With some of you encouraging me on, I got thinking about my next story as soon as I finished The Shuttle Bus Ride and Ginger Mania. Those two stories, as well as most of my stories I have written in the past, were inspired by individuals in my life. Usually some unsuspecting straight boy who has awaken certain desires in me, and my story was an imagination of what could have happened. This time, the inspiration is not a person, but a place. We have been coming to Fire Island Pines for the past 19 summers, and this story is inspired by that magical slice of heaven. Of course, it is not all parties and sex there, but you're here to read about sex.

 

I am exploring a new style of writing for me. I will tell the story from the perspective of each character, one at a time. This will either give you a much better understanding of the psyche of each character, or will confuse the hell out of you.

 

As those of you who have read my other stories know, there will be graphic sex in this story as well. However, my particular style of storytelling is about the art of the chase. It is about the circumstances, the missed signals, the trepidations that will eventually lead to explosive sex. I usually do a very good job of character development, so by the time we get to the sex it makes so much more sense. And my specialty is straight guys. Or at least the ones who think they are straight until they discover otherwise. Or the guys we would otherwise assume are straight, but then we find a whole less obvious side to them.

 

Any resemblance to real people is a purely coincidental. There was no real "Chris" or "Ryan" in my life. Fire Island Pines is very real, and this story is very much in line with what could happen here.

 

This story is about sexual fiction between consenting adults. It does not specifically mention the use of safe sex, nor does it make a statement about not using it. It was not part of the story line. But you and I and everyone should always use safe sex. Always.

 

If you enjoy this story, drop me an email with your feedback at DrThroat@aol.com

 

 

 

My Roommate, My Soulmate

 

 

 

Ryan

 

My name is Ryan. Ryan Mueller. I was born and grew up in a small farming village in upstate New York. I am an only child. My mother had a bad case of Lupus, and the doctors advised her not to have another child after she had so many complications when she was pregnant with me. In fact, her health never recovered after that. My family owned a farm and we lived a very modest life working the farm. I had been helping out my dad with farm work for as long as I can remember. But I was always an honor student as well. My dream was always to go to college and maybe even law school, to use my brains rather than my brawns.

 

Even though the all-American sport was football in our neck of the woods, my body was not big enough to be a star player. I was toned and tight from all that farm work, but not muscular or heavy. Instead, I gravitated to baseball and excelled at it. I got recruited by the baseball coach at State University of New York (SUNY) at Binghamton to go there on a sports scholarship. It was close enough to home that I could come visit my dad and my sick mom, and the tuition was not going to be a burden to my dad.

 

My story starts when I was matched with Chris as roommates in the dorms at Binghamton.

 

Chris

 

My name is Chris. Chris Dukakis. I was born and grew up on the Upper West Side of New York City. My father is an attorney in a high-profile firm in midtown Manhattan; my mother heads a breast cancer charitable organization for underserved areas of the city. They are super liberal; they always hang out with the who's who of New York City. I am an only child. They met and married a bit later in life, and after I was born they decided they will put all their energy into this one child, me.

 

High school was an interesting period of my life. I was always popular, but never developed a special sport or hobby. It was always given that I was college-bound. And affording tuition to any college was never an issue with my parents' finances. But I never got the grades to go to an Ivy League school as my parents wished. Instead, I decided on State University of New York (SUNY) at Binghamton. It was close enough to home that I could come visit my parents, but far enough for me to have some space to grow.

 

My story starts when I was matched with Ryan as roommates in the dorms at Binghamton.

 

Ryan

 

All freshmen had to live on campus, and they didn't give you a choice of roommates. It was random assignments. They matched me with this guy Chris Dukakis from New York City. You always hear horror stories about college roommates not getting along. Or other stories about them becoming lifelong friends. I could only hope that my predicament would be more of the latter case.

 

Growing up in a small village, on a farm, sophisticated New York City folk were always an esoteric bunch to us hicks. But I instantly loved the idea of being paired with Chris. I texted him and we set up a time to call. He was very nice on the phone. Well spoken, he sounded very worldly even on a short telephone call. We thought perhaps we should make plans to get together before we meet up in our room in late August.

 

Chris

 

I grew up in the liberal bubble of Upper West Side, and someone from a small town or village was not someone I was used to hanging out with. I was so happy when Ryan took the initiative to text and then call. I felt instantly at ease with him. Something about the simplicity of his voice, his demeaner, made me feel very at home with him.

 

This was still May, and orientation would start last week of August. We thought perhaps it would be a good idea to meet up at least once so that we can get to know each other a bit before we are thrown into the thick of it in school. He offered to take the train to the city and perhaps we could spend a day together. I loved the idea. I agreed to pick him up at the train station and planned the rest of the day for us.

 

Ryan

 

My parents were very nervous when I told them I was going to take the train to the city on my own. I had been there with them in the past, but they always had taken me and knew where to take me. But with me going off to college next year, I was a grown up now. I was going on my own.

 

I took the train on an early Saturday morning. I got to the city just before noon. Chris and I had already exchanged pics on text and also friended each other on social media, so I knew whom to look for. He was waiting for me at our meeting spot.

 

Chris

 

Today was the day Ryan was coming for a visit. We had talked several times on the phone already. I had butterflies in my belly all morning. I was excited to meet him. He represented a future, my future, in college. He represented me leaving my comfortable nest that my loving parents had provided me and venturing out on my own. He represented the next chapter of my life.

 

I already knew what he looked like. As he came from the other side of the station to our meeting spot, he jumped on me and gave me a bear hug instead of the usual handshake that is customary when you meet someone for the first time. I hugged him back like we had known each other for decades. He was a solid build of a man. The hug went on just a little too long for random strangers.

 

Ryan

 

From the few times I had spoken to him over the phone, I was already very comfortable with Chris. And this spontaneous bear hug felt really good. It felt like I was hugging a brother I never had. I felt like I was hugging someone I had known for a long time but had not seen for a few years.

 

Chris had planned a few things for the day. First, he took me to his favorite brunch place. Even before we got there, he had told me that since I made the effort to take a 4-hour train ride each way, the rest of the day was his treat. Naturally, I resisted. I had brought a few dollars with me, knowing that things are expensive in the city. I just never knew how expensive.

 

The menu at the brunch place was enough to kill the appetite of any poor farm boy. Pancakes for $25, omelets for $30. $6 for coffee. Back home your entire weekend meal would be $5. Not here. But then again, when the food came out, I could see why. This was a whole new world for me. This is how affluent people lived. This is how Chris lived. At this point I did not know what his parents did or what kind of money they had, but I could guess they were very comfortable.

 

Next, we went for a walk in Central Park. My parents had brought me here when I was much younger. But this was a different visit. Chris took me to some of the hidden gems. All the vistas, the fairy tale castle, the magical walkways. We ate ice cream and traded stories about our high school friends and all the crazy teachers. We sat in Sheep's Meadow, with perfect view of the skyline, and absorbed some sun just laying on the grass. At some point the weather was so perfect that we took our shirts off and used them as towels to lay down on the grass. We looked up at the sky and talked about everything and nothing. The conversation never stopped. There was never an odd pause. I had just met the guy, but I was at such ease with him. I counted my lucky stars that they paired us to be roommates.

