Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2023 08:29:06 -0400
From: Craig Cruzer <69qo24@gmail.com>
Subject: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I slept with Larry last night and today I'm conflicted.  My world seems
to have flipped over.  Nothing's the same as it was before.  I'm not sure
it ever will be, and I'm not sure how to process it.  Of course, I didn't
literally sleep with him; it wasn't a sleepover party.  If it had been
that would be a lot easier for me to deal with.

I suppose it was inevitable.  I lost my job, wanted to get the hell out
of town, and Larry's invitation to visit him in his small, touristy town
seemed like the perfect panacea.  I hadn't talked with him much since he
moved up north and there was nothing holding me down in my dirty, tired
city, so I hit the road, figured we could talk about the usual inane
shit, burn a few blunts and knock back some brews.  I didn't plan to stay
more than a few days, but after a week Larry seemed to like having
someone around and I was in no hurry to go back and look for another
gig.  So, I started wearing his clothes, since I hadn't bought much with
me.  After a couple of weeks I had become, more or less officially, a
roommate.

Larry's job at a resort hotel kept him busy during the day, so I did what
seemed natural, washed some dishes occasionally, did a bit of
laundry...and watched a lot of porn.  One day I forgot to log out of
Pornhub on Larry's computer and when he came home he said, "Perfect!  The
best way ever to forget another lousy day at work!"  I popped a couple of
beers and lit one up while Larry hooked his computer up to the HDMI port
on his TV...his very large TV...and plopped down on the couch next to
me.  I'd like to blame what happened next on the beer and pretend it was
just a drunken brain lapse, but in truth neither of us had finished even
the first can when Larry started asking stuff like, "What kind of junk do
you like to watch?  You like big tits?  Jesus, look at the size of the
cock on that guy!  Can you believe she can suck it all down?  Fuck!"  I
kept my eyes on the screen and said, "Hey dude, whatever you're into.
It's your TV."

In retrospect, I realize that was my first mistake.  Larry was surfing
various porn vids and - ominously - landed on one where a guy was sucking
another guy's dick.  "You OK with this for a minute?  I can change it
back if you want."  I took the blunt from his fingers and said, "No, man,
whatever you like is cool."  That was probably my second mistake.  Or
maybe it wasn't a mistake.  Maybe part of me wanted it. It wasn't my
first time looking at gay porn, though I'd never admitted that to
anybody, and I'd come to realize that it turned me on as much as
"straight" stuff.  I felt a little weird about it, but not enough to turn
it off.  I was still straight.  I still liked to get it on with women,
though it had been a while.  Still, it couldn't hurt to watch a bit of
gay stuff every now and then, right?  You know, variety...right?

It was kind of strange, but after a few minutes I started to get really
warm.  Maybe it was the dope.  Sometimes it does strange stuff to me.  I
was a tiny bit dizzy.  Larry got up for a second beer and asked if I
wanted another, too.  "Sure, man, yeah."  I didn't turn around to look at
him in the kitchen.  I was looking straight ahead at the TV.  Eye contact
felt a bit scary for some reason.  Larry sat down, handed me a cold one,
popped his and put his legs up on the ottoman.  "Hey bro, looks like
those jeans are getting a little bit tight on you," Larry laughed,
looking at the bulge.  My face went red, I felt another five degrees
warmer.  I kept my eyes glued to the screen.  A black guy with an
enormous cock was fucking a white guy's headlights out.  "Hey, I didn't
mean to make you feel like you're gay or something.  Let's put on
something else."  "No, leave this on", I said.  "I want to see if he
gives him flowers or something at the end."  My clumsy attempt to tamp
down the heat with humor made Larry laugh so hard that he spilled beer
all over his jeans.  He jumped up, shucked his pants and boxers off and
plopped back down, still laughing.

