If you are enjoying this story, this is another long chapter. It is one I really like.

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As a reminder, the last chapter ended at Valentine's Day 2023.

 

16

March 14, 2023

Laramie Jenkins (34)
Cooper Snow (39)

 

Laramie

Cooper had been giddy all weekend. He was infinitely more excited about my birthday than I was. We had killer sex at my place, but now, three days later and following dinner at Lawrence Creek, I was overnighting at his place. I wondered if he had a surprise for me.

We had ordered. Cooper was having seared tuna with ginger rice. I opted for the New York strip with roasted red potatoes. I steered away from anything spicy tonight. I didn't want anything to interrupt "things" later.

My phone rang. It was Grayson. I hated to detract from dinner, but Cooper and I had all night.

"Hi there," I answered.

"Happy birthday! Are you out with Cooper?"

"I am. He's treating to me a dinner that I am surely not worthy of. He probably thinks he can have his way with me later."

My brother laughed. Cooper smiled.

"I won't keep you long. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday before the night got away."

"Thanks, your card arrived yesterday."

"So, what all are you doing tonight?"

"I'm not sure. It is supposed to be a night of surprises."

"Fun!!" my brother exclaimed.

"Yeah. We'll probably fuck."

Cooper gave me a look of total scorn and glanced to see if anyone was nearby.

"Jesus, Larry. You are so lame sometimes. Could anyone hear that?!" my brother admonished.

"Only Coop."

My brother got noticeably quiet. "Did you hear from Mom and Dad?"

I was immediately put off. "Nope. A card did arrive today though."

"Would you consider coming home?"

"Why? Why now?"

"I'm not sure. Mom says she's fine, but I have to wonder."

"Why?"

"Her movements, the tone in her voice. I'd like you to come see her. Please come home."

Cooper's expression became noticeable. He could hear most of the conversation. He wiggled his fingers to indicate he wanted the phone. He had never talked to Gray before. I hadn't even sent a photo of him or us before.

"What...?" I uttered.

"Give me the phone."

I handed the phone to my boyfriend. "Hi, Grayson. This is Cooper."

"Well, hi! It's nice to put a voice with the name. I've heard so much about you. Thanks for putting up with my brother."

Cooper chuckled. Their conversation was unintelligible to me for a moment. Finally, he said, "Grayson, do you think it would be okay if I came with Laramie to Kansas?"

The phone went quiet. I gave him a total "What the hell? look.

"I think so. You'd come?"

"I've told Laramie over and over that I would accompany him to see your parents."

"Well, if you can get him here, then I totally think it would be okay."

"Give me that!" I took the phone back. "I never said I was coming," I told Gray.

"Please consider it. I'm not saying anything is bad. Certainly not like it was all those years ago, but ... consider it, okay?"

"Perhaps. Hey, thanks for calling. Our food is arriving."

 

Cooper

Heaven knows I dreaded Laramie meeting my family. It tied my stomach in knots. But that turned out okay. I just felt he should repair this relationship before he regretted it. I knew it would be a good thing in the long run, but I could empathize with his hesitation.

Our server was Gary. He was very professional. We preceded dinner with Caesar salads. Both fresh ground pepper and freshly grated parmesan impressed Laramie. I hoped he would feel special on his birthday. We smiled and nodded at our server.

"Thanks, babe. I've never been here. Pretty fancy."

"I'm happy to make your birthday a little more special."

I wasn't going to push any more about visiting his family. I'd just let the seed be planted and see how it grew from there.

"Are you sure you are okay going to my parents' house next weekend for my mother's birthday?"

"Sure. They were great at Christmas."

"We're a couple now; it could be different."

"They treated me very well in December. I can't imagine them being monsters now."

"Luckily Corey will be with us. They better behave."

Laramie smiled at me. "I assume we can share a bed this time?"

I hadn't really thought about it, but of course that would be automatic now. "Sure. Absolutely. We don't have to stay overnight."

"It seems silly to drive down for just a few hours."

"Not for me," I deadpanned.

Laramie snapped his napkin at me.

"Hey! You're the one who won't go home at all!" I fired back.

We both took another bite of salad. Gary brought some additional bread. The restaurant had incredible bread, and the honey butter was to die for. I tried to refrain from reaching for another piece as I wanted to make sure I could actually eat my entrée.

"It was interesting to see your old boss at your workplace," I said.

"Kent. Yeah." Laramie chuckled. "He is enjoying retirement, he really is. But staying at home every single day kind of drives him nuts. He enjoyed the travel at first, but then ... I think he really loved his job. Tinkering at the shop gives him an outlet without any pressure. He's excellent. He taught me a lot when I started. When his wife suggests they do puzzles together, he knows he needs out of the house."

I laughed.

"He's happy about you, too."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He was always trying to encourage me to date."

"Why did he care?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I arrived from Kansas, he could tell..." Laramie trailed off.

"Tell what?"

"That my spirit was sort of shattered."

"It's cool that he was fine with the gay thing."

Laramie's phone rang again. "Sorry." He sighed. "It's the parents."

Laramie wiped his mouth with his napkin. I noticed he took a deep breath.

"Hello," he said. I could slightly make out their voices, but just barely.

They wished him a happy birthday.

"Thanks," he returned. He paused, waiting for them to say something further.

I thought they asked if he was doing anything, but I couldn't tell for sure.

"I'm out to dinner. It's a really nice place." He winked at me.

I thought they apologized for interrupting. Laramie's glance looked upward to the ceiling. He didn't like the strain of trying to manage a conversation.

"Do you remember when I mentioned Cooper several weeks back?" He paused. "Cooper." He snorted breath out of his nostrils. "The man I am in love with?"

"Oh. Yes," I could overhear.

"He's treating me wonderfully tonight."

Laramie had no idea what further awaited.

There was a lengthy silence. "Your card arrived today. Thanks," he said.

I thought I heard something like: "We'll let you get back to your dinner."

"Okay." Another pause. "Thank you for calling."

Wow. That was short. And fairly emotionless.

"Well. See? Did we even make it 60 seconds?"

I felt bad. My family was a mess, but at least there was some sort of emotion there, even if it was negativity directed at me. Laramie's family ... it was like a blank space they were just drifting in.

"Trust me. You don't want to ever meet them."

I reached over and held his hand. I didn't add anything to the conversation.

Gary removed our salad plates. During that time, I kept my hand over Laramie's. As strict as my upbringing was, I was at a point in my life where I was okay with affection in public. I sometimes wondered if anyone from my old church congregation might see me with Laramie — or Mitch — in public and be revolted. Now I truly didn't care. Gary paid no attention at least.

 

Laramie

My steak looked exceptional. For the price listed on the menu, it needed to be. I kind of felt guilty ordering it, but it was my birthday after all. I knew Cooper wanted it to be a nice evening. Hopefully, I could repay him in bed. The knife cut through the beef so easily. I was going to love this meal.

"Mmm," Cooper said after his first bite of the seared tuna. `I love this. You have to try it."

He forked off a bite and reached across the table with it. I leaned forward to snatch it from his utensil with my mouth. My expression conveyed that I thought it was outstanding. "That's ... yum!"

I did the same with my steak. I wondered if people of refined etiquette would be appalled with what we had done. Would Roman had done this if we had become a couple? Or did we just look silly to other patrons? I didn't care. Sharing things with Cooper was one of the greatest gifts of our relationship.

"I really do appreciate you going to this effort. I am not sure my birthday is worthy of this extravagance."

"This is Step One," he said, continuing to take another bite as if that didn't spur further questions.

I put my fork down and looked at him. "Out of ...?"

"I don't know if I should say," he teased.

"I do. Say."

"More than one."

I glared at him. "You're being an ass on purpose."

"Mm-hmm," he said, continuing to eat.

"I suppose I should say: A fucking gorgeous, kind, caring, loving, beautiful ass," I said, taking another bite.

He smiled.

"And I love your beautiful ass," I added.

Conversation continued until our plates were cleared. Since the beginning, Cooper and I could relate to each other so naturally. It was such an incredible fluke that we met by accident. Fate played a role. If I ever opened a coffee shop, I would call it Destiny. Had we never crashed into each other, what would I have been doing tonight? Would the calls from my family have been the highlight of celebration? Maybe C.J. and Spencer would have invited me out dancing. Maybe I would be involved with a different boyfriend. Maybe Jennifer Lopez and I would be getting married. Who was I kidding — I would have been at home, lost in my self-imposed isolation. Kenton was right; I was underperforming in putting myself out there.

Destiny finally got tired of waiting.

I looked at the face of the most handsome man I had ever met. It hypnotized me. He finally noticed me staring.

"What?" he asked. I just smiled. "Do I have something on my face?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He paused. "Seriously, is something on my face?"

"I love you with all my heart. I love you more than anyone I ever have in my entire life."

Cooper put down his fork.

"You know, we keep saying these things like wedding vows in restaurants. If we keep eating out, you may just propose one day."

"I'm not a marrying guy." I reached for his hand this time. "But the idea of being with you for the rest of my life isn't such a bad picture."

We were sitting at a table for four, but not on opposite sides. Because we were only 90 degrees from each other, we leaned in for a kiss. It lasted longer than it should have in a refined restaurant like Lawrence Creek, regardless of our gender. When we separated, Gary was once again standing there.

"That was sweet, but may I also tempt you with dessert?" he said with professionalism.

"What do you have that is chocolate?" I asked.

He suggested the dark chocolate cake on crème anglaise with raspberry hearts.

"Two forks," I said.

Two minutes later it was placed between us.

"I'm sure a place like this doesn't have candles to blow out," I joked.

"Oh, we'll be blowing out candles tonight," Cooper said.

Fifteen minutes later, Cooper was paying the tab. I cringed thinking of what the total might be. At least when the two of us went out, there was never alcohol involved. That helped the bill slightly.

As we walked to his car, I leaned him up against the driver's door and kissed him deeply again. "That was magnificent. Thank you."

He smiled at me. "On to Step Two."

He knew I was curious, but he didn't let on. Within fifteen minutes, we pulled up to The Black Stallion just before 9. He opened his trunk and pulled out one of my cowboy hats.

"Okay. I wasn't expecting this."

"I secretly ran it to my car over the weekend."

When we walked in, I was surprised to see C.J., Spencer, Emory and Don waving at us from a table near the back.

"What is this?" I spoke.

"Just friends. They want to wish you Happy Birthday too."

They all had beers in front of them, except for Don, who looked to be drinking whisky with Coke.

Cooper looked at me. "It's your birthday. If you want something, get something."

"You are the only thing I want, and I promised you I wouldn't drink around you." I gave him a quick kiss.

He went to get us a couple of Cokes from the bar.

"So, what's going on?" I asked my other friends.

"Cooper wanted us here for you tonight. He also has somewhat of a surprise.

"Oh really?"

I wondered what it could be. Inside a bar, I knew it wouldn't be a stripper. He came back shortly with our beverages.

Everyone conveyed happy wishes and we engaged in verbal pleasantries for a few minutes. It was a Tuesday night, so the bar was fairly quiet. The Black Stallion was rarely dead, but the dance floor only had three couples.

Then came line dancing. Cooper grabbed my arm. "Let's go."

All of us went to the dance floor. Cooper tended to stay in the back and on the ends. Tonight, he was at the center of our line. Within minutes I could tell he had practiced.

"What have you been up to?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're suddenly good."

That was a bit of a stretch. Cooper wasn't as bad as he used to be, but he was by no means great. But I could tell his moves were much more natural. He blended well, and he was all smiles.

We danced to a few songs that way.

Thankfully the bar was not crowded enough for anyone to need our table. Our drinks were still there. We talked and laughed.

A two-step song came on. Emory passed. Don asked if he could dance with me. "He's mine," Cooper responded.

He grabbed my hand and led me back to the dance floor. We laughed and smiled. Again, Cooper had the steps down. We noticed Don had snatched Spencer. I was having a wonderful time. We danced a second two-step.

The following song was a rare slow song. Spencer and Don retreated to the table. We saw Emory agree to come out with Don this time.

 

Cooper

I loved slow dancing with Laramie. My thoughts drifted back to our first dance last November. We swayed in each other's arms.

"Remember last fall?" I asked.

"You bumped your head into my cowboy hat," he returned.

"And I held it like this," I said, lifting it off his head and holding it behind his back.

"Then you kissed me."

"Like this," I said. Our mouths locked. We swayed and kissed. Swayed. Kissed.

"That time we both said, `I'm sorry.' Now I can say ... I'm not," I said.

"I knew I loved you back then."

"And I was afraid I had already fallen for you too much." I kissed him again.

"I love you so much more now," Laramie said. "I love you tons."

"I love you 3,000," I returned with the Iron Man answer.

"So how did you become good at dancing?"

"I've been practicing. Believe it or not, I asked the receptionist if she would help me. She loved the idea."

"And how long have the two of you been cavorting?" he asked.

I laughed. "I've planned this for a couple of weeks now. She'll practice with me in my office after work. I even watched some things online. Are you surprised?"

"Very."

When the song ended, I kissed him again and placed his hat back on his head. "You are so crazy hot in that hat."

He grabbed my hand, and we interlocked our fingers on the way back to the table.