 

Chris

 

I spent a perfect day with Ryan. I really appreciated the gesture that he made to take the long trip to come hang out with me. There was a natural simplicity to his personality, a certain calm that made me feel at home with him. So many of my friends at high school were so high maintenance. They all came from high power families and they were too worldly for their own good. Not Ryan. He came from simple people. The kind that wear their hearts on their sleeves. Honest, hard-working, modest, and down to earth. Such a breath of fresh air. We had a perfect day together. I took him to some of my usual hangouts. Just the two of us. I felt I could talk to him forever and never run out of conversation.

 

He told me that he was recruited on a baseball scholarship to go to college. I could tell that he was lean and toned, the kind of body you expect to see on a baseball player. He had a muscular build but not too heavy. A blond with a slight bronze tan, very much consistent with German ancestry, specially judging by his last name. A baby round face, with pale blue eyes. Blond eyebrows to match the hair, but hardly any other facial hair to be seen. Slender pale pink lips. His defined jaw tapered to a very slim and muscular neck. He had broad shoulders, from years of farm work. But he was not huge. By serendipity, it was a perfectly warm May day. When we laid out in Sheep's Meadow in Central Park, he took off his shirt and laid on his back shirtless. I was nervous to follow suit, but I did the same. That allowed me to get a glance of his naked torso. Years of farm work and good genes had resulted in a perfect specimen. Perfectly developed pecs, with small nipples. Hardly any body hair. A six pack that was not too out of control but held his belly tight. Tight waist, which fit perfectly into his washed-out jeans.

 

As we lay there on the grass and talked about all kinds of things, both of us shirtless, I couldn't escape thinking about my luck and my predicament. I was lucky they paired me up with such a nice guy that I so far seem to get along with very nicely. But as a closeted 18-year-old young man, living with him in a dorm room would be very challenging.

 

Ryan

 

My day with Chris went spectacular. If the rest of the time we would be roommates goes as smooth, I'd be very lucky. After the long stroll in Central Park and various city locations, it was time for me to start the long journey back home. He came all the way to the train station and dropped me off. I was so overjoyed by the day that I gave him another bear hug before I left.

 

On the long ride back, I went on social media to investigate him some more. There were lots of pictures with him and his parents on vacations. Trips to Europe, the Caribbean, Asia, and even a safari trip. Then there were pictures with his friends and classmates. A very diverse group of people, much more diverse than my high school. There were a few pictures with the Obamas and also with the Clintons in social settings. Since both sets of photos were in the same living room, I can only imagine that these presidents were guests in their apartment. Definitely a different caliber of people than I have ever hung out with.

 

I couldn't wait to get to know Chris better. I had a decent number of friends in school. But between school work, farm work, and my baseball training I did not have too much time to develop meaningful friendships. Sure, I'm a friendly kind of guy and easy to get along with. But I don't think I ever had a best friend. Someone who would come over unannounced. Someone whom I would share all my secrets with. Someone who would have won those tickle fights as we were children, and now would be my wingman when we go out with chicks. Compound that with the fact that I was an only child, I never had the chance to hang out with anyone at home. But this just one day with Chris, and I was so hopeful for the future. Going to college. Meeting new people. Having enough time away from the farm that I can learn to socialize with people with different backgrounds. And all this, with Chris as my wingman.

 

And a fine young wingman he was. He had medium dark hair with a soft curl. He had tanned Mediterranean complexion, blessed with centuries of good sun and good healthy food. His jaw was well defined, and his face looked like a Greek statue chiseled out of the finest marble. He was not athletic like I was, but he looked like he had the metabolism to keep him slender and in shape. When we hung out shirtless in the park, his body too looked like one of those Greek statues.

 

I sent him a text thanking him for a great day. I told him I hope we can meet again before school starts in August. He was very quick to reply. After a couple of quick back and forth texts, he actually just called as I was still on the train ride home. He said that his parents had a farm house on the outskirts of Rhinebeck in what city people call Upstate New York. He invited me to come hang out there with him for a couple of days after graduation. His parents went there many weekends during the winter, and most weekends in the summer. He would love to have someone to hang out with for a few days. I immediately accepted.

 

Chris

 

To this day, as I tell the story many years later, it is a puzzle to me why I was still closeted at that point of our story. My parents were as liberal as they come. They loved me just exactly the way I was. They have several gay and lesbian friends and they frequently come over as couples. My school was as liberal as it comes. Many of my classmates had come out already. The whole school was very accepting of every single one of them. My entire surrounding was always very supportive and nurturing.

 

But I was never courageous enough to do it. I never got the nerve to do the grand gesture to tell my family and friends. Not because I was afraid, I was just nervous. I would hate it if not every single detail did not go just well. So every time I thought I should do it, I hesitated. I always found one excuse or another: after Christmas, after midterms. After my birthday. After our trip. After the prom. Maybe after graduation. And now I was college bound. Maybe in college. Maybe after orientation. Maybe after midterms there. I wasn't even in college yet and I was already procrastinating.

 

Anyway, I just met my roommate, and yes this was not the time to come out. He was a super nice guy, but I had not figured him all out. I wasn't sure too many athletic good-looking guys would appreciate rooming with a gay guy. Maybe he would be cool with it, maybe not. I'll have to see. Anyway, no action was going to be taken.

 

Prom and graduation were as expected. Lots of senioritis that led to a very climactic graduation and then everyone spread to all corners of the world for vacations and then all over the country for college. My parents usually saved their summer vacation for end of July, as we hung out in our summer house the first half of the summer.

 

I was very overjoyed that Ryan was coming to stay with us, with me, the second weekend there. I had exchanged texts with him every few days and sometimes a few times a day since our first visit. We did a few FaceTime calls as well, and he showed me around the farm on his phone. I looked forward to having a playmate stay with me for a few days. Specially if it were going to be Ryan.

 

Ryan

 

There are farm houses and there are farm houses. Where I come from, farms are a source of living. Everyone in the family works hard on the crop or the livestock. We work hard and are happy to make an honest living. Then there are people who buy a `farm house' as a second or even third house. Just enough property to have a vegetable garden and perhaps even a chicken coop. But the properties are so small you can see your neighbors without much effort. Rich city folk who want to escape the city spend hours attending to their hydrangeas and roses. They pretend to host a beehive, only to have someone come every year to replenish the bees artificially. I was sure Chris's house was one of these.

 

I took the train to Rhinebeck. It was a much shorter ride than my trip to the city. Chris picked me up at the station again. The bro hug turned into a real bear hug real fast. The house was a 15-minute ride over the hills outside of town. Quaint little plot of land with white picket fence. And way too big of a house, especially for 3 people, especially for a second house.

 

His parents greeted us when we arrived. I just met them, but they were so warm and welcoming as though this was my tenth trip there to stay with them.

 

"Chris has been saying so many wonderful things about you and we all have been looking forward to meeting you," his mom said. Chris gave her a fierce look for embarrassing him so soon. "We have a lovely guest room for you if you want, with its own bathroom. But Chris's room has a bunk bed in it; he wanted to have slumber parties for when his friends would visit when he was a little boy. You guys might be a bit old for slumber parties, but you are welcome to choose whichever set up you prefer."

 

"I guess if we are going to be roommates, might as well get used to sleeping in the same room," I replied. I said that partially on account of not wanting to dirty up a whole room, and partially on account of I wanted to spend more time with Chris. He took me to his room. I only had a little bag with me with a few items of clothing. The bottom bunk was already messy, so I assumed that was Chris's bed. The top bunk would be mine.

