Thank you for continuing with the story. Trent's story overlaps with Lance's in his book: Hi, I'm Lance, as you probably are aware.
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Timothy
36
August 23
I haven't written anything in the
journal in weeks. My play is done. Mike and I looked it over before he had to
report to school. I'm proud of it. He was too. He sheepishly asked if he could
make a couple suggestions. I trusted him completely, of course. The man taught
me, so I know his educational expertise. The changes were simple, but they did
help the flow in a couple of places.
Ethan sadly picked up Sascha.
Since the play is done, I
haven't had this journal out as much.
Mike did leave for a few days.
He went on his own to a simple town called Hope. It had artists and antiques.
He found a quaint bed-and-breakfast. We called each other all the time. He said
he was having a good time but seriously missed me. Heaven knows I missed him.
While Mike was gone, I helped
Zach with a community aid thing with his church. It felt rewarding. I'm glad I
did it. He said he hasn't heard from Lance. I wish Lance knew that Zach really
did care for him.
I am sporting facial hair now.
With Mike away, I thought I'd try it. It looks okay. The moustache works better
than the beard. The jury is out. Scott likes it. Lance hates it. Mike came back
and said he liked it, but I'm not sure if he was just being nice. Evan said it
looked fine. We'll see. I do think it makes me look older. Well, except for a
spot in the beard that just doesn't want to fill in evenly.
I still haven't seen Dad. He
hasn't talked or texted me. So be it.
Once Mike gets school under way,
Lance wants us to get together so that we can get to know Jakob. It seems to be
going okay, but I'm still concerned.
The station has added to my
writing duties, which was a compliment in a way. Not in a financial way, but...
The hosts have me comment almost every day. I just love it. I'm not a part of
the show by any means, but I'm on the air quite a bit.
We're six weeks from Matt and
Ali's wedding. I've been in communication a lot more with them. Ali is over the
moon. Matt seems more along for the ride.
I'm looking forward to the fall.
This will be my first holiday season being in love. I'm really looking forward
to that.
"Are you able to come over for dinner on Thursday?" Lance
asked. "It's my birthday, and I'm having a few people over. You will be able to
meet Jakob."
"It is? Then absolutely. Can I assume Mike can come?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Of course." Lance added, "No gifts; just
come. 7:30."
"I can't wait to meet your new boyfriend."
"Hmm," Lance said. "I'm not sure if I will ever get used to
saying and hearing that, but ... it's nice to be able to. Trent, I tell ya, I
lived in denial for so long. It is nice just not to have to tense up
questioning if I am gay. Once you accept it, it's like breathing for the first
time."
"Oh, I can so relate. I was there at one point. It was just
like that. Oxygen!"
"Love you, buddy. See you in a few days."
He had grown so much. It is sad that it took a car wreck to
fix his life, but ... no alcohol, coming out, finding a guy — it was all probably
for the best.
—
As summer wound down, it was a little more challenging to
get together with friends. Mike had traveled and then had to get ready for
school. It was nice just to have dinner with Lance and Evan. I was very curious
as to what I would think of Jakob. I didn't want to come off as a judge-y
friend. I'm happy he has found someone. Deep down I was afraid I wouldn't like
Jakob or at least think he wasn't right for Lance. Two alcoholics. It scared
me. It probably will for a while.
Mike came to my house first and had the gift ready. I signed
the card. We drove together.
Lance answered the door. As we went in, we thought the place
looked great.
"What have you done with the place? I
can't tell why, but it looks really good," Mike said.
"Jakob's touch,"
Lance answered. "Evan and I came home, and Jakob had cleaned, straightened and
made simple changes in the arrangement. You should have seen what he did to my
bedroom."
"That lost cause?" I
joked.
"I know! He has a
flair for it."
Evan and Jakob were
in the kitchen. Lance took Mike and me in to meet him. He introduced us. Jakob
informed us that his name was spelled with a K.
"So, you're the one
who got away?" Jakob said to me.
"Wha
-?"
"Jakob!" Lance said.
"I'm sorry," Jakob
said. "I've heard a lot about you. Lance speaks extremely highly of you."
