Shades of Grey?'

'No William I read books not fan fiction' he said with all of the English
privileged accent he could muster.

'Good, because you know I am completely out of anyone's control' I replied

'The creators themselves know that bro, you're a special kind of human if
that's even what you are' his last words were mock suspicion. Kind of made
me laugh a bit. If that's even what you are.

'I am the Messiah Bradley Taylor, I assume that is why I seem otherworldly
and often godlike to you humans'

'Oooookay now get out of bed take your pills and we'll talk face to face
instead of hollering'

I did as he asked. Both because he asked and because I was bored of being
sprawled in bed by myself. I put my red blanket cape on for extra warmth
despite the fact it was midday.

Brad chuckled 'You look like a count or baron or some shit Wills. Always a
surprise'

'I need warmth surrounding me at all time or I will begin to shake, you
see' I held a shaky hand out in front on him. He simply kissed it and
wrapped it up in my blanket cape.

'You know, that could be an I've just been magnificently fucked by a rugby
player shake' he added

'Oh it could be though I imagine you'll be fucking me magnificently for a
very long time and I shake like this every day. Could be doubles shakes, oh
shit B, double shake man'

'You need to get high' he said '...cruisy high, not blazed. Now have your
Nutribullet'

Bah this man and incessant feeding me of nourishing things. Yeah I would
have done it myself but it made me feel firstly like I was being looked
after by the man I loved and secondly to be honest like a kid yet the
latter only because I was so completely used to calling my own shots and
doing everything by myself my own way without help.

Gulping the contents Brad shuddered as he watched;

'I watched you make your one the other night; carrot, capsicum, kale,
broccoli, cucumber, celery, pumpkin, avocado oil, black cumin seed oil,
turmeric, paprika, beetroot, cauliflower and leek. That honestly must be
one the single most disgusting beverages a human could consume other than
liquid dump which it kinda looks like' Brad stated with authority.

I look up at him 'Sweet face, yes it tastes unpleasant but the mental and
intellectual knowledge of what good it's all doing for my body far
outweighs anything as something as simple as taste. Body is a temple'

'Hmm well your skin is kinda like bright almost radiant and you never walk
you almost glide. Maybe when I'm living with you I'll force just one of
those concoctions down a day instead of four like you. Plus I have to join
my old rugby club down here so it might give me a boost. You seem able to
run marathon distances with ridiculous ease'

'It's extremely good for you. However the Nutribullet matters not at this
time, what matters is spending the rest of the day with you' I said

'How about I take you swimming up the river?' he offered

It seemed like an awesome idea and I was down for it. Plus I enjoyed the
way he said take you swimming. I knew exactly what kind of swimming he had
in mind. Bradley had his ways.


The swimming hole at the river was free of other people and swollen from
previous rain but the heat of the sun made up for initial chill of the
water. Brad took me in his arms and walked me into the water holding me as
gentle as if I was a baby.

'Shit fuck motherfucker this be chilly B' I shivered.

'That's why I'm holding you babe; use up my warmth there. Just for you
though' Brad soothed holding me tighter. God his arms were so strong and
the feeling of them around me in the water was beyond blissful. Brad swam
us across to the other side of the swimming hole where there were some
rocks to lean against. I was literally being taken for a swim, I was in no
way swimming myself. '

Brad oh Brad. He loved it on so many levels. He loved the fact he was
holding me and in that particular protective way that he always did, he
loved the fact that our bodies were pressed together and he loved that he
was directing the flow of activities. It was written all over his face the
profound sense of ecstasy that he was feeling. Just swishing through the
water with me I his arms.

Lying against the rocks with myself resting back between Brad's legs and
himself stretched out backwards.

'I quite like holding you Wills' Brad said all of the sudden.

'You do it so well B. It is exquisite being in your arms, completely
beautiful'

'Yeah they fit around you like those rings you see that lock into each
other perfectly' Brad said

A beautiful simile. Fuck it. I didn't swear much, well I did swear on
occasion verbally and frequently in my mind but that fucking God damn
smiling had it's own electricity. Maybe I was just especially susceptible
to it because I was obviously in love with the boy but when ever it got
flashed in public people still stumbled their words.

'You know what I like other than that utterly ridiculously perfect smile
you have? The way you say in the most casually masculine way the most sweet
romantic things, I know I've said it before. But B it is extremely
attractive'

I couldn't see his face so had no idea of his expression anymore. But he
still had a response.

'I dunno when I am with you Wills I say the truth about how I feel and
those words that I say I don't chose them to sound or be that way. They
flow like this river from a deeper source'

'Bradley, I don't know what to say'

He sat up immediately 'YOU don't know what to say. Ha therefore I have a
power the power to overcome your ability to have something quirky, funny or
intelligent to say about every single utterance a human being could
produce. I win'

'Yeah you have left me at a loss for words at least in regards to that
statement because I am speaking now'

'I still win. Ah the sweet feeling of leaving someone so articulate and
fluent so speechless'

'I am speaking though' I said

'Yeah I know but the point remains Wills'

I let him have his glory if that's what you'd call it. He could have all he
liked as him leaving me speechless was no problem of mine in fact it was
the opposite. The melody of his manly voice and the words mixed into this
flawless cacophony of romantic indulgence in my brain and body.

'You see maybe it is the fact that I quite enjoy the idea that you leave me
speechless because it seems every time you do it is with something
unbelievably sweet'

'Cause I am sweet. You know like those toffee bricks; sweet, hard and chewy
at the end'

'Babe if I chewed it at the end you'd not be pleased'

'Nah Wills chewy as in gooey when you know me like you or basically are
you. You're the only one that gets that part out of me'

He did have that soft gooey romantic incredibly sweet side to him that you
would never not for the slightest flicker of a moment think he had upon
looking at him.

'Oh we're having dinner with my folks tonight' I stated

Brad's legs contracted slightly 'Oh yeah. Sounds fun. Shit I don't have a
proper shirt just jeans a singlet left that are still clean'

I could not help but laugh 'Jesus Brad you know my parents especially Dad,
he'll be stoned eating dinner on the sofa and Mum will be on her MacBook
looking at whatever she looks at asking us mother questions of which
neither of us need to fear'

'Yeah true, that's pretty much exactly how it'd be' he started chuckling
along with me.


Getting home was great. The river was freezing despite Brad's ample warmth
and we didn't do much swimming just laying about wrapped up in each other
so my body didn't really heat up and the water sucked the warmth out faster
than Brad's body could put it back in.

I made a Nutribullet for myself immediately not bothering for Brad. Two a
day was shock enough to his body. I did make him one with homemade coconut
honey yoghurt, blueberries, raspberries, kiwifruit and banana in which he
took to like a week long dehydrated island human. Yeah there were sugars in
it but they were natural and there was a large amount of goodness.

Brad would be leaving the next day and our three night two and two bit day
honeymoon like weekend would be over until the next one. When the man would
be moving in. Literally. Lucky for our situation though my house was filled
with quirky eccentric knick knacks it was still very sparse in terms of
furniture and overall typically large household objects people had like a
dining room table and chairs. I had neither just a, empty dining room, it
would be easy to fit Brad's copious amount of furniture and other
belongings into his new home. I did live a lot like a monk but I was happy
to change it up for Brad.

He, I guess like many hundreds of millions of people of people out there,
had this thing where he would bite his bottom lip for one of two
reasons. The first being he was worried about something and the second he
wanted to ask me something but was embarrassed. Sometimes both. I
digress. He was biting his lip before my very sparkly green eyes and I
would find out why.

'What's on you're mind my man?' I asked casually adding no extra
innotations in any direction.

'Funny you ask bro. It's the weirdest thing. I actually feel worried about
going back to work, you know? Well no you wouldn't like I mean it at this
very fucking moment. I am not like worried about work itself I'm worried
what work is forcing me to leave. I don't wanna be away from you even for a
few days'

It wasn't only his continuous almost barrage of perfection but the fact
when I asked him what was on his mind or something similar he would
willingly, openly, freely and lovingly share with me. I'd never experienced
that in a guy other than myself before it was remarkable that I was blessed
enough to have him be so completely in love with me.

'Just give them a doctors certificate for the last two weeks of you
contract siting stress and underlying depression causing the move and move
in with me properly two weeks early while still getting paid' I said simply
after all it was simple.

Brad scoffed 'Wills your smart but that is the dumbest idea I have ever
heard. My doctor is five hours away, I have no doctor that remembers me in
Thames and even if I got an appointment with a doctor they won't just write
me out a certificate for two weeks. Maybe a few days'

'Really?' I said in mock surprise flipping the screen of my MacBook and
logging into the Hospital's Intranet looking for the Medical Certificate
Employee and ACC forms filling them out on the computer and every now and
then asking Brad random questions like driver license number etc eventually
completely him a certificate and organising the ACC. Emailing a scanned and
verified copy to his boss in Whangarei I had sorted it out before finishing
my post Nutribullet one litre of water.

'What the fuck was that about b? Driver's license number?' Brad was more
than a little curious

'Babe you know how I can write prescriptions?' I said '...and they get
filled because even though I'm a registrar I'm still a doctor?'

He nodded fully understanding but waiting for the kicker.

'I wrote you a fucking fully template legitimate employee medical
certificate and ACC certificate for two weeks and emailed them to your boy
in Whangarei''

Brad heaved air out of his mouth like he was vomiting invisible glitter.

'I don't have to leave you.' He stopped and rested back against the wall
breathing out in a slow deep breath and closing his eye letting his head
drop.

'Nah, you stuck with me boy'

'Good. That is the way it should be. Ha I can only imagine what you wrote
as I don't actually want to know but can't help trying to think of anyway'

'Well maybe there are perks to being with a doctor, even if you are still
technically in training you can write medical certificates and
prescriptions. That is doctor to me'

'What are the perks to my job I wonder?' he asked openly to the universe.

'Firstly you your dad as your boss and he is sweet, you'd never have been
able to move as smoothly and transfer if it was someone else as your
boss. Besides you work in an extremely physical environment look at your
body it shows'

Brad was laughing away 'The body gets you aye Wills, you can be as detached
and Buddhist as you like but B's body is what you like yeah it is you can't
resist'

'I agree, it's kinda hypnotising. The fact it's your body makes it fucking
like cosmic especially like watching your abs as you talk. You're a mess of
excruciating attractiveness Bradley'

I could feel him blush without seeing it.

'Look at yourself William, if we're using full names now and rambling cause
I feel like rambling. You with your own perfect grace shrouded by your
peaceful calm totally dethatched energy are so either peacefully absent at
mind or totally consumed at mind that you fail to ever notice how many
people look at you. With lust and passion and want and jealousy but with
you there is awe. People see you and feel awe amongst the sledge hammer of
beauty you emanate with every step. Your eyes shine out the beauty inside
because you are profoundly open to all people and care about helping
everyone. You have perfect beauty. It shines so brightly from inside you it
is a light to everything physically beautiful about you shining through
you're fucking skin'

Brad finished his speech and I reattached myself to the situation as half
way through as I had to detach lest be so caught up in his words I was
speechless a second time.

'Thank you B, you know if you speak like that all the time I'm going to
have to call you strawberry mouth'

'No fucking way William, you get the sweet stuff because you and you alone
make me gooey inside. And other than that nope. No strawberry mouth, what
the fuck? Did you just randomly come up with that?'

I shrugged 'Well yeah I did but only so that I could hear that normal husky
voice defending itself'

Brad was all swirly eyed 'Husky voice huh? I can make it huskier if you
would like'

'B any huskier and Discover Channel would be at the door wanting to make a
reality TV show about you' I said

His mouth and face screwed up as he rested his feet on the coffee table.

'William I am in no way that kind of toothless unbathed for over a decade
deep voiced kind of person you see on that channel. I have all my teeth, a
pretty good vocabulary and shower every day.' Brad said. He was actually a
bit offended; the denotation in his speaking made it obvious. It was never
my intention to offend just to mock Discovery Channel.

I always considered Brad as a mans man. He was my all counts and measures
one of the most masculine people I knew. Yet he had such a sweet soft and
frequently romantic side to him that the two contrasting sides often left
me sitting in awe. Watching this gorgeous guy flawlessly defined by his
beautiful face, bulging muscles and swirling eyes was an experience unto
itself but when combined with the sweet flow of word that so often gushed
forth from his mouth it was paralysing.

'Bradley Taylor calm your boots, it was just a joke'

'Yeah I know, though I am surprised you didn't laugh. You laugh at most all
your crazy ass jokes' he said

'I was thinking'

Brad sighed 'I know. How is it that you think so much you can't laugh any
more?'

I shrugged 'I'll have to think about it' then burst into deep hysterical
laughter. I was in love with two people. Brad and myself.

He started laughing too 'You are off the chain'

I snuggled into him on the couch 'You do it for me Brad. In everyway that I
need doing.'

He chuckled 'Like I know what you mean by that as a general statement but
to be honest as soon as you said I need doing I got hard and now well shall
we?'

'We shall' I announced launching from the sofa landing delicately on one
foot and leaning forward to stretch my legs finger then palms touching the
floor.

'You tease Wills. Do you realise how unearthly hot you look with your lil
bubble butt'

'Thanks B, yeah I'm pretty good looking I guess. Though looks do not matter
to me I am grateful for the appearance I was given'

'No no Wills pretty good-looking people are common you are to me at least
perfection right here in flesh and blood. But hey let us not sit here and
go on turn after turn how attractive each other is.'

That was true we would just go on about each other trying to verbally outdo
one another. Though it wasn't typical of me to dwell of partners gone it
was certainly not something that occurred with Mason, the last guy I was
with. His communication skills almost ceased to exist entirely - verbally
at least. He was always one for showing affection physically with romantic
gestures and such. In the end I am a talker of everything and I needed at
least some of that back in a partner. One of the many things that eventual
cracked our relationship to pieces. All of the problems were either due to
the fact that fundamentally we could not connect or ultimately did not want
the same things - no matter how much I kidded myself otherwise. I still
talked to Mason most weeks because as a person, a human being, he was one
of the most decent I had ever encountered on the deepest level. Not someone
I wanted out of my life all together and as we both found after a few
months of healing we were far better friends. We thrived as friends because
we could enjoy all that we did love about each other personality wise
without the continual burden of romantic commitment and it's entangling web
of conflicts it had brought us near the end. Both of us were in better
places. I, being me, had devoted so much of who I was to Mason that I had
lost my own identity and stopped doing things I liked and that kept me
mentally well. He had lost touch with his close friends and was now happily
thriving in his circle of friends again finding what he had lost.

