Date: Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:32:46 -0700 (PDT) From: Bob Archman Subject: Catfish does shakespeare 5 Catfish does Shakespeare 5 by Bald Hairy Man This is a story about gay men and gay sex. If you don't like that DON'T read it. You have been warned. It is intended for adults to read, not for minors. It is a fantasy, not a sex manual. No effort to portray safe sex practices has been made. If you have any comments send them to bldhrymn@yahoo.com or bldhrymn@aol.com. Rufus turned out to be a nice kid. I converted him from a virgin to a slut, but more importantly he learned that being an asshole wasn't a attitude to be emulated. He discovered the asshole was a sex organ to be used. As he left he had an odd look. I saw it as the hero worshiping look he had when Tony was in the room. I told him I wasn't much into love. "You like sex though?" he asked with a worried look on his face. "I sure do," I said. "I never get tired of it and I'd like to have few more play sessions with you." Rufus laughed and left with a smile. He was sensible enough to take sex without strings. Rufus was the kind of guy who had great enthusiasms, but he wasn't a fool. He had noticed Tony had a dark side. He was able to ignore them for a while, but he knew they were there and he wasn't a blind follower. He certainly wasn't going to drink the Kool-aid when the leader told him too. The girl I had met with Tony wasn't so lucky. I found out her name was Emma. Later, I asked Skyler if he knew anything about Emma and Tony. He knew all about her. "She played Rosencrantz in Hamlet. They didn't have enough men to fill all the male roles," he said. "It's not a major role, but she screwed it up. She has a serious problem with over acting. If she were playing your role as the wall, she'd try to do it like Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard. I don't know if Tony ever screwed her, but she's more than willing." "Would she be capable of sending the poison pen letters?" I asked. Skyler looked shocked. After a pause he spoke. "That is a possibility. She was really attached to Tony in an unhealthy way. She the kind of person who fades into the scenery. You never notice she's there, but she's always around." "Was she at CVU when they had the problems at the Theater Department?" I asked. "I'm not positive, but it's possible,"Skyler said. "As a matter of fact, I think I saw her in a college production of Antony and Cleopatra, she was Charmian, the maid. I think she was replaced when she screwed up. She seemed to think the play was Antony & Charmian. She had a nasty fight with Ophelia. Emma accused her of making passes at Tony to get the role." "What does she do now?" "I have no idea," Skyler said. That question was answered for me at lunch. I went to a local burger joint with Freddy and the elves. Emma was waiting tables. She didn't seem to recognize me. We weren't served quickly. A waiter showed up fifteen minutes later and apologized. "One of the waitresses got sick and had to leave. Sorry to make you wait," he said. We ordered and got fast service. He got a good tip from Freddy. Neither Fred or any of the dwarfs had gotten a letter, so it was clear it was a local problem. Samuel was a classic gossip and got along well with most of the crew. I told him I wanted to know more about Tony and Emma. It was the fairies night to rehearse so they went to the theater. As I was about to get up, Detective Wilson came in with an old friend of mine, Frank. Frank had worked with me for several years before he became a detective who did mostly white collar crime. He had been an accountant and was good with financial scams. I asked them to join me. I had a cup of coffee while they ate. Dean slipped me a note saying he wanted to meet with me later. After dinner we went to my apartment. "As I assume you guessed, someone murdered Maurice," Dean said. There was no question after the Medical Examiner's report. He was strangled, but thrown down the stairs while he was still alive. The Examiner thought he might well have been unconscious." "Attacked from behind?" "That is her guess. Maurice wasn't a strong man anyway. There were no injuries suggesting he tried to slow the fall or save himself," Dean said. "After our conversation I got several of the letters from Charlie, the director. "Standard ink jet printing." "But, not on standard paper!" Frank said. "The writer fucked up." "What exactly is non standard ink jet paper?" I asked. "Most people get their paper form Staples, or Office Max, but not the Commonwealth of Virginia," Frank said. "They put it out to bid. About eight years ago the company that got the bid substituted another paper for the one that they provided. It was 70% recycled content and they used a chemical additive to make whiter." "This is that paper? "It is. The additive gave people a rash, so it caused a minor scandal. It was recalled," Frank said. "Whoever used it had to have access to the paper between January and August 2001. It was only distributed to colleges and universities. The state itself had enough of the previous paper contract, so they didn't get any before the problem was discovered." "In Richmond that would be CVU and the community college, right?" Frank nodded. "There was one thing about the font too," he added. Windows used Ariel, or Times New Roman as their standard font. The head CVU's graphics department had a personal problem with Ariel, He liked Helvetica and was pissed at Windows for creating the Ariel rip off. He got the University to adopt his own font as the University standard, something