When it was 10:30, I knew we needed to move on. Everyone had to work in the morning, so they were fine with a shorter night at the bar than what typically might transpire. I thanked them for joining us, and Laramie gave each of them a hug.

As we returned to our car, Laramie shared, "That was awesome. Thank you, Cooper. The night has been really great."

"Step Three awaits," I said, starting the car.

For mid-March, it shouldn't have surprised me to see the nights still get chilly. As we entered the house, I said, "I think I'm going to make a hot tea. Want one?"

"You still have the vanilla version, right?" he said. "I think it's decaf."

"Coming up."

Laramie sat on the couch and reached for the remote. He was going to see what late -night programming was on. I put a kettle on and then heard the television go silent. I turned to see what had happened.

"I didn't need to see anything on TV. I'd just rather sit with you."

"Aw," I said, as I pulled out my bin of various teas.

I brought out my two gifts.

"Honestly, Cooper, you've done so much for me tonight already."

"Step Three: Gifts." I handed him the box.

Laramie ripped the paper, revealing a simple gift box. Once he pried open the lid, he erupted into laughter.

"Pajamas!"

"I told you I would get you a pair. We can't allow Corey to see that hunky naked body of yours."

He gave me a peck on the lips. "Only you get to see that. Actually, I found it kind of hot to wear that old pair of yours when it was necessary."

"I got those a few years into our marriage. They are ancient."

"Just knowing your dick had been inside them made them hot."

"I swear, you can make anything sexual."

The tea kettle whistled. We both got up to walk to the kitchen. I handed him a mug. We stood there as our tea steeped. We found the few minutes an opportune time to kiss. I placed my hands on the back of his head to keep his lips pressed to mine. His hands clutched my butt cheeks. Knowing we would soon make love made me erect, but I knew that was still a ways off.

We carried our mugs back to the living room. As we sipped, his eyes drifted to the second gift. He noticed that I noticed that he noticed.

"In a few minutes," I said. My body leaned into his; my head rested on his shoulder. His arm came around me and held my body into his. I unbuttoned one button on his shirt so that my hand could slip inside and feel his chest. As I teased his chest hair, I could see his jeans every-so-slightly move at the crotch.

We didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"I wish we had a fire," he finally said, softly.

"It isn't that cold," I replied.

"No. But it would make this moment perfect."

My head nuzzled into his neck after I had given it a simple kiss. "We'll have to settle for near perfect."

Laramie took a sip of his tea. I sat up straight and did the same.

"What did you do on your birthday last year?"

He sighed. "It was right before Roman, so nothing romantic, that's for sure. I was still a new store owner, so all my focus was on that. Actually, I didn't really do much of anything at all."

"I'm sorry," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"I was kind of used to being by myself for holidays."

"I hope it's okay that Corey and I have changed that."

"Completely."

After finishing my tea, I grabbed a pillow and reclined with my head in his lap. I looked up at him.

"You changed my life in so many ways," he said looking down at me.

Laramie took another sip of Sleepytime Vanilla. His fingers threaded through my hair as he did so. I loved how that felt. Even after several weeks of us as a couple, his very touch thrilled me.

He let a finger grace my jawline. "Have you ever grown a beard?"

"Natalie was dead against it. It doesn't grow in really well. I suppose I could pull off scruff."

"Ooo. Maybe we'll have to explore that one day."

"I thought you fell in love with Clean Cut Cooper," I smiled.

"Perhaps. All I know is that I love Cooper the man."

I reached up for his hand. His found mine. We clutched. I pulled it to my face and kissed his fingers in appreciation.

Laramie glanced at this other gift. "Are you going to let me open this one?"

I sat up. "Sure. Of course."

"You've spent way too much on me, Cooper. Really. I hope this isn't too much."

He picked up the small box and felt that it was light.

"This one was less than two dollars," I said.

Laramie slightly jolted in surprise. "uh. Okay."

He then hesitantly tore the paper off the small box. He opened the small cardboard box. After looking inside, he turned to me. "A key."

"Your key," I said.

 

Laramie

What was this?

"I know what I feel, and I think I know how you feel," Cooper said. "I know how you have your own house and you need your space, but ... when you come here, I don't want you to knock or ring the doorbell. I want this to feel like home too."

My mouth dropped a bit. I wasn't sure how to process this.

Cooper grabbed my wrist. "Come with me."

We walked into the bedroom. He turned around a picture frame on his dresser. It was of the two of us. We both looked beautiful in it. He leaned down and opened a drawer.

"This is your drawer. I don't want you to have to bring an overnight bag."

I noticed it was already stocked with brand-new boxers, socks and space for anything I would want to add.

"wow." I managed to breathe out.

Cooper's fingers locked with mine. He pulled me to the bathroom.

"You have a drawer here too," he said pulling one open. Actually, the master bathroom was built for two people so there was plenty of space, but I felt he wanted to show me that he had deodorant, toothpaste, new toothbrushes, a razor, a comb and brush, the hand lotion I liked to use after work and mouthwash. "No need to ever have to drag anything over here."

Cooper's walk-in closet was so much bigger than mine. He led us there.

"See all this space? I want you to fill it with whatever you want. A few things to wear to work, T-shirts for the weekend, jeans, whatever you want... so that if you ever want to be here, it's here and you will be ready the next day."

"Cooper, I ..." I started to say before I was being pulled into another room.

Cooper pulled a picture of Corey and me making a cabinet from last December out from behind a chair. He placed it on the mantle next to my sculpture. It captured both of us smiling as we worked together.

"Aw. I love it. I love him."

Our next stop was the kitchen.

"Indulge me. I know it's overly cute, but you have a coffee mug here." He handed me a mug with a large "L" on it. "I have one that matches, with a `C.' I know it's silly, but it is ... you ... here."

"Okay, that was all more than two dollars."

"We're not done."

He guided me upstairs. We entered Corey's room.

"I know I'm not getting a drawer in here!" I insisted.

"Look," Cooper said, pointing to Corey's nightstand.

There was a picture of Corey, Cooper and me when we went sledding. A great shot was wonderfully in focus; we were all smiles.

"I asked Corey if we could put this in here. He loves it. He totally loved that day."

"Me too," I whimpered, trying not to tear up.

Cooper looked me directly in the face. "I want you to feel at home here. I want you to feel comfortable here. I love you. I want you to feel like you belong here."

That was it. My eyes welled as much as they could. Tears ran over. I didn't like Cooper to see me in such a state, but I couldn't stop. We embraced, and I allowed myself to cry in his arms.

After a minute of being overcome by emotion, I pulled from him to grab a tissue from the box next to the framed picture. I dabbed my eyes and blew a significant amount of snot into the tissue. I assumed I needed a second one as I felt my nose still dripping, which couldn't have been a flattering look. I knew I appeared pathetic, but I kissed Cooper incredibly hard.

"I love you so much," I said pulling our lips an inch apart.

Cooper smiled back at me and then glanced at the clock. "Uh oh."

I turned to look at the time. 11:42.

"We don't have much longer," he said.

"For..?" I asked.

He whispered in my ear: "Step Four. Birthday sex."

Once downstairs, I broke into one of the two new toothbrushes he had in "my" drawer. I felt the two of us sharing the tube on the counter was fine. Cooper had never exhibited possessiveness over toiletries; I was safe. But still, the gesture alone in that drawer moved me. It was something I could have easily done once he gave me the key.

The key.

A key to his home.

A key to his heart.

A key to his life.

I frothed the toothpaste vigorously just to keep my eyes from watering again. It was a second round of less-than-attractive looks for me. I washed my mouth and wiped it on "my" towel. After taking a final pee, I turned out the light to join Cooper in the bathroom. He had just lit a candle next to our framed picture.

I walked up to him to glance at the image of us once more.

"Our first date," he said softly.

"Before I ruined it," I moaned.

"I enjoyed it. All of it."

He stepped over to the night lamp and turned it out. Only the candle illuminated the room. Placed next to the dresser mirror, the light reflected creating just enough warmth to bathe the bedroom in a tender glow.

He moved back to me, and we kissed again as our fingers unfastened the buttons on each other's shirt. I felt each button release as his soft lips pressed to mine. I spread his shirt open. Cooper pressed harder into his kiss; he moaned. I felt his hands reach inside my shirt to feel my chest. I loved that. I moved my hands upward to lift his shirt up and over his shoulders. It dropped to his elbows. He removed his hands from my chest to allow it to fall to the floor. He then pulled mine off.

My penis was already getting hard from his first manipulation of my shirt buttons.

Suddenly his hands gently grabbed the side of my face and pulled it to his. His kissed me deeply. Madly. Fiercely. Passionately. "I love you, Laramie," he whispered between kisses. "I love you so much." Affectionately. Zealously. Enthusiastically. Lovingly. "I want you."

Our hands fumbled on each other's pants. Belts were ripped from their loops. I unzipped his first and his dick-tented boxers protruded from the opening. He managed to yank my zipper down and immediately plunged his hand below the waistband of my underwear. My tower was eagerly waiting.

"Ohhh, yeah. I need that. I need you," he softly pleaded.

I shoved my pants completely off taking my boxers with them. Cooper's grasp on my cock remained tight as I stepped out of them. I reached over to grab his slacks. They dropped to the floor, and he pulled his feet out of them. I fell onto the bed and reached down to pull my socks from my feet. My body no longer had an inch of material on it. Cooper hopped on one foot as he yanked his off. He leaned down and maneuvered his body on top of mine.

His glorious body.

His beautiful body.

His erect body.

His sensual, hot, burning, perfect body.

My arms wrapped around him, and we kissed as our dicks pressed against each other. We gyrated them as our mouths continued to taste and slurp on each other's face. I could have sacrificed hours' worth of sleep to kiss Cooper the entire night.

Cooper sat up and straddled my waist. He gripped both our erections together and rubbed them in his firm grasp.

Together.

Erections.

Cooper. Me.

Rubbing.

He looked down. "Fuck me tonight?"

As much as that would be physical heaven, I knew it also caused him pain following. I couldn't do that, not to this man who did everything for my birthday. Besides, I loved having his cock inside me.

"I think I'd rather you do me. Feeling you inside me is the icing on my birthday cake."

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Yeah. I need it."

Within seconds, a towel and a bottle of lube were placed next to us. Cooper teased my hard-on for a moment. Then he opened the lube. I moved the towel below me and spread my legs wide. A slick finger then probed me. It stimulated me. It explored me.

"Fuck me, babe," I said looking at him.

I loved watching him slide scented lubricant on his cock. His blond bush modeled masculinity. I lifted my waist just a touch and he leaned over me. He moved his cock to my ass, looking down to position it correctly.

"Fuck me," I breathed to him.

I felt it go in. "Ungh," we both uttered together.

I enjoyed being a bottom much more than Cooper did, but there was still always the first moment of adjustment. I pulled on my legs to lift them further. Cooper was gentle, but he pushed all the way in.

"That's it," I said, as my ass accepted it.

At first, we said nothing. We breathed in rhythm as our eyes carried on our conversation. We just peered into each other's gaze as his cock thrust in and out of my body. Our vision was locked, his blue irises entranced with my golden brown. His breath exited his mouth in the subtlest of moans. His cock thrust in and out of my body. We remained silent, far different than our lovemaking in the past. As we were mesmerized in our stare, our look conveyed everything. We were connected. His cock thrust in and out of my body. He loved me. I loved him. Our joint actions, his penetration into me made us one flesh. One warmth. His cock thrust in and out of my body. I breathed heavier. Two men gave their souls to each other. Two men confessed their devotion to one another without saying a word. It was conveyed in a look. A thrust. A connection. A bond. His cock thrust in and out of my body.

I kept my legs stretched widely apart. I let go with one hand to reach up and gently caress his face. My touch finally made me smile. This prompted Cooper to return it. As we smiled, we permitted ourselves to finally moan.

The clock on the television across the room displayed 12:02. Our sex entered a second day, a way of saying it was eternal.

I could tell Cooper was a bit tired of supporting himself above me. I pulled his chest to my chest. We kissed. His erection didn't leave me. He pumped me harder as we kissed. My legs twisted around his. We groaned in our kiss and thrusts.

We had shared a bed enough times to where I could tell when Cooper's climax was approaching. In a startling reaction, I put my hands on his chest and pushed us apart.

"Cooper. Stop. Don't Come."

He looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I assured. "I changed my mind. I do want to fuck you."

"Oh."

"And then I want you to fuck me. And then I want to fuck you. And then you fuck me."

His eyes darted around my face. And then his mouth broke out into a big smile.

"How long do you think we can do this?"

"Let's find out."

A minute later, positions had changed. I used one then two fingers to prepare his hole. He panted as I probed his insides.

"Do me," he said.

I hurriedly coated my rod with fresh lube and scrambled to align it with his shuttered portal. I moved in as slowly as I could, but I slid all of it inside. Deep. Inside. Inside Cooper. It felt magnificent. His body stiffened. He needed a moment. I remained still. Then he nodded to me.

He started grunting as my hips charged an assault on his ass. "Yeah, Laramie. Fuck me, honey. Fuck my ass."

I smiled at him and continued pushing my fleshy prod inside him. He groaned louder. I matched his volume with my moans.

