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As mentioned before, the AA meetings will skip from time to time. Meeting 25 is three after the last chapter.
Meeting
No. 25 October 7
"Hi, I'm Jakob."
Jakob waited.
"With a K. Hi Jakob."
He smiled at everyone, really enjoying his tagline.
"I'm an alcoholic. In fact, I'm a very thrilled alcoholic. I
will be moving out of the shelter tomorrow. I've made so many stupid decisions
in my life, but somehow — by a miracle or God's love — I've met the best people
in the world. Against advice, I have fallen in love. I have friends that have
not only welcomed me into their circle of friends, but some of them have helped
me be successful in being on my own."
Trent and Mike were with us tonight. It was an open meeting.
Wednesdays aren't always, but since this one was, I wanted them to be here for
my Three-Month chip. They had huge smiles directed at Jakob.
"I will never forget these people. They will always be with
me because I can never forget what they helped me recover from. I'm feeling blessed.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Ophelia. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Ophelia," the group replied.
"I have a job interview Monday. Thanks to Lance, I might
have a new job. I don't have it yet. But, if it works out, I think I might like
it a lot. We'll see. If not, I'm still doing okay.
"I can agree with Jakob. People here have big hearts. I am
appreciative of all of you. God bless you.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Lance, and I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Lance," the group replied.
"Although it was officially a few days ago, I'm now three
months sober. I wanted to receive my Three-Month chip when O was here. She was
the first person to speak to me at my first meeting. I'm so grateful for her
and her friendship."
Ophelia gave me a wink and a simple smile. It was our new
signal noting our special night together.
"I stare at friends here who are so important to me, who
have helped me so much. The man I love — and I love being able to say I love
him — makes me enormously happy. I picture myself three months ago and think
how low I had sunk. I was so ... checked out. I didn't care about anything.
Drinking. I wasn't worth a damn ... to anyone. I was wasting my life ... lying to myself,
being a poor friend ... a worthless son ..."
I saw Tyler in the audience. He didn't seem to be sharing
tonight.
"If the shares are about feelings of gratitude tonight,
count me in. If you are new to AA, please stick with it. It changed me for the
better. There is hope here. I didn't like myself much then, but now ... I'm okay
with who I am. I know I'm better.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
"Hi, I'm Cooper. I'm an alcoholic."
"Hi, Cooper," the group replied.
"I've become aware that October 11 is Coming Out Day. While
most of my family knows — it kind of flared up in the divorce — I'm introducing
Mitch to them this weekend. I'm making sure every relative knows, every old
friend knows ... I'm just not hiding it. I'm scared as all get out. But I think
worrying what they might think is much worse than them actually knowing. I
guess I'll find out. I just want all this off my chest. My family can be a hard
sell, but ... I'm enjoying being honest.
"My ex-wife seems better. She isn't warm and fuzzy be any
means, but when she looks at me now, it kind of reminds me of how she used to.
I'm no longer ..." Cooper paused. "I'm no longer `the imposter' or the `person
who suddenly changed.'" He said using air quotes. "I don't think she thinks I'm
mean. I feel like she knows the past months — years — have been hard for me,
too. She's quite religious. We both were. As much as the gay thing has thrown
her, I think maybe her focusing on patience and understanding and forgiveness —
those Christian traits have helped."
Cooper went blank for a moment. He stood silent. I was
momentarily concerned.
"She's a good person," he said, more to himself than to the
group.
"I'm also having Mitch stay over while I have my son this
weekend. It will be my chance to introduce the two of them to each other. So ...
"Did I mention I was scared? Wish me luck.
"Thank you."
The group clapped.
Several people helped put away chairs and the coffee. I was
able to get my chip while that was being done. I walked up to my friends
proudly showing it off. They beamed with smiles.
"Coffee or ice cream?" Ophelia asked.
Tyler walked up. "May I join?"
"Sure! Please," I said.
I introduced him to Mike and Trent.
Several of us went together: Cooper, the boys, O, Jakob,
Tyler and a newcomer named Sandy.
We laughed a lot over silly things. Conversation was pretty
light-hearted. Sandy was quiet but made an occasional comment. Tyler hardly
said anything. I needed to talk to him privately to make sure he was okay.
Mike was sitting across from Jakob. "I'm very excited for
you Jakob. I'm sure everything just seemed to happen in a whirlwind in the last
couple days."
