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40

 

The day before Thanksgiving, we had a small gathering at the radio station. A few of the evening shift came in. The station manager wanted to wish us a pleasant holiday weekend and tell us he was thankful for the work we accomplished there at the station. A cake was brought out too. On it were the words, "Congratulations Cynthia."

"As sad as it will be to see her go, I am very proud of this next step she is taking," he said.

Cynthia was the station's producer. She had actually applied for the position suggested to me. Her final week would be the one before Christmas. She would start the new job at the beginning of the year. The pay would be equal to what she was earning here (even though the town of Sycamore wasn't as big as Jackson Bend). She wanted to be closer to her family. Before leaving for the shift, the manager called me into his office. In an incredible — and surprising — bit of news, I was being offered her job. It was a promotion if I wished to accept it. I immediately did. Karma seemed to be working in my favor. It was a lot more responsibility, but I was challenged by it. The manager had been impressed with my work this past half year and felt confident in my abilities. He personally didn't want to go through the interview process, so I was fortunate in that regard. I completely realized this was a great opportunity for someone my age, but his confidence in my work and abilities was humbling.

Mike and I would be spending the Thanksgiving holiday at his parent's house. Mom had asked if we would like to spend it at home with her and Dad, but I told her I wasn't ready for that, but I did agree for us to stop by on the way. When we arrived, Robert and Carol were there.

"I am thrilled to be able to finally introduce Mike to you," I said.

Mike thanked Robert for letting us use the lake house earlier this summer. He and Carol offered it to us again if we were ever interested. He apologized for not being able to attend our Friendsgiving but said they both appreciated being invited. My hands flourished as I conveyed that it was hugely successful.

It was pleasant conversation, but I hadn't said much to Dad at this point.

"Hi, Dad."

"Hello, son."

"How have you been?"

Robert watched the strained conversation from afar.

"I'm glad you were willing to stop by," he said. "I know you don't really care to visit with me. I don't blame you. I continue to beg for your forgiveness, but for your mother's sake, I really appreciate you doing this."

"Thanks."

I'm not sure why I held on to the bitterness, but I was not ready to forgive. Dad seemed thrilled at the news of my promotion. I had yet to tell Mom. I let him know that it didn't begin until January 1 officially, but I said I was excited about it.

Mom came over and pulled us back into the group. I shared the news with everyone, who all cheered for me. Mike and I didn't hold back affection. He would occasionally hold me from behind, and I put my arm around him when he was seated. Robert and Carol seemed very happy for us.

Mike made an effort to talk to my father. I could tell from his expression that Dad was not making small talk. He was seriously asking Mike for his forgiveness. Robert came up behind me as I watched them.

"How are things between you and your father?" he asked me.

"Strained," I said, not taking my eyes off them. "But I guess we are getting better. He just really hurt the two of us. Mike should have been outraged. I was the one more upset. I'm not sure how much you know."

"Actually a lot. Your father has confided in me quite a bit since you cut him out of your life. He knew he made a tragic mistake. It ate at him for weeks. I know it can't be easy to forgive, but sometimes people need a second chance. I hope you will consider that for the two of you to begin again."

"Tell me, Robert. Has he fully accepted I'm gay? Is that really okay with him?"

"I'm not sure I can answer that. I think he understands that you are who you are, that it wasn't just a work of happenstance or some fickle decision. He doesn't understand how it all works, but I think he knows you can't change. Deep down, perhaps, he may wish you could, but I do believe he knows that's not how it works."

"Sounds about like him. The wound was deep, but I can't say it's not healing. The pain isn't as fresh."

"Well, you and Mike seem incredibly happy."

"Oh my gosh," I said, turning toward Robert and forgetting about Dad. "We are! I moved in last month and we couldn't be happier. It's not like the age difference doesn't occasionally rear its ugly head, but overall, we are so madly in love that it just doesn't even come to mind. I consider myself so fortunate to have found him. He's a wonderful man."