"I love being inside you, babe. Thanks for this."

"Fuck me more."

I thrust harder. "Ohhh, oh yeah," he moaned.

Cooper's hands reached around me. He held my shoulders as I continued to fuck him.

I growled. I groaned. "Fuuuuckkk yeah. Cooper, babe, I – I love you. I love fucking you. I love you."

"Fuck me, Laramie."

"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah."

It felt good. It felt really good. It felt great. It felt extraordinary.

Fuck. I had to stop.

I pulled out and gasped for breath. "I was getting too close to coming."

We sat up for a moment. He gave me a quick kiss and then reached for the lube.

"Get on your hands and knees," he directed.

We had never done it that way. I heard lube being reapplied to his cock. I could hear him yank on it to make sure it was fully rigid again. Then an extra squish was placed inside my pucker.

I couldn't see him, but I felt him enter me again. I howled in pleasure. He groaned. I felt his hands steady himself by holding my hips as he thrust in and out. My skin could detect the tacky slickness of his palms. As he worked me over, Cooper snarled in sexual gratification. I craned my neck and moaned a cry of extreme stimulation. I loved feeling him inside me just as I loved being inside him.

His hand reached around me and clutched my dick, still fully hard.

"Oh yeah, babe. Grab my fucking cock."

I lowered my head to gasp for breath. The clock on his nightstand said 12: 17. He stroked me, but I could tell it was throwing his rhythm off.

Suddenly, his other arm grabbed my chest and lifted me up. His chest was pressed against my back as our bodies were melded upright. My ass moved back further on his cock as he jerked my hard-on.

"Ohhhhhhhh, yeah!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. He squeezed my chest; he squeezed my cock. His fingers gripped my chest hair; his fingers gripped my male flesh. His lips slurped on my neck.

Dramatically, he pushed me away to the bed.

"Whew. I almost came. I was getting too close."

My turn to fuck him again. He lay face down, his head buried in the pillow.

More lube. More probing.

I lowered my body onto his back. We were once again sharing the warmth of our skin pressed together. My cock penetrated Cooper once more.

12:21 We moaned together.

12:24 We screamed together.

12:27 We whimpered together.

"I gotta pull out," I eventually said.

For a couple of minutes, we caught our breath. Our cocks were no longer at full mast, but still long and fleshy. We were treating them so cruelly.

We kissed again. Earnestly. Sincerely. Relentlessly. It caused us both to be fully erect again.

"Fuck me again," I begged.

12:30 We returned to our original position.

As Cooper fucked me a third time, I began to question if this was truly a good thing for male anatomy. Would I regret my birthday request?

12:32 "Fuck me, babe."

12:33 "Happy birthday, Laramie. Ohhh, yeah."

12:34 "Don't stop. I love you inside me, Coop."

12:35 "Ohhh. My cock is throbbing. I'm so ... Laramie, I can't stop. I'm going ... UNNNNGHHH!"

Cooper came inside me for three years. Sweat from his brow dripped on me as he kept pushing into my ass. I knew his balls were spent, but he kept pushing harder. "FUCK! Oh, man! Fuck yeah."

"Good, I take it?" I said with a smile.

 

Cooper

"Something like that," I laughed.

We grinned like Cheshire cats.

"Um... since you've come, think you can still take me again?" Laramie asked.

Could my ass possibly take any more abuse?

"Do me, birthday boy," I relented.

"With everything building up to now, it shouldn't take me long."

Laramie was correct. Three minutes later, his stiff arms lifted his body above me.

"Oh yeah. I'm close, babe."

I pulled my legs apart somehow wider.

"Yeah, honey. Come in me."

"FUCK, it feels so good, baby."

"Do it, man! Shoot your load inside me."

Laramie's body glistened in the candlelight. Perspiration made him even sexier.

"Ohhhh. Ohhhhhhh. OHHHHHHHHHH!"

He ravaged his hard-on inside me like he was grinding meat.

"Come in me. Come in me. COME IN ME!" I screamed.

"Oh FUCK. Yes, YES, YES! UNGGGHHH!!"

Laramie screamed with each pulse of cum escaping his erection. I panted in unison with him.

He looked at me and smiled and gasped for air as his orgasm finished.

"Holy fuck," he softly said.

"Happy birthday, Laramie," I whispered.

"No kidding."

We breathed heavily until we both regained our composure.

12:40

He flopped to my side.

After a tender kiss, he asked, "Are you okay?"

"Is there blood coming from my ass?"

He laughed.

"No. Please check."

"Oh, babe." I spread my legs back apart. "There doesn't appear to be. But ... fairly red." He kissed me again. "I'm sorry. That was a selfish request."

"As much as I will be in pain for the next 24 hours, that was also the most intense orgasm I've ever had. I hope it was a birthday to remember."

"It can never be topped," he replied.

We took a couple of minutes to wash up. Everything around my waist hurt. Thankfully both our penises were still intact and attached.

Freshly cleaned, we moved back to the bed. As we kissed good night, I stepped away from the bed to take care of the candle. The room had filled with the delicious smell of blueberry muffins for close to an hour. I couldn't pick up the candle. The glass was too hot. I went back to the bathroom to get one of the wet washcloths.

"What are you doing?" Laramie asked.

I wrapped it around the glass and carefully carried it over to the bed.

"I hope you have had a great birthday. This isn't a cake, but ... make a wish."

"Every wish has come true," he said looking me sincerely in the eyes. "You fulfill each one, Cooper."

I smiled. "I love you."

"Lord, I love you."

Laramie gently blew out the candle. The room was dark as the extinguished wick faintly illuminated a wisp of smoke. I delicately placed the candle on my nightstand adjacent to my side of the bed.

In the darkness of the room, I turned on my side and moved backward into his body. His arm wrapped around me.

"Thank you, Cooper. Thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, honey."

"I don't deserve you."

I held his finger and pressed it to my chest.

A minute later I heard him sniff. Soon afterward, his body shuddered.

"Fuck," he softly said through tears and snot, before moving out of the bed.

The bathroom door closed. Its rectangular contour was outlined with a thread of light. I heard him blow his nose. He used a second tissue. The light went out. He navigated his way back to me in bed. His arm wrapped back around me. I felt his face nuzzle into my shoulder. His lips gave my skin a gentle kiss. Almost imperceptibly I heard him whisper, "I love you so much" into my shoulder.

He was a softie. A creampuff.

He was my creampuff.

 

That Weekend

Laramie
Cooper

 

Cooper

Corey and I pulled into Laramie's driveway. He smiled as he came out to greet us. I opened the trunk, and he placed his bag alongside ours. Corey got out of the car to give Laramie a hug.

"I haven't locked up if you want to grab a Coke out of the fridge," he told my son.

"Grab me one, too," I called out, as Corey headed into the house.

Laramie slipped into the car and leaned over to give me a kiss.

I sighed. "Ready for another round with my family?"

"Cooper, they're fine. They were very polite to me at Christmas."

"This time they know you are gay."

"At least we get to sleep in the same bed this time." His face got serious, searching for confirmation. "Right?"

"Yes. We will." I smiled at him. "Just sleep. I'm not sure if my ass has recovered from your birthday bash Tuesday."

He laughed and gave me another kiss. "Sorry about that."

"Just holding you in my arms will serve as magic enough."

"Agreed."

Corey came back with drinks.

"I'll go lock up," Laramie said.

The drive never felt short, but with the two most important people to me in the car, it didn't seem long either. Corey had made a playlist for the drive. I just asked for no rap and to choose songs that the "adults" might know. He did fairly well, but there were a couple of new ones that we hadn't heard. One of the most subtle blessings of my relationship with Laramie was listening to the two of them sing together. I think it created an immediate bond that Mitchell and Corey never shared.

As we pulled into town, Laramie asked, "So what's the celebration for your mother like?"

"Oh, I think the family makes a bit more effort for it compared to Mother's Day. We still acknowledge that, but we all just like to make Mom feel special on this day. Mother's Day is sort of a national thing where she is lumped in with everybody else. Even though it is her birthday, she will still insist on fixing us a big dinner. She's probably got a couple of desserts made already."

"Nice."

We parked along the street at 2:40. Each of us reached into the trunk to grab our bags.

As commonly happens, Thomas met us at the door.

"Good grief, you've grown!" I exclaimed.

"You just saw me at Christmas."

"And you've grown a foot!"

"Uncle Cooper, you're so goofy."

"Guilty as charged," I said, rustling his hair. He giggled.

Mom came out of the kitchen. "You're here. You're here."

Laramie carefully took a bouquet of flowers from his overnight bag. "These are for you. Happy birthday, Mrs. Snow."

She caught her breath. "Ohhh, they're lovely."

They were. Peach roses were paired with white lisianthus, peach berries and succulent plants. It was springlike.

"Let me get a vase," she said and scurried off. A minute later they were placed in water, and she fawned over arranging them all in the vase. "Thank you, Larry."

"Are you trying to make me look bad?" I joked, jabbing him.

"You brought a gift," he retorted.

Dad walked in from the garage. At first, he lit up seeing Laramie. For a split second, he remembered: Oh. Yeah. You're gay. It was visible in his body language, but then he recovered. He smiled again and reached out his hand.

"It's good to see you, Larry."

"You too, Mr. Snow."

"Please, call me, Arlis."

"I'll take our bags," Corey said.

"Thanks, son," I said.

"Thanks, champ," Laramie added.

I heard Corey say something a minute later to others in the TV room.

I took a deep breath. Nothing much had changed. Mom and Dad were on their best behavior. Laramie seemed very welcome.

Then my siblings came out.

Before either could say something remotely questionable, Laramie stepped up to my brother. "Curtis, nice to see you!"

Curtis seemed startled. His mouth struggled to find a smile, but it did. It almost seemed to be a sign of relief for him.

"Judith, you look lovely. That color looks great on you."

I chuckled. Judith didn't get compliments at family gatherings. Laramie was throwing everyone curve balls, and I was relishing seeing my siblings be baffled on how to react. My boyfriend was a treasure.

"How have you been, Larry?" she said. "And thank you."

"I'm very good. The store's good ... doing well. Cooper just makes life wonderful."

"Does he now?" she said with loving sarcasm, looking at me.

I stepped over. We both hugged. It was a nice hug. "Hey, Judy." She didn't let go. It was the longest hug we had enjoyed in many years.

Compared to my mother's birthday last year when I left the house all but screaming, I was delightfully shocked.

"Where's Anita?" I asked Curtis.

"She's ... uh ... she's not joining us today."

Oh. That said a lot. My younger brother's expression was all but ashen. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"We'll talk," I whispered.

 

Laramie

"Is the store staying busy?" Cooper's father asked me.

"Yes, sir, Mr. ... Arlis. It is. Fortunately, my old boss, the previous owner, likes to come in a couple days a week to help out. I think he likes getting out of the house."

"Are you in a position to take on more help?" he asked.

"I'm getting there. It would make it easier to get away. I'm sorry that Cooper had to wait on me today. I needed to go in for at least a few hours."

"Oh, no worries."

I noticed Cooper had gone into the kitchen to assist his mother. I momentarily felt alone in the house. Not that I needed him as a flotation device to keep from sinking, but we worked well as a pair. Judith's husband hadn't left the TV room. Curtis returned, and the boys were in there as well. Judith and I were alone for a minute.

"How have you been?" I safely asked.

"Good. Fine." Judith paused. We didn't know each other well enough to really dig into anything deep. She dove first. "Cooper looks good. He seems happy. Your doing, I take?"

"Oh, jeez, I don't know if I could take credit for that."

"I do." Judith motioned me to sit on the couch. "After Cooper's AA meeting in January, he and I talked. It was a nice night. He shared some things about ... you."

"Uh oh."

"Nothing bad. I did some soul-searching after that visit. During his share ... at the meeting, you know ... he commented that he no longer felt like a waste of space. I worried that our family hadn't done him any favors. When he struggled with alcohol, we didn't arrive with support and love. It was pretty judgmental. Mitch was a rescue for him."

"Yeah."

"You make him happy, Larry. I'm glad my brother is happy again."

"You have no idea what he has done for me. Your brother is the most wonderful man I've ever met."

"Let's not go that far," Judith joked.

"I loved someone deeply in college. More than 12 years ago. I never thought I would love anyone as much as that again. I just figured that was my one chance."

"Why? You're a handsome man."

"Guh. Not like ..." I used my thumb like a hitchhiker to point at the kitchen. "But I've tried a few times. It just didn't work out. Growing up on a farm in Kansas, I ..."

"I guess I didn't know that about you. When did you move?"

"Um. 2016? Yes, 2016."

"Okay."

"I stayed back in Eureka — small town ... small town — my mom's health wasn't great. I stuck around."

"That was kind of you."

"I guess. Her health improved considerably. I just needed to ... be on my own."

"Any brothers or sisters?"

"One." That wasn't true. I was ashamed I answered that way. "Um. Two. We lost Phillip a year before I moved."

"Oh. I'm sorry. That must have been terrible."

"It hit our family pretty hard. Things changed."

"I can imagine. How terribly sad. I'm sorry."

