Date: Thu, 13 Oct 2005 01:39:55 EDT From: RitchChristopher@cs.com Subject: briarwood:briarwood-lost-32 All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> "BRIARWOOD" Copyright Ritchris, 2005 aka "Whence Cometh My Help" Copyright Ritchris, 2002 Revised Version A dramatic saga by Ritch Christopher <><><><><> BOOK THREE "BRIARWOOD LOST" Chapter Thirty-Two <><><><><><><> "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MOON?" Cliff and Roger were sitting in a double size hammock on the veranda of their estate, digesting the usual fabulous meal that Jay had prepared. It was twixt sunset and moonrise. There was just enough red dust on the horizon to magnify the full moon larger than life. It was huge and golden as it appeared over the shadow of darkened trees in the distance. The two lovers were sipping mint flavored cream liqueur. They each had a book in their laps which they hadn't opened while they listened to Billie Holiday on the CD player quietly wail one of her mournful songs. "Every night was long and gloomy. Shadows gathered in the air. No one ever listened to me, No one wondered, 'Did I care?'. None in all the world to love me; None to count the stars that hung. Then the moon came out above me And I saw that it was young." The tempo changed as Billie got to the main refrain. "I wished on the moon for something I never knew. ...wished on the moon for more than I ever knew. A sweeter rose; a softer sky; an April day that would not dance away. I begged of a star to throw me a beam of two. I wished on a star and asked for a dream or two. I looked for every loveliness. It all came true. I wished on the moon for you." The song was the last cut on the CD, so that Roger and Cliff sat quietly breathing in the moment and appreciating all of nature's creations. "Did you know that last song?" Roger asked. "Yeah, it's one of my favorites. I have recordings of it by both Sinatra and Fitzgerald." Cliff replied. "Did you ever wish on the moon?" "I still do." "Isn't that like a prayer substitution?" "You tell me." Cliff challenged. "I suppose not when you really think about it. People pray to offer thanks for things given them. They ask for guidance and usually ask for things out of the normal range of possibility. Whereas, wishing on the moon is more pretentious, filled with wistful wishes and fantasy yearnings." "There, you see, you knew as much about it as I," Cliff remarked. "The kids of today..." Roger continued, "do you think they make wishes on the stars or the moon as we did?" "I've wondered that, Rog, and the answer scares me." "Why?" "Because the moon doesn't have a remote control. You can't change its color and size when you want to. It takes 30 days to complete its cycle and that's too long for most kids of today to wait or care about." "Too bad. The moon has painted indelible images throughout history. It played an important part in war and battles. More importantly, it played a definite role in love. Cleopatra came down the Nile on her barge in the moonlight so that she would look her best. Something about the moon influenced Beethoven to write his 'Moonlight Sonata' and Debussy to compose his immortal, 'Clair de Lune'. How many thousands of contemporary song writers have correlated the moon and falling in love? ..."Blue Moon"... "By the Light of the Silvery Moon"..."Moonlight Bay"... "Moonglow"... "Moon Over Miami"..."Moonlight Becomes You." Nearly all of our greatest composers have been affected by it in some way. Nowadays...the newer songs the kids sing seldom mention the moon. Are they not aware of how wonderful it is to sit, holding hands or embracing, while letting the moon do the talking for them?" Roger added. "It's not just the moon, Rog. People have forgotten to look for the beauty in all nature. I can still stare for hours at a butterfly or a bee gathering pollen. They have continued doing their part to procreate nature for us while we've taken the things they do for granted. I remember when we were boys and loved to stroll and wade in the ocean under the moonlight, holding hands. Nowadays. the only people I see holding hands or walking in the ocean at night, are older people trying recapture their youth. In those days you didn't need to get high on drugs, you could get high on nature...I did! I could see a wave and wonder if it had originated off the coast of Scotland or maybe South Africa. How long did it take to reach our shores? Once it surfaced and splashed on the beach, its journey was over. It had traveled for days and weeks over thousands of miles, surviving all the elements, for one whoosh. Was it worth it? Probably. It's better to go through life making one tiny whoosh than to live your life out with no