Okay, that was odd
but polite at the end. I'm not sure if I am going to like this Jakob. He wasn't
what I was expecting. I figured Lance would attract some stud. I mean — with
that dick. Jakob seemed like a simple average person. Gosh. Saying those words
in my mind suddenly made me wonder why that sounded like a flaw? Lance seemed
taken with him. As his best friend, I would be supportive.
Evan and Jakob
brought the food to the table. Lance brought out glasses with tea.
"If you guys would
like some wine, Evan has a bottle in his room that we can open."
I was thrown. "Um.
That's nice of you, but we're just fine with tea."
I never wanted to
see Lance and alcohol in the same room. Obviously, that couldn't last forever.
I realized there was a strength in him being able to say that. Good for him for
being tough. But no need.
"Mike, how is the
school year starting?" Lance asked.
"Oh. Um." He went
silent. "I think I have some good kids in the mix. I've only had them a week."
That was an
exceptionally awkward answer. What was that about?
"So, Jakob, how did
you and Lance meet?" Mike said, trying to change the subject.
"Us? We've actually
met in AA. A few of us go out after some meetings for coffee. Well, Lance leans
toward milkshakes. But we got to know each other that way. And I can't figure
out for the life of me why, but he sees something worthwhile in me."
The two leaned in
for a kiss.
"He's good for me,"
Lance said.
"How sweet," Mike
said.
"I went with Lance
to his first meeting," I said. "I think I remember you there. Forgive me if
this is too personal, Jakob, but I seem to recall you were kicked out of your
house at 17. Is that right?"
"Sadly, yes. It ...
was not good. If I was gay, I was not welcome."
"Like it's something
you can just turn off," I said. "I'm not doing well with my father right now,
either. But your situation was really harsh, and at such a young age. I'm sorry
you had to deal with that."
I felt like I had
brought the conversation down.
"Gentlemen,
everything is delicious," Mike said, rescuing me.
"Thanks," the three
of them said in unison.
"Evan did most of
the cooking," Lance said.
"It's your birthday.
Of course."
"Like that means
anything. He cooks all the time."
"Apparently he's
cooks healthy, because you look great, Lance," Mike said.
"I love you more
every day, Michael Terry," Lance said with a smile.
"I was trying to
lose that 20 pounds, and I finally got that last pound to drop off. But I do
give credit to Evan. I'm eating out less, and certainly junk food isn't around
the house. Between no alcohol and the drop in weight, I feel so much better.
I've also been doing better at work. They threw me a ... well, it was just cake ...
but during the festivities today, Jason pulled me aside and told me I was doing
a super job. He even hit on me."
"Wait, what?" Jakob
asked.
"Don't worry. He was
half kidding, and I shot it down."
"Jason is indeed
something," Mike said.
"Oh yeah, you
remember," Lance said.
"But what a house!"
Once dinner was over,
Evan pulled out a key lime pie. After it was sliced, Jakob brought everyone a piece.
A birthday candle was placed in Lance's slice.
"My favorite!" Lance
said.
We sang. Mike and I
harmonized beautifully. Jakob even remarked that our voices were beautiful.
"We've sang together
a few times. It started when we drove to see his parents last month. Oh! We
have something for you in the car," I said, hopping up.
I darted to the car
and got the small box.
"What's this? I said
no gifts!"
"Just open it. It's
very simple," I said.
Lance ripped off the
paper. Popping the tape on the box, he opened up the tissue and pulled out a
T-shirt. It had a rainbow flag and said PRIDE.
"We thought you
needed one. Now that you are out, it seemed essential. Mike and I have matching
ones, so when we go out, we can be adorable together."
I suddenly wondered
if that sounded like leaving Jakob out. That was never our intention. Hopefully,
he didn't think so.
"Aw. Sweet guys. I
love it. Now I really feel `out.' It's perfect."
He opened the card.
"We thought about
funny or dirty, but went with this," I said. I knew it was mushy.
He smiled at both of
us. "I'm lucky to have friends like you, too."
He gave both of us a
hug and then went back to finish his pie.