 

We took a bike ride back into town for lunch. We got sandwiches at a local grocery store. Quite possibly the most delicious sandwich I ever tasted. We walked around town a bit to digest and then came back home.

 

Chris

 

I really thought Ryan would appreciate having his own bedroom, but I was happy he wanted to share the bunk bed with me. Let the roommate situation begin even sooner.

 

After our lunch in town, we came back home. I usually took a swim in our pool and basked a bit of sun that time of the day. Ryan was a bit embarrassed that he had not packed a bathing suit with him. I guess I forgot to tell him that we had a pool.

 

I offered him to borrow one of mine. I assured him my mom had washed them out and they were all clean. I picked the pair of swim trunks that were the loosest on me, as his thighs were much more defined and muscular than mine. Shyly, he took it from me.

 

I fully expected him to excuse himself to the bathroom and change in there and then come out. Instead, he just turned around, dropped his pants and underwear with his ass facing me, and put the bathing suit on with such speed. The whole thing happened so fast and with such ease. But I did manage to get a glimpse of his naked ass. It was smooth. No real tan lines. And then it was covered again.

 

Maybe that's how they change clothes where he comes from. The whole locker room etiquette is something that doesn't happen in city high schools. Or maybe he thought he was gonna be my roommate and invariably we were going to see each other in various states of big undressed. Dropping his trousers in front of me, even with his back to me for modesty, was a very natural occurrence to him. Now it was my turn to change. Do I change with him there and act natural, or should I excuse myself to the bathroom? What is a closeted gay young man to do?

 

I had never done it before, but I followed suit. I faced the other way, dropped my pants and underwear, and slipped my bathing trunks on as fast as I could. He was so oblivious to the whole thing, the whole time he was looking out the window to check out the yard and the pool.

 

We made it to the pool. He was shirtless again, just like the first day I met him in the park. That defined torso looked like it had gotten even more work out since the last time. My swim trunks sat very snug on his plump ass. His muscular thighs were bulging out from the leg openings. I think he was oblivious to how sexy he looked with such form fitting shorts.

 

We laid out in the sun, then horsed around in the water, and then repeated the cycle a few more times. The conversation never stopped, naturally most of it around going to college and the new chapter in our lives. He told me he wanted to major in English and then hopefully go off to law school. I told him that I was planning on majoring in English too, but did not have as clear career plans yet. So we figured we might be taking some of the same classes as well.

 

Before you knew it, the sun was gone. It was time to clean up and get ready for dinner. We headed back to my room. I offered him to use the shower first. But he insisted I go first. To avoid any additional awkward moment, I took my change of clothes into the bathroom with me and emerged already dressed. When he went in, I left the room and went back downstairs. I had seen enough of him naked for one day to make me feel self-conscious.

 

Ryan

 

What a magical day with Chris! I never felt so at home with anyone in my life. Yes, he would be my new wingman, my confidant, my best man. I was very happy.

 

When I came out of the shower he was gone already. I put on some clean clothes and headed downstairs. Already as I walked down the stairs the aromas of so many spices unfamiliar to me hit my nose. The three of them were in the living room. All three were sipping on some red wine. His parents were once again delighted to see me. They asked if I wanted a glass of wine or some other drink. I obliged and said I would love wine.

 

Truth is, I never drank wine in my life before. My buddies and I always snuck in some cheap beer into out parties. Occasionally someone showed up with a bottle of whiskey or tequila or vodka. But I never drank wine before. And I never drank in the presence of adults before, let alone my parents. But this was very cosmopolitan for me, very European to have wine prior to meals, or at least that's what I thought.

 

After a few minutes his mom announced that dinner was ready. His father was quick to point out it was all homemade from recipes handed down to them for few generations. The first course was salad with the freshest cucumbers and most luscious tomatoes, tossed with big chunks of feta cheese, olives, olive oil, and seasoning. It was delicious! For the main course she had made moussaka, spanakopita, some meatballs they called kefteh, and various vegetables. I didn't recognize any of the foods but it was delicious. When they asked me if I wanted seconds, I sure as hell helped myself to some. Or maybe that was the wine influencing my manners. For dessert she had made homemade baklava. I never had that before either. They all had it with a shot of Turkish coffee, which they called Greek coffee. I couldn't fathom having coffee that late at night and still be able to fall asleep. I helped myself to a second serving of baklava as well. No manners whatsoever.

 

All through dinner and later when we retired back to the living room, his parents kept most of the conversation going and Chris was being shy. They asked me, in the most polite and endearing way, all about my upbringing, my town, my parents, our farm, my future plans, etc. None of it was prying, but they just were absolutely delighted by any piece of information I shared with them. These people had dined with the Clintons and the Obamas, yet they found my company most fascinating. They really made me feel right at home.

 

I also learned a few things about them. Their last name, Dukakis, was not coincidental. Yes, they were related to Michael Dukakis, the previous presidential nominee, and also to Olympia Dukakis, the Hollywood actress. I got the sense they come from some kind of aristocratic background and that perhaps there was some trust fund money in the family. I didn't ask about that specifically, obviously. Anyways, they were 3^rd and 4^th generation immigrants, but the community is very tight-knit and they like to adhere to their roots and their customs. We talked about this as I was working on my second glass of red wine and it was definitely starting to affect me.

 

Chris must have sensed that all that sun earlier in the day and now the wine was making me a bit tipsy. He thanked his parents for a lovely evening and said that the two of us will be heading to sleep.

 

Chris

 

I don't know what my parents were thinking offering Ryan wine! He was under age, and he came from the kind of background where people most certainly don't drink in front of their parents at the dinner table. Sometime my parents are so absorbed in their own comfort level with life.

 

Ryan was able to drag himself up the stairs to the bedroom. I closed the door behind us. He went to the bathroom first and never bothered closing the door. He was peeing and I could hear the long stream of urine coming out of his body, his dick, and landing in my toilet bowl. He must have peed for 3 minutes straight. He eventually came out, sans washing his hands.

 

"Bathroom is yours," he said. I had to pee hard as well. Is that the new etiquette now, that we will leave doors open when using the bathroom? I have never had that level of comfort with anyone else. But then again, we were going to be roommates. I didn't want to not reciprocate whatever level of comfort he had shown to me. With much dread, I entered my own bathroom and left the door open. I took out my dick to pee. Nothing. Stage fright. Not a single drop. After much hyperventilation, eventually my bladder obliged. A slight little trickle came out, and eventually the stream got some stamina. It was not as hard and forceful as the pee that came out of him, but at least I was able to relieve myself. Mission accomplished, disaster averted.

 

I turned around, washed my hands, and proceeded to brushing my teeth. Right then he came back in the bathroom shirtless, unannounced as the door had been open this whole time, and started brushing his teeth next to me. I've done this in camp before, brushing teeth good night with a whole bunch of boys over the same sink. But I had never done it before one-on-one, in my own sink in my own bathroom. It felt weird having another guy there with me, just the two of us. Someone I liked so much. Someone I found immensely attractive. Just the two of us carrying out our hygiene routine as though we were a married couple.

 

We then went back to the bedroom. "Are you all set? Do you need help with anything?" I asked.

 

"I, I think I'm all good," he answered.