"Totally. Lance got this idea in his head. He talked to
Gerard today. You guys are helping make it work. It's all so amazing."
We explained to the others that Jakob was moving into
Trent's apartment until his lease ran out. Trent was moving in with Mike. With
all our help, Jakob was moving out of the shelter. We explained the special
arrangements the shelter was willing to accept for Jakob to be on his own. We
all knew it was short-term.
"Gerard pulled a few strings, I think. They receive a certain
amount of funding to go toward public housing, but because we only needed a
reduced amount, he was able to get it," I said.
"It's only 10 weeks though until my lease is up. Then what?"
Trent asked.
"We can decide then. We're taking this for what it is right
now. We'll know better then," I said.
"I wish I had brought the key," Mike said. "I have Trent's
spare."
"I'll drop it off tomorrow," Trent said. "The place is yours
tomorrow night."
Tyler said nothing, but at least formed a smile hearing the
cheerful news.
"Jakob, Trent's apartment is several miles from your work.
How will you get there?" Mike asked.
"I have a car. I hardly drive it. If it broke down, I
wouldn't be able to fix it. Or I used to think that. But now ..."
"I've taken it in to the auto shop. Unless it's crazy
expensive, we're just going to give it a good tune-up and an inspection to see
what it really needs," I said.
"Lance is taking care of that, for now, but only because I
insisted that I pay him back some of it each month until its paid off."
"Jakob can be a stickler about not accepting charity."
"That was my old life. I want to be strong. I need to be
able to take care of myself," Jakob firmly said, trying to sound like someone
with authority.
"Sometimes taking care of yourself means letting friends
help," Mike said. "It takes a strong person to be able to say, `I need help.'
We're here to make sure you feel strong."
"Thank you," Jakob said, smiling. He looked at his
strawberry smoothie suddenly feeling just a bit too much the center of attention.
He poked his spoon into a mound of whipped cream and allowed it to be consumed
by his silent smile.
I thought on Mike's words. What a great way to put it.
Mike's incredible. It's no wonder Trent fell for him. He's so much more than I
am. Certainly more than what I used to be.
Ophelia made sure we included Sandy in some conversation.
She said something about a musical group that I didn't know a thing about, but
Tyler lit up when she mentioned it. That was good.
Tonight's visit at the coffee shop was long, but we
eventually wound it down.
"It was nice seeing you again, Trent. And nice meeting you,
Mike," Ophelia said.
Everyone wished O good luck on her interview.
—
Jakob's car needed more than I was hoping, but it wasn't
outrageous. Just a lot of maintenance: fluids, belts, oil change, some simple
parts. All in all, it was a little over $700, but I took care of it. He was now
mobile. He insisted paying me $75 a month until it was paid off. I knew that
was a bite into his earnings, but we'd make it work.
I had come with extra sheets in case Trent had taken his.
The apartment was certainly livable. Trent hadn't taken a whole lot to Mike's,
but the four of us planned for a whole day together on Saturday to tie up loose
odds and ends. Gerard would be stopping by with a check, assuming the approval
went through.
We carried the few items Jakob had into the apartment. Two
boxes of mostly simple clothes. We hung them in the closet. It looked meager. With
all his belongs hung inside, the closet still looked cavernous. On the far side
were a few shirts, a sweatshirt and another jacket. Taped to them was a note.
"Jakob,
Now that you have room for more, I'd like to help you out with a few things I
will not be wearing anymore. It's not much, but please consider these items
yours. I wish we were the same size for jeans and such, but I can't offer you
anything in that regard. Welcome to your new place.
Good luck,
Trent"
We went out to celebrate. Jakob allowed me to treat him to
dinner. He had never been to Señor Miguel's, so we pigged out. We both
promised to be better starting tomorrow, but the occasion justified the
calories.
On the way back, we stopped at a grocery store. Jakob could
pay for some food items. We didn't splurge to fill an entire pantry, but we
made sure there was enough food and the basic staples for him to get through
the next few days. Trent had left behind a few canned goods and a couple boxes
of cereal. Jakob said he wouldn't touch them in case he wanted to take them on
Saturday. I doubted he wanted them, but that was considerate of Jakob to think
that way. Once he had the last item put in the cabinet, he was lost in thought.
I had no idea what he was thinking. I imagined it was finally having a place to
put things he bought. Who could imagine that canned food items could be so
impactful. He took a finger and wiped his eye before he turned back around.