"I buried myself in my work and buying a house and paying bills and ... all that. Then Cooper bumps into me in a coffee shop. We were great friends, and then ... I just found him amazing. We were supposed to just be friends; I tried to stay out of his way when he was patching things up with Mitchell. We didn't plan to, but we just fell for each other."

"He's happy," Judith smiled.

"I am too. I don't feel I deserve to be this happy." I paused. "Sorry, I'm prattling on."

"Would you like some iced tea?" she offered.

"Sure. Unsweet if that's possible."

After she headed to the kitchen, I slightly smiled. Cooper had said he and his sister had been closer lately. I felt she and I made small inroads there. I appreciated her taking time to just talk to me. His family was nothing compared to mine.

There was a knock on the door. I was the only one in the living room. Cooper's father was back in the garage. The rest were in the kitchen or the TV room.

"I'll get it," I said, although I didn't know if anyone heard it.

I opened the door. It was Cooper's uncle, Randy.

He chuckled. "Larry ... right? I ... wasn't expecting you to answer the door. It's nice to see you."

"Thank you. You too."

I remembered Cooper liking his uncle. Even though he was a preacher of some kind, the two of them were fairly close.

"So," he started. "From what I've heard, you and Cooper are ..."

"We are."

"I wasn't sure what to call it. I hated to say you were `a thing.' That would have sounded silly," Randy said.

"The actual term would be `in love,'" I said. "We love each other very much. He makes me very happy."

"That's my nephew. He's a kind man."

"I couldn't agree more."

 

Cooper

Judith was putting ice in a glass.

"Larry said unsweet. Does that mean he doesn't put anything in it?"

"He doesn't. Is that for him?"

"Yes."

"Are you being nice to him?"

"I'm nice! Like you have to question it."

"I suppose if you put effort into it, you can attempt it."

Judith threw an ice cube at me. We both laughed. I hugged her from behind.

"Thanks," I whispered into her ear.

"Mom, I think I hear Uncle Randy," Judith said.

"Oh, he's here."

We all went out into the living room.

"Hi, sis. Happy birthday." My mother and her brother hugged. He put a small gift on the table with other presents and cards. "Where is everyone?"

"Most are in the TV room. It's the end of a movie they were watching. Dad's in the garage," Judith answered.

"I'll go say hello to Arlis first," he said.

Judith handed Laramie his tea. We all sat in the living room. Mom was taking a break from dinner preparations.

"Dinner smells wonderful, Mrs. Snow," Laramie said.

"Thank you, dear. It's a roast. We'll eat around 5:30. Some of the family will have to drive back tonight. And please, call me Faith."

Laramie and I sat close on the couch. I was determined this relationship would be more authentic than the few times Mitchell had to suffer through. It still baffled me that my family never gave Mitch a chance. Maybe Anita had set the tone.

I had to assume that things had not improved between Curtis and Anita after Christmas.

"Where is your family, Laramie?" Uncle Randy asked, trying to make conversation.

"Back in Kansas, sir."

"Is that where you grew up?"

"It was."

"I'm hoping to meet them soon," I said.

Laramie stiffened next to me. He was dead set against returning to Kansas.

"That would be nice. I'm sure they would love to meet you, Cooper," my mother gushed.

"It's quite a drive," he flatly said, turning to look at me. "Not that they wouldn't love Cooper. What's not to love."

"Shall I start a list?" Judith said, again throwing sibling snark my way. I threw a pillow at her.

"You two!" Mother scolded.

"My brother Grayson is getting married this year. I'm sure I will head down for that."

"Wonderful. Is he older or younger?" Judith asked.

"I was the middle one," Laramie answered. "He's the youngest."

I prayed, I prayed, I prayed mother or Judith wouldn't ask about Phillip. I just wanted Laramie to be comfortable. So far, my family was being strangely acceptable. Luckily, no one pressed further about the older brother.

"Do you and Dad have any travel plans, Mom?" I asked.

"I've always wanted to go to Savannah," she said. "I'm not sure I can get your father away from the garage and his workshop."

"Be thankful he is busy. My former boss isn't handling retirement as well," Laramie offered.

"I suppose. I just figured we would do more sightseeing around the country when he retired. Is Kansas worth seeing?"

"Heavens, no. I suppose in the summer the green plains or fields of sunflowers can be pretty. But it is flat, flat, flat. Flat and dull."

"What a proud ambassador of your birth state you are," I joked.

"Just telling the truth."

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. For my old home, that was pretty daring. No one got too fidgety. My family was growing. Judith had already seen me kiss Laramie the night of my two-year chip.

"I think I'll check in on Arlis," Laramie said. He stood and held his glass to Judith and nodded in appreciation of her hospitality.

My face followed Laramie as he walked to the kitchen to enter the garage. It wasn't until he was out of view that I realized Mom and Judith watched me watch him. I slightly blushed. They smiled at me. I was sure they had something to say, but their silence said it for them. They watched me be happy. They enjoyed seeing me happy. I had been such a sad and broken person the past few years.

"You light up around him," Judith said with a grin.

My face was fully red, but I smiled back at her.

 

Corey Snow (14)
Laramie Jenkins (34)

 

Corey

I was glad I got to sit at Dad's and Laramie's table. Thomas was fine, but I liked talking with adults more. Thomas sat at the kitchen table with Grandpa, Uncle Curtis and his dad, Uncle Wayne. Aunt Judy was at our table and Uncle Randy. It was funny that I called him that; he was really Dad's uncle. There was probably a term for what he really was, but my family didn't care. He was always Uncle Randy to everyone.

He was probably the nicest of anyone in Dad's family. Everyone is really nice in Mom's family, but it wasn't as big. Still, I enjoyed my visits with both.

I didn't know why that made me think of Aiden. My friend never spoke well of his family. Maybe when all his relatives got together it was more fun. I felt sorry for him sometimes.

"Once again, dinner is fantastic, Mrs. Snow," Larry said.

She seemed to like compliments a little bit more from him.

"Oh, thank you, dear," Grandma said. "But, please, call me Faith."

He was right. Dinner was awesome, and I saw the desserts in the kitchen. I hoped they would allow me to have two, but I wasn't sure. Since Mom wasn't here, I might have a better chance.

"Corey Bug, do you need more mashed potatoes?" she asked.

"Yes, please."

"Did you know he wrote a paper about me a couple months ago," Grandma said to Aunt Judy.

"He got an A," Dad said. "It was an excellent paper."

I felt proud that they said nice things about me, but it was a little weird to hear adults talk about me. For some reason it made me feel like a little kid.

"It sure was!" Grandma bragged. "I will always treasure it."

"It was just an assignment," I softly said.

Enough about me.

"Mom and Daryl are getting married."

"What?" said Aunt Judy. "Wow."

It was hard to tell if my relatives were excited or shocked. I figured they would be happy for her. It probably came as a surprise, but it was good news. At least I thought so.

"Goodness. Well, that's ... that's exciting," Grandma said.

"When is the date?"

"Umm. They've set it, but I don't remember."

"July 8," Dad said. "I get Corey for two weeks after that. We'll take our summer vacation."

I hadn't put that together. It made sense, I supposed. They chose that date because of my time with Dad. They could take a honeymoon.

The grownups talked about Mom for a little bit. I knew my relatives missed her. She was part of the family for a long time. I sometimes wondered what it would feel like if Mom and Dad were back together. I missed it too.

 

Laramie

It looked like everyone in Cooper's family had finished their plate. I got up and picked up several to take them to the kitchen.

"He's so nice," Mrs. Snow winked at Cooper.

I thought Judith rolled her eyes, but she still told me, "Thank you."

"It was wonderful," I told Mrs. Snow. Again.

Corey got his plate and Cooper's. I asked if he would gather the silver too. He was happy to help.

We placed the dishes on the counter, and he put the silver in the sink. I noticed he went to the kitchen table and did the same for the gentlemen in there. They thanked him. When he returned with more, I had just about finished rinsing the plates from the dining room table. He saw a piece of fat on one plate and scraped it into the trash.

"Hmm. Think we should load them in the dishwasher?" I asked Corey.

"If it were my mom, I'd say `no,' because she has her way. But since Grandma is a normal person, we probably can."

I chuckled. Corey was only 14, but he seemed older than that to me. I had learned to enjoy my time with him more each day. Some guys might resent a child being in the way when they started up a relationship. I'm sure single parents had to contend with that a lot. I imagined they felt a child would make things too difficult to start a new relationship. As if Cooper didn't make me feel like the luckiest man in the world on my birthday, I knew I lucked out with a nice, mature kid like Corey. What if he was an ugly terror? That would make things difficult. I was indeed lucky.

But Cooper said he still has a lot of teenage years left. He wasn't counting his chickens yet. Deep down, he knew he and Natalie had done a good job. It was time for Corey to become his own man.

Everyone started getting up.

"Judy and I will clean the rest of this. We'll have dessert a little later," Mrs. Snow told the group.

That seemed extremely sexist to me, but the other men didn't seem to flinch.

"We'll be glad to help," I offered, which made a couple of the men turn to look.

"Oh, you're sweet. The gals have it," Mrs. Snow said.

Judith had a smirk on her face. She looked at me, rolled her eyes and mouthed the words: "Thank you."

Some of the males went to the TV room. Wayne went to the bathroom. Curtis stood, watching the sunset out the window.

"When does your Mom open gifts?" I whispered to Cooper.

"When everything's clean. The table must be presentable, and we gather around, and she opens them. Then we have dessert." He made it sound like an established routine.

Wayne came from the bathroom. He didn't join those in the TV room.

"Cooper. Wayne. Would you be willing to take a walk?" Curtis asked.

"Sure," we said.

"I'll get Uncle Randy," Curtis added.

"I'll let Corey know," Cooper said.

A minute later, Cooper and Corey returned. "Dad and Thomas started a show. They're staying. Corey will come with us," Cooper said.

"I will too," I said joining in with the men.

"Oh," Curtis said, with just a subtle hint I wasn't invited.

The sunset was beautiful, and it made for a lovely walk. The temperature had dropped into the upper 40s, but there was no wind, so we were fine in our coats.

Simple chitchat occupied the walk. The hints of spring's arrival. Mom. How much each of us spent. Corey's last choir recital in April. His change in parts because of his voice deepening.

"I thought you sounded more grown up," Wayne said.

Corey's face twisted in confusion wondering what "grown up" sounded like.

"So ... Anita," Cooper started.

"We're separated," replied Curtis.

"I'm sorry," Cooper returned.

"We ..." Curtis stopped. He looked at Corey. "Larry, would you and Corey be willing to hold back for a few minutes?"

"Uh. Okay," I replied.

We let them get about twenty feet ahead.

 

Corey

"So, what's it like being at the kids table?" I told Larry with sarcasm.

He laughed. "You're funny. You're a smart kid, Corey. You impress me."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, I don't have kids myself, obviously, but I see them from time to time in the store or out in public. They're either obsessed with their phone or surly or rude or a nightmare..."

"Are you saying I'm not normal?"

"I'm saying you're awesome! You know I think your parents are great. But they are very proud of you too. You've earned their respect."

"Did they say that?"

Larry was quiet. "Umm. In those exact words?? Probably not. But the way they speak about you and how proud they are of you ... you're growing into a fine young man."

"I don't know. Curtis asked you to babysit me back here."

"Well, to be honest, I'm not sure he wanted to include me either. Sounds like it was family talk, adult stuff."

"You're an adult."

"But not family. He doesn't know me well. I'm sure it would be awkward to talk around me."

We walked in silence for a minute. Perhaps Larry did feel pushed away. I wondered if he felt like he wasn't supposed to come on the walk. I did.

"Hey, Corey. Speaking of family, how do you feel about your mom marrying Daryl?"

"Fine."

"Wow. Such emotional enthusiasm," he said, embarrassing me.

"No. It's good. I'm happy for Mom. She's been alone awhile."

"She's a nice lady."

"For a mom," I said, making a joke. "It'll ... it'll be nice having another person in the house."

"You think?"

"When it's just two people, it seems sort of ... empty."

"I see."

"I like it when you are at Dad's house too."

"Aw. Thanks." Larry gave me the impression that made him feel good. "You don't enjoy time alone with your father?"

"Oh, sure. He's great. But I like ... more people around."

"Do you wish you had brothers and sisters?"

"Sometimes."

"You said `Dad's house.' Do you feel that your house with your mother is home?"

"Hm." I didn't want to answer. The real answer was `yes,' but that seemed like a slam at Dad. "Kind of. Yeah. It's the house I grew up in. With Dad ... we stayed at Mitchell's place, then his own apartment when they broke up and then the new house..."

"I see what you mean. But you feel the new house is yours too, right?"

"Sure. I guess. I'm just at the other house so much. I guess I just have all my junk there. Which Mom tells me to pick up all the time."

"Is it tough to go back and forth?"

"I'm used to it." That wasn't a good enough answer to Larry's question. It wasn't honest. "In the beginning, it was ... not tough but strange. It seemed weird to leave Mom to see Dad. After a while, I looked forward to seeing Dad. We had fun and enjoyed doing things together. But then I had to say goodbye. Each time."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. Thankfully, both of them are much better. Daryl makes Mom happy. You make Dad happy. I guess we all got over it."

"I imagine it's odd feeling like you have two families."

