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Meeting No. 7 July 29

"Hi, I'm Jakob. With a K. And I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Jakob," the group replied.

"Tomorrow is my mother's birthday. I haven't seen her ... or talked to her ... in nine years. I know all the birthdays of my parents and brother and sister. I used to circle them on my calendar. When I had a calendar. To be honest, birthdays are harder than Christmas. They are all about one person. We made such a fuss over them when I was young. Before they kicked me out. I just wish I could tell her Happy Birthday. I'm sure she still doesn't want to see me." Jakob's gaze drifted off into the inner space. "I wish I knew if she thought about me.

"It's kind of a tough time. At least I'm not thinking about a drink.

"That's it. Thank you."

The group clapped as he awkwardly went back to his seat.

Ophelia was the last one to go up.

"Hi, I'm Ophelia. I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi, Ophelia," the group replied.

"I got to spend time with my daughter last weekend. We went shopping. I bought some school clothes for her. She liked them. She said they made her look pretty. Like me." Ophelia sniffed back a tear. "That meant a lot. To be honest, how I dress, my makeup ... that's the thing I am most in control of. I want to look good for her. I want her to think well of me. That's probably not the right reason to take care of yourself, but hey, it keeps me going, fortunately. She sure does."

A couple people in the audience nodded. I assumed they were parents too.

"I can tell my ex doesn't fear those weekends anymore. I guess if I look respectable, he feels he can trust me more. I suppose when I got that one-year chip in the spring ... that ... that showed him I wasn't the total wreck I once was. It really feels good that he can trust me. It means a lot. Sadly, I know just how fragile that is. One mistake and I could start over."

Ophelia too a big swallow.

"But I'm glad I had a great weekend with my daughter. Thank you."

The group clapped.

I helped put chairs away. I noticed Jakob did too. Maybe he was hoping to talk again afterward. I got my form signed. Seventh signature.

"Lance, up for coffee?" Ophelia asked.

"Uh. Sure, I'd like that."

I noticed Jakob sheepishly stepping away.

I quietly spoke to Ophelia, "Is it okay if Jakob joined us? I think he could use some company."

"Well, for sure."

"Jakob, would you like to join the two of us?" I said across the room.

"If I'm not in the way, I'd like that," he softly answered.

"My treat," I said.

Jakob and Ophelia both had a decaf. Hers was hot, his over ice. I opted for a mango smoothie this time.

"Tell me about your daughter, Ophelia," I said.

"She's wonderful. She is the light of my life. She saw me at my worst but forgave me. There was a time when I think my ex cautioned her not to trust me. I can't say I blame him. I was out of control for a few months. I slapped her a couple of times. It was NOT pretty." Ophelia sighed. "It was the worst moment of my life. I don't know how she has found it inside her to forgive me, but thankfully we are in a good place now."

"You look amazing, by the way," I said.

"Thanks. And stop buttering me up. I'm going to think you're going to ask for something."

"More than a decaf?"

The three of us laughed.

"Jakob, I was moved by your share tonight," Ophelia said. "Have you not seen any family in nine years?"

"I guess that's how you define `seen,'" he said.

Ophelia and I looked confused.

"My sister saw me about four years ago. I was at a street fair. It was 4 in the afternoon, and I was plastered. I was with a group of friends — I guess you could call them that — and we ran into each other. The look on her face was ... she was horrified. I'm sure I looked terrible and was clearly a mess. I know she probably told the whole family. She had to have."

"And ... you have never spoken to anyone? At any time?" Ophelia asked.

"No. My parents made it clear I was out of their lives. I'm sure they feel they have only two children, not three."

"That's totally shitty," I said. "No one should have to go through that. I'm very sorry."

"I'm a survivor."

For sure. My problems seemed so minor compared to his. I was blessed with wonderful parents; I guess not everyone is. There were times when how fortunate I was in certain things really sunk in. Even Trent had parental problems.

We tried to lighten the conversation a bit and talked about simple things: swimming, ice cream, Cooper's good looks, coffee creamer ...

Ophelia eventually said she had to go. I told her I would see her next week. She mentioned she would be chairperson that night.

I looked at Jakob stare out the window. I wondered what he thought each night, going back to the shelter.

"Jakob, is your family here in Jackson Bend?" I asked.

"As far as I know. I've driven by the house a couple of times. Judging by what is in the backyard, I'm sure they are still there."

"Why don't you stop by tomorrow and wish your mother a Happy Birthday in person?"

"That would be too hard. I'm sure she would be disgusted to see me. I ... I couldn't take that."

"What if we stopped by and dropped off a card."

"We?"

"I mean ... you. I'd drive you by. I see you walking, so I assume you don't have a car."

