Hi, I'm Lance is the third book in an overlapping trilogy.
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Meeting
14 August 26
"Hi, I'm Lance. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Lance," the group replied.
"Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 23. My parents could have
put me in school a year earlier, but they held me back so that I would be the
oldest kid in class instead of the littlest. I'm trying to let the day be one
to count my blessings.
"I love my new car. But as I look at the date on the
calendar, I realize that the greatest gift I got this year was my life back.
The spring was so full of disappointment and regret and depression. I had no
idea how far I had sunk down. Now, I'm getting past things I can't change and
embracing the things that are really working out: a new job, a new boyfriend I
really like and a great relationship with my family and friends."
I saw Jakob smile at me.
"All that would never have happened when I was drinking.
It's funny, I hated being the youngest one here when I started. I was ashamed.
I thought everyone would look at me. And look down on me. I thought they would figure
`How did that kid screw up his life so young? He should have everything going
for him.' So you'd think. But I did screw it up. I drank through college. It
wasn't a lot at first, but the more I tried to push things away, the more I
would drink each day. I shudder to think of those past months where I consumed
so much every week. And it never really pushed anything really away."
I caught my breath. My mind flashed to the winter and spring
in the college apartment. Even in my own apartment. The night of my wreck ...
I inhaled and exhaled.
"But today I feel good about myself. I can't say some of
that shame isn't still there, but I look at how happy I am compared to the week
I had the car wreck. So, I do feel good. All that really matters to me happened
because of AA. It helped me get my shit together. It's sad that it took a car
wreck to wake me up, but this birthday will truly be a happy one for me. I've
been given every gift I need.
"I stepped on the scale after exercising today. I finally
lost the last pound. I'm down 20. I think I deserve cake tomorrow.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
Amy went next. She tells the same story every meeting. I have
tended to tune her out. Jakob put his arm around me as I returned to my seat. I
should still listen to Amy. All of us are struggling. I knew the power of sharing.
Janine had kept her job. A customer had given a compliment
about her to the manager. She was over the moon.
A first timer named Tyler spoke. He was gay. I guess with
LGBTQ services down the hall, we get a fair share of gay people in our group. I
hated listening to his share. His boyfriend of two years had apparently started
hitting him. They were both alcoholics, but he came alone. I felt sad for him.
"Hi, my name is Jakob. With a K. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Jakob," the group replied.
"I got a text two hours ago. I have set up a time this week
to meet my sister. I haven't spoken with anyone in my family in ... years. So, I
was immediately thrilled and immediately terrified. I'm not sure what she'll
think of me. But I am so excited to see her. I have missed her. I accepted that
my family didn't want me in their lives. I did. But that didn't make the pain
of missing them go away."
I hadn't heard this news. We will have a lot to talk about
after the meeting.
"My job keeps getting better. I hear great things from my
boss all the time. He's nice to me and seems to like me. I know I don't make
much, but those words mean as much as money.
"I guess I'll let you know how my visit goes. Wish me luck.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
As I helped put away the chairs, I noticed Tyler darted out.
I had wanted to say something to him. Ophelia handed him a chip and he bolted.
Cooper wasn't at this meeting, but Jakob, Ophelia and I
enjoyed a simple beverage. All of us were in a good mood, so conversation was
light. I did mention that I'd like to reach out to Tyler if he comes back.
After we finished our visit, as we walked back to the
center, I asked Jakob if he was still free for dinner tomorrow night. He said
he traded to be off, making Thursday and Friday two days off in a row. I asked
if he would like to spend those nights with me. I hoped he felt comfortable in
my bed now. I had to be at work, but I wanted to make sure he would be okay at
the apartment without me. He agreed but would need to gather some things. My
gym bag was in the back seat. I dumped it out so that he could use it as an
overnight bag.
Five minutes later, we were driving from the shelter. I had
never gone in. He never asked me to. I thought one day I should poke my head
in.
"Gerard is one of the gentlemen that supervises the
shelter," Jakob told me as we drove. "He got a call from QT today."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah. Really okay. He helps people there find jobs. They
called to let him know that I was doing a great job and that they were pleased
he helped place me there."
"How awesome is that?" I said, excitedly.
"I know."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jakob smile. I
liked his smile. It wasn't a cheesy grin; it was simple yet authentic.
When we got there, Evan was in the kitchen. "Hi, guys."
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm making you a pie for your birthday."
"You are?? Why?"
"Because it's your birthday. I called your dad. He said you
liked pie better than cake, so I opted for a birthday pie."
I gave Evan a sloppy smooch on his cheek. He made a giggly
smile.
"Stop that," he chuckled.
"Is it key lime?" I asked.
"It is."
"OMG. You are the best cousin ever. That's my favorite."
"I know."
