Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 13:59:21 -0700 (PDT) From: Bob Archman Subject: Best Sex Ever 20 Best Sex Ever 20 By Bald Hairy Man This is a story for adult men. It depicts gay sex. If this offends or bothers you, DO NOT READ IT. It is a fantasy and is not a sex manual, or a discussion of safe sex. If you have, comments send them to bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com If you enjoy these stories. Please consider giving a donation to Nifty! I am David Shoemaker, the music director for the Gospel Tabernacle of the Savior in Austin Texas. Bobby-Joe McPherson, a charismatic preacher, founded the Tabernacle. The Tabernacle grew from ten families meeting in Bobby-Joe's house to a six thousand-member mega-church in fifteen years. Everybody loved Bobby-Joe. When you met him, you soon believed that he was your best friend in the world. Everyone loved him. I had been with him for twelve years and the choir had 100 members and a full sized orchestra, I had a salary of over $160,000.00 a year, plus benefits. It was a shock when Bobby was arrested and sent to jail for fifteen years. He embezzled, and had swindled his way to a fortune. Most of my money was in his "bank." It turned out the Bank wasn't actually a bank. It was a Ponzi scheme. Like most his congregation, my salary was invested things called Jesus Bonds. They made 15% annual interest, on paper. We all lost everything. It was not invested in anything; it funded Bobby-Joe's extravagant lifestyle and his poorly thought out investments. Bobby-Joe was a fire and brimstone preacher; he was hard on sins of the flesh. We discovered he had a second family in rural Texas and a third family in Mexico. They would have needed to invent the word hypocrite, if it hadn't already be created. He was a creationist, biblical literalist scam artist. He left a bad taste in everyone's mouth. At age 40, I was bankrupt and unemployed. I had devoted my adult life to the Tabernacle and had nothing. I spent 80 to 100 hours a week on the musical programs of the church. I had no life outside the church so in reality I had less than nothing. I was part of the Tabernacle's public face, and thousands saw me on the television every Sunday. No one could believe I had nothing to do with the scheme. Most thought I was either involved, or so stupid I missed all the danger signs. I lost everyone who I thought were friends. I did have a little money in a real bank; my house was repossessed, as was my car. My folks were dead and I had their old Buick. Luckily, it wasn't worth enough to repossess. I had enough cash to make a few months' rent on my one room apartment. I went looking for a job, but no church wanted me. I answered every ad in the paper and played at a few weddings, and I played the organ at funeral homes. These jobs would bring in $150.00 a shot every two weeks or so. I saw an ad for a pianist at the Club Elite. It would pay $300.00 a week for part time work. That was 10% of what I had been making, but it would pay the rent. The Club Elite was a gentleman's club. I didn't know what that meant. It was in a non-descript building near downtown. They wanted background music during the week and then it had a small show on Friday and Saturday nights. Marvin, the man who ran the place did not impress me, but I was desperate. I assumed the show was made of singers and showgirls. I went to a rehearsal for the show and discovered the showgirls were all men. It was a drag show. I was ready to keep on looking for another job, but Marvin gave me a check for two weeks in advance. I was living in a one-room apartment with a hotplate. I could splurge and buy the mac and cheese with extra cheese with this windfall. I took the money and hoped something better came along. I do play the piano well, and I had no problem with the music. Marvin and the people who worked for him were fine. They weren't newspaper-reading types. They had barely heard of Bobby-Joe and had no knowledge of me at all. For a little while, I was afraid someone would find out I was playing in a gay nightclub. However, six months after the Tabernacle closed, I was gone and forgotten; no one noticed or cared. I had no personal life at the Tabernacle and that included having a sex life. Sex could only occur after marriage with a blushing virgin and then only for procreation purposes. I was uneasy about sex and membership in the Tabernacle was a way to avoid sex. I was shy, timid and trusting with respect to sex. I didn't realize that I was one of the few who actually avoided it. I was not much attracted to women and I had a hard time finding a woman I would even like to marry. The Club Elite was gay, but I had no idea what that meant. I had spent my life avoiding sex; indeed, I tried to banish sexual thoughts. I am short, stocky and bald. I was hairy