After a couple of uncomfortable minutes he got serious and said, "Hey, if
this is making you feel weirded out, let's just turn this shit off."  For
the first time since we turned the TV on, I turned my head and locked
eyes with his.  But my eyes didn't linger long on his face.  Larry's hand
was on his cock, jerking it slowly.  "Bro, nobody has to know about
this.  Just 'cause you're watching some porn doesn't mean you're gay or
anything.  Do what's natural.  Get loose.  Kick those pants off.  It
doesn't mean nothing.  I mean, you jack off when you watch porn, right?"
I sort of nodded my head, trying not to watch him wanking.  It seemed
like his cock had gained an inch or two in just a few seconds.  I took
another swig of beer, stood up and stripped down to nothing but a
t-shirt.  "Now you're talking.  Have some fun.  Jesus, look at that kid
take cock.  That guy's destroying him!"  I kicked back and started
pulling on my cock.  Fuck it, we'd come this far.  Nothing had happened.
Just a couple of buddies watching some porn, right?

We lit another splif and while we were passing it, I found myself more
comfortable looking at Larry instead of just the TV.  Then, in a moment,
everything changed.  Larry dropped the dope in the ashtray and looked me
straight in the eye.  He didn't say a word.  He turned his body a few
degrees toward me and took his hand off his cock.  I stared at it.  I
couldn't stop.  The kid on the TV was screaming with each thrust and all
I could do was to stare at Larry's cock.  It felt like I just sat there
hypnotised until he broke the silence.

"Go for it.  You know you want it.  I know you want it.  What the fuck
are you waiting for?"  It was almost an out-of-body experience; I felt
myself leaning into his lap.  His cock looked huge and hard as hell.  I
felt my lips brush against his cockhead, almost like a kiss.  My tongue
licked a little bit, as if I had no control at all, and then I wrapped my
mouth around him and swallowed him down like I'd been doing it all my
life.  My cock was pounding like a volcano about to blow as I felt the
end of his pole against the back of my throat and my tongue licked the
bottom of his shaft.  Larry put his hands on the back of my head and held
it firmly in place.  His voice grew soft and deep.  "I've been waiting a
long time for this, for you to suck my cock.  I knew you would eventually
come around because I've known something about you for years."  His hands
loosened and my mouth backed off his shaft, but only for a second, before
I was sucking him like a baby sucks a tit.  "Maybe you didn't even know
it, but I think I knew the first time I saw you that you were born to
suck cock.  Look at me."  I took my mouth of his meat and looked up.
"Don't tell me you haven't wanted to taste my cock before.  Shit, you've
probably been dreaming about it for years."

But the truth was, I'd never thought for a moment about sucking Larry
cock, or anybody else's.  OK, I watched some guy porn here and there, but
that doesn't make me a...my mind was racing.  And in a second, my mouth
was back on his rod. As my lips wrapped around him and my tongue worked
the bottom side of his meat. I felt an electricity in my body that I'd
never felt before.  Even the best sex I ever had with a woman didn't come
even close to this.  In the back of my mind, a voice kept saying, "This
is wrong  This is wrong!"  But in the front of my mind, the part
connected directly to my eyes, I could almost see my head bobbing up and
down on his dick, and the spit running from my mouth and dripping down
his ball sack.

I ate Larry's cock like a raw bitch for about ten minutes before he put
his hands on my cheeks and pulled my head up until we were eye to eye.
His voice sneered, "OK camper,  it's time to party."  My brain and body
felt entirely disconnected as I followed him into the bedroom.  Larry
pulled off his t-shirt.  I pulled mine off.  I stood staring at his cock,
wanting it back in my mouth again.  I couldn't believe what was
happening.  I got down on my knees and got my lips around him just a
little, before he pushed me back and barked, "On the bed!  Now!  All
fours!!"  This had to stop.  I was scared shitless.  A voice inside told
me to walk away, but apparently Larry wasn't hearing the same voice.  He
put his hands around my shoulders, practically lifted me off the floor,
spun me around until I was facing the bed and then shoved me onto it.  I
was in a panic and tried to get up and run, but he was on me instantly
and I could feel his hard dick pressing against my ass.  "This is how
it's going to go, bro.  We're going on a field trip and you're going to
love it."  I could feel my heart pounding against the bedcover.  I heard
him spit.  It took me a second to realize that he was painting his cock
with a handful of liquid lust.  I tried to push up and move again, but
now his hands were on my ass cheeks as I dangled off the foot of the
bed.  He spread me wide open with his thumbs and I felt the next gob of
spit land directly on my asshole.  He gave me another spit shot, then
another, and then...

