Chapter 16
I return home after finding out that the man who I was with for most of my adult life was with my brother. Not only were they together but they lived together. They had kids.
I get a knock on my door.
I am sitting in the darkness when I get it. I turn the light on and go to the door. There he was. The motherfucker that stabbed me in the back. My brother Joshua was standing behind the door at that moment.
“I think it's important I came up
here to talk to you.”
“What
about?”
“Jamison. Let's not play these games
right now. Let's just do this and get it over with. You know what
I'm here to talk to you about. I just let you know that I'm with
Keon.”
Joshua wasn't better looking than me. Some
people said we favored each other but honestly I thought his nose was
far too wide and I thought he was way too old to break out as many
times as he did. I had a better body than him. I had a bigger butt.
The only thing that Joshua had on me
was his career. His fucking career that he had given up to open the
Marchioness. Was that enough for him to steal my fucking man?
“I
mean what else is there to talk about, then?” I ask.
“You don't have questions.”
I
sigh.
“I will. Right now I just
need to wrap my head around how I come back home and find my brother
in the bed that I think should be mine.”
“You're
being passive aggressive again,” Joshua states.
Joshua prides himself in being
straight-forward. He's a straight shooter, right? Pow. Pow. I
look at the smug look on his face. He loves himself. He thinks he's
the man because he balls enough to march up to my room and confront
me. He's daring me to argue with him. Joshua would love that. He
lived for confronting people. He lived for getting into an argument.
He would want nothing more. Maybe that's why he's here now. He
wants to argue with me. I'll say something I shouldn't say and he'd
kick my ass out in the streets where I had nothing to my name.
I
knew my brother so well.
He's daring me to say something
to him. He's daring me to argue with him.
I force my stare, “You know what?
I'm just kind of confused on why no one ever said anything to
me.”
“I wanted to, Keon said it was a bad
idea.”
These motherfuckers were trying to drive me
crazy I think.
“Keon sent you up here,
didn't he?” I ask.
That fucking coward would send Joshua up here. Yeah. Joshua was a straight shooter. Pow. Pow. I could hear Keon now. “Hey baby, maybe you should be the one to go up there and talk to your brother. You've always been up front. He's expect it.” And I can see Joshua probably getting hard on at the idea of starting some shit. There was nothing Joshua enjoyed more than coming into someone's peace and starting some shit.
Joshua has the audacity to roll his eyes, “Does it matter? I'm here now. And I'm trying to find out if there is a problem.”
I smile.
“I'll talk to Keon about
it.”
“I'm standing right here. Talk to me
about it,” Joshua responds, crossing his arms and raising his
eyebrow, “Don't you want to know how it happened?”
Was
he nervous about me talking to Keon for some reason? If he had his
relationship so underwraps then why the fuck did he care if I was
going to talk to Keon or not.
“I'll talk to Keon about it,”
I state, putting on a smile, “Have a goodnight.”
He's
about to say something else but I slam the door in his face. I want
to hit him. I want to take my fist and drive it into Joshua's face
but I don't. I need Joshua right now and in prison I had learned
patience. When you are in a cage you are forced to learn patience.
There isn't much really good reading material locked up.
~
I come downstairs in the morning. The glass walls of the house let the light in. You don't need any goddam lamps during the daytime in the house. The natural lighting in this place is ridiculous. The house my brother and Keon live in is beautiful to say the least. I wonder whose idea it is for me to stay with them after I got out. I feel like I don't even know these people anymore. We grew up in the fucking ghetto and now they lived in this mansion be the ocean.
I walk downstairs to something cooking. It smells fucking amazing to say the least.
“Morning Uncle Jamison,”
the girls say together.
I stare at them. The prettiest
little girls I've ever seen in my fucking life. They are sitting at
the kitchen table eating pancakes. I watch as their hot babysitter
walks over and pours them apple juice. The guy has on a muscle
shirt. I wonder if he always wears these fucking muscle shirts or if
he's just doing this sort of thing today.
“So well behaved,” I state looking at the girls.
I feel so shaky when I get down
the steps. The girls smile at me. They are so goddam pretty. I
can't stand it. Seeing their fine ass male governess isn't really
helping much either. I feel out of place. This can't be real. The
fact that Keon and my brother have kids just make this all so much
more...real.
“This is Isabella and this is Eva,” the man states.
“And what's your name?”
I ask, “Chart...or was it Diagram or...”
“Graph,”
he responds.
I knew it. I can't help but throw shade though and be defensive. This guy couldn't possibly be allowed to dress in a shirt that showed his nipples and abs on a regular basis. I wasn't born yesterday. Joshua was parading this motherfucker in front of me for a reason. What did he think? I'd end up dating this guy? Or even worse? Did he think I'd fuck him so that he could run back to tell Keon.