below my neck, but I made sure no one knew about that. Darwin was the devil incarnate for Bobby-Joe, and I was afraid he might consider my hairy body ape like. I am a good musician. Marvin liked that, but he really like cheap musicians. I also do what I am told. To say the drag queens were difficult was an understatement. I wasn't difficult at all. The new repertoire was entirely different from the hymns, but not at all difficult. After a month at the Club, Melvin gave me a raise of $150.00. I was pleased. The people at the Club were pretty sad. I almost felt sad about them, but then I realized I was just as sad as they were. It was a dismal situation, but I was making a go of it. I had been afraid of being homeless on the streets. I came to know the doorman-bouncer, Rex, pretty well. Officially, he was the doorman, but unofficially he was the manager. Melvin had a drinking problem and his managerial skills vanished at 8:00 each evening. Rex was a big, beefy man who took charge. Everyone did what he told them to do. He was not exactly intimidating, but you knew he could be. No drunks crossed him more than one time. Every once and a while some members might have a brawl. Rex made sure it was very short. My Buick died and I walked to work. I was a two miles away so that wasn't a problem, but walking home at night was not pleasant. Rex began to give me a ride home. Strangely, it didn't occur to me that he was gay. Most of the staff was quite flamboyant and very open about their sexual lives. At first, I assumed it was an act, like some of the men in television programs. It was not an act. Rex wasn't like that at all. I had been at the club for four months when one of the showgirls, Sonia was diagnosed with cancer. She was not the most difficult of the drag queens, but she seemed to think that being nasty was a part of her art. I was shocked when the other drag queens rallied around her, as did the staff. Sonia had liver and pancreatic cancer and there wasn't much hope. They brought her food, took her to chemo treatments and were supportive. Melvin put her on sick leave and paid her salary. She died three months later. The cancer had been well advanced when they found it. At the funeral, I discovered that Sonia had a good Christian family that had done nothing throughout the illness. Sonia was a sinner who did not deserve their sympathy or support. She was their child, and I was shocked. It seemed as if the good Christians did nothing while the sinners took care of their dyeing friend. I talked with Rex about it. "There are a lot of sins that are worse than sex," he said. "Loving the wrong person is small potatoes compared to be mean, nasty and hateful. Sonia played the bitch on stage, but it was an act." "Being a drag queen is an act," he continued. "I have a suspicion she learned her acting skills from her parents who pretended to be Christian." I knew exactly what he was saying. "It seems to me that the louder they are professing their faith, less likely they are to be kind and forgiving," I said. "I guess you know that being stabbed in the back and cheated is a minor sin compared to a blow job?" Rex asked. "It seems strange to me that a little fun can be a great sin, but that treachery and deceit are just little bumps. How many lives did your preacher man ruin? I would guess ten or twenty thousand?" "I've never had sex with another person," I said. "Have you?" Rex looked at me oddly. "Every chance I get!" he said. "I am what is called a horny bastard." "With men or women?" "With men of course!" he replied. "David, you are a good man, but you need to get out more!" He laughed and I laughed too. "Maybe I have taken being timid to a new level," I said. "I'm afraid of sex." "Were your parents strange?" he asked. "No, they were nice. They were a bit protective," I explained. "I went to Christian schools." "I went to Catholic Schools. That where I learned to hate nuns!" he replied. "If you want some sex lessons, come to me. I give lessons at no charge!" A week later, the Elite Club had a new performer, Lady Windermere. She was an older, heavyset man with a wild sense of humor. She played the grand dame while the other girls played the slut. It was very funny and very popular. Lady Windermere was pleasant and clever. She could be catty and quite ribald, but she was so funny no one took offence. Membership in the club grew, as did the profits. Melvin gave me a big raise. Lady Windermere liked me. She was more musically adventurous than the other were and she wanted me as her accompanist. I had been thinking about Rex and his offer to give me lessons. I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. When he gave me a ride home on a rainy night, I asked him point blank. He laughed. "Of course it was a genuine offer. As I said, I like sex anyway I can get it." "I've