 

"Did you bring pajamas or did you forget that too? Because you can borrow some if you want."

 

"Actually, I don't know what's your routine, but I sleep just in my underwear. One less thing that needs to be washed," he said.

 

Well, that was not going to work out well. He slept in his underwear? And I was supposed to room with him and see him every night almost naked? Was this for real? Yup, it was for real, because he then took off his pants and socks and he stood there in my room in his tight whities. I was still fully dressed from dinner.

 

"I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable this being your house and all," he said. "But, yeah, I didn't bring PJ's because I don't use any. I actually don't have any. But if you prefer, I could use a pair of yours."

 

My heart was beating a mile a minute. I didn't want this to be some kind of standoff. Specially not over pajamas. Specially if he was the one suggesting we should hang out in our underwear. I just hoped not to pop a boner if I followed suit.

 

"You know what, I'm up for trying it," I said laughingly. "Truth be told I don't know why I still wear pajamas if I'm all by myself in my bedroom. I guess I just never outgrew that part of my childhood." It took all the strength in my body to take off my shirt, my pants, and my socks in front of him and not pop a boner.

 

"Try it tonight. You'll see how much more liberating it is to sleep almost naked," he said.

 

As we stood there both in our underwear, I did start feeling a tingle down in my cock. I knew the boner was going to come any second. I yelled: "Last one to bed is a rotten egg," and jumped into my bottom bunk under the covers. Ryan did not follow suit. He just stood there laughing so hard and holding his belly. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the childish game, but he was enjoying it too much. Eventually he finished laughing and proceeded to the ladder to climb to the upper bunk. As he approached the ladder, his package in his tighty whities was just inches away from me. He then climbed, one foot at time, which gave me a cinematic view of his thighs, his calves, his ankle, and then his foot. He plopped himself onto his mattress with full force. Not sure what came over him, but he started laughing again. Eventually he got his breath back, but for the rest of the night it was all giggles and belly laughs over the slightest half joke. It was a laughing contest between us. We took turns telling corny jokes and then laughed uncontrollably. A few times I kicked him mattress from the lower bunk, and a few times he waved his fist at me from the top bunk. Somehow, at whatever wee hours of the night the giggles got replaced with baby-like snoring puffs and we finally fell asleep.

 

I was the first one to wake up the next morning. I believe he must have been a bit hung over from the previous night. What were my parents thinking offering him wine?!? I got out of my lower bunk and stood up next to the bed. Yup, he was still asleep. He was sleeping on top of the covers, on his side, facing me. There was a small wet drool spot on the pillow under him. His face looked so relaxed and so angelic. The blond hair, now messy from rolling over all night, was catching a golden hue from the morning sun. He looked so relaxed. I traced his neck to his torso to his tight belly to his tighty whities. And then I saw it. He had morning wood jutting sideways in his underwear. It must have been at least 8 inches. It was all still covered by the fabric so I couldn't see any flesh, but it was all there in full glory for my eyes to feast. How did such a gorgeous boy, and his morning wood in tow, ever end up in my bedroom. I wanted to reach out and grab it. I wanted to put it in my mouth. I wanted to kiss it. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to devour him. But I was closeted, and he was straight. I couldn't transgress. Not a good way to start our rooming together.

 

And then it dawned on me. This would be the site that was going to greet me every day in our dorm room as I would wake up. I would have a gorgeous blond with a massive cock just inches away. But I was not allowed to touch. He was forbidden fruit. He was temptation. He was a mindfuck. But not a real fuck. I couldn't have him. I shouldn't have him.

 

Just then, as I was mesmerized by his boner, I felt him move a bit. He was waking up. I couldn't get caught staring at his package. I turned around quickly. Before he was fully awake, I put on my pajamas that were never worn, quickly told him I'm heading down to get breakfast ready, and left the room.

 

Ryan

 

I can't remember the last time I had laughed so hard and for so long. We stayed up for hours giggling. I don't remember a single thing we said or talked about, but I was so carefree with him that I left all my troubles behind and just enjoyed the moment. Good thing I woke up without an alarm, because it would not be polite to keep your hosts waiting for breakfast. I put on a pair of shorts and a T shirt and headed down. It was one thing I slept in my underwear; I knew not to parade around like that in front of Chris's parents.

 

There was smell of fresh bread being baked as I headed downstairs. Ryan and his mom had already set the table. There was an assortment of fruit, yogurt (Greek, of course), granola, and various spreads on the table. His mom offered to make us omelets, but I didn't want to be wasteful of all this food she had already put on the table. I needed that fresh cup of coffee that morning.

 

After breakfast, and I insisted I will help clean up, Chris and I headed to the den. We played some video games to pass time. He told me he wanted us to go on a hike and do a picnic lunch at the apex of this mountain with magnificent views. Sure enough, we took the bikes to town, picked up sandwiches and drinks (not wine), and headed to the trail. I had not packed hiking boots, but since Chris wore the same size shoes, I was able to borrow an old pair of his. We got to the apex around 1 PM. The view was as breathtaking as Chris had described it. We sat on a blanket and ate our food. Afterwards, we laid down on the blanket, just like we had done back in Central Park, to relax and digest. Except this time, we laid with our heads in the middle of the blanket, and our legs going in opposite directions to one another. Each one's head was nestled in the empty space between the head and shoulder of the other one. It allowed our heads to be even closer. Again, the conversation just flowed. As you might think, at some point the conversation between two horny 18-year-old turns into sex.

 

I shared with him that I was not a virgin. This girl Jenna was my on-again, off-again girlfriend for the past year. Basically, she was a psychotic cunt, but ever since we discovered sex, I was willing to put up with her craziness. In fact, she was the horny one who kept attacking my body any chance she got. Then I couldn't take her any more. Then she would crawl back to me with more demands to have sex with me. And I just could not resist.

 

Chris confided in me he was still a virgin. He just never dated anyone that seriously, and never found the right person to go to the next level with. Which I thought was odd for all the progressive people in New York. But what did I know?!

 

Then we started to lay down some ground rules for what will happen in college. We were both familiar with the sock on the handle routine: If you come back to the room and there was a sock covering the door handle it means that the other person is getting some sex and please do not disturb. If one of us comes home with someone they picked up and the other person is already there and asleep, pretend to keep sleeping and let the newcomer enjoy his conquest in peace. And then a whole bunch of other little tricks we had learned about from various movies. We were going to do all of that crazy shit. College was going to be fun. And the best part is that I was already best friends with my new roommate and we hadn't even started school yet.

 

After we passed a whole Constitution worth of rules, it was time to head back. We hiked back down, and rode our bikes back home. We were drenched. And dirty. We put on our bathing suits (I used the same pair of Chris's from yesterday), and went cannonball into the pool. We horsed around a bit, but for a shorter period this time.

 

We showered and were about to get dressed. Just then I noted that the dress shirt I had brought for the second night had a huge stain on it from a bottle of iced tea I had half-finished and was still in my bag. It was not salvageable. Chris offered me one of his shirts. He handed me a very fashionable dress shirt that was washed and ironed fresh. I didn't recognize the label, as we didn't have that fancy brand in our local mall. But it said it was made in Italy. I never wore anything made in Italy before. All my clothes were made in USA, Mexico, or China. I felt like a million dollars with that shirt, yet very much out of place and character.

