The day of my departure was relentlessly approaching. It even seemed faster. We were feeling time slip away like a handful of sand too dry and fine to be kept in our hands. The more the time remaining thinned and the more we psychologically clung to each other, almost as if this could prevent our imminent separation.
During the night I was waking up more and more often, and filled my eyes with the vision of his beautiful shapes, hoping to imprint indelible in my memory his image. My god, how beautiful he was! I asked myself if his beauty was only the product of my love and desire or if it was objective, if everybody would find him as beautiful as I saw him... But after all, this was not so important - loving eyes anyway see things that normal eyes cannot see but are really there.
And finally came the day of my departure. The night before we were unable to sleep, neither I nor he, and we made love with sweet abandon, savouring every single moment that we knew was part of the last chance to share that sweet and wonderful intimacy, not only of out bodies, but also of our hearts, and of our souls.
The pale sun of that mild winter reappeared and lightened the room and the bed on which we were still united, caressing our naked bodies, tightly intertwined. While I was moving with sweet passion inside him, a sunray faintly shined on his hair and eyes, and his beauty moved me so much I poured tears that fell on his body.
"Graeme..." I murmured almost like it was an invocation, filling that only word with all the intensity of my emotion.
"Sergio..." he echoed me with the same emotion and caressed my cheek, pushing himself against me to be penetrated deeper, and to better feel my presence inside him.
"Oh, Graeme, why..." I started saying, feeling a knot in my throat and my heart beat stronger.
"Shush!" he said putting a finger on my lips and smiling to me, "Don't think about anything else, now. Just take me, enjoy in me, made me enjoy with you, make me feel that I'm yours!" he whispered with incredible sweetness.
I restarted moving inside him with passionate vigour and tender sweetness, trying to make him feel with all my body how important he was to me.
His fingers clawed with light vigour on my back while he moved under me savouring the last ecstasy that I was giving him and that he was giving me, and the silence spoke on our behalf, until we both started to pant with increasing force and speed; and finally we unloaded reaching the peak of pleasure - I deeply embedded into him and he between our compressed bellies.
I slowly relaxed on him. Our lips met and out tongues played for some time, with tender gentleness.
"I would like to not have to go..."I said.
"I'd like to steal you and to hide you in my heart..."
"I would like to kidnap you and to take you with me..."
"Don't you know that smuggling us New Zealander boys is severely punished by the law?" he said with sad irony.
"I could call Tokyo and tell them I felt ill... That I couldn't yet go back..." I suggested.
"We would just postpone the unavoidable, sweetheart. We would only lengthen the agony of these last days..." he murmured tenderly caressing my cheek.
"The agony of these last days..." I murmured in turn echoing his words and becoming aware that, in spite of myself, he was right, "My god, how much I love you!" I then whispered, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.
"I know... I feel it... I too love you as much as I never could have believed one could... and it feels like I'm dying at the thought that in a few hours I have to see you at the airport... that a plane will take you away from me, so fast, too soon... and a part of my heart will flew away with you."
"Graeme..." I moaned.
Without uttering any more words, we got up; in silence we washed. I finished preparing my suitcase, then while Graeme was going to give back to the agency the car I had rented, I went to the reception to settle the bills and to ask them to call a taxi to take me to the airport. Then, with my suitcase, I went out of the gate of the hotel to wait for Graeme, who came after a few minutes, and soon after him came also the taxi.
We got in. Sitting on the back seats as close as possible, Graeme took my hands between his hands and tried to smile to me, doing his best to hide the intensity of his sadness.
"Will you write to me? As soon as I settle down I'll send you my address..."
"But before that, will you call me? You can do a call charged on me, as I explained to you."
"And as soon as you can, will you come here again?"
"Of course, as soon as I have some free days. But there will not be a long weekend before the "Golden Week", which is the week of vacation that the Japanese have between April and May... Almost four months to go... unhappily."
He noticed that I was looking often at my wristwatch.
"We have all the time, don't worry." he said.
"I know. I was just checking how much time we still have to be together."
Sadness was weighing on us like a lead cape, even though we both futilely tried not to show it.
The taxi reached the airport. We got off. I paid for it. We went in and I did the check in. Graeme wanted to carry my hand luggage.
"We have still a little hour... would you came to have a cup of coffee?" I proposed.
"Even though they don't do it well here like in Italy?" he asked me, refering to what I told him a few days ago.
"When you get a job and some money, would you like to come with me to Italy to spend our vacations together?" I then asked him.
"Possibly... To finally taste that fabulous Italian espresso which you are so proud of..." he jested.
"I hope you can find soon a job..." I said, thoughtfully, "A good one."
