A day we went to visit the national park of Arthur's Pass. It is an alpine park, with steep mountains cut by deep valleys at whose bottoms run fast torrents. The flora is wonderful, and on the west mountainsides that are the most humid, the valleys are really beautiful and full of evergreen trees.
Sitting on the grass, Graeme asked me to tell him about when I became aware I am gay. So I told him.
Since my childhood I felt always attracted much more to the male figures than the female ones. Physically men seemed to me much more beautiful and attractive than women, and this was much before the sexual stimuli awakened in me.
A day, I was at a classmate's home to study and we were both fourteen years old. We were alone at home. He took out a pornographic magazine that he had bought in secret, with men and women engaging in various sexual activities. It was then that I became aware that I was getting aroused looking at the naked men and not at the naked women as the contrary happened to my mate. I already knew, from hearsay, that there existed homosexual people. In those times the word gay was not yet used in Italy...
That day I clearly understood that I am gay, but this fact didn't hit me at all, I at once accepted that fact and also understood that I would never change it. My classmate told me with a giggle that he got a hard-on... I told him that I got one too, but without telling him that it was for the men in the pictures. He then touched me there... in a short while, we were masturbating each other, going on to look at those pictures.
After that first time we did it together again, and each time we pushed our sexual explorations a little farther, until we also started to give each other head, and finally also to mutually put it in each other's bottom. We were enjoying it. But then he started doing it also with a girl and finally stopped doing it with me, as he preferred doing it with her much better.
I was sixteen when I stopped doing it with my classmate. I started to look around to find other boys with whom I could do it. Amongst classmates the rumour was that the "fags" were gathering in a certain park to fuck, so I started to go there. But I wasn't able to meet anybody, possibly because I could go there only in the day time and on the contrary, as I understood later, the encounters happened only at night...
In summer time, during the school vacations, I started to attend the municipal pool that was not far away from my home. I met there a twenty-one-year-old boy. The first time we met in the shower room, where he and I were alone. We looked at each other, he smiled to me, we started to chat... he was showing a nice hard-on and I was not able to move away my eyes off it. And also my peg gradually hardened and raised its head.
When he noticed it, he smiled, stretched out a hand and touched it, inviting me to touch his tool too... He told me he liked me, he wanted to do something with me... But it was too dangerous to do it there, in any moment somebody could come in. For some times we met there in the pool and also outside, but none of us had a place where we could go to do it, even though both of us were feeling increasingly the desire of doing it.
Then a day he told me that one of his university mates gave him the key of his mansard room, thinking that his friend wanted to take there his girlfriend... So finally we could make love, on a bed. I have to say that I was somewhat disappointed, as that guy was only caring about his own pleasure and so I felt used by him. But I held out, as he was the only one with whom I could do it, and anyway he had a nice body.
He then led me to a gay bar where he introduced me to other people. So I knew a twenty-six years old boy from Genoa and another from Novara, who was twenty-four. I felt attracted to them at once, but anyway I didn't fall in love with any of them. The boy from Genoa came often in my town for his work, so we met, went together at the bar, or for a walk, at the movies... When we went to the movies in the morning, the theatre was almost empty, so we were going to sit on the gallery, at the last rows, and there we were able to do something, just opening our trousers... Even if somebody came there, we would see him in time to tidy ourselves.
But with that boy from Genoa it didn't last long. He liked me a lot, but it was not possible to go on meeting so in hiding and quickly, our eyes all the time on the heavy velvet curtains that were the access to the lower part of the gallery... So at last we stopped meeting.
With Paolo, the boy from Novara, it went better. He too attended the university, and he had rented a room with two university mates. So at times he could take me there, when he knew that the other two were not at home. His mates knew he was gay, therefore there was no problem. Anyway we always shut ourselves inside, so that if one of his mates was back he wouldn't have caught us in the middle of the action. We went into their bedroom, undressed ourselves then went on the bed of Paolo and started to make love.
He liked both being a top and a bottom, and this suited me. The only problem with him was that, besides when we met to have a good fuck, we didn't have any other moments in common. So after some time I got tired of him too. In fact what I was looking for was... love and not just sex.
Love has always been rather important in my vision of life and while I was growing up, it was rather becoming increasingly important. Moreover I like guys rather tall, with an athletic body but not too muscular, swollen in a gym, and guys who have a rather manly but gentle aspect... and I like boys with a good sense of humour and an healthy joyfulness.
We were not in love, and I knew that he was not faithful to me... so I decided then I neither was bound to be faithful to him, and started again to look around. I so began to have other meetings, some were just a one time fuck, others were more lasting.