We got out of his way. I got Jakob and me a sparkling water,
and we went to my bedroom for a few minutes.
"Jakob, I have a lot of clothes here. My jeans won't fit you,
but maybe some of these shirts or a pair of shorts ... if you can use them."
Staring into my closet, Jakob looked at the clothes. Then he
looked at me.
"Lance, where would I put them?"
I went silent.
"Oh."
"I just have a box under my bed. Another one in my car
trunk. I mean, I have a week or so's worth of clothes in the shelter, but I
don't have much room once you add underwear, socks, a jacket..."
I suddenly felt privileged, rich, arrogant. I stood behind
Jakob and held him in my arms.
"Okay."
I kissed him on the neck.
Letting go of him, I sorted through some items at the bottom
of the closet. I pulled out a gym bag that had my high school basketball team
on it.
"How about I give you this, so you don't have to use grocery
bags?"
"Lance," Jakob said, taking my hand. "Sit down."
We sat next to each other on the bed. I felt like I had done
something wrong.
"I don't want you to give me things or buy me things. I feel
like I'm taking advantage of you."
"But I want to ..."
"I know you are trying to help. That's sweet, and I
appreciate you for it. But when I lived with those other people, it basically
amounted to me living off what they gave me, sometimes in exchange for sex. I
want to be able to depend upon myself. I don't ever want to picture you in that
role."
"I can understand that. I only wanted to help," I said in
almost a mumble that sounded guilty.
"I know. You're an angel. But if the two of us are going to
work, I have to know you accept me for who I am. It may take me some time to
get there, but I'm trying. It will mean more if I do it on my own."
"I understand. Please know that I want you to look at me as
someone who has your back."
Jakob leaned over and held me.
"Thank you. You've helped me more than you'll ever know."
"But seriously, I have three gym bags. It's silly. You could
use one. Look at it this way, it makes me feel good knowing something of mine
will be with you over there at the shelter. Don't you want to do something that
makes me feel good?"
"Shrewd," he said. "I will accept your offer. That actually
does make me feel good too. And if I was being honest, I wear your T-shirt in
bed almost every night. It makes me feel like you are around me."
"Aww," I said. "I could let you use a couple more. I like
the idea of being around you when you're not with me."
"Maybe. Do you have a shirt with your name on it?"
After sorting through a bottom drawer, I found an old debate
team shirt we all had made in high school. Everyone had their names put on the
back.
"It's old, but ..."
"I love it," Jakob said. "It's you."
We joined Evan in the living room. He told us he had started
seeing a girl. He'd only been out on one official date, but they had been
talking and texting for a week. We were happy for him.
I took Evan aside in the kitchen under the guise of looking
at the pie. I asked if he was comfortable with Jakob being in the apartment
while the two of us were at work. He agreed. That was kind of him. He only knew
Jakob through a few simple visits. His mutual trust was admirable. I felt he
had come to like Jakob.
We turned in after watching The Tonight Show's
monologue.
As we prepared for bed, Jakob climbed in first. As I came
out of the bathroom, I noticed his underwear placed aside the bed. I stripped
nude, turned out the light and slid into the sheets.
"I'm so happy you're here," I said.
We rolled on our sides to face each other.
"Me too," he said leaning in for a kiss.
We kissed for a few minutes. I felt his tongue reach in to
touch mine. I let my hand roam around his back and eventually glide down to his
waist. My hand gripped his butt. His did the same. He then moved it up to my
head to run his fingers through my hair as we kissed. I loved that. I realized
I loved it when Jakob touched me anywhere. I loved being with him. I had a
split-second thought of Trent. I no longer longed for him like I used to. I
still loved him, but Jakob had found a different place in my heart. My lips
pressed to his harder.
"Want to jack off?" he whispered into my mouth.
We weren't loud. Just enough breathing, moaning and light
grunting to where we could hear each other. Evan wouldn't have picked up on it.
At one point, Jakob switched hands so that he could reach down and hold my hand
when he thought I was close to coming. He timed it well. I came first. Letting
go of my hand, he reached to my chest into my streams of cum. He slathered it
on his erection and began to finished his efforts on his own anatomy. His legs
and hips writhed and bucked when he came. He grabbed my hand again. It was
sticky as it could be with both of our cum smeared on it. I found it romantic
beyond belief for some reason.
He let go to get a wet washcloth. He wiped our bodies and
hands clean. After doing so, he leaned over to kiss me. I reached and groped
his cock as he did so. He glanced at the clock as I felt his limp penis. It was
12:03.
"Happy birthday, angel," he whispered to me.
—
When I awoke, Jakob wasn't in the bed. He wasn't in the
bathroom either. I put on my briefs and walked out into the living room. Both
Jakob and Evan were in the kitchen. Evan was eating an omelet with salsa on it.