I stared at the piano. Mom asked if I would play something. I played her favorite song, and she and I sang a duet. I played a Christmas carol that we all sang. I then asked if I could play "If It Weren't For the Two of Us." I explained it was from my play but that it was inspired by Mike and I making it through some crazy months. They were eager to hear it. Following, Mike placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

Before long, we had to get back on the road. Mom had sweetly made us snack bags for the drive. We hugged her for that.

"It's so nice to see you, Mike," she said. "I'm glad you stopped by. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your parents."

We hugged her and offered our best regards to family and friends.

On the highway Mike and I discussed everyone there. I asked how the talk with Dad went.

"He's trying to make amends with me," Mike said. "He is hoping I can help you find it in your heart to eventually forgive him."

"Can you??"

"Yes, Trent. I told your father I have forgiven him."

"YOU DID?!"

"Trent, I can hang on to hurt and pain or I can let it go. Which would you prefer me do?"

"Well, when you put it that way ..."

Further in the drive, the two of us enjoyed harmonizing.

 

—

 

Dinner at his parents' place was wonderful. Mike's uncle was there with his wife. He was glad to see his cousins. They all became very silly together; it was a childlike side of Mike I had never seen. I felt a bit out of that inner circle, but it was amusing to watch from afar. I loved how I was immediately accepted by his relatives. There wasn't a single look or comment in regard to our age difference.

Mike's mother asked me if I would join her in a glass of wine. I agreed. Mike and his father were looking at something in the garage. My presence wasn't required. We sat near the fireplace.

"So, Trent. I haven't really talked with you since you moved into Mike's place."

Uh oh. Was she against it?

"Um. Right. It has been nice."

"That's what Mike says. He seems so ... alert, so full of life again."

"I never really have seen him much any other way," I said, starting to feel a little relieved on how the conversation was going. "He's such an amazing man."

"He is. And I still feel you bring out the best in him."

"Thank you, Brenda" I said, not really sure how to respond. "When he was ... I'm not sure how to phrase it ... in his `funk,' did he sound different?"

"I think so. When he came to visit following the breakup with Ethan, he ... he just seemed defeated. That seems like an odd word to choose. There was no competition, of course. But it was if the wind was taken from his sails. The fact that you two have made this work makes me happy. I want it to work between you two."

What a difference between her and my piece of shit as a father. I was embarrassed to even bring up my own family.

"We are extremely committed to each other," I said. "I will do anything in my power to make him happy."

She patted my hand. "I can tell. You're a good boy..." She paused. "...you're a good man, Trent." I think if she had called Ethan a "good boy," there would have been no awkwardness. Because I was recently out of college, she probably thought I would be offended. "Thank you for being here. I'm sure you would have much rather spent it with your own family."

As much as I wanted to immediately tell her "NO!!!" I was able to resist. How humiliating it would be to talk about my father. "Mike's family is my family. I feel that way anyway."

"Ohh, how sweet. You really are a keeper, Trent."

I smiled. "Any ideas on what I could get him for Christmas?" I asked her.

She leaned forward. "I was hoping you could help me with that." We both laughed.

The fire crackled causing us both to look. Mike and his father entered the room just in time to hear it. His dad instinctively got fireplace tools to stoke and stab the flames.

His mother offered a glass of wine to Mike, but he said he wanted a second piece of pie. It made me smile. He returned to the living room with a slice of pumpkin pie with a monument of whipped cream. I liked that he sat next to me on the floor.

Mrs. Terry told me several stories of Mike as a child. Finally, he felt he had been humiliated enough and insisted she stop. When she briefly mentioned a moment when Mike was in high school, I wondered if they knew he was one of my high school teachers. They accepted me even though I was younger, but I wasn't sure if they knew our beginnings.

An hour later, we all retired to our rooms. As we crawled into bed, Mike left his boxers on. I slept naked. Despite his hang-up of sleeping naked in his parents' house, I still let my hand reach below the waistband to fondle his dick. He smiled at me before turning out the light.

