Date: Tue, 18 Jun 2013 16:33:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: Damian <nvtahoeus@yahoo.com>
Subject: Kurt's Tough Choice - Part 2

This is the second of five planned chapters of a fictional story about
Kurt, a young national park worker in Maine who falls for Rob, a co-worker,
and then has to deal with his sudden disappearance.  Kurt's search for Rob
takes him down a convoluted path to self-discovery.  Like most of my past
stories, this is an in-depth romance story with a plot, a limited number of
characters, and more emotions than physical sex.  Sex will be a part of it,
but it's more implied than explicit.  I plan to post subsequent chapters
often, so please check back.  Your feedback as you follow the story would
be greatly appreciated.

No minors were harmed in the writing of this story, but if you are one
please go find something else to do.  Please do not reproduce this story in
any form without the permission of the author.  Thanks.

Damian
nvtahoeus@yahoo.com


KURT'S TOUGH CHOICE


PART 2

On Monday morning I found a note attached to my timecard when I arrived at
work.  It was from the new park office secretary, Marianna.  It simply
said, "Kurt, when you have a moment, please stop by my desk."

Curious as to what she wanted, I went straight there.  As the work crews
had our own employee area, where we clocked in, took lunch breaks, and
changed clothes, I had had no reason to interact directly with Marianna
since she was hired in the spring, before I arrived for the summer.  In
fact, we had not even met.

"Hi, I'm Kurt," I said, approaching her desk.

"Hi, Kurt.  Marianna.  Nice to meet you," she said warmly, offering her
hand.  Her glasses, conservative dress, and pulled-back hair partly
obscured what I imagined would be a beautiful young woman – not that I
was interested, of course.

"I'm afraid things were in a bit of a mess when I started here in April.
Tamara left rather suddenly last fall."

Tamara was the office secretary of the previous summer.  I had heard that
she was terminated shortly after Labor Day when some important park
documents – and even some funds – were unaccounted for at the end of
the summer season.

"I was going through my desk and found something with your name on it
addressed to Rob Hastings, who isn't working here this summer.  I stuck it
in your employee file in April, meaning to ask you about it, but then I
forgot about it until last Friday.  Is this something important?"

I was stunned to see the sealed envelope that apparently still contained
the letter I had written to Rob after his leg injury forced him to leave
the park prematurely last August.  It had never been forwarded!  No wonder
Rob had never written back to me!  I was partly angry about this
development but also partly relieved.  Maybe there was still a chance...

Marianna held the envelope out to me, and I took it, turning it over in my
hand.  Curious, she waited for me to say something.

"Rob got hurt on the job last summer and left the park suddenly.  He and I
were friends.  I asked Tamara for his address, but she said she couldn't
give it to me.  She offered to forward a letter to him, but I guess she
never got around to it."

"I guess not.  I'm so sorry about that.  I could forward it to him now, if
you like, but I don't know if the address I have for him is still current."

"Thanks, but I'll take it back for now.  I need to write an explanation to
Rob about why this was delayed.  I really appreciate you giving this back
to me.  I wondered all winter why he didn't answer me, and now I know."

"Well, you're welcome.  Again, I'm sorry this happened, but I promise to
follow through if you want to send him another one."

"I'll take you up on that," I said with a smile, stuffing the wayward
envelope in my pocket.  "I guess I'd better get to work now.  I'll see you
in a day or two.  Thanks again – I really appreciate this."

"Bye," she said, smiling back.  I had a feeling she knew what the score
was.


For the rest of the work day, my emotions ran the gamut: anger at "that
bitch" Tamara for dropping the ball, relief that the letter had been found
by Marianna, gratefulness that she had been nice enough to save it for me,
hopefulness that I could try again to reconnect with my friend, and anxiety
that he might not respond – and even anxiety that he might.

Could we still blow some life back into what we had last year, or was it
just a summer infatuation that Rob had moved on from?  I certainly hadn't
"moved on."  Rob was the first man that I had ever had strong feelings for,
and there were indications then that he had felt the same way about me.
But that was 11 months ago – almost an eternity in the fickle world of
unfulfilled same-sex attraction.  Could the hormones that brought us close
a year ago rekindle themselves now – if I could even find the guy after
all this time?