I'm not sure I realized it then, but now, as I think about it, I realize
that my body went limp, and any notion I'd had about ending it all just
melted away.  I felt the head of his cock on my hole and then the
pressure as he tried to push into me.  He pulled back.  "This isn't
working.  Get your whole body up on the bed.  I felt my knees on the foot
of the bed and then my entire body followed.  I laid face down with my
head smashed into a pillow, and then felt Larry's heat come over me like
a warm blanket.  He tried to enter me again, but my ass instinctively
tightened.  Now his face was next to mine, his body covering me like a
blanket and his voice, softly, "You gotta loosen up, bro.  You're going
to thank me for this."  Then he was back down on me, spreading my cheeks
and spitting repeatedly until I could feel the warm goo streaming down
around my balls.  One more shot of spit into his hand, the sound of Larry
slathering his cock, and then the sensation of his cockhead at my back
door again.  This time, no resistance.  I felt him push slowly into me
until he was all the way inside.  My hips jerked and I let out a little
squeal, "Fuck...it hurts."  No movement.  No backing out. "Seriously,
man, it hurts like fuck!"  Larry just stayed on top of me and spoke, in
little more than a whisper, "Hang in, buddy.  It only hurts for a few
seconds and after that it's pure pleasure."  He was right.  He kept his
cock deep inside of me, motionless, and in a minute the pain subsided.  I
think Larry could feel me loosen up.  He started to fuck me slowly.  I
couldn't believe how good it felt.  I couldn't believe I'd ever have
another dude with his cock in my ass, but it...felt...so...amazing.

With his knees, he spread my legs apart and started to fuck me harder,
and then harder still.  When he stabbed all the way into me there was a
quick, painful moment, but by this time I didn't care.  My mind was still
trying to make sense of it all.  Part of me was screaming "This is just
wrong!", but the rest of me wasn't listening.  Larry kept on fucking
harder and deeper and each time he hammered me, I wanted more.  The
feeling was incredible.  My whole body had melted.  He knew he had
me...and he wanted me to know it.  "Now I own you.  When I'm done fucking
you, all you'll be able to think about is how much you want to do it
again.  After I've broken you in good, you're gonna be my private pocket
pussy.  I tell you to suck my cock, you suck my cock.  I tell you to bend
over and spread, you give it up.  Today I'm gonna fuck you until you
can't walk.  Tomorrow you're gonna crawl back, begging for more."  He was
right.  I knew it.  What was happening to me? It was just gonna be a
couple of beers, a doob or two, some porn, that's all.  Now I was face
down in the pillow while Larry fucked me like a machine, and my body
began to instinctively push back and rock into each thrust.

He fucked me for about an hour, rolling me into positions I'd never even
imagined before.  He told me that he needed to stretch me out good, so
that I'd want more.  When he finished me off by shooting a huge load of
come deep inside me, it took me some time to get my breath back.  I
realized I'd been moaning like the kid in the porn video, and that it was
totally spontaneous, truly out of my control.

That was last night.  Today, I'm trying to put it all together, trying to
make some sense out of it.  I mean, I never thought I'd want to suck
another guy's cock, and I sure as hell didn't think I'd end up on my
back, getting fucked by a jack hammer.  It all seems unreal, and
yet...and yet?  And yet what?  Where do I go from here?  Was this just a
bizarre one-time thing or...would it happen again?  Then I saw the note
he'd scribbled and left on the kitchen counter before he went to work.
"You did great.  Tonight you get a reward.  I'm going to cum in your
mouth.  Then I'm gonna fuck you some more.  I own you."  He's right.  I
might as well face it.  I'm his fuck toy.  I'm gonna go downstate, pay
off the rest of the rent, grab my shit and move in with Larry.  I can
still feel his cock in my ass from last night; I can't wait to taste his
cum.

Maybe somebody out there has had a similar experience and will share it
with me.  Did you become a switch hitter overnight like I did, or did it
take a while?  Do you still like to fuck women?  I do.  I mean, I think I
do, but given my luck lately, it's not likely to happen any time soon.
If it doesn't, I'm not sure I'll miss it.  I've spent the afternoon
rolling it around in my head and I keep coming back to one undeniable
reality.  I'm a cock whore, a cum slut.  And I love it.  Who knew?  Larry
apparently did.  How come I didn't know it?  I'm counting the hours until
he comes home