"I dunno. We always had Grandma and Grandpa Snow and Grandma and Grandpa Devry. It was like two families all along. In a way. I guess. The bad part was how people treated Dad."

"What do you mean?"

"They wouldn't say anything to his face, but like when we went to a soccer game when I got to junior high, some people would smile, but they didn't say anything. Occasionally they would move. One time, at my first choir concert that Mom and Dad came to, they sat in different places. I hated that. But then I saw someone look at Dad and get up and move several rows back. I saw it from the stage. I hated them for that. I felt sorry for Dad."

"Fuck them." I smiled, but Larry suddenly jumped. "I'm sorry. Please don't tell your dad I said that." I laughed. "He'll put me in detention." I laughed harder.

Larry put his arm around me. I put one around him. I knew my father had to go through a lot. I did feel sorry for him at times. He was so sad for so long. But he did a good job of choosing nice men as boyfriends. Mitchell cheated on him, but he tried to make up for it. I felt sorry for him too. One mistake, but it was a big enough one. I missed Mitchell. I wondered if he ever thought about me.

 

Laramie

I was surprised Corey let me keep my arm around him. Teenagers aren't always comfortable with affection. Perhaps our coats made it feel less personal.

Cooper at one time told me it was easier to talk to kids when you were preoccupied with something else — a drive, a walk, an activity. Corey had really opened up to me a bit during the walk. His parents were super proud of him, and I had to admit I was beginning to feel that too.

"Have you and your Dad talked about your summer vacation yet? It will be right after the wedding. Where do you two plan to go?"

"We haven't really talked about it." Corey paused. "Will you be coming with us?"

"Gosh, that's time for you and your dad to be together. Would you want me there?"

"Sure. We took a trip with Mitchell, and the three of us had lots of fun. I'd like it if you were there."

"Dang you, Corey. You are as easy to love as your dad. I'll see what my schedule will allow. If your dad would be okay with it, I ... I think I'd like that."

"Well, you should be there. You're the most important person to him," Corey said.

That made me stop. I let go of us and grabbed his arm to make him stop too. He looked confused. I squatted down and looked directly into his eyes.

"No. I'm not. You're 100 times more important than me. You are everything to your father. He loves you so much. And I think you know, but I do too."

I was expecting some sort of backlash of being mushy.

"Hey guys! You can catch up to us now!" Cooper called out.

I was rescued.

In my worst British accent, I performed for Corey: "Oh my! The royal family has decreed that they will be allowed to be seen with us lowly commoners."

Corey laughed hard.

"Love you too," he said and then ran up to the others.

Damn it. What is it with this Snow family who always made me tear up.

 

—

 

Some of us stood as everyone else sat around the dining table. Mrs. Snow placed the flowers I had given her in the center of the table. One by one she opened gifts and cards. She gushed over each one. It was a family ritual that was probably overly dramatic, but it was a tradition, nonetheless. Heaven knows I had none with my family.

Cooper was anxious as she opened his gift. It was a piece of pottery that Jakob had recommended that Cooper could pick up at the Jackson Bend store. His taste seemed to be batting a thousand as she loved it. I liked seeing Cooper smile.

"There's a second one," he said.

"Two?" Mrs. Snow said.

"I know, right? My birthday was Tuesday and he showered me with gifts."

Mrs. Snow looked at me. "It was? I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

I was caught off guard. "Oh. Don't worry. You've only known me a few months."

She got up. "Let me make a note of that so I don't forget next year." She walked to the kitchen.

Her children exhaled a sigh and rolled their eyes, frustrated that she could have done that afterward.

Next year.

She said: "Next year." She pictured Cooper and I together long term. She wanted that. Bless her heart. How could Cooper think his family was a mess? They were everything mine was not.

She returned to rip open the paper on Cooper's second gift.

"It's not much," he said.

She pulled out a picture frame. "Oh, look at all of you."

She showed it to the room. It was a picture of the day we went sledding. It was different than the one in Corey's room. It had Corey, Natalie, Daryl, Cooper and me all in it. Once again, a nicely composed photo. I wished we could find that stranger again that took them for us to thank him.

"We went sledding in January," Cooper said.

"It was so fun!" Corey beamed.

"It sure was," I said.

"I wanted you to have a picture of all of Corey's family," Cooper said.

All of Corey's family.

ALL of Corey's family.

Damn it. I stepped back into the living room to get a tissue. I dabbed my eyes and stuffed the tissue in my pocket and quickly re-entered. In that moment, I felt a part of the family.

But it had only been three months. I was bound to ruin it at some point.

After the last gift was opened, Mrs. Snow led us to the kitchen. Three desserts awaited. A cherry pie, a German chocolate cake and a coconut cream pie. They all were homemade and looked amazing. Before we sliced any of them, a candle was placed in the cake, and the family sang. Corey moved close to me, and the two of us harmonized beautifully. Judith and Wayne looked at the two of us and smiled.

 

Corey

"Can I have all three?" I asked.

"Yeah," Dad said sarcastically. "Call your mother and get her permission."

"Fine. Whatever."

I noticed Grandma winked at me. I knew I would at least get a second.

"We need to eat fast," Uncle Wayne said to Thomas. "We still have a drive."

A few bites in, Larry said, "This is freakin' fantastic!" He looked at the coconut pie. "Goodness, Mrs. ... Faith. You're amazing. What's in this?"

"My mother taught me how to make cream pies when I was growing up."

Larry looked lost for a second.

"That's sweet. My father taught me how to carve," he said.

"How nice," Grandpa said.

"You should see the sculpture he made us. It's really good," I told everybody.

"I have a picture on my phone," Dad said.

Larry looked surprised. Dad found it and showed everyone in the room. People seemed impressed.

"It's called `Father and Son.' That's supposed to be me."

"It doesn't look like Corey," Thomas said.

"It's abstract. It doesn't have to be an exact likeness. It represents me."

"Well. Someone has taken an art class," Uncle Wayne said, sounding impressed.

We finished desserts, and I thought I would be nice again and collect plates.

"Thank you, Corey Bug," Grandma said and kissed me on the cheek.

Thomas noticed the attention. I think he wanted to be like me and collected the others.

We tried to find places in the dishwasher, but they wouldn't all fit.

"That Larry man is nice," Thomas said.

"Yeah. I like him a lot."

"So ... he and your dad are ..."

"A couple. They're in love."

"Is that weird?"

"No. It's normal. The two of them make each other happy. That makes me happy."

"Do they kiss?"

"Yeah."

"In front of you?"

"Yeah. Don't your parents kiss in front of you?"

"Oh, sure." Thomas paused. "Not as much as they used to."

We went back into the living room. Some of them were preparing to leave.

Uncle Curtis left first. "Call me if you need anything," Dad quietly said to him.

That didn't sound good. I could tell something was wrong from the walk. I guessed Uncle Curtis didn't want me to know.

Uncle Wayne and Aunt Judy were getting their coats. We all stood near the door as they prepared to say goodbye.

"Thank you for everything," Grandma told them. "You spent too much."

"Birthdays are better when they are special," Larry said.

"I am sorry I didn't know about yours," Grandma told him. "I would have liked to have given you something."

"You don't realize it, but you said something today that was the greatest gift you could have given me." Larry kissed her on the cheek.

Grandma looked confused. "I can't imagine..."

Aunt Judy leaned into Dad. "Is he for real?"

Larry and I both heard his comment. He smiled at her.

"Ohhh, Judith." Larry stepped over to her. "It was good to see you," and then he kissed her on her cheek over and over.

We all laughed. "Stop," she said, waving her arms at him, but she giggled the whole time. We all knew she thought it was funny.

Everyone said goodbye and the door was closed.

"Randy," Grandma said. "We were thinking of playing cards. Can you stay a bit?"

Yes! I loved it when we played games.

"Spades? Like when we were younger?" he said.

"I'd love that."

I didn't. I didn't know how to play that. I didn't want to be left out.

Thankfully, I wasn't. They explained the rules to me. We were placed in pairs. I wanted to be paired with Larry like we were when we played Pictionary at Christmas. Dad asked if I could be his partner. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Grandpa was pleased to have Larry as his partner. Grandma and Uncle Randy were the other pair.

All I cared about was not coming in last. It took me several hands to get the hang of bidding. The rules weren't too complicated, but they all knew what they were doing more than me. I heard them talking about strategy, and I had no idea how to do that.

Dad and I came in last but just barely. It was only by a couple of points. I knew I would do better next time. I was happy Grandma won on her birthday.

"I think I'll have another slice of pie," Dad said.

"Yes!" I screamed. I was a bit too loud with that shout, but everyone knew I was having a slice too. A la mode.

 

Laramie

Cooper was setting up the sleeping bag and things for Corey to sleep in the TV room. He said that would be more fun than the couch.

Mrs. Snow had begun turning out lights throughout the house.

"Is there anything I can help you with," I offered.

"Oh, no. Everything's put away. Thank you."

She stepped back into the kitchen. She came back out a few seconds later.

"If you need anything in the middle of the night..."

"Like another slice of coconut cream?" I smiled.

She slapped me on the arm. "You!"

We laughed.

"No. Like water or something. I left the stove light on."

"I hope you had a nice birthday, Faith."

She gave me a gentle hug. "I did. I'm glad you were here."

Cooper came out to the living room.

"He's all settled."

"Good," Mrs. Snow said. "Do I ... need to get anything else out..."

"No, Mother. We're fine. Both of us will be in the guest room."

"Yes. Yes, of course. Well, good night."

The last light was turned out as we rounded the corner toward the guest room at the end of the hall. We took turns brushing our teeth in the hall bathroom.

As we shut the bedroom door, Cooper turned on a night lamp. The room was lit just enough.

"I'm leaving my boxers on. I refuse to get anything on the sheets this time," I said. "I should probably be fully dressed with my coat still on."

Cooper laughed. "You're fine. Besides, my body is still recuperating from Tuesday."

We crawled into bed in just our underwear. Cooper turned to me.

"You have some kind of magic here."

"What does that mean?"

"This was an awesome visit. You ... you have some kind of magic over my family."

"Oh, whatever! They're nice!"

"They were today."

"The bitchy one was gone. Maybe that was it."

Cooper snorted. "I think my mother adores you. Even Judith was nice — er."

"She's fine. I do agree she was better than at Christmas, but I've seen her since then too."

"And she knows I love you. I loved watching her flail her arms at you."

Cooper turned out the light. We kissed each other. There was enough ambient light coming from outside that we could turn toward each other and see each other's face.

"I'm sorry Curtis pushed you off on Corey."

"How's that situation?"

"Not good. It looks like they are moving toward a divorce."

"Sad."

"I know. I feel bad for my brother. I know very well what all that is like. What did you and Corey talk about?"

"Global warming and women's rights in the Middle East."

Cooper snickered. "No. Really."

"He's a really great kid, Coop. We just talked about family. I don't know what it is with the Snow clan, but you all have a way of making me tear up."

"Oh?"

"I thought it was touching that your mom wrote down my birthday for next year."

"So?"

"She pictured us still being together next year!"

"Don't you?"

"Cooper, the way I feel ... I hope we're together forever. I've never felt love like this."

"More than Freddy?"

"More than Freddy. And ... instead of Corey being in the middle of it, he's like ... the extras on a DVD."

"That's a flattering analogy," Cooper deadpanned.

I laughed. "Yeah. That was lousy. He's just that extra special ... unexpected something. I love him."

"And he loves you."

"Yes, he does. He made me tear up too. Your mom did. This whole family makes me feel welcome."

"I'm glad."

I thought again about what Faith said and her mother teaching her things when she was young. I couldn't think of one thing Mom really had taught me. Obviously, there were the simple tasks of raising kids. She did that. I couldn't remember a specific thing she taught me how to do. Of course, in my teen years, her health started to turn.

Cooper's phone made a ker-plook tone. He looked at the text.

"It's from Judy."

Cooper read it and showed me.

"You've chosen wisely, brother. Larry is very nice."

"See! There's some hellbent crusade to make me all weepy around here. Before the Snow family I was never like this."

Not that her message made me teary, but it was nice to see her say that. I was glad that she and Cooper were closer again. I was jealous. As much as I loved my brother Grayson, I didn't feel all this warmth when with my family. Shit. That had been so many years ago. Our family had just drifted. And I was the cause.

A second message came in:

"I have been told that I apparently don't kiss Wayne enough."

"What does that mean?" Cooper texted.

"I have no idea."

Cooper stared at the text, not knowing what to make of it. "My family."

As much as I had dreaded it, I needed to strongly consider being with my family again. There would always be a reason to put it off; I wouldn't do it if I didn't make a firm decision.

I put my head on Cooper's chest. My arm rested on his belly. He reached over to hold my finger.

"I'm sorry I've been a softie this week," I told him.

"You can be a soft, squishy, mushy, sentimental idiot and I still wouldn't care. I love you."

"I'm still butch, though. Right?"

"Totally. And sexy as hell."

"Don't say things like that. I can't get hard here. Neither of us can."

"Too late."

I reached down to find Cooper's dick had become a total tent pole in his boxers.

"I got hard the minute you put your head on my chest."

"Well, put that away before you get me into trouble."