Brad was unaware that I kept in touch with Mason. Not because I
specifically chose it to be so simply because he to me it seemed had made a
point of not engaging in conversation about exes. Which I admired, jealousy
was at times for me a huge turn on yet with exes there was no need. They
were called exes for a reason and were the past. Mason an exception but one
that I would happily discuss and compromise with Brad should he have
reservations. Mason himself was in a relationship, which added another
layer of buffering to the situation. As I pondered why I was pondering this
Brad kissed my forehead.

'I wouldn't even want to guess what you are thinking about, but you can
tell me if it's bothering you' he said

'Well, it's not bothering me however you are more than welcome to know if
you wish' I said

'Sure hit me' he replied

'I was contemplating the fact I still communicate most weeks with my ex
Mason and how he is quite a good friend and how you may or may not react to
said information should you ever come across it'

'Mason is the one you were with for four years before me, right?' Brad
asked

'Yeah?'

'And you are mates with him?'

'Yes' I said

'I don't know him Wills but I do know you and he must have some redeemable
qualities if you choose to be friends with him. I don't know him so I can't
formulate a basis of trust but I trust you and that is far more than
enough. You could be friends with my nemesis and I would still trust you
Wills. So you can assume my opinion on this as all good' Brad said

I was smiling 'I already did B, if I thought you would react badly I would
have told you outright so we could deal with it'

'But you said may or may not react so you must have been wondering' he
replied

'I did wonder, I could never know exactly what you would do upon hearing
that. But I know you too and trust you. Mason has a partner so do I. We are
long very long past ever wanting to be back together'

'Good' Brad clapped his hands getting up. I couldn't remember him being
seated.

'...cause we are each others now. So be it.''

My phone started ringing. It was Mum so I decided to dance to the ringtone,
which was Thunderstruck by AC/DC until it finished then ring her back. I
chose not to have a voicemail so you could continue ringing as log as you
liked without the voicemail cutting you off and Mum always rung for an
extended period of time giving me the chance to strip my shirt off and
dance longer. Brad chuckled to himself watching me drinking in my body with
his eyes.

'Will that was your mother you should answer your phone' Brad said

'She just wants to know if we're going to be calling in for dinner' I
replied putting my jersey back on.

'I have a medical certificate, fuck it all I am sick' Brad said immediately
'...I do not feel I can eat'. He was eating at the time.

'You do not feel you can eat?' I asked while texting Mum a confirmation.

Shaking his head 'Nope, I cannot. However I feel I could maybe suck
something'

'Well you know. I am feeling particularly suckable' I said

'You look it. Come bring that dick of yours over here just remember it's
huge and I'm new at this' Brad said

He was lying on my Freudian sofa with an arm stretched out in my direction
'Babe it's hardly like I'm just gonna ram it down your throat, do what you
did before or whatever you like just don't bite. Too hard' I said with a
wink

He nurtured my cock sucking it and pumping it with his lips and tongue
until finally I blasted him a mouthful of cum. He never hesitated to
swallow what my cock delivered.

'You know, your cum it tastes different than I imagined. I think I thought
it was going to be like salty but it tastes like banana smoothie'

Once my mind gathered itself I replied 'Maybe I should wank more and bottle
it'

Brad was most offended 'What the fuck Wills? The only human on this earth
that will ever be tasting that for the rest of your life is me'

In a strange way I felt warm and bubbly hearing him say that despite its
sexual nature. I felt warm and bubbly a lot lately. A nice feeling I
thought to myself. To be having often.

'You know, you can actually die from a broken heart, so to speak. It
happens often to elderly couples that have to been together for decades,
often one will pass away and the absence is so strong in the remaining
partner that they soon pass away too'

Brad smiled 'You know I think I would die without you'

'Well B you have lived without me for a while, maybe if I died now I think
you would live' I said. I shuddered mentally at how I verbally vacuumed the
deep romantic sentiment out of what Brad had said.

Brad was deflated but only temporarily 'That is true, but you keep yourself
alive very well Wills. And I'll be protecting the fuck out of you. So in 70
years time if you died before me I really do think I would die not long
after. If I died well you would probably live just because you are so
supremely healthy'

After but a few seconds of profound existential contemplation I realised
the truth of what I had said to begin with. If indeed Brad and I did make
it to that age together and he passed before I my soul would follow him
regardless of how healthy my body might be. Who really knows anyway? What I
did know is that after that much time - all those years and memories - I
would follow him into the unknown. With things like this we'd just have to
wait and see.

'I can't figure out a way to smoothly articulate something that encompasses
both my response and my beliefs about what you said B. But I don't think it
would matter how healthy I am my soul would follow yours wherever it went'
I said

''Wills, that is about as beautiful of a response as a bloke could get' he
said kissing me with enough fiery passion to scare Australia further away
from New Zealand.

'Good cause that conversation was going places too deep even I could not be
bothered right at this time going to' I said

Brad laughed away as much as he could while kissing me again 'You, not
wanting to continue a existential talk with possible discussion on recent
quantum theory research?'

I sighed half-heartedly because he was absolutely true to be surprised; I
thrived upon conversation deep and varied. However in this case my mental
power was half what it usually was and I would rather cuddle than engage in
discourse.

'B didn't know you kept up with quantum theory' I said

'I told you, I read. Quite a lot I guess and quite a lot of different
things. Most of the reason I could always understand you when you were
taking the piss out the drunk swamp blokes whose vocabulary is still in
primary school' Brad said casually.

I attempted to shocked 'Brad that is a hideous stereotype. Yet considerably
accurate'

'You know Wills for such a peaceful natured bloke you did take the piss out
of them in some pretty brutal ways. You totally emasculated Spinner in one
sentence when you were 10 and he had no idea what you meant. The only
person laughing other than you and I was your Dad' he said it with this
blissful nostalgic look his face.

'You know one of the aspects of you as an individual that I loved most back
then is that even when you were five none of those swamp blokes scared
you. I dunno why but they used to freak the fuck out of me because they'd
always turn up in cammo with a boat full of dead ducks and guns slung over
their shoulders already half pissed. They would yell at you from the boat
like you were an adult and you would yell back the same way taking their
grappling hook and hooking their boat up so they could come up. I hated
doing that being around them and now I kinda am one in a way. Not like
those fullas but a swamp bloke none the less. The thing is you always
helped them yet the moment they disrespected you and even me, because I
would be with you wherever you were, you would in the most brutally
beautiful casual way annihilate the foundations of who they were mocking
their very existence on earth. And they just had no idea because of how
eloquent and articulate and precise and also because of how incredibly
expansive your vocabulary was even at that age. Many times I would stare at
them wondering if they could be so lacking in the mind as to not understand
what was being said but never. I do remember you hated the bush at night
because as you said possums perch when the lights go out B and I shall not
be having them perch near me' Brad exhaled finishing his very well spoken
retelling of events past with his own emotional additions. It made me
quasi-blush thinking back then, even way the fuck back then he loved things
about me.

'I do remember that exact saying B, repeated frequently however I remember
you getting me to go with you possum shooting most every night anyway. And
to be honest the bush at night with it's perching possums was never scary
with you anyway'

I swear guys, well blokey guys do this thing where when they hear something
that bolsters their pride they every so slightly puff their chest out as if
to say 'YUS I AM CHAMPION'. I'd seen it a few times not enough to make a
conclusive argument, I mean this is not a thesis, but Brad well he did do
it. And he did it just now with a happy little grin on face. A teasing
grin.

'Yeah only because I had a gun' he stated sounding as serious as he
possibly could.

I shrugged 'Well obviously, I mean you couldn't really take on a possum
bare handed it would shred you up. Possibly blind or even castrate you,
give you TB or chlamydia - they carry that you know or is that koalas?'

Eyes popping 'I can kill anything. I can kill a possum bare handed you just
break the neck. I'll prove it, we'll go possum hunting barehanded tonight'

'Babe that idea is filled with so much logical cohesion I may weep but how
the fuck do you plan on catching the thing' I said

He thought a bit then stated 'We'll set a trap then I'll get it the next
day and kill it' I had to laugh 'Oh in the name of Talandrya my favourite
make believe African American friend Bradley you dick I cannot be fucked
trapping a possum so you can prove something we both know you can do over a
tease you started when we know full well I meant you not the gun. I would
have you protecting me any day with or without a gun because I know that
for some peculiar reason you would do absolutely anything even give your
own life to protect and save mine'

Brad shook his head still with a small smile this time warm and knowing
'Wills it isn't a peculiar reason. It is because I am in love with you. In
this insanely short time of being back in my life you are my life. Is it
not obvious that I would want to protect you for those reasons? Not for
some peculiar reasons'

'Sweet baked goods of Victoria street. God I have god to stop impersonating
sassy Black woman my voice is too deep. Anyway. No I know B. Sometimes it
seems unbelievable that you love me that much. I know I love me that much
but that's me, I either love myself or hate myself. The former is by far
the better option. As much as my medication and meditation holds me
together upstairs the odd ball of doubt does bounce it's way around my
mind'

'Well you love me that much right? So you can understand. I know you would
do the same for me without you even having to say it' Brad said

'Yes B, fuck yes I love you that much and more and obviously I would give
my life to protect you in the flicker of a heartbeat. But look at you? You
are together; you've always been together. You are far more attractive than
should realistically be allowed on this planet. And don't get me wrong I am
not self hating here but I have been destroyed and rebuilt myself so many
times that I have lost count and with my illness it's just enjoying the
time until the next explosion. It's a lot easier to love you than it is to
love me from an outsider's point of view'

'William you dumbass for once you have contradicted yourself. You aren't
and never will be an outsider looking in at you. You would not possibly
fathom how I see you. Every time you break you grow back together, why in
the name of fuck do you think you are so unexplainably profound and wise
for you age. Your sickness has devastated most of your life but this
fucking epic human in front of me now is what has grown from all of the
horrific shit. Whenever the next time comes that you have an episode I'll
be here and we'll both grow from it and every time after it will be
easier. I'll know how to help, what to do. You, you're like a tree with so
many branches each branch so thick with other branches you cant see the
trunk. There is so much more to you because of all that has happened to you
and as a Psychiatrist the help you offer is so much more significant and
insightful'

I cried all the time, for things that made me cry. Rarely from deep within
my soul. I let my head slide over the couch and rest on Brad's shoulder and
let the tears flow strongly silently down my cheeks. Hearing not just from
a therapist, psychiatrist or other outsider but hearing it from Brad made
it real. All of it. I knew he was in love with and loved me. But hearing
that made it so real.

Brad pulled me into a hug that lasted as long as my tears. It was a big
deal for me when it can to any kind of relationship romantic or otherwise
my sicknesses. I disliked the stigma and the weight people often it
unnecessarily placed on them. Not so with this one. Brad was different. As
was I.

'That was coming from a deep place Wills, you Ok babe?' Brad asked still
holding me into himself.

I blinked a few tear free blinks and breathed a few labour free breaths
'Yeah, I guess sometimes you're almost too good to be true'

'...if you weren't hugging me so tightly it wouldn't be hard to put this
down to one massive manic episode' I said

Brad laughed a little 'Well ma crazy little fulla it's definitely
real. Because you make me feel especially real. Besides babe you need to
drink some more water and eat you're getting that wiped out medicated look
in your eyes'

'I'll have a NutriBullet' I replied with the energy of a piece of tissue
paper.

Brad looked at me and shook his head 'No, you need some real food. I'll
make you omelette and you drink your water' his tone was serious and
carried an authority I had never heard before and specifically directed at
me. My natural response to such an order of sorts would be to do what I
like and disregard the instructions. But Brad was serious and I was taken
aback enough to comply while introspecting on the nature of it all.

Did I like this controlling type of language and behaviour? Well if I was
honest with myself, yes I did - to a point. But up to that point I more
than liked it, I loved it. Yet my inbuilt automatic response was always to
do what I wanted despite what anyone on this earth said. The mixture of
being told what to do by Brad and doing it stirred a plethora of new
feelings up. For some reason I felt safer knowing that he wasn't afraid to
just tell me what to do because given certain circumstances that is what
needed to be done but in an even more peculiar way I liked a small amount
of possessiveness in guys. I always carried within me such large wells of
mental and spiritual strength that push come to shove if I did not want to
do it I wouldn't - having the decision making taken away was such an aching
blissful feeling. Less thought pressure in my own head and Brad well fuck
he loved dealing with all of it, taking it all in his stride like it was no
more than an extra breath.

Making sure I finished all of my water and omelette Brad cleaned up and
returned to the couch resting his head back on my crotch.

Laughing in his half-roar I'm relaxed laugh he said in mock shock 'Jesus
Armand Christ are you always hard'

I shrugged 'Have you seen yourself? Can't blame me, it you. Too hot'

Brad slowly lifted the bottom of his t-shirt up and my dick quite literally
got harder immediately. He had that effect on me. Always keeping my dick
hard simply by being near. Besides that ordering me around kinda helped
things get going.

'You know what else was getting me hard, it could be kinky I guess maybe a
little bit Fifty Shades but whatever it get me hard as?' I said leading on
to tell Brad. I knew he would love it all too much and use it to his
advantage at every opportunity. In fact telling him was like giving him a
weapon to use over me at any time - but the results - we'll they were why I
was telling him.

His turned excitedly looking me in the eye his own glowing almost red with
passion and furious sexual angst 'What? Tell me?'

Casually as if this was he most normal of conversations I spoke 'It's
rather difficult to explain without making it seem like I demeaning my own
being in the process however I am not, I am fully aware of my value and
that will not change. Nevertheless you telling me what to do, making
decisions for me - controlling me to a point turns me the fuck on'

'Sweet Jesus from your own mouth. You like that I'm controlling? Most
people hate that about me - and it turn you on? If you say so. Get in the
fucking bedroom you sweet ass boyfriend of mine and we'll see what we can
do' Brad said the last bit with his trademark masculine authority

I didn't leave immediately 'Realise this B, I like those things about
you. Ultimately I will always do what I want to'

Brad laughed 'Of course you will, you wouldn't be you if you didn't. Now
get the fuck in bedroom'

Smiling slyly at him I stripped before the bedroom and announced I'd just
wank instead, save some time.