After that boy from Novara graduated and went back to live in his hometown, I met the first boy with whom I really fell in love. He was twenty-three years old, his name was Marcello and he worked as a sales representative for bathing products - soap, bath gel, shampooing... He was touring with a van which always smelled of bathing gel. Not unpleasant.
In the back of his van he had a foldable beach bed in synthetic foam. We parked somewhere, closed ourselves in it, opened the mattress, undressed and made love in there. I liked the thought that there were passers-by outside, unaware that a few centimetres from them two naked boys were making love.
I was saying that I fell in love with him, and also he for me. At times he came to wait for me out of my school. I got in his van, he drove for some time to find a quiet place to park; then we went on the back part of the van that was separated from the two front seats only by a curtain. We liked to slowly undress each other while caressing, kissing, licking each other here and there until we both were fully aroused and horny.
He liked to take me the first, made me go on all fours then hammered in me with a will. He came fast - he usually was so excited that in a few minutes he reached the orgasm. Then it was my turn to take him. I liked it better when he lay on his back and raised his legs, because I liked to look at his face while I was taking him. And it was taking to me some more time than he did to reach an orgasm. Even though our way of making love was something of a routine, I liked doing it with him as a whole.
Also because afterwards we lay down for some time, embraced and cuddled each other whispered silly things, but that increased our intimacy. When it was cold, in those moments of passion we didn't feel any of that cold weather, but after making love, he spread on top of us a soft and warm woollen blanket and for some time we remained curled under it.
But then Marcello found a good job in France, so he went away. After him, I had some more stories back in Italy, as well as in Japan, but nothing really lasted and really satisfied one hundred per cent... unlike what had started between Graeme and me...
Graeme asked me, "Do you think it's important to be faithful, when you're with some one and in love?"
"I think it is. I don't mean so much as just physical fidelity, but that of the heart. One could possibly even have a small adventure, even though it can be dangerous because it can put in a crisis the love one feels for his companion. And what about you? Do you think it is necessary to be faithful?"
"I think it is... even though I agree with you. If an adventure hits you in a peculiar way, if you feel 'too much' attracted to the other, be it physically or for his character, the fidelity asks you to cease at once that new relation. Moreover... I would be upset if my lover went with another man when I was there... But possibly it would not be the case, if we were far away from each other, for a long time..."
"I think that if one is really in love with his mate, he can't even become aware of the existence of other boys. I mean, of course one cannot avoid noticing a handsome and likeable boy, he cannot help appreciating him, but I think that he can't even just imagine having him in his bed. Fidelity is not something one has to impose to himself, but something that comes spontaneously from the heart..." I told him.
"Agreed. And you, what do you look for, in a lover?"
"Do you see, Graeme, not only good sex, but also and above all respect, friendship, absolute sincerity, patience, availability... all qualities that I feel you possess... and this is why I am so in love with you..." I said tenderly caressing his hand and looking into his eyes.
"And the desire to journey their lives together, to build their lives as one, and to adapt to the other little by little... I think if a couple lives together long enough for years, the two would come to increasingly resemble each other in every way... don't you think?"
"Yes, although each of them remains himself. A diversity that growingly becomes complementarity, I think."
"You're right... And each of the two has to go towards the other one, and not trying to change the other one."
Yes, we had the same vision and this filled me with joy. But we would have soon to part and this filled me with sadness. To break that painful feeling of helplessness and sadness, we stood up and started to walk, in silence, hand in hand, climbing up, out of the track, through the wood.
We were walking in silence, when Graeme squeezed my hand, stopped and made me stop. He made me sign to keep silent and I followed the direction of his eyes, while he moved to the side as I followed him. When we got behind a thicket of bushes I had just the time to see what attracted his attention.
Just a little lower than where we were, there were two boys, possibly both eighteen years old. They both had their trousers lowered to their hips and the T-shirt raised to their chests. They were standing, one of them wearing a blue T-shirt and leaning against a tree, and the other one embracing him, brushing against him and kissing him on the mouth. Near to them on the ground were two small black excursion rucksacks, identical, that kind that the boys of their age use also when they go to school to carry their books.
I am not a voyeur, but it was good to look at those two boys, and looking at them I got aroused. Then the boy in front of the one leaning with his shoulders against the tree, crouched down and started to lick and kiss the beautiful hard pole of his companion, who also leaned his head against the tree and closed his eyes, evidently enjoying the treatment that his companion was lavishing on him.