It was our first night in his place. We'd only slept in my
bedroom before. Now it was Jakob's turn to share his bed.
We stripped naked before getting ready. We each took a leak,
naked. We both ran a brush through our hair, naked. We brushed our teeth side
by side, naked.
"I like how your dick swings when you brush your teeth,"
Jakob said with a smile, wiping his mouth on a towel.
I took his small cock in my hand and pulled him toward the
bed. He hit the bathroom lights as he was being drawn captive.
"We should talk first," I said.
Ash
was a year younger than me. He was a junior. I had just started my senior year.
He was heavily involved in the theater department.
"Is
your name Lance?" he said.
I
was sitting outside the gym. Practice had finished. To my surprise, Ash sat
next to me.
"Uh,
yeah. Have we met?"
"No.
I'm Ash. It's nice to meet you, Lance."
"What's
up?" I said, a bit bewildered.
"We
have a common friend. Peyton Marshall."
"Oh
yeah, he was my roommate my freshman year."
"Yeah.
We are old friends from high school."
"I
see," I said, still a touch confused.
"He's
told me quite a bit about you," Ash said.
"Like
what?"
"Oh,
lots of things."
"I
don't follow."
Ash
looked to make sure no one was within earshot. "He told me one BIG THING about
you that I would probably like."
"Oh?"
"Among
other things," he said scooting a couple inches closer. "Peyton always seemed
to be one of those guys that liked to just have fun, to fool around. He thought
you might be in that category."
"Did
he?"
"So,
are you?" Ash asked.
"You're
very forward," I replied.
"Well,
my night happens to be free, and I'm not looking for anything more than just
some ... guy fun for a night."
"And
where might this `fun' happen, Mr. Ash?"
"I
happen to know my roommates will be out tonight. One is gone home for the
weekend; the other is out on a late-night date hoping to score in her
apartment. They let me know that I had the place to myself tonight."
"What
did you have in mind?" I continued.
"According
to Peyton, you do something that I like."
"Such
as."
"You
like to be swallowed," he whispered loudly.
"Jesus!
Why the hell would he tell anyone that!"
"Oh,
Lance. If what I've heard about your cock is true, it's no wonder people want
to tell tales."
Ash
was apparently persuasive enough because 15 minutes later, we were in his bed.
He had an uncut cock. We groped each other's bodies. Ash wasn't so much into
kissing me as he was kissing all my body parts. My ears, my neck, my nipples,
my armpits, my balls — he kissed everything.
Stroking
Ash's erection felt different because of his foreskin. Perhaps it was slightly
soft or spongy ... or maybe it was just his dick. It was a different thing for
me, so it made me particularly hard. Feeling another guy's cock always did
though.
He
let me suck it for a few minutes. A drop of liquid oozed on my tongue. I
continued to suck. He let me service him a few minutes.
"Oooo,
don't make me come yet," he said, lifting me from his dick by my cheek bones.
Ash
leaned over and began to go to town on my cock. His hand gripped and pulled my
nine inches, but it wasn't long before his mouth took the top half. He slurped
it loudly. Remembering I had heard Peyton through the walls my freshman year, I
tried to keep my moaning shallow. The apartments were better than the dorms,
but still ...
"This
is the biggest cock I've ever seen or felt in my life," he said, after taking a
breath. "I'm so glad Peyton told me about you."
"Oh,
thanks. It's just ... my dick," I said, trying to sound humble.
The
double stimulation of his stroking and sucking had the veins in my cock
throbbing quickly. It felt like my blood was pulsing under heavy pressure. I
hadn't had a blow job in several months. I speculated that my senior year was
the time to get as much as I could — men or women. I love how my dick felt
during sex. It was better than just jacking off.
I
let my fingers filter through Ash's blond hair as his head moved up and down my
shaft. It was very soft. He didn't use any styling product. It just felt
natural.
I
reached for his stiff rod again as he continued to suck me. I was cumbersome in
doing so, but I jerked his phallus while he devoured mine.
His
tongue started tantalizing my hard-on.
"Fuck
yeah," I called out.
He
hummed knowing that I liked that stimulation.
After
several minutes, I couldn't hold back.
"Ash,
I'm about to come," I let him know.
He
made no effort to remove his mouth from my cock. I moaned louder than I should
have with neighboring apartments, but the build-up to my orgasm was exquisite.