 

For dinner his parents took us to one of their local favorites. Not a fancy place according to them, but definitely very fancy for my level of experience. As we were not home, Chris and I did not have any wine or alcohol of any sort. Back to diet Coke for me. Dinner was delightful. They ran into some of their friends, and made sure to introduce me and sing my accolades as Chris's future roommate in college. All their friends were extremely nice to me. Each one let me know that Chris was a special guy, very intelligent and very easy to get along with, and that anyone would a lucky man to get to have him as a roommate. I already knew it and appreciated all that.

 

Chris

 

After dinner we headed back home. We said good bye to my parents and headed to my room. We repeated the same routine as last night. He peed first, with the door open, and then yielded the toilet to me. It took a bit less effort for me to start my pee stream this time as my bladder was fuller. He re-joined me shirtless to brush our teeth together. We both stripped to our underwear, no confrontation from me this time, and crawled into our respective beds. That crotch, thighs, calves, ankle, feet show greeted me again as he climbed to the upper bunk.

 

But I could sense some was different tonight. He was in a more somber mood. Sure, we did not drink wine and we didn't have the giggles, but it was more than that.

 

"Ryan, are you OK?" I asked.

 

"Yeah, just reflecting," he answered.

 

"On what? Did I say something? Were my parents more embarrassing than their usual selves?"

 

"Not at all, I was reflecting on me, not you or your lovely family."

 

"What do you mean?" I was puzzled, as we continued the now more serious conversation from one bunk to the other.

 

With that he started to open up. He was very happy for me and my lovely family. Things have been much harder for him and his family for years. It all started with his mom's illness after he was born. The lupus got worse, and before they knew it, she had kidney failure. She was lucky to get a transplant after a couple of years, but then it failed. She got a second transplant and eventually that failed too. Then the doctors told them her body will keep rejecting all future transplants and there was no sense putting her through more surgery. Her lungs were failing too and she needed oxygen round the clock. For the past few years, she had been 100% bed-bound. The transport came to pick her up three times a week for dialysis, and that was the only time she left home. His voice was getting more trembling by this point in his description.

 

Then there was a pause. Was that the end of the story? Was that my cue to say something sympathetic? Then I felt commotion from the top bunk. He came down from his bed. With one hand he gently pushed me to the other side of my bed as he said "move over." He planted himself and his tighty whities right next to me in my tiny bed. We were naked shoulder to naked shoulder, him on top of the cover, and me with the blanket just covering my crotch in case a boner pops up. As erotic as it was to have Ryan there with me in that narrow bed, this was not the time to pop a boner. This was the time to listen.

 

Without missing a beat, he continued his story, this time with his head on my pillow in my bed. The conversation shifted to his dad. His dad and his mom were high school sweethearts. She was diagnosed with lupus even before the pregnancy and the doctors had actually warned them both about a pregnancy. But she was not going to relinquish. She wanted a baby. She took the chances even though his father was against it. Right away she got sick and couldn't care for the newborn baby. The burden fell all on his dad. Plus, he had the farm to attend to, and money was too tight to hire help. It was not a happy period. And Ryan felt all that pain in both his parents all his childhood. To this day he does not know if his father, as dearly as one naturally would love his son, also resented him for being born and turning their lives upside down. His parents tried to give him love, but there was not much love left to give.

 

His voice was still shaking as he was telling me all this. Tears were welling up in my eyes listening to his sad upbringing. I don't know if he noticed my tears going down my face. He told me that he had never opened up with anyone before to so candidly to share all this, not even with the free therapist the school got him some time ago. But he was at such ease with me he felt he could share all this.

 

He finally turned his head to me as he was still on the other end of my pillow. Our eyes locked gazes. I could feel him breathing heavily and I could feel his breath shower my face. His naked shoulder and arm had been pressing mine all this time. Our hips were touching, although mine was under the covers. No, this was not the time for a boner. This was the time to be a friend.

 

After a few minutes of looking into each other's eyes, he gave me a bear hug.

 

"Thanks for listening. I really needed to unload and I really appreciate you being there for me." He let go of the bear hug and climbed back to his bed. "Good night."

 

Wow, thing just got real heavy. That was a lot to absorb. Such a sad story, yet he turned out so incredibly well: a star athlete, an accomplished student, and a charming conversationalist.

 

But do straight guys do that, do they crawl in their underwear into some other guy's bed and spill their hearts? And then top it off with a bear hug? Was that some kind of signal I should have picked up on? Did I miss something, or was I the perfect gentleman I was supposed to be?

 

He had just emptied his heart to me. Perhaps this was my turn. Perhaps I should tell him about my same sex attractions. About how I find him and any half good looking guy in school uncontrollably attractive. About this secret I had carried with me ever since I discovered sexuality, but have been too nervous to do anything about it. Was it my turn? No, not tonight. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Maybe next month. Maybe once school starts. Maybe after finals. But for sure not tonight. I was not going to open up to him tonight.

 

The next morning, I woke up first again. I got out of my bunk and looked up into his. He was there again, in the same position as the morning before. Sleeping soundly on his side, over the covers, and his rock-hard morning wood trying to make its way out the fabric of his tighty whities. An angel with a heart of gold and the looks of a Nordic idol.

 

Ryan

 

I was so happy I was able to open up to Chris the night before. It felt very therapeutic for me. I had got to know him so much so fast. It just felt like I had known him for years, even though we had just recently come into each other's lives, and all by chance.

 

He was up before me. I opened my eyes and he was already there greeting me. How fun it is to have someone to be your other half. A new best friend. He told me to get ready and meet him down for breakfast. That morning his mom insisted on making me her signature omelet, even though yesterday's spread was already back on the table and that would have been just fine. The omelet had lots of chives and feta cheese, fresh cut tomatoes, and some herb. It was to die for.

 

That morning we just goofed around the house and played some more video games. For lunch he wanted to take me to his favorite eatery in town. I looked at the menu and he recommended this one chicken dish and their signature hamburgers. I was torn what to get. I offered we get one of each and go halfsies. And that's exactly what we did. Each one ate half the portion and then we switched plates half way in between.

 

That was my last day with Chris and his family. He took me to the train station. I invited him to come stay with my family and me later in the summer. He accepted. He had a family trip planned in July, so perhaps the first week of August. Before I left, I gave him another bear hug. Admittedly, I held on a bit too long for what is socially accepted. I enjoyed his company, and even my physical interactions with him. Eventually I let go of the bear hug and got on the train. He waited outside and waved back as the train took off. I just had the best 3 days of my life. Thanks Chris.

 

We talked over the phone or texted at least once a day. His family and him went on their vacation for two weeks in July. A week in the south of France, and a week in Greece visiting some cousins. I followed along with his pictures on social media and whatever other ones he sent me privately. Those sights, that food, it was all beyond my wildest imagination beautiful.

 

Eventually, the day had come when they were back and Chris was coming to visit me. I was very excited. I was happy to hang out with my buddy again. I craved his friendship, his companionship, his ease of being a down to earth kind of person with no pretentions even though he came from such a high-profile background.

 

I used our pick-up truck to greet him at the train station. From there it was a 20-minute ride to our farm.

 

Chris

 

My family's summer trip was what you expected. I was very bored hanging out with all adults in south of France. I wish there was someone like Ryan there to keep me entertained. In Greece, there were some cousins my age. We did our best through my broken Greek and their broken English to communicate.