I held him from behind as we snuggled in the initial chill of the night. My hand still groped his cock within his boxers. He wriggled around a bit pulling them down a foot.

"Are you wanting sex?" I whispered into his ear.

"No. I just wanted to give you easier access," he whispered back.

He was hard as a rock, but we hadn't planned on sex while there. I just kept stroking him in a regular rhythm as we talked.

"Remember Friendsgiving?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"You told me that night that I was what you were thankful for the most."

"And I was going to say it again before we fell asleep."

I rubbed his cock with more strength.

"Well, Michael Terry, I want you to know that this is the greatest year of my life."

"You're 22, babe. You're just getting started."

"I know. But it is the greatest year because you are the biggest part of it. Your family. Our friendships with others. Living together. Every night since Friendsgiving I have said a prayer of thanks for you."

Mike's erection pulsed in my grip.

He rolled onto his back nudging his body over to mine.

"I love you, Trent. Thank you for walking into my room this year. Thank you for trusting me and confiding in me. Thank you for being willing to get through our temporary break. Thank you for falling in love with me. You make me so happy; I can never put it into words."

"Those were pretty good words right there."

I continued to service his cock, at times absent mindedly, as we expressed our thanks to each other.

"I love you, too. You are my world. I think the universe wants us to be together," I said, looking down on him from above. There was enough outside light coming through the window that I could still see his eyes looking into mine.

"Oh?" he softly groaned. "Ungh ... oh, babe."

"I turned down a job that would take me away from you, and then I get promoted at the job I love. It's fate."

"You didn't tell me that."

"I didn't want you to feel guilty. I wasn't tempted for a second. There was nothing in the world that would take me from you. Certainly not just money."

"ungh ... ungh ... oh babe."

"I was wondering. Do they know I was your student several years ago?

"ungh ... Um. No. ... ungh ... Do you think they should?" He breathed harder as I stroked him in our conversation.

"I don't know. I wouldn't lie, but I don't see a reason to tell them. Yet, at least. They like us together. Hopefully they would accept it better than my parents."

"ungh."

"You want to know a secret?" I paused. "I picture us together 60 years from now. Still doing all the wonderful things we do now."

"Want to know my secret?" he said, almost panting.

"What?" I softly told him.

"I'm going to come," he whispered.

"Holy fuck."

I moved my mouth on his rod and stimulated his shaft powerfully. His hips lurched and I felt liquid sprayed into my throat and mouth. Mike kept coming. I kept swallowing.

Mike exhaled deeply, spent from the surprise climax.

I moved up to kiss him deeply. "Happy Thanksgiving," I whispered.

Our tongues shared his cum.

Mike slipped off his underwear. We were both naked. I turned on my side to let him hold me. His arm stretched around me, and his hand reached for my cock. It was lead. I put my hand around his, gripping it tight, and we fell asleep in that position.

 

—

 

The return to work following the holiday weekend was curious. It was nice to see everyone again, but now I had the slight sense of preparing for my new role. Before long, someone would be taking on much of what I was doing. Would I miss it?

As we were airing the 10 o'clock show, I was fielding calls to Ed and Tara. My cell phone buzzed. Normally I wouldn't answer, but it was the theater department at the university. Once I got the show back from the commercial break, Ed and Tara were in dialogue. They suddenly saw me react through the glass. My eyes flashed fireworks to them.

"Good lord!" Tara said on air. "Something has excited, Trent. Trent? Are you okay?"

Within seconds I was on air explaining that my play had been accepted to be The Showcase. Not understanding what all that meant, we wound up taking 10 minutes of the show talking about the March production. They were thrilled for me. Soon, callers were phoning in asking how to get tickets. My head was in a whirl. It was happening so fast.

 

—

 

Following work, I met with the director of the theater department. He let me know the details of my role from this point. I was allowed to be a consultant if I so desired, but the director had the final say. There was paperwork to fill out. But overall, he praised me for "a magnificent piece of work." His words meant a lot.

Lance and Jakob were able to meet Mike and me for dinner in celebration.

"What kind of paperwork?" Mike asked.