Jakob was at the stove wearing the T-shirt I gave and his briefs.
"Morning, Lance," he said. "Can I make you an omelet?"
"Uh, sure." I was surprised to see him cooking.
As the three of us ate, Jakob and Evan discussed a few
things for the birthday dinner tonight. Jakob even offered to pick up an
ingredient Evan needed. It was nice to see them getting along so well.
I showered alone. Jakob said he'd do it later. I gave him my
key so he could go to the store or anywhere else he needed to be.
At work, I was surprised at lunch. Our staff at the gym was
not large, but the small team pulled me into the office at lunchtime and sang
"Happy Birthday" to me. There was a small cake. I thought the gesture was
lovely.
Jason made a point to compliment me in front of the staff.
Apparently, he had received a few comments from members who were appreciative
of the customer service I had been giving them. I had started a routine to get
to know numerous members by name and greet them each visit. I found out more
about them and the fields in which they worked. They seemed to appreciate the
attention. I was surprised it made it to Jason.
After everyone had enjoyed a slice of cake, they returned to
work. Jason called me to his desk.
"I'm impressed, Lance. When you first started, I was
questioning my decision to offer you the job. You seemed to let yourself go and
your focus wasn't the best. But, after the accident, you've really made a turn
for the better. You are one of the finest employees I have at any of the three
locations."
"Thank you, Jason. That means a lot."
"And you look as hot as all get out again. You and I may
have to revisit some private time again."
"Well, as flattering as that is, I'd have to turn you down
for two reasons. As my boss, that's a big red flag — like Day One in my first management
course — so I couldn't do that, but the main reason is I'm seeing someone right
now. I'm happy with him."
"Well. My loss. Whoever it is is
lucky to have that stunning dick all to himself. I do think about it from time
to time."
"Um. Thank you?" I wasn't sure how to take it, but I wanted
to avoid inappropriate action with the boss at all costs. "It's just a dick," I
said casually.
"You're a good man, Lance. Thanks for doing an outstanding
job."
—
I drove into the parking lot about the same time Evan got
home. We walked to the apartment together. I told him about the cake and the
compliments at work. He had his key, so he unlocked the door. We entered, and
both of us froze. We stared at our apartment and looked at each other. What had
happened?
"Welcome home," Jakob said, coming from the kitchen.
It was like we were in a different apartment.
"What happened?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" Jakob asked.
"The apartment. It looks ... better."
"Oh. I got Evan what he needed, but then didn't have much to
do. I decided to simply clean and straighten to help out. Does anything look
wrong?"
"No," Evan said blankly.
"It looks great, baby. What did you do?"
"Nothing much. Just cleaned, straightened. I found cleaning
supplies under the kitchen sink. I knew the vacuum was in the hall closet. It
was nothing."
Jakob had shifted the furniture a few feet. The room had
better flow. He positioned the pillows on the loveseat a certain way. The
magazines were arranged like in a showroom. He had a vase of flowers on the
coffee table.
"Where did the flowers come from?" I asked.
"I wanted to have them for your birthday."
"We've never had flowers in here," Evan said. "We hardly
vacuum."
The few books on the bookshelf were even straightened. In
fact, the arrangement of them looked aesthetically pleasing. The random photos
we had framed were positioned artistically. He had taken a few bowls from the
top cabinet in the kitchen. They were filled with odds and ends — fruit, nuts
and some twigs. It somehow worked. He had purchased a candle, and I detected
the scent. He must have lit it several minutes ago. Everything looked "in its
place."
"I never thought of the apartment as dirty, but this looks
great, Jakob."
"Oh, good. I did a little in the bedroom too." He turned to
Evan. "Obviously I didn't go into your bedroom, Evan. That wouldn't have been
appropriate."
"Holy crap!" I said entering my bedroom. "This looks great.
Oh my gosh!! Look at the bathroom!"
Jakob looked like a sheepish third grader getting a
compliment from his teacher. I returned to him and hugged him tightly. I gave
him a loud, gyrating smooch.
"Thank you, baby! I'm so impressed."
He said it was my birthday, so I should sit and relax while
he and Evan started preparing dinner. Jakob already had the table looking
marvelously hospitable, even using the limited resources Evan and I had. Mike
and Trent would be arriving in a while.
As the guys worked hard, I went in and took a selfie of the
three of us. I hadn't taken many pictures in quite a while. I asked Evan to
take one of the two of us in the living room since it looked so nice.
Right on time, Mike and Trent knocked on the door. They had
the same look as they entered.
"What have you done with the place? I can't tell why, but it
looks really good," Mike said.
"Jakob's touch," I answered. "Evan and I came home, and
Jakob had cleaned, straightened and made simple changes in the arrangement. You
should have seen what he did to my bedroom."