I wanted to believe it was possible.  Meeting Riley – Rob's lookalike –
last weekend had certainly "stirred the pot" again and made me relive that
moment in the alleyway when I thought that I was about to experience my
first man-on-man kiss.  Somehow that moment was frozen in time in my memory
bank, and I now had reason to hope that maybe – with a little effort and
a lot of patience – it could be "thawed out" and brought back to life.

That evening I sat down once again – like I had last August – to try
to write something coherent that might possibly generate a positive
response.  This time I managed to do it in one draft.

"Dear Rob," I began.  "I know these letters are likely to come as a bit of
a surprise after all this time.  I say `these' letters because there are
two in this mailing – one that I wrote nearly a year ago, and the one
I'm writing now.  I hope they reach you.

"As the first one will tell you, I'm really glad we met last summer.  I
enjoyed our time together, although it was too short to suit me.  I wanted
us to stay friends, and that's why I wrote to you soon after you left Bar
Harbor because of your injury.  How is your leg now?  Fully healed, I hope.

"I just found out this morning that my first letter never left here.  Last
year's secretary, Tamara, told me she'd forward it to you (after she said
she couldn't give me your address, for some stupid reason – park
regulations, I guess).  Our new secretary found it and gave it back to me
this morning.  She promised that she'd see to it that it really would be
forwarded to you this time.  I may follow her to the post office just to be
sure.  Ha!

"What are you doing this summer?  It would be great if you could come to
Bar Harbor sometime for a visit.  I met another guy here this summer who
looks just like you – well, almost.  I thought he WAS you at first and
then wondered why he gave me the cold shoulder whenever we crossed paths.
I finally confronted him last weekend and found out his name was Riley, not
Rob.  Different person, but the resemblance is uncanny.  Maybe we'll become
friends, too – who knows?  We had a beer or two together last weekend,
like you and I used to do.

"Well, I'm rambling now.  I just hope you can get back to me.  I've missed
you around here.  My address is at the bottom.  Would love to hear from
you.  I'm almost glad things turned out this way, because all this time
I've been thinking that you got my first letter but didn't reply.  To be
honest with you, that hurt, but now I know it was just one of those things
beyond our control.

"Your friend, Kurt"


I took the two letters back to Marianna the next morning in one envelope,
along with a couple of 10-cent stamps in case one wasn't enough for the
extra weight.  She swore she would put it in the mail, addressed to Rob at
the address she had in his file from last summer, and I felt 100 percent
sure that she would do as promised.  She gave me a little wink, which
embarrassed me greatly, but I smiled and thanked her.

Work seemed a little less onerous the rest of the week.  I once again had a
glimmer of hope that I would hear back from Rob, and I also had a good
feeling about Riley.  Using his contact card, I called Riley on Thursday
after work to see if he wanted to get together on the weekend.  He sounded
enthusiastic about it, and he invited me to come over to his cabin for
drinks and dinner on Friday night.

I still had some misgivings about being alone with this new friend –
especially now that I had possibly opened up a new channel of communication
with Rob – but I gladly accepted, and Riley gave me directions.  As it
turned out, his cabin was only a few blocks from my apartment, so I decided
to leave my beater at home and just walk over.  I had a feeling I might not
be as sober afterward as a driver should be.

I arrived a little before the agreed-upon time of 6 p.m., so I detoured
around Riley's block a bit so I wouldn't be early.  No need to appear that
eager, I thought.  As it turned out, Riley was the eager one and
enthusiastically greeted me with a firm two-handed handshake and a broad
smile.

"Great to see you again, Kurt!  Thanks for getting in touch.  I was hoping
you would," Riley said, as he opened a couple of cold beers.  "Let's sit
out here on the deck.  It's not too hot out today."

Actually, the upper Maine coast seldom gets too uncomfortably hot, but I
had worked up a bit of a sweat on the walk over.  The beer hit the spot,
and before long we were on our second one.

"You'll never guess what happened since I saw you last," I said, diving
into a plate of snacks that Riley had just put on the table.

"What's that?"

"I think I told you that I wrote to Rob last summer after his accident and
never heard back from him."