My eruption into his throat was volcanic. Thick manly hot lava. Ash swallowed
my entire load, almost making a perceptible effort to not let a single drop
escape.
"Wow,"
I said. "Your turn. Want to shoot in my ass?"
"I
don't have a condom," he said.
"I
don't mind. I'd love to feel you inside me, even after I've already come."
"Oh,
darling, we should talk."
"I've been thinking we should discuss this. When I fucked you
the other night, it was glorious. It was heaven — well, until I found out Evan
was listening."
Jakob chuckled.
"But we didn't use a condom. I've never actually had a test
done. Have you?"
"No. Money has been very slim the past few years. With the
amount of men I had to go through, I know I should."
I reached for his hand.
"You and I are making this work. Long term. Monogamous,
right?"
"Right."
"Well, except you pawn me off on Ophelia."
"It doesn't bother me that you fucked her. It was my
suggestion."
"Well, I did wear a condom then. Jakob, I'd like us to be
tested together. You and me at the same time. Let's find out we're good. Then
we can be great."
"Okay."
"Do you have condoms here?"
"I just came from a shelter. Why would I have condoms?!"
"Duh! Well, I bought a strip before heading to O's place, so
... are you okay with that? Or should we do something else."
"I can't think of a better way to christen my new
apartment," he said, moving in to kiss me.
I got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I just happened to bring my birthday lube in my bag."
He was laying on his back. I reached down with slick
fingers. I lubed his hole well. After fingering Ophelia two weeks ago, I wanted
to pleasure him longer with my fingers. Jakob seemed to like it.
After several minutes, he pleaded, "Don't tease me. I need
you inside me."
I ripped open the condom wrapper.
"Let me," he said.
While he sheathed my elongated pole, I filled my palm with
tropical lubricant. I coated it around my soldier armored for battle.
Jakob pulled his legs back for me. I aligned my lance at his
puckered entrance. Our eyes locked. His gentle smile invited me to enter him. Having
fingered him for several minutes, his body easily accepted my thick erection.
He called out. As my second thrust pushed all of my manhood inside him, I
groaned in pleasure too.
I held his shoulders as my movements were steady. My upper
weight was contained in my hands, pressing him to the ped. The grinding of my
hips matched the grinding of my voice. Jakob moaned in pleasure too. Each
thrust caused him to groan deliciously.
He rested his legs on my shoulders. I moved down onto my
elbows. I reached over and felt the hair
on his chest, holding my frame above him. I balled my hands into fists, pulling
his chest hair between my fingers.
"Oh, yeah. Lance, fuck me harder."
My thrusting moved to a higher gear.
"God, I feel so good in you."
Trent's bed had a headboard with poles across the front.
Jakob grabbed them and let his body writhe in an exotic dance as I fucked his
body. We moaned and squirmed and thrust and screamed and fucked.
"Turn over for me, baby. I want to hold you."
I pulled my cock from his channel, and he rolled in the bed.
I moved in from behind and positioned my dick to travel inward inside him
again.
"Oh yeah!" we both said with my full thrust.
"I love how your cock fills me, angel," he said lovingly. "You
have no idea how this feels."
I placed my body on top of his. My elbows took most of my
weight, but my chest was still pressed to his. I rammed him hard from behind.
My hands slipped under his arms and our flesh melted together. My thrusting
hips were the only things pulled apart between our bodies. My legs tangled with
his. My mouth engulfed his ear, his neck, his cheek. He turned his face. We
awkwardly kissed as my cock continued to fuck him forcefully. I kept pushing my
stiff flesh into his body.
We both moaned as we tirelessly made love. He got really
loud as I approached my orgasm. He was screaming, and then I felt the first
shot of my cum unleash.
"I'm coming inside you, Jakob. Oh, baby. Oh yeah. Fuck, I'm
coming so deep."
I squeezed our bodies tightly as my cock spasmed my cum into
his inner depths. My mouth wailed into his neck as my erection went through
ultimate pleasure. With one last shove of my crotch, my breathing shuddered. My
body shuddered. I slowly exhaled into his neck.
"Your turn," I whispered to him.
"No. I came right before you did."
"Really? Holy fuck."
"It was amazing, Lance. You're amazing."
"Only because of you," I said giving him a big smooch on the
cheek.
