Feedback is welcome. Jakob's story has some dark times. Longtime readers know light is at the end of the tunnel from Hi, I'm Lance. There are a lot of experiences out there in the world. Many people from the community have had to face a lot. Jakob's story is one of those.
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19
"How long did you room with this man?" Trevor asked.
"Christobal? He moved out after
six months. He moved in with a cousin. He only worked the restaurant a few
weeks after that. I was less than two months from turning 19, and I asked
around at work. No one needed a place to stay, but a server had a brother who
did. I didn't know him. His name was Timothy. It was not a good fit."
"Why so?"
"Timothy was a drug user. With my Christian upbringing, that
was foreign territory to me. I wasn't comfortable with it at all. But. I was
making rent. And the car payments. But as the new year started, I now had to
cover insurance. Financially, it was tough. By my 19th birthday in April, I was
starting to get worried."
"What happened?"
"It's funny how holidays are like milestones for me. I tend
to remember events in relationship to the holidays they are close to. Timothy
and I were sitting on the couch. He thankfully didn't smoke pot in the
apartment, but he had come in from outside. I could smell it on his clothes. He
asked why I looked down, and I told him it was my birthday. Like Christmas, it
was rather lonely. I can say one thing, when Timothy was high, he was rather
polite. He talked to me and listened to me while he was stoned, seeming to show
empathy to my disappointing birthday as well as my financial plight. As we sat
on the couch — which was nicer than Christolbal's —
he grabbed a throw pillow and placed it on his lap. Before I knew it, he was
yanking my arm to pull me down to lay across his waist. He started going on and
on how the future will have a way of working itself out. While he was doing
that, his hand was rubbing my shoulder and arm in a comforting way. I was
slightly freaked out, but at the same time, it was the nicest thing about my
birthday."
I wasn't attracted to Timothy. The
whole pot and drugs thing was a turnoff. For some odd reason, this tender
moment touched me. His hand kept comforting me. It moved from my arm to my
chest. I found myself hard as a rock, even though he hadn't implied anything
sexual. Timothy was an interesting character. I really couldn't figure him out.
I had gone to my bedroom when I
heard a knock on my door.
"What was I thinking, man? It's your
birthday. You're 19. You're still underage. Come have a drink with me!"
Startled, I stared at him. Timothy
was only in boxers. He had a thin frame. His chest was hairless, but his hair
was pretty long. His beard had become a bit unruly too.
"Wha ...
where?"
"Here! The kitchen, the living room,
whatever. Want a beer? A Jack and Coke? What to go smoke with me?"
"No."
Not wanting to completely ignore the
thoughtful gesture, I opted for a drink.
"Um. A Jack and Coke might work."
We sat in the kitchen. He handed me
the drink. I could tell he had smoked some more. He seemed even more stoned. I
took a sip. I actually liked my drink.
"So. You're gay. I know. Do you ever
date, dude?"
"I wish. I don't have anyone
interested. Plus, I'd have no money to spend."
"Man, that sucks." He got lost in
thought. "You're going without then, huh?"
"Without ..."
"Sex, man! C'mon. A man's gotta have
sex."
"I'm okay on my own. I'd love to
fall in love again, but ..."
"Wait. Again? Tell me more."
"Ah. Anson. He was my first love.
Well, my only love. He kissed me in high school and from there ... we fell in
love. Until we weren't. But it was great for a while."
"So what happened?"
"I'm not sure. He seemed to pull
away near the end. We became like brothers. Oh, I was living at his house. My
family kicked me out."
"Shit! That's fucked up. Because you
were gay?"
"Exactly."
"What total shit. So ... you moved in
with him?"
"His family took me in."
"So you were fucking your boyfriend
in the same house his parents were sleeping?!"
"We didn't fuck, but ... yeah, we did
have sex in the house."
"Whoa."
Timothy got up to grab the chips off
the counter. I noticed the conversation had started to get his dick hard. It
pressed against the light cotton. He crunched on a few chips. When he turned
around, it caused his dick to pop out the fly. He wasn't erect but plumping up.