purpose." "You know what I would like to do?" Roger said excitedly, "I would like to go on a field trip and take Jeff, Jason, and Tony..and maybe Earl. Show them the true meaning of life in the forests, in open fields, or by the ocean. Someone has to pass on what we learned after we're gone." "Roger, it's a good idea, but you can't reinvent civilization or change an entire generation to our way of thinking," Cliff said to him. "I won't try," Roger added, "I just want to expose a few of them to it. The X-generation has totally different concepts when it comes to the value of a dollar, what war is, and the way to hold on to the principles of what we regard most highly and need, as opposed to 'what we have now is all that's important'." "Are you implying that the parents of today are raising a bunch of spoiled brats?" Cliff asked, half in jest. "No, I'm just saying that parents haven't made their kids aware of how to prepare for the future." "And all this because we no longer look at or sing about the moon?" "You got it!" he said, as if to say 'Eureka!'. "Roger, did you listen to what we were saying just now?" "Sure, we said it, didn't we?" "Not only WHAT we said, but the way we said it." "Whaddya mean?" "I mean we sounded like two decrepit old geezers. Jesus! Everything we said was in opposition to your true feelings." "Not really, Cliff. I don't want them to see things the way I do...I just want them to see them in their own perspective, but the main thing is...to SEE them...starting with the moon." he replied, pretending to pout as if Cliff had chastised him for acting his age. "All right, FATHER Cliff, look at the moon and tell me what you see." Cliff thought for a moment before responding, "A big wheel of green cheese." "THERE! You just proved my point. GREEN CHEESE! That's what we used to think the moon was made of. The kids today see the moon as a landing pad for spaceships or a place to point a spy satellite from...NOT ONE OF THEM think of it as a ball of green cheese anymore." Roger said, halfway frustrated. "That's why I've always loved you." Cliff said to him. "You're still Peter Pan with the same whimsical view you've always had...and I hope...will ALWAYS have." "I love you, too, but did you see my point?" "Of course I see your point, I just don't think the whole younger generation has to see it, too." "Well, they can see it...they don't have to agree with it." "Shut up, Baby Snooks, and let's go to bed...Let's not miss that moonlight shining in our bedroom window." "The one that makes oak tree branches dance on our walls?" "The one and the same." "Why don't we stay outside and smooch awhile?" Roger said rubbing his forehead against Cliff's. "Because you would get me all hot and bothered and I'd have to fuck you, right here on the veranda." "In front of God and everybody?" Roger kidded..."Hey, who said that?... 'In front of God and everybody'?" "Sandra Dee said it to Troy Donahue in 'A Summer Place', you dummy!" "I thought it was Tab Hunter who said it to Aldo Ray in 'Battle Cry'." "Nope." "Then what did Tab SAY to Aldo?" "Why 'nuncha' come up and see me some time, big boy?" "Do you really think there are as many guys in the closet in Hollywood as the tabloids infer?" "Probably...only now the casting couches are leather...with chains and handcuffs." "Really?" "I have it on the best authority. The crown has made it clear...according to Arthur in 'Camelot'." "I'll bet Arthur showed Guinevere the moon." Roger added. "Yeah, and he mooned Lancelot!" "Wanna see my moon?" Roger said, festively, dropping his trousers and bending over. "Well, what do you think." "It looks more like Saturn with rings around it...WAIT! WAIT!...It's NOT Saturn...it looks more like...yeah, it's coming into view...Good God! It's a black hole!!!" "Ass!" "That's part of it!...Tell me, Captain Kirk, does your black hole have a bottom to it?" "Why don't you explore the first seven and a half inches of it and see for yourself." "Oooh, I love to go on expeditions." "Keep your eye on it so it won't disappear and follow it into the bedroom." "Only if you put the John Williams CD on the machine. I want the whole affair underscored." The two of them laughed and embraced like old friends and lovers. They were glad to be together. They went into the house and down the hall unaware that their conversation had been overheard by Jay and Troy, who were about to come out on the veranda. Jay and Troy sat down on the edge of the porch and dangled their legs. "They're like two kids," Troy said. "Two kids in love." Jay added. "Do you think we'll be just like them when we've been together as long as they have?" "Yep!...At least I will." Jay said with certainty. "Baby, I'm so glad