Shortly thereafter I
helped clear the table. Evan, Jakob and I rinsed plates and loaded the
dishwasher. We talked a moment. I noticed out in the living room Mike and Lance
had pulled to the side. I wasn't sure what they were talking about. Lance gave
Mike a kiss on the cheek. I had a hunch. Mike gave him a simple kiss on the
lips.
It wasn't long
before we prepared to head out.
"It was nice meeting
you, Jakob," I said.
He agreed. I'm not sure what each of us thought of each
other. He seemed nice enough, but I seemed hesitant to be completely convinced.
We said goodnight and walked to the driveway.
"What did you think of Jakob?" I asked Mike in the car.
"He seems nice enough. He and Lance click, so I'm glad Lance
has someone to ease him out of the closet."
That should have been my job as his best friend, but with
the two of us, the sexual tension was too much. But I couldn't help but feeling
a little bit replaced.
"And you?" Mike asked.
"I don't know. I guess he's okay. I always pictured Lance
having the most beautiful guy in town."
"Too late. I already took him," Mike said, grabbing my hand.
"You're sweet. But Jakob seems so ... just average. And that shouldn't
be my opinion. I mean, how shallow to just judge people on their appearance?
But is that the natural default? You're right, Jakob is nice enough. Lance
likes him; I should too."
"You may be a bit jealous, too."
"Jealous? I'm with you, Mike."
"I know, babe. But you two are so close. You truly define
best friends. I almost get jealous of you two at times. When someone intervenes
in a friendship, it's natural to feel a little pushed out."
"Hm. Maybe. I just want Lance to be happy. I'm just cautious."
"He clearly sees something in Jakob. Sounds like he is
finding the greater beauty on the inside."
"You say that so well, hon'. It's like you're a teacher or
something."
We chuckled.
At bedtime, we snuggled closely. An evening thick with male
love was a nice aphrodisiac.
"Can I come inside you tonight?" he whispered in my ear as
we turned out the lights.
"I'd love it, baby."
The moon was bright, so it offered the perfect romantic
lighting. We could slightly see each other's bodies in the darkness. I chose
the first position as Mike lied on his back. After lubing his stiff rod, I
lowered myself to impale my hole onto it. As he entered me, we both moaned. I
slid up and down his erection for several minutes. Neither of us spoke words,
just sounds of accepted pleasure. I arched my back and rode my lover, relishing
the sensation of his flesh moving inside me. Any distracting emotions I had
been feeling during the evening dissipated as I felt Mike's throbbing cock fill
me.
Mike leaned up and grabbed my body with his hands. We
strained to make our lips meet. We sat. We kissed with his pole firmly in me,
but we stopped fucking and concentrated on kissing.
"I love you, Trent," he moaned into his kisses.
"Me too, baby. Me too. I want to feel you on top of me."
We changed positions. I lied on my stomach. Mike moved up
behind me. His dick found my tunnel again and charged inward. He groaned into
my ear.
"Yeah. Fuck me. I love feeling your body on top of mine,
Michael."
Mike locked his arms underneath mine. He let every ounce of
his beautiful body lay on top of mine. I loved the feeling of being surrounded
by his love. He pushed his cock into me in rhythmic thrusts. I loved hearing
him groan with each push. One of his hands moved under me and gripped my chest
as he further fucked my ass. I wanted this to last forever, but I knew with his
rigorous pounding in this position, Mike would erupt inside me soon. I moaned
as he pushed, and we were audibly in sync. As his volume escalated, I heard my
mouth almost whimper while he pleasured his flesh inside my body.
He pulled out his cock. "I don't want to come just yet."
I rolled to my side, and he moved forward; we kissed for
several minutes. He grabbed my dick as we kissed. He groped. I moaned. We
kissed. He groped some more. I moaned louder. We kissed some more.
"I want you back in me, Michael," he pleaded into my lips.
We resumed our position. He recoated his hardened meat with
glistening lube. I awaited him to enter my ass again. It was glorious when he
did. My hole was filled with him, with his passion. He slightly gyrated his
engorged erection inside me before he began his pumping rhythm. We groaned in
intense pleasure as his drilling continued. His throbbing flesh glided against
my internal skin.
Mike's arm wrapped around my neck as if we were wrestlers.
He grunted in ecstasy into my ear. I echoed it with greater volume.
