Date: Wed, 11 Sep 2019 15:52:09 -0500
From: my3 <my3rdlife@zoho.com>
Subject: Health And Coffee - Part 1

Health and Coffee Part 1

{ A short story about a male oriented self-help group that meets under
the umbrella of a cooperative of men that support good sexual health for
its men members. I wrote this and am the author, but please read this as
though it is sourced in this manner:

This story appeared in a Men's Health Blog and it was captured and
Cut/Paste part of a Reddit subreddit that addressed men's health. }

[INTRO]

Ian presented me with a simple proposition I felt I had to accept or at
least understand better.

Ian insisted that we had to meet for coffee at a local second hand
bookstore, Jared's. Jared served some of the sweetest choices of fresh
coffee from delicate to outdoorsman - your preference. I preferred to
have normal, everyday American breakfast blend.

Ian had relocated from Australia to San Antonio about nine months ago.
He is a research scientist for UTSA, the local university.  His
specialty and his discipline was not salient to the story, but the fact
is, he had met Marty and the story starts with Marty and Ian. I am Marty.

In a normal off-duty social environment, neither Ian nor I would be
immediately pegged as professional in any way. We both dressed down very
casual and relaxed. But I had grown just a bit nervous, truth be told,
because this idea opened new territory to me.

Let me back up just a bit to where this came about.

[HEALTH AND COFFEE]

Two months ago, in late Spring, Ian and I first met. We were at a local
amateur photography MeetUp group one Saturday and there was free time
between the various speakers that approached the members with offers for
different photo sub-groups, or teams, to join. Just because we were
seated near each other, we talked. It turned out that we hit it off well
and felt like pals quite quickly.

In our chatting during breaks, we became more comfortable and trusting
with each other and discovered various idiosyncrasies we shared. Like
the fact that we were both long time nudists, we are both socially quite
liberal, and we both had felt increasingly comfortable about feeling an
expanding sexuality, almost to the point of self identifying as
bi-curious or at least generally curious.

As friends, we began meeting away from the photography groups. With both
of us having relatively flexible scheduling, we began having regular
coffees at either his apartment or my house and really developed a bond.

Our coffees did not have a specific form or context. But there was one
thing that was consistent and that was that we spent our coffee times
quite nude. Since both of us were long time nudists, we immediately took
to getting naked for our coffees and being freely naked, we similarly
spent our conversation equally as freely candid and exposed. We became
good friends in actuality, not just in name.

Both Ian and I are single and, as our candid discoveries developed, we
both were straight, but had come to recognize in our maturity that we
were somewhat bi-curious or at least open-minded.

It was into this friendship that Ian wanted to introduce an experience
he carried with him from the Land Down Under.

Ian had been part of a group of men that were all nudists that met for
teas on a regular basis, much like our own coffees. He related that just
when he emigrated from Australia to the US, the group was starting on a
kick to increase the health of the group. Not all were going to
participate, but almost all took part in the introduction classes. The
leader of the concept was a man that had been a Registered Nurse for
years and specialized at a Men's Health clinic.

His primary thrust was to teach ordinary men to self-examine and to take
preventative steps in their own health. And to make it more likely to
succeed, the idea was to get small, informal groups of men to
participate in supporting each other.

The program included many steps to help men live longer, healthier, and
avoid cancer and other diseases. And it tried to teach men to be
comfortable with their own and each others' body to the point that they
bonded in sharing the benefits of better health.

Ian said the leader of the initiative, a chap named Clanton, explained
that the course would be explicit, but would be totally voluntary and
every issue was optional. So, Ian shared this and asked if I had any
interest in investigating this concept together. He also had some of the
handouts that Clanton had provided and he copied them for me to study up
on, and left them for me.

Some of the steps were almost medical in nature, while others were
basically behavioral. Ian suggested that we study up and discuss the
items over time and consider if we had an interest in doing any of the
steps as well as considering inviting other like-minded men to join a
small group that might form a core group in our city.

Some of the steps were almost trivial, such as taking temperature with a
swipe of a device across the forehead, weighing, and reading blood
pressure. The edgier steps were the real question Ian was asking about.