about your tests. Do you really believe they've arrested that goddamned stuff?" "Totally. First of all because I choose to believe it and secondly because God meant for us to be together a long, long time." "Heck, we've been through so much. I guess we deserve a bit of happiness." "It's strange it took us so long to find each other, especially in the way that we did." Jay replied, wistfully. "Life can be painful sometimes and also, life can be beautiful...sometimes both." "You still believe that Cliff was sent from God and he's our guardian angel." "Yep. I have no doubt about it." Jay remarked with assurance. "Did you hear their whole conversation?" "Most of it. Which part are you referring to?" "The bit about the moon." Troy replied. "What about it?" "Well, what do you see when YOU look at the moon...green cheese or what?" "I see a great big question mark." "Explain." "Oh, looking at the moon sometimes fills me with questions and doubts." "About what?" Troy asked, putting his arm around Jay's shoulder and looking up at the moon. "How old is it? How long has it been orbiting around the earth? And if I look beyond it...the universe...how vast is it? How many more universes are there out there? Is the earth really over 65 billion years old as some scientists say? God, it's been difficult for me to imagine living from one year to the next. We haven't lived to see thirty yet and for some that's a whole lifetime...but 65 billion? Has God been there all this time? How old is He? It makes me wonder if the world will still be here 65 years from now, let alone 65 billion more." "I somehow don't think we'll be around to find out." "But Troy, what if WE are wrong. What if the theory of reincarnation is not just a theory? What if we do come back time after time? "I'm sure that if we do, we'll be together again. I'm certain that we're soulmates and are destined to be together now and always." "What if one of us is stillborn or dies while he's still a child?" "Then, we'll miss that go 'round and get together on the next." Troy said, pulling Jay's head to rest on his shoulder. "It can be romantic, though." "What?" "The moon, silly! I think Roger's right about that. People don't look at the moon the way they used to." "Oh? And how should people look at it?" "The moon is multifaceted, like people. It changes its face and mood thirty times every month. Then the following month, it appears at a different place in the sky, so it's constantly changing. Sometimes it hides and we only see just a smidgen of it. Sometimes it's cold and white. Other times it's warm and golden. Sometimes when it sets in the ocean, say in California, it's red as blood. The moon controls the ebb and flow of the tides. Did you ever hear that mental hospitals go berserk when there's a full moon?" "Yeah, but just not in mental hospitals." "Some doctors have a theory that since the human body is made up of 87% water and the full moon acts as a magnet to the tides, causing the water in the body to rise to the brain...thus, water on the brain...crazy...crazy!" "Do you believe that?" "It makes sense to me." Jay said. "NOTHING makes sense to you!" Troy kidded him, turning to give Jay a quick kiss on the nose. "All right, smartie, if you know so much...what is a blue moon?" "I know...without using a life line. It's when the moon is on a cycle where it's full twice in one month." Jay said, smugly. "Uh huh! You thought I didn't know, did you?" "I'm pleasantly surprised." "Now tell me what you know." "I only know that I love you." Troy said, earnestly. "Tell me something I DON'T know..." "I know I don't want to live one day without you." "I know that too. Troy, I don't think I could have conquered this blight if it weren't for you. You are my raison d'etré." "LOOK! There's a shooting star." Troy said, pointing at the sky. "Make a wish!" Both of them closed their eyes and held still for a moment of silence. "Did you always do that as a kid?" Jay asked. "Yeah, I guess so. I remember my brother and me going out on the roof of our apartment house in Brooklyn every night at dusk. We'd wish on the first star we saw every night." "Did any of your wishes ever come true?" "I'm sitting here with you, aren't I?" Troy said, quietly leaning over to quickly kiss Jay on the lips this time. "What did you wish for, just now?" "Same thing I always wish for...a cure for AIDS and a vaccination against the HIV virus." "Just keep wishing, Babe, they're gonna find them. I'm sure of it. The doctors must be getting close. Look how well you've become." "You know why, don't you?" "If you say it was that fucking broccoli, I'll rap you on the side of your head.!!!" "Seriously, that might have had something partially to do