'You and your body are mine to do with as I please William, just lie there
and wait. Oh wait, actually...' he walked into the bedroom still clothed
with a red tie he used for formal rugby events '...I'm gonna put this on
and you are to lie back and not move. Ok Wills? The only actions or words I
want to see or hear are those I ask for otherwise just lie back and enjoy
the ride'

Wondering just what I had gotten myself into in such a short period of time
AND before dinner with my parents I tightened the blindfolded and rested my
head back waiting in silence.

Kisses with pure love intent and gentle swirls of the tongue against my
skin brought sighs and moans from my mouth and slight writhings from my
body to which Brad would shake his head and say 'Still'. How the fuck he
expected to stay still with the sheer delicate nature and sweet softness of
his kisses all over my body building up sensations and waking up nerves
everywhere until all at once my entire dick was engulfed in his mouth.

I came all at once as soon as my dick was in his mouth. He swallowed it all
like his favourite milkshake and grinned fucking massive at me.

'Mother fucker, you fucked of over 200 blokes and that' Brad said so
impressed with himself.

The amount of sheer torturous pleasure I had to endure until the end was
almost not worth it but then it all of the sudden was. Shit.

'Hey I told you that turned me on, but I gotta say you are particularly
adept at building the tension. Never ever had an explosion happen so
quickly before'

Brad licked his lips 'You know it seems that despite the fact you have had
quite a considerable amount of sexual liaisons in the past the Bradster has
already managed to provide you with a few firsts and even in your own words
the best sex I have ever had.'

'Brad it has already been proven quite evident that you are the exception
to most of my umm well life actually so while profoundly enjoyable not at
all unexpected'

'Does anything actually surprise you?' Brad asked still enjoying the taste
of my cum in his mouth.

'Yes, I am continually surprised but my reaction to the surprise is what
makes it seem I am so calm or otherwise ugh can we stop talking. I need to
sleep for 45 minutes before we go to dinner with the parents'

Brad look at me disdain flickering in his eyes 'What I thought we weren't
doing to that? Or were we? I dunno, it feels like we should be snuggling'

Inwardly I agreed and phoned Mum to inform that we would be over for dinner
the following night. It was unfortunate they had a roast but my brother was
there so it would be lively at least and he always ate enough for
three. Lucky break for Brad and I.

Brad's body innately snuggled its way into and around mine ensuring as much
of his skin was touching mine as possible. Our fingers linked tightly
together. The warmth of Brad's breath on my neck was soothing and his - the
fact it was his breath added to the safeness I felt being intertwined with
his muscle.

The early shadows of night had begun their slow creep over the surrounding
countryside as the last flickering golden-orange rays of sunlight clung to
the distant west. Night was slowly making it way and I didn't know if
either of us would be leaving the bed.

Well, and I say that word a lot, I was wrong - I barely ever say that. Brad
fell asleep briefly, at first his breathing simply deep but somewhat loud
then as his face proceeded to smush into my neck further the noises became
adorably horrific. But brief it was as he begrudgingly with slow tender
care as if I was actually asleep and made of glass untangled himself from
me and walked out into the longue.

I could here the top of a Corona pop off and a satisfied sigh after what
must have been the first gulp.

'B you can put the music on if you want, I'ma read the Kindle or iPad
whichever is closer' I yelled out to him

'Sweet Wills, you wanna come join in?' there was definitely eagerness in
his voice. How could I refuse that?

'Yup I'll just get a few chapters down, yell when you get three in the box
in case I get to into it' I said

'Mint, I'll try pick some music that suit the both of us' Brad said. With
You was the first song he chose. Another tick in my randomly made list of
things to tick off.

I fell asleep for a short while and when I woke up Disturbed was playing
which I liked but the volume was so loud it was a surprise the windows were
intact.

I stepped out into the lounge to see Brad absolutely wasted. Apparently I
had been asleep long enough for him to consume the entire box. This muscle
mammoth of a man was dancing in his undies raging out and upon laying his
eyes upon me it was as though electricity surged through the floor and into
the very fibres of his body.

'Babe COME DANCE' his entire too gorgeous to be allowed face was bursting
with a smile just for me eyes locked on mine. I had no chance to really
begin dancing as this beautiful beast of a man picked me up off the ground
in the way he enjoyed so much, newly-wed style, and danced us both around
the room kissing big sloppy drunk kisses all over my face. All I could
smell was beer and all I could feel was Brad's arms holding me like he most
precious thing in his life.

I ignored the fact that he was drinking the rest of the tequila out of the
bottle but hey, he was pissed enough the flaming poison probably tasted
like candy floss. He finished the bottle while still passionately holding
me in his arms but after another ten minutes gravity had other plans for
Bradley and myself.

'B can you carry me to the bed' I asked softly kissing his neck and
nuzzling my head there in the process.

As expected by the time he managed to get us both to the bed he simply
dropped on top of it including myself. He was smashed beyond the point that
I should have let him get but I guess swaying in the defined arms of the
man you love to music you adore is remarkably addictive.

With ease I slid out from underneath him and one limb at a time then with a
shove the torso and head turned him onto back then tilted his head with a
sofa pillow in case he spewed.

Alas my man who cares for me in every way, who is so in control now lies
before me sloshed and unconscious.

I switched the light off and got some Nuromol from the bedside table with a
bottle of water and managed to get the down. I turn to leave the room to
lock the house, shut the curtains, switch the TV and other appliances off
including the lights and return to bed with my heavily drunken boyfriend
when I feel a hand on mine.

'Wills-ia-m pl-ea-se bb-ab-e pl-ea-s-e st-ayy-y. Ddo-n't leave meee-e' his
voice pleading agony. Don't leave me stirring from somewhere deep the need
in his voice was palpable.

'I'm not going anywhere, just taking ma pills then in bed B. I won't be
leaving the room; you can see me the whole time. Ok?' I said kissing his
hand. Brad didn't close his eyes worried as they were swirling with drunken
emotion they followed me around to my dresser where I took my pills.

Looking at myself in the mirror always made me smile. Mostly because I
would smile at myself then smile at my smiling self. My eyes were deep
swirly blue and my face far more youthful than I liked even with
stubble. Always a warm mischievous smile. I loved my appearance and I loved
it even more so because of how deeply I used to hate it.

It seemed Brad was asleep because he was no longer hawk-watching me, his
sweet eyes were closed but beneath the music I could hear him mumbling
drunken ramblings. Immediately my svelte frame in three graceful movements
switched everything in the lounge off at the power point including lights
so Brad's ramblings were now centre stage as I fall into bed beside him.

Automatically he pulls his little spoon into himself arms and legs then
finding my hands to intertwine our fingers. Brad with his warm breath
periodically breezing against the nape of my neck fell back to sleep for a
little while but whatever aches lay inside that mind started whispering its
way out of his mouth.

He said he wouldn't leave

He said he wouldn't leave

Mum, Mum, Mum

He said he wouldn't leave

Why would he say that Mum?

You left

Mum what did I do

Sweet Psychiatrist dream moment, so that is a piece if subconscious
information that would face a deep onslaught of thought and consideration
at a later date. I knew Brad's mother committed suicide and it seemed
somehow if the he was me then a deeper fear of me leaving him the same way
might lie somewhere in that head of his. However I talked about some
seriously fucked up shit in my sleep so you know, each to their own. I
would just remember this.

Suddenly. As in shake-a-cracka-outta-his-drug-induced-sleep suddenly Brad
was staring into my eyes. Quite a bit sobered up.

He kissed me like I was about to pass away and to be honest the amount of
sheer love I could feel pulsing through his lips if I was about to pass
away a kiss like that from that bloke would likely save me. Anyway - I
digress.

'Please don't leave me' he said

Quizzically I looked back 'I don't plan on it'

Brad kinda chuckled shyly 'It's hard for me because I don't want you to
ever leave my side and I know that is not possible. It's something I have
to deal with. It's just I can't personally ensure you are safe if you are
away from me. And you know, if you - well if anything bad happened to
you. Fuck, it's hard to even think about it'

'Bradley' I stared directly down into the depth of his eyes 'I will not
abandon, leave, desert or ditch you in any way unless it is what you ask of
me. Even then I will have you psychiatrically analysed to check you are of
sound mind'

Unable to hold my eyes with his Brad looked past my head to the roof 'I'm
sorry Wills ha fuck man that would have sounded desperate as. I
dunno. Maybe if I explain it some more. I was a 25 precenter Wills, only
really engaging with and getting the most of quarter of my life. I milked
that 25-precent for all it was ever worth. I read all the time, I survived
in the bush, I work in a job that reminds me I'm alive every second I'm in
it because of it's sheer physicality. You Wills you aren't just my shining
radiating 75 precent you're, you're the sun and it's like I'm caught in
your orbit burning 1000s of times brighter than I ever was or knew how to
be. You see, if you go. If you leave me I don't want a life without you in
it. You're the fuel for my soul and if you left I'd fade away faster the
colours on a turned off TV screen'

Realising Brad really did have some deep seated issues regarding the death
of his mother I decided to make a point to reinforce to my own Abercrombie
in overalls that I wasn't going anywhere, ever. And that I loved, was IN
love with him.

'Plus Will Jesus fucking Christ sometimes I just look at you and think, How
Long? Why Me? Why did he pick me? I remember sounding so cocky on the boat
that you would fall in love with me but I was scared shitless bro I was
bluffing that whole part'

I frowned in the evening darkness 'Sit up, just do it don't question - and
look into my eyes. Let the blue of my eyes swirl every listening fibre of
your body onto my voice'. He was taken in moments; the sparkling deep lapis
lazuli eyes I was gifted with often took people.

'Plato wrote that in the beginning God created humans basically as two
people joined together - two heads, two hearts and so forth. But as time
passed God grew tired of mankind's ill-fated behaviour and severed every
human in half therefore dividing everyone into the two parts of their
initial whole self. It is said that our soul mate, the one we seek to fill
those voids we have is in fact the other half of our original selves both
halves continually trying to find each other. Through time the memories are
kept until the day the two souls are united again. There is a Nepalese
tradition that at birth every soul would meet it's life companion and from
then on those babies would remain together with all parents raising the
children. Twin Souls they were called. However the gods became jealous of
the happiness and split all the twin souls up from birth leaving them to
journey to each other for their lives. We have found each other my other
head, my twin soul. You will not be leaving me and I won't be leaving
you. Because I love you, you are worth staying around for. I don't divide
my live by percentage I compare thought times and baby since you the
balance has shifted so far in the positive direction'

Brad's eye's were half closed he was swelling with jubilation but still
something held him

'What about the sex?' he whispered painfully

'What, do you want to make it less than the hottest sex I've ever had in my
life?' I replied with as much get the fuck out of your funk PEP as
possible.

Finally he laughed 'Yeah well so far so fucking amazing huh? I think we
should re list our deal breakers and be completely honest with each other,
even if they aren't complete deal breakers just things that piss us the
fuck off about each other so we know. God know I know what makes you happy
even the little BIG things that you would never so much as whisper lest
someone actually hear it. I know Wills.'

'I know you do, part of your perfection. Hmm well I want to fuck so let us
complete this list thing with haste. My deal breakers as in break up no
questions asked are as follows: cheating, grand lies, injuring non-pest
animals, smoking Methamphetamine. Things that piss me off: I know it sounds
Cliché but so far you unlike any human who I choose to encounter have
not pissed me off advertently however I imagine you will do so and
likewise. It's part of being together. But yeah, my Buddhism really takes
away my reaction to anything you do that may piss me of or upset me in
anyway anyway. I just remain calm and can explain how I feel to you without
raging. Yet the deal breakers remain and will likely expand as I think on
them'

Brad just contemplated what I said for a little while, not too long. It was
nothing new.

'My deal breakers might be a deal breaker for you Wills' he said looking at
me anxiously '...obviously cheating and lying. But the following are more
things I would ask that you do both because I care about you and because
well, I'm a jealous control freak and if I don't talk to you about it now
it'll show itself in the worst way at worst time and likely ruin the best
thing that has ever happened to ne. You.'

I waited in his pause almost imprisoned in it. Waiting for him to gather
his thoughts enough to continue.

He switched the bedroom light on with the remote and sat up so we were both
looking at each directly in the eyes.

'William you are in perfect physical health other than bein epileptic
though that is well under control. It's just your mental illness and the
three handfuls of psychiatric meds that you have to take along with their
side effects every day. And those side effects do affect the fuck out of
you. Your intelligence is so epic Wills; you are so god damn smart that at
times you are the ruin of yourself. Your generosity and kindness is
limitless but in the process of helping everyone else you miss helpin
yourself. Maybe you don't see it but when those meds kick in for a couple
of hours your eyes glaze over and you really have no idea what is going
on. The rest of time you work to hard helping everyone else that you wreck
your body and your mind.' Brad paused for a few seconds 'I think maybe I'm
25 shades of grey. Because I like control, control of you and the people
around me - it's something I have admired ad learnt from you babe your
ability to effortlessly control people. I don't think of you as an object
you are far to ethereal and intelligent for that but I consider you mine
and wish for all people to be aware of that. I guess the other 25 Shades is
the Extreme Kink and Punishment and Submissive stuff. You are far too much
a wonder and miracle of life to be thought anything less let alone be
treated so. I am possessive which you haven't really seen because we
haven't been around others - you know what I mean anyway. I know I can't
control you as much as I would like but the reasons that really drive me to
want to in the first place is you health. Sometimes you really do need to
be told what to do. You know it too.'

I regarded the bloke for a few moments taking in the facial expression left
on his gorgeous asymmetrical face with softly red cheeks and just tanned
skin like golden syrup.

'If I'm honest with you Brad despite the fact that yes I am stubbornly
independent, that much is obvious, I fucking love you taking care of
me. You don't need to justify it even though you do make some valid
points. I like it, you like - so do it. And I know you're jealous, I like
that too. Fuck B even back when we were kid you would get jealous if a new
guy our age came up to the hut. You would always be Wills let go or Wills
he has tuberculosis because you hated me hanging out with anyone else and
you knew I hated the fact that they'd stopped vaccinating for TB and was
terrified I'd die from it so would always ditch them. So don't go changing
that part of yourself. I guess maybe that it why we are so well for each
other I quite like your flaws - you know flaws to one person aren't always
flaws to another person'

'...how the fuck did you become sober so quickly by the way?'

Brad chuckled I think a little too much at me 'William, I guess you could
say that I have certain tolerance to liquor. Besides you forced me as I
hazily recall to consume water and pain relief before I fell asleep for a
while. And I am not sober completely, I mean I'm still drunk enough for you
to have your way with me'

I rolled my eyes 'Sorry babe, I don't do drunk people'

Hurt flickered in his eyes only for a moment 'Why?' he asked inching his
shirt off. My ability to resist was about to become non-existent once those
abs revealed themselves.