"Yes... And so possibly I can come to Japan to meet you... if you want me there..."
"It would be wonderful. My place in Japan is small, but there will always be enough room for you."
"We will be crowded, not bad at all; I like being crowded... with you."
We were trying to "chat" about trivial things, to reduce the tension, but our hearts were silently crying.
"There in Tokyo..." Graeme started saying.
I looked at him waiting for him to go on.
"There in Tokyo," he resumed saying, "amongst your students, there are some that you like?" he finally asked me.
"Yes, but I would never try with one of my students... and even less now, you know it."
"I know." he simply answered, with a sweet smile that barely hid his sadness.
He then put a hand in his pocket and took out a bone pendant tied with a leather string, a delightful piece of Maori handicrafts, and gave it to me.
"They say it is a lucky charm... I have it since I was fourteen... Take it, take it with you... and think of me." he said.
"I don't need it to think of you, but I'll take it willingly. Each time my fingers brush it, it will be as if I caressed you." I said, then added, "But what can I leave you, so that you too can caress me?"
He looked at me with the mischievous air with which at times he looked at me, rummaged again in his pocket and took out something, closed in his hand, "I stole from you this..." he whispered.
"What?" I asked curious.
He opened his fist and I saw on the palm of his hand an Italian coin of fifty liras.
"That's all?" I asked, somewhat astounded.
"I noticed that on this side it represents a beautiful naked man... he is not as beautiful as you, but it will made me think of you, of your body... and of all the times we made love... and I will brush it with my fingertips, dreaming I'm caressing you."
I smiled, moved.
"Dreaming..." he went on, "about the day when I will be able to really caress your body with my fingers again... to arouse you... until you take me again and take me to heaven with you..." His voice broke and a tear shone at the corner of his eye.
The loudspeaker emitted two notes and a voice softly announced that boarding for my flight had started.
"I have to go, my love..." I moaned.
"Yes... Have a good flight... I will go up on the terrace to look at the plane that will take you away... from New Zealand... but not from my heart."
Now his tears were freely dripping on his beautiful face, damping his cheeks.
We hugged at tightly as we could, then Graeme kissed me on the mouth. In that moment I would have liked to gamble it all and tell everyone I was not going, that I was staying there, with my Graeme, with my lover... But I knew it was impossible. We parted. He gave me my hand luggage and I passed through the control gate that he could not pass. I turned to look at him for a last time, then with a fast pace I took the corridor leading me to the boarding gate. I could no longer hold back my tears, and finally I too cried, while the hostess was asking me to show the embarkation card.
"Are you all right, sir?" the girl asked, solicitously.
"No... it's nothing... just too painful a separation..." I murmured and at a fast pace entered the boarding tunnel leading me into the middle of the waiting plane.
As I had requested it, my seat was on the window side. I settled myself dwon and looked outside - I could not see the terrace where I knew Graeme was quickly going to to see for the last moment the plane that would take me away from him. I couldn't even see clearly what was outside the window, so much was my sight blurred by the tears that filled my eyes.
The noise of the door that was closed seemed to me a thud, almost like the stone slab entrance of a crypt that shut itself inside my heart. The plane started to moved, turned slowly and went onto the runway. I finally saw the terrace - there were only three people on it, and I at once singled out the slender figure of my Graeme. He was waving his arms in a last goodbye, even though he could not be certain if I could see him. And I couldn't answer back to him, but pushing my face against the transparent Plexiglas surface, my eyes staring at that figure that was rapidly becoming smaller... until I was no longer able to see him.
But I knew he was still there and would remain there, to look at the plane, to wave his farewell to me, until the plane totally disappeared from his sight amongst the clouds that were veiling the winter sky of Christchurch...
The plane took off and went far away, inexorably. I felt as if I could physically feel the miles flowing through my body, piercing my heart, as they were taking me away from Graeme. I let go of myself and leaned against the seat back, closing my eyes, almost like a scared little child who, by closing his eyes, deceives himself into believing that he became invisible, to shelter himself from all the bad things of life, from dangers and the menaces he fears could be surrounding him...
In Tokyo, in the other hemisphere, it was summer and the humid and hot Japanese weather wrapped me at once, but less unbearable than I feared. By the city train I reached Shinjuku station and from there, by taxi, I went back home. I had always loved my small apartment in its traditional Japanese style, with the tatami on the floor and the sliding doors, but that day it seemed to me almost alien, since there wasn't my Graeme.
I resumed my life - teaching at the Todai, the prestigious Tokyo University, some hours of research in the well supplied libraries of the University, the hours to prepare my lessons or the publication I was preparing... and all the while, Graeme was always near me, in my heart. At times I brushed the pendant he gave me at the airport and that always hung at my neck, and at home I looked at the beautiful reddish wood bas-relief representing Tütänekai and Tiki, and wondered what could my Graeme be doing at that moment.