To my surprise, he pulled it out and fondled it a couple of seconds and then
repositioned back in his boxers. In his state, I'm not sure he even knew I was
watching him do it.
"Fucking men is so awesome," he
said.
"Timothy, you sleep with women."
"I sleep with anybody, man. Love is
love. It all feels good."
He sounded like a hippie from the `60s.
Or what I had seen and heard of them.
"A man's ass is definitely tighter.
I'm just saying."
I didn't want to confess that I
hadn't fucked anyone. Why would anyone care?
"I know you need it man. If you ever
want, just ask me. We'll fuck."
"Uhh ... thanks. I kind of like it to
mean something though. You know, I'd like to have feelings for the person."
"How sweet are you? You're an
adorable dude. Someone will see you are a catch eventually."
"Maybe it will be a rich rock star
who can pay for everything," I said sarcastically.
For a brief moment I pictured
Timothy's cock inside me. I'm not sure why. I never really pictured Anson and I
doing it. I was momentarily drawn to his kindness even if not his looks.
I finished my drink. I just wanted
to go to bed at that point. I got up and walked over to his chair. He was
sitting at the time. I gave him a hug.
"Thanks for rescuing my birthday," I
said.
Back in my room, I slept naked that
night. I thought of being fucked by Timothy again. I let my finger tease my
hole. I wondered if I would even like it. The whole act just seemed so strange,
if not a little disgusting. I stroked my hard-on while I thought about it. Just
as I was about to come, I let my finger go in. I gasped, and cum started
splattering my chest.
"Life took a harsh turn shortly thereafter. I watched money
drain from my wallet. Rent and car payments and then insurance took most of it.
Right after my birthday, my car made a funny sound. Then the light came on the
dashboard. Before I knew it, a car repair took most of what I had. I had tried
to save as much of the Petriello's money as I could,
but it was being whittled away. I asked for more shifts, picked up extras from
others when I could. The restaurant knew I was a hard worker. That helped a
little. But I felt trapped."
"At that age, I'm sure you had not established any credit."
"Right. A credit card was years away in my future. I had a
checking account. It rarely got above $200 once rent was paid."
"Yet this Timothy ... as you said used drugs ... he didn't have
financial issues?"
"No. His job ... what was it again? I believe he had some kind
of office job where ... I.T. or something ... it was a full salary. No wife, no
kids, no pets. If he hadn't been into drugs, he could have had a much nicer
apartment. He had a nice car."
"Was there a time when drugs became an issue?"
"No and yes. I didn't like him using them, but when he did,
he was mellow. Super nice. They also made him sex crazy."
"Explain."
"He never seemed to `date,' so to speak. He would tell me
who he slept with when he did drugs with friends. His circle of friends seemed
to link drugs and sex together. When they would get stoned, they inevitably got
horny. Sometimes it was with women, sometimes with men. He just liked sex
period. With no inhibitions when high, whoever and whenever became a
possibility."
"And you two ..?"
"Yeah."
I got quiet. I didn't know how to explain this part. It was
hard to explain it to myself.
I got home from a shift at the
restaurant fairly late. The night had not gone well. I told Timothy hello when
I came in. When he looked at me, I could tell from his eyes he was completely
wasted.
"How was your night?" he asked.
"Lousy. We were slow. Tip share
wasn't nearly as large as I was hoping. I wanted to pay you back for my half of
the groceries. I'll ... I'll get it soon hopefully."
Would I? By that time, we'd need
more groceries. I didn't like money problems. I was going to have to look for
another job. Or a second job.
"You need a Jack and Coke," he said.
"Why not? After tonight, what the
heck."
I plopped down on the couch. Timothy
came from the kitchen with two drinks, one for me and a refreshed one for him.
I could smell both pot and alcohol on him.
Ten minutes later I found a second
one being placed in my hand. I wasn't a drinker, but I liked these. Not as much
as margaritas — which I hadn't had in months — but I liked them.
Timothy sat close to me on the couch.
"I have an idea. How about we just
forget what you owe me for groceries."
"What? Why? I should pay my half."
"You can make it up another way.
We'll be even."
"How?"
"Think hard. I know you haven't had
any in a while, and right now, I feel like I could use some."