 

I looked forward to visiting with Ryan. He had opened up to me about his family's struggles, and I wanted to see it first-hand. He gave me a very enthusiastic bear hug again when I got off the train. I swear, one time he's gonna break one of ribs with those hugs.

 

The house was very modest from the outside. The yard looked abandoned and not well kept. The farm was beautiful though. Inside, everything was old and smelled like medicine and mold. I tried my best not to react. His father was still out in the farm. He took me to his parent's bedroom to introduce me to his mom. She was very frail, sitting there with oxygen tubing on her face. Her color was ashen, her hair white and yellow. Next to her was a side table with 20 different bottles of medicines. Apparently, she hardly ever left the bedroom those days. They had to serve her the meals in bed. I tried my best not to be frightened by the situation, but I felt so bad for Ryan. I was finally able to put what he told me when he opened up to me in the context of the real situation.

 

After that we went next door to his room. A small room with a futon bed and a little desk, one old and stained drawer chest, a closet with both doors wide open and laundry piled up at the base. There was a door to a bathroom; luckily I did not have to share a bathroom with his parents. I didn't see a guest bedroom or a second bed for me. I wasn't sure what the sleeping situation was going to be but I knew not to ask right then and there.

 

I put down my stuff in one corner. He said he wanted to show me the farm. We went for a long walk all thought their farm. He had tons of anecdotes about every little spot: here he fell and injured his knee at age 5, over there he once almost got bitten by a snake. Eventually we came across his father as he was out there attending the crops. I introduced myself to him. He looked like a broken man. Years of sun damage to his face and hands. He smelled of cigarettes and booze. Horrible teeth. But kind and approachable. He looked happy to see me, to see his son with a genuine friend.

 

We took the long way home, zigzagging around every single corner of their farm. Lots more anecdotes and stories about every little corner. By the time we got back home, it was around 6 PM. He said it was time to make dinner. It just dawned on me that so much of the household duties fell on his shoulders with his mom being so sick and his dad out on the farm all day.

 

I am no chef, but I could follow orders. He was making his signature dish on account of me, spaghetti and meatballs. I was in charge of boiling the water for the pasta and getting a separate pot to heat up the jar spaghetti sauce. He took out a package of ground meat, made meatballs out of them with no onion or spices, and fried them up. Even I knew better that you don't make meatballs out of plain raw meat, but I didn't say anything.

 

Eventually dinner was ready. No salad, nothing on the side, not even bread. Just spaghetti and meatballs. He took his mom's portion on a tray to her room. His dad sat with us and kept mostly quiet as he ate his food and drank his beer. It was Ryan who did most of the talking in that little kitchen. He was very excited about going off to college in a couple of weeks, and me sitting next to him was the physical embodiment of that great future for him.

 

After dinner, he snuck a couple of beers out of the fridge and we went to hang out in the yard. There was an old double seater wicker couch. We sat there in the summer heat, sipped on the beer, and talked about more things that will happen in college. The sky was clear, the moon was full, there was a light breeze, and the company was delightful. I was in love. If only I could lean my head on his shoulder and gaze out. If only I could hold his hand in mine. If only I could kiss his neck. If only, life would be perfect.

 

It was eventually bedtime. We went back to his bedroom. I still did not know what was going to be the sleeping arrangements. It didn't seem they were used to have overnight company over much. Ryan went to his futon. He unrolled what was a futon folded in half and now there was room for two people. He redraped a large sheet on it and voila. So that was going to be the arrangement, me and him essentially sleeping in the same bed. I had never slept with someone in the same bed before. Even the one time a few weeks ago when he came to my bed when he was opening up to me was the only time I was in bed with anyone else. And now it seemed I was going to spend all night tonight and tomorrow night with him in the same bed. Me, him, and our underwear. And our horny teenager morning woods.

 

I did not bring pajamas with me. I had learned that from him last time. Each one of us undressed to our underwear. He used the bathroom first, again with the door open. The sound of his pee hitting the toilet bowl was just mesmerizing to me. I went in afterwards. It was a small little bathroom. On the one side there was a little sink, in shade of baby blue, probably from when they built the house when he was a little boy. Next to it was the toilet. At the end was a single occupancy shower stall with clear glass door. You could hardly open the shower door without hitting the toilet bowl. The whole wall behind the sink and the toilet bowl was floor to ceiling mirror. It made the tiny bathroom look bigger than it was.

 

I garnered enough courage to leave the door open. I took out my dick to pee. My whole body and my naked dick were on full display in the mirror. I think the late-night beer helped me get over my stage fright and the stream started soon enough. By the time I was done and I was brushing my teeth, he came in and joined in with what become a routine for us. A sign of things to come, sharing a bathroom and so much more in our room in college.

 

We went back to the bedroom. It was a hot summer night and they didn't have air conditioning. The windows were open, but it was still too hot. The soft blue-toned hues from the full moon were giving everything and everyone in the room a magical cast. He picked up one of the pillows and threw it at me. I threw it back at him. I thought we were too old for a pillow fight, but I went along. He eventually pinned me on the futon, laughed out loud, and rolled away to lay down on his side of the bed. We kept laughing at our juvenile silliness for a few more moments. I looked over. He was all bathed in the blue color of the full moon. It made his gorgeous skin tone shine like silver. I was so content at this point. My only concern was that I might pop a boner at any moment and ruin a perfectly magical time.

 

He then turned to me, laying on his side. With his hand facing the top he reached over and grabbed my hand. Not in a romantic way. But in a handshake kind of way. He squeezed really firm.

 

"I really appreciate you coming to visit me here," he said. "Truth be told, with everything that goes on here I have not felt comfortable having friends over much. But with you, it's different. I feel like I can be my real self when I'm with you. That you're not going to judge me for where I live and who my parents are."

 

I was at a loss for words. I felt all that toward him too, as well as a deep lust for his body. I was sure it was not reciprocal. Still holding on to his hand I replied: "I'm really happy they matched us up. Yes, I feel the same kind of special connection with you. It feels like we've been friends for years even though we just recently met."

 

He let go of my hand, rolled back on his back, and gave a sigh of content. "I love you, man!" he said. I'm sure it was not the same kind of love I had in mind. "Good night," he said and rolled on his side facing me.

 

He went to sleep. I was still there with my eyes open. I was just in awe of this gorgeous man sleeping mostly naked in the same bed as me. If only I was allowed to touch. It only I could glide my fingers over his chest to his abs. If only I could caress his muscular thighs. If only I could have him. I was a virgin and had no clue how sex really worked out, but if only I could have his cock and do magical things to it. If only. Eventually I closed my eyes and fell asleep too.

 

There was some noise outside that woke both of us up rather early in the morning. In retrospect that was his father leaving early to go to the fields. Luckily my morning wood died soon enough not to embarrass me. Ryan's was at half attention when he woke up. It was a hot night in that little bedroom. We were both drenched from sweat, which made his tighty whities cling on to his body even more.

 

"I need to shower before I could start my day," I said, really without any sexual undertones.

 

"I hear you man, me too," he replied. "The shower is right over there. I left the yellow towel for you. The brown one is mine. You go first."

 

I did. I went into the bathroom. Against my better judgment I left the door again. I forced myself to become comfortable with the idea. I took off my sweat drenched underwear, scootched around the shower door, and stepped in. The water felt really good. There was a bar of soap and a supermarket brand shampoo bottle there. I started lathering up.