"That lost cause?" Trent joked.
"I know! He has a flair for it."
Evan and Jakob were in the kitchen. I took Mike and Trent in
to meet him. After being introduced, Jakob informed them that his name was
spelled with a K.
"So, you're the one who got away?" Jakob said to Trent.
"Wha -?" Trent said in surprise.
"Jakob!" I said, shocked that he would make such a comment.
"I'm sorry," Jakob said. "I've heard a lot about you. Lance
speaks extremely highly of you."
That was a curious way to begin, but it sounded more polite
at the end. I'm not sure why he started that way. I've told him a lot about
Trent, but I wasn't sure what the tone in his voice implied. Was he jealous? I
wanted Trent and Mike to like him.
Evan and Jakob brought the food to the table. I brought out
glasses with tea.
"If you guys would like some wine, Evan has a bottle in his
room that we can open."
Trent looked thrown. "Um. That's nice of you, but we're just
fine with tea."
We all sat down.
"Mike, how is the school year starting?" I asked.
"Oh. Um." He went silent. "I think I have some good kids in
the mix. I've only had them a week."
Trent gave him an odd look.
"So, Jakob, how did you and Lance meet?" Mike said, trying
to change the subject.
"Us? We've actually met in AA. A few of us go out after some
meetings for coffee. Well, Lance leans toward milkshakes. But we got to know
each other that way. And I can't figure out for the life of me why, but he sees
something worthwhile in me."
We leaned in for a kiss.
"He's good for me," I said.
"How sweet," said Mike.
"I went with Lance to his first meeting," Trent said. "I
think I remember you there. Forgive me if this is too personal, Jakob, but I
seem to recall you were kicked out of your house at 17. Is that right?"
"Sadly, yes. It ... was not good. If I was gay, I was not
welcome."
"Like it's something you can just turn off," Trent said.
"I'm not doing well with my father right now, either. But your situation was
really harsh, and at such a young age. I'm sorry you had to deal with that."
The conversation momentarily paused. No one knew what to
say. I knew Jakob didn't want to elaborate on his past.
"Gentlemen, everything is delicious," Mike said, thank
heavens.
"Thanks," the three of us said in unison.
"Evan did most of the cooking," I said.
"It's your birthday. Of course."
"Like that means anything. He cooks all the time."
"Apparently he's cooks healthy, because you look great,
Lance," Mike said.
"I love you more every day, Michael Terry," I said with a
smile.
"I was trying to lose that 20 pounds, and I finally got that
last pound to drop off. But I do give credit to Evan. I'm eating out less, and
certainly junk food isn't around the house. Between no alcohol and the drop in
weight, I feel so much better. I've also been doing better at work. They threw
me a ... well, it was just cake ... but during the festivities today, Jason pulled
me aside and told me I was doing a super job. He even hit on me."
"Wait, what?" Jakob asked.
"Don't worry. He was half kidding, and I shot it down."
"Jason is indeed something," Mike said.
"Oh yeah, you remember," I said.
"But what a house!"
Once dinner was over, Evan pulled out the key lime pie.
Jakob brought everyone a slice. A birthday candle was placed in my slice.
"My favorite!" I said.
They sang. Mike and Trent harmonized beautifully. Jakob even
told them so. I wished I could sing; I sound horrible when I try.
"We've sang together a few times. It started when we drove
to see his parents last month. Oh! We have something for you in the car," Trent
said, hopping up.
Trent came back with a small box.
"What's this? I said no gifts!"
"Just open it. It's very simple," Trent said.
I ripped off the paper. Popping the tape on the box, I
opened up the tissue and pulled out a T-shirt. It had a rainbow flag and said
PRIDE.
"We thought you needed one. Now that you are out, it seemed
essential. Mike and I have matching ones, so when we go out, we can be adorable
together."
"Aw. Sweet guys. I love it. Now I really feel `out.' It's
perfect."
I opened the card. It was a card with fancy writing and a
poetic paragraph. The last line was that "life was better for having a friend
like you."
"We thought about funny or dirty, but went with this," Trent
said.
I smiled at both of them. "I'm lucky to have friends like
you, too."
I gave both of them a hug and then went back to finish my
pie.
Shortly thereafter we cleared the table. Evan, Jakob and Trent
rinsed plates and loaded the dishwasher. In the living room, I pulled Mike to
the side.
"Trent told me you placed my One-Day chip in a special place
in your bedroom. You are really a wonderful person, Mike. Thanks for your
support, and for letting me be a part of your and Trent's lives. You probably
thought it was a simple gesture, but it meant a lot to me. When I was drinking
you could have easily given up on me, and you didn't. I was an idiot and a
mess. I hope you know that I love you. I love you both."