"Actually, I do. It's 12 years old. It runs. Usually. It has some issues. I try to walk as much as I can because if it breaks down somewhere, I don't have the money to fix it, so ... I walk a lot."

I didn't feel like it was my place to butt in. I had no right to make suggestions. I should have just keep my mouth shut. I remained quiet. ... Screw that.

"Jakob, why don't you just buy a card, place a letter inside and leave it at the door?"

"I don't have any cards — or paper actually. And the house is 15 minutes across town."

"What if I helped you buy one, we stop by my place and we can print a letter off on my computer, and then I'll drive you over. You can slip it in the door."

"Why would you do all that?" he asked me.

"Maybe because you could use a friend who would offer support? It's really nothing. I can even spring for the card," I said staring into his eyes.

"I can pay you back," he said firmly with immediacy. "I get my first check Friday. I can pay for the coffee too."

I smiled. "That's not necessary. I'm happy to do it."

Jakob got quiet. I wasn't sure if I had stirred up some bad feelings or not.

"Are we friends?" he asked.

"We can be. To be honest, I'm relating to the people at the meetings easier than I thought I would. I've kind of surprised myself. Granted, my problems don't seem to compare to what others have faced. I mean, look at you. No one should have to deal with that crap."

"Thanks. I ... I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. But if you're serious, I ... think I'd like to give Mom a card." He looked down at the floor. I thought his eyed darted back and forth. I could tell he was thinking.

A few shops down was a drug store. The selection wasn't spectacular, but good enough for Jakob to find one he liked. I rode my bike the few miles back to my place. Evan was home. I begged to borrow his car and promised I would be safe. He let me, and I circled back to pick up Jakob. I introduced him to Evan when we walked in. Jakob threw in "with a K," of course. Evan was probably puzzled as to what was going on, but I planned on explaining further later on.

We sat at my computer.

"What should I write?" he asked.

"Well, what do you want her to know?"

"I want her to know that I hope she's happy and that I think about her."

"Let's start with that then."

He typed a short paragraph.

"Do you want her to know that you are working?"

"I guess. That might be nice for my family to know."

He typed a bit more. As he typed, I stood behind him. I leaned over his shoulder to read the screen.

"Why not let her know that you are doing well. Since your sister saw you drunk, you could possibly tell them that you no longer drink. That between work and good choices that you are feeling good."

"That sounds kind of preachy," he said.

He typed it in his own words. My hands were on his shoulders as he continued to relay his message. I noticed his clothes had a certain smell. Not bad. I couldn't identify it. Almost ... dusty. I'm sure they were from just being piled in a box ... or a bag. I really had no idea. I looked back at the screen.

"Do you have a phone?" I asked.

"It's an old flip phone. It doesn't take pictures or anything. It's kind of cheap. I don't have a contract or anything."

"Why don't you put your phone number down just in case anyone wants to call."

"They won't."

"I think you should do it anyway," I suggested.

He typed. I offered to proofread it for spelling and punctuation, although I said Trent was better at that. It looked fine after I made two corrections. I printed it off. He signed the letter, folded it up and placed it inside the card.

I wasn't supposed to drive, but I made sure I didn't do anything wrong to get me pulled over. We drove across town. The house was an average, middle-income home. The yard seemed well maintained, and there were some flowers in front of the porch. It was dark, so it wasn't easy to make out everything. It was 10:30. All the lights were out.

Jakob opened the screen door and tucked the card in the decorative metal. He made sure not to let the door slam as to waken anyone. He stepped off the wooden slats of the front porch and walked the stone pathway back to the driveway. Before getting back into the car, he stopped. I could tell he was taking in the view of everything he remembered — the front yard, his bedroom window, the neighbors' houses.

"All right then. Good job. Let's get you back, and we can turn in for the night."

"This was really nice of you, Lance. I'm not sure why you went to all this trouble, but ... thank you."

"It was my pleasure," I said.

The drive back went quickly. It was hard to tell, but the shelter looked dark. It was late. I really had no idea how it all worked, but he seemed fine to go in at the late hour. I got out of the car to say good night.

"Thank you again, Lance." Jakob stared at the ground. Looking up, he asked, "Would you accept a hug?"

"Funny. Ophelia said the same thing two weeks ago. Yes. That's totally fine."

Jakob's hug was gentle. He held me long enough that I could slightly smell him again. My nose was close to his face and hair. He didn't stink or anything. You could just tell he wasn't someone who had access to fancy gels and soaps. He may not have showered today, but there was a slight wisp of Ivory soap to his aura. I felt him squeeze me a bit harder. I figured he probably didn't get many hugs nowadays.

"Thank you again," he said.

Jakob grabbed both sides of my face and pulled me toward him. Our lips met. It wasn't a long kiss, but a forceful yet tender one. He meant it. I probably looked completely surprised.