For starters, Ian suggested, for instance, that we consider Item 7 from
Clanton's program, suggesting that it is simple, easy, everyone knows
how to do it offers the proven benefit of reducing the chances of, and
perhaps even preventing, both prostate and testicular cancer!

Of course I asked him to tell me more and was both surprised and sort of
excited to hear that it was to encourage daily masturbation. Clanton
quoted multiple university studies from around the world, that concluded
that men who masturbated at least once per day, on average, reduced
their chances of developing prostate (by up to 90%) and testicular
cancers (by up to 70%) as long as it was consistent.

Neither Ian nor I was particularly embarrassed by the subject. In fact
we had both previously discussed and offered that we enjoyed
masturbation and both even gotten somewhat erect in each other's
presence when our conversations touched on the erotic, which was not at
all uncommon.

I don't recall which of us suggested that we adopt that item just as an
easy thing to try, but it was no contest and we agreed to just do that
every time we met - encourage and practice masturbating as a normal
activity. So, Ian and I have, since then, always taken a few minutes to
masturbate in front of each other. And we always laugh at how much we do
to prevent cancer!

That first time we discussed it, I asked Ian if Clanton had added any
guidance to applying Item 7 from his program and the only thing he said
was that any way it was done was better than not doing it! So we each
looked at our own and each other's cock and shrugged before taking the
business at hand, in hand, and we began masturbating in front of each
other for the first time.

I am a one-handed, right handed masturbator while Ian is two-handed
using his second hand on his balls or his taint. Both of us occasionally
use a second hand on a nipple. In fact it was more arousing than I'd
have suspected to watch and be watched masturbating. It was so arousing,
that I let out a rather quick warning that I was about to cum after a
fairly short period and it was very soon then, that I felt my cock head
get harder and redder before it shot three or four healthy dollops of
sperm a few inches straight up and splashing back around my hand. I let
go the tension from my eruption and saw Ian looking at my display. Given
what he saw, he must have been driven over the line as well, and he
voiced "Now ..." in return and his own cum show looked very similar to
mine. We had broken what is, for most of us, a solid taboo and jerked
off together. It was truly great.

After we had cum, Ian and I looked at each other a bit sheepishly, but
this had been so good for us that both of us hoped to detect an element
of approval from the other. And we did. From throat clearing to start,
moments later, we mutually acknowledged that this had been a neat thing
and - we both showed, then said, we wanted to do this again. Perhaps
often, even every meeting.

We went three months without referring to Clanton or his papers. But we
religiously included a self masturbation session, and mutual commitment
to continue the practice,on our own, daily, as well as during our
coffees - week after week. In fact, coffees went from anywhere from two
or three weeks apart to a weekly habit.

I was the one that unexpectedly caused things to move forward. I didn't
intend to cause a change, but After a week came that we each actually
masturbated twice in the same coffee time, I simply asked or pondered "I
always wondered how it felt for other folks to masturbate. Is it the
same as it feels to me? Is it different?"

Ian didn't respond, but I could tell he was not ignoring me, he was
pondering, as I had been before asking. Then Ian finally returned with
"I wonder how you could ever truly sense how others feel or perceive
masturbating?"

We launched into a back and forth about how we felt, but neither of us
could grasp how another felt. Our first obstacle was the question 'how
does it feel to be felt by another person?' Really, what does a woman
feel to have a man or woman feel their breast? What does a man feel to
have a man or woman feel his, say, testicles or penis?'

Finally, this discussion devolved into me asking "Ian, what do you think
it would feel like for me to simply hold your penis for fifteen seconds
- then you do the same in return? Could we each describe the experience
and then successfully communicate it to each other?"

The momentary silence that ensued were stretched like play dough. I
wondered if Ian took my words wrong, did I say them wrong? Did I cross
through - or worse yet, blast far through some red line of behavior?

But actually, Ian responded much sooner than the tense pause made it
feel with "It is not that I think that would not be a great experience
to try, but it is exactly that I think that that WOULD be a great
experience and I'm trying to process how long that same question has
probably rattled around within MY own brain unrealized."