"Some ..."
"Sex, man! Let's do it."
"Um. About that. If you are talking screwing,
I've never done that."
"Seriously? And you're gay?"
I slightly took offense.
"Anson and I were very affectionate,
very loving. But we never did that stuff."
"Let me tell you. You will love it."
"Do you?"
"Huh? Well, yeah. I'm suggesting it,
man."
"Which way?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Do I ... fuck you? Or the other way."
"Whoa. I've never been fucked by a
dude before. I'm always the top."
"Then how do you know I'll like it?"
"Because. Because guys do, you
know."
Then I said the most outrageous
thing I've ever said in my life. Maybe it was the alcohol talking or the lousy
night I had had. Perhaps it was because I had been thinking about fucking since
Timothy brought it up two weeks ago. I didn't even hesitate. I just said it.
"How about I fuck you tonight, and
you do me tomorrow night?"
I hardly ever used that word. I
could tell the influences of my coworkers had an effect on my life.
"Whoa. Let me think about that. Two
nights, huh?"
I was in such a bad mood; I threw
caution to the wind and just made the commitment.
"Why not?" he said, throwing his
arms in the air. "Love is love, sex is sex, pleasure is pleasure. I need
something new."
His absolute disregard for any type
of morals flabbergasted me. I was shocked at my own lack of any principles at
the moment. Definitely the alcohol. The worst part was that I was actually
relieved to not have to pay for what I owed. I had sunk so low.
We both slammed our drinks. He
grabbed my hand and pulled me into his bedroom. It had more things in it than
mine — furniture for one. It also had junk laying around. My room definitely
felt cleaner. I followed his lead. After he took off his shirt, I took off
mine. He took off his jeans, I took off mine. Then he jumped on the bed. I laid
next to him. I was hoping we didn't have to kiss; I wasn't really attracted to
him, although the recent haircut helped.
Timothy started kissing me on the
neck as he snuggled up to me. His left hand roamed all over my chest. He played
with the hair on my pecs. I liked that. His hand groped my briefs. I wasn't
hard. It was all too weird and sudden to be arousing. However, I followed suit
and let my hand feel his crotch. His dick was definitely hard and getting
harder. I got brave. I let my hand slip under the waistband. Timothy had a
bigger dick than me. Most people did. It still wasn't huge — nothing like that
obscene slab of meat in Christolbal's porn video.
Like I did with Anson, I slipped his underwear down.
"Yeah, man, that's it."
I pulled his briefs off his legs. My
hand felt his erection. I stroked it a little. I hadn't had another guy's cock
in my grip in almost a year. It felt good. I hadn't realized that I had missed
it. I was content jerking my own dick all these months.
"Nice, man," he said to me,
caressing my arm.
I felt courageous in the moment. His
dick was nice looking — cut, nice color, probably six inches, a thick vein
which I found hot for some reason. His bush was nice too. Very manly overall. I
plunged my mouth over it. I wanted it. I gave him a blowjob for a few minutes, and
I could tell he was enjoying it. His breathing and moaning was fun to observe
for a while. But then I realized if I made him come, he might want to call it
quits there. I had made up my mind I wanted to screw him.
"What do we need to do?" I asked.
"Well, since this is your first
time, I don't think a condom is called for. Let me grab my lube."
He gathered the lube and a towel,
then hit the lights. His bathroom light was still on which gave us enough
illumination to still see each other. He spread out the towel. I guessed this
was to not get anything on the bed, but I could see some stains here and there
on his sheets. I wondered why he bothered.
"This is so fresh, dude. I'm glad
you called me out on it."
I pulled my briefs off.
"Ah. You're not that big. That will
make this easier."
Swell. An indirect derogatory
comment.
"Here. Take this lube and squirt
some on your fingers."
I knelt next to him and did just
that.
"That's it. Slide those around my
hole, then gently stick a finger up my ass."
This all seemed so gross, so vile.
And yet, I couldn't wait. It was my first time at fucking.
"Oooo," he cooed as my finger went
up in him. "Wow."
I pleasured him briefly. It was fun
to see someone react to my actions, sexually.