with it, plus the new meds and Cliff's words and prayers, but mostly it was you. When I met you I was dying. I barely had a few weeks left. Then you came into my life and showed me how to love and convinced me that someone could love me. I suddenly had a purpose, a reason to keep on living. If my time were short, I wanted to spend one more day with you...and then another...until finally I made up my mind that I just couldn't die and leave you. You were mine and I was yours and we had a whole lifetime ahead of us." "By God, if that's what did it, you ought to write a book and let everyone in on your little secret." "I plan to tell everyone once the hospital gets finished and we start admitting HIV patients. I'm not going to say it this bluntly, but my message is...'If you want to get well, first you have to know how to love...and be loved." "Think that will do it?" "I'll show them my t-cell count before I met you and how far it had elevated six months later." "You wanna do what Cliff and Roger did?" "What?" "Go to bed early and make mad passionate love and watch the moon through our window?" "Sounds like a winner!" "Let's go." Troy took Jay by the hand and led him back into the house, down the long marbled hall into their bedroom where they stripped, lay down, and looked at the moon. <><><><><><><><><><><> Meanwhile, in another part of Briarwood, Walter Clayton sat beside his newly built swimming pool, having a drink and toasting his new law partner, David Royer. Nearly two weeks had passed since David had become a member of Walter's firm. Vivien, David's wife, having sensed the end of their marriage, had taken a trip to Montana to visit her mom and dad. This left David free to visit Walter at Walter's new estate to discuss business, clients, and various other things. The "other things" had been the main focus between the two, for their relationship had progressed and Walter felt it was time to take David to bed for the first time. "My God! What a beautiful moon." David said. "Yes, it's lovely," replied Walter. "David, when you were a kid, did you ever go on a hayride?" "Sorry, Walt, but the closest I ever came to a hayride was one I saw in a movie." "I'd be willing to bet that the kids of today, including my own, have no idea what a hayride is...or was! We used to have them down south. We'd rent a wagon, hitch it up to a horse or maybe two, depending on the size of the load of kids, spread about four bales of hay in the wagon, get your favorite date and all of us would lie back and look at the stars while the wagon driver took us for a ride far back into the countryside. The only drawbacks were the sniffles you'd get sometimes from hay fever or the sudden aroma of manure when one of the horses decided it was time to go...but, oh my God, what a wonderful time we had looking at the harvest moon!" "You never told me you were a rebel. You certainly don't have a trace of a Southern accent." "I was twelve when my folks moved to Birmingham. Prior to that, I was born and reared in Vermont...where they also had pretty moons, especially in winter." "Ah...'Moonlight in Vermont'..." "Exactly. I take it you are familiar with the song?" "Yes, I may be young, but my parents taught me to appreciate good music." "There's something unique about that song. Margaret Whiting's father, Richard wrote those beautiful lyrics. They paint a picture of Vermont and the strangest thing about the words is that there is no rhyming scheme. You think the words rhyme, but they don't even come close." "I'll swear. I'd never realized that...but you're right! They don't rhyme." "I just thought you ought to know that little tidbit in case Regis ever called you to be someone's Life Line." "You're just filled with all kinds of trivia, aren't you? I'm saying that because I've learned so much from you these past two weeks." "There's lots more I want to teach you." Walter said. "Such as...?" "How to make love with a man." "I've been thinking about it." "And...?" "I think I'm about ready." "How about tonight? Do you think you could spend the night?" "What about your boys? Won't Alex and Jeff suspect something if they see me going into your bedroom?" "Hell, you're lucky they didn't invite you first!" "Your sons are gay?" "Both of them!" "And you don't object?" "Jesus, no! Why should I let them grow up missing what I've found to be the greatest pleasure on earth? They let me know as soon as the two of them were sure about their sexuality. I thought it was my duty as a father, not to try to change them. but to encourage them to be safe in everything they tried." "Goddamn, Walter, you are one in a million. I've never heard of any father being that understanding with his kids." "I love