We rolled over. The sheets were stained with Jakob's cum and
splashes of lube in several places.
"Well, I'm glad we brought extra sheets," I said.
"Maybe tomorrow. I want to sleep on the splashes of our
love. Any awkward stickiness will only remind me of our true christening of
this bed and apartment."
"You're a nut. A messy, sticky, romantic nut," I said. "And
I love you so much."
—
We didn't shower together the next morning. I had the
earlier shift. I gave Jakob a kiss goodbye and said I'd be back the next
morning around 10. The guys planned on the same.
As I got into the car, I glanced at the apartment complex
through the windshield. I couldn't believe it was true; we got Jakob out of the
shelter. God, I was happy.
Later in the day, I received a text at work.
"Mike and I are wearing our Pride shirts tomorrow. We
want you to wear yours. We'll all match. If time allows, maybe we can go into
the gayborhood together."
"OK. We'll be nauseously adorable together."
Five minutes later, my phone buzzed again. What did Trent
want now?
It was Randall.
Holy shit!
"Sorry I didn't respond a few weeks ago. I wouldn't mind
reconnecting. Give me a call if you want."
Wow. We hadn't talked since high school. I had reached out
to him in August via text.
"Is tonight okay?'
"Can you call before 7?"
"That'll work."
Wow. What would I say? Would we just catch up? Would we even
talk about those sexual experiences on the debate trip?
Instead of cooking, Evan and I decided to pick up from Great
Wall. He was meeting Kristy for a movie later and staying at her place. After
wrapping up a little bit for leftovers, he headed out.
I picked up my phone to call Randall. It was 6:40. I dialed
him, slightly nervous.
"Is this Lance?"
"It sure is!! Hey!! How are you?"
`I'm good, I'm good. And you?"
"Me too. I'm really happy right now. Graduated from W.
Travis and started work immediately." I hesitated a moment, and then offered
more. "Not to start the conversation on a downer, but I've adopted a lifestyle
of complete honesty, so ... I'm in a great place now, but I'm ashamed to say that
almost four months ago I had a car wreck because I was driving intoxicated."
"Oh my gosh. I'm glad you are okay."
"It certainly could have been worse."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Lance."
"But! Since then I've been completely sober, I'm excelling
at my job, I've fallen in love and lost 20 pounds. Life is wonderful."
"Well, that sounds like a great turnaround. Good for you."
"How about you?"
"I've been married for almost a year. We live in Atlanta
now."
"Wow. That's a move."
"Yeah. A good job opportunity. Having gone to Mississippi
College, it wasn't that far away."
"So, what do you do?"
Randall hesitated. "I'm a youth minister at a good-sized
congregation in one of the city's suburbs."
"Oh, one of my college roommates was studying to be a youth
minister."
"W. Travis isn't a Christian university, is it?"
"No, but he still was able to get the degree. I think
post-graduation he may be taking online courses for his masters. I guess
whatever the university couldn't offer religion-wise, he can get that way. I
really didn't inquire that much, I guess."
"So. Fallen in love, huh?"
"Yeah. Head over heels at the moment."
"So ... who's the lucky ... person."
"His name is Jakob."
Randall was quiet. "I see."
"I came out this summer, Randall. I hope that is okay with
you."
"Yeah. Sure. Of course. No problem."
"Tell me about your wife," I said.
"She's pretty. I'll text you a picture of us when we get off
the phone. We met our junior year. I proposed after being apart in the summer
when we came back senior year. We got married the week of Thanksgiving last
year."
"Congratulations!"
"Thanks. Yeah," he said unenthusiastically.
"I'll send you a picture of us two as well."
Randall got exceptionally quiet. The silence was awkward.
"How's Atlanta?"
"Lance, why did you reach out to me?"
"Oh, just had some reflections on high school. Hadn't really
tried to communicate with anyone, so ... I just took a shot your number might be
the same."
"Yeah. Same one. Never changed it."
Silence.
"Lance, do you ever think about the debate trip?"
There it was. I wasn't going to bring it up, but Randall did
it anyway. What was the right thing to say here? I felt awkward, particularly
to a someone who is now a youth minister.
"On occasion."
"You don't think ... you don't think what we did that weekend
... turned you gay do you?"
"No, Randall. It doesn't work that way. You don't really
`turn gay.' You are or you aren't. And I identify with being gay, but I could
technically be classified bisexual. Classified. Geez, that sounds so
scientific."