"Now slide some all over your cock."
I squirted lubricant in my hands and
slathered my hard flesh. I liked how it felt. I thought of Anson's cum.
"Now slowly and gently stick it
inside me."
Timothy spread his legs, and his
hands lifted them in the air. I moved between them and got down on my elbows.
My dick was right in front of his hole. I balanced on one elbow so I could
position my erection. I poked it in the wrong places a couple times. I looked
down at it again. The head went in.
"Oh!" he gasped.
"Are you okay? Did I do something
wrong?"
"No. It's just new to me. Push in a
little more."
I pushed in a little more.
"Ummp."
His expression did not look happy. "Gotta relax, gotta relax, gotta relax."
"Me?"
"No. I gotta loosen my ass muscles."
I started taking mental notes for
tomorrow. I didn't think this would be so complicated.
I pushed in further. Now he moaned.
"Holy fuck! I'm being fucked. Who
would have ever thought? Fuck me, man."
I started thrusting in and out. If I
did too much, I could feel my dick almost slip out. I figured if my cock were
longer, this would be easier.
"I'm not very good at this," I
consented.
"Nonsense," Timothy said. "It feels
good. Let's shift."
He rolled on his side and then
lifted one leg in the air. I could see his exposed hole, so I moved up behind
him. I pushed my dick back into him.
"Oh, yeah, this is better," I said.
"Sure is. Fuck me, dude. Fuck my
ass, Jakob."
My arm wrapped around his chest, and
I held him to me. I was so enraptured of being involved in my first fuck that I
didn't really think about the fact I had no feelings for this man. It just felt
good. I let myself moan.
"Yeah," he said.
Moaning and groaning made it all
feel even better. He did the same. Our bodies were thrusting and writhing in
his bed. He pulled on his cock as mine sawed inside his ass.
"I never knew being fucked would
feel this good," Timothy said in surprise.
"You said I'd like it."
My cock was feeling sensations it
hadn't felt before. The newness of this sexual stimulation was a blast. It's
all I could think about. I kept pounding my hard-on inside him. Mentally, I was
wishing I could go even deeper, but I knew I was as far in as my dick would go.
But it felt good with each thrust.
"Fuck me, Jakob! FUCK my delicious
ass."
We both became aware of each other's
groans. It excited the both of us. We matched volume. I moved my head closer to
his neck. Our mouths were close as we got even more audible. It wouldn't have
surprised me if the neighboring apartment could hear us through the walls. I
would have loved it if it were me listening.
"Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah."
Timothy was definitely enjoying it.
I could tell this type of sex was
going to bring me to climax faster than a handjob or blowjob.
"I'm getting close," I said.
"Shoot in me, man. Shoot that whole
load in my ass."
Seconds later, the pressure inside
my dick blew.
"Ungh!" I screamed as my cock thrust
into him sending a major blast of cum into his passage.
"Ungh!" I screamed as a second burst
of cum shot from me.
"Ungh!" I screamed as I shot more.
"Keep coming, man. Keep coming."
"Ungh!" I said as I shoved him even
harder with my crotch. I pushed him almost a foot on the bed.
"Ohhhh yeah," I moaned as my final
missiles of seed erupted from me.
"Wow. That was really hot, dude."
"I think so too."
"Roll on your back. While you are
still hard, slide that dick back in me."
When my penis momentarily slipped
from his rear, the enflamed red flesh was coated in my cum. He positioned his
ass above me and lowered back down on my erection, which was beginning to fade.
"Ahh yeah."
He worked up and down my pole and I
fucked it up into his hole at the same time. Timothy grabbed his dick and was
violent in his stroking.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah," he
said, his neck strained, with his vision aimed at the ceiling. "This feels so
good. Fucking good."
I watched him abuse his cock with powerful
strokes. The whole situation had made me hard again. I was throbbing and
shoving and watching and loving it. I could feel my cum drip down my cock into
my bush as his ass worked up and down.
"I'm there! Fuck, yes!"
His cock sent a wonderful stream of
cum across my chin and neck. For some reason, I instinctively let my tongue
lick it from my lip. I felt more hit my hairy chest. One shot hit a nipple.