"Fuck me, Michael. Fuuuuck me.
FUCK me."
"J.T.! Oh yeah. J.T.!!!!"
I could tell by the way his cock was shoved and paused in a
new rhythm that my passage was being lined with his lustful liquid. He muffled
his groaning at my ear, but I could sense each spurt of his cum by his oral
growl at my cheek. Both hands moved under my chest, and he pressed us together
tightly. With one final gasp, his tight squeeze on me relaxed. His body went
limp, crushing me with his weight, which I welcomed.
"Ooooooohhh, J.T. Making love to you never gets old. I love
you so much," he whispered to me.
"I want you to stay inside me," I replied.
We rolled on our sides. I grabbed my dick and pulled and
stroked and grabbed. Mike reached around and caressed my balls as he continued
to thrust his cock in me, trying to maintain the rigidity of his manhood.
It only took a few minutes of our combined movement and
stimulation to get me close. I called out loudly in my pleasure. Mike pushed
his crotch to help bring me to the edge.
"Yeah, Michael. Fuck me more. Fuck me more."
We squirmed in our moaning.
"Come for me, beautiful," he whispered to me.
"I'm coming," I moaned. "Yeaaaahhh."
My seed spilled onto the towel across the bed. The first
stream overshot the towel. The rest rushed from my dick in timed spasms. Mike's
breathing matched mine, and it took a moment for normalcy to be restored.
"We should probably do the sheets tomorrow," I joked.
—
It was Friday and I was the first to go to work. I planned
on returning in the evening and then spend the weekend at his house.
Mike and I settled into a routine of sex about twice a week.
It was still intense when we enjoyed it, but just sharing a bed was equally
satisfying. I loved sleeping next to him.
—
Mike and I ran before showering together. We got dressed for
an afternoon of Saturday shopping. I was hoping to get a couple new things for
the apartment. Paychecks helped — finally. As we finished a bowl of oatmeal for
breakfast, I remembered something from the evening at Lance's apartment.
"When Lance asked how school was going, your answer seemed
odd."
"Oh." Mike didn't say anything after that.
"Is something wrong at work?"
"Not anymore."
"Honey, what happened?"
Mike looked away. "I am hesitant to tell you. I don't think
it's a good idea."
I held his hand. "Tell me." I hoped I sounded appropriately
concerned.
"It won't be easy to hear."
"We're in this together, honey. You can tell me."
"An ... accusation ... was made against me. I was called into my
administrator's office during in-service week to discuss it."
"What kind of accusation?"
"Sexual. It was told that I tried to turn students gay."
"What!!?? That doesn't even make sense."
"It was your dad, Trent. He brought the accusation to the
school."
"WHAAATT!!?"
"I convinced them that ..."
"WHAAAAAATT!!?"
"Trent, it's settled ..."
"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT!! That asshole!!"
"Babe, ..."
"How can you even look at me knowing that my father tried to
fuck up your job. OH MY GOD!!"
I jumped up and went into the bedroom to get my keys and
wallet. I rushed to the front door.
"Trent! Where are you going?"
"Where the hell do you think? He's not getting away with
this."
I'm sure he probably would have tried to stop me, but Mike
didn't have the chance. I was out the door.
As I made the 45-minute drive to Toomersville, I was
seething. How could he do that? How!!?
I pulled into the driveway, slammed my car door shut and
stormed into the living room. Dad was in the recliner reading the newspaper. I
startled him.
"Trent ..." he gasped.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!!?? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING
MIND??"
"Son, I was only thinking about you."
"Thinking about ME!!?? By HURTING the most important man in
my LIFE??! The man I love! How hateful have you become? How much darkness is in
your soul that you try to ruin the career of an incredible teacher — and the
person that means the most to me!? You are hateful, Joe Kyriazi!! You are a
HATEFUL man!"
Mom burst into the room. "What's going on? Trent! What's all
this shouting?"
"Does she know!? Does she know how cruel you are?" I
screamed, pointing at Mom.
"Trent, think about it," my father said. "You started
looking at those pictures the year you had his class. Don't you think he has
something to do with changing the way you are? It can't be a coincidence. There
has to be a reason that changed you. How many other kids could he have done
this to?"