"Creative rights, university rights. On the off chance it is bought, the university gets 20 percent if it takes place within a year of the department putting it on."

"Do they ever get bought?"

"On occasion. There are theater groups all over the country. They are always looking for new material. I doubt if anyone will want mine, though."

"I'm just excited to see it," said Jakob. "Congratulations. What an achievement."

"How much do you want to be involved in the next months?" Lance asked.

"I'm not sure. I don't want to be a hovering control freak, but I did envision how I wanted certain scenes staged, so if they are willing to let me consult on those things, I'd be happy with that."

"When do we see it?" Jakob asked.

"Early March," I said. "I do believe there is a cast party following. I'll make sure the three of you are on that list. Surely I can ask for that."

`You must be so freakin' excited, buddy!" Lance said.

"Yes, but a bit scared, too."

"Why?" everyone asked.

"The Brutal Reality has some heavy material."

"But you dealt with it so well," Mike said. He looked at the others. "I've read it. It's brilliant."

I smiled.

"Still. Part of it deals with what I went through with Dad. Tariq's struggles are in there. Zach's emotions. Those people will be in the audience. How will they feel about seeing aspects of their lives on stage? That part scares me a bit."

"Surely we can prepare them beforehand."

"Tell, yes. Prepare? It's hard to watch some of the darkest parts of your life."

"This all sounds so intriguing," Jakob said.

"To be honest, had I known you back then, Jakob, I probably would have wanted to work parts of your life into the script. It's all about the fact that you can't choose your family — only deal with it. Your life would have been perfect for this mix."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll just have to be the sequel: `Jakob's Story.'"

We chuckled.

"No, the title should be `With a K,'" Lance joked, referencing Jakob's shares at the AA meetings where he always clarified the spelling of his name.

As simple as Jakob's joke was, it made the wheels in my head start turning. If I did start writing something new, his life was a tremendous place for source material. I'm not sure I would go down that road, but I had to admit, it inspired me creatively. I loved writing. Maybe if The Brutal Reality was well received, I might actually consider writing another play. I tried not to worry about if it might flop. I'm sure every playwright does.

It's good that rehearsals were in the evening. That would let me pop in when they started. A little. I didn't want to hover.

 

November 30

There is so little space left in this journal. Only enough room for a few last entries.
I felt this one should fit. My play was accepted into The Showcase. I usually feel things
like "I'm happy" or "I'm lucky." I honestly have to say today that I am proud. I worked
hard on that play. Often you pour your soul into a creative outlet and others just don't
see it or don't get it. There was a lot of emotion in that play. I'm glad it was felt worthy.

Tariq, Zach, Dad ... they will have a hard time watching it. That concerns me a little.

This year has been so ... I don't know what to term it. Amazing? Full? Berserk? Graduation, coming out, falling in love, new career, moving in with Mike, my friendship with Lance,
now The Showcase. It's amazing that my brain hasn't imploded. At the same time, I feel
like the most blessed person roaming the planet.

 

—

 

It was officially December. I wasn't sure what Mike did in terms of decorating for the holidays. What was his routine. What traditions did he have?

We sat down to dinner with a simple stir-fry.

"What do you usually do for Christmas?" I asked.

"You're not planning a FriendsChristmas are you?"

I laughed. "No." I continued laughing.

"Well, in the past, I usually go home to my parents. Ethan went with me that year. We went to his family for New Year's. Usually just a day."

"Do you put up a tree?"

"I did in my early 20s. I thought my place needed it. When Ethan and I got the house, we bought a small live tree that year, just to have one here. I have some decorations, but not a ton. I didn't put up a tree last year. No one to buy for and I would be at my parent's house on Christmas Day so ... I thought, `Why bother?' I did put a wreath on the door."

"Oooo. Knocked yourself out, did ya?"

"I wasn't the happy, euphoric Michael you see before you today," he said. "What are your thoughts?"

"I'm pretty open. I'm going to need a tree, though."

"Fine. I can go along with that."