"I do," Mike said. "We're very proud of you. You've dealt
with your drinking head on. You've finally come out. And look ... you've lost 20
pounds. You're a great guy, Lance. I'm glad Trent has made you one of my
friends. Congratulations on every step you've taken. I really am proud of you.
And impressed. We both are."
I gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. Mike gave me a simple kiss
on the lips.
Not much longer following, the two of them worked their way
to the door.
"It was nice meeting you, Jakob," Trent said.
After they shut the door behind them, Jakob turned to me. "I
don't think Trent likes me."
"Don't be self-conscious," I said. "The evening went fine. I'm
sure he did."
I went over to Evan and gave him a hug. "Thank you, both,
for everything tonight. It was all delicious."
I gave Evan a sloppy smooch on his cheek. He giggled like a
toddler being tickled.
"Will you please stop that!" he said through his laughter.
"Jakob, the place looked amazing. Thanks for all your work,"
I said.
"That reminds me," Evan said. "I'd like to bring Kristy over
and ... well, stay overnight next week. Hopefully, we can keep the place looking
this good for a few days?"
I nodded. We said "Good night" to Evan and went to our
bedrooms.
After preparing for bed, we were both in the bedroom getting
undressed at the same time. Both of us stripped naked with no hesitation. I was
pleased Jakob felt comfortable being himself with me now. That was a big step.
He slid into the sheets first. He placed his arm out for me to move into his
embrace. I did.
"Lance, if I asked you to meet my sister Saturday morning,
would you come along?"
"Really?"
"I'd like that. You're a part of my life now. I feel she
should know that."
"That's clearly a `Hello-I'm-still-gay' moment. Think that
will be okay?" I asked.
"For this to work, it has to be okay," he said. "I'm not
going to meet with them and pretend to be something I'm not. They threw me out
nine years ago. I'm sure not going to hide or lie now."
"If you want me there, I will be happy to be there with
you."
As I melted in his arms, my hand reached over and played
with his dick. He didn't flinch. My fingers danced around the short length
feeling it like it was a play toy. It was sweet that he didn't hide his penis
from me. After a minute of fondling it, I could feel it stiffen in my hand.
"Where are we meeting her?" I asked.
"I was thinking the food court at the mall. That seems simple,
doesn't it?"
"Sounds like a good plan," I said, now totally hard myself.
We turned our heads. We kissed. Jakob slid out from my side
and moved on top of me. We kissed deeply and passionately. Our erections poked
each other as our hips gently moved and thrust together. My hands reached down
and gripped his buttocks. I gently pushed his crotch into my body. He softly
moaned in his kiss. He rubbed his cock against my torso, tenderly pushing it up
my skin.
"I like how that feels," I whispered aloud.
For a few minutes, we kissed like mad. Jakob bucked his hips,
rubbing his hard-on up and down my upper body. He lightly groaned as the
stimulation made his cock fill with pleasure.
"You feel good on top of me," I softly said. My hands caressed
his back.
We continued for several minutes. Kissing. Rubbing. Panting.
We breathlessly whispered each other's names in our lust.
"You're so beautiful, Lance," he whispered to me. "I'm glad
we're together."
He continued rubbing his cock into my abdomen. My hands
clutched his ass and squeezed.
"Jakob, I'm so thankful you are here. With me. Tonight."
He continued to grind his erection into my body. His
breathing became heavy. I soon wondered how close he was to coming.
Suddenly he stopped and looked at me.
"What am I doing? You're the birthday boy."
I chuckled and wanted to object, but he changed his body
position. He moved between my outstretched legs and took my cock in his mouth
for the first time.
"Ohhh," I softly moaned.
This was a new step. A big step. I hadn't been sucked since
Trent and I had sex in my college apartment. It felt nice. Incredibly nice. His
grip on my shaft worked the bottom half, while his mouth surrounded the upper
inches. It was warm and wet and slippery and ... bliss.
"Jakoooooob," I whispered loudly.
Two fingers and a thumb formed a tighter ring at the base of
my shaft. He massaged and stimulated my cock rhythmically. It had the timing of
a washing machine but the sensations of car battery energizing the nerves
within my erection. His lips feasted on my dick — and it was all his — sucking
and moisturizing the skin. His tongue became involved and snaked around my
manhood. The teasing on the underside of my cock began to drive me wild.
My arm jolted to his head. Jakob's hair was cut fairly
short. It had a fuzzier feel than mine. I loved the softness as my fingers
combed through the top of his head as it bobbed up and down over my crotch. The
light stubble on his chin and the simplest of moustaches gave a slight tickle
when he went deeper on my rod. I whimpered in approval of every movement.