 

Not a minute later, while I was all naked and lathering up, he came into the bathroom. Without missing beat he walked up to the toilet bowl, lowered his underwear and started taking a piss in the toilet just a foot away from where I was standing. All this in full view of me. And me in full view of him.

 

I had never seen a man's dick up to this point in my life. I had seen boys naked in the shower back in camp, but nobody since puberty hit. We don't shower in high school physical education classes in New York. I didn't belong to a gym, so had never done the locker room routine. I knew I loved the male body, and that dicks belong to the male body. But I had never seen one all grown up, except my own. Specially not this close. The only thing was that by now the steam and lather spills were partially obscuring the shower door glass and I could not see it in full view. But this was the closest I had even gotten to dick.

 

I was frozen for a few seconds. I tried to act normal, but I couldn't. I just was glued to the sight in front of my eyes, through the shower steam and suds, for as long as he kept peeing. It was magnificent. It was glorious. I had seen his ass when he visited us, and now his dick. And he just walked in on me when I was naked in the shower; surely he saw all of me too. Well, we crossed that threshold too. We were going to be roommates, and it was bound to happen at some point. But it did so much sooner than college even started.

 

I finished showering, dried myself up with my assigned towel, and headed out with just the towel wrapped around me. He was still out there with his tighty whites on, now with a little pee stain on the one side. Without saying a word, he headed in and I could hear him start off with his shower. I knew he was in there. I tried to find an excuse to walk in on him the same way he had walked in on me so casually. I wanted to see him fully naked and wet. I wanted to be near him when he was all that naked and all that wet. I wished we could be both naked and wet. But I couldn't muster enough courage to act as natural as he did. Instead, I got dressed and headed out to the kitchen.

 

Ryan

After the morning shower I joined Chris who was already in the kitchen. The only breakfast we ever had at home was cereal boxes, white bread and peanut butter with jelly. We were simple folk. I tried to make it fancy by toasting his bread for him. After I took care of mom's breakfast, it was time to explore our little town.

 

My dad was still in the fields. So, we took his pick-up truck and headed to town. I showed him my high school, the little downtown strip, and the parking lot where all the high school kids go hang out at night. I then took him to a nearby lake where you can rent kayaks and go around. I rented us a double kayak. I let him ride in the front. We explored all the little hidden corners of the waterfront. On the other side, we got off the kayak and took a little walk in the woods. All the while, we were catching each other up on 18 years of our lives that the other person had missed so far. So many little stories, anecdotes, about this that and the other thing.

 

By lunchtime we made it back to the few little general shops and eateries that is our town center. My favorite spot was this little pancake house. I told them their signature pancake with berries was the bomb there, but the mushroom omelet was also great. We decided to do halfsies again. After each one of us finished half of each dish, we traded plates and finished the other one's dish.

 

We then went back to the farm. Even though my dad was gracious enough to let me have a couple of days with my buddy, there was some work that needed to be done. I strapped Chris on the tractor behind me, and we got to work. He had never been on a real working farm before. He had never been on a tractor before. He never had done manual labor before. He seemed like he was having so much fun helping out, or at least he faked it well enough.

 

For dinner we headed back to town. Not too many choices here. But the pizza place was pretty good. We shared a large pie. Teenage boys sure do have an appetite; we finished the whole pie in no time. I took him to the parking lot where all the guys usually hang out, but there was nobody there. I had snuck out a couple of beers for us in advance. So we just sat in the back of the pick-up truck and gazed up into the skies. Freshman orientation was in just two weeks from then, and that's all either one of us could talk about.

 

Chris

 

Ryan's life was so different than mine, and I really felt special that he wanted to share every little last detail with me. He was the most sincere, honest, and simple person I have ever met. Pure good intention, always with a sense of duty to his parents and his life goals. The most perfect son anyone could wish for. And the most perfect husband for one lucky girl in the future.

 

We started our night routine again. We undressed to our underwear. I went to the bathroom first. I left the door open, as per my new usual. I took out my dick and started peeing, looking at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror. I knew Ryan was right outside.

 

Not five seconds into me starting to pee, Ryan walked into the bathroom. As natural as one could act, he lowered his tighty whities and took out his dick. He started to pee into the bowl right next to me. Our pee currents crossed mid-air before they poured into the bowl below. The whole time he was looking down into the bowl as I was looking at the reflection of both us in the mirror. Then he took his elbow nearest to me and placed it on top of my shoulder closest to him. He used that pose to lean on me, as casually as a buddy does watching a game of baseball.

 

I couldn't believe my eyes. Ryan's full cock and balls. Out in the open. Doing what it does most of the time, taking a pee. But it was all there for me to see. Just this morning I was admiring a side view through the shower steam and suds. But this was the full view. All of it. My first real cock sighting. And for that matter, the first time someone had seen my adult cock. I wished this moment to never end. I wished we could spend the rest of our lives with our cocks out next to each other. Him leaning on me and me leaning on him. Me kissing him and him kissing me. Me taking his cock into my mouth and him taking my cock into his mouth. If only that could happen.

 

Ryan

 

The next morning was going to be our last day until orientation week in college. I didn't have anything special in mind planned for us to do. After breakfast, I asked Chris what he wanted to do. Interestingly, he asked if I had any baby albums of me around. He wanted to see pictures of my childhood, what I looked like as a kid.

 

I took out a few family albums and we went through all our photos chronologically. I can't believe what a goofball I was. Just a happy kid oblivious to all of life's struggles. Just smiling in every single picture. Just happy to be there, like a puppy.

 

After that he asked if it would be OK if he went to talk to my mom. He said he wanted to get to know her a bit more. I usually try to keep my mom company as much as I can, but never thought friends would like to do the same with me. With my suggestion, knowing my mom's favorite pastime, we took a deck of cards and played poker. She was delighted to have us around. She kept remarking how handsome Chris was and how expertly he knew how to play, even though she kept beating us in every round. It seemed like she was enjoying his company and he was enjoying hers. Eventually I served my mom her lunch and then we headed to town for a quick bite before Chris had to go back home. We stopped at our local Subway franchise. We went halfsies on a tuna sub and a BLT sub. We split a big bag of chips.

 

Before he was ready to get on the train, I was overcome with emotions and I gave him another bear hug. This one was longer and more forceful than all the other bear hugs I had come accustomed to giving him in the past few months. I just couldn't let go. He was hugging me back fiercely as well, but I was definitely the one taking the lead on all the flesh squeezing. I eventually let go when the station manager made the announcement about the departure. I was already missing him so much and he had not even left yet. I swear I could kiss him on lips, if that was appropriate between guy friends. I cared for him that much.

 

Chris

 

We kept in touch every day after I left his house. Before you knew it, it was orientation week. My parents rented a U-Haul to schlepp all the college accessories they had bought for their one and only child going off to college. Of course they had to come and drop me off and embarrass me in front of the other kids. Ryan had one suitcase and one large duffle bag. He took the train all by himself and met me there.

 

My parents and I were already in the dorm room when Ryan arrived. My parents jumped all over him with hugs and kisses as soon as he entered the room. I was jealous. I wish it were more appropriate for me to jump all over him and shower him with kisses too. But I sure did get another Ryan bear hug as soon as managed to peel my parents off of him.