called Virginiana. It was only used on University owned computers." "So it was done on a University computer?" "Or a former University computer," Frank said. "All of the 2001 computers have been replaced and the old ones sold as surplus. I went to the sale. Employees and staff had the first choice. It was pretty well picked over by the time I got there." "When was the sale?" "2004, the university adopted Windows XP and the old computers didn't have enough horsepower to run it," Frank said. Frank had to leave, but as he left he whispered, "Dean is ripe for plucking. He's horny as hell and interested in a trip to the wild side." He winked at me and left. I wasn't much in the mood to help the detective get his rocks off. When I returned to the living room we continued to talk about the case. Dean said he could track down the computer sales. He had a list of everyone associated with the play, or with Hamlet and the previous out break of poison pen letters. Dean had connected with the University Police and they had a big file of the earlier letter writing episode. He also had the complete cast and support staff list of both Hamlet and Midsummer's Night Dream. He could cross check them with the records from the computer sale. He went off to the bath to take a leak and came back dazzled. It was that kind of a room and it worked it's magic again. The atmosphere changed from being all business to more personal. Dean was inept at turning the conversation into a more personal vein. He was very tense and uneasy. I knew what he wanted, but he had no idea how to get it. As I said, I wasn't interested, but somehow having a needy man in need of relief in front of me brought out my charitable instincts. He returned the conversation to the bath. "It's so big it's almost another living room," he said. "I think of it as a play room," I said. "Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but most of the play in my shower isn't godly." Dean smiled. "Frank said you are a playful guy and you had a lot to play with." "That I do. Frank didn't tell me if you were playful." "Does horny count?" Dean asked. "It helps," I replied. "Let me be direct. I don't mind helping a guy out, but I like to have some fun too. If you just want a blow job, I'm not the man for you. If you want some rip-roaring man sex, that's more my line." "I'm a bit new at this, but I would like to try more," Dean said. "Well. Let's adjourn to the shower and see what pops up," I said. Dean had no problem getting naked. He had a good, toned body and nice equipment. He didn't mind showing it off at all. He would cut a good figure in the police locker room. Dean was curious, but I don't think he knew he was a size queen. I'm not sure he knew what he was sexually either. I think he had a really bad divorce and that effected his thinking. I don't think had had a clue as to how much he liked horse cocks. I'm a gay guy who loves men and cocks. I had a strong suspicion Dean had a fetish for large cocks. I've known men who liked big breasts but didn't like women that much. One guy I went to school with didn't really like women at all, but when he saw melon sized breasts he went crazy. Fortunately he married an woman with water melon breasts. That turned out well. I'm not sure Dean would have sucked me if I had an average sized cock. As it was he was almost my slave. He would do anything a wanted just to see it and have contact with it. Actually it wasn't just the cock he liked. My balls were good too. We stripped and got under the water. He came over to me and cupped my balls in his hand, then stroked my cock, peeling back the foreskin. He was cut, but was obviously a foreskin fancier. I got hard as a rock. We washed each other. He spent most of his time working on my cock. I made sure his ass was nice and clean. He clenched is ass to protect his hole, but I moved so he couldn't get to my cock. He got the message and opened his buns. I had no intention of fucking him that night, but I wanted him to know the score. I sucked him some and got to taste his precum. He did the same to me. He didn't just like it he loved it. I turned off the shower, we dried off and went to my bedroom. We sixty-nined for a while then had to cool down. It wanted some more quality time with his cock before we traded sperm. He was afraid I was done, but I reassured him I just wanted to catch my breath. He was relieved. "I don't know what's gotten into me," he said. "I've never done anything like this in my life." "I was kind of guessing you hadn't enjoyed anything so much before either?" "You're right. It was mind blowing," Dean said. "I had no idea. You're not my type at all." I laughed. "I may not be your type, but my cock is." "I'm embarrassed," he said. "No need for that. It was good for me and good for you so who cares," I said. "I've known some guys who get really turned on by big meat. They weren't gay. They just responded to donkey dongs." "Does that offend you?" "Not one bit," I replied. "It's kind of flattering." I leaned over and sucked his some more. He was hard as a rock. "Let me try something a little different." I said. I straddled him, positioned his cock at at my ass and sat on it. It was a good fit. The pressure on my prostate was good and got me even harder. I wiggled some on his cock and he stroked mine. He was in heaven. I figured he'd like it. He both got to fuck me and play with my cock. It was the perfect arrangement for a macho cock hungry man. I think it was safe to say Dean was in heaven. He shot off in my ass as I popped. His hairy torso was coated with my seed and