"Right." He was silent again. "Lance, I think about you ... I
mean us ... I mean that weekend ... a lot."
"Okay."
"Being in bed with you, that night ... it was thrilling. But
when your parents send you to a Christian college, I mean ... no sex, no drinking
... all against campus rules."
"Randall, are you okay?"
"I'm not sure, Lance. I mean, I love the kids I work with. I
do. I love my work. I love my wife."
"Is there a `but'?" I tried to ask as tenderly as possible.
"I tried to put all my feelings aside, get past them. When I
met Sharon, she was nice. She was pretty. I knew that was what I should work
toward. A healthy, regular relationship." His voice cracked.
I could tell he was scared. His voice trembled.
"I thought I was doing a pretty good job, you know ... leading
a normal life."
"Normal?"
"Well, what my parents feel is normal. It is all going just
fine."
"Is it fine for you, Randall?"
"It comes and goes. I think I can make it. Then you texted."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ..."
"No. You didn't do anything wrong. I read your text. I have
thought about you every day since. I feel like I'm living two lives, Lance. One
of them feels like a lie, even though it should be perfectly happy."
"I – I'm sorry, Randall. If I caused any pain, please
forgive me. I don't know what to say. I'm not a counselor, but I think you
might ought to talk to one."
"Maybe. I don't know. I keep thinking these feelings will go
away. But ... I want to feel the way we did that night. It was the greatest night
of my life."
"Oh, wow."
"I mean, you are in a relationship with a man. What does it
feel like?"
I wasn't sure how to answer that question. Randall seemed to
be in a fragile place. If I had brought it on, I felt bad, but it sounded like
things were brewing for a long time.
"I love him. I was in denial all through school. We met
three months ago, and we bring out the best in each other. When I admitted I
liked men ... that I was gay ... I felt like I could breathe. I now have the
capacity to love deeply. And ... the sex is great."
"I just don't ... oh, my wife is pulling in the driveway. I'm
sorry to lay this on you, Lance. I'm glad we talked. It was nice to hear your voice.
I'm happy for you. Bye."
After he hung up, I was in a trance, almost shock. Wow. I
still texted him the photo.
—
Trent and Mike pulled in just as I was getting out my car. I
waited for them. All of us were in our Pride shirts which made us smile.
"Is it weird going to your apartment when it is no longer
your apartment?" I asked.
"A little. But remember I stayed with you a month, too."
"I know. That seems like years ago. I was in such a crummy
place then. I was a different person," I said.
"We love the person you are now," Mike said, kissing me on
the cheek.
"Have you ever been dancing with Jakob? We were thinking
maybe the four of us should go tonight. However, if the bar atmosphere is not a
comfortable place for you two, we can ditch that idea," Trent said.
"We've never been dancing together. We've hardly done
anything together. Occasionally a meal out and now fantastic sex. Food and sex.
That's it."
"Two of my favorite things," Mike said with a smile.
"Let's ask him," I said walking up to the door.
We knocked. Seconds later, Jakob answered the door in his
Pride shirt.
"How did you get one?" I asked.
"Trent gave me one."
"He ... when? What?"
"Oh my gosh!" Trent screamed.
I was startled. I turned toward him.
"Jakob! How did you do this?"
We all looked at the apartment. It looked amazing. Granted,
there wasn't enough furniture to make it look full, but it was impressive.
"How is it I took a few things out, and yet it looks like
there's a lot more?" Trent asked.
"I drove to a thrift store down the street. I don't have a
lot of money, but it's surprising what you can do with discounted things. You
pair simple things together and it works," Jakob said.
Jakob had rearranged the entire living room. While one side
looked slightly empty, the furniture he rearranged looked great. A simple rug,
some cubes and some vases and accessories gave the whole room a new look. A
couple of director's chairs gave all of us a space to sit.
"No way!" Trent screamed looking at the bedroom. "Jakob, you
have a gift. It looks great."
"Pillows, some reeds, some glass plates. Really, this stuff
was pretty cheap. I figured if I was only going to be here for ten weeks, I
should do this right away so that I could enjoy it. When I was young, it was
weird, but I liked looking at decorating magazines. So for ten weeks, I wanted
it to look nice."