He called me already the morning after my arrival... How wonderful, hearing again his voice! In the following days he made me know he found another small room for rent, and that, finally, he also got a job. He had been hired as a clerk in the personnel office at the Canterbury University in Christchurch. I sent him an e-mail telling him that, now that he had a regular salary, he could also look for a small flat for himself alone, but he answered me he preferred to stay in the small room so he could save money and be able to come to Japan to meet me.
He was missing me very much, and I too was missing him a lot. As he had just been hired, Graeme could not ask for vacations or leaves yet, and I too couldn't do it, as I could not find in the department of foreign languages anyone to take my place and teach Italian language and literature for me. Therefore we could do nothing but wait for the four months to elapse and the so-much-longed-for "Golden Week" to come, which is the week of vacation that the Japanese have between April and May.
In the faculty I had a colleague, the professor of German language and literature, a young man from Schwenfurt, a small town at mid way between Frankfurt and Nurnberg. He was in my opinion not only decidedly sexy, but also a really likeable person. In the past I often thought that it was a pity he was not gay too, and that he married a Japanese girl. But now I was no longer interested in him in this respect.
His name was Henny Hans Meyer, and we soon became friends, so that he was the only one in our faculty who knew I was gay. I therefore could confide with him, telling him my meeting with Graeme and how much I was now missing him. Henny at once shoved to be ready to listen to me, as I expected him to, ready to listen and to give me the kind of moral support that one could expect from a true friend.
Henny asked me if Graeme would be willing to move to Japan to live with me, or I to New Zealand to live with him. I answered him that, at least on a theoretical level, both possibilities could be taken into consideration. In fact I was not only sure that Graeme would willingly come to live in Japan, bit I also would move without any problem to New Zealand.
The only problem was that as Graeme had just graduated in the legal-administrative field. He would find not easily a job in Japan, and that I knew that in the Canterbury University there was no course of Italian language that I could teach... Anyway in the first e-mail I sent to Graeme I told him about what I had discussed with Henny, and told him we could try to see if there was a possibility, at least for one of us, to find a job where the other was and to move there to live together.
As I expected, Graeme answered me that he, to be able to live with me, would accept any kind of job, even the most humble ones. But for a foreigner it is almost impossible to get a non-specialised job in Japan - their laws about immigration are really strict and severe.
In the many private schools of foreign languages there were in Tokyo, it would have been sufficient to be a native speaker with a university graduation to be allowed to teach the language. But at the moment, even though I toured and asked everywhere, it seemed that none of them needed an English teacher - the number of young Americans in Tokyo was more than sufficient to cover all the available posts. Moreover no school would hire him without having first interviewed him in person there in Tokyo, and then, when a job became vacant, they would call him... In short, it was really difficult.
I too was ready to do any kind of job in New Zealand, but despite that there the immigration laws were less severe than in Japan, but neither seemed Graeme able to hunt a job for me. I think that I had never "hated" the boundaries between nations and the laws about immigration like this before! How far away in time was when Marco Polo could travel from Italy to China through lands and nations, without having to worry about laws, passports and so on? Unfortunately...
The months passed and finally came the much-longed-for "Golden Week", so I could fly back to Graeme. In New Zealand it was the beginning of Autumn and all the nature was wonderful with all its nuances of colours changing from yellow to green, from rust to red according to the trees. But even the more wonderful it seemed to me was the wide and luminous smile of Graeme when in the airport he saw me come out of the arrival gate.
He ran to meet me and hugged me with such impetuosity that made drop all my few luggages on the floor. I returned my embrace and I felt, with pleasure, that he was already aroused for the simple fact he finally had me again in his arms.
"How are you?" he was going on asking me with tender attention.
"Really well, now that I'm with you."
"You missed me..."
"And not just a little, my love. I was longing to get here. It seemed to me almost as if the plane wasn't flying fast enough."
"We must enjoy this week... even though it's a pitty it's not a holiday in here. But at least the evenings and all the Saturday and Sunday will be completely for us."
He wanted to carry my luggage. Outside the airport he took me to his car - he got an old second-hand blue Daewoo at a really low price. While he was driving towards his place, he told me that he got the landlord's permission to have me stay there for that week.
"I have a queen size bed. We will not be too squeezed. The room is really small, but I have there all I that I need. And the landlord as well as the other five lodgers are not nosy people - as long as we don't raise problems, he let us do what we want. Moreover..."