My mind was in all kinds of euphoria. It wasn't just the
blow job. That was admittedly wonderful, but it was Jakob ... it was us ... this
was as far as we'd gone. We were sharing flesh. We weren't just pleasuring our
own bodies; we were giving ourselves to the other. We were really having sex!
Suddenly, he took his grip from my cock and plunged down the
entire tower jutting from my groin. He took it all in his throat.
"Holy shit," I breathlessly gasped.
He quickly slurped the thick eight-plus inches throbbing in
his mouth. How was he doing that? Up and down in a rapid motion, Jakob orally
serviced my full length like I had never felt. Even Jason didn't go quite this
far. His stamina in providing an intense blowjob was ongoing. My legs began to
jerk and hips writhe as he pleasured me. His hand fondled my balls that made me
moan louder. I didn't feel like Evan could hear us, but he may have heard that.
My cock throbbed. My groin throbbed. My chest throbbed. My neck throbbed. My
eyelashes throbbed. My face was flush. I wanted to completely scream in ecstasy
but held it in. I moaned in ragged breaths.
"I'm close, baby," I said.
Jakob grabbed my cock again and jerked the stiff meat with
the pounding rhythm we both liked.
"Babe!" I called.
He removed his mouth but sensually kept his warm breath on
my crotch. He licked the underside of the rim around the head on my erection.
The first shot of cum burst from my dick. It hit my chin. That had never
happened before. My hips bucked and I shut another stream landing between my
pecs. With each spasm, I felt more of my liquid strike me on my hairless torso.
Jakob didn't let up. Again and again my cock pulsed releasing every possible
drop of semen my body had produced. I gave one last groan. My cock had fired
its last shots of my load, but he pulled still. The force was less, but his
strokes continued to rub my electrified skin.
"Fuck!" I whispered. "That was ama ..."
Before I could finish, he had run his tongue across my chin
into my cum and kissed me with sticky lips. I gripped his shoulders. He
maneuvered back to the position of rubbing his cock into my chest. Now it was
lubed with my own semen making his movements slick and even more sensual.
"Yeah. Do that," I said. "Keep doing that."
He arched his back so that he could kiss me again. We moaned
into each other's mouths. I didn't have to look to know his cock was coated in
my own cum, rubbing and sliding on my body. The thought of his dredged dick
enthralled me. He ran it through my bush and we both groaned together. His hips
were pushing into me with solid force, but the slippery friction made it
pleasurable for both of us.
"Jakob..." I whispered to him. "Jakob, yes."
His firm rod gliding on my abdomen, pushing it up and down
in a pleasurable rhythm was hot. It was fun. It was ... I didn't know what I was
feeling. My heart was about to burst. I was happy and elated and stimulated and
... HAPPY! I was overwhelmed that he and I were doing this ... and that it was him.
Was I falling ...?
Jakob leaned down and whispered just above me ear.
"I'm coming, angel."
Jakob's orgasm spilled onto me. It was warm. I loved it.
Stream after stream hit me as he lifted his body, holding me stiff-armed at my
shoulders. We looked into each other's eyes throughout his climax. Once he
stopped coming, we smiled at each other. We were breathless, gasping.
We looked at our lust swimming on my torso. He slowly moved
his dick through it all. I reached to cup his ass.
"Now, THAT was a gift," I said.
"Oh. I do have something for you."
He went into the bathroom, got a wet towel to clean us off.
In a slow tease, his finger stirred our cum together even more and then he slid
the cocktail up and down both sides of my dick. Then his tongue licked it off a
centimeter and a time. I gasped. Following my orgasm, his tongue was almost
ticklish on my penis. Then he wiped us both clean and tossed the washcloth to
the bathroom floor once we were more suited to be in the bedding.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a plain bag. It had
white tissue coming out the top.
"I didn't really have a way to wrap it."
"Jakob. You didn't have to get anything at all. I said, `No
gifts.'"
I peeled back the tissue and lifted a bottle out of the bag.
It was a bottle of lube. I looked at it. It was scented with coconut. I popped
it open to take a quick whiff.
"Nice. Sexy. Tropical," I said. "But ... why did you give me
this after we had sex?"
"Because when we use that, Evan can't be here. We're going
to tear this bedroom apart."
I laughed out loud.
I put it on the nightstand, turned out the light and pulled
Jakob close to me. With another slight chuckle to his comment, we wrapped our
arms around each other and kissed passionately.
Eventually exhausted, I held him from behind. The fact that
he bought lube implied we would one day be fucking. I could look forward to
that. I had wanted to fuck him for so long. But what if it didn't go well? I
felt bad with the other two guys I attempted it with. But for some reason, this
felt different. I didn't want to fuck him because it was hot. I wanted to fuck
him because I ... wait.