"Have you lost your mind!? That doesn't even make sense. You
couldn't accept that it was just your own DNA when I was born, huh?"
"Son, we've always ..."
"I hated living in this house because of the things
you said to me. His class was the only thing that gave me hope. He didn't do
anything to me. He didn't change me! He's just a good teacher. We didn't
even have any talks like this until we were both adults. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS
DAD?? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU HURT ANOTHER PERSON'S CAREER
THAT WAY?'
"Trent, your father is ..." Mom started.
"An ass!!" I stared him right in the eyes. "You're an
asshole. I'm embarrassed to be your son. You are the most hateful man I know!
We are done, Dad. You and I — WE'RE DONE!!"
I started back to the door. "I never want to see you ever
again."
"Trent, please wait," Mom said.
"Mom, I'm sorry you are trapped in the middle of this." I
looked directly into her face. "But I feel sorrier that you're married to him."
I slammed the front door behind me and got into my car. As I
backed up out of the driveway, I saw Mom peer through the front window and turn
back to my father.
As I got out on the highway, my blood was surging. It was a
wonder it didn't burst from my veins. My eyes welled with tears. My nose ran.
After blowing my nose, I had to call Lance. As I screamed
into the phone, I knew he didn't know what to say, but he let me talk, let me
vent, let me scream.
I drove to his place instead of Mike's. When he opened the
door, he said nothing. He just took me in his arms and held me. There were
absolutely no words that could make this better.
My phone buzzed. It was Mike.
"Babe, tell me you are okay."
"I need to think. I'll be back this afternoon. I'm so
sorry, Mike. I am so sorry."
I tossed the phone on the couch cushion. I buried my face
into Lance's chest.
"Why would my father do this to me, to Mike, to us. My God!
I hate him so much. I fucking hate him."
He held me tighter. I wrapped my arms around him and
squeezed.
"Trent. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to think of
the right words. But I do know that Mike and you love each other. No matter
what happens with your dad, you two will be okay. He is there for you. Just
take this one day at a time."
"Fuck. How can Mike even look at me. My family almost ruined
his career."
I eventually calmed down somewhat. Lance and I grabbed a
light lunch. We went back to the old college bistro. He grabbed a wrap; I got a
burger. I only ate half of it. I found it difficult to fully breathe for a
couple of hours. Eventually, I knew I had to head back to Mike's place.
"Call me if you need me. Love you, Trent."
"Thanks for being here for me. You always have my back. Love
you, Lance." I kissed him on the cheek.
"Always," he whispered.
I dreaded walking into Mike's house. I couldn't even fathom
what to even say to the man I love. He looked me in the face as I quietly
walked in. He opened his arms, and I walked into them. He held me. The two of
us stood quietly. I began sobbing. I wasn't sure why. Was it because I had now
cut off my family? Was it because the man I love was hurt? Would he feel
different about me? Mike held me closer. The dam burst and the tears flowed for
several minutes.
After regaining my composure, we sat on his back deck. I
looked at the flowers we had planted.
"How can you even look at me?"
"Trent, you and your father are two different people. I
deeply love you. That won't change. Okay?"
I nodded.
"Yes. I was hurt. I was thrown for a loop. I didn't expect
to have to defend myself against something that never happened, but ... I did. My
administrator stood with me."
"Thank God," I softly said. "What was he thinking??!!"
"I take it you went to see him?"
"It lasted about five minutes."
"What did you say?"
"Well, I screamed more than said probably, but I told him I
never wanted to see him again. Ever. We're done."
"Nothing's forever, babe."
"Maybe. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for this. I
don't even want to see his face."
"What about your mom?"
"God. I'm sure she feels trapped. She's married to him, but
also knows the wonderful man you are. I can't imagine what her life is like at
the moment. But, you know, I'm not going to take that on. That's her issue.
She'll have to figure out how to handle that burden."
We sat quietly.
"Thank you for not hating me," I eventually said.
"I love you, Trent. I always will."
"I'm not really in a shopping mood. Are you okay if I just
head home for the day?"
"I understand."
Ten minutes later he gave me a firm hug at the door. We
softly kissed, and I headed home.