Ten weeks. Then what? I hated thinking about it. But he
wasn't in the shelter, so that's all that's important. Maybe Evan and I could
discuss it. If we are as good as we are right now in ten weeks, I want us to
live together. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself.
Gerard stopped by shortly thereafter. He had a supplement
check the shelter could offer. It was made out to Jakob, but Gerard was charged
with making sure it got paid for the apartment. In this case, it was Trent.
Gerard said he had to accompany Jakob to a bank to deposit it, and then
physically see him write Trent a check for rent. It seemed so regimented, but
the shelter had made special exceptions for this arrangement. The two of them returned
within 15 minutes. Jakob then wrote a check for his portion of the rent plus
the shelter's supplement. I also had a check for Trent for what I agreed to
add.
Gerard was satisfied and said his pleasantries before saying
goodbye. He was a friendly man and was so complimentary of what Jakob had
accomplished.
While they were gone, I added some things to the apartment.
I had pictures of Jakob and me printed and placed in frames. I also created one
for a photo of him and his sister. I thought it turned out well. I placed it on
a shelf within a dividing wall between the kitchen and living room. I placed
one of us next to it. The two of us looked good in that one, nice smiles. Another
I printed was the selfie I snapped when we were in bed. That shirtless picture
of us was set on the nightstand in the bedroom.
He noticed the ones in the living room when he returned and
told me he loved them. He picked up the photo of him and Teresa. I mentioned
the other one in the bedroom.
Jakob disappeared into the bedroom. He winked at me when he
came back. In his hand was an envelope and he slid the checks inside. I think
he had a card inside the envelope. He hadn't told me. When he handed it to
Trent, his eyes welled with tears.
"Thank you." A tear went down Jakob's cheek. "You'll never
know how much I appreciate you. All of you."
Trent gave him a big hug. They held each other for some
time.
—
Following pizza at Parma Sean's that evening, we brought up
the idea of going dancing. Jakob looked unsure.
"I haven't been dancing in years. I'm sure I'd look
foolish."
"Dance with me. I'll make you look good," I joked. "I
thought the same thing when they dragged me onto the dance floor."
—
Trent had not been back to Club Indigo since his incident
with Detrell. We opted for Cosmic Thing. We liked the retro vibe of that club.
They had nonalcoholic beer available, but the two of us
didn't want to try that. We opted for a cranberry soda and an orange juice.
Mike and Trent had one beer and then switched to alternatives later on. Neither
of us seemed tempted to drink. I know Mike and Trent were concerned earlier.
This could have been an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Once it started getting busier, people eventually made it to
the dance floor. Jakob was hesitant but encouraged the rest of us to get out
there. Trent and Mike went first to a song Trent loved.
A song came on I liked. I asked Jakob if he would dance with
me. He still seemed shy. He encouraged Trent to dance with me instead. We did.
As we were on the dance floor, I saw Mike and Jakob carrying on a conversation
above the music. All four of us seemed to be having a good time.
As Trent and I headed back to join them, a new song played.
Mike's reaction meant it was a favorite of his. He immediately grasped Jakob by
the hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. Jakob was helpless to resist. He
looked scared out of his mind, but when he saw me resting my chin on my fists,
elbows on the table, just watching him, he smiled back and tried to relax. By
the end of the song, he was enjoying himself.
The next song was a slow song. From what I know of gay bars,
which isn't much, they don't play many slow songs. I could see the two of them
out there talking and then Mike put his arms around Jakob. Jakob shot me a look
of "I'm sorry" and then put his arms around Mike. The two were adorable. I
loved both of them, all of these people. I can't believe how far I had sunk
earlier this year. What a 180-degree difference in my outlook on life.
"Did you look in the envelope?" I asked Trent.
"Yes."
"Was something in there?"
"It was a simple card, probably something you'd find at a
thrift store."
"Did he write something in it?"
"He did," Trent said. And then remained quiet.
"Are you going to tell me, you asshole?" I smiled.
Trent bumped me in the shoulder and then kissed me on the
cheek.
"It was a thank you card. He wrote `Thank you for giving
me hope.' That was all."
"I can't thank you enough, Trent."
"I am so unbelievably over the moon for you two, Lance. I'm
so, so happy for you. Don't fuck it up, okay?"
"Yes, sir," I said, staring at the man I loved on the dance
floor.
* * * *
Background and insight to this chapter can be found at timothylane414stories.blogspot.com
Email: timothylane414@gmail.com