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I hope you enjoy this latest piece of Trent's journey.

 

 

3

 

Having reconnected with Mike last night — over the phone at least — I was feeling good about resuming classes. This was the home stretch. Graduation was within sight.

It didn't take long for that to change.

My first two classes hit me with huge projects to complete in the next month. One was an extensive paper, the other an elaborate presentation. I wasn't as worried about the latter; public speaking was no big deal, but it would require a lot of preparation.

I certainly would have struggled to see Mike in the weeks ahead. In fact, I was concerned about even just fitting basketball in. Hopefully, I could last eight weeks.

 

March 23

Clobbered by school. Part of what will get me through is knowing I get to pick up with Mike where we left off. It's going to be a long eight weeks.

I miss my time with him. This temporary break hurts not being able to just see him and touch him and lie next to him.

 

March 24

My Tuesday/Thursday classes aren't much better. Multiple tests before the semester ends — all of which require massive studying. Aaargh!

 

I was typically up first each morning. Paul got up right behind me. Sharing the bathroom was fairly routine for us. I was typically half-dressed when he came in. However, for the past three days I noticed he hardly undressed around me. Not that I ever really saw him naked that much. Maybe twice. Maybe I was imagining it, but he didn't even take his T-shirt off. I hope he wasn't uncomfortable around me now that he knew I was gay. Not that there was anything I could do about it. People treating me differently was one of my fears about coming out.

Wednesday evening, I was studying on the couch when Paul came in. After some casual chitchat he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Want one?" he asked me. It was his personal purchase.

"I'm good, man. Thanks."

He came into the living room. He could see I was studying, so he didn't turn on the television. However, he did sit down on the couch. I shut my book figuring he might wish to talk.

"How was your day?" I asked, trying to be social.

"Mostly good, but my senior Psychology course is killing me."

"I know, right? I have Johnson instead of Kelsey, but did you get this brutal research paper too?"

"Yes!! It's really going to be demanding," he said. "It totally sucks."

I took a drink of iced tea I had sitting next to the couch.

"So how old was this guy you were screwing in our apartment?" Paul asked.

I choked on my drink. "What?!" I blustered with tea running over my lips.

"Kevin said he walked in on you when you were with this old guy in your bed."

"Wonderful," I said rolling my eyes. "First, we weren't actually screwing, just so you know. And he isn't old. He's just eight or nine years older than me. That's all."

"So, 30?"

"Yes."

Paul sat silent a moment. "Wow. So, how'd you pick him up?"

"Uhhh, it's a long story. I'd rather not get into it."

"Still seeing him?"

"Kind of. I was getting behind in classes, so he said he'd wait until I graduated."

"That's nice, I guess. So, in the meantime you aren't getting any?"

"Paul! I'm sure I can survive a couple months. I'm actually kind of new to ... the whole thing ... anyway. I wasn't `getting any' anyways. Not until a few weeks ago."

"No biggie," he said. "Just wondering. Sorry for asking; it's not my business. You were talking about it openly to me the other night. I was just wondering."

"No problem. I don't mind if you have questions. In the meantime, I'll just start my plans to strangle Kevin."

"Don't be mad. We were just casually discussing you the other day, that's all. He really likes you. Well, I mean he doesn't LIKE like you, he just thinks you're..."

"Stop. I know what you mean. Kevin's cool."

Paul took a couple swigs of beer just staring at nothing in particular.

"So. Have you ever been naked with a girl before?"

"None of your business. Have you ever been naked with a guy before?"

"Well, I guess I should let you study."

Paul walked into the bedroom, taking a bag of chips and the remaining half of his beer. We had so few snacks. I was kind of surprised chips were there. It's funny, even though we weren't snack villages like other college apartments, I still remember Mike walking through that day and noticing all the wrappers and clutter. I looked around; we had gotten better about cleaning up, but it was still evident that a group of guys lived here.

I wasn't going to be able to study after that conversation. I wondered what I could do that would be constructive. Not much. I cleaned up the living room a little. That made me feel better.

I checked my phone for texts. None. It had been a few days since Mike and I talked. I texted the picture of the two of us in our boxers I took a few weeks ago.

"Thinking of you."

No response. Maybe he wants me to stay away until graduation. That was a suggestive picture. Maybe I shouldn't have sent it. Geez, he probably thought I was some sort of childish deviant.

I looked in the cabinet for anything to snack on. I wasn't hungry. I didn't need anything. I just needed a snack for snacking's sake.

The phone buzzed. I ran to look.

"Thanks. Now you have me hard as a rock."

"Good to know," I texted back.

"God, I miss you, Trent. I guess you'll know what I'll be doing the next 20 minutes."

"Wish I could join you. Good night. Love you, hon."

 

March 25

Had a weird talk with my roommate tonight. But it was fine. I'm not sure if regular guys talk about sex with each other. It's kind of weird. At the same time, I am no longer going to hide who I am.

Yeah, sure. Except Mom and Dad. Coward.

I hope my roommates don't feel weird around me now, but they seemed to have treated me about the same. Perhaps they feel awkward undressing around me. I guess they only have to worry about that for a couple months. Am I really still not a regular guy?

 

I heard another text come in.

"Can you email me the picture of the two of us all dressed up?"

I made sure to send Mike the photo before going to bed.