them, David. There are many ways to show love to your children. Are you familiar with the off-Broadway show, 'The Fantasticks'?" "You won't believe this but I played Matt in our high school production." "Then you know the song the two fathers sing about the best way to get your kids to do something is to say 'no' to them. You tell a kid, not to drink, smoke, do drugs, or have sex and those are the first things on his mind. It's like saying 'Don't think of elephant!' and of course, that's the first thing you think of. I knew that if I told my boys that gay sex was wrong, they'd try it anyway...so why not just use reverse psychology and let them try it with their father's full approval on the condition they practiced 'safe sex'." "Do either of them have a steady boyfriend or lover?" "Alex does. You might've seen him with a good-looking kid at church last Sunday. His name is Ted. They've been together for over a year now." "And...Jeff." "You know that Jeff wants to become a priest." "Yes, I saw him helping Cliff last Sunday at the service." "Well, before he went through this religious transformation, anything that had a bulge beneath the fly on a pair of teen jeans was Jeff's prey. There was this one kid that he'd first experimented with. But after he learned how to do what he liked, it was 'Damn the torpedoes, here I come. Thank God and Cliff, Jeff's over that now." "Cliff's seemed to influenced a lot of people in their ways of thinking and accepting the gay lifestyle. Even his sermons are quite overtly gay oriented." "That's because he's so sure of himself in his relationship with Roger. Their happiness seems to spill over on everyone who meets them...By the way, I assume you have had a chance to talk with Roger." "Yes, he invited me to have dinner with him, Cliff, and the two guys that live with them, Jay and Troy." "Is everything copacetic between you and Roger now?" "Perfectly, only I didn't get into the way I felt about him in college, nor did I tell him about what was going on between Viv and me...which is to say, he knows nothing at all about our...yours and my...budding relationship. He still thinks I'm happily married and straight as an arrow, as he thought I was when the two of us were roommates." "Are you going to let him know about the way you feel now?" "In time." "I suppose that's a cue for ME to ask how you feel now?" "Well, I know for sure I'm not straight any more. I might not have had sex with a man yet, but I know how I feel about it." "You said a few moments ago that you were 'ready' and I invited you to spend the night. You didn't really give me an answer." "Since you told me what you did about Alex and Jeff, I see nothing wrong in my staying." "Are you ready to have sex? We can progress as slowly or as fast as you like." "Walter, I want to learn everything there is to know. I want to feel everything there is to feel...Will you teach me how to love?" "Nothing would give me more pleasure. Do you want to finish your drink first?" "You think I need it to get my courage up? I warn you that alcohol might keep another part of me down." "In that case, set the damned glass down and I'll go fix you a glass of Ovaltine." They both laughed, nervously, but laughed, all the same. They both had a rush of emotional recall about each of their wedding nights, only this time it wasn't their brides they were worried about. Walter was about to take David's virginity and the idea of it scared the hell out of him. In like manner, David wondered if he could please Walter, being the neophyte that he was when it came to male lovemaking. They both needed a stiff drink, but each of them thought better of it. Walter didn't turn on the lights in his bedroom. There was a spill of moonlight glowing across the room from the windows of the huge French doors. It was practically daylight in the room from the moon spill. Walter led David to the side of his bed and began to undress him, slowly...piece by piece. It was almost a ritual like preparing a lamb before the slaughter, only Walter refused to think of it in those terms. David thought the best thing to do would be to copy everything that Walter did to him. So every piece that Walter removed from David...David, in turn, removed the exact article of clothing from his mentor. Soon Walter was down to the last piece...David's briefs. Before he removed them. he place the palm of his hand over the patch in the crotch and held it there while he kissed David. David was stunned at the first touch of a man's hands on his private parts and instantly became erect. Walter was pleased with the response he had been hoping to get. Walter was wearing boxers and nervously, David put out his hand to touch the front of Walter's underwear. Before David reached the white cotton fabric, Walter took David's hand and threaded it through the fly in the front. David was feeling flesh...male flesh and it was more exciting than he had ever dreamed it would be with his old flame, Roger. David closed his fingers around Walter's shaft and the penis took its natural course and began to swell. Just how far, David wasn't sure, since this was his first to ever touch. "Walter, I'm shaking." David whispered. "I'm scared." "I know, Dave. You're doing just fine. I want you grab me in your hand and hold tight. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not going to belittle you in anyway or in anything you do. So just try and relax." David took a deep breath and tried to exhale all his trepidation. He told himself he was doing what he had longed to do for years and that he was in safe hands with the one man that honestly cared for him. It was just a bit much for a normal, healthy, married man who had fought dragons in the courtroom to be so intimidated by first-time love-making. He felt as if he were a male version of Jane Eyre, who had been locked up for years in a tower, on the brink of losing his masculine virginity. Walter took it slow, promising not to rush anything that might alarm David or do anything David wasn't ready to do. Walter remembered when he and Bruce had taken Alex and Ted on the camping trip and taught them the wonders of male love-making. The main difference of course, was that Alex and Ted had been in their teens and totally inexperienced. David, on the other hand, was married. He was the "man" of his family and master of his bedroom, only now, David was in new territory, in another man's bedroom and the object of another man's affection. Not knowing what to do next. David decided to masturbate Walter a little. This was a brave act for him but on the whole it seemed quite juvenile. "Is it OK, if I do this?" David asked. "Do anything you want to, the night is yours." Walter assured him. "Can we eliminate the kid stuff and do something a little more daring?" David asked, thanking the gods that the room was dark and Walter couldn't see the expression on his face except from the glow of the moonlight on his countenance. "All right." Walter continued. "I know it's dark, but I want you to close your eyes for a minute. Don't be alarmed, but I'm going to remove your shorts." "Fine." Walter eased the briefs down David's legs and positioned himself on his knees in front of David's crotch. Walter reached up and grabbed David's penis and began massaging it as if he were kneading dough. The action worked because David's member soon became even more hard and firm in Walter's grip. Walter leaned forward and blew his hot breath on the throbbing cock. The warm air had an opposite effect on David because he experienced a chill through his body. The chill turned to a hot flash when David felt Walter's mouth envelope him. In all the years he'd been married to Vivien, neither of them had attempted oral sex. They had always dismissed it as disgusting and dirty. Only in David's dreams and fantasies had he imagined what it would be like...and only with a man. But the probability of this ever happening to him had been beyond the realm of all possibilities...and suddenly, the moment was here...it was happening...not in a dream, but in real life...HIS life. All inhibitions vanished in that one instant. He was certain now that he was gay. The only fear he had was that he might be falling in love with his boss. "FALLING IN LOVE"...this was something he hadn't planned on happening. For the next two hours, Walter carefully took David on a guided tour through wonderland...manually, orally, anally, and all the other 'ly's' they could think of. . The movements were slow, endearing, and unforgettable. Walter hadn't realized how much he had missed having sex with Bruce and the emotional and physical release was wonderful for him. It was during the third kiss that Walter starting questioning his feelings for David. Was it merely physical or did he have a genuine romantic feeling for his new law partner? It didn't really matter, neither of them had spoken of love. David hadn't resisted anything Walter had tried with him. Physically, they were both having a fantastic evening. There would be many nights to come when they could speak of feelings and how far they would or should take their relationship. Down the hall, Jeff knocked on his brother, Alex's door. "You awake, bro?" Jeff asked. "Yeah, Ted and I were just lying here looking at the moon." "Me, too. It's almost daylight in my room...the moon's so bright." Jeff added. "Anything you want?" Alex asked. "Not particularly...it's just