I shut my eyes which made Brad chuckle even more 'You like the body. Come
it will be fun, besides I ain't drunk I am mildly pissed. You can take
control do what you want'

'Bradley Taylor if you think I am going to engage myself in all the damn
sexual effort at this hour then you may as well have a wank. If You want to
get up to sexual activities then You can move that sweet ass and those
fucking glorious abs over here and begin by kissing ma lips baby' I said in
one sweet linguistic sling of words.

The bed moved instantaneously and Brad was on top on me completely all of
his weight resting on my body and the bed. Yes, still a wee bit drunk but
enough to actually make him clumsy in a cute way.

'You want kissing huh my sweet little cosmic genius? So be it. I aspire to
please Mr Oliver' Brad breathed each word between kisses. Sweet Jesus if my
physical sensory system wasn't so jacked up on his kisses, which began to
spread over my entire body, then the smell of tequila itself emanating from
his mouth would have me drunk. But alas it was the kisses I was drunk on
and I couldn't control myself. I was writhing around as he moved himself up
sitting on his knees/my legs so he could kiss my lower chest.

'Do I really have to hold you down while I do this you spastic wood nymph,
I'm hardly gonna be able to keep it up with you all of the place?'

While the idea of Brad holding me down had a certain appeal I could not be
bothered with it. I would have to prove that he couldn't keep me that way
by employing one of the several martial arts I had mastered over my years
of life. It was the way I had made myself, a person who proved their
dominance in all situations either subtly or more obviously depending on
the situation. The ironic thing was that I needed - shall we say, taking
care of, more than I ever allowed myself. My friends and especially my
family were all too aware of the effects of my medication on my ability to
make decisions and function but they were also keenly aware of my abilities
in almost every aspect of life giving the ability to at least cope by
myself. Brad, well I was relieved that he had a controlling possessive
jealous streak in him. I wanted but needed those things in a partner. The
trick would be giving enough of it over while remaining myself and under my
own free will for the most part. No matter how sick I might be, no man
would ever control me to the point of being able to simply tell me what to
do. I laugh at that idea.

The fever of his kisses subsided as he slipped back into the warm comfort
of sleep. Body still firmly planted on top on mine and lips resting on my
neck the alcohol had taken all of his stamina for the night. I pondered
whether I would tell him of this - no, I would keep it as a tease should he
ever decide to tease me.

Unfortunately the one side effect of being solid muscle was massive weight
and it was becoming impossible to breath with Brad's body strewn on top of
me pressing down heavily. Again as I was so adept at doing I
shimmy-shuffled out from underneath him and curled up next to him.

'You cannot escape me' he whispered from his sleep pulling me into a hug so
tight my breathing was almost as restricted as before. Yet the rhythmic
beating of his heart and the tight interwoven-ness of his arms, legs and
fingers with mine not to mention his entire ripped from heaven chest
pressing against my back made it all so intoxicating I was asleep in
moments.

Chapter Four II

We had, I correct myself, Brad had little to do after the move. I took the
week off and helped him but really he did as much as he possibly could
almost racing me so that I didn't have to do anything. I figured Leave the
man, if he wants to do it he can.

Brad's pace meant that in two days he had moved in and he as well as I had
the entire week off. Small town living comes with its own set of wonders
and familiar soul embracing proponents yet for two blokes freshly in the
throws of love and passion we wanted something more to fill our
days. Adventure.

I was a monumental seeker of adventure and liver of life and in my quiet
solitude before Brad came roaring into my life I had assumed no man I would
meet could possible hope to match that. Yet Brad, he almost exceeded it in
his boyish jubilant energy. He coaxed more of my life-loving
adventure-taking nature-dancing spirit out of me with his cosmically
electric smile and ceaselessly enthusiastic attitude to most anything.

This was beyond amazing because the good gospel Lord knows some days I
would be trapped on the couch in a haze of medicated sedation and whenever
Brad so much as saw the tapestry of my eyes begin to swing that way he
would pump so much energy from his soul into mine the process felt like
defibrillation. But I would be up and about with him whether or not I
actually enjoyed the task I enjoyed being active with him. Passing him
tools for his car - which at first surprised him because I was fluent in
tool names and uses.

I digress. We had five free days and little else other than fucking to
do. I was all for fucking - all for it. Yet we could and would be fucking
anyway. Free time together would soon be a rarity so I wanted to have an
adventure. Make some memories and get up to crazy shit. Laugh in a
terrifying manner together.

Stop mid graceful step I realised what must be done and then chuckled
because I actually thought it that way in my head and shit like that made
me laugh. What must be done. Fuck, it sounds like some ominous line from a
Terry Goodkind novel. We must go bush I realised. Go up the swamp, we had
five days and duck shooting was over so the place will have filtered out of
most swamp folk. People really only went up there during duck season anyway
but that just meant no idiots turning up to disrupt Brad and I in our
privacy.

He would be so happy about the idea that he would want to leave immediately
and forget to pack half his bag in the process. Hence I packed both our
bags systematically taking into account every situation we might encounter
while Brad half snored half gasped in his undies asleep on the couch. I
could hardly blame the bloke after all he did insist on quite literally
doing all of the manual labour of the move. He announced he was sleeping in
his undies so that even though I couldn't talk to him I would have
something good to look at. It happened that I had a cast iron pan in my
hand when he said it and the look in me eyes was response enough. He
quickly shut up and closed his eyes.

Brad woke while I was debating with my dog just how deaf she possibly was
or was not. He strolled outside still in his trunks and messy hair
squinting at me trying to get used to the brightness of the sun light.

'She's hardly deaf if she can hear the food container opening from your
parents house Will. Besides after living and listening to you for so many
years I don't blame the girl for tuning out' Brad said as he with all the
ease of someone not of this earth lifted me off the ground and into his
arms like an awake sleeping child kissing only my lips so softly but with
so much love that I stopped breathing so caught up in it.

'Breathing is important' he said smirking

I scowled. How the mother fuck dare he take my breath away then mock
me. Vengeance.

Pip was sauntering around looking for food. Fucking Labradors and their
never ending hunt for food. Ceaseless.

'Wait, you plan on spending you're life with me if you dare tune the fuck
out while I blah on I'll get that fucking pan and give you a legitimate
physical reason for not being able to hear' I hurled the words out of my
mouth with a bitter chill.

Brad being Brad knew far better than to test me further rather he chose to
take my breath away again. So adept at the minutiae of loving his arms and
lips and musky man smell all wrapped my senses up until I was senseless.

I let myself become lost in him but knew that in this game two players were
at play. And my turn would soon come.

With my free arm I gently but with a swift soft force grabbed the shaft of
his cock through his trunks, which was hard as expected and oh so fucking
tenderly tickled just under the tip. His breath caught for a second then
released with a sigh of pleasure face falling into my neck.

I stopped suddenly leaving his cock harder yearning for the sensations that
just coursed through it.

'Breathing is important you know' I said smirking so much it was more a
ruthless grin of world domination.

Brad chuckled 'Point well made Oliver. Now if you'd enlighten me as to
exactly where we are traveling to we can maybe see to this um...' his sharp
green eyes flicked downward then back up to meet mine with a wicked twinkle
'...ever growing problem you have so tactfully created in my trunks'

Despite the fact he was hard the moment his lips touched mine if not sooner
and that I simply enticed him in the most tantalising way possible I
accepted the fact that indeed my existence was the cause of his arousal.

'I figured that with you being Mr Adventure and me being Mr Moment we'd get
bored here before we go back to work. You spark my bonfire babe. So the
swamp seemed like the best place to go. Season is done so we should have
the entire wilderness to ourselves. Much adventure my man'

Brad's eyes instantly became luminous with excitement and his smile
crackling with electricity 'YES! NOW!'

Carrying me inside albeit rapidly yet still like I was extremely valuable
and easily breakable Brad tugged on an old work shirt and cut off
jeans. One leg was slightly longer. Obviously a hand made job and still
muddy, swamp shorts. One can always tell swamp mud as it has a silty
greyish silver hue to it. Brad was so excited that he was dressing for the
swamp in his swamp clothes and by god he had not washed them since the last
time. I had missed them in my packing and I was happy about it because the
smell despite its funky nature matched Brad and his current look well. By
GOD the smell the musk it was driving me in-fucking-sane. Even more nuts
than I am usually. This bloke had a fucking extreme effect on me. Mother
fucker. I shook my head to get my senses back. I don't know what it was,
usually I was in control of such things, yet Brad he had a way of casting a
spell over me. And I had not a single problem with it.

With Brad's boyish excitement sweeping through the house like a wild wind
catching everything in its way we both found ourselves in his Ute on the
way to the swamp. Dog in the back with her face in the wind and boat hooked
on the tow bar the journey had begun.

The early afternoon sun reflected of Brad's Oakleys as I watched him out of
the corner of my eye. Even in swamp attire that bloke looked fine as all
hell. I believed not in big brand sunnies, I mean they all did the same
thing. Though they suited Brad almost too much I was happy with my massive
twenty-dollar neon green pair.

'You could stop traffic with those things' Brad said about five minutes
into the drive.

I lowered them so the blue depths of my eyes could swirl before him 'I stop
traffic on a regular basis without sunglasses Bradley. Sometimes because of
a cape other times because I am screaming in Finnish or sipping tea in the
middle of the road'

I laughed as I recounted my memories, always finding myself hilarious. Brad
tilted his head and mouthed silently 'A cape?'

I nodded 'Well of course you dick. I am overlord some days'

That made him laugh-cackle-choke 'Oh real, just some days? You're losing
your touch Will. I would have thought it would be everyday'

I feigned a deep sigh shaking my head in mock anguish 'Babe being overlord
takes it out of a guy. The responsibility. Sometimes I just want to write
things and throw pans'

'What is it with you and pan related violence?' he asked attempted to keep
a straight face.

Shrugging I said 'I like the idea of a pan thwacking solidly against
someone and the noise of the contact. Like no you will not do that PAN TO
THE FACE'

Brad choked and swerved slightly 'I must keep that in mind when you are
around pans. Knowing you you would throw at in my direction intending to
miss but strike me in the face' 'Yes, you are correct. That is a real
danger' I said. Brad just carried on his roar laughing. Finding it funny
for the same syntactic reasons I did.

The song We Laugh We Dance We Cry came on and realised my inner musician
and screamed out every word bucking around wildly.

'AND WE LAUGH AND WE DANCE AND WE CRY AND WE DO WHAT WE CAN TO GET BY OOO
WAA OOOO WAAAAA' I hollered while convulsing in my seat to the beat.

Brad turned the music up and joined in singing with me all the dance he
could really safely do was head thumping so he was driving away thumping
his up and down raging out with me. We pulled up at an intersection
garnering ourselves multiple looks from fellow road users but give zero
fucks because we weren't the kind of people to give a fuck in the first
place but also the moment was so charged I don't think getting pulled over
by a cop would have stopped us.

As you know from the beginning of this entire journey going up the swamp
required a certain degree of physical moving in. We'd stopped at the super
market on the way to collect ice and food to last the stay and all of it
including our packs and the dog would need to be heaved into the boat then
once at the hut up onto the jetty and finally into the hut. As you can
imagine despite the fact that the hut was mine, well my families, Brad
still insisted on doing everything bar carrying Pip. My dog my
responsibility and there was no way he wanted to have to face my wrath if
he happened to hurt her in the process. So I lifted her into the boat and
Brad transferred everything else effortlessly feeding on the physicality of
it. Pip was profoundly interested in the food.

'Pip! You crazy black Bitch NO' I yelled at her. Understanding only Pip and
NO she stopped immediately and looked at me meekly sitting down.

Brad backed the boat down the jetty into the river after which I unhooked
it from the trailer and pushed it out into the water. Even though my little
black girl had been through this process enough times to be at peace she
still looked at me like I was deserting her to the river. Keeping hold of
the rope and pulling the boat up to the edge of the river Brad drove his
Ute up locking it and came down to meet me.

'Smooth Wills, you still got the touch that is for sure' Brad was
impressed. I think it was enough to remember the swamp which in one huge
blast I had the last time I was here but to actually still with ease be
able to carry out the tasks involved with being at the swamp was something
different.

'The amount of times I've done it I guess when it's right in front of me
it's like I never stopped' I mused aloud.

Brad pulled me into a kiss. No tongue just lips against lips and lips
against skin.

'This idea was fucking legit babe. Now lets get up there' The boat ride was
more humorous than expected. Pip kept trying to stand up with her paws on
the rim of the boat and every bend in the river caused her to almost take a
dive in the river. So being the over protective dog dad that I was I kept
leaping to her rescue which caused a huge amount of amusement to Brad.

'Babe despite the fact you have the grace of the most nimble Rivendell Elf
I think you should just hold her or she'll end up in the drink' Brad
shouted above the outboard.

I grinned at him and reached over for Pip pulling her into the safety of my
arms. God forbid she actually did fall in the river, which would be an
adventure. More than adept at swimming she would be fine but me being far
to over protective I would dive in directly after her gumboots and all then
Brad being as over protective of me as I was of Pip would dive in after me
leaving the boat to motor itself.

Brad circled up to the jetty outside the walkway up to the hut and nosed
the boat up to it so I could climb the rope up the ladder and tie it
off. With that task completed I momentarily got back in the boat to collect
my Bitch, the tide was at it's lowest point so there was no way other than
my telekinetic powers finally coming in that she was getting up onto
land. She ran around sniffing and pissing in random places vanishing like
the black shadow she was.

Brad was throwing the gear up onto the jetty, I discovered this because my
pack hit me directly in the face and I fell in the river. It was a rather
quick smack-bang-cracka-in-the-river process but my bag was so heavy and
Brad had a lift chuck routine going that didn't involve looking. The
looking part certainly changed when I splashed into the river next to the
boat.

I peacefully swam back to the jetty and climbed back up looking down at
Brad who was absolutely fucking horrified standing motionless in the centre
of the boat a sack of ice in his arms half chuck. Eyes wide waiting for my
response.

'Bradley I really did not plan on going for a fucking swim so soon fully
clothed, I think its only fair that you are as wet as I am' I said with sly
flicker in my eyes daring him to do it.

Smiling with his lips and loving me with his eyes he dropped the ice and
dove into the river. Literally, just dove in.