 

 

Friday morning, I was the first up again. After I got out of the shower, I heard a knock at the bathroom door while I was shaving.

"Yeah, you can come in," I said, expecting it to be Paul.

It was Kevin.

"You usually aren't up this early," I said.

"I know. My swim team is doing this volunteer thing at the Food Bank. We have to be there at 8:00."

I continued shaving. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kevin looking at me. He probably hadn't seen me naked before. Well, except when he walked in on Mike and me. He was looking at my dick. I turned to glance at him. He saw me and turned away. I thought his lips mouthed the word, "wow." I took it as a compliment with a slight smile as I returned to shave.

Kevin reached behind the shower curtain to start the water. As he reached for his towel, I glanced from the side and noticed he was starting to get a hard-on. Maybe it was from just waking up. I wanted to think it was because he saw my cock and liked it.

I was not one to judge other guys' dicks. I had just started to allow myself to look at them this year. I liked the looks of Kevin's. His penis was just started to get hard, or at least I was interpreting a bit of chub to tell me that. Completely soft, I would guess it was about three inches, but it had a nice look. Smooth. Was it weird that I thought the coloring was good?

In years past, even the first semester this year, I wouldn't look at another guy undressed. Sometimes I couldn't help it at practice, but I was always worried that I would get hard in front of them. I was now. Kevin couldn't see from the shower but looking at him and thinking about getting hard — it got me hard.

I wanted Mike. I needed Mike. I needed sex. It was part of my life now. I just had to be willing to wait.

My erection would not go down. I walked back into the bedroom naked, but kept a towel held in front of me in case Paul could see. The lights were on; he was up.

"Morning," he said.

I could tell he had awoken with some morning wood. Swell. I would never go down. Thankfully, he went into the kitchen. I dropped the towel as I heard him tinker around. I should have just put on my briefs, but I yanked on my cock for a minute. It felt so good. If only I had time to finish the job.

 

 

We had a Saturday game this week. We had three practices instead of four. We all seemed back in the groove.

When Saturday came, I wondered if Mike might be there. As we were warming up, I looked over to where he had sat in the past. I could not find him. That was fine, I supposed. He's giving me space; we've put things on pause. He's probably busy too. It's a crunch time of year.

Ten minutes into the game I scored my first basket. Like with every score, the crowd cheered. But I knew I heard Mike's voice in there. I glanced for a split second but couldn't make hm out. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part.

A few minutes later I scored again. In the cheers someone called me out by name. I knew it was him. I was on the sidelines during a free throw following a foul. I looked. I searched the crowed. Higher up center court he was there. Alone. Our eyes locked. Both of us beamed with huge smiles. I gave him a quick wink before I moved back on the center of the court.

His presence was a driving force for me the rest of the night. I wanted to score just so I could hear him call my name. Maybe that was childish, but it was fuel. It was a great game; I think I scored the most, which had never happened. And we won.

After the game, several friends and family members came courtside to talk to players. I knew I looked terrible and was a sweaty mess. I didn't care. I wanted to see him. Hopefully, he would come down. I looked. I didn't see him in the crowd. Maybe he felt it best that he didn't talk with me.

Then I saw him. I ran over to him.

"Don't get close. I'm a mess," I said.

"You were amazing! You played a great game."

"Thanks for being here," I said.

"I didn't want to miss it. You were a total stud out there. I'm glad I got to see it."

"The next two weeks are away games," I said. He probably wouldn't make those, but he was here. Now. "It's nice to see you, Mike."

"Same here." He looked around. He then whispered, "I miss you."

"Me too," I softly said.

Lance walked by and winked at Mike. I saw Mike's body language just wither in pain. I'm sure he was thinking of that "shower."

"I'll let you get with your team. Go out and celebrate. I'm proud of you, Trent."

Mike walked away. I turned to head to the showers.

"Trent!"

I turned.

"Dad! I didn't know you were here. Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"You were on fire, son!" Dad beamed. "You were the man."

"Thanks, Dad. It was a good night. Did you come alone?"

"Yeah. I finished early this afternoon and thought I'd come see you play one last time."

"Aww, thanks Dad. If we make playoffs you'll come, right?"

"Absolutely. I'm proud of you, son."

"Thanks, Dad!" I said with a smile heading off the court. I called back, "Give my love to Mom."

Wow. Hearing Dad say he was proud of me was very heartwarming. Sometimes the two of us feel so strained, but it seemed like things were getting better. But he didn't know I was gay yet.

As I entered the locker room I wondered if Dad had seen Mike talking to me. Surely, he had to. I wonder if he suspected anything. He would have no reason to. Neither of us showed any affection. How many times can Mom and Dad see him before wondering though? Questions are sure to come up. Will I have the right answers to tell them?

 

March 28

Tonight was awesome! I played great. We won. My dad said he was proud of me. And I SAW MIKE! I feel so silly. Like some schoolgirl with a crush. How pathetic am I?

It's nice to feel happy. Typically, I think of myself as a happy person, but since coming out, I feel happier. Like I'm me. Tonight was really good. The only thing that could make it better would be to fall asleep in Mike's arms.

Even though we're apart, Mike was there at the game. Dad probably saw. I don't know if I should be worried.

May can't get here fast enough.

Well, at least one week down.