I was wondering if you had heard any strange noises coming out of Dad's room?" "Yeah. Seems like old times when 'Uncle' Bruce used to spend the night with Dad." Alex replied, smiling. "Do you think that Dad and Mr. Royer are serious about each other?" "I hope so." "Why do you say that." "Jeff, you know how lonely Dad has been since 'Uncle' Bruce stopped calling him...or coming over." "Yeah, but this guy...why, Dad hardly even knows him." "Dad knows what he's doing and I'm for it...and you should be, too." "OK...if you're glad, then I'm glad." Jeff said with finality. "Wanna hop in my bed and spend the night with us?" "Come on, Jeff," Ted said. "I can only bite your brother!" "I see you've got Ted well trained," Jeff joked. "When you fall in love for real, bro, you'll find out that trust takes the place of training," Ted replied. "You got room for me?" Jeff asked. "Always," Alex said, "You know I love both of you...almost equally, now," Jeff said. "We love you, too, bro," Ted said. Alex added, "I know I've never said this to you, but, Jeff, I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're my brother. I know it might seem crazy to you to hear me say that...especially when I doubted your reasons for wanting to become an acolyte and finally announcing you wanted to become a priest." "Alex, I overheard Father Cliff talking to 'Uncle' Roger about you and the way you saved that guy's life the other night. He said in your own way, that made you some kind of a priest, too." "Heck, I ain't no priest. I was just doing my job." Alex said, becoming defensive. "Yeah, but the way Father Cliff told it, it was the WAY you did your job. He said, not everyone could've said and done the things you did...and well, the way you said and did them...that guy is alive, today...all because of you." "Jeff's right, babe," Ted said. "Oh, shut up, both of you! Jeff jump in this bed and give us both a hug." Jeff complied and crawled into between Alex and Ted, gave them a big embrace; lay his head on Alex's shoulder and reached over to hold Ted's hand. They remained that way long after they had fallen asleep, their bodies clung together basking in the moonlight. <><><><><><><><><><><><> Now that Walter had moved into his larger house, Kyle and Ryan had been given the option of moving into the house with Alex, Jeff, and him, or the two of them could move into the guest house at the end of the swimming pool. Of course, wanting their privacy, Ryan and Kyle had chosen the guest house. Kyle had been sitting in his living room in the dark looking out the window across the pool while Walter and his new law partner, David sat talking at far end. After Walter and his guest retreated into the main house. Kyle came out and sat at the edge of the pool and dangled his feet in the water. He lit a cigarette and slowly inhaled the first puff of smoke as if he needed to relieve the tensions of the day. A few minutes later, Ryan also came out and joined him, putting his feet in the water, too. "What's the matter, babe?" Ryan asked him. "Can't sleep," Kyle replied. "That fucking full moon is keeping me awake." "Did you take your meds?" "Yeah, the whole mug full of 'em." Kyle said. "God, it's seems all I do is take pills 24 hours a day." "Now, don't start...You know how much better they've made you. Your last count was normal." "I know. I guess I shouldn't be so ungrateful. Yours was even more normal than mine." "Thank God for medical science...and for Walter, Cliff, and Roger. Without them, I wouldn't have you." "I know that...and I wouldn't have you." "Wanna go for a dip? It might make you tired enough to go to sleep." "No, I'm tired enough...I may be too tired." "What do you think of David?" Ryan asked. "He's not my type but I like him. I think Walter does too.' "Oh? What is your type?" "Something wrong with your eyesight or are all the mirrors in the house broken?" "Thanks." Ryan said, feeling reassured by Kyle's remark. "Do I still make you happy?" "That's your second stupid question in a row! Of course you do, you nitwit." "I just think it's nice to reaffirm our love occasionally. I don't ever want to take anything for granted." "Except for having this goddamned disease, I'm probably the luckiest guy on earth." "No more lucky than I am. Walter has a pretty big heart to take both of us in the way he did." "Do you think Alex and Jeff know how fortunate they are to have a dad like Walter?" "I think so. I wish to God that my parents had been as understanding and accepting as Walter. Mine threw me out on the fucking street. They didn't give a shit about me." "Have you heard from either of your parents since you moved in with Walter?" "Not after I was able to get my stuff out of