The boy who was crouching down, and who was wearing a red t-shirt, raised his hands to tease the nipples of his mate, then made the nice hard pole of his companion slip entirely inside his mouth, and started to bob his head back and forth. His thick and soft hair, blond like ripe wheat, were lightly waving with each movement of his head.
It was a really beautiful scene, there amidst the nature, where the sunrays filtered between the trees' branches creating a suggestive pattern of shadows and light. The boy leaning against the three was caressing the head and shoulders of his companion. All was happening in an enchanted silence, broken only by the birds' calls and by the murmur of a not-far-away torrent that was running in a set of small falls.
I looked at Graeme and saw that he was engrossed by the scene we were looking at, and that a light smile with a tender shadow was fluttering on his beautiful face. I caught his attention by touching him on the shoulder. He turned towards me and smiled. I approached my head to his and kissed him on the mouth; he returned his kiss with heat and passion. With a hand I went down to caress him between his legs and with pleasure felt that he too had a good hard-on.
We again looked towards the two boys. The one in the red T-shirt, still crouching on the ground, was going on to suck the pole of his companion. It was nice seeing that beautiful pole of firm flesh disappear and reappear between the lips of that boy. Each time he pushed forwards his head, he pushed his nose towards the dark and thick hair of his companion's groin, and slightly shook his head left and right. His companion emitted faint moans that we could barely hear. The scene was highly erotic.
Then they parted, said something to each other in a low voice - we could hear their voice but could not figure out the words - and then swapped their positions; and this time the boy with the blue T-shirt crouched in front of his companion who leaned against the tree, and started to give him head with the same devotion.
Graeme whispered at my ear, "They are beautiful, aren't they?"
"Yes, beautiful and tender..." I agreed in a low voice.
"Which one do you like better?" Graeme asked again in a whisper.
"I don't know... possibly the one wearing the blue T-shirt and with dark hair."
"Yes, I too. But also the other one is handsome, isn't he?"
"Yes..." I answered him and signalled him to be silent.
We started again to watch the two boys. The one crouching down stood up, and they were now hugging and kissing, the hands of both on the buttocks of the other, their bodies close and brushing with clear passion and pleasure. I asked myself if they were just two occasional partners amusing themselves or if they were lovers... who knows?
Suddenly, coming from who knows where, a man in his forty, big and muscular, was near the two boys. He was wearing a shirt of red and black plaid pattern, jeans and boots, and he had an axe on his shoulder. We heard his loud and low voice.
"Hey, you two little faggots, where the fuck do you think you are? At your home?" he said.
The two boys hurriedly parted and tried to pull up their trousers, but the man stopped them with a brusque gesture.
"Freeze there, if you don't want troubles." he brusquely ordered.
The two boys were looking at him, more worried than scared. One of them looked around, possibly looking for a way ro escape.
That man drew closer to them, "So, you like sucking cocks, I saw that... and possibly also taking it in your arses, don't you?" he asked in a sarcastic tone.
The two boys didn't yet utter a word.
The man then said, "What's the matter, your toungues too sore after sucking each other? Answer me, little faggots, do you like to take it in your arse, too?"
"Leave us in peace, please..." the boy with the red T-shirt said, but not in a begging tone.
"Oh no, don't you use that tone with me, little pansy. Turn around and made me see your small arse, go on, little whore!"
"Leave us in peace." the boy repeated and bent down to pull up his trousers.
But the man rudely seized his arm and jerked him, "I told you to turn around, you piece of shit!" he yelled. "And you," he said to the other boy, "now you open my fly, pull out my cock, wet it with your mouth; then I'll fuck your boyfriend." he said in an authoritative tone.
"Go fuck yourself!" the boy with the blue T-shirt answered him.
The man let go the other, and menacingly raised his axe.
At that point Graeme and I looked at each other, and hurriedly went out of our hiding place and went down decidedly towards the trio. When we were close to them, all three became aware of us. The man lowered his axe and looked at us with harshness.
"What the fuck do you want, you two?" he asked, menacingly.
Graeme spoke, "We are journalists," he invented and pointed at the Nikon camera I had at my neck, "and we saw and took pictures of all the scene. Now, either you leave immediately these two boys alone and go away, running, or we report you." he said in a determined tone.
"But these two were doing filthy things here in the park... and I am an employee of the Conservation Department, and..."
"And you wanted to take advandtage of them! Do you want a report for menaces?"
"I can report them for..."
"No, because you will have the witness of four people against yours, and there are also the pictures we took, in which you used your axe against them... it is you who will end up in jail, I can assure you, not these two boys. Now hurry and go away and don't show here any more!" Graeme insisted in a hard tone.