"Good night," he softly said as he quickly walked away from me and into the doorway.

I froze. I didn't feel like moving. I hadn't had a first kiss with anyone since Jason five months ago.

 

Randall and I were on the debate team. Both of us were high school seniors. Our team consisted of seven girls and four guys. We didn't get to go to a lot of tournaments, but three times we traveled out of town. Our debate coach would get a school bus for us. Most of the time, we finished the tournament in time to drive back home. Our last one was the big one in the state. It was two days. We had to provide our own way to pay for three hotel rooms. I guess the school paid for the coach, not that I had really any idea, but we were supposed to be able to pay our own way. Split between so many students, the cost wasn't bad, and my parents had no problem paying for my share.

The hotel was pretty nice. It was a Hyatt Place. Lots of hotels closer to the school filled up. It was a big tournament. The girls were split up between two rooms. The four of us guys shared one room. We were young. No one objected.

The tournament had gone well. We won each of our debates in the preliminary rounds so we moved on to the semi-finals. They started at 10 the next morning.

The school couldn't pay for meals, but breakfast was surprisingly included at this hotel. Our coach had informed us to bring enough for dinner tonight and lunch the next day. Area places offered burgers, sub sandwiches, chicken or pizza. I suppose kids always opted for pizza. As we ate, our coach told us how proud she was of our performance today. She threw a jab my way saying I was so hot-heated and blunt that I put the other team captain in his place. My teammates chuckled.

Back at the hotel, Randall told the guys that he and I would take the bed farthest from the window. We all stripped down to our underwear. One of my teammates wore a T-shirt to bed too. We talked about movies for a while. We discussed the prettiest girls in our classes and who was the hottest on the debate team. It was all stupid, but that's what guys talked about. It didn't get too dirty. Nothing racy was discussed.

After midnight we felt we should try to get to sleep to be ready for tomorrow. Randall set the alarm for 8. We all estimated we could get ready the next morning in 15-minute increments.

About 20 minutes later, one of the two — we weren't sure which — had a light snore. Randall and I could hear the other one breathing.

"They went out quick," Randall whispered to me.

We were both on our backs under the sheets, looking up at the ceiling. I don't think either of us had our eyes closed. He shifted his weight in the bed. I wasn't for sure, but I thought he had moved a few inches closer to me.

He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. I had a momentary flashback to Elijah.

Both of us could hear the other two guys in the neighboring bed. Randall scratched his chest and placed his arm back down. It rested right next to mine. His skin was touching my skin. His leg moved closer to me, and it pressed up against mine.

He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. My dick got harder than diamonds.

We laid there still. Our bodies were touching in a couple of places. We didn't move for two or three minutes. I felt one of his fingers reach over to my hand. Then his hand moved on top of mine. I rotated my hand and we locked fingers. We held hands for a minute.

He didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe my dick didn't slice through the fabric of my briefs.

I could tell he was turning his head. I turned mine. There was just enough light coming from the parking lot that we could make each other out. We both moved forward and let our lips touch. It was soft. We pulled away. We thought we could tell each other was smiling. We moved in again and kissed harder. We kissed for what seemed like hours. It was probably five minutes. I let my free hand hold his shoulder, then I let it caress his skin as I softly let it travel down his arm. When I got to his hand, I held it too.

When I had both hands locked, I could feel Randall push his tongue in my mouth. Our kissing got more serious. I moved his hand I had just grabbed and placed it on my steel plumbing captive in simple cotton. He gasped into my mouth.

"Wow. You're as big as they say," he whispered.

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter," he whispered, and continued kissing.

His hand traveled up and down the erection straining to get out of my briefs. It felt good. He used two fingers to trace the sides of my length.

Both his hands left me. He rustled under the covers, and I could tell he had removed his underwear. I reached over and felt his cock. His incredibly hard cock. I removed my briefs next.

Both of us grabbed each other's stiff dicks as we kissed more. His wasn't close to being as long as mine, but it was harder. It felt warm and fleshy, but like it was covering a crowbar. I felt the skin. I figured out this is what people meant by "uncut." We jerked on each other for several minutes while kissing.

We never let go. We stroked and rubbed and yanked and pulled as our breathing got more ragged.

"Oh fuck, Lance," he whispered and engulfed my mouth.

I felt warm liquid on my hand and navel. He was coming, and it sent me over the edge. I shot my thick cum onto the bedsheets.

"I'm coming too," I whispered to him.

He kissed me.

Then we felt the wet, stickiness between us.

"What do we do with all this?" I whispered.

"I don't fucking care. That was a blast."

Randall wrapped his arm around me, and we made out for a few more minutes. Eventually, we knew we needed to sleep but had no desire to do so. I turned my back to him. He moved his body up behind mine. Any time we felt something sticky we giggled. He put his arm around me again.