The flow of words he was pouring on me while he was driving in the city's traffic showed me more than clearly how very excited and happy he was to have me again there with him. I looked at him, smiling, admiring his beautiful profile, and feeling more and more in love with him.
As soon as we were in his room -- I didn't even have the time to look around that -- just as he shut the door, we were at once in each other's arms, glued together, feeling our lover's erection. We deeply kissed with all the passion that built up in those four months of separation. It was so good being in his arms, keeping him tightly against me...
We undressed each other with feverish hands. I then gently pushed him on his bed and went on top of him.
"Do you want me?" he asked in an excited murmur.
"What do you think?" I asked, smiling at him and brushing my erection against his.
"Mmmhhh..." he moaned and again pulled me to himself and deeply kissed me on the mouth. Then, parting a little from me, he asked, "Take me, go on!"
"We have all the time..."
"Too little. It's only less than a week. And I waited too long. Take me..." he begged spreading his legs and girdling with them my waist, and offered himself to me with such an impatient face.
I rested my knees at the sides of his hips and he lowered a hand to lead my rod onto the target. I pushed forward my pelvis and the tip of my hard pole already wrapped in a condom, reached the tender rosebud of palpitating flesh of his love hole. He pushed against me - I felt he was relaxed, soft, ready to welcome me inside him, and I started to slip inside him.
"Yes..." Graeme murmured letting out a light but long sigh.
I felt I was sinking inside his soft and hot channel, and while the pleasure was beginning to raise in me, I saw his smile accentuate and become brighter.
"Yes..." he murmured again caressing my back which was arched at the light and agreeable effort of the penetration.
It was really something sublime, feeling much desired and welcomed, so totally absorbed in that much-longed-for union. It was really a fantastic feeling that it was again happening the so long time yearned for union of our bodies and, thank to that same physical act, also of our souls. It was incredibly beautiful seeing how much the joy was making shine his eyes, that were like two precious stones overflowing with love.
And exactly while I was thinking of the word "love", Graeme sighed those two simple words but full of magic, "My love!"
"My love!" he repeated in a whisper while I was starting to move inside him with controlled passion, with virile energy and sweet tenderness all at once.
"So..." he said, skillfully brushing my nipples that was already hard, knowing how very sensitive I was also in that zone.
I took him, at first with a calm and solemn rhythm, savouring every bits of emotion that was gushing from our union, while he too was evidently enjoying each of my pushes, each of the brushings against his prostate and the pleasure that was too increasing in him, irresistibly. The tiredness of the journey, the hours of the flight, had totally disappeared from me, I was feeling refreshed and young, full of energy in spite of my almost sixty years of age.
Passing my arms under his shoulders and seizing them from below in order to keep him well steady against me, I started to give him more determined and strong strokes, and Graeme again murmured his "yes...", which was full of ecstatic pleasure.
With each of my lunges those four long months of separation and distance, were shortened, annulled, until they totally disappeared, until it was as if the last time we united in our love intercourse had been just a few hours ago and not so many weeks ago.
Graeme was slightly tossing under me, accompanying and exalting each of my movements to give me, and himself at the same time, a growing pleasure. When I felt I was too close to bursting out with enjoyment, I slowed down and bent over to kiss him again with all my passion.
"Are you glad to have me here?" I asked him in a whisper.
"I'm happy to have you in me..." he radiantly answered. "I would like to be able to not let you go away, never again..." he then added.
When the "danger" point was over, I restarted to hammer inside him with renewed energy, and Graeme again beamed his wonderful, luminous smile, making me fully feel how very beautiful it was for him to give himself so totally to me.
The afternoon was gently changing into the evening and from the window came in the Autumn sunrays, increasingly low and gilded, flooding the room with warm light that made even more beautiful our bodies that was united in that dance of pleasue and love. I often had, in the most beautiful moments of my life, the feeling that the entire nature, all the creation, "participated" in my joy of living. And this one was, out of any doubt, the most wonderful moment of my life!
We finally reached the no-return point. Lightly panting, we spurred each other, with our glances, to go beyond that point and let ourselves go into the pleasurable joy of the sensual delight. I pushed as deep as I could inside him and, almost trembling for the emotion, I let flow out of me, in powerful jets, together with my seeds, all my love. Graeme in his turn sprinkled the almost inexistent space between our bellies and chests with his elixir of life, softly moaning for the indescribable intensity of his pleasure.
"Don't pull it out yet..." he almost begged, as he often did after our unions.
"Of course not." I reassured him with tender care.
"My god, how beautiful is it having you here again, Sergio... my Sergio..."
"I love you, you know?"