August 29
I needed to write. I needed to
express outrage. I don't care if I ever see my father again. I feel so
betrayed, so ... stabbed in the back. What a horrible man. He's an asshole.
This had to hurt Mike so much.
How did he hold this inside and not tell me? He had to be infuriated. How is
his heart big enough to forgive me? That's not the right word. He isn't
forgiving my father. At least he is able to separate the two of us even though
we're in the same family.
I've felt disappointment and
anger at my father before, but this is just rage. Sheer rage. I hate him for
fucking with our lives.
—
After being miserable the rest of the weekend, I talked to
my station managers and asked if I could duck out when we didn't have a
live-anchor show. They were agreeable, sensing it was important.
I drove to Jerome Hawkins and headed into the school office.
Within 10 minutes I was in the principal's office.
"Thank you for seeing me," I said. "I left work because your
office staff said you had no appointments to leave the building this
afternoon."
"Well, Mr. Kyriazi, when I saw your name on the message, I
dropped everything. How would you like to start?"
"I cannot begin to think of what my father said, what he
insinuated, but I wanted you to know — completely and fully know — that it is
all untrue. Michael Terry is an outstanding teacher and a wonderful man. The
students love him. He cares about his classes. He never, ever did anything that
could remotely be construed as ... inappropriate. It is important to me for you
to know that."
"Well, first, thank you for seeing me. Had I felt seriously
about your father's accusation, I would have asked for you to come in. Like
you, I think Mr. Terry is a true asset to our school. I rarely, if ever, get
any type of criticism about him. But I hear a lot of favorable remarks from
parents and students."
"Good," I said.
"You do understand that when it comes to student safety that
I have to take any report seriously."
"I suppose that's true."
"I asked your father what proof he had of any of the alleged
sexual influences Professor Terry had made against you."
"There were none! Ever."
"And your father didn't offer any proof." Mrs. Keeter
shifted in her chair. "He said it was the obvious reason that you are gay."
I rolled my eyes.
"Mr. Kyriazi, may I ..."
"Please, call me Trent."
"Okay. Trent, might I politely ask if you are gay?"
"Yes. I accepted it this spring and came out this year."
"And are you currently involved with Mr. Terry?"
This was awkward. To say "yes" sounded bad.
"Following my college graduation, Mike and I did establish a
relationship. But please know, I came to him. He barely recalled me from all
those years back other than being a good student. It was me that went to him.
Please, please know that. I just wanted someone to talk to."
"And why him?"
"Dad suspected my sexuality in high school. I was miserable.
I hated being at home. School was just okay, but Mi ... Professor Terry was the
bright spot to my day. I felt like he cared. He made every student feel that
way. He believed in us. I felt one person believed in me. I was too terrified
to come out to anyone at school. I shouldn't have been;
my friends have been pretty great. But ... coming out is a very scary thing, Mrs.
Keeter. Our university basketball team used the gym here on certain days, so I
thought I'd talk to him. I suppose I knew he wouldn't judge me. He wasn't one
of my peers. I had less to lose. He always seemed smart. But he was just nice."
"And gay ...?"
"I actually didn't know that at the time. I thought he could
be. Maybe that is why I was willing to take the risk. But he never gave any
indication that he was. His professionalism during my years in high school was
impeccable."
She jotted something on a notepad.
"But, yes, we are seeing each other now. And he is a
wonderful man. We know our age difference seems a bit unusual, but we are two
adults who find the best in each other."
"Well. Okay. I thank you for coming to see me," she said. "It
confirms my instincts were correct."
"I am SO sorry my father has been a jerk. He just couldn't
accept the fact he had a gay son. He was looking for anything or anyone to
blame. I can't even look at him anymore. But I am very, very sorry that he
brought these untrue allegations upon Mike. It's horrible."
She held out her hand to shake mine.
"Thank you for coming."
"Thank you for seeing me."
As truthful as my words were, I knew there was that gym
shower episode. Thankfully, Dad knew nothing of it. That would have been a hand
grenade.
As I left, I debated as to whether I should tell Mike I had visited her. I wouldn't hide it, but would I offer the information? I wondered if she would mention it.
* * * *
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