their house. They wanted no part of me...and the feeling was mutual." Ryan said, feeling a bit irritated speaking of his dad. "How about your folks?" Ryan asked, shifting the focus of the conversation to Kyle. "To them, I don't exist anymore, since they can't rely on me to be their meal ticket." "You actually supported them?" "Yep...rent, food, clothing, and anything else they wanted to buy. I thought they'd both bust a gut when I had my residual checks turned over to Walter. That's the least I could do after all he'd done for me." "Heck, Walter doesn't need your residual checks. Since he signed Roger for a client, he's set for life." "I know that. But, 'I' need to give him my checks. That way I keep my dignity and self-respect." "Shit! And I have nothing to give to Walter." Ryan said. "Walter doesn't want anything from you. Giving to you and me, all that he can, is what HE needs. There are givers and takers in the world. The two of us just happened to find a giver. Have you thought anymore about going to college?" "Yeah, now that I see we're both gonna live...and it looks like we're both gonna beat this disease. I need to make ALL of myself that I can. I've been thinking about going into medicine. I figure I can help the new AIDS hospital more that way. You still have plans about going into Administration?" "Full speed." Kyle said. "It's a far cry from show business, but like you, I think I owe something to guys like us who aren't as fortunate as we are." "I wish that everyone with big bucks could be like Roger. He has more money than God, and I swear, he'd give his last dollar if it was used to help people." "Do you ever feel like we're living in some kind of Utopia?" "All the time. I mean, look at us. We've got everything in life that we need and we're surrounded by the most loving people anyone could find. I don't think it's Roger's money that has made the difference in all of us. Take Rob and Timmy...sure, they had the advantage of having Roger to help them financially, but it was their talent that made them so successful. I hear their new Broadway show is a huge hit. I heard Cliff saying they were a shoo-in to win a Tony this year as best musical actor and musical director. Jay and Troy couldn't be happier...and then, there's the two of us...'Utopia' is an understatement!" "How do you feel about St. Genesius church?" "I don't know...I still don't know if I believe in God or not. I WANT to believe...and the feeling I get when I go to mass...well, it's not just like 'going to church just to be going'. I DO experience something. When I was a kid and went to Sunday service, I sometimes felt I was being preached to. I dreaded what was coming after Sunday School. Sunday school was kinda like stories and games, then I would leave and have to sit through a sermon that scared the hell out of me, convincing me I was on a one-way ride to hellfire and damnation...The thing that makes St. Genesius different from all the rest is that everyone has his own personal religion. When I kneel to pray...it's just God and me having our own private little talk. He knows what I want and I know what He wants of me. There's no third party to interfere. It's a private communion for two...God and me...I think that's what Father Cliff wants everyone to think during the mass. Cliff's one in a million...literally." "I can see you're sold on Cliff like everyone else." "Heart and soul." "I wonder how many thousands of people are turned off religion by not having someone as understanding as Cliff. I have the same kind of experience as you when I go to St. Genesius I know we have a tremendous number of gays and Lesbian who attend there, but the straight people don't seem to mind. The straights have their private God, the same as we, and they seem to accept and tolerate us, the same way we do to them." "God, would you look at that full moon!" "I've been looking at it all night. That's what kept me from sleeping." "Want me to buy you a sleeping mask tomorrow, Miss Kilgallen?" "Hey' it's almost time for 'What's My Line' on the Game Show Network! Wanna go watch it?" "Sure. Want me to fix a snack?" "Fix an appetizer, I'll feast on you after the show is over." "Promises! Promises!" They laughed and stood up out of the pool. Ryan reached for a towel on the back of one of the sun deck chairs and knelt to dry Kyle's feet. "While you're down there..." "Yes...?" "Forget it. I'll show you later." The two of them walked arm and arm back into the guest house. There was no one left by the pool to enjoy the moonlight. In two hours, it would be daybreak. <><><><><><><><><><><><> (To be continued in "Briarwood"--BOOK THRE--"Briarwood Lost"--Chapter thirty-two.) Copyright Ritchris, 2005.