'WOOO! SHIT! FUCK JESS THIS WAKES YOU UP' he swam around for a bit before I
took my boots off and dove back in wrestling with him in the water. Pip
watched us from the jetty half jealous she wasn't in on the fun and half
judging our antics. So there we were in the river beside a boat pack full
of good play fighting in the water like two kids dunking and splashing each
other until finally Brad dragged me out and carried me up the ladder
ordering me to sit a fair distance from the jetty while he threw the rest
of the gear up.

I couldn't be bothered fighting him on it so lay back in the grass under
one of the now enormous oaks that I had planted as a sapling with Brad and
Sam when we were young. Wandering threads of lights filtered through the
leaves piercing my vision but my imagination had taken me to such a far
away place that I noticed only their warmth on my skin. Falling asleep I
awoke to Pip's sleeping head on my chest and Brad sitting cross-legged next
to me, watching with those loved up eyes.

'We're moved in babe, you were asleep for about three hours. Pip came to
keep you warm. I came to make sure your OK and watch you sleep. I could
watch you sleep until I drew my last breath and be the happiest man I could
be but seeing you asleep lying back in this tall thick grass with the thin
beams of sunlight radiating off your face underneath this beautiful tree
that I remember planting with you and your bro is next level. I was
hypnotized. I didn't even realize it had been this long until you opened
your eyes' Brad said lying down beside me now, resting head on my chest
sharing it with Pip.

'Fucken Jesus, your dog has been eating something rotten as' Brad said
nuzzling my neck making a more favourable sound '...mmm that's
better. Jesse smell, it's so amazingly sweet that if you don't have a solid
grip on reality it can blow your fucking mind. I know cause sometimes I
smell you and I have to fucken gather myself.' Brad said taking in another
long slow breath kissing my neck gently as he exhaled.

'Pip does loves things rotten' I observed as I played with Brad's hair. It
was somewhat damp from the hauling of all the gear up the stairs into the
hut, it was quite a mission walk from the jetty and he did it all
himself. He smelt of himself musky and sweaty no body spray just
Brad. Fuck. I was bonkers for that smell.

'What about your smell, like now the musky manly sweaty smell. It's fucking
perfection and BY GOD BRADLEY if it were not for my deep level of self
control I would all over you right this fucking moment you uncomfortable
attractive in so many ways bloke of mine. I mean Jesus, I know what it
means scientifically but it doesn't make any easier to stay under control
around you when your smelling all manly and Brad like' I said

I could feel his beautiful cheeks heat up against the skin of my neck, as
we remained lying underneath the oak tree. Pip had nuzzled her head into my
lower belly falling back asleep.

'What does it mean scientifically?' he asked quietly

I loved how he wanted to know and learn. Fuck I was in love with this
guy. More than I ever thought I could be.

'Well, it works almost the same way as pheromones. Not exactly but I assume
you know what pheromones are so it's an easy analogy to make so can
understand the latter part. It's been shown that in true mates they are
attracted to the fundamental smell of their partner. You see my scent could
be and often is too sickly sweet for most people, it might be nice but not
an attractive scent on a biological level because their body has it's own
chemical make up for which it needs certain things that my scent doesn't
provide. The way you smell, the scent that you produce naturally has a
physiological affect on me meaning not only emotional and spiritually but
also physiologically I am attracted to you. They did a study on it. As in
our days of evolving we never had perfumes and such, it was humans smelling
like humans and frequently we would find ourselves attracted to people not
only because of all the usual qualities but because of the natural scent
particular to each human. It has something to do with the immune system
also I think and it's health'

Brad was silent 'So we really really are fully meant for each other. Cheers
to the creators for making it that way cause fuck it Wills, you're my
heroin. Dunno what I'd do without you. Sounds weird to say after being
without you for so long but it is like what we have is such a powerful
amazing force of nature that maybe it took all those years for us to be
ready enough to actually be able to have this. You know? We have the rest
of our lives to feel this happy. I'm looking forward to everything with you
William Oliver. The good and especially the bad because the more shit we go
through the stronger we will be.'

I coughed a while in my head to recover from the fact that this beautiful
human had just said such a beautiful thing and continued looking up through
the orange leaves of the oak. Pip was snoring and Brad had fallen to sleep
face nestled in my neck, what an epic photo that would have been yet I
couldn't move my limps without waking one or both of them so instead loosed
my mind back into imagination and I was God again healing humanity. The
world was safe in my mind. Which of the two animals asleep on my chest
would wake first I had no idea, likely my man as he never slept that long
and would be keen for an adventure whereas Pip on the other hand was very
well practiced at day long sleeping.

I was correct. Brad did wake first however he did sleep longer than I
expected. His breathing now a match to my own I could tell he was awake
because he was slowly outlining my chest muscles with his fingers. I
couldn't see what happening, I couldn't even see Brad's face I was simply
awash in the sensations of his fingers against my body and the heat of his
breath that could be felt even through my t-shirt.

He knew I couldn't move lest I wake my Bitch so in silence we
remained. With Brad tracing my slender muscles with his fingers while I
surrendered to the surroundings and sensations.

Pip was snoring like she might be about to take her last breath but that
was typical of her, to snore like the roar of bear even with her eyes open.
It would seem both members of this little party were taking solace in the
calm of my body.

'That's the first proper nap I have been able to have since...since. I
can't remember. I have never been able to go to sleep like that unless it's
night or I'm high. I dunno what it is about your body but when my head is
resting on it its like' he stopped to think '...it's hard to explain. You
just make me calm, I feel like I'm wrapped up in your soul and it's so
peaceful and I drift off to sleep and even the sleep is different. It's a
glide down in a content restful place. I know I'm the big spoon that is how
it is. I am. But sometimes I think I might just lie like we are now and
sleep'

'Sweet as babe, you're welcome to lie on me whenever you like for how ever
long you like. My body is yours' I said

A flicker of deep unbridled passion flew through Brad's eyes at my mention
of my body being his. Almost primal in his tasting of my skin he licked and
kissed every millimetre of my body until I was screaming for release. This
boy had an insane thirst for me and lavished as much of me he possibly
could.

'Maybe I'll just fall asleep on you every night then. You'll still be the
little spoon, I'll still be hugging you but my head can rest on your
chest....' Brad's eyes churned at me in all of their sparkling magnificence
''...is that OK?'

Inwardly I chuckled softly. Of course it was OK. It was insanely
OK. Everything about it was OK. Brad wrapping me up in his arms head
nuzzled in my neck moving forward to fall asleep. In that exact way I was
protected and able to tenderly take care of Brad in return. As he slept
head on my chest arms tightly entangled around my body I tenderly stroked
his moist hair kissing his head.

'Babe you can sleep wherever you like. But here is just right' I whispered
to my sleeping stud. Unhearing he groaned and held me tighter into himself,
so tight that I could barely breathe. Speaking in his sleep he asked again
for his mother, begging for her help.

Maa Maa Muuum I found him Mum After all this time I found him

Yeah Mum, he's the same Mum Maaaa

'Brad, wake UP!' I screamed at him through the thick blackness of
night. Having no bedside lamp it was iPhone to the rescue. Brad shielded
his eyes from the LED light emanating from my iPhone. His eyes looked up at
me squinting;

'What!' he hissed

'Babe you were having some talk out loud nightmare about your mother and
whom I assume is me' I offered softly and casually trying to keep it
peaceful.

He shut his eyes again and kept them closed tighter than usual. Brad
obviously remembered what he had dreamt about and knew I was aware of it as
well given his talking during sleep.

'Just say it. Or something Wills. I know I was talking in my sleep just
give me your analysis and let it be over' Brad said quickly

'You said you had found him, that you had finally found him. You were
reassuring your Mother that you had found him and whether than him is me or
not is answerable only by you'

Brad's eyes were wide and hollow 'Yup that was it Wills. Mum she was so
worried about whether I had found you or not. So concerned because she knew
even from where she is how important you are to my happiness hence the
dream'

'Your mother never knew me though B. Why would you dream of her wish for
you to find me' I asked trying to be rational.

Brad looked at me deeply. 'The only explanation I have is that she killed
herself because she couldn't live with the pain of her life yet in the next
state of her existence she knows the only way I am going to be happy and
content in my own life is with you. She knew you for a brief portion of her
life Wills and how valuable you were to me even back then that despite her
suicide she said that you were meant for me. She had no idea of how things
would turn out but she knew'

'Wise woman' I replied to Brad's emotionally thoughtful and poignant
statement.

'Ahh. William. You know that wasn't actually a nightmare, for the first
time since Mum died I haven't actually dreamed about her. And I mean
dreamed. Yeah I have slept and she has been there but always a nightmare
always me screaming for her and she would just fade away. But just now it
was like the weirdest setting but so awesome Will. We were at the Air New
Zealand first class transit lounge sitting at the bar talking, sometimes
she would fade away but this time I could call her back. And she was so
happy that I'd found you again that from where she was she could feel the
change in me' Brad said. His voice was thoughtful while still deep
pondering his own words as he spoke.

Then he started chuckling to himself '...yeah Bradley cause you really
wanna be retelling dreams like that to your shrink boyfriend'

I started laughing with him. It was pretty funny just the way he said like
Yeah Bradley... Simultaneous laughing at very particular things was
something we did extraordinarily well. Linguistic humour and word play was
something that I had previously thought only myself and one good mate
shared but Brad was on point. It was all about the denotation, the
inflections. I would call something rotund and he would be in hysterics
simply because who the fuck says rotund.

'It's a funny fear my loved ones have. That I am always analysing them,
picking apart each and every utterance, movement and behaviour in
general. Truth is I can't be fucked, I am about enjoy the company of my
friends and family not solidifying a thesis worth of notes on
each. Besides, should an event occur whereas my skills are required I have
and will happily provide them'

Brad sat up slowly sitting in the grass cross-legged next to me. We were
still outside under the oak. Night had not come yet and my bitch was still
in the throws of her snoring sleep.

Brad's smile had a secret story of it's own 'You look pretty heavenly lying
back in that grass with the sunlight lighting up your face Wills. And you
know it wouldn't matter to me if you did dissect my dream Freudian style
but ya know, I know you wont. You know automatically the significance of
certain details, your brain works so fast you analysed it as I told it to
you without meaning to and it only if you sat down to think about it that
you would start drawing deeper conclusions that don't need to be
drawn. Cause really it was just a dream and outside of this real life
dream...' he said waving his arms wizard style at me and all around at the
willows and river '...it is the best dream I've had. Just Mum and I. Dad
always said she was a first class lady, maybe that's why we were in the
first class transit lounge. And that was always her passion to travel. She
yearned for it.'

Catching his breath Brad looked away from my lapis lazuli eyes that caught
everything spoken and unspoken '...I used to think that she killed herself
when I was born because having a child meant she couldn't travel or be the
free spirit she was. But she. Well she didn't just go and do it straight
away you know, you tried her best for 4 years and went wherever you go when
you die. God hopefully she's not stuck in the transit lounge. Hopefully she
is travelling. She knew you Will however brief it was'

I was listening. My boy, this hulky man beast wanted to talk feelings and
that was my bread and butter.

'You know how they say if you're a girl you unconsciously look for the same
qualities in your boyfriend as your father possesses because he has been
your main male role model your entire life. Then for a guy they say you
look for the same attributes that your mother has in your girlfriend. So
many of my mates you are in long term relationships exemplify this but it
can be the reverse as if you have a dick head father you look for dick head
boyfriends'

I nodded. I had read the research from 1971 and found it to be mostly true
from experience and as with almost all psychology research from that time
the controlling factors of the experiments weren't at a high standard but
the qualitative information gathering techniques were quite good. I
digress.

'Yeah babe I am familiar with that saying. What makes you bring it up
amidst this conversation' I said casually eyes shut. I knew if I kept my
eyes shut then Brad would feel far more at ease to talk about things such
as this. My eyes, I don't know, maybe it was their piercing blue or the
deep knowing soul behind them but they often put people off talking when
directly faced with them in all their glorious churning blue depth.

'Don't take this the wrong way because it's difficult for me to say anyway
OK?' Brad's voice carried a rasp to its edge.

Eyes still closed I calmly smiled and replied 'I rarely take things the
wrong way, it is my nature to respond equanimously'

Almost hearing him smile and role his eyes at my Buddhist philosophy I
waited for him to continue.

'I believe that is true except in this case I was never looking for a guy
manlier than myself so it was never my Father's qualities that struck me in
a potential partner. I always wanted a man who was a man not a guy who was
so feminine it was like being with a dicked-chick and you are the
former. You are William who happens to be gay. You aren't feminine nor
particularly masculine, you are a magical mixture of quirky, unusual, odd
and extraordinary characteristics that can only be defined by you. But your
free spirit, that God Damn free spirit, it's the winds the sweep the
country rustling leaves bellowing over hills and houses. It's the fire that
flickers then rages warming the soul. It's the wonder that's
infectious. It's the part of my mother that I see in you so much. So I
guess I found the best part of my mother in you, both what others believed
was the best in her and what she believed was the best in her. And it
radiates out of you, scorching sweltering passion for everything. But Mum
she had the darkness of the mind and so do you. I think I found in you so
much of my mother. I don't mean that offensively' he added the last bit
quickly.

I sat up experiencing brief orthostatic hypotension.

'I don't think there is a higher honour that could be bestowed upon me that
having you say those things to me about how you see in me the best parts of
your mother. To be frank, it is the highest compliment I have ever been
paid. I will never forget that Bradley. I will never forget what you have
said to me today'

Brad, I think he just liked touching my face because he at every
opportunity would place a hand on either cheek prior to kissing me, placed
a hand on either cheek and kissed my lips pressing his against mine
somewhat harder than usual then traced the edge of my lips with his tongue.

'You taste like strawberry' he declared '...so do you think you see the
best of your father in me given you wanted a manly guy as your partner?'
The question was out of the blue. Though I knew he wouldn't have planned on
asking it at the start due to the deep nature of what he was talking about
Brad was always one to randomly ask and this would be something that he
would love to know.

'Not exactly. Sam I look for a lot of who he is in my partners as wells as
Dad. Sam he is ferociously protective at all times, reminds me to take my
meds, dislikes health food. Many of the same things as you. Dad is wise,
calm, sits back and watches. This is what you do. You are a mixture of the
two other most important men in my life'

Brad was exceptionally happy with this appraisal and lifted me up off the
ground as he stood with me and walked me into the musty smelling hut. Pip
had no choice but to wake up and follow.