"Sure.  Go on.  Did you finally get a letter?"

"Well, I got a letter all right, but it was the same one I wrote to him.
The park secretary we had last summer never got around to forwarding it to
him.  The new secretary found it buried in her desk drawer and gave it back
to me."

"You're kidding, right?  I'll bet you were surprised."

"Very.  But I was also kind of relieved.  I thought he'd just ignored my
letter, but then I found out he never got it in the first place.  It gave
me a chance to send it to him again, along with a note of explanation."

"Are you sure it went out this time?"

"Well, not positive, but Marianna, the new secretary, seems a lot more
reliable than the last one.  Besides, I kinda got the feeling that she knew
my motivations."

"Which were...?"

I thought I saw a flash of jealousy in Riley's eyes.  Feeling myself blush,
I tried to think what to say.  I wasn't even sure I knew what my
motivations were – much less how to describe them.

"Well, like I said last week, Rob and I were becoming pretty good friends,
I thought, and I was hoping we could stay in touch."

It seemed like a noncommittal response, but Riley seemed to suspect there
was more to it than that.  I hoped he wouldn't push for more, but it seemed
to be Riley's nature to do so, and he did.

"I think maybe you and Rob were more than just friends.  Am I right?"

I had spoken to no one about the nature of my interest in Rob, but now two
people in the last few days had picked up on it – first Marianna, and
now Riley.  Was I that transparent, I wondered?  Not able to hold eye
contact, I looked away to buy some time to come up with a suitable reply.

"Well, I think it might have gone in that direction if we'd had a little
more time.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll never know."

"So you'll be watching your mailbox pretty carefully now, won't you?" Riley
said, looking away now himself.  Riley seemed to me like a guy who knew
what he wanted and didn't waste any time finding a way to get it, but now
he looked like he was in a situation he wasn't comfortable with.

"I'm getting a little hungry – how about you?" Riley said, apparently to
change the subject, since he didn't seem to be getting anything much out of
me.  "I'll fire up the grill and get some burgers ready to fry.  Help
yourself to another beer."


Both of us now tried to find things to talk about other than Rob.  After
we'd had dinner on the deck, we carried the dishes back inside and put the
leftover potato salad and condiments back in the refrigerator.  As the sun
had begun to set, a cool breeze had come up off the ocean, so Riley closed
the windows and shades.  He offered to show me the rest of the "cabin,"
which was really more of a house.  It was clear to me that his uncle and
aunt had some dough.  The place was far plusher than my apartment.

We climbed the stairs to see the bedrooms.  I was admiring the stunning
view of dusk over Bar Harbor from his bedroom window when I sensed him
standing behind me only a few inches away.  Hands that were not my own were
reaching around my rib cage and finding their way to the buttons on my
shirt.  Lips were nuzzling the back of my ears and neck.  Though a little
shocked (well okay, not really), I felt pleasurable sensations all the way
to my toes.  But then my nervousness kicked in.

"Riley, I..."

"Shhh.  Don't break the spell.  I know I'm not Rob, but wouldn't you be
willing to settle for someone who looks just like him?  Besides, I'm here
and he's who-knows-where."

"I've never done this...I'm not sure I'm ready yet," I said as Riley slowly
turned me around.  I was surprised to see that my host's shirt had already
found its way to the floor, and my own shirt was now almost completely
unbuttoned.  I groaned as Riley's thumbs caressed my now-hard nipples and
his lips continued to roam around my forehead, my ears, and my nose,
finally finding their way to my own lips.  I felt Riley's tongue slipping
inside my mouth, and I met it with my own tongue.  I had no idea another
man's kiss could be this sensuous, and despite my misgivings I found my
virgin cock stirring to life.  Riley's right hand had found its way inside
my shorts and was testing the situation.

"Oh, I don't know, my friend – I think you might be more ready than you
realize.  Let's get these clothes off and see where things go."


I blinked my eyes open the following morning.  Like most mornings, I was
naked.  But unlike most mornings, there was an arm holding my body in a
spooning position.  My entire backside, from neck to feet, was firmly held
up against another naked body that I could feel but not see.  A rigid pole
of human male flesh was lodged between the globes of my ass, and my own
pole felt harder than usual, especially when the hand that had been on my
chest glided down my smooth tight torso and grasped the sensitive organ
firmly.