he took it well. We broke apart after the ejaculations stopped and showered again. Much to my surprise Dean got in bed with me and we talked. The conversations was mostly about the case, but I had expected him to high tail it out of my apartment. After a while his hand strayed back to my cock and we had a second suck session. His interest in my cock had not diminished one bit. When he shot off I lapped it up. As often is the case, his orgasm induce me to shoot too. I warned him I was going to blow, but he stayed sucking my knob and got a mouthful. I think he did it just to be polite, but he really seemed to enjoy it. It took a lot for Dean to swallow a mouthful of redneck cum, but he did it. Of course I had an ass full of cop cum, so it all evened out, but he did well. He went home, but I knew he'd be back. The next day was our big rehearsal day. Our big scenes, the one in which Bottom changes into an ass and the Pyramis and Thisbe play itself needed final rehearsals before we were to be melded into the whole play. My vision of acting had been deeply flawed. I thought you learned your lines and then just said them. Maybe some actors do that, but Charlie, the director, and a vision for the play that included every movement and every facial expression. I was a small cog in a complicated mechanism he controlled. One of two of the actors balked, but as far as I could tell they weren't the best actors. Fred, who had double the experience of the rest of the crew didn't seem to worry one bit. He had played Bottom several times before and knew the words. Fortunately as the low man on the totem pole, I was to baldly recite my lines, as if I had barely memorized them. Charlie thought my accent and the costume would do the rest. The love scene between Bottom and Titania was a wild romp. Samuel played Titania and was just under four feet tall. Fred, who played Bottom was six four. Samuel did well, very well. He played the smitten Queen of the Fairies with flair and grace. I knew that he had spent some time doing the dance of love on Fred's pole. Samuel liked the bottom and Bottom the top. Robert remained bitter and a bit uninvolved. The two men playing Helena and Hermia had come around. I think they knew if the didn't get their act together they would have been totally upstaged by Samuel's Titania. Lance, who played Hippolyta was pretty in drag and played it straight. In the battle between the gay Queens, Samuel won hands down, but Helena and Hermia acquitted themselves well. All the dwarfs were there to give support to Samuel. He was the youngest of the group. Charlie actually took advice from David and Rudy. They were experienced actors who were helpful working out the full sized person and dwarf relationships. After about three hours things were going well. Theseus had just said, "Your play need no excuse," when the theater was rocked by a huge bang. I knew immediately it was an explosion. A second later smoke poured in from the front lobbies and the fire alarms when off. I had some experience with bombs and I knew this was much smaller than the explosion that blew up part of the city a few years earlier. There was a lot of smoke, but the emergency lights went on and for a group of what I thought were rather flighty actors, we evacuated the building quickly going into the rear alley. There was no panic. I went around to the front of the building. The main doors were blown out, but the rest of the front was fine. Smoke was pouring out, but there was no flame. The city Fire Department was there in what seemed liked seconds as were the Police. The Fire Department had suffered badly in the earlier disaster and I noted they established an HQ away from the site. The Chief was killed in the second explosion of the Temple Bombing. Rescue trucks were everywhere, and I saw some ATF cars. Charlie was hyper organized and had done a head count of the cast and crew. Everyone was accounted for. I thought the media was slow arriving, but two local channels had eyes in the sky nearby so there was live broadcast on the local stations. John, who was playing Theseus, was there to give an eye witness account. He gave a low key and reassuring report. He lived near the Temple and had been home when that bomb blew. John was the television morning man and was associated with snow closings and he been on air for 36 hours during the last hurricane. He was nothing if not unflappable and reasonable. He won an award for his hurricane coverage. "It stuck me as a small device," he said. "It certainly could have hurt someone, but it was nothing like the Temple bomb." "That was set off by terrorists." the woman interviewing him asked, "Do you think this is the work of foreign terrorist?" "That bomb was set of by home grown terrorist, not foreigners," John said firmly. "As a general rule, I don't think terrorists are into theater much. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say this either an accidental explosion, like a can of solvent, or it was a prank that got out of hand. Of course there is the possibility of a drama critic gone wild, but the play hasn't open yet." At that point Fred walked by in his Bottom costume, wearing a huge ass head. He gave the interview in costume and made quite a splash on the evening news programs. In the strange way that the world works, the next day we had an outbreak of advanced ticket sales. That night the bomb squad confirmed that it was indeed a bomb, not an accidental explosion. It was a pipe bomb and a Molotov cocktail taped together, but the bomb maker had use Diesel fuel, rather than gasoline. The Diesel smoked and eventually burned, but it did not explode. The bomb had been set in the ladies restroom. The bomb squad found finger prints on the Molotov cocktail. That was a shock to me. It was strictly Amateur Night. Of course this was an all male production with the only women acting working the lights and some of the costuming. The bomb squad assumed the person setting the bomb didn't want to hurt anyone. The bombing struck me as a poor choice, given the city's recent history with bombing. If you wanted to touch a raw nerve, a bomb was a sure fire way to do it. Neither the Fire Department, nor the Police Department were prone to be open minded about bombing. The objective might have been to touch the raw nerve. I struck me the bomber might not have been aware of the eight year old bombing of the Temple, or was a space cadet who didn't realize the significance. I thought about Tony's votaries. My computer guys went after the bomb and found the recipe on the net. Actually they did better than that. They found the original recipe and the incorrect recipe the bomb maker used. The original recipe was from a French Anarchist site. Someone translated gasoline as petrol and our bomb maker assumed it was any petrol, not just gasoline. That was what I thought. One of my friends pointed out a big truck stop north of Richmond was named Petrol. They had closed circuit television on the pumps at all times. The Richmond police got the tapes and went over them. That bore fruit eventually. Dean came over to see me that night. I was with David and Rudy. We were having a beer and going over the days events. He was uneasy with the dwarfs there, but I told him they were all right. "Let me go though this with you," Dean said after I gave him a beer. "We have poison pen letters, slashed tires and a suspicious man following a cast member back from a rehearsal. Then Maurice dies in a fall, and now we have a bombing. Is there any possible way these items can't be related?" "It seems likely to me, but there is a problem with modus operandi," I said. "Would a poison pen letter writer set of a bomb?" David asked. "Letter writing is passive, long distance, hands-off aggression. Pushing Maurice down the stairs was anything but hands off." "Someone, or some persons are twisted," Rudy said. "There is lots of jealousy and envy among actors, but almost no violence. We tend to act, but not do." "Perhaps there is a director and several actors," I suggested. "The play is shitty. It's confused and incoherent," Dean remarked. "Who would put on a play like that?" "The number of crappy plays is stunning," David said. "Good director's aren't that common either. I can't tell you how may plays I've been to that were supposed to the greatest play since Hamlet, that were total failures." "Every year there are multi million dollar productions on Broadway done by hot shot producers that fail miserably." "So we're looking for a shitty play directed by an inept hot shot?" Dean asked. "One more thing. The worst plays are written by directors," Rudy said. "How common are these no talent schmucks?" Dean asked. "A dime a dozen," David said. We continued discussing the alternatives. Dean went to the bathroom and David followed. Rudy and I were still chatting when David poked his head out of the bath and gestured at us to join him. I hadn't noticed the water was running in the shower. Dean had discovered the joys of dwarf sex. David and Rudy were engaging men, very masculine, cheerful and sexually driven. They weren't shy. David was the master of the sneak attack. When you run into a fully grown man who is less than four feet tall the last thing in the world you expect is for mt to make a pass at you. Davis pointed out, he never had face to face conversations, it is always face to crotch. "That normally can be a problem, but in the shower it's a blessing," he said. "there I'm face to cock, and the cock his my favorite organ. As luck would have it, it's just about every man's favorite organ." David and Rudy aren't intimidating and you tend to think of them as a curiosity more than as sex partners. I realized by the time you realized they were fully equipped sexual men, they might already be in your ass, using their cocks to massage your prostate. I think that's want happened to Dean. By the time he satisfied his curiosity, he was fully sexually engaged. When Rudy and I joined them, Dean was relaxed and having a great time. We frolicked in the shower, then went to my bed. Rudy was into anal big time and Dean helped him with that. He was poking Rudy doggy style when he opened his own hole. David couldn't resist the temptation. Dean jerked a little when he felt the lubricated cock head as his asshole. But he didn't stop fucking Rudy. David had six and a half thick inches of meat and it slid into Dean's ass like a heated knife into butter. Dean later told me it was the first time he had been fucked. He must have been hyper receptive, since it's rarely that easy. Dean only lasted a minute or two, then he popped. They broke apart, then David fucked me. His cock felt good, but not so good it was going to shoot. We had a nice long session until David finally popped. At this point, Rudy rejoined me and sat on my cock. As it said, both David and Rudy were full size men above the legs, but it was still a surprise when my cock fit in Rudy's body. Dean had been watching this through a drowsy post orgasmic haze. The second he realized I was going to fuck Rudy he was fully alert, and his cock, that had been resting, came back to life. My cock was still magic for him.