Two hours later we were carrying in a huge box. Thankfully, it only had to hang out of the trunk for a few blocks.

"When you said you needed a tree, I guess you meant right now," Mike laughed as we set it down.

"We were in the mood."

It took us 30 minutes, but we had it all put together. Although bare, it still looked tall and attractive in the living room. It was getting late, and we were tired, so decorating would have to come at a later date.

 

—

 

Two days later we had brought down boxes from the attic. We placed the tree box up in the attic at the same time.

"How on earth did that giant tree fit inside this box? We will never get it back in there," Mike said. I figured we would worry about that in the new year.

The tree was pre-lit. I found all the cords and connections, and he sorted decorations by type and color.

By the end of the evening, we treated ourselves to hot chocolate. We sat on the couch, with only the lights on the tree to illuminate the room. We admired our handiwork.

"Now that we are in this committed relationship, partner ..." Michael paused to give me a kiss. "...what are your thoughts on how to do family?"

"Well, as I'm still not super cozy with Dad, I don't care at all about spending it with them, but I suppose we should make an effort to see them at least at some point. How do you feel?"

"I just have one wish," he said, taking a sip. "I'd like to wake up Christmas morning with you in my arms in our own bed. How would you feel about that?"

"How truly romantic. I love it. What about your family?"

"As I see it, we could do Christmas Eve dinner with your family, stay here that night, and then drive to my parents Christmas afternoon and spend the evening there. Does that work for you?"

"Totally. I love it." I gave him a deep chocolatey kiss. "I love you."

I reclined on the couch, my head resting in Mike's lap. We enjoyed just looking at the lights. I had never thought how challenging it must be for some families to divide up Christmas. Depending how adamant some mothers may get, I could see it being stressful. It sounded like we had it figured out. I grabbed Mike's hand and held it to my chest.

"We splurged quite a bit on Friendsgiving. How about we make a pact to only buy one gift for each other. Save a bit."

"Whatever you would like, babe. You were already my gift for this year."

I squeezed his hand tighter.

"What Christmas traditions do you have?" I asked.

"Other than going to my parents, nothing really."

"Did your family open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?"

"Well, I don't know how it got started, but we would all open one gift on Christmas Eve and then the rest the next morning. I'm sure that's how it worked when Santa came, and we just kept it going."

"How about we start one of our own. Making love under the tree on Christmas Eve and opening presents Christmas morning."

"Hmm. Making love under the tree almost sounds like a stroke of midnight thing on New Year's Eve."

"Nice. However, I was thinking about asking the Owens for the lake house for New Year's Eve. Unless you'd prefer to go out and party somewhere."

"Lord, no. Crowds. I mean, it sounds fun, but once you're in the thick of it, sometimes you just want midnight to arrive just so you can just be done. I think the lake house sounds lovely."

"Of course, you did promise Lance a three-way," I said dryly.

Mike laughed. "Oh yeah."

"Surely now that he is in love with Jakob, he wouldn't want that."

"What if he suggested a four-way?" he asked.

"What, a man orgy at the lake house? Please don't bring it up!"

"Don't worry. I won't. I don't see us doing that. But what was the other bedroom like? Just the four of us enjoying the holiday together might be nice."

I thought on it more and liked the idea.

"Hm. It might be a twin bed, but it could possibly be a full bed. It's definitely not the size that we slept on in the master bedroom. And bunk beds are in there," I remembered.

"If it's a full bed, what would you think about the idea?"

"Inviting them or the four-way?"

He laughed again. But I did pause to wonder if Lance was going to keep us to that agreement. He was so deeply in love with Jakob, surely that couldn't possibly be on his mind. I'm not sure how I would feel about the whole thing. Mike and I were strictly monogamous. It would be weird — at least to me — to bring in others. I wasn't sure I'd be comfortable with that. However, the idea of the four of us spending a couple days together sounded wonderful.

I loved December.

 

* * * *

 

The post for this chapter on the blog is titled "December." Blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com

Email: timothylane414@gmail.com