I watch how the guy flashes me his smile. I watch how he approaches me. He smells good. It's Tuesday. Who wears expensive cologne on a Saturday morning? His breath smells really good too. I don't trust this guy. I don't like it.
“How long you been working
here?” I ask.
“A little while,” he
states.
I wonder if that's what Joshua
told him to say. If he was indeed Joshua's little pet then there was
no way in hell I was going to get anything out of him.
“Is Keon around?” I
ask, “I wanted to chat with him.”
“He
actually left out.”
“Where?”
“He
didn't say.”
“Is that usual for
him?”
“What?”
“For him
to dip out so fuckin' early. Keon wasn't a morning person before.”
“Well it's not a normal
morning, huh?” Graph states, “I should probably head out
and take the girls to their ballet lesson. Did you want anything
while I was out?”
Graph wasn't from where we was
from. He was much too well spoken. He must have been a model from
like the valley or something. He was all polite and shit. He looked
like he was the male version of those Kardashian girls.
I shake my head, “I'm
good.”
Graph walks over to me. He walks too close.
At first I think this motherfucker is going to KISS me when he leans
into me. I even lean back a little bit unsure of where this is
going. He stops short of touching me though and takes off his apron.
He leans past me and hangs it on a hook that is hanging right behind
me. I get a good whiff of his good scent and a close up of his
strong, perky, perfect muscles. The nigga has hard fucking nipples.
Hard nipples at 10 am in the morning. Who had hard nipples at this
time.
“Let me know if there's anything
I can do for you,” he tells me before taking a few steps back
but not letting his eye linger off me, “Come on girls. Let's
go to ballet.”
As soon as Graph leaves I can't help
but to grab a big hold of my dick through my jeans. It's been a long
fucking time and I definitely wanted sex. Graph looked like he had a
huge dick too. I could only imagine it.
I consider actually going up stairs and beating my dick like it owed me something to prevent me from giving Graph exactly what he seemed like he wanted but just as I start heading up I notice someone headed down.
Joshua.
“Get dressed,” he states.
“Actually I was headed upstairs,” I state.
Joshua gives me a hard look,
“Please. Get dressed, Jamison.”
“Where are we
going?”
“You'll see...”
~
“Pick two...”
We
are in a store. My brother is telling me to pick out tuxedos. It's
not like Macy's or no shit like that. No. We were in one of those
fancy ass motherfucking places where they give you champagne when you
walk through the door and know you by your first name and last name.
“I can't afford this shit,” I state.
“I never said you were paying for it, did I?” Joshua asks.
I don't know if he's trying to be nice. He would need to do a lot better than buying me expensive suits if he thought I would just forgive him for stealing my man. I stand around the store as he sits, drinking his champagne. I look at all the different suits and honestly I don't know a damn thing about what I'm looking for but I'm too proud to ask Joshua to get his ass up and help me.
“People staring at me and shit,” I state.
There is this guy on the other side
of the store. He's a real handsome looking guy but I don't get the
full look of him because he just stares at me quickly before starting
to walk away. He probably realizes that I just got out of jail and
never really been used to this kind of shit.
“Maybe he thinks you're cute,” Joshua states.
I know what Joshua is doing. It's
not going to work.
“You guys doing well huh?” I ask him, “You and Keon.”
“We all are,” he tells me.
I sigh, “I don't see no
money in my pocket.”
“Lawyers ain't free.
Where you think your cut went?” Joshua asks.
“All of it?”
“Bro...unless
you forgot I did invest all my money into the club,” he tells
me, “I needed to make sure I got that back. Now that you out
I'm not goin' to play you. Don't worry about it. Chill...”
Chill.
That's what he tells me. Chill.
I feel like an argument is coming on but before I get the chance I realize that someone is walking into the store. I'm surprised when I see my sister walk into the store.
“JAMISON!”
Jamila
looks...good. I watch as she reaches over and hugs me. The girl has
never looked so good. She has on a designer dress, designer glasses
and red bottom heels on. Her Michael Kors back dangles from her
forearm like she grew up in Beverly Hills instead out South Central.
She leans over and gives me a kiss on one cheek before giving me a
kiss on the other cheek. She manages somehow to kiss me without
actually fucking putting her lips on my cheek.
I don't get what part of the game is
this?
“Jamila?” I ask.
I got to make sure someone didn't jump into my sister's body or something like that.
“I missed you bro...”
“I
invited her over. Figured she could help you pick out the suit for
the party.”
“What party?”
They
look at each other.