 

 

April 19, 2023

Laramie Jenkins (34)
Grayson Jenkins (31)

Laramie

"Tell me I'm not making a mistake, Gray," I told my younger brother.

"It's all good. Stop worrying about it," he answered. "Good grief, Laramie. You'd think seeing your family is the same thing as going off to war."

While he was correct — it was just seeing family — my stomach was still tied in knots over the whole thing. After more than six years since seeing my parents, it had now built up so much that doing so was scary. I just didn't want to do it. Part of it was how I knew they would make me feel; part of it was I knew that I was horrible son for waiting this long.

"I'm just ... nervous ... and worried ... and just completely dreading it, to be honest. I've been such a bad son."

"Why do you say that?"

"I haven't come home in over six years."

"They haven't come to see you either."

"I feel like the burden falls on my shoulders."

"The good thing is I will be there, you will get to meet Miranda, and Cooper is going to be with you."

"That scares me too."

"I thought you and Cooper got along great," Gray said, confused.

"Oh, we do. His family treated me so nicely last month. I know I'm going to be embarrassed by Mom and Dad. Please ask them to be nice, Gray. Please!!! I beg you."

"Why wouldn't they be nice?"

"We're a gay couple!!"

"They know that. They've known you are gay for a decade now. That's not news."

"But will they be nice to him?"

"I'll say something to them. I'm sure it will be fine. At least he is by your side to support you."

"Yeah. He is. He will be."

Jesus! I was in hell. If Mom and Dad didn't care if I lived or died, what would they think of a boyfriend? Not to mention, what would we do there?? There's zero to do in Eureka. Nothing. We'll be stuck the whole time with Mr. and Mrs. Opposite of Fun.

My heart was pounding. I took a deep breath. I tried to calm myself down.

 

Grayson

Larry was totally freaked. I wasn't expecting this to hit him so hard. Were his feelings toward our parents so dark that it was bad for his health? What had they said all those years ago to make the situation so harsh. Why did he feel so estranged from them?

"Hey, Lar'. Just so you know, I'm very excited to meet Cooper. This is going to be so cool. He sounds really nice."

"He is. He's totally wonderful."

"Even Miranda is excited to meet him."

"She hasn't even met me!"

"Ha. She's excited to meet both of you. She has one other set of friends — gay — who she totally adores. I've met them. They're great." He paused. "Is he there with you?"

"No. Wednesdays are his AA nights. I think I've mentioned that to you."

"Yeah. Right."

"I'll ask you not to mention that to anyone."

"Of course. I'm not that dense."

"I'm so grateful you are so open minded, Gray. You have no idea how much it means to me that you accept me."

I thought Larry sounded less stressed the more we talked. I didn't think Mom and Dad needed any coaching on how to be polite, but I'd make mention of it to them.

"Cooper's mom made pies. Think Mom would make a pie?"

"I'll ask."

I could hear Larry taking deep breaths. Thank heavens Cooper was traveling with him. Otherwise, I fear he might have a heart attack while driving.

"When do you guys take off?" I asked.

"Cooper has to work until 5. Since I'm taking off Saturday, I should stay that long as well. I think we can make it as far as Kansas City. Then we'll get a hotel. We should be home by lunch on Saturday."

"Okay. Keep us posted." I paused. "And, hey, being nice goes both ways you know."

"Meaning?"

"Try your hardest to be nice to them too."

"I'm always fucking nice."

"There it is."

We both chuckled. That was probably good for him to laugh.

 

Saturday

Laramie
Cooper

 

Cooper

The alarm went off. Laramie groaned in disapproval.

"Did you sleep okay?" I asked him.

"Are you kidding? I flipped and flopped all night. I'm sorry if I kept you up."

"You didn't. How much sleep do you think you got?"

"A few hours. I'm a crazed mess."

I kissed him. "It's going to be fine. I know I'm excited to meet Grayson."

"He's excited to meet you too. He's great."

"Would a blow job calm your nerves?"

Laramie laughed. "God, I'd love that, but ... I'm too worked up to even get it up. Plus, I have to pee."

He came back to the bed. He saw that my dick was hard and jutting upward. The evil look on his face was one of both disapproval and enthusiasm at the same time.

He couldn't resist and swallowed it whole. I groaned. I wondered if anyone in the next room could have heard. I reverted back to the days of when Mitchell and I had quiet sex.

I looked at the clock wondering if we really had time to do this. I probably started something we shouldn't have. 8:55.

9:05. My erection in his mouth was so stimulated that it had far passed the morning desire to pee. Thankfully I had earlier at about 5:30. I reached over to find his penis. I was pleased that he had managed to let his thoughts put anxiety aside. He was a brick.

9:10. I was jerking on his dick while he continued to suck mine. One felt so good in my grip. The other felt so good in his mouth. "Sooooo nice, hon'," I whispered.

9:15. He kissed me with a bit of my cum dripping into my mouth.

9:20. His erection thrust into my throat. His fingers fiercely gripped my hair with one hand; the other held the cheap headboard as he fucked my face.

9:21. "Coop. Oh yeah. Coop. Coop. Coop. Oh oh oh oh. Ungh!!"

9:22. I drank the rest of the bottled water next to me.

"Feel better?"

"I suppose. Certainly not worse." He leaned down to kiss me again.

"Good. Now hop in the shower. I've delayed us."

Laramie was quick. He was out in five minutes, and I hopped in. He trimmed his beard while I showered. While I shaved, he loaded his bag in the truck. We were efficient with our time.

I dressed in my nicest jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I thought I looked presentable without being too stuffy. No need to be business-like. It was a farm. 9:48.

We went through a drive-through and scarfed down an Egg McMuffin as we continued on. 10:10. A small ice chest in the back seat had bottled water and some sodas. With his mood, I wondered if he would have preferred a beer. He had done the driving last night, so I offered to do some this morning. I was hoping he might drift off and get another hour of sleep.

He didn't.

Laramie didn't say anything for a very long stretch. He continued to look out his side of the vehicle. An arm was on the window; the other one rested on his leg. It kept making a fist. He'd shake it loose and then fidget. Then make a fist.

"You okay?"

"Unh-uh."

"Tell me."

"I hate this, Cooper. It's – it's – it's going to be bad. I'm so tensed up."

"It's family. It's fine. They love you. It's fine."

"Grayson does. I don't know what to say when I get home. I don't know what to do. I'm going to feel like I'm trapped. They will all look at me, and I will just be the bad son under glass for everyone to judge."

He started breathing heavily.

"I don't think this visit is good for me."

Laramie's hands really fidgeted. His weight shifted in his seat belt. He looked like the sheer definition of uncomfortable.

"Oh fuck."

I looked at him.

"Cooper, pull over."

"Huh?"

"Pull over. Pull over! PULL OVER!"

I quickly diverted the truck to the shoulder and decelerated to a fast stop. Laramie threw open the door and ran into the grass. I saw him lean over and heave heavily. I closed my eyes and was appreciative that I didn't hear a splatter in the grass. He coughed a few times and slowly walked back.

He leaned against the car with his arm resting on the open doorframe, his fist balled up.

"This visit is going to kill me."

I handed him a bottled water. He took a first drink, swished it around his mouth and turned around to spit it out.

"Hold on."

He walked back to reach into his bag and grabbed some mouthwash. I heard him spit, and then he returned to the front seat and shut the door.

We looked at each other.

"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this," he said.

I held his hand. "I'm here for you. We are together. You and me. Say that: you and me."

"You and me." He took a breath. "You and me." He exhaled. "Thank you."

"If your mother comes after you with a kitchen knife. I will defend you."

He laughed. I got his attention again. "I love you."

"Hold my finger," he said.

I did. We pulled back onto the road. 11:23.

 

—

 

It was pretty close to noon when his final directions to the farm had us pulling in on a gravel driveway.

We parked next to another vehicle. As we both grabbed our bags, the front door opened. A nice-looking man ran from the house. Laramie dropped his bag and gave the approaching individual a big smile.

"You're here!" he screamed.

Soon they were in a firm embrace. They held each other so tightly that the hug eventually toppled them to the ground. The two of them laughed loudly. I was just glad it was a patch of grass beyond the gravel.

They both stood.

"Cooper, this is my brother, Grayson. Grayson, Cooper."

I intended to hold out my hand, but Grayson gave me a big hug as well. I was startled but gladly accepted it.

"Thank you thank you thank you for making him come." Grayson finally released me. "It's so nice to meet you."

"Same here. Your brother says glowing things about you."

"Really? No sniping remarks? No putdowns?"

"Only good stuff."

Laramie smiled at the two of us.

 

Laramie

I was dreading this trip to my parents so much that I failed to realize how wonderful it would be to see Gray again. God, I missed him. Just seeing him before me made me feel so much better. I gave him another hug.

I noticed Mom standing in the doorway.

It was time to enter my old home. The two men most important to me were at my side. They were there to defend me if I needed it.

The porch steps seemed monumental. It was as if I was heading to the electric chair. What was wrong with me? I felt so judged, but it was my own doing, my own horrible-son judgement.

"Hi, Mom," I said, opening the door.

She looked much older to me. It had been more than six years since I had seen her, but her face, her hair — she looked older than the age she truly was. It immediately made me sad.

I gave her a gentle hug. "How are you?"

"I'm doing all right," she said, with not much certainty to her words.

Grayson and Cooper were right behind me.

"Mom, this is Cooper."

My mother looked him over from top to bottom.

"Oh my. You are a handsome one."

I felt Cooper was thrown by that. It sounded like a compliment, so he accepted it as such.

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Jenkins." Cooper shook her hand.

"You boys come in and sit. Can I get you some iced tea? I made a fresh pitcher."

"Yes, please," both Cooper and I said.

The two of us sat on the loveseat. Our hands rested between us. Cooper held my finger for support. I felt I was managing okay — with him next to me.

Mom came back a minute later and handed each of us some tea. She placed coasters on the coffee table in front of us. Gray had his own glass on the end table next to the sofa. The room was awkwardly quiet for a moment.

"Hey! Where's Miranda?" I asked my brother.

"She's with Dad. They went down to look at the cows."

"Not a farm girl, I take it?" Cooper asked.

Grayson laughed. "Ha! No, not at all. She loves the animals. This is her second time here."

"Maybe you can show me later," Cooper said to me. "I can't say I've seen a lot of cows myself."

"Did you grow up in the city?" Mom asked Cooper.

"Yes, ma'am. Jackson Bend isn't a huge city. It's very much a college town. But it's where I grew up. It's not really big enough to have a zoo. I don't think my son has really seen many animals outside of pets. We took him-"

"Oh? You have a son?"

"Yes, ma'am. Fourteen. There are times when he seems like he's 25, but other times he is still just a boy."

"He's awesome," I said. "I love him. He and I have a nice rapport."

"Do you have a picture?" Mom asked Cooper.

My boyfriend managed to pull up some pictures on his phone: Corey in his choir uniform, Corey at Christmas, Corey at a company picnic last summer.

Mom seemed interested in all that. Was she so enthralled with the concept of grandchildren that a 14-year-old boy qualified? And he certainly wasn't mine.

Then Cooper found one of us sledding.

"I love this one," he said. "This is from January. Laramie suggested we all go sledding on a snowy day. This one here is with my ex-wife and her fiancé."

"Yeah," I said. "This seems to be the year for weddings," I said to Grayson. "How's that going?"

"Fine. Whatever. I'm letting her handle it. Whatever she wants is fine with me."

"Typical male," I said.

"I should probably get things ready for lunch," Mom said.

"Should we go get Dad and Miranda?" I asked.

"I suppose so. Grayson, would you set the table first?"

"You guys go on," my brother said. "I'll be a few minutes behind you."

I was happy to have an escape from the house, although it had been fairly tame so far.

Cooper and I walked outside. The weather was in the upper 70s, wonderfully perfect. As we walked further into the farm, I pointed out the barn where my brother caught Charlie and me. He empathized with me that my first blow job blew up in my face. I pointed to some of the farm equipment. He asked if we could see them up close later in the day. He laughed as some chickens ran by us.

I saw the cows, but no people. We stood in place a moment and scanned the property. Eventually I saw them next to the pigs.

We walked up to them.

"Well, looky here," my father said. "Welcome home, son."

"Thanks, Dad." We shook hands.

"This is Cooper. He's – he's my ... my partner."

That was the first time I had said that. I hoped Cooper didn't mind. I hated the term boyfriend. It made us sound twelve. But ... partner. I was good with that. But was it true? We each had our own homes. We were only four months into our relationship. Did Cooper feel I was presumptuous to place us in such committed terms?

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Jenkins," Cooper said, shaking Dad's hand.

"Hi, I'm Larry. You must be Miranda."

She smiled at us.

"Gray goes on and on about you. It's nice to finally meet you," I said.

"Same here," she said.

The pigs started squealing about something, making us all look. Cooper smiled big. We watched them be restless for a moment. Cooper noticed some ducks walking away. He seemed entertained.

"Oh, we're here to fetch you for lunch," I said.

"Sounds good," Dad said.

We all turned. Grayson met us halfway back to the house. He put his arm around Miranda as they walked. I felt like I wanted to do the same with Cooper. As much as I dreaded this visit, I told myself that I wasn't going to hide anything while I was here. We locked arms.