I hooked the gas bottle up to the cook top and placed the kettle on top;

'Beverage my man?' I asked Brad who was making a single bunt bed, my one on
the bottom. It was safer I slept on the bottom bunk as I was so medicated
at night if I fell of the top ones they were so high I might hit a nail on
the way down on simply break my neck and die.

'Yeah boi. Oh you realise we're double bunking it, I kinda like the idea of
sleeping compressed up with you' Brad said grinning more than one thing on
his mind. It posed no problem for myself as that bloke spooned me so
tightly on my king bed it was like sleeping in a single anyway.

'Of course we are double bunking ma big hunk of spunk, God knows you hold
me tight enough when we sleep in my bed at home that sharing a single bed
will be no different. Besides I have absolutely no issue with being
squished up against you all night- in fact right now I could do with one of
those Big B's squishy hugs' I dropped the tone of my voice to half whisper
but before I even began to explain why Brad arms were lacing themselves
around my body squishing me into him forcefully but with a kind of passion
that was so delicate yet so fucking fiery and hot that my soul set alight.

Brad moved his mouth so he could talk into my ear and nibble it with a
sweet tenderness at the same time 'Babe, I think we need t talk about you
not taking your Benzos during the day. I give em to you and don't get me
wrong I know they tranquilize the fuck out of you but you fake swallow them
and spit them over the deck. I seen you do it all the days I've been with
you.'

Incredulity spread across my face and my heart beat faster caught in my lie
by the man I loved.

Sighing I sunk further into him 'Jesus fucking Christ you are one observant
mother fucker' I stated

Brad chuckled into the side of my head which he had been kissing 'Just you
my little bundle of cracker-nuts, you are the only one I notice. It's only
you that I observe. Fuck you are all I see these days. But those pills are
potent and they prescribe them to you for a reason so unless you are taken
off them by your Psych then continue taking them OK?'. His tone was jovial
but deadly serious, to him my medication was the foremost in what kept me
from harm and there was no fucking with it. I hadn't taken into account the
fact that I was indeed in a relationship now; there were more than just my
own feelings to take in account now. Despite my qualifications and deep
knowledge of medicines I had to take into account Brad's feelings and with
what happened to his mother I understood how important it was I did each
and every thing that was required of me to stay healthy in the mind.

'OK, yeah I get it B. There's more than just me in this deal now. I'll take
em, I just didn't want to be tired all day and miss out on adventures with
you' I said truthfully. I often changed dose time and strength to lessen
side effects but when dealing with benzos one had to be extremely
careful. The made me so sleepy in the day time that it was like being a
calm non-human eating zombie.

'Then I'll come with you to the shrink next time you go and we can talk to
him about it. I'm pretty sure with you being stable for so long now you
don't need daytime benzos. Plus that way you can titrate off them properly
even though I imagine you were doing that too a point anyway as you are a
doctor. Anyways I ramble, we'll sort you. But for now you take your pills
and don't lie to me about it. I get you want to be awake with me but I
would rather sit with you all day than have you not properly medicated even
if now you might be over medicated'

Ah Brad. Forward thinking and far more on to it than I would have liked at
times but always for the better.

Finally releasing me from his Big B medicine hug we sat down to some crate
beers and listened to The Rock.

I wasn't used to talking with Brad in that fashion. There wasn't a problem
with any aspect of it, the naturalness so common to our conversations was
still there it was just the subject and manner in which Brad was addressing
me.  It made me feel safe in this abstract yet incredibly real way. Despite
the fact it likely was not it did in fact feel like our first proper adult
conflict of sorts. I say /of sorts/ because there was less conflict and
more me being caught in a lie and having to compromise which I never would
have had to do before because there was no one but myself to answer to.

We continued to drink our beer until the both of us were quite
drunk. Lithium by Evanescence happened its way on radio and we laughed at
the irony.

'I would ask you to dance but maybe the next song huh?' Brad said.

My eyes answered for me. Gold now was the sky, gold pastel easing into a
pink as the evening drew itself in. Brad offered his hand as Sugar by
Maroon Five came on and led me through the door to the inside lounge and
bunk area to the fire and entrance area out over the deck and onto the
large circular area of lawn beside the hut. Directly bathed in the evenings
stunning spectacle of colour and in clear earshot of the stereo. Taking the
lead Brad stepped me through his interpretation of the waltz or salsa or
whatever it was. It basically involved as much of his body against mine as
possible in the sunset it was perfection.

After the song finished we just stood there in each other's arms looking at
the trees or flax or long svelte blades of grass slipping from the earth
upward to the sky making it look effortless and graceful as each blade lay
about lazily in the easy breeze.

Quite suddenly Brad told me to remain where I was while he went and got
something. He came back with a bulky camera that looked to be from the film
- negative era.

'It's my Dad's Pentax' he said brightly '...he gave it to me for my
twenty-first. They're a really good brand and I've gotten good over the
years with the different lenses and shit. We should take some pictures of
us up here even if we do have to wait for the film to be developed' Brad
looked proud but a little shy of his camera. I thought it was awesome, the
literal shutter sound that it made when a photo was taken and the turn of
the film. I felt like I was at a magazine shoot.

'That's a fucking legit camera B, shall be sweet to see them developed. Oh
it's exciting to think' I did a wave of my hand like I had successfully
cast a spell.

'You wanna massage' Brad asked

Quite unexpected but very welcome I nodded and was carried inside and laid
down on our bunk bed then straddled. Brad's thumbs started pressing in
circles on either side of my spine working outwards following the tense
sinews of each muscle. As his thumbs moved upwards pressing in deep circles
his palms followed massaging as each hand moved upwards to my shoulders
where I groaned brutally. Brad kneaded away the stress and tension then
tickled all of the same muscles that were massaged with only the very tips
of his fingers and excruciatingly gently. So gentle that it was a sweet
agony. Proceeding to blow over my now quite sensitive skin he quickly
started peppering it with kisses slowly taking longer and longer.

It was truly a sensory experience to behold. Brad had somehow keyed in on
something my body had known but my mind had not. My skin liked to be
sensitized, kissed, toyed and played with and Brad knew very much when, why
and how when it came to my skin. He was simply the key, actually.

Our dancing and antics on the lawn as the sunset had been on reflection a
lot crazier than we had thought at the time because we were reasonably
drunk but to me that made it all the more glorious. To have been held in
the sweeping grasses of the swamp by the man I love and swayed about to the
music albeit haphazardly it was still an impeccable memory that I would not
forget.

Sunset's pink pastel painting of the sky had slowly changed to the grey
black that came before the quick gulp of night-time's complete darkness. It
wasn't twilight hour just the time where there was only barely enough light
to just see a few meters around you without your eyes having to adjust all
that much, a time of night that was in flux and lasted on a small while.

We were back at the table drinking more beer listening to more music
talking in depth at times and in silence at others. You see Brad and I we
did talk in silence; our eyes, smiles, hands, sighs and well everything
spoke even when we were not speaking.

Looking quizzically into my eyes and losing himself in the process Brad
tried to remember what he was going to ask;

'I don't think I've ever seen you properly drunk' he stated as a fact and a
challenge. He did insist on bringing more piss than ice so he must intend
to drink it faster than the ice melted.

'Well that's because a drunk person is completely out of control and I am
completely out of control anyway so it seems pointless' I replied

Shaking his head like I was the student 'No not out of control drunk just
properly drunk where you enjoy all the best parts of it without being
sloshed'

I was aware of alcohol and its affects on the human body especially my own
and I planned on getting a tad more drunk than usual but Brad, well, if the
boy wanted to school me on the effects of alcohol he was more than welcome.

'And how will I know when I get there dear boy?' I asked

'Becaaause' he said slowly kissing my hand '...I'll take care of you
Will. Now can we PLEASE get on the piss and enjoy ourselves I want to dance
with you maybe to a slower song then some crazy dance then get high'

He got up and changed the channel to Hits. Hits was basically the top forty
regurgitated in different fashions yet in the top forty were some songs
that I knew and Brad did too that would be perfect to dance to and that we
could almost guarantee would play.

So I would say in a drunken state of writing about a drunken state of
existing that Brad would have in all his mischievous ways talked Wills into
the perfect level of drunkenness and it was I Wills thinking this as it
happened so I must have been in a fairly solid state of inebriation. Brad's
face was a wash of emotion, so much desire and yearning in his face and
lips but his eyes just love a solid brutal force of energy not to be
brought by anything. Looking into those eyes I don't think I have ever
experienced such a powerful emotion pass almost in a physically tangible
way between two people.

Brad wanted to dance to Take Me To Church my Hozier to which he immediately
justified with 'It'll be cathartic' so up we suddenly rushed to catch as
much of the song as possible.

On the left side of the long table that ran through the middle of the hut,
opposite the kitchen and cook top area - where the bunks were. We
danced. In a synchronicity that went beyond normal limits.  'How is it that
you know where I'm movin?' Brad said breathlessly

I lifted my head off his shoulder and looked into his eyes 'Because you're
the one moving me babe' I said. And he was. He was cradle-lifting me so
tight that my feet were just a centimetre or two of the ground but his
strength and my weight was such that he could do that without noticing.

Stay High came on. The words I gotta stay high all the time to keep off my
mind swirled through the semi or considerably - at that point I couldn't
tell one from the other - consciousness.

Brad didn't sit me back down in my own seat. He knew that after drinking as
much as I had I would rather cuddle into him especially after the melting
into his body while he floated me as best he could through the. Besides
there was no guessing that he wanted me soaking into his body just as much
as I wanted to be.

I think he just enjoyed the feeling of my body - up the swamp, in the hut
we grew up in - against his that he couldn't really help doing everything
in his power to ensure that my body was against his. Even if at this stage
in the evening it was a mostly unconscious process. The unabating surge of
sensation and swirling hurricane of emotion gluing us together in the chair
at the head of the table. The alcohol added the guttural roar of a tiger to
everything we felt shuddering through our veins reverberating through our
brains. That moment in that chair was incredibly powerful, the kind of
moment that even if the place had been full of people to us it would still
have only been just us. We were caught up in each other's spell we were
forgetting breaths and our hearts beat to the same rhythm. Connecting on a
level beyond words. Beyond action. Beyond the chemistry of the brain. It
was spiritual. A blending of two souls. A silent talking in a wordless
language. Pure connection. I fell asleep that way so deeply connected to
Brad. Mixed up in the best way with everything that he was and would
become. Drifting into the darkness of sleep I felt his arms hold me tighter
and his lips touch my forehead.

Chapter Four III

Having shut no curtains the previous night I awoke at sunrise as it soaked
the insides of the hut with its fresh clarity. It wasn't warm yet, the
ambient temperature I mean. I personally was amply warm what with my own
furnace sticking to my body under too many blankets. I wrestled myself out
from Brad's arms while he mumbled complaints and rolled on the floor land
on all fours far more nimbly than I expected.

I decided to make bacon and eggs, as there was no Nutribullet. Alas we were
in the bush such was the fucking way of things. I would have cooked steak
had I the knowledge how.

Unscrewing the top to the gas bottle a few turns lettings the gas flow to
the hobs I took my meds in the time between. When I eventually decided to
click the hob on enough gas had leaked out to create small explosion. The
cast iron fry pan, my precious weapon and culinary tool, was blown skywards
and an unfortunately loud BOOOOMB echoed through the hut and surrounding
bush. Several cups and empty bottles flew off the counter top and ended up
floor bound smelling of burnt eyebrows. I quickly checked making sure that
most of them were still there - yes, very good.

'Jesus FUCKING Christ WILLIAM OLIVER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO
ACCOMPLISH' Brad roared quite angrily at me as he picked me up turn the gas
bottle off at the same time.

'Bacon I was baconing' I said trying to add some humour to the situation.

Brad was furious, not a single glint of humour was to be found in his
eyes. His eyes were tumultuous and raging.

'Look at you you're dosed out of your mind. What made you think this was
OK? For someone so incredibly smart this was fucking dumb William. It's
fuel for fuck sake, what the fuck would have happened if you fell asleep or
wondered off. Jesus' he ran his hands through his hair looking around at
all the cookware and cutlery on the floor '...I can smell your burnt
fucking hair'

He looked at me still in the throws of wild anger 'Just go outside and talk
to Pip or something Will. I'll clean all this shit up'

I didn't say anything, what was there to say. It could quite easily have
been far worse given the fact I medicated myself. I did ridiculous things
without thinking sometimes. I should have done one or the other and it
would have been fine. What if did walk off? The gas would have keep Brad
asleep permanently.

No wonder he was furious. I'd never seen him that furious before. Then
again I hadn't seen him in such an explosive, literally, situation before
either. The point was that it was my fault yet somehow knowing Brad he
would eventually turn it around to at least be partially his fault because
as he would say 'I should have been watching out for you instead of
sleeping' which is ridiculous as it was me not him who almost blew the
place up.

'PIP' I called out into the trees only to have he nuzzle into my leg. She
was my shadow, I don't actually know what possessed me to think she was out
in the trees to begin with. She would never leave me nor would she ever
exert that amount of effort unnecessarily.

I walked down the steps between the fronds of the imposing flax bushes that
sat rooted either side. Making my way to the jetty small black shadow in
tow I could see the swell of the river, it was peak tide. A spring tide in
fact as the water was almost equal with the boards of the jetty itself and
the boat was float peacefully next to it not beneath it as it usually did.

I figured given the fact Pip wouldn't have any banks to climb it would be a
good time to let her have a swim. So I rolled my track pants up and sat on
the edge of the jetting dangling my legs in the murky water throwing sticks
for Pip to retrieve. She was excelling and loving not only our interaction
but also the buoyancy of the water the release it gave her joints. She
eventually shooks off directly beside me, as usual, then lay down and
started knowing away at the stick quite over swimming out into the river
and content to lie next to me chewing her 'prey'.

I always wore a watch, it was a beautiful large silver one my parents had
bought me for my 21st, however when up the swamp time didn't really
matter. Nothing needed doing by a certain time if it needed doing then that
was all, it needed doing and would be done when one felt like doing
it. Time had no power over day or night in the bush. It was a freedom
difficult to describe but incredibly liberating to experience.

Thus I had no idea how long I sat swishing my feet in the river with Pip
chewing her stick next to me. It was have been a while because Brad came
down in his cut off jeans and sat next to me dipping his legs into the
river.

We were silent. It wasn't awkward but it was salient in that we both
noticed it. Brad moved his foot under the blur of the muddy water so that
it touched mine then wrapped his leg around mine scooting closer.