never done it, but I would like to try it," I said. We were at my apartment and we talked in the car. "David, I'm not a virgin and I like it all. I suck, I fuck, I top and I bottom. I love man juice. I love getting all hot and bothered," he said. "I'm not sure I'm the right man to give you lessons. I can try to take it slow, but my natural urges take over quickly. When it comes to sex there are no training wheels." "You think I need training wheels?" "Shit David, if anyone in the world needed training wheels, you do!" he said. "I'm sorry I asked." "I didn't mean to insult you, it just that you are not standard issue," Rex said. "I was having sex when I was fifteen and I was experimenting several years before. You're forty and haven't gotten on the merry go round yet." We talked a little longer and I went to my apartment and then to bed. A week later, I had a chance to talk with Rex again. "I understand what you were saying, but I'd really like to try it with you," I said. "You know sex can be messy," he said. "It's not like the way it is on the television or in the movies. There is no orchestra in the background." "I've got to grow up sometime," I said. We talked a little longer. "Well, let's make a deal. After the Sunday show why don't we go home to my house, get naked and see what happens," he said. "Let me warn you about something. As I said I like it all, but I love to fuck. Remember I'm going to get in your ass eventually." After the last show, Rex took me to his house. It was a nice house in a good neighborhood. We had a beer and went to the bedroom. "I need to take a shower. Do you want to join me?" Rex asked. I nodded and stripped. I was afraid to look at him. "David, we are all guys here. There is no need to be shy," he said. I looked and was relived. I thought I was too hairy, but Rex was a gorilla. He was a dirty blond Gorilla, but a gorilla nonetheless. I looked down. He was uncut and huge. I was hard. He reached over and fondled my balls. "You have nice ones, they are heavy, nice and full," he said. "Can I feel yours?" I asked. "That's why we are here," he replied. I looked at him. Rex was smiling. We soaped each other up. When I rinsed off, Rex got on his knees and licked my cock. A second or two later it was down his throat. I didn't know what to expect, but it was better than I could have expected. I didn't know I could feel that much pleasure. His lips caressed my shaft as his tongue licked my knob. I thought I would play it cool, but that was not an option. It was a new level of feeling that I had never experienced before. I had thought of my cock as a piss aiming device. It was obvious that Rex saw it in an entirely different way. It didn't seem to bother Rex at all. It was the sort of thing that Bobby-Joe would have seen as the deepest depravity, but there was no lightning strikes and no thunderous messages from God. I had heard people talk about sex and seen sexual situations on television programs. I had no idea what the fuss was about. I now knew. What I did not know was that this was just the appetizer. It had seemed that having anyone suck on my cock was improbable, but Rex was enthusiastic. He was a man's man and he liked it. "I'm going to shoot!" I said as I pulled away. "David, that's what we're here for!" Rex replied. He wanted to suck more and there didn't seem to be any way to stop him. He stood up and held my shoulders. "Just relax and let nature take its course." A second or two later I was on my knees and his cock was in my mouth. My real objective was to avoid shooting off in his mouth. Logically I should have been shocked at making contact with his genitals, but I wasn't worried about that. I was completely surprised at the rush of emotion that swept over me when my lips enveloped his cock head. I don't know what I expected. I assumed I thought it would be dirty, but we were in the shower. I actually licked his slit and tasted something sweet. I felt a strong urge to taste more of the sweet goo that oozed from his cock. "That's it Davy, you've got me going. You're doing it just fine," he whispered in encouragement. "Don't be shy. Everything is good. It's great for me. I hope you like it too?" I loved it and said so. Rex turned off the shower. We dried off and went to the bedroom. He told me to get on the bed. He joined me and sucked my cock. His cock was near my mouth so I sucked him. From that position, he could swallow my entire cock. I tried to take his, but it was too big. I didn't want to choke. I felt warm and tingly all over. I was in a sexual trance when I shot off. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I didn't have time to warn him and let him pull away. I thought he would be mad, but he seemed to like it. We broke apart and I calmed down. "Do you think you could take my load?" Rex asked. "I don't know," I replied. "Do I have to?" Rex smiled. "It's up to you. It may be too much on you maiden voyage." "I'm tired and sleepy," I said. "Just relax. The urges will come back in ten or twenty minutes," he said. I did not think that would happen, but I was wrong about that. We were just lying on the bed. I was tired but my mind was racing at 100 miles an hour. I had been afraid of sex, but it had been wonderful. I had been uneasy about Rex, but he was wonderful too. I had thought that sex was something you did to another person. I realized it was something you did with them. It was intensely exciting and while it involved our genitals, it wasn't dirty at all. "What is fucking like?" I asked him. The question was like a lightning strike out of nowhere. "It can be much more intense than sucking," Rex said. "To tell you the truth, it's not as sure fire pleasurable as sucking, but when it's good, it's great." "Do you think I would like it?" "There's no way to tell," Rex replied. "Do you think you would like my cock up your ass? I fuck until I shoot off and fill your hole with my cream. It's really intense. I'm a big boy, and when I say I'll fill your hole, I mean it." I am not an adventurous man, but now that I was naked with Rex, I wanted to do it all. I know it doesn't make any sense, but it was the way I felt. Having just experienced the best sex I ever had, I wanted more. I wanted to do it with Rex. I was pleased he was willing to do it with me. Rex was big and attractive. He seem to have double the normal level of male characteristics. I was afraid he might lose interest and I would never have another chance. An hour earlier the thought of his bloated organ spurting his cock cream into me would have been revolting and disgusting. As he sucked my spewing cock a half hour earlier, I realized that I had it all wrong. There was another world of sensation and intimacy I had missed. It was not just that I wanted to be fucked; I wanted to close to him; I wanted Rex to be in me. If it hurt, it would be worth it. "Let's do it," I said. "Fuck me!" "Damn, I was hoping you would say that," he replied. At the time, I didn't know that fucking could range from the quickie of a few minutes to an hour of more of genital explorations. Rex took his time but he also clearly wanted to get in me. He had a tube of lubricant next to his bed and his first touches surprised me. I did not expected to be touched there, and I didn't expect my own reaction. It scared me a little and excited me a lot. He gently massaged my ass and then eased his thick finger into my ass. That was okay, but it was not a thrill. I wondered if all the talk about fucking was hyperbole, or if it just wasn't my thing. Rex worked his finger in deeper and suddenly he rubbed something that sent electric shocks of pleasure through my body. I did not know what was going on. "Well David, everything is in working order," he said. He pulled his finger out of my ass and put my legs on his shoulders. After lubricating his cock, Rex nuzzled it in my ass. "I'm going to push a little, but you need to open up a lot," he said. "I want to give your ass a nice little massage. You're nice and tight. That's good for me, but you will like it better if you relax." "Take your time," I managed to say. His cock was well lubricated and he was rhythmically thrusting. He wasn't pushing hard, but it was becoming more forceful. He stroked my cock as he pushed. I was so hard it almost hurt. "I wouldn't mind you in me sometime," Rex said. "You have a nice one." Suddenly his cock head was in. There was a twinge of pain, and then a wave of relief. I gasped for breath. He was sill for a little while. He pulled out, recoated his cock with lube and pushed in again. This time he went in deep enough to hit that special spot his finger had found a little earlier. I almost passed out it was so intense. Rex was both gentle and forceful. He went way deep, then pulled out, making sure he hit the good spot with his bloated cock head. I knew he enjoyed it, but it did not seem to be possible that he could have enjoyed it more than I did. The sensations were overwhelming. "Damn, you're good!" he exclaimed. "You were born to be a bottom. I've got a nice long fuse. I hope you don't mind if I take my time." He varied his thrusts this keeping me mentally off balance. I didn't know what was coming next. "Now I can shoot off in you, or pull out and spray you Roman candle style," Rex said. "What would you prefer?" "Fill me up!" I replied. "That's the right attitude," he replied. I felt a tickling sensation in my ass. He was ejaculating. "Tomorrow is my day off. Do you mind if I fuck you a few more times? Years ago, I fucked a man so many times my cream was drooling from his ass. Would you like that?" "I think I would," I replied. The next morning I knew that I liked that a lot.