I had never awakened this way before, but I quickly decided that it wasn't
such a bad way to do it.

"Good morning, sexy," a voice behind me whispered in my ear.

"Umm," I purred, reaching around and pulling Riley's bare body even closer
to my own.  "I think there's a naked man in my bed."

"I don't think you're in your bed, handsome – you're in mine.  And yes,
I think we're both naked.  Any objections?"

"None whatsoever," I said, disengaging myself and crawling up to lay my
body on top of my bed partner.  I ran my fingers through the long, dark
hair and gazed dreamily into the equally dark eyes, drinking in the
handsome face beneath me.  There had been many nights in the past year that
I had dreamed of lying like this with Rob, and this was almost my dream
come true, except for one rather significant thing – this wasn't Rob.

"I think your virgin days are over now, sweetie," Riley said with a smile.

"That's quite all right with me.  I believe after last night that I've put
those behind me, with a little help from you."

"Good.  No regrets, I hope."

"Nope."

"Is that the best you can do?" Riley said with a mock pout.

"Actions speak louder than words," I replied, sliding down far enough to
mimic what he had done to me so expertly the night before.  "Does that tell
you anything?" I said, stopping long enough to take a breath and then
resuming what I was doing, as Riley squirmed in pleasure.

"Yes, but you'd better let me up for a minute.  Nature is calling, big
time."

Reluctantly, I let my new lover out of bed to head for the bathroom.  I
marveled at the beauty of Riley's completely nude body as he glided across
the room.  It was every bit as appealing as I had expected it to be.  I
hadn't really expected to see it at all until Riley surprised me by
stripping completely in front of me last night, and then relieving me of my
own clothing before dropping to his knees.

What had happened next took my breath away.  I had no idea how much
pleasure I'd been missing out on – even if in my mind I had wanted my
first time to be with Rob.  But Rob was noticeably missing from the mix at
that moment, and the talented mouth of Riley Sullivan quickly made me not
really care who was bringing me such ecstasy.

Returning to bed, Riley allowed me to make the same quick trip, watching me
as intently as he himself had just been watched.  Our physical differences
seemed to cause both of us to be entranced with the other's body.

Breakfast was delayed that Saturday morning until more primal urges could
be satisfied once again.  I had never taken an intimate shower with another
man before, but that came next and I found it almost as intoxicating as
what had transpired in Riley's bed moments before.  The soapy hands, the
warm water, the nearness of Riley's perfect body – I loved it all.

We spent the rest of the day together, but Riley had previously made plans
for that night with his friends.  I reluctantly returned to my own
apartment, where I was teased mercilessly by my roommates for not coming
home the night before for the first time ever.  I just quietly smiled.
They would have to use their imaginations.


Sometimes the highest highs are followed by the lowest lows, and my mental
well-being followed that path quickly as the following work week unfolded.
"What have I done?" I kept asking myself.  As much as I had enjoyed my
first foray into gay sex – or any sex, for that matter – I felt
guilty of betrayal.  Then a minute later I would ask myself, "How can you
betray someone you haven't seen or even heard from in almost a year?"  It
didn't make logical sense, but sometimes the mind doesn't follow a logical
path, especially where affairs of the heart are concerned.

I had given Riley my phone number after our night of passion with each
other, and he was using it almost every evening to pressure me into "coming
over for a while."  Knowing full well what that implied, I begged off,
claiming – with honesty – that I was too tired from working all day.
But I also just felt that I needed some time to process what had happened
in Riley's bedroom.

Riley was probably dismayed at my apparent lack of interest in a second
night together, but he perked up a bit when I agreed to come over "for a
drink" after work on Friday night.  By then, my feelings of guilt had
abated somewhat and I went, assuming – correctly as it turned out –
that I wouldn't be sleeping in my own bed again that night.

It wasn't that I didn't like Riley.  I liked him a lot, and his attentions
toward me were thrilling.  But I hadn't felt the same emotional thrill with
him the previous weekend that I had felt in that alleyway with Rob a year
earlier – even though we didn't really do anything much more than hug
before we were chased off.

