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10

 

If I was going to spend time next weekend at home, then I needed to take this weekend seriously. The paper was due in seven days.

My focus on my studies helped repair a sense of normalcy. Lance and my roommates weren't hovering quite as much, although each of them checked in on me every day.

The apartment wasn't the most luxurious space. The furniture was tattered — as one would expect from years of college males living on it. The rooms weren't quite as unsightly as the first time Mike walked through a month ago, but by no means ready to welcome non-college guests. But most important, it was relatively quiet. After I knocked out a lot of work this weekend, I looked at the calendar. Four weeks left. In one month, I'd be done. Done. The thought of it felt so good. Of course, there is Mike at the end of the tunnel, but just being done will feel amazing.

I was getting hungry. I texted Lance to see if he was free for dinner.

"Hey. Yeah. Come over here," he replied. Good.

Ten minutes later I knocked on his door. He answered with a beer in his hand.

"C'mon in," he said. "Want a beer? Oops. Sorry, scratch that."

"I kind of feel like Chinese tonight. What do you think?"

"Sounds good. Let me finish this."

I noticed another beer can on the counter.

"Lance? It's not even 6 o'clock. You're on your second beer?"

"Eh, it's Sunday."

"I'll drive," I said with a sarcastic edge.

Had the incident with Detrell never happened, I might have suggested going to "our" part of town. It would have been interesting to see how Lance would have reacted to the gay neighborhood. I wanted to try Thai Me Down, but we ate closer to campus. It was several blocks, but we decided to walk.

As we sat at our table, a girl came over and stood next to Lance.

"Hey, Stacy," he said politely.

"I had a great time a few weeks ago," she said. "You know you can call me anytime."

"Thanks. I'm trying to buckle down to finish the semester. Finals and everything. Hopefully, I can come up for air soon."

"Okay, cutie."

"See ya," Lance said. She walked away.

"So, Lance cutie. Tell me about Stacy," I said.

"Shut up. Anyway, of about the 12 girls I've slept with ..."

"12!!!?" I said.

"That's not too crazy."

"It's kind of crazy when you want to sleep with men," I interjected casually.

"Shhh. Anyway, she's like this sex freak."

"Oooo, do tell."

"She worked my cock like a baker in a kitchen," he said.

I laughed out loud.

"Seriously. Her hands were amazing. And, man! The things she said!"

"With your dick, I can only imagine."

"As much as the sex was crazy, I didn't really enjoy spending time with her."

"How long did you see her before having sex?" I asked.

"First date."

"First date!!? You both are total trash," I said with a sarcastic smile as I shoveled a fork full of Kung Pao chicken in my mouth.

"Hmmm. I seem to recall a certain professor fucking you in the ass an hour after you met him."

"Well, we'd known each other several years before. But ... we didn't know each other like that. Yeah. You're right. I'm trash too."

Lance laughed.

"Mike feels sooooo bad about that too. It was crazy reckless. Crazy impulsive too. Because he is older, he feels like he has to set this great example for me. I don't care. I wasn't expecting him to be a role model. We all mistakes. I love him for who he is. He's human. And to be honest, that night, I just all but shoved my dick in his face."

"You??"

"I know, right? Lance, I was such a mess at that time. I felt I had nothing to lose. I just ... wanted it. I wanted a man to touch me. It had consumed me for so long, I just went for broke. I was afraid to do anything on campus. I was scared someone would find out and life would just implode. I think Mike only did it because it had been months since he had been with anyone. Again, crazy reckless and impulsive."

"Wow," Lance said. "Mike's too hot to not get sex."

"Big breakup in a relationship. I think he just didn't have it on his radar. Just threw himself into his work. Then, in walks me."

"You two are so adorable. I hope it works out."

"Me too."

"Buuuuut ... if it doesn't or in the meeeeeantime ... ?" said Lance.

"Stop."

"Friends with benefits, that's all I'm saying."

"Would you approve of your dad having such friends?"

"Men or women?"

"Either. Either parent!!"

Lance sat silent. He took a few bites of sweet and sour pork before saying anything.

"Interesting, Trent. I've never thought of my parents and me being on the same plane. They are up there, and I'm down here," he said, waving his fork around in level circles. "I guess, I mean we are graduating, I should see us all as equal adults. I'm officially grown up after I leave college."

"Lance, you will never be grown up," I said mockingly.

"My dick says otherwise smartass," he returned. "AND, my parents are married; I'm not. They ARE different."

"Sure."

Lance kept eating. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. I didn't either. At first, it was just eating food. Then the silence became overwhelming.