Finally the cum just oozed over his fingers and down to my navel.
"That was fucking amazing!" he said,
with a huge smile. My cock was still inside him.
"I did like it."
"Worth some bread, milk and canned
goods as far as I'm concerned." Timothy rolled off and lay next to me.
"Tomorrow night, you'll feel just
what I felt. Wow."
I was still panting, beginning to
notice the details of Timothy's room: the color of the furniture, surrealism
art on the wall, cologne on the dresser, dirty clothes in the corner. Once I
regained my breathing, I immediately had the desire to get clean. Who knew what
all was spread up and down my penis? His cum was all over me. Whiter than mine.
"Well. Thanks, Timothy. That was ...
uh, great." I had no idea what a person was supposed to say after sex. "I think
I'll go clean up."
Stepping into the shower, I was glad
to rinse all evidence off me. I felt filthy and sinful and ashamed. At the same
time, it was one of the most exciting moments of my life. When I went to bed,
my brainwaves were chaotic, but to my surprise, I fell asleep quickly.
Work was better the next night. I
had more in tip share and now I didn't even have to pay Timothy. I thought
about having sex once I got back to the apartment. I had a hard-on several
times during the shift.
I opened the door at about 11:20. As
expected, Timothy was stoned, but he had a drink waiting to place in my hand.
We had two in a very short time. He asked if I wanted a third.
I leaned over to his ear. "Fuck me"
was my answer.
Work had gone well, but I thought
about being a bottom all during my shift. It excited me more than the tip
share.
We stood up. As he walked to his
bedroom, I saw him pull off his shirt. I was naked before I got there. He
smiled seeing me nude and all my clothes piled in the living room. Tonight, I
was fully hard right away. I seemed particularly excited to have sex, to have a
man impale me with his hard cock for the first time.
Tonight Timothy turned out all the
lights. The room was completely dark except for some very dim light coming
through the window shades. Then I saw a flame quickly lit. A match lowered and
then I saw a wick lit. Timothy had just lit a candle. It offered just the right
soft glow to the room.
He laid next to me and started
caressing my body with his palm. In the glow of the candlelight, I could see
his penis move as it grew and hardened. I wasn't attracted to Timothy, but it
was a tender moment. He probably wasn't attracted to me either. But being — I didn't
even know what he was — straight or bisexual or what, Timothy seemed to not
care. He was horny; that's all he needed to know. I wondered if he would feel
the same if he wasn't wasted.
"Want to know a secret?" he softly
said to me with his head on my chest and a grip around my dick.
"Okay."
"Know how last night was the first
night I was fucked?"
"Yeah."
"All the nights I've done it with my
friends, I'm always the one fucking. Occasionally I get a blowjob. I've never
given one. Last night was so new, so fun, I want to try something new again."
"Uhh ..."
"Can I suck you, Jakob?"
I didn't expect to be asked. It had
been over a year since Anson sucked my cock. Why not?
"That would be okay. Yeah."
Timothy stared at my phallus for a
moment. He lowered his face and let my dick rub against his cheek. His nose
slowly rubbed up and down my five inches. Then his tongue barely touched it. He
licked a line up my shaft. He inhaled and then gently blew on the moisture. My
dick jolted at the delicate stimulations.
His head moved upward, and I
expected him to descend on my erection. But he lowered his head, and his tongue
tasted my balls. One at a time, his mouth teased them.
"Oooo," I softly cooed.
He licked them some more like a dog
lapping water.
"Suck me, Timothy," I softly
requested.
For the first time in his life, his
mouth took another man's genitalia in his mouth. I could feel his mouth
salivate around my shaft. He moaned as if tasting ice cream.
"Nice," I said.
Timothy began moving up and down my
erection. The nerves in my cock loved feeling his warmth. As he bobbed up and
down the shaft, his hands roamed all over me. They groped my chest, they toyed
with my bush, they gripped my ass. I was being felt up everywhere during this
blowjob. The soft candlelight created an aura of romance where there were no
feelings of any kind. Except sex. It was just sex.