"Good night," I whispered.

"Thank you," he whispered back.

Then he put his hand on my dick and held it.

"Fuck, you're big," I heard him whisper into my neck.

 

—

 

I had to pee before anyone got up, so I wriggled back into my underwear and went into the bathroom.

Alexander must have turned off the alarm because I heard him showering at about 7:50. I softly knocked and told him I needed to pee.

I walked back to the main room. I looked at the sheets to see if they were stained. Huge. It was so obvious. Had they been white, no. But this hotel used a pale green to match the paint on the walls. I pulled the comforter up to cover the evidence.

Alexander came out and Lin went in. By that time, we were all stirring, and lights had come on. Alexander turned his back, and I saw Randall look under the cover at the sheets to check it out. He looked at me in horror but laughed under his breath. Alexander still wasn't looking, and I reached below the sheets. I grabbed Randall's cock briefly. He was still naked. I could tell his dick was only a few inches long now, but I still liked touching it. No. I loved touching it.

Lin came out, so I said I would shower next.

"Don't use up all the hot water," Randall said.

In the shower, I could feel some of Randall's cum dried on my hip and some in my bush. I made sure that I was squeaky clean before coming out. I had a towel wrapped around me.

"Where are the guys?" I asked, only seeing Randall.

"They hit breakfast."

Randall grabbed my arm and pulled me over. He slid his fingers inside the towel and made it fall off.

"You are fucking huge," he grinned.

I was shocked to the core when he leaned over and sucked on my cock.

"Randall! They could come in at any minute."

He sucked me for a minute or two and it felt good. I should have felt awkward standing there getting a blow job, but I didn't. It felt magical. We were just fooling around.

"Okay, okay. Stop. They could be coming back," I said.

As I reached into my bag to get new briefs, I saw Randall slip out of the sheets. He had a stiff boner as he walked into the bathroom. I followed him in.

"Hey," I said.

"What?"

I got on my knees and put his erection in my mouth. I sucked for a minute. We were just being guys. No big deal.

"I just wanted to do that," I said standing up. "I've never done it."

"Had you ever kissed a guy before?"

"No. Girls. Three. Never a guy."

"I'm glad I was your first kiss," he said, and we stood there kissing, both of us naked. Our hard-ons poked each other.

Then he stepped into the shower.

 

"Hi, buddy. I need to talk," I told Trent when he answered.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I think so. Actually, I'm not sure what to think."

"I'm confused," he said.

"I met somebody."

"Somebody ...?"

I was scared to tell him too much about Jakob. I'm sure the description would put him off. What was the right thing to say?

"Somebody ... as in a date somebody?" he inquired.

"Uh. I wouldn't call it a date. We just talk. Actually, he kissed me tonight."

"Seriously! Where did you meet? What's he like? Give me details, dude!"

"I'm ... not sure I'm ready for that. Actually, it's not like anything is happening. We've just talked. But I find myself liking him."

"Well, good for you. You're getting out there. Um, does he know you can't drink?" Trent asked, sounding worried.

"He knows."

I didn't want to tell him Jakob's also in AA. I didn't know what else to say.

"For someone who needed to talk, you are telling me nothing," Trent said.

"Right. I shouldn't have brought it up," I said, trying to drop it.

"Fine. Leave me hanging, you jerk." I knew Trent was joking, but I was leaving him hanging.

I wasn't expecting to panic, but I did. I suddenly felt like I had ten million secrets. What was I afraid of? What didn't I want Trent to know? What was I hiding from myself? I pictured Trent in my mind.

"He won't be you," I said. Barely.

Trent was silent for a moment.

"Well, he shouldn't be me. He can't be me."

"Right. I guess that's the thing. I'm a little excited to actually like someone, but I'm afraid it will all fall apart. What if I mess this up — not that there is ANYthing to mess up — by comparing him to you."

"Well, don't. Nobody should ever compare anybody to anybody. Let him be himself."

"And that's kind of what I like," I replied.

"Take it at the pace you want it to go. It doesn't have to move any faster than you want it to. But I'm happy for you."

"Okay. Thanks. I'll keep you in the loop. Love you, buddy," I said.

"I love you too, Lance."

I walked out to the kitchen to get some water. Evan was at the kitchen table on his laptop.

"I didn't expect you to be up this late still."

"I couldn't go to sleep. I decided on a bowl of cereal."

Without going into a lot of personal detail, I explained why I had brought Jakob by. Evan thought I was a very kind person to make that gesture.

"There's a kindness in Jakob that I feel is so buried by so many years of hurt. It's sad. But I felt glad that he has trusted me."

"Good for you."

I walked back to my room with a glass of water. Yeah. Good for me.

And I was kissed! It reminded me of Randall and that incredible sense of wonderful surprise.

 

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