"Marty, I'm shocked at my own self-ignorance. Society has really made us
uncomfortable with nature, with ourselves, and with the world! More
basic than masturbating, I would like us to back up a bit and actually
take some no-blame, no-shame time to get to understand our own and each
other's fucking bodies! I'd like us to back up and get to know our own
and each other's penis and testicles,  and anus, and whatever. " I know
it is a risk, but what do you feel about that, Marty? How would you feel
about purposely including touching and being touched in our coffees?"

Ian went on with another observation. "If we got back to looking at
Clanton's papers. we'd see that body knowledge about our own and each
other's bodies actually is one of the basic and early things he
envisioned happening. Basic familiarity and comfort regarding our own,
and each other's, nude bodies is essential, he says."

I replied, "Why don't we take his papers back with us today and next
time we get together, we can talk about body awareness?"

And when we ended that coffee, we were committed to continue exploring
with a real purpose.

[DEEPER LIFE BEGINS]

There was no conscious reason why, but our next coffee got delayed by
about four or five days and when we did make it, without planning, we
were unusually slow in getting naked. You see, we both felt that this
time would be a time that we would go beyond just being nude in front of
each other to being naked with each other with the intent to share the
nakedness.

We had read more of Clanton's handout and began to understand the intent
of the nakedness and body understandings. His more advanced steps were
not 'alone' actions like the masturbation, but were 'team' actions that
required two or more guys to accomplish.

The next two health concerns were examination and early detection. The
culprits being checked on were Testicular and Penile cancers. Clanton
showed documented studies that showed that self-examination for these
risks reduced mortality by over 50%, each. But then he showed that
examination by a second party further that risk by another 50%!

The keys to that second party benefit were that the testing be done by
someone with understanding testicular structure and experience of at
least 5 examinations - both of themselves and others.

The same numbers applied to checking for penile cancer. It was stark
information to process. But this absolutely made sense for why Ian and I
needed to become acclimated to touching each other's genitals without
fear or nervousness.

So, there we stood, naked, somewhat nervous and even fearful, but aware
of the need for us to both become comfortable touching these delicate
parts of a pal's body while the pal touched our own with equal comfort
and confidence.

We stood facing each other, but a step or so separated. Ian sort of took
the lead. The Australian group had not arrived at this point when he
left and he had no idea how they approached this as a group, but I was
convinced that he was closer to figuring out success than I was, ...

Ian guided us to take a step forward and to our left so that we were
each off the the 45 degree right side of the other.

"Use your right hand to simply cup my genitals and I will do the same to
yours?" and we actually did. By total coincidence, the actual contact
took place as though perfectly synchronized. This was the first time
either of us had handled another man's penis or testicles and we simply
stood still for well over a minute without moving and absorbed the
feelings - those we felt as well as those we each were causing.

After we had each relaxed, we backed off and asked each other if we were
still ok, and each of us assured the other that we were fine.

I suggested "Maybe we should now do the same thing, but with a specific
body part?" and waited for Ira to concur.

Instead he suggested that we don't do it together, but one at a time, to
which I nodded agreement. With nothing else being said, I suddenly felt
Ira reach and gently grasp my penis. He took it in his hand as a whole
before he began to feel it in different hand positions and then in
different portions of my penis. This was actually feeling very nice and
I began to firm up. I became self-conscious of my arousal, but I
whispered "I'm sorry, it ..." and in silence, he continued. I thought of
the times he had seen me totally erect when we masturbated in front of
each other and slowly stopped worrying.

Ira eventually let go of my penis, but oddly, he did it in a movement
that was almost, sort of 'putting it back' where he found it. I thought
about that and it felt just a little bit ... respectful is the best word
to explain it.