“Keon didn't tell you this
morning?” Joshua asks.
“He didn't tell me what?” I ask.
“Give me one second,”
Joshua responds.
Joshua pulls out his phone at that
moment and immediately starts heading out of the store. I can almost
hear him raising his voice on someone on the other line before he
gets out of the store. The look on Jamila's face as she takes
champagne from the store person was priceless to say the least.
I glare at Jamila at that moment.
“What party?” I ask
her.
“Maybe you should wait until
Joshua gets back---”
“What the fuck are you?
His flunky?” I ask my sister, “Damn girl. I just asked
you a question...”
“The engagement
party.”
“Engagement...”
My
heart is racing.
“That's backwards as hell to have
kids before the engagement party.”
“When they
approached me about the kids it was kind of spare of the moment,”
my sister states.
“Pause.”
I
stop doing what I'm doing. I walk over to my sister. I get in her
face. I feel so betrayed at this moment. I feel so fucking hurt.
“They didn't tell you I had the
twins, huh?” she states shaking her head, “Goddam...did
Keon tell you anything?”
“You delivered Keon's
babies?”
“They wanted the baby to have both of
their genes. I'm the only sister,” she explains, “Keon
should have...”
“YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING TOLD
ME!”
I raise my voice at that moment. I can't
fucking help it. I'm steaming. This bitch had some nerve to blame
things on Keon as though she didn't have my contact information.
“Joshua didn't want me to say
shit.”
“What you Joshua's puppet now?” I
ask her, “Joshua the same one that gave you money to support
your drug habit. I guess you happy now that he's back supporting
whatever habits you got now.”
“I'm
clean.”
“Girl I don't care,” I tell my
sister, “You acting real brand new. All of ya'll stood around
while Joshua stole Keon!”
Jamila pauses, “That's
what this is about. Listen. I'm glad you out...or whatever.
However. Let's make this clear while you over here getting loud with
me like I'm your cellmate who stole your fuckin' toilet tissue. I
didn't fuck Keon while you were in jail. You want to go off like some
kind of felon you go off on Joshua.”
“Girl please...”
It's
funny how she's out here calling me a felon and shit like she is some
posh Malibu Barbie or something. I see right past all that shit.
Since when did Jamila get a backbone? Maybe Joshua gave her a little
bit of money to dress nice and get her hair done and get her in
rehab. Maybe now she thought she was better than me or something...
“You ain't going to go off on
Joshua, are you?” Jamila laughs, “I didn't think
so.”
“You don't know what I'm going to do...”
I warn her.
Jamila rolls her eyes, “You going
to shoot him like you did, Daddy?”
“Wow.”
“Too
soon?” Jamila asks.
“Why the fuck am I talking to
you? Where's Joyous? He'd feel me. You changed...”
“Boy,
I've adapted,” Jamila explains with this shady glare, “Shit
changed in the last five years. You killed Daddy. Joshua took Keon.
And you ain't gonna do shit about it. You know why? Cause Joshua
has the purse now. So if I'm kissing his ass, I suggest you move
over to the other cheek.”
Just at that moment Joshua
walks back into the tuxedo shop. He walks in on Jamila and I staring
each other down like we wanted to rip each other's heads off. I
don't know what Joshua had done to Jamila but I didn't fucking like
it. This wasn't the sister that I knew before. Jamila might have
had her little childish ways but she never was straight up shady like
she had just been.
~
I spend the day locked in my room. Lights off. Tearing the fuck up like a loser. Regardless of Jamila's change in personality, I knew that a lot of shit she was telling me was the truth. I don't want to leave but the only thing worse than going to Keon and Joshua's engagement party is if I decided NOT to go.
No. I had to go.
I start leaving the house and just
as I leave I see him...Graph.
He's standing butt naked in the
hallway.
“What the hell are you doing out
here?” I ask him, “My nieces.”
“They
are asleep...” he responds.
Graph is really naked in the
hallway. I know my brother and Keon had gone to leave for the party
early. I had my own car to get to the party and they knew that.
They had left me in this house on purpose with Graph. Now I'm
looking at him at the end of the hallway and before I know it Graph
has his dick in his hand.
He takes a step towards me.
“Yo...what you doing
man?”
“Playing with my dick....”
“Why
are you playing with your dick?” I ask my nieces' babysitter.
Graph shrugs a little bit, “It
feels good.”
“No. I mean why aren't you in
your room playing with your dick...in private?” I ask him.
Graph is close to me right now.
He is so goddam tall. His dick has gotten hard. It is just as big
as I thought it would be. He slaps it in his open palm a few times.
Plop. Plop.