I kept playing that tape over and over in my mind – much as I had done
during the intervening school year.  The thrill of being hugged and then
touched on the face by Rob that night frankly was more on my mind than what
had happened in Riley's cabin just a week ago.  The physical sensations
from sex with Riley had certainly been very satisfying, but my heart had
not followed.  I wondered if it ever would.

"Hello, handsome!" Riley said, like an eager puppy, when I appeared on his
doorstep on Friday night.  The man certainly didn't lack for enthusiasm –
or self-confidence.  I allowed myself to be enveloped in Riley's hug, and I
hugged back.  It looked like Riley was ready to go upstairs right away, but
I wanted – and needed – that promised drink first.

We made small talk about our week while sitting next to each other on the
living room couch.  Riley made frequent contact with his hands, although he
restrained himself a bit when he saw that I wasn't reciprocating.

He had pre-ordered a pizza and was keeping it warm up in the oven while we
enjoyed our first drinks.

"Something smells good.  Are we having pizza?" I inquired.

"Any time you're ready.  I'll get us another beer and we can get started."

"On the pizza, you mean?" I said with a shy smile, feeling the relaxing
effects already from my first beer.

"Sure, but I'm saving you for dessert."

I blushed but had to admit to myself that Riley looked awfully good to me
that night.  I was already imagining him without clothes, but I wondered to
myself if I still had Rob's body in mind.  I had never seen Rob naked, but
I pretty much knew he would look just as appealing that way as Riley had
last weekend.

After the pizza was gone, Riley was impatient to move on to the next order
of business.  That was apparent to me from the increasing amount of
touching that I felt on my bare thigh – and even underneath my shorts.
Riley's magic fingers were definitely turning me on.

Still sensing some reticence on my part, Riley decided to tread more
carefully than I think he was used to having to do in situations like this.

"So, my friend, did you have fun here last weekend with me?"

"Yes, it was nice."

"Just `nice'?  I thought you acted like you really got off on it –
literally.  Was your first time all that you'd hoped it would be?"

"I guess I really didn't have too many clear expectations, but I didn't
have any trouble responding, did I?"

"No, you didn't.  I thought you `rose to the occasion' just fine," Riley
said with a wicked smile.

"Riley, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure.  Fire away."

"Have you been out a long time?"

"Just for a couple of years, I guess.  My first time was with my college
roommate when I was a freshman.  He was two years older and didn't waste
much time seducing me."

"Did you have...feelings for him?"

"Not particularly.  It was just sex, but it went on for the whole school
year.  After that I pledged a frat and moved out of the dorm.  I haven't
seen him since."

"But you've been with other guys, I assume."

"A few, yes."

"Any real boyfriends?"

"Just one, but it didn't work out."

"Did you love him?"

"What are you getting at, Kurt?"

"I'm just a little skittish about...being with you, frankly.  I want to,
but I'm not anywhere close to wanting a real boyfriend yet – you know,
the kind where you make a commitment or anything."

"Have I asked you for one?"

"No, but I just wanted to be honest with you."

Riley took his hand off of my leg and put his head back on the couch.  I
couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Did I ruin the mood?"

"Look, Kurt," Riley said, turning back and laying his hand on my thigh, "I
like you a lot, but I'm not going to pressure you for anything more than I
sense that you're ready for.  You know, I'm sure, that I tend to be a
little impulsive, but I'm not insensitive.  We can take this as slowly as
you want, but you just have to know that I really like you, I'm really
attracted to you, and I've had a hard-on for the past 30 minutes that won't
quit."

Riley took my hand and laid it directly on the evidence.  With his other
hand he found, not to his surprise, that there was more than one erection
in the room.

"What do you say?  Can we go upstairs now and take care of these?  You set
the pace.  It's important to me that you're comfortable with this.  I mean
that."

"Okay...can I have a little kiss first?" I replied, with a coy smile.

"You can have kisses all night long," Riley said, meeting me halfway.
Despite my misgivings, my heart was pounding with anticipation as I felt
the buttons on my shirt being opened and Riley's lips on my own once again.



(To be continued soon)



Thanks for reading my story.  If you have any comments, I'd be more than
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Damian
nvtahoeus@yahoo.com