I had strong feelings for Jakob. But I wasn't sure if it was
love. Yet. That would have been fast. On the other hand, I couldn't wait to
spend every minute I could with him. Maybe I was getting there. We seemed to be
in a good place. I hope he thought we were. He seemed happy to be here. To be
with me. Maybe we were succeeding against all the warnings. Or were we setting
ourselves up for a bigger fall?
"So, can I ask how you feel?" I said to him.
"Hmm?"
"That was more than just jacking off. I thought that was
crazy awesome sex. So, after that, how do you feel? Talk to me."
"Happy. I feel happy. I don't feel the need to drink, that's
for sure. I used to. Once the guy had come in me, he wanted the bed to himself.
I was usually back to my small space on a futon. At least at the last house.
I'd grab a beer before sleeping. Sex used to be paired with drinking."
"But now?"
"Sex equals Lance. And it is so much better sober."
I squeezed him tighter. "Thanks for being my best gift," I
whispered.
"Thanks for being my angel."
—
I picked Jakob up Saturday morning at 10:30. He had shaved
and looked nice. His polo shirt was simple, but clean and nice, just a small
notice of a wrinkle.
"I'm scared shitless," he said, getting into my car.
"Hey, she wanted to meet you. This is good."
"When I was kicked out, she was 13. She's seen me once since
— drunk at a street fair. I probably looked like crap. I have no idea what my
baby sister even thinks of me right now."
"The fact that she reached out is a good sign. Let's have
faith."
We arrived a few minutes early so we chose a table that was
slightly out of the way of the others.
"What's your sister's name?" I asked.
"Teresa. Oh, Lance, I'm so nervous. My heart is pounding."
"It's going to be fine, and I'm right here."
Jakob's body stiffened as he saw her walk in. I could sense
him hold his breath. As she walked to the table, they stared at each other. He
stood. Within seconds they were holding each other. I didn't realize I wasn't
breathing until I felt myself take in a large, deep breath. They held each
other for a long time. I could hear Teresa sob even though her face was on the
other side of his. They broke their embrace and sat at the table.
"Teresa, this is Lance. He's my
boyfriend."
"Hi, Teresa. It is very nice to meet you."
"Hi Lance."
"He's the one that encouraged me to write Mom the letter."
"Oh, Jakob. I saw her read that over and over. She misses
you so."
"How's she doing?"
"Good. She works up at the church twice a week. She works as
a substitute teacher a few days a week when school is in session. But after you
left, she wasn't the same."
"None of us were," Jakob said.
"I'm so sorry this all happened." Teresa looked at her hands
and then reached for Jakob's. "I'm really sorry. I've missed you so much. I'm
glad you're okay."
"He's a survivor," I said.
"Thank heavens."
"Does Dad ever mention me?"
Teresa got silent. She lowered her head, so she wasn't
looking at him.
"We're not supposed to mention you. On a rare occasion when
someone says your name, Dad says, `We don't mention him in this house.'"
"Wow," I blurted out in disbelief.
"It's ... it is so sad," Teresa said. "Mom looks like she is
being stabbed any time he says that."
"Does she not stand up to your father?" I asked.
"Oh, no. Dad is head of the household. They don't fight or
anything, but he makes most of the decisions. I got my degree in May, and I'm
ready to move out, but I fear for Mom when I do."
"Did Dad see my letter?" Jakob asked.
"I'm not sure. I just saw Mom reading it one day. I was glad
to find your number."
"How is Keaton?" he asked.
They both looked at me. "Our brother."
"He's fine. He lives in Cedar Heights."
"Do you two ever talk about me?"
"No. I'm sorry, Jakob. He feels much like Dad. He says, `You
got what you deserved.' At least in front of Dad. But I know he misses you. He
has said that under his breath, even after talking bad about you."
I hated this. It killed me to hear it.
"I'm going to give you two a few minutes of private time.
Let me get us something to drink."
I found out what they would like and took my time to get the
beverages. I felt they needed a few minutes to themselves. I thought it was
going fairly well. Despite some of the things being hard to hear, they were
connecting. I watched as they would talk and nod and smile.
I almost teared up thinking about my dad. How did I get so
lucky? Even if Oliver has somehow affected me, I have parents that are awesome.
There should be some test, some manual, some ... law that requires parents
to love their kids unconditionally. I grabbed a napkin as lids were being
placed on our sodas. I wiped my eyes and then thanked the counter clerk for our
drinks.
I sat them down for a moment. I pulled out my phone. I
texted Dad, "Just wanted you to know that I love you and appreciate you."
A minute later, he replied. "I love you too. Is
everything okay?"
"I'm fine. I just wanted you to know that."
A few minutes later, I brought us the drinks to the table.
They both thanked me.
"I'm pleased you reached out, Teresa," I said. "I know Jakob
has missed being with family."