It was unlike him to be at a loss for words but then again despite my
accidental near death explosion it was unlike him to be so furious. I would
likely have responded the same way if I had his nature. I wasn't angry at
him at all, some part of me liked that he had enough guts to stand up to me
when I did foolish things.

He rested his head on my shoulder sighing deeply aching.

'This means we're breaking up doesn't it' he said suddenly as if to him it
made perfect sense yet to me it seemed the most ridiculous conclusion one
could possibly come to after such an event.

'No, it doesn't B. Not at all. I would yell at me for that. Why would you
think that?' I said quietly

'Because I know you don't mean to do things like that Wills and I was
vicious. It's a side of me you haven't seen and I figured you'd never wanna
see it again you know' his voice was so quiet the fucking river was making
more noise.

'We all have flaws. You might think that you raging like that is something
bad but I know where it comes from. You do to. You. Well you're just
extremely protective and the shock of waking to an explosion created by and
making a victim of the guy you love would make most people furious. Don't
feel bad about it. I'm sorry for almost blowing us up. Truly, this is about
what I did wrong not you ya dick so don't sulk' I said.

Brad held my face as tenderly as he did the first night he kissed me except
this time he was sober. He looked so deeply into my eyes I felt I was being
plugged into something and his lips when they touched mine it was with the
softness so distinctive of Brad. It was one of the things I loved about
him. His ability to love with such ferocity but kiss and touch with an
agonising tenderness that was raw like I was the single most precious thing
in his existence. And the way he looked at me confirmed exactly that.

'You know Will. I'm so lucky I found you again' he said. The pain in his
voice drew my arms around him;

'...I guess it sounds crazy but I actually thought that rage was the end of
us'

'Death is the only thing that will be the end of us. Now let this be the
end of this' I said kissing his cheek '...let us enjoy our time up here and
you can do the cooking OK. Or at least be in control of turning the hobs on
and off' I laughed derisively at myself. Brad smiled perking up,
thankfully.

I threw Pip's sick back in the river and waited until just as she dropped
it back beside me before swiftly standing and stepping back so Brad got
drenched by he dog-water-shake. That was the final pull he needed to get
him out of his funk. He jumped backwards cursed a few times but laughed and
chased me back into the hut realising it was my plan the entire time.

Aside from the fact that I had incited Brad's rage by almost blowing up my
families cherished bush hut, harbourer of more than two and a half decades
worth of memories, I knew that Brad hadn't been in a relationship
before. This entire thing was new to him. As much as he seemed to take to
it like a professional there were still bound to be things that would knock
him off his game. Like today's explosion reaction for example, it's quite
easy to see how he would think screaming at me like he did would scare me
off.

Though I was not so new to relationships I was new to the devastating love
I felt in this one. Brad was a fire in my veins that that pulsed through my
body with each beat of my heart.

'Least Pip just smells like river water now and not dead body' Brad said
putting the kettle on the hob that was function as normal.

 'True, I'm pretty much immune to her smell' I said casually '...it's when
she becomes sticky that it is problematic as she is un-pat-able'. I looked
her over and petted her damp head. Lovely head.

'Its refreshing to see someone let their dog just be a dog without the
floral smelling shampoos and over-grooming. I always thought that if the
human race was enslaved and our enslavers kept us as pets also that like
being dressed up in their non-human clothing and forced to behave in their
non-human ways would suck' Brad said. The whistle of the kettle settled as
he lifted it of the stovetop and poured the water into our cups. Steam
flowed off the water as it flowed into the cups and continued to rise from
the cups as they sat waiting to be stirred.

'It never used to be that way' I added collecting the cup from Brad's out
stretched arm. It was hard not to notice how his skin depressed around the
edges of even the muscles in his arms as they protruded that much. Probably
a bit dehydrated but still Brad's musculature was always visible and his
smooth coffee-olive coloured skin from working outside every day hugged his
body tight enough to make a display of even his veins.

He looked over the top of his mug as he sipped 'Yeah, how did it used to
be'

I shook my head 'It's a relatively long story. Before I was appropriately
diagnosed and medicated I had this neurosis about looking after Pip to the
extreme. I had a dog cookbook that I used high quality ingredients to hand
make her every meal and Zip-Lock bag her future meals. I also used to wash
her bedding every other day with bleach, washing powder and fabric
softer. I would bake her a birthday cake every year. She would be bathed in
strawberry shampoo and boysenberry conditioner weekly. I would even let Dad
call her a dog because that is technically the name for a male canine and
bitch is the female name so I trained my own father to her either Pip or
bitch'

Brad did not seem at all surprised but was laughing away to himself 'I
imagine this coincided with you not coming up the swamp. It sounds like the
same kind of neurotic attitude your brother spoke of frequently. Apparently
you used to be extraordinarily vicious back then. Now that is something I
can't imagine'

I nodded 'I was excruciatingly vicious. I'm glad we get on so well given
what I put the poor boy through. My whole family actually.'

Brad tilted his head 'Babe you don't blame yourself for that right? It's
the past and you were incredibly sick'

'I blame myself for it but I don't feel guilty for the exact reason you
just gave me, I was sick then. The sickest I have ever been, nobody knew
what was going on. There was an un-medicated bipolar teenager flipping out
in every which way' I said

'What we do today boy' Brad said swamp like.

Shrugging I thought 'Dunno, I think we should chuck the waders on and go
for a walk out the back into the pond'

'Sounds legit. Pip can swim beside us. We can check out what needs spraying
for next season' he said

You know how sometimes you just all of the sudden realise you're smiling
like an idiot. I was experiencing one of those moments.

'What's got you smiling Wills?' Brad asked

'That fulla sitting opposite me' I said

Brad smiled back 'This fulla has been sitting here for a while and you only
just got that awe-struck Wills-gone-goofy smile on your face. What did I
say?'

What the fuck is this Wills-gone goofy. I will find the pan the I blew off
the gas hob in the earlier explosion and strike him with it should he ever
say that again.

'You. Dick head. Just the way you actually do assume a future with
myself. And the fact you plan on shooting with us. You are pretty much
saying your leaving your hut for this one. You have left so much for me and
I really have left nothing.'

Brad just shrugged 'Well yeah, all of that is true. But you are worth
it. More than worth it Wills. Do not be forgetting that shit. Nothing in
existence is more important to me than you, not even myself. Which might be
a tad unhealthy but I really don't give a fuck because I am in love with
you and I love you. All that you are I love. You know, our love story is
different to most but it's ours so who gives a fuck'

Breath taken away momentarily I was indeed surprised by the emotionality
and depth of Brad's response. But then again he was prone to such spillings
of feeling and emotion. I just had had to get used to the often
unexpectedness of them. As when someone you love tells you while looking
directly I your eyes something like that it can be, shall we say,
paralysing.

Walking out to where Brad had hung our pairs of waders we squeezed into
them. Well, more like Brad squeezed into his and I slipped into mine.

'Jesus Brad, you fit the like a glove a week ago. If the spirit of the
child named Revlon is right then you gain muscle mass faster than the
average human gains weight on a high sugar diet. There are people who would
take one look at your gorgeous face and kill you for that' I said

Brad proceeded to choke on his roar laugh and fall off the deck still
pulling his left wader up.

'Where...' he said between breaths '...the fuck...' inhaling again he got
back up on the deck '...do you come up with that shit. Mother fucker Wills,
for the unprepared gentleman it is certainly quite humours'

It was my turn to laugh. Though I maintained standing composure and my rage
laugh was a maniacal cackle 'The unprepared gentleman. B that has to be one
the funniest things you have ever said in my presence, especially if you
are referring to yourself as the unprepared fucking gentleman. You look
about ready to slay a wild boar' I said. I was going to add '...and
stunning while you do it' but that would defeat the purpose of my
statement.

He took a conciliatory breath 'William as you should be aware by now while
my rough yet jaw dropping gorgeous exterior may look at though I lack the
sensibilities to be a gentleman I am most gentlemanly.'

Ruffling my hair he added '...when it comes to you that it. Everyone else
just gets the rough jaw dropping gorgeous Brad' he laughed to him self.

In that moment I think even more than all the other moments I had thought
the same thing I realised. Yup. Bradley Taylor was mine for life. We
happened have developed in this world in such away that our mutual and
mutually exclusive life events had shaped us into the perfect suit for one
another. I was glad for that mornings half-fight as a result of my gas
explosion because it at least showed that despite the extraordinary
suitability of us as a couple we had and would still experience
disagreements and from them growth. If it were to be honey and roses the
entire time not only would it be boring but also it couldn't possibly be
maintained as that is an unreality. We needed to push each other. Test each
other. And let those times of conflict be a reminder not only that is our
relationship functioning as it should but the resolution of the conflict
will teach us how to better understand each other and in turn create a
stronger bond and better future. So that sermon is over, back to the
chilled action.

Waders in New Zealand basically meant neoprene/plastic/watertight-material
that went from the waist down shaped like pants joining into gumboots so
that the entire thing when worn like pants would stop one getting
wet. Obviously the gumboots were permanently and water-tightly affixed to
whatever the waterproof material made the pant part. Varied by price.

'I give you that Bradley; you are most certainly a gentleman in most all
aspects of dealing with me. The sweetest kind. Save for the bedroom - you
have proven to be most ungentlemanly given the right incentive' I said

Brad coughed 'Yeah and it seems you always give me the right incentive'

I shrugged 'Yes, yes indeed I do'

Brad was already walking off around the back of the hut to the waterline at
the willows where the trek to the pond began.

Unaware that I could here his reply he said softly to himself mostly as it
sounded like an affirmation '...one day, you'll be standing in front of me
and I will hear you say those last two words again'

I ran them through my head I do. Then in a manner most unbefitting of my
usual graceful self I tripped over my forward stepping foot and face
planted the lawn.

Brad was laughing from the willow line where he was waiting.

'So the graceful one falls' he yelled at me happily

I rolled my eyes. You'd fucking trip over if you heard that for fuck sake I
thought regaining my upright composure and continuing forward.  The thing
was that I wasn't actually freaking out. The opposite, I was quite glee
ridden at the idea Brad thought about things like that happening one day. I
was a ridiculous romantic to the core. But upon initially hearing it my
brain kind of stopped focusing on legs for a bit. You know. Bloke makes
obscure reference to marriage guy he's dating trips over. Usual stuff.

Making it to him with my added shadow in little time the look on my face
gave little confusion as what recent event would not be discussed.

The bush was free of the pulse of gas guzzling corporate world and the most
prominent noise was the swishing of our legs through the water. Pip's
swimming was remarkably quiet.

'Don't you just love the quiet Wills' Brad said '...it's not the kind of
quiet where for it to be this quiet something must be wrong like at
home. But the peaceful quite of nature that is supposed to be there'

'Yeah B...' I looked up around at the willows and although their branches
swooped down around us they still towered up into the sky '...the silence
of this place soaks up the roar of hell screaming inside'

'What?'

Brad continued to look at me waiting for a response.

'When things are not the best nature has a way of making it better' I said

'No, you said something considerable less Buddhist parable and more death
metal lyric. Do you walk around with the roar of hell inside?' he asked
incredulous.

'Sometimes. It's nothing unusual, let's not talk about it.'

Accepting that once said I would in fact not talk about it Brad continued
on pushing through the green Duck Weed that had grown on top of the water.

'We'll need to spray this place pretty hard if the duck weed is out this
far' he said off handedly.

He was right of course. I'd have to let Dad know so the appropriate
arrangements could be made.

Brad wasn't quite finished with his train of thought '...we could shoot
home grab the spray and come back, it'd only take an hour or so and we'd
back and we could get it done'

Always one to get shit done Brad was at it again. Looking to me for
confirmation of his idea his face happily looked over at me.

'Actually B, you are right. Usually I would prefer to relax and adapt my
mind but this will help Sam and Dad and give us something to do' I said

Trudging out almost as quickly as the idea had come we all barded the boat
and left for the main jetty up the river. We would tie the boat off and
lift the motor taking the pin out so it was unusable. It was trusted that
when boats were left at the jetty like that they were to be left alone. We
were in the last generation where that rule was respected, eve so we took
everything valuable off the boat and locked the trailer.

On the road home Brad placed his hand on my thigh. I had the feeling he'd
wanted to do it since he had turned the ignition.

'You think you're Dad will mind me getting involved with your fulla's
pond?' he asked

'Nah. Most likely the opposite B the more help he better in his eyes. He's
already adopted you back into the hut in the weird way that he does -
knowing shit about things unspoken and such.' I said.

His demeanour picked up after that. I can imagine Dad being intimidating
the man looked terrifying. The damn gospel truth. Even the manliest of men
sat first down before Dad he was just that kind of man. Strangers quite
literally moved before him. Alas Brad having to face him as my partner,
what a task that would be and had been in its subtle ways so far.

Chapter Four IV

Back on the way up the swamp spray gear on board and Pip's head out the
back window ears flopping in the wind.

'I didn't expect your Dad to be so happy about that, he was looking at me
like I was a miracle come true or something' Brad said unable to hide his
boyish delight.

'That's Dad I guess. He's busy so is Sam we're helping out quite a bit' I
said

Brad was incredibly pleased with himself as the entire endeavour was his
idea and Dad's abundance of praise for the idea was fuel to his fire. The
entire drive back he had a face splitting smile that could have dropped the
heterosexual and gay populace of New Zealand.

Nobody had touched the boat, which pleased me. It showed the old unspoken
laws of the swamp were still in place to some extent at least.

Brad leapt out of the Ute once parked. I do not use that term in detrition
of linguistic opportunity I really do mean LEAPT out of the Ute. I was
actually quite fun to watch him. It reminded me of when I used to play Sims
3 on PS3 while on the exer-cycle. I would pump out 2 hours on the bike
sitting up-right playing Sims and whenever all of their needs were met and
their little inspiration was also full they would become INSPIRED and quite
literally the entire way the otherwise typical moving Sim moved would
transform into this bounding happy jovial almost crazy happy doing random
flips Sim with sparkling green diamonds of energy floating up out of
them. All those hours on that bike I got far too psychologically invested
in that game so took to running. I digress again. That entire point was to
illustrate the similarities between a semi crazy flipping about striding
around all happy Sim and Brad who had unloaded all the gear into the boat.

There wasn't actually that much in terms of different objects as Dad had
the spray unit and different spray in the clip shut fish bins. They we
bright yellow with the name of the fishing company that his mate worked for
in which he had swindled them off.