I assumed Timothy would only want to
try oral sex for just a few minutes. He groaned like he was having the best sex
of his life. The noise traveled directly into my enflamed skin. I wondered if
he was feeling obligated to bringing me to orgasm. Quite honestly, he was
close. After several minutes of the pleasure, I had to pull him off.
"I don't want to come before you
fuck me."
"Okay. I get it."
"You were very good. I loved it."
"Thanks, man."
He knew we were having sex. He had
everything at hand: condom, towel and lube. There was a sticky strand of what I
guess was called precum dripping from his slit. My dick didn't do that. I had
never seen an actual condom before. It was interesting to see him roll it on
his cock. I knew it was for my protection, so I felt a bit of respect for him,
particularly in his stoned state.
He spread the towel and rolled me
onto my stomach. I could hear the bottle of lube snap open. He dribbled a small
stream into my ass crack.
"Eeek," I said, momentarily startled
by the cool temperature. We chuckled.
His touch worked the liquid around
the pucker of my hole. I felt a finger slide inside my ass. It was an unusual
sensation. But I liked it. My face was buried in a pillow, but it had a huge
smile. I was about to be fucked for the first time. I would no longer have a
virgin ass. I was psyched.
Two fingers made their way inside.
Oh. I tensed a bit.
"Relax," he said. I tried. I got
used to it a little.
I heard the bottle snap open again.
I knew he was coating his dick. I heard the bottle being placed on the
nightstand. He moved my legs a bit apart. I could feel his body maneuvering in
the bed. His body was above me. He kissed me on the back of the neck. The head
of his cock was right at me hole. This was it! I was about to be fucked. I was
excited.
The head moved in.
"Owww," I
winced at the painful sensation.
"Relax, man."
I tried. It seemed too invasive. My
body rejected it.
"You okay?"
I wanted to say yes. I wanted to
tell him to fuck me.
"No."
He pulled it out. He leaned up and
fingered my ass for a minute again. I hated myself. I was terrible at fucking.
I ruined it.
"Let's try again."
The head entered me again. He slid
an inch or two in. I hated it. It did not feel good.
He lowered his body onto me. Like a
weighted blanket, it somehow comforted me.
"Breathe for me," he said.
I let out an exhale of tense air.
"That's it. Keep breathing. Relax."
We were motionless for about 30
seconds. I just breathed. It got better.
"Okay?"
"Okay."
His hips thrust his cock into me the
whole way. My instincts immediately screamed, "intruder!" But it was okay.
Timothy was gentle. His movements
were slow. But they were there. I felt his cock slide in and out. I focused on
the feelings inside me. Shortly thereafter, I moaned.
"Yeah," I said in approval.
"That's it," he said.
He placed his arms underneath my
chest. His hands gripped my pecs and his thrusting increased. His shaft moved
back and forth within me.
I was being fucked.
Timothy was audibly groaning at the
point. I wanted to, but it probably sounded more like whimpering. I was really
beginning to enjoy it.
I was being fucked.
"You doing okay, Jakob?"
"Yeah. Fuck me."
I was being fucked.
"Fuck me, Tim. Fuck me with your
hard dick. Fuck me."
Timothy snarled in pleasure. I was
analyzing every sensation. His cock sliding, his crotch ramming my ass, his
hands groping my chest, the scent of the lube, his breathing on my neck — there
was so much to take in.
I was being fucked.
`You like it Jakob? You like being
fucked?"
"I do. It's good. Fuck me, Tim. I
love it."
"Want me to fuck hard?"
"Yeah, fuck me hard."
His body lifted on his elbows. He
thrust his hips faster. The gyrations made it seem like his dick was even deeper
within me. I groaned. He groaned. I thought I felt a drop of sweat drip from
his forehead on my back. His breathing was so hard, I could feel it on my neck.
I was being fucked.
"Damn, your tight ass feels so good
around my cock, Jakob."
He pushed harder and harder,
practically shoving me up the bed.
"Fuck me. Fuck me." I wondered how
many times I had uttered that. I didn't really use that word at all. It's all I
could think tonight. I was being fucked.