“Let's stop
pretending.”
“Pretending?”
“How
do you say it in South Central? Stop fronting? Stop frauding. Let's
keep it '100'. You want this dick and I want to give it to
you.”
“Man I don't know what you're talking
about. I got my brother's party to go to.”
I start
walkign down the hall. I don't get far though. Before I know it
Graph presses me up against the nearest wall. He presses his hard
dick up against me. I give in before it starts feeling Graph pulling
down my pants. I don't expect some pretty boy model to be as
aggressive as he is but I have to admit I like it. I have to admit
that I want it.
Maybe that's why I don't stop him when he pulls down my pants.
He spreads my cheeks up against the wall. He bends me over. My ass is poking out. His hands part my ass. His tongue enters my ass. It's warm, wet and slippery. He licks, slidding from my taint to my asshole to the smalls of my back. He makes sure he licks every spot.
“Fuck...” I find myself moaning.
“Keon told me you were good. He didn't tell me you were this good...” he whispers.
All of a sudden I'm disgusted. I'm beyond digusted.
“Stop...”
“Calm
down man...”
“STOP!”
I push
him away from me. I can't believe it. I was thinking Joshua may
have been the one to put this Graph guy up to this but now I was
realizing I was completely wrong.
It was Keon.
~
The engagement party is at the
Marchioness. I wonder if Joshua did it on purpose. I wonder if he
was waiting for me to get out. Supposedly this was planned for quite
some time but there was no telling with Joshua. Did he want to shove
this shit in my face? Did he think it was going to go down like
that? I had been backstabbed and betrayed.
“Jamison is that you?”
I
walk in and immediately I see a lady by the name of Lady Lucille.
She gives me a big hug. Back in the hood she was the local Madame.
Her girls used to range from strippers to straight up prostitutes.
Seeing her now I don't know if she still runs that kind of business
or if she elevated in the same way as Jamila did. I know a lot of
the girls who are walking me into this place must be hers. I watch
as they surround me like some sort of VIP, making me skip the line of
strangers that my brother has invited out to his personal party.
In front of the club, Lady Lucille walks me through what looks like some sort of garden area. I feel like I'm walking into the Botanical Gardens instead of walking into a night club in South Central.
“This place is a lot...bigger than I thought,” I state as I walk in there.
“Your brother's been expanding,”
she explains to me, “But you know I still owe you for hooking
me up with this gig...”
My brother used to be
freaked out back in the day before I went to jail with working with
people like Lucille. The lady had something of a record I guess.
She wasn't the cleanest person and neither were her girls. I guess
the fact that he was still using her to staff the club let me know
that it worked out for the best or something.
“Expanding how?” I
ask.
“Your brothers a good business man.”
I
give her a hard look, “Look at this place. Marble
walls...diamond chandeliers. Three more extra dance floors that
weren't in this bitch when I came in here. There is a goddam five
deck parking lot just for this place out front. That used to a
corner store out there. You mean to tell me all of this shit is
legit?”
“Why don't you talk to
Joshua?”
Lucille hated my brother. Had that changed
in the past 5 years too?
“Lucille. You always kept
it real. Like you said...remember who got you this gig in the first
place.”
Lucille stops me. We are midway in the
club. She gives me a look. I give her a look.
“I like you, Jamison,”
Lucille states, “But I also know who writes my checks. So
maybe you should go talk to your brother. But I'm glad you're home.
Enjoy the night, love. I'll send my girls over if you need
anything.”
Lucille walks away, taking her oversized
gown with her as though she is still stuck in the goddam Prohibition
days. I walk away from her and make my way to the bar feeling more
frustrated then ever.
Something was going on here. I
still hadn't fucking heard from Joyous and my brother Joshua was on
some whole other shit.
Something weird was going on.
“Can I buy you a drink?”
I hear a voice state.
I turn. It's a guy standing there.
He's handsome. He's brown and looks like if Shemar Moore had a baby
with Trey Songs. His eyes are chinky. His skin is this pretty camel
tone. His lips are pink and he's tall. I swear he must be mixed
with Asian or something. He is most definitely fine to say the
least.
“You the dude from the tuxedo
shop...”
“Weird concidence.”
“You
following me?”
“What makes you say that?”
I
pause, “Keon send you...”
He laughs a little
bit. He's gorgeous. His teeth are so perfect that I think they are
fake.
“I don't know what you talking
about bro. I honestly don't,” he explains to me extending his
hand, “My name's English Glover.”
“What
kind of name is English?”
“The name my mom
gave me,” he responds.