 

Cooper

So far, the visit seemed nice enough. Laramie looked relatively calm to me, so that was a good thing. I wouldn't have said he was happy to be here, but he looked better than he did on the drive down.

His mother told us to wash up when we all reentered the house.

The six of us gathered around the table. Mrs. Jenkins had made sides of potato salad and barbequed beans. As soon as we entered the kitchen, I could smell the aroma of fried chicken. The meal almost reminded me of a picnic.

Laramie had told me his mother was a church-going member, but a blessing wasn't said before the meal. I noticed his mother handed the platter of chicken to his father so that he could choose the first piece. It was interesting to see hints of how Laramie was raised.

"Mrs. Jenkins, this is delicious," I said. "I'm not sure I can remember when someone actually served me homemade fried chicken. It's very good."

"Well, thank you, Cooper." She paused. "I was glad to do it." She didn't really smile as she said that.

"Laramie talks about the farm from time to time. It's nice to see where he was raised."

"I'm glad he hasn't forgotten about it," his father said.

Laramie oddly didn't jump into conversation. I finally gave him a curious look.

"I guess it hasn't changed much," he finally said.

"I bought some new machines to help with irrigation. It has helped a lot."

"Good." Laramie went silent again.

We continued to eat, but the conversation was much lighter. I wouldn't have termed his family as horrible as he made them out to be, but I could see the difference between his and mine. I had plenty of issues with my family, but at least there was a sense of ... well, family. We talked. For him not being here in over six years, it was surprising that he wasn't showered with questions or attention of some kind.

"You should see Laramie's store," I threw out. "He's done a great job with it."

"I noticed you call my brother Laramie instead of Larry. He always hated that name," Grayson said.

"Not when Cooper says it. Strangely. He kind of makes me think it's okay."

"Well, I'm glad. Thank you, Cooper. He was named after an uncle of mine. I always liked him," his mother said to me but then turned to look at my boyfriend.

"He passed before I was born. I never got to meet him," Laramie said.

"Well. I think the two of you make a beautiful couple," Miranda interjected.

I watched Laramie watch his mother shift her weight awkwardly.

"Thank you," Laramie pointedly said, almost like it was a verification.

Miranda asked about Jenkins Mantle, and Laramie managed a short conversation. It was a topic he knew everything about, so he went on for longer than he had at any time since getting here. He felt in his element for a moment.

His father seemed to look on with some interest.

"He took time during the busy Christmas holidays to carve me a present. It's a sculpture called `Father and Son.' It was me and Corey." I reached for my phone. "I have a photo here."

Mrs. Jenkins looked at the image but didn't say anything. Miranda complimented him on his talent. "Nice," offered Grayson. Mr. Jenkins asked if he could hold the phone. He stared at the carving for a while.

"You still whittle, huh?"

"When I have the inspiration." Laramie added, "And the time."

A few minutes of questions about the places Laramie used to work and a few people he knew from years back carried the conversation further.

 

Laramie

It was nice that Dad took an interest in my sculpture. It made me wonder if the one I had made Mom was still in their room or if it had been thrown out. I was too afraid to ask as I thought the answer might hurt.

Lunch was good. I'm glad Mom had made it. Had it been a bunch of store-bought things or if we had gone out to eat, I don't think it would have been as good an impression for Cooper. Heaven knows my family wasn't as friendly as his. Grayson was fine though. He was always a champ.

Mom took her plate to the kitchen. I noticed Cooper stood and helped out by collecting the others. Mom smiled at him for helping. It was the first time I noticed her really smiling since we got here. It made me realize she didn't smile when she saw me and hugged me. Or maybe I didn't notice. I was the horrible son after all. It seemed like all I did was find fault with my parents. Perhaps I was the problem. Most likely, I was.

I looked out the window and became lost in my thoughts. I didn't notice when they returned.

"I was told to make a pie," Mom said.

That snapped me back, and I looked at Grayson. He smiled back at me.

"It's apple. We have ice cream to go on top if anyone would like that," Mom said.

Everyone raised their hands. It made her chuckle. She smiled again.

Miranda went to the kitchen along with Mom to assist.

Minutes later, apple pie a la mode was being placed in front of each person at the table.

"This is excellent, Mom," I said.

"Thank you. I'm glad you like it," she said.

"Indeed. It's quite good," Cooper agreed.

I noticed Grayson observing me. He knew I knew he asked Mom to make a pie. Hopefully he knew I was pleased with both him and Mom.

Once lunch was over, Cooper and I carried our bags up to my old bedroom.

"So, this is it, huh?" Cooper said.

"Yep. Dad walked in during my first fuck when I was 24."

"I wasn't going necessarily for that," Cooper said.

Suddenly I grabbed Cooper's arms and pulled him in for a quick kiss. "Thank you for being here with me. I wouldn't make it without you."

"Hon', you're doing fine. It's going well."

While I couldn't disagree with him, I knew I didn't want to be here. I couldn't wait to get home. I placed my forehead against his. He reached down to hold my finger. I took a deep breath and whispered, "Thank you."

"Did you do this?" Cooper asked, reaching down.

The cat sculpture I did for my mother had been placed in my room.

"Yeah. I made it for Mom."

"It's big. Nice work, not that I'd expect anything less from you."

"Thanks." I looked around. "This is pretty much the room I left. They haven't really changed anything."

"Why don't you show me more of the place."

I didn't think the farm was that interesting, but I agreed to do so. We told the family that we were going to walk a bit. The screen door slammed behind us. It felt good to be out in the spring warmth again.

Cooper asked if he could get up on the tractor. I laughed. When he did so, I took a picture of him.

"I'm texting this to Emory," I laughed.

As we walked down to the pond, I grabbed Cooper's hand. Our fingers interlocked. He seemed entertained by the ducks. I was so used to animals growing up, they just seemed ... normal. Cooper acted like he was at a zoo and that each animal we saw was something amazingly exotic.

We had come from different worlds. Hopefully the world we were in now could adapt accordingly. With any luck, my past wouldn't ruin it. Of course, I would always have the present and future to do that. I loved him. That's all I cared about. I just wanted us to be happy.

"I called you partner when I introduced you to my dad. Were you okay with that?"

Cooper looked directly at me. "Yeah." He grabbed my wrist. "I liked it actually. So yes. I will do the same in the future. I think you know I am committed to you, babe. It's you and me."

"Until I mess it up."

"Stop that!" Cooper put his hand on my shoulder. "I love you. That won't change."

Cooper kissed me. For a minute we were just arms and lips in wide open spaces.

We walked to the barn. This time of year there were very few hay bales left. I pointed out the loft where Charlie and I explored our feelings.

Just then I heard Grayson yell for us. It gave me a momentary flashback of when he wanted to butt in when all Charlie and I wanted to do was kiss each other.

"Larry!"

"Yeah?"

"Mom wants to talk to us. Can you come to the house?"

 

Cooper Snow (39)
Barry Jenkins (59)

 

Cooper

We turned back, but Mr. Jenkins approached.

"Let me show you a few things around here, Cooper."

"Sure, I'd like that," I said. I waved to Laramie as I walked away.

He pointed to the fields in the distance and detailed what crops would be growing in each come summertime. He talked about the importance of rain. When we could see animals, he told me stories of the times that Laramie had named certain ones when he was young. I smiled hearing that story.

"We're having catfish for dinner. Caught it last evening from that pond over there."

"Wow. Do you do that often?"

"Not like I used to. Plus, I want the fish population to build back up. I fish about every three weeks. At least now. The winter months, not so much."

We walked back into the barn. He retold stories of Laramie hijinks in the barn when he was only a few years old. I doubted if Laramie remembered any of it. We stepped over to a wall. I noticed some markings. I soon realized there was a line for each son. There were height marks at each age.

"It was one of our birthday rituals," he chuckled. "They knew they would get measured."

"At what age did it stop?"

"I went all the way to 18. They were men then, no longer boys. Of course, once they became teenagers, they didn't care much for it anymore. They said it was childish, although they probably used some more choice words."

"Sounds like Laramie."

"Does he cuss around ya?"

"That he does. I think he is trying to get better. He is good around my son though."

"And what's he like with your son?"

"Laramie? He's great with Corey. The two of them hit it off. Considering Corey really loved my last boyfriend, I was worried that he ... might have hard feelings toward Laramie. Nope. They are the best of pals."

"Really? That's nice." He slightly chuckled in surprise. "Would you be willing to show me the carving he did again?"

I did. For some reason, I felt it really touched Mr. Jenkins.

"Where did the two of you used to carve?"

He motioned to the corner. We walked over to it.

"When it was hot, we'd open this here window hoping for a breeze."

I looked at a bench. I could see some wood shavings on the ground.

"Do you still carve?"

"Some. It lets me sort out my thoughts sometimes."

"Is that a work in progress?" I asked, motioning to something alongside the bench.

"It is. Usually I do more canes and walking sticks than anything."

"Oh? I haven't noticed you limping or anything."

"Ehh. They're not for me. The first one was for Dorothy. She needed help being stable for a few years. Now I just do them for people at a retirement home, or sometimes I take them to the VFW."

"That's kind of you."

"S'pose."

"I'm sure they appreciate them." I was worried to bring up the subject, but I treaded lightly. "And ... and how is your wife doing?"

"Okay." He paused. "There are some days that ain't so great. Better than it was all those years ago, but I still get worried when I see her all weak and things."

"I see. I hope things improve."

"First, they thought it was anemia. Now they think it is POTS Syndrome. Don't know if doctors know a damn thing when you get right down to it. Good days and bad days. We try to follow what the doctors say."

I felt bad. I knew when I was discussing things with Corey, if we were driving or walking or doing something, it was easier for him to talk.

"May I watch you carve?"

"Oh." He reached down. "I reckon that's fine."

"So, what are you working on?"

"S'funny. When I started out, I was going to do a rabbit. Not long after I started, I decided to make it a raccoon."

"It looks nice so far," I offered.

For a few minutes we didn't say anything. I just watched him work. It was interesting to see him take off big shavings, then refine the area into smooth curves. Some of the areas he had rough strokes to simulate fur.

"Thanks for bringing my boy home," he softly said.

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure if I should claim full responsibility. Grayson also asked. But I did think it was my doing.

"Sure."

He carved some more.

"I'm sure he never talks about us."

Not in a good way, but I couldn't say that. I didn't wish to lie either.

"Do you miss him?"

It took him half a minute to answer. "Yeah. Yep, I do," he softly said.

"You should tell him that."

 

Barry

"I prob'ly should," I said to Cooper.

We were quiet some more. I wasn't sure what Cooper thought of me. Of us. He probably had been told we were awful parents. Larry had probably told him we were unsupportive and unloving. There wasn't a damn good argument to debate him on that either.

Seeing my son stirred up some things that I didn't realize would affect me this way. I hadn't intended to tear up, but I found my eyes welling. I tried to stop, but for some reason, I couldn't make it stop. A tear landed in the wood chips on the ground.

"Sir?" Cooper had noticed.

"Don't mind me none. I ... I just have missed him."

"If I may ... that would go a long way with him. Laramie thinks you don't care. It's probably not my place to say that, but I think you both would probably benefit from him hearing it."

"S'prob'ly too late."

"It's never too late to know someone cares about you."

I wished that were true. Life — Larry — changed because of my mistakes. I had driven my son away. I knew he didn't feel loved.

"The thing is, men in my family growing up didn't express feelin's much. I can't say I'm really good at it."

"Mr. Jenkins ... Laramie has avoided coming home for years because he felt his parents didn't care. Isn't that worth the effort?" His words were soft, but they struck me.

"I ... I just don't know how to talk to my son anymore."

Cooper gripped the bench and shifted his weight.

"Do you say that ... because he's gay?"

"Yes and no."

"I don't understand."

"I'll tell you something I've never told nobody." I shaved off a big chunk. "When I was young, not a whole lot older than your own boy ... I was real close to my best friend. 16. The two of us had entered our junior year, not far from turnin' 17, the both of us." I made deep gashes to start putting fur near the neck of the raccoon. "I stayed at his place one night. We were boys ... talking about boys' stuff. School. The Chiefs. Girls... He asked me if I ... ever jacked off." More gashes, more fur. "He asked me if I wanted to. Together. I didn't feel comfortable about it, but I didn't want to look like a scared little kid. We did for sev'ral minutes. I wasn't real okay with it. Then ... he grabbed my pecker." Another big chunk of wood flew to the ground. "He held it. And – and – and I shot all over my stomach."

My eyes closed and my stomach felt twisted in knots.

"It's okay," Cooper whispered.

"No. It's not. It wasn't. I – I – I was immediately so ashamed."

I set my carving and knife down. I put my hands on my knees. I stared into the dirt and straw and wood.

"I wanted to run and wipe it off me. I was embarrassed that he saw it. Then he got on his knees and jerked himself and shot all over me, right on top of what I had done." I caught my breath as my heart was beating faster. "I – I felt so confused and scared and guilty and ashamed ... I didn't know what to do; I didn't know what to say. I ran to the sink in the bathroom and got a washrag and wiped m' body for ... for so long."

Cooper put his hand on my shoulder.