"We got quiet," I said. "Hey, buddy. I was just kidding. I didn't say something wrong, did I?"

"No."

"No, buuuuut..." I said, stretching it out, hoping he would say something.

"I don't want to say," he said.

I put my fork down. I clasped my hands in front of me, resting on my elbows. I looked directly at him, peering into his eyes.

"You can tell me anything," I said.

"I don't think I can this."

"Lance, we jacked off together two weeks ago. What can you possibly not tell me?"

After saying that, I realized that would have been exceptionally awkward to overhear, but thankfully no other patrons had sat near us. The Chinese restaurant had dimmed the lights, so dusk had let the glow of the lanterns over each booth and the center of the dining room cast an ambient glow.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"Buddy, you've been such a great friend to me these past few weeks. How can you possibly hurt me?"

"Thinking about you being with — him!!! that Detrell! — cuts me deep. I know Detrell hurt you. Very much. So, I didn't want to bring this up. I didn't want to hurt you ... to think about it again." He paused. "Why were you with him, Trent? Why didn't you take me?"

"You know I didn't go to the bar with him, right?"

"Before you went outside, did he touch you?"

I took a breath. I hated remembering the night.

"A little. We danced quite a bit. He kissed me some."

"If I kiss you, you tell me to stop. I know you didn't choose anything that night. It was pretty much forced on you — and I KNOW it was not your fault — but you wound up with him. Why was it him? Do you not think I am good enough for you?"

"Bud-deee, it's not like that at all. That night was fucked. It just went fast and out of control. In my heart I only wanted to be faithful to Mike, but my head was messed up, and Detrell knew what he was doing. Certainly, looking back I sure wish you had been with me."

"Okay," he said in the smallest way possible. "I still think he drugged you."

"Lance, look at me. You're a catch. I'm not on the playing field. But you are going to find the right guy." I stopped. "Umm, do you want to find the right ... guy? I really don't have you figured out sometimes."

"Join the club."

After the dishes were cleared and we paid our check, we started the walk back.

"How comfortable are you with your sexuality, Lance?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've had sex with both. Are you going to do it forever? Right now, if I wanted to hold your hand as we walked, would you feel comfortable?"

"Would you?"

"At the beginning of the semester, I would have been terrified. If Mike were here right now, I wouldn't hesitate at all. We've kissed in front of some of my friends."

"Then ... you're in love. I'm jealous."

We went back inside his apartment. He popped open a beer. He offered me something from the fridge, but I knew I shouldn't stay.

"I guess I'll go."

Lance walked over to me. We instinctively wrapped our arms around each other. It felt good just to hold each other.

He whispered in my ear, "Want to jack off?"

"I totally want to jack off," I answered. "But I'm not going to."

I kissed him on the cheek and opened the door.

"Thanks for being my friend," I said as I exited.

 

April 19

I'm finding I look forward to spending time with Lance. Is he a replacement for Mike? Certainly not sexually, but there is a closeness that I feel with him. I can speak freely with Lance. We joke around more than our earlier days as teammates. I'm glad he is in my life. I need someone like him. I have to wonder, though, am I walking a tightrope getting TOO close to someone who is clearly attracted to me? I can't deny there is a sexual tension there. Is distancing the smart thing to do? Friendship is important right now. Hopefully, things won't get too tricky.

 

—

 

Monday went well. I was prepared. My diligence over the weekend proved fruitful. One quiz was a snap, and I was ready for discussion in my other morning class.

My paper for Communications Law and Ethics was due Friday. I'd have to see how that would turn out. I still had a ways to go.

After my last class, I went for raspberry tea where I had met Mom. It was another beautiful spring day. I loved being outside. One of the tables seemed cleaner than the others feeling slightly guilty that I was claiming a table made for four. There was a light breeze making the evening even nicer. With no more practice, I planned a run for the evening.

Across the courtyard, I saw Rich. I hadn't seen him since he came after me in the locker room. I wondered what he thought of me. Was he disgusted with me? Was he angry that he got kicked off the team in our final week? I'm sure he had no intention of talking to me. I just returned to my tea and my book.

A few minutes later I looked up and saw Rich turn his head away, like I was about to catch him looking at me. I returned to my book, but I soon saw Rich walking toward me in my peripheral vision. I sat my book down.

"Hi," Rich said.

Where was this going to go? Was he going to shout at me for being kicked off the team? Threaten me? Tell me I'm sick because I'm gay? I wasn't prepared for what he might say.

"Hello," I said calmly.

"Can I sit?"

"I suppose," I said.