He doesn't sound uppity. He has a long tight taper haircut. It's long on top with natural curles and the side is closely cut. He has a neatly trimmed beard and diamond earrings in his ear. He sounds like he's from South Central but honestly I don't really recognize him at all. I was born and raised in South Central California. If he was from here then he had to have left a long time ago.
He's fine as fuck. Too fine
and after all the shit going on with Graph I most definitely wasn't
going to risk this shit. I turn away from English and I see Keon.
Fine ass Keon. He's sitting up near the stage and seems to be
talking to the DJ, who is also one of his homeboys from back in the
day.
“I got to go do something man,” I tell English.
“Actually I was hoping that I can
talk to you about something...”
“Maybe
later.”
“It's important.”
“Can't
be important if I don't know you man,” I respond.
I know I'm being rude. Never in my
life had I been rude to a guy that looked all dapper and still hood
like English. He was my type and that scared the fuck out of me.
If Keon was going to try to distract me from how mad I was, I could
tell he was getting better at it.
As I approach Keon I
notice him trying to walk away from me.
“You avoiding me,” I
state, cornering him.
Keon gives me a confused look.
“What? What are you talking about?” Keon asks.
“I'm talking about you
avoiding me,” I tell him, “We need to talk.”
Keon
looks nervous as fuck at that moment like a fucking deer stuck in
headlights. He was good at sending Joshua to come fight his battles
or telling some stranger how “good” I was but he couldn't
come have this conversation with me myself.
“It's not a good
time...clearly...”
“You are about to marry my
brother. It's the only time,” I state, “You owe me an
explanation on this shit, Keon. You really do.”
“Didn't
Joshua talk to you about this already?”
“I
want to hear it from you.”
“I figured
Joshua.”
“You know I wasn't close to Joshua,”
I respond to him at that moment, “I was close to you man. You
hurt me.”
“I hurt you?” Keon asks me,
“Listen. How many people did you cheat on me with when we were
together? Brian? Shantelle? Weren't you bout to marry
Shantelle?”
“That was the past...””
I was confused on my sexuality. My
father was forcing me to be straight and marry for prestige.
Shantelle was who that was. Brian was just the easy guy who I could
fuck and not feel anything for. It was always different with Keon.
Every time I was with Keon it was just...different... I loved him.
We had been together for way too long to just pretend like it was
nothing.
That was exactly what Keon was doing
right now though.
“Right, Jamison. It was the past.
And so were you and me,” Keon explains to me, “That was
the past too...”
Keon telling me this hurts. The
shit fucking hurts.
“Keon...”
“I'm not trying to be evil about
this shit but a lot of shit happened when you are gone. A lot of
shit with AK, Jamila, Joyous and Joshua. A lot of shit you missed.
So sorry if I moved on man. And my fiance is waiting up for me
man.”
Keon walks away at that point. I look up at the
skybox where he is headed up. I notice Joshua has been looking down
from the skybox this whole time watching us. He doesn't have an
expression on his face. He doesn't need an expression.
Teh fact that Keon was running up there right now proves one thing and one thing only.
Joshua was winning.
For now...
~
I get a knock on the door the next morning.
“I'm sleeping in!”
“You
have a visitor,” the person at the door tells me.
It's Graph. I go to the door
and see Graph standing there. He is shirtless. He has nothing on
but some little trunks.
“Really...”
“I'm
taking the girls out for a swim. Maybe you can join us when you're
done.”
I ignore him.
“You said I had a
visitor.”
“Yeah, he's at the door.”
“My
brother?” I ask.
“No...your brother's in the
shower.”
“Not Joshua. I'm talking about
Joyous.”
“I haven't met Joyous...it could be,”
he states.
Strange. If Graph had indeed
been working for Joshua then how the fuck was it possible that he
hadn't met Joyous. I knew Joyous. There was no way in hell he would
have stayed away for this long. Joyous felt like he had to control
everything including other people's relationships.
I head to the door and I'm surprised when I see English Glover standing at my door.
“Yo...are you stalking me or something?” I ask.
“I have to talk to you,” he states.
“Bro...go the fuck
away...”
I try to close the door but English puts a
foot in the door. He stops it. I'm so confused. What the fuck was
really going on here.
“I'm Shantelle's widower,” he tells me.
“Shantelle's widower?”
“Shantelle's
dead.”
Shantelle was the girl I was going to marry.
The girl I was going to marry a long time ago to hide the fact that I
was gay.
I guess she did get married after
all...
“I'm sorry to hear that,” I state.
“That's not why I'm here,”
he tells me, “I'm here because you need to know
something.”
“What? What could be that
important?”
He points towards the car at that
moment.
I see this little boy. The little boy is just standing there.
“You have a son,”
English tells me.
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