The man frowned at us, leaned the axe on his shoulder again and went down the valley at a fast pace, without adding any more words and without turning back. Finally the two boys pulled up their trousers and tidied themselves up.
Then the boy with the blue T-shirt, looked at us and said, "Thank you... you came just in time... that man wanted to rape us..."
"Yes, we were aware or that. We've been watching you two for some time." Graeme said with a smile.
The boy wearing the red T-shirt commented, "Then... you saw everything..." and blushed.
"Well, yes, we saw enough... and we thought that you were really beautiful, while you guys were making love."
"You don't... you don't judge us as two perverts, then?" asked again the boy with the red T-shirt.
"We? No, because we like doing the same kind of things too... We're both gay, boys. So, no worries." Graeme explained with a smile.
"Well, we've been lucky, then!" the boy with the blue T-shirt said with an audible sight and for the first time he hinted a smile.
We introduced ourselves. The blond boy was Keith and was eighteen years old, his companion was Arden and was seventeen. They told us their story. Both of them lived in Greymouth, a few blocks away from each other. They were schoolmates and they were lovers for two years. It had been Arden who seduced Keith, assiduously courting him for almost six months.
Arden saw Keith at the school entrance and at once was hit by him, felt incredibly attracted to him. Arden was already aware of his being gay, but he didn't yet have any sexual experience with anybody, not even the mutual masturbation with a mate. But he at once fell in love with Keith and decided to conquer him.
Both of them were fond of rugby and so they became friends. They started to go to watch the matches together, and Arden became a member of the school rugby team where Keith was already playing. A day, after the training, Keith invited Arden to his home to show him his collection of autographed pictures of the players of the national team. At his home, there was nobody else. They were looking at the pictures, lying on their belly on Keith's bed, when Arden suddenly embraced his companion and kissed him on the mouth.
Keith at first was so astounded that he stiffened... but then he finally returned his kisses. Then Arden told him he was in love with him and that he wanted to become his boyfriend, the first one with whom to make love.
Keith also knew he was gay, and he had already had a few experiences with two team mates who weren't gay, but who had sex with him just to relieve themselves, even though they didn't despise him for being gay. But Keith never had experience with another gay boy before, and even less with somebody telling him he was love with him, and not just wanting to have a fuck.
So they made love that first day, and gradually Keith also fell in love with Arden. But apart from that first time, the two boys were almost never alone at home therefore they had difficulty meeting to make love with the necessary privacy. They were fitting very well together, and their families didn't suspect a thing about the real nature of their friendship, and they even saw their assembling with a good eye. But the two boys were feeling the natural need to show each other their love physically as well.
So they started to do excursions and when they could find a sufficiently remote place, they granted themselves some moments of tender intimacy, like that day when we first saw them - and also the woodsman... In the cold months they were unable to have such opportunities as frequently. At times they were lucky and making excursions in the mountains they could find an alpine refuge and if there was nobody else they could quietly make love.
They were longing for the day when Arden also came of age, when they could leave their houses and live together, even at the price of ceasing their studies and having to find a job to be able to support themselves. Their families, in fact, mainly that of Arden, would react badly at the news that they were gay and loved each other and wanted to live together.
Keith's father was a doctor, the owner of a private clinic and his mother was also a doctor. He had two brothers and a sister. Arden's father was the owner of a liqueur shop and his mother was a housewife. Arden had only an elder sister, who was about to get married.
They asked us if we were really reporters and if I really took the pictures... Graeme laughed and told them that neither of the two things we said was true, he just made up everything to scare that man, and luckily he did it. The two boys also laughed and thanked us again. Then they wanted to know our story and we told them it.
"You are even more unlucky than us, then!" Keith said, sympathizing with us.
"But at least during these days we can make love safely in his hotel room." Graeme told them and added, "You have to content yourself with whatever life has to offer..."
The two boys then asked us if we could take some pictures of them, of course with their clothes on, and they also wanted to take pictures of us. Keith gave Graeme his address, asking him to send the pictures, both those of them and those of us.
"I hope we can stay in touch, at least through mail. Do you have an e-mail address, you two?" Arden asked.
"I have it in Japan. Graeme not yet. Anyway, I too would like to stay in touch with you two." I said.
"Will you write us from Japan? Possibly on one of those beautiful cards they make there... Once I saw a couple of them and they are really beautiful." Arden then asked me.
"I promise. And at times we will also exchange some e-mails, all right?" I said.
We went together down to the Arthur's Pas houses, where they left their motorbikes and we left the car, and I invited them to have a meal with us before saying goodbye.