Since Ira had taken the initiative silently, so did I and I reached to
feel his penis. I did the same type of actions to familiarize myself
with his penis as he had done with mine and I really tried to
concentrate on what I was feeling, specifically. His shaft, his head,
his urethra, his pee hole - the entirety of his penis down to where the
shaft disappeared into his abdomen. It was later that I came to
understand that a large portion of the penis is sort of internal and
would become part of the actual examinations when we learned to do them
correctly. But, mentally, I noticed that part of my sensations were
actually what my fingers felt and part of the sensations were my own
memory of what the same actions had felt like when Ira had examined my
penis.

I was sensitive to the fact that Ira also become pretty erect from the
process, particularly when I was feeling the head of his penis and his
frenulum. Just as I had showed a vulnerability, Ira more or less
whispered "... sorry, Marty..." and I let it drop as he had my own
awkward apology.

I conducted my exam and ultimately felt, at some point, that clearly I
was done. Because of the respect I felt from Ira's closing movements, I
did the same and I gently returned his still semi-erect penis to 'where
I found it' and let go gently.

Ira and I repeated the process for our testicles. Examining them both as
a pair and individually. Again, we both took the action of gently
returning the body part to where we found them and I am sure that this
had become something we would both expect as both givers and receivers
of exams. We both felt that we had the mechanics of what would be
required to provide Clanton's examinations. The only thing we had not
done was to examine and pull back the foreskin because both of us are
circumcised.

Both Ira and I were pretty worn down by the intensity of this
experience, but we went to our normal seats and sat and began our normal
coffee experience.

I offered that I found this whole event to be, at the same time, both
quite intense and quite relaxing. I was not surprised when Ira shared
the same, but added that he was unsure which was the stronger sensation!

Silence was overwhelming, in fact, we finished our first cups in virtual
silence before we both went for seconds. As we were at the machine, we
started talking again and we both agreed that we need to do this
repeatedly for a few times and talk very frankly about the experiences
each time to be able to see if this was what we really wanted to include
in our normal meetings.

It was strange, in a way, but that was the first meeting in a long time
that we failed to masturbate together. Neither of us said anything about
it, but for our next meeting, again with nothing being said, we
conducted our new examinations and went back to our normal masturbation
routine.

[ACTUAL EXAMS}

Ira and I continued with the informal mutual examinations and this
definitely served to make us comfortable with touching and being
touched. But a side benefit of this examination practice was that we
just became more comfortable with each other's sexuality. We had felt
each other become and remain erect as a result of our contact and we had
felt the same sensations as both giver and receiver during the sensations.

I was first to suggest "Ira, do you think we would, or even should, try
to become comfortable with helping each other masturbate? Is that so
much different or beyond where we have been so far?"

Ira responded, "To tell the truth, whether it is planned or not, I think
I'd like us to try that even if it is just as an additional pleasure,
how do you feel about it?"

"Well, we have watched each other masturbate and we have touched each
other intimately - putting the two together is not that much more
outlandish," I replied, continuing "and When we had those first
erections in each other's hands, I was very excited. It felt great."

[THE GROUP GROWS]

At our next coffee, Ira suggested that we make a move to grow the group
to about five or six men and see how it goes to group buy-in before we
actually proceed with actual touching exercises, after all, if nothing
else we can just have larger tea and coffee group.

We did just that. I won't go into how we reached out to other men, but
more than six did respond, however, gentle interviewing eliminated three
of them and we met with the other three. All of them were positive and
intrigued about the concept and reacted either eagerly or open-minded to
trying it out at a future meeting.

At our next meeting, all five of us attended and we introduced the new
guys to the culture we had established. To teach the exam exercises, we
liberally traded partners so that each new fellow got some experience
with both Ira and I.

In about 3 weeks, we were actually reading and literally practicing the
exams. Of course, we had already begun the prevention practice of daily
masturbation and this included masturbating within the group, in front
of the group as part of our implementing and normalizing the action so
many people view and consider with such shame. One of the new guys had
started a discussion about whether we might as a group also observe and
monitor volume of ejaculate - and if there were any health advantage to
be aware of sudden or, even, gradual changes to this. We never really
came to a firm conclusion, but decided to keep open minds and to keep
our eyes open to any research or news on the topic.

End of Part 1

  [Follow Part 2 Coming Soon]