"Please know I never wanted you to leave, Jakob. I missed my
brother. I loved you. At the time, I didn't understand everything. Now ... as an
adult, I know you didn't choose to be ..."
"Gay," we both said.
"Right. I know it's not a choice. It wasn't fair for them to
force you out. Whatever they feel, I don't see how a parent could do that."
I wanted to scream "Totally!!" but held my tongue.
Teresa looked at me.
"I – I am glad you aren't alone. How did you two meet?"
"If you must know, we met through AA. We both developed
drinking problems. My life ... when I was kicked out ... didn't go well."
Teresa's posture melted. "They thought if you wanted to come
back, you'd give that life up."
"That life," Jakob scoffed. "I simply admitted I was gay.
That was it. I wasn't really even doing anything. I kissed my friend a few
times. That was it."
"I hate that," she said.
"I eventually had nowhere to go. I ended up staying with
people who weren't good for me. It was fairly abusive. They introduced me to
alcohol. Eventually, I was homeless."
"Oh, God," Teresa sobbed.
"Actually, I'm in a shelter right now, but ... the good news
is, I'm sober, I have a job which I like ... and I met Lance. He's like an angel
sent to me."
"He's done a lot for me, too," I said to her.
We held hands in front of her.
"For the first time in years, I feel like someone cares
about me," Jakob said.
I sure did. More each day. Again I questioned if I was
falling in love?
Before we left, I asked if I could take a picture of both of
them. Afterward Teresa asked me to take one on her phone. Jakob looked happy.
—
After I had dropped Jakob off, I returned home. His shift
started at noon, so I wasn't sure what to do for lunch. Within minutes, my
phone buzzed. It was Trent.
"Are you home?" he said, but he sounded off. I knew something
was wrong.
"Yeah. Are you okay?"
"Hell, no! You won't believe it. Dad tried to get Mike
fired!!"
"WHAT??!"
"Exactly! He's an ass."
I couldn't believe it. I let Trent share the details. I had
nothing to offer, but I just let him vent. I felt that was what he needed. He was
clearly distraught. This was bad. I hated seeing my best friend hurt.
Trent finished his drive at my place. He didn't want to go
home alone, but he was too self-conscious to return to Mike's place. Within
seconds of being in my apartment, he was in my arms.
Mike texted, checking to see if Trent was okay. Trent
replied, but he didn't call. He threw his phone on the couch.
He buried his face into my chest. I knew he was crying
again. It destroyed me to see him this way. I felt completely helpless, hoping
my arms around him were of some comfort.
"Why would my father do this to me, to Mike, to us. My God!
I hate him so much. I fucking hate him."
I held him tighter. He wrapped his arms around me and
squeezed.
"Trent. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to think of
the right words. But I do know that Mike and you love each other. No matter
what happens with your dad, you two will be okay. He is there for you. Just
take this one day at a time."
"Fuck. How can Mike even look at me. My family almost ruined
his career."
Eventually he slightly calmed down. He and I decided to grab
a light lunch. We went back to the old college bistro. I grabbed a wrap; he got
a burger but barely ate half of it. Trent was not in a good place. His
breathing was off, his emotions were off, his Trent-ness was off. I loved this
man, but he seemed so different in his inner rage.
I had earlier contemplated calling him this afternoon to see
what he had thought of Jakob. We hadn't spoken since the birthday dinner. I
thought I might tell him of our hot sex. This wasn't the time. His mind was on
more pressing matters.
I did wonder though. Did Trent like Jakob? What if he
didn't? I'd hate that, my best friend who I dearly loved didn't like the man I
was in ...
Jakob was just my boyfriend. We had barely taken sex
to its first steps. I needed to slow down. AA suggests those warnings of newcomers
dating for a reason. I needed to keep it slow.
Trent felt he should return to Mike. I agreed. They had
things to talk out. We stood and hugged.
"Call me if you need me. Love you, Trent."
"Thanks for being here for me. You always have my back. Love
you, Lance." He kissed me on the cheek.
"Always," I whispered.
Trent got in his car and drove away. I leaned against my
car. The day was warm but not hot. I looked forward to fall. As I watched Trent
turn the corner, I was glad I could be there for him. I knew I loved him. I
couldn't see that ever going away. Maybe it does in time. He and Mike are great
together. I have accepted that. I love Mike too, really. But it doesn't hurt
when Trent leaves like it used to. I don't ache. I know I owe that to Jakob. Is
that why my feelings are so strong now? Had I fallen for Jakob? Or was he a momentary
replacement? Shit. I can't hurt Jakob. I just can't. Surely what I felt was
real.
—
Dad called me that evening. I shared the day with him. He
was a good listener. I avoided asking about love.
* * * *
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