At the lunch table, we chatted like old friends - the two boys were really likable, two honest and gentle boys, and with a huge vein of cheerfulness. Arden was physically a little less handsome than his boyfriend, but he had a beautiful smile, and splendid teeth and eyes. Keith was really attractive. Possibly Keith had a character gentler than Arden's, who was anyway very kind.
We said goodbye and we went back towards Christchurch, while the two boys were going to Greymouth. Along the way Graeme and I talked again about those two boys, exchanging our impressions of them. We both were moved by the story of the two boys and also happy we had been able, thanks to Graeme stratagem, to free them from a bad situation.
In the following days we went at the Court Theatre to see the comedy "The importance of being Earnest" and we enjoyed it a lot, even though I did not get all the quips. Anyway, Graeme complimented me for the good level of my English.
Then we went also to Akaroa, where we landed a ship that made the tour of the shores, and on which we also had our lunch. The guide was a funny boy, about twenty-five years old, slightly chubby and with a likable face, who was constantly making witticisms, but since many were related to local facts I could appreciate only some of them, but everybody was laughing... also Graeme, and I loved looking at him laughing carefreely and merrily. During that trip we asked some other tourists if they could take some pictures of us.
Yes, the more we got together, the more I liked that boy, and not only for his physical beauty, and not only for the wonderful way he made love with me when at evening we were back to my hotel room - he had a zest for life that agreeably contrasted with the serious and thoughtful expression I saw he had when I saw him the first and the second time at the McDonald's.
That day seemed already so far away, while on the contrary the day of my departure was nearing.
Then an evening Graeme took me to the gay bar "Buddies" in Lichefield Street. The ambience was quite likable and Graeme knew many of its customers. He introduced me to his acquaintances and we chatted all the evening long. Later, when we decided to go back to the hotel, one of the boys who was sitting at our table, came close to me.
"I would like to meet you again, Sergio... I never did it with an Italian man." he said clear and outspoken.
"No way, Harvey, Sergio is mine!" Graeme exclaimed, looking at me with a smile.
"Well... I could borrow him from you just for one night... aren't we friends?" that boy retorted.
"No no, in this case we are anything but friends. I'm sorry, Harvey, but you have to give up on Sergio." Graeme insisted.
When we were out on the street, I said to him in a joking tone, "How did you dare to decide for me? What if I wanted to have Harvey in my bed?"
Graeme looked at me, at first amazed, and then hurt, "I didn't think ... I'm sorry... if you want to go back..." he almost stammered.
I bursted into laughter, "Oh, Graeme! I was just pulling your leg. I am not at all interested in that boy, I swear, as long as I have you. If you didn't answer him so, I would have told him the same thing. Didn't you think I was serious, did you?"
Graeme looked at me seriously, but then smiled "I was being silly, wan't I? Yes, I thought you were serious... and I felt bad, frankly..."
"I am sorry, my love. I didn't intend to hurt you. Really." I said, moved, and absolutely not caring that we were in the street, I hugged him.
We parted almost at once, but Graeme was again serene.
Going towards the car, I asked him, "Do you forgive me, my love?"
He looked at me with a mischievous and provokative smile, "I will see... you know what you have to do, as soon as we're in the room, don't you?"
"Of course I know. You will see, I will make you forget this stupid accident. I really love you, Graeme; I would never have done such a thing to you. Not even if I were alone in that bar, not even if you didn't come to know about it."
"But when we are far away from each other... if you meet a nice boy... you can also take him in your bed, if you want." he said almost in a whisper.
"I don't know... but I don't think so. I am too much in love with you."
"Yes, but after some time... being so far apart... after all we are flesh and blood, and the desire is something natural..."
"Listen carefully, Graeme. I can't swear it will never happen, who of us knows the future? But according to how I am feeling now, I have no intention for it to happen, I can assure you. Absolutely no intention."
"But if it happened... will you tell me? Will you be totally sincere with me... even if we are far apart? And possibly a day you can fall in love with somebody else... I... If you will tell me about it... I will understand, and I will also be glad for you, as I can't be yours like I would like to... as I can't make you happy like I would like to..."
"I don't know, but if it happened, be it an adventure or something more serious, you will be the first one to know about it, Graeme, I swear!"
"Good. And the same for me. I too think it will be difficult for me to feel attracted to another man, now that I've met you... But life is long and... who knows? But I will write you all - how I feel, what I think, all that happens to me... and you too will always be the first to know about it, if something should happen."
That night we again made love with all the intensity and the passion as the first times we did, as if to reaffirm each other our mutual love, as if to seal the promise we just made to each other.