"I love you, too. I didn't do anything but think of you, in these months. Nothing but waiting for you. Don't you know?" he then said lowering a little his voice tone, "About a month ago one of my colleagues, a really handsome boy, started to court me... assiduously. But when I told him I was already engaged, that I was already yours, and I said he could get nothing from me, he gave up. And while I was telling him I belong to you, I felt such a big pleasure, don't you know..."
"But at the University, they know you are gay?" I asked him slightly astounded.
"Yes, of course. I didn't flaunt it all around, but I didn't hide it. The first time I told it to a girl who works in my office, to make her understand how useless it was for her to make eyes at me. Then I said it also to somebody else... and now everybody knows about it, or almost everybody."
"Without consequences?" I asked him, still somewhat astounded.
"No, no consequence. I am treated exactly like before. And some of my office mates also asked me to show them your picture."
"And they didn't say anything about you being with a stranger, with an aged man? With a guy who has more or less the double your age?" I insisted.
"No, not in that sense. But rather some of them told me that you're a fascinating guy... Well, of course you are, I told them, and not only physically."
"Flatterer!" I said him jokingly.
"No, not at all. I'm just being honest. You really are fascinating. Or else I wouldn't have fallen so easily in your arms, would I? And then, even though from your papers it says that you're about twice my age, actually you have a heart, mind and soul still at least as young as mine. I feel really good with you."
"And I with you. And I don't either feel so much our age difference. I have really been lucky when I decided to come to New Zealand, to visit the other part of the world, the most distant country from where I was born."
"Who would have foreseen it? Two who are born at the antipodes meet, get to know each other and fall in love... all this makes me almost believe in destiny... and the goddess of fortune..."
We had slowly relaxed, parted and we were now lying on our sides, facing each other. Graeme curled against me, while I wrapped him in my arms and legs. His bright eyes often searched for mine, his smile lightened at my loving glances, at times we became silent and kissed, letting our souls directly communicate, telling each other what words cannot say.
On Saturday, we went for lunch at a restaurant just outside Christchurch, where Graeme introduced some of his colleagues of the Canterbury University to me - Janet, a young woman and her husband Sam, Phillip, a boy with his fiancée, Mary Ann, and his gay colleague Dough with his boyfriend Rick.
While, after the lunch, we all were strolling in open air, Janet said to Graeme, "You have been lucky you found such a smart guy like Sergio..."
"Yes, really lucky..." Graeme answered blushing a little.
"And I have been lucky finding my Graeme!" I said, as walking at the side of my lover.
"I don't doubt it," Janet said me with a smile, "just look at how well you two fit together. You really seem to be made for each other."
"No, we don't seem, we are made for each other!" I answered.
"We're really curious to get to know you, since Graeme talked about you so much." then Phillip added.
"Are you disappointed?" I asked, a little coquettish, as it was clear that Graeme's friends liked me.
"Not at all. Graeme was right about you; you really are as he described." Janet said, and Dough nodded in assent.
The "Golden Week" passed even too fast and it came again the day when I had to go back to Japan. This time our separation, even though sad, was less heartrending than the first time. In those days we talked for a long time about the possibility of our union, be it in Japan, or in New Zealand or even in Italy. As far as we are concerned, any place, any nation would be good, as long as we could live together.
Even though we didn't yet find any concrete solution, we both were confident that sooner or later we would be able to realize our dream, and this made our new separation less difficult.
At the time of my departure, notwithstanding the Graeme's insistence on getting a leave, he didn't manage to, be it for a few hours, to see me at the airport, therefore his friend Phillip took me there.
"Keep an eye on Graeme, please..." I asked him before parting.
"Sure, I will. I'm glad to have known you, Sergio. I really hope you two can find a way to live together without having to stand these long separations anymore. I never saw two people so much in love, do you know? It's really a nice thing to see you two together. Graeme is a sunshine, but when he's near you he seems to become... even more radiant."
I was pleased to hear these words from a boy who was not gay, and I told myself that Graeme was lucky to have near him such open-minded people, such true and available friends.
I went back to Tokyo feeling a little lighter than the first time... and even more in love with my Graeme Lynn, my sweet boy born at the antipodes and yet so united with me. I told myself that it would have been beautiful if we could live in Denmark, where also two men can get married and even get the same family name. And this, not to "mimic" the heterosexual couples, but because it is the tangible and explicit sign of how much two people united by love really become one.
Back to the Todai, my colleague and friend, Henny, asked me how it went, making this question preceded by an observation, "You seem ten years younger, Sergio! Even if you didn't tell me, it would be enough to look at your eyes and your face to understand how much you are in love!"
Yes, I too was feeling different, better, stronger and - without narcissism - even more beautiful than ever!