"We didn't say another word that night. It was hell. I was in hell. I could never say nothing to nobody. I felt all by m'self. But the worst part — the WORST PART — is that I wouldn't talk to him at school. I didn't know what to say. I – I – I just ... stopped being his friend. And I hated myself for not knowing what to do."

"I'm sorry," Cooper whispered.

"Can't say my family was real affectionate before, but that just made me more withdrawn. It's amazing that Dorothy found enough in me to marry me. I prob'ly did her no favors. She's probably more cold in terms of all that because o' me. Phillip dying just made it worse."

Cooper was silent. I imagined he was afraid to say anything. I was sure I came off as a crazy old man. The things I had just confessed would have thrown anyone. How was someone I just met supposed to react to all that?

"When I saw ... Larry ... with another man ... that's where I went. I didn't know how to talk to him. I didn't know what to say."

"Just say he means something to you."

"I'm sure it's too late for that now. It's gone too far."

"Do you want him to feel like he means something?"

"Yes! Course he does! He's mah son. I love `im."

"Then is it really that hard to tell him that. You'll both feel better."

"You can tell I ain't no good with words."

"They don't have to be the perfect words. The meaning is the same."

"I ain't never told that story to nobody. `m sorry."

"Don't be. It means something to me that you felt like you could share it with me. I've heard many people share their fears and mistakes with me."

I looked at him. I was confused. I didn't understand Cooper's statement. "Oh?"

"I guess Laramie didn't want to say this about me, not without asking me, I guess. I'm an alcoholic. I hear people share all the time at our meetings. It helps to talk about it. People are people. We're imperfect and make mistakes."

"I made my son want to leave."

"He thinks you wished he was the one dead instead of Phillip."

"I didn't think no such thing! I wished I were the one dead! He's my boy. I loved all my boys. And ... and I did a terrible job as a father. Otherwise, Phillip woulda come to me. Dorothy just thought there was some terrible person that was rotting in jail or commitin' a crime that deserved to be gone. Not our Phillip."

"And not Laramie. You need to tell him that. You can still make repairs."

Doing that scared me. I wasn't good at talking. I couldn't think of the right thing to say. Larry wouldn't believe me anyway. But if I wanted to consider myself a man, it was time I did it. I did want my son to forgive me of everything I'd done wrong.

"I'll try. It may be too late."

 

—

 

Laramie
Cooper

 

Cooper

Dinner was fantastic. I couldn't remember the last time I had fried catfish. They had both tartar sauce and cocktail sauce.

Two relatives had joined us. Aunt Amelia was an older sister of Mrs. Jenkins. Mr. Jenkins' mother arrived as well. The boys appreciated their grandmother's banana pudding with vanilla wafers. It was indeed tasty if not the greatest dessert in the world that they implied. Their compliments made her happy though.

Amelia had brought a salad and cheesy broccoli/rice casserole, as well as a cake. Like lunch, everything was delicious. After visiting for a few hours, the older ladies headed on.

As we gathered in the living room, Laramie asked if we all could play Spades. Apparently playing with my family rekindled an enjoyment he had of the card game from his younger years. It wasn't quite as competitive as my family, but Miranda had a fierce streak behind her when she wanted to. She caused all of us to laugh. That felt good. As did a slice of cake with ice cream.

Laramie's lack of sleep started to hit him around 10 o'clock. "I should probably turn in," he said.

"That was fun," Grayson said.

"Yes. Yes, it was," their mother said. "I enjoyed it."

Once again, a rare smile came across her face.

As the four of us had to share a bathroom upstairs, I quickly brushed my teeth and took a final pee. Laramie did the same right after me. The other two probably weren't as eager to turn in as early as we were.

We closed the bedroom door behind us.

Laramie turned on his lamp, so I turned out the overhead light.

"Is it strange being in your old bedroom from when you were a kid?"

"It just seems smaller. After being in the master bedroom in my house for seven years, this just seems ... old and small."

We crawled into bed. The full-size bed was slightly smaller than the queen beds both of us had.

"How do you feel about today?" I asked. "I thought it went okay."

"I guess."

"What did your mother wish to talk about?"

"Ugh. That wasn't fun. She just wanted to talk about things `when she's gone.'" Laramie used air quotes for those last words. "Songs at her funeral, some personal things of hers, bank accounts she wanted us to be aware of..."

"Is she okay?"

"Nothing urgent or pressing at least. She just wants us to be prepared for whenever. She gets weak she says. Tired. They still don't know exactly what's wrong. Just when they think they have it figured out, it doesn't seem to take. Thankfully it is nothing like a decade ago. They at least got all that worked out. She's just a complex case."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Aren't all those things she wanted to talk about concerns she would tell your father?"

"I'm sure she has. She just wanted us to know too. She's worried he will have a hard time when she's gone."

"That's sad."

I had never really thought about my parents dying. I was reminded of my breakdown at Thanksgiving. At the time, I was so disappointed in myself for thinking I wouldn't miss my relatives when they passed. My, how much had changed since then. My family dynamics aren't perfect, but they have improved. Laramie had helped some with that.

"What'd you and Dad talk about?" he asked me.

I wasn't going to tell him his father's secrets; I would leave that up to the two of them.

"I watched him carve some. He told me stories of when you were young. He showed me the wall where you all marked your heights on your birthdays."

"Oh yeah."

I was quiet for a moment.

"I want to ask you to do something," I said.

"Hmm?" he mumbled, sounding sleepy.

"I want you to carve with your father before we leave."

"Huh? Why?"

"Just carve with him, okay?"

"We'll see. I suppose."

Seconds later, I knew he was asleep. I got out of the bed to go around and turn out the lamp. I kissed him on the cheek as I crawled back into the sheets.

"Love you," I whispered to his sleeping body.

 

The Next Morning

 

Laramie

I had no desire to be here. Cooper thought it would be nice for my mother if her children accompanied her to church. I didn't like being there. A few people from my youth smiled and waved. I politely smiled back.

I knew all the songs. Cooper knew a few from his church days. Miranda knew none, so something told me she wasn't a church-goin' gal.

I couldn't remember the names of most of the people that said hello after services, but several of them reintroduced themselves. Grayson enjoyed showing off Miranda, even though he wasn't wild about attending either. But Cooper was right; Mom appreciated all of us being there.

As we walked to the car, Cooper commented on the differences between small-town church and the city. He noted the song service was particularly noticeable — not in a good way.

We knew lunch had to be fairly quick. We needed to get on the road.

Sandwiches and leftover potato salad worked fine.

I looked at the clock. There was maybe twenty minutes to whittle with my father.

"Dad. Want to carve just a little before we head out?"

He smiled at me. "I'd like that, son."

Strained as our relationship was, that was a shared pleasure we both had.

"Babe, can you pack us up while I do that?" he asked me.

"No problem."

I heard Mom ask Cooper a few more things about Corey. My boyfriend was polite enough to indulge her grandchildren-oriented interest.

As they put dishes away, Dad and I walked to the barn. He showed me the raccoon he had been carving. I picked up a small piece. I didn't have anything in mind. I just started shaping a freeform.

We whittled in silence a bit.

"Son, there are some things I wish to say."

 

Cooper

I brought the bags down from the bedroom and loaded them into the truck. I had taken a quick look to make sure we hadn't left anything behind. With only one night, there wasn't the likelihood of doing so, but I checked thoroughly anyway. I had taken a picture of Laramie's cat sculpture. I texted it to Corey. I then texted it to Emory, telling him I missed seeing him. He was pleased the visit went as well as could be expected.

After more than six years, it had.

I noticed the two men walking back from the barn.

The rest of us were gathered near the front porch.

"Are we packed up?" Laramie asked.

"Yes. We're ready to roll."

Grayson looked at his brother. "Don't make it so long for next time, okay?"

"You're getting married in a few months. It won't be." Laramie gave him a big smile. The two hugged. It was a serious hug.

"It was great meeting you, Miranda," I said. She hugged me. I repeated the words and actions with her fiancée.

"Thanks for getting him here," Grayson softly said in my ear.

Mrs. Jenkins stepped down from the porch. She had a bag in her hand. "Here's a couple slices of Amelia's cake." She had placed two plastic forks inside as well. "You two take care now."

Laramie hugged his mother. While that transpired, Mr. Jenkins reached out his hand.

"Thank you, Cooper. Thank you."

I shook his hand and held it tight. I placed my other hand on top of our clutched grip. "Good to meet you, sir."

Laramie reached out his hand. His father pulled him in for an embrace. I noticed Mr. Jenkins gave an extra squeeze before releasing the hug.

It was time to go. I had placed a paper cup of iced tea for both of us in the truck. We were ready.

"Want me to drive or you?" I asked.

"I'll get us out of here. I'll start off. If I feel a nap coming on, we can switch."

We checked the truck bed. Once both of us were inside, Laramie started the car. We rolled backward down the driveway until we reached the gravel.

"So, are you glad you came?"

 

Laramie

Was I?

"I guess so," I said, looking forward and remembering Charlie and me reaching into each other's pants in the driveway so, so many years ago. "Thank you."

"For...?" Cooper asked.

"Thank you for encouraging me to come. Thank you for coming with me and being my support. Thank you for ... not hating my family and somehow making them tolerable." Cooper laughed. "Thank you for talking with my dad."

"How did that go?"

"We talked."

"Mm."

I thought about the talk. What had changed between us? What couldn't change?

"I guess ... I guess he told you a bunch of stuff," I said to Cooper.

"High school friend?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Cooper stayed silent, which surprised me. Perhaps he was letting me say what I needed to say.

"I suppose that explains some things. In a way. Maybe." I thought about it some more. It was an explanation, but it didn't serve as an excuse. "He asked me to forgive him."

When I didn't continue, Cooper looked over at me. "What did you say?"

"I said I appreciated him telling me those things. I said it wasn't a matter of forgiveness, it was me feeling unloved and unwanted for ten years. I couldn't just wipe all that away. Not just like that."

"I suppose that's justifiable, but at least the conversation moved things in the right direction."

"Yeah." I paused. "He said he wanted me to know he loved me."

"That's nice to hear, right?"

"Knowing how agonizing it was for him to actually speak those words ... probably. Yeah ... it was nice to hear. Deep down, I'm sure he never heard it from his father either."

"Different times, different environments."

It was straight road. I looked over at Cooper.

"What is it with farm men who can't express their feelings?"

"I certainly couldn't tell you. Dad wasn't overly affectionate with me, but he told me he loved me on occasion. If he was ever proud of me, he did in that moment."

"But not if he wasn't proud of you?" I asked back.

"I wouldn't say that. When I went off to college ... at Christmas ... on my birthday ... when I went off to camp ... probably some random times I can't recall. Mom said it more. At least until I told them I was gay."

"It changed?"

"It did. For a while. It has gotten better. You seemed to think they were nice."

"They are."

The road took a few curves. I paid attention to the asphalt as the lines marking the edges had all but faded away.

"That hug at the end..." I started. "Do you know that my dad has never hugged me before? Never."

"Never?"

"I can't recall a single time. Mom did some. Grandma always."

"She was a hoot."

"She's great. It was wonderful seeing her."

A few miles into town, I turned off. Cooper looked confused.

"I want to make a stop."

I pulled into the town cemetery. "I hope this is okay."

Cooper understood and nodded. Once we got out, he initially held back, giving me privacy if I wanted it. I took his arm and pulled it along. We walked arm in arm as I guided the way.

We stopped fifteen feet from Phillip's grave. I stepped forward. Cooper gave me a moment.

"Hi, Philip." I didn't know what to say. "I know I haven't been here in a long time. That doesn't mean I haven't thought about you. This is just a stone, but I'm still sorry for not coming. I do miss you. Wherever you are, I hope you know that."

I turned to Cooper and motioned him forward.

"This is Cooper. I want you to meet him. He's ... he's pretty terrific. I never thought I'd find someone as wonderful as he is." Cooper put his arm back around me. "I love him very much, and he loves me. I don't know if you would have been okay with that or not, but ... I – I – I wanted you to meet him."

I didn't know anything further to say. I turned and took Cooper's hand and walked us back to the truck.

Once on the highway, the drone of pavement lulled me into a hypnotic trance. I reflected on the good moments of the visit. There were some there that I enjoyed.

Going into this visit, I felt like a horrible son. I had ignored my family for so many years that the longer I had waited, the worse I had made it. But Dad helped absorb some of that. Him admitting he was not a good and loving father helped me let go of some demons of my own. I couldn't say I liked my parents more following the visit, but I felt like I understood them a little more. A little. Again, understanding isn't forgiving. Reasons aren't an excuse. I didn't feel like the bad son anymore. Or at least as much.

"Yeah. I guess I'm glad I came. It was nice to put some things behind me."

Cooper put his hand on my leg. "I'm glad." We held pinkies for a moment.

While things weren't ideal between my parents and me, I felt we had moved past a divide. The story wasn't finished, but a chapter seemed to reach its conclusion. Grayson's wedding was in a few months. I figured things would be fine when we were all together again.

When we got home, I would text Dad that we made it back safely. I would let him know I forgave him.

 

* * * *

 

I've written a new post for the blog: timothylane414stories.blogspot.com Look for "Kansas."

Email is welcome. Timothylane414@gmail.com