"I'm ... oh yeah ... oh yeah ... I'm gonna
come, Jakob!"
"Do it. Do it inside me. Fuck me."
"Ungh!" he screamed as his crotch
shoved my ass. I could tell by his jerking body language that he was shooting
all his climax into the condom. As he unloaded his cum inside me, he kissed my
neck, humming into my skin in pleasure. Pushing. Writhing. Releasing.
With his cock still in me, his body
weight seemed to double as it settled onto mine like lava consuming me. He was
motionless.
"Can you stay hard?" I asked.
"Huh?" he replied into my neck.
"I like what you did last night."
"Oh."
We moved positions. It felt unusual
as I felt his penis pull from my ass like a plug. He pulled off the condom and
wiped his dick with the towel corner. He lubed his shaft again. It wasn't quite
six inches anymore, but still long. I hovered above his waist. He propped his
dick up. I lowered onto it. Before it got too soft, we worked it back up inside
me.
"Oh yeah."
We worked together. I moved up and
down his shaft, while he thrust up into me. I was hoping he could keep it hard.
It felt good still.
"Good job," I said. "You feel good
in me."
"Yeah, man."
"Keep it hard for me."
I wanted to simply ride it a while.
I enjoyed watching him last night. I wriggled my hips all over his crotch. He
fondled my dick as it bounced up and down.
Then he got serious. He started
working my cock.
"Put lube on it," I said.
He did. He slathered my cock, and
then resumed pulling on my hard flesh. I moaned. I leaned back on my stiff arms
and just rode his pole while he pleasured mine.
"Oh ... oh ... oh," I moaned. I felt
like I should take it in my own hands, but I loved him doing it.
A few minutes later I leaned forward
and held his shoulders as his handjob on my cock kept me moaning. I knew I was
close.
"Harder, Timothy. Pull it harder!
I'm about to come!"
"Yeah, man! Do it. Let me see you
come."
My erection was a lightning rod. It
pulsed with energy like a taser.
"Ungh!!!" I screamed as my cock
unleashed.
From his grip, the first stream of
cum arced over his body and hit his face.
"Holy shit!" he called out.
"Harder!"
He kept aggressively yanking my
hard-on. Wave after wave coated him. It was everywhere.
"Fuck! Wow!"
I moaned and whimpered and gasped
until my spike stopped oozing my cum. Timothy still pulled on it regardless. I
smiled and softly took his grip from my penis. We looked into each other's
eyes.
"Thank you," I said.
"And YOU! I really enjoyed that,
dude."
"So you think you're straight?"
"Maybe when I'm sober?"
We both laughed hard.
The towel wiped most of us clean. I
felt liquid leaking around my ass. I didn't like that. Cleaning up was
essential to me. A washcloth got the rest. Two naked men cleaning each other
didn't seem as awkward as it should have. I seemed okay with it.
"Um. Jakob? Care to snuggle with me
tonight?"
Where was this going? Neither of us
had feelings for each other. However, I had just been as intimate as a person
can be with someone else. Why would sleeping matter?
"Uh. Okay. Heaven knows I haven't
slept in an actual bed in ages."
We both put on underwear, and I got
back into bed. For some reason, it all seemed weird now. At least we didn't
kiss. That would have made it weird. Timothy blew out the candle after he
finished brushing his teeth. When he crawled into bed, I felt my whole outlook
change. It was like a layer of skin was being pulled off me an inch at a time.
"Quite a night, huh, man?"
"Yeah," I said emotionless, starting
to be freaked out by what had transpired.
Then Timothy gave me the simplest
kiss on the lips. "Good night."
He placed his arm around me, and we
snuggled in that position until we both fell asleep. He did rather quickly. I
didn't. My mind was a Roman candle, firing off pyrotechnic thoughts every few
seconds.
What had I done? I didn't like this
person. I didn't love him, for sure. My behavior was horrible. Fuck me with
your hard dick. Did I actually say that? I screamed that! What had gotten
into me? Did I want to have sex so bad that I had no morals? My father would be
repulsed. He would be nauseated. Good lord, if my mother knew what I had just
done, she'd hate me. I was a horrible person. No wonder they kicked me out.