'You're doing that thing Wills' Brad said over the boat motor

'And that thing, it would be?'

'Losing yourself inside yourself. You've been more distant as the day goes
by' he slowed slightly so he didn't have to yell

'...I think I've probably spoken more complete sentences to your Dad all
day than you. I can see it in your eyes. The shimmer goes away from like
it's being sucked back into your head and you kinda look vacant especially
compared to usual Wills. And then you go into vital word mode' Brad had now
reached the hut and we were tied on so the last part of what he was saying
could be said without noise from the boat's motor.

'Vital word mode?' I asked

'See you're doing it now. You're not even asking about the rest of what I
said, you would usually have a fucking book worth speak about something
like that but you just say the least amount possible usually a question
form so I have to answer and talk' Brad held and warm loving look on his
face. Not one of concern, he knew this was just my nature. I think it
looked more like he just wished he could make it better but knew he
couldn't accepted the fact loved me anyway and carried on.

 'That is true. I haven't noticed only because it's easy to be in silence
around you. I can just be my own individual self and be at peace with
you. You know what'll fix it? Food and thhHHIISSS' diving into the river
the temperature change made me feel for my ancestors. But it came through
my conscious and unconscious mind with thunder, lightning and the roar of a
God I had no intention of encountering again. Clarity came back with crisp
ice cold fury and well...two perfectly defined arms encircling my waist
pulling me upwards.

Inhaling my lungs full of air upon breaching the surface with Brad holding
me into his chest I shook the water from head.

He laughed 'That was 90% protective instinct and 10% me just wantin to get
all up on you'. Damn boy thought he was not only the hottest shit but the
funniest shit. I give him the former.

'I'm definitely one for this kind of heroic gesture my man' I said,
breathless for some reason. I believed the 90% protective part because he
was still wearing everything. Had it been for any lesser of a reason he
would taken his boots off. '

Brad his eyes were electric as usual filling my body with their ceaseless
current and charge. Happily noting that I was back with the living in terms
of mental clarity he kissed me soft for s split second the hard and full of
breath. We sunk back beneath the water almost angry in our hunger for each
other.

Brad's cock was hard against his cut-offs as we writhed in the water
emerging to breath again. He had a wicked grin and I knew I'd do what ever
he asked.

Swimming us back up the river to keep even with jetty and make up for the
tidal drag of the water we were submerged in Brad kissed my forehead and
held his lips there.

'I wanna try something?' he said parting his lips from my forehead

'Yeah, what?' I looked expectantly into his effervescent green eyes

'I want you to go under the water and breath out your air and I'll come
down and you can have mine. I know air is converted to CO2 so no need for
the organic chemistry lecture but..' he look incredibly shy - it was sweet
- '...I just want to be able to say that I shared a breath with you in
place there was none to be had. Plus in all honesty...' his voice changed
to one of matter-of-fact oh-well authority '...it appeals to my kinkish
side'

Fuck. I was in. I loved the idea, sharing a breath with the man I loved
under the water of River of the Swamp that after the rain was amazingly
fresh.

'You don't know how much I love that idea B. Let's do it' I said taking a
breath and plunging downwards as low as I could go without needing to pop
my ears.

Brad was not at all far behind. I let my breath out in a burst of gigantic
bubbles surging upwards. Brad appeared through them giving me the
shivers. He was too attractive sometimes for his own good.

Eyes open under the water connected to each other through the blur of the
water he help my gaze holding me with such God Damn tenderness it fucking
near made me cry. That he could be so fucking beautifully sweetly tender
and gentle even under water as his breath passed into my lungs and the
warmth of his gorgeous lips soaked into mine was a sublime treasure of
divinity.

Bursting back into the air both of us breathing in lung fulls of fresh air
and settling treading water in-front of one another Brad was talking with
his body and all I could feel was a yearning in my own body for another
kiss filled with his air. For some reason the delicate intimacy of it coked
me up. It had me hooked that much was obvious because Brad placed a hand on
of my head and gently pulled me into another kiss and as he spun me around
in the water I breathed in more of his air. Warm and hot as it passed into
my body.

'Fuck Bradley Taylor you...' I took a breath of fresh air '...are fucking
too much to handle sometimes. You surpass even the most farfetched ideals
of romance I have imagined in my life. I honestly, honestly did not think
any human could do that.'

'Always a pleasure to surpass your expectations William and even more so to
surpass your farfetched imaginings. God knows yours imaginings are quite
extraordinary to begin with' Brad said

As intoxicating as it was to swim with Brad Pip was now also river bound so
the whole family was soaked. Even though Brad had long since thrown his
boots far up above the jetty he and I were still fully dressed and I was
becoming too cold even for him to keep warm so we climbed up the jetty
ladder and trudged inside.

I lit the fire. Something I automatically did at home, at my parents place,
up the swamp - anywhere there a functioning fireplace, wood and I was
cold. Dad had taught me from a young age how to light fire well and it had
stuck with me. Soon enough it was raging the heat spread quickly through
the hut.

I still had to stand almost directly in front of it in dry clothes to
return to normal temperature. I was a fire sitter. You know those people
that back right the fuck up on a fireplace or heater like it's snowing.

Brad was wearing a loose fitting pair of white Stag track pants. The kind
that had no elastic at the bottom of the pant leg and a red singlet, which
I am sure he picked out specifically for my pleasure. Then I remembered I
had packed his pack and included that singlet for that reason so could
hardly hold it against him.

'You know how to mix the sprays up Wills?' he asked turning the hob on
again to make a hot drink for me as he had a beer in his other hand.

'Kind of. Dad has instructions written in marker pen on each container but
I usually just go for mega poison little chance of weed survival' I replied

'Yeah I have seen the devastation left around your place, I think you
actually killed a tree with whatever spray cocktail you use Wills. It was
falling into the creek beside your deck' he said grinning at me 'Yeah that
was sad. The wind picked up and that is unfortunately the last thing you to
happen when you are using almost pure poison and zero water' I said

Shaking his head 'I'll mix the spray then, we can't be killing of the
native flora just the invasive shit'

Brad handed me a herbal tea. The thoughtful beast had actually grabbed my
teas before we left of which I was oblivious. And I was thinking I was the
one switched on to the whole packing of important things. It was a
reflection of his thoughtfulness. Amongst his excitement to leave on this
adventure he still thought of the small things I enjoyed and made sure they
were packed. God knows if I was to consume coffee or alcohol the entire
time I would a fucking wild lunatic. More than usual anyway.

I sipped my tea and sat on the edge of the deck with Pippin snuggling into
the side of my thigh. I chatted away to her in Finnish for quite some time
while Brad dutifully read Dad's spray to water ratios and mixed the tank
up. We had a pump powered by a twelve-volt car battery that propelled the
spray a fair distance making easy work of an open area like a pond. The
tank, pump and battery sat in a small punt that was left under the hut for
spraying. We would wear waders one of us pushing the punt the other
spraying.

'All done, we just need to wait for the water to siphon into the spray tank
out of the hut water tank' Brad said fastening the latches on the spray
fish bin.

'Kiitos. Olet kaunis kaveri.' I said easily, forgetting I was addressing
Brad ad not Pip who as a dog had no idea what I meant in English anyway.

'And that translated to the only language I speak other than your body is?'

'Um Thanks you're a beautiful guy' I said '...that's the literal sense but
figuratively, which is how I meant it, it means thanks you beautiful bloke'

Brad shrugged 'It sounds sweeter when you say it in Finnish. No wonder
people get confused learning new languages. I'm surprised you have taught
Pip commands in it instead of having lengthy one sided conversations with
her in it.' He laughed at his own humour.

I regarded him casually 'Well until you have a dog of your own Brad you
will never be able to understand the silent way they speak back to you. The
frequency of their existence is always interaction with your own
frequency. It is a constant communication even if sometimes if use a
different language verbally the feelings are the same and that is what she
picks up on'

His head fell the smallest fraction 'Yeah well. Well I kinda always wanted
a dog, ya know? A lab for sure and not just for retrieving ducks but to be
my buddy. I was just never allowed one growing up then where used to live
up until recently the section was to small for a Lab and I had no time to
give to properly raise one.'

'You know B. I'm getting a new pup at the end of the year, I've finally
come up on the wait list for this amazing kennel that's breeds the same
English stock as Pip. They don't push their bitches to breed and their
puppies are immaculate. Pip came from there actually. That is beside the
point, you are more than welcome to pick the pup and raise him or her Brad
styles' I said. All of it was true. I had wanted a new Puppy so that they
could learn some of Pip's traits and she would have a puppy to play
with. It had been planned well before I had my reunion with Brad but his
admission seemed the perfect time to announce it.

Cue child on Christmas morning. Eyes popping and actually jumping around
Brad was ecstatic.

'YUS! I accept fatherhood of future Puppy. How much do they cost - it
sounds weird to say that - I don't care how much anyway - I wish it was now
- fuck this is awesome Wills - how is it you are legit the best boyfriend
partner future husband ever' he coughed himself to silence looking
terrified.

Looking like he had admitted cold blooded murder of an infant child he
immediately started making excuses for the future husband mention.

'...I mean we don't have to get married ha ha ah I'm just psyched about the
puppy that's probably why I said that' he was looking everywhere but at me.

'So you don't want to be my future husband?' I offered

Sweeping his eyes into mine 'I do' he said shyly '...do you'

'I do' I dove up onto him wrapping my legs around his waist and arms around
his neck kissing him '...looks like we've already said our I Dos we're
stuck with each other now'

Whispering into my ear 'Just because I know you will marrying me doesn't
mean when the time is right at some point down the tract of our
relationship I won't propose properly in the most beautiful way that you
deserve. Though for now I think we can just be happy knowing that we are
forever each others. A proposal really would stir things up with the
relatives' Brad said still with his face splitting smile

'I heard you this morning saying that one day I would be in front of you
saying I Do and be honest I would say it to you anytime, I would marry you
now because I know I will be with you forever. But legalities like that
have stigma and time associations. We can wait. Though you're welcome to
get me a ring for the empty ring finger so all those guys chasing me know
I'm taken' I laughed as I said the last bit but Brad's eyes blacked over.

'You are right. There needs to be some physical symbol on your sweet body
that lets people know that you are taken. I'll get you a pre-engagement
ring babe. We should get them for each other. Like a non-Christian
commitment ring' Brad had forgotten about the overflowing siphon which I
bent in half to switch off.  '...The first rings should be basic titanium
rings to show commitment and monogamy to each other. Then well that will
your surprise'

I looked at my ring finger imagining the first ring glistening in its
rightful position.

'Don't get to carried away Wills, you've at the very least got to wait
until we return to get our commitment ones. Let's not get caught up in this
and forget to spray' Brad said

I tied Pip up inside so she wouldn't be swimming in spray. Happy to just
chill near the fire she lay down and followed us out with her eyes not
actually moving her head.

Brad load the tank and spray unit into the punt symmetrically so as that it
wouldn't tip over and walked forward leading the way. I wadered onwards
behind him pushing the punt it was an easy task, buoyant on the water it
slid along smoothly with hardly any effort.

Brad full on trudging out front basically tore a path for me anyway. He was
unstoppable that boy. Water up to waist in the centre of the pond he asked
me to switch the pump on wand walked outwards with the spray cable. Once
the pressure built up he systematically drenched every single part of the
entire pond and surrounding area in spray. With enough expectorant to get
through even the waxiest weeds. That place would be a tomb for weeds in a
week.

Pulling the punt backwards as he sprayed his way out meaning a path would
be there when we next arrived. Ducks loved clear water and that had now
been provided in surplus by Brad and his liberal spraying - yet he made
specific effort to miss the natives and tree. Adept with his manoeuvrings
he had completed the task with such efficiency that nor Cory or Dad
together or apart could have achieved it.

Though it was still green and lively now by the time we left for home for
good it would for sure be showing signs of death and some photo evidence
would be great so I had taken photos of the entire system that had taken
place. Dad would be fucking delighted deeply. He always felt jobs like this
weighed down on his shoulders while he worked the calving season. Now it
had been completed to perfectionist standard a la Brad.

Storing the punt back under the hut and all the equipment back in it's fish
containers I noticed Brad stunk of spray. Doing it rather irresponsibly in
his singled he needed a shower to get the poison off.

He's want to dive back in the river with the hopes of another romantic
escapade and I too would love nothing more than diving in with him. But I
geared the shower pump up and califont up instead running a
warm-semi-sizzling shower for him.

'You think I'm getting in there by myself. No way my graceful hunk of
gorgeous human. Come on' he said stripping me and pulling me in with him. I
darted out for a raw lemon and cut it so I could alkalize his skin with
it's juice.

'Wadda doin?' he asked as I squeezed the lemon juice over his body and
rinsed it off with soap.

'You needed something detoxifying and alkalizing to get rip of the poison
on your skin. Now you smell like yourself with the hint of flowers' I said
smiling kissing his back muscles.

'God Wills you always thinking about my health. I don't think anyone has
ever cared so much about my actual full health as you' he said each word
dripping with love.

'Well I want you alive long time hunk bloke so get used to it' I said
rinsing the last bit of foam off his body.

'You go for gold, do what you gotta do. I wanna be alive with you for as
long as possible and if you can keep me well longer then I ain't
complaining' Brad said relaxed. The citrus really did soothe tired muscles
and his were exceptionally tired.

'Arms up' I said holding his towel

Brad looked at me quizzically but abided raising his arms. I gently and
lovingly dried him off from top to bottom then put him to bed naked and
high. Blazed he snoozed and I cozied into him and relaxed into existential
thought.

The intimate act of drying Brad off and getting him blazed naked then
dressing him and giving him and massage rolled his consciousness in a tight
wrap of sleep and relation. Though he wasn't truly peaceful in bed until I
joined him to think existentially. As soon as I was in the bed his
automatic big spoon mechanisms took over and in unconscious arms pulled me
back into his chest and hard cock. His nose nuzzling into the back of neck
and warm breath tingling my skin.

I guess my existential thoughts were more based on Brad that afternoon. His
body and his ways captured different aspects of imagination. As did our
future wedding. I could not help but imagine what that would be, perfect
with our character reflected in it.

I remembered our earlier dip in the river and his heroic boot laden attempt
to save my mind cleansing dive then our kisses and under and above water
breath transfer kissing. One of the most romantic and swamp task
accomplished days I'd had. Thanks wholly to the man drenching me with his
body