"Trent, I owe you a huge apology. I'm sorry. I'm very, very sorry for what I said. I hope you can forgive me."

I was stunned. I was not predicting that at all. I momentarily didn't know what to say.

"I'm surprised. Wow, Rich. That wasn't what I was expecting," I said.

"I acted like an ass. I am so sorry. I don't know why I did that," he said, his voice having a slight quiver. "Please forgive me. I am so sorry. I don't want you to think I'm a terrible person."

"I forgive you, Rich. I've made my share of mistakes, so I can't fault someone else for an error in judgement," I acknowledged. "To be honest, I thought you were going to be mad for being asked to sit out from the team."

"The night I was a jerk, I went home and was depressed all night. I hated myself for doing that — to a teammate ... and a friend. I may have been a bit jealous that you had such a great night. But I heard ... you know ... that you were ... and all of us showering in the same room seemed unfair. Guh, I was the one who was unfair. You've never done anything wrong. I am so sorry I came after you."

"What did the coach say?"

"He said he had heard what happened, and it was his job to follow up on it. The university has certain protocols. I didn't deny it. I owned up to my actions. He did what he had to do."

"I didn't tell him, Rich," I quickly said.

"I know you didn't; Coach told me you weren't the one to bring it up."

"Did he tell you who said something?" I asked.

"No. I'm not sure, but it makes no difference. He was right to suspend me."

"Wow. I appreciate that, Rich. That means a lot to me. But I'm sorry it happened."

"My fault. Had we made the playoffs, he would have allowed me to come back if I formally apologized to you in front of the team. I wanted to. I heard you played incredibly well to make sure we had our best shot. I'm sure the whole team things I'm crap. I am crap. I'm sad that is their last impression of me."

"No, Rich," I quickly said. "There's no reason that has to be the final impression. I'll be sure to let everyone I run into know that we've patched things up. Use it as a learning opportunity going forward."

"Thanks," he said, standing up. He lowered his body down to give me a clumsy hug.

Rich didn't know what else to say. We stood in a moment of awkward silence. Then his body turned to head back to where he originally had been sitting.

"Good luck on your finals, Rich," I said as I waved goodbye.

Rich sat at the other table. It was odd that he felt he still needed to keep his distance from me. It was awkward, but somehow the situation seemed to have closure. At least as far as I was concerned. I could tell by his facial expression that he was still admonishing himself. His visage was one of not being able to forgive oneself. I hoped he could come around to that.

I felt better.

 

April 20

Life can throw you surprises. Rich came to me to ask for my forgiveness. We patched things up. It's funny how life throws you lessons rapid fire. I wonder if that stops as you get older. Do people make mistakes their whole lives? I wish the best for Rich. I'm not sure if I will run into him again, but I'm glad we ended things on a good note.

It does make me wonder who told the coach. I had told Mike. I wonder if he mentioned it.

 

After the journal entry, I went for the jog I was wanting. Several people were out on the perfect evening. Even though the temperature dropped a few degrees following sundown, it was still nice.

A jogger passed me going the other direction. I nodded in an inaudible greeting. My eyes dropped to see his package bobbing within his shorts. Clearly, he had nothing on underneath them. It made me think of Lance and what his dick would be like if he let it bounce unrestrained. I was glad I had some briefs on because that made me start to get hard. I thought of Mike's cock and was fully erect. While no one was around, I adjusted my crotch to finish my run. I thought of Lance's offer to Jack off together following dinner. We'd become very close, but that seemed to come with some sort of risk. After Detrell, I needed to make sure I was unquestionably faithful to Mike.

A shower was a good solution. I was home alone when I started. I had maintained the erection the last ten minutes of my run, uncomfortable as it was while jogging. I had been jerking my cock about five minutes in the shower when I heard the front door slam. The bathroom door was closed, so I knew I was fine. But I refused to stop. I stopped moaning and simply breathed heavy. Thinking of both Lance's cock and Mike's was driving me close to my orgasm. Oddly, I tried to remember what Rich's dick looked like. I couldn't. How ironic that he was so accusatory in the locker room, and I had no thoughts of him (naked) whatsoever.

The sound of the spray of water overshadowed my panting as cum shot to the shower floor. It felt good to come. I thought again of the remaining weeks until graduation. I wouldn't be alone while coming for much longer.

 

—      — —

I think the next chapter will be very engaging for a lot of the readers of this story (but maybe not everyone). If you'd like to be notified of when it is posted, drop me an email and I will do so each time a new chapter drops. And also check out the blog: TimothyLane414stories.blogspot.com