Fucking. I'm covered in sin. It's really
gross when you get down to it. I mean, penises and butts. Gross. I'd gone
insane. My ass hurt now. Holy crap, I did this for money. Or lack of it. Was I
a prostitute now? I was a terrible person.
To help calm me down, I thought
about how nice it was to be in a bed. I tried to concentrate on the softness.
It was practically foreign to me now.
Timothy's arm pulled me closer to
him. Seconds later, I could hear him wheezing in my back. He had drifted off. I
just closed my eyes drowning in my thoughts.
"Jakob?" Trevor asked, snapping me out of it. "You seem
buried in thought."
"Right. I ... I ... I don't think I can tell you this next part.
It's just too ... dear heavens, you'd think the worst of me."
"I'm not here to judge you. I just want to understand how
you got to where you are now."
There was no way I could come off looking respectable. I
hated this part of my life. Did Trevor need to know everything? It killed me
remembering this stuff. It really hurt.
"Okay," I started. "I certainly am not proud of this time in
my life. I was really feeling the money crunch. I found myself running out and
scared that I couldn't pay bills. A car problem really crushed me. I came home
from a lousy night at work. My roommate was stoned. He got me drinking. He said
there was another way I could make up what I owed him ... and ..."
"Sex."
I looked down at the floor. "Yeah," I said, almost
inaudibly. "The sad thing was he thought it was a great solution. But I had
lost my moral compass. I hated myself. It was the first time I had ever been f...
first time I had ever taken things that far. I felt shallow and useless. And
the worst part was that I knew I didn't have a solution."
"How long did this go on?"
"Not long, actually. After two nights, he seemed to go back
out with friends and just do drugs and sex with them. It happened a handful of
times, I suppose. Whenever I got late on grocery money. But ... I really enjoyed
... the sex ... and immediately hated myself afterward. I thought about it a lot,
sometimes good, sometimes bad."
"I think that's a natural feeling."
"You probably think I'm a horrible person."
"Jakob. Trust me, there are significantly more wicked and
distasteful things in this world than a young man exploring sexuality. Even
under pressure."
"Sadly, it became a survival technique."
"Go on."
"About three months later, I had another car issue. I knew I
couldn't make rent. Not any of it. My roommate had a solution. He had a
coworker who needed a place just for three months until he was transferred.
Since all I had was a futon mattress and chest of drawers, the idea was that I
just move those two items into the living room. I could prop the futon behind
the couch and bring it out each night. And we rented out the other room. I paid
$100 a month and promised to do all the cleaning — the whole place. Even their
laundry if they wanted. And this guy agreed."
"Did that work well?"
"Eh. Financially, yes. But I knew I had no real space of my
own. Not that I owned anything that needed space, but no ... private ... well,
space. I was existing, surviving. But I wouldn't say I was living. I certainly
wasn't happy."
"And this roommate didn't invite you to ... share his bed?"
"No. He was super stoned one night and I ... uh ... `paid off' ...
the water bill one month. I did it that night. That was the only other time.
But a few other `bills were paid' before. Then the arrangement all ended."
"How did it come to a close?"
"The new roommate transferred to Austin, Texas. The one that
did drugs was doing very well at his job. Surprisingly, considering what he did
most nights. He was ready for a nicer place. He finished out the lease until
the end of that year."
"Then what did you do?"
"It was almost the same scenario. I still wasn't making
enough for the full car payment, insurance, living expenses and the big chunk
of rent. One of the servers at the restaurant was sympathetic. I guess. He knew
of my odd arrangement in the previous place. He offered me the same arrangement
if I promised to clean the whole place as part of the deal. He and his roommate
thought it was a steal. Once again, it provided me an out, a solution. So I
took it."
"Did you get along with these two?"
"Mostly. For one of them, the one at the restaurant, he was
the opposite of my previous roommate. When he got wasted, he was not polite. At
all. He was a mean drunk. It worked well for a year. Things changed after that.
I also turned 21, so ... alcohol also changed things."
* * * *
After reading this chapter, those that have followed my work may have one big question. For insight, go to the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com
Look for the post "19."