 

My parents helped him get set up too. I hinted that it was time for them to leave. They looked disappointed. It was as if they thought they would be staying with us the whole week of orientation. NOT! Ryan and I both kissed them good bye and sent them on their way back to the city.

 

As soon as we closed the door behind us, Ryan jumped with the greatest joy on top of his bed and started bouncing.

 

"Our fucking room, man!" he said. "This is OUR fucking room. Can you believe it??? We're finally doing this. We're finally here!" He was so overcome with pure joy. He always managed to melt my heart with his innocence and joy for life.

 

"Yup, we're doing this! Wait, all this time, I had forgotten to ask, are you a farter?" And with that I released a loud fart to christen our room. Luckily it was not a smelly one. But we both just burst into the loudest laughter of our lives. I laughed so hard I collapsed on my bed. He was still bouncing and he took a huge leap all the way across the room and collapsed from laughter on top of my bed next to me. We kept laughing so hard we had to hold our bellies because it hurt so much.

 

Eventually we made it to some of the programming of the orientation. We signed up for classes. We took 4 classes together that were typical freshman classes for English majors. Each one took one other class: I wanted to learn French, and he wanted a course in economics. We went to the social programs and met a few people.

 

We came back to our room before dinner. It was a large rectangle with windows on the far end. Each side of the room had one bed and one desk. Towards the entrance there were two closets, one for each. We got lucky with one of the better dorms and we had our own en-suite bathroom and tiny shower, even smaller than the bathroom in Ryan's room back home. I forecasted a lot of open-door showers and pee sessions. Lots of triggers that I would have to control myself against.

 

The first night was long. They had so many social programs and we met tons of people. But we never left each other. We were an item. Eventually we came back home and crashed. We followed the same routine we had established to get into our underwear, brush teeth at the same time and head back to bed. We were too overjoyed from our first day for long bedtime conversations. The second day was mostly social activities, as well as getting library cards, meal plans, etc. Again, we never left each other. I was his wingman and he was mine. I could never get tired of his company, and it seemed he felt the same. That night as we were getting ready for bed, he walked on me in the bathroom and once again our dicks were out and our pees were crossing paths before they landed in the toiled bowl. It was so much more natural the second time around.

 

We crashed hard again. About half an hour later, I heard a little commotion from his side of the room. I was already sleeping on my side facing him. In the darkness of the night I opened my eyes a just bit. Ryan was in his bed, flat on his back, with the covers all the way up to his nipples. His eyes was closed and his neck was extended back on his pillow. It seemed like with one hand he was holding the mid-section of his blanket up, and with his other hand he was jacking off. I've done this so many times; I knew what it was. Except I never dared do it when someone else was in the room, even if I was sure they were sleeping.

 

I couldn't believe my eyes. He was just a few feet from me jerking off. He had the privilege of holding his gorgeous dick, now erect, in his manly hands and pleasure himself. And I had the privilege of pretending to be asleep as I enjoyed the sight I was seeing. I couldn't see his cock under the blanket, but I had enough of a clear mental image to imagine the rest of it.

 

Within a couple of minutes his panting accelerated, his pecs tensed him, and he let go of a silent groan. First his pelvis came up in the air, and then it collapsed back on the mattress. He was done. With the hand he was jerking he reached out and grabbed a rag from behind his bed. I guess he had left it there in advance. He wiped himself and then turned to sleep on to the side facing away from me. But my heart was racing. There was no way I could fall asleep now. I had seen too much. I had committed a taboo. I don't know how much longer I stayed up with thoughts in my head, but I eventually crashed. I woke up the next day and my heart was still racing.

 

In our little room, there was not much space for privacy. We had to change in front of each other, shower one at a time and get dressed. Yes, I did see him naked for a split second here and a split second there. I tried to conceal my glances. I don't think he ever looked in my direction when I was the one getting changed. I was too nervous to see if he was looking.

 

Two nights later, again half hour into us going to sleep, the same scene from Ryan jerking off repeated itself. I was woken up with a little noise, I saw him repeat his hand gesture, his tensing up, his release, and eventually his clean up and going to sleep. I was such a pervert to watch it all while I pretended to be asleep.

 

The next night I fully expected to have another peep show. But nothing happened. I guess he was too tired. The night after that I spotted the cum rag again behind his bed, so I got all excited about pretending to sleep while he took care of himself just few feet away. I laid there pretending to be asleep. Instead, I heard those baby puff-snores that he makes when he is sleeping. I guess no show that night, he was exhausted.

 

But the sexual tension of the past few nights had got me all worked up. And I had not found a single private moment to jerk off ever since we arrived on campus. I was horny. If he were daring enough to jerk off while he thought I was sleeping, then I could do the same now that I have proof he was sleeping. Quietly, I turned on my back. Normally if I'm in bed, I would jerk off with the covers off to give myself some space to work. But perhaps in a shared room having the cover on you for some privacy would be a better idea.

 

I tried the same hand coordination I had seen Ryan do: hold the blanket with one hand and jerk off with the other hand. Not the most comfortable way, but definitely more private. I closed my eyes and allowed mental images of naked Ryan playing with his dick run into my head. I had never held someone else's dick in my hand, but imagined how it would feel to hold Ryan's. I imagined how it would be to taste his dick. I had seen porn online before, but I had no clue if I would know what to do with a dick if given the real chance. All I knew is that I wanted his dick. I wanted his body.

 

I was in deep fantasy when I heard some faint noises from the other side of room. I opened my eyes and looked over, and Ryan was jerking off too! His head was facing the ceiling, his eyes seemed to be closed, and he was doing the same jerking off under the covers routine I had learned from him. Not only I was busted, but he had joined me. He could not be that oblivious to not know what I was doing. But he never once looked over. He just kept his head straight up to the ceiling and kept his eyes closed. He never missed a beat of his strokes.

 

It took me a few moments to recuperate from the reality of the situation. But my sexual thirst was already in overdrive. I couldn't stop. I regained my rhythm and started jerking off again. Both of us were pounding our meat, feet away from each other. Oh, how I yearned I could go over and yank his meat for him. And if he wanted, I would be honored if he yanked my meat. But that was not going to happen. Instead, we just kept jerking ourselves under the shadow of the night.

 

The whole time I was looking over to his side, and he had his eyes closed. He went through the same sequence of tensing his pecs, followed by his pelvis arching in the air, and then collapsing back on the mattress. That was all the overstimulation I needed. I came all over my chest. Biggest load of my life in all my 18 years. It was massive. It hit the inside of my blanket and left several wet spots. I was a mess of hot cum.

 

I looked over and he was doing the same routine of cleaning up with his cum rag. I didn't want to make too much of a commotion. So, I quietly took off my underwear while still under the covers and used it as a cum rag. Just then, he tossed his cum rag on the floor, turned to sleep on his side facing away from me and said: "Good night, sleep tight!"

 

Bastard was fully aware of what was going on. He caught me jerking off the first time I tried to have a moment of privacy. And instead of pretending to be asleep like I had done, he joined me. He was cool with us jerking off at the same time. He didn't initiate anything more. He didn't even look over. But he was cool to jerking off at the same time. In fact he enjoyed it.

 

The next morning I managed to skip out of bed naked while he was still sleeping. Once he got up and went to take a shower, I found his cum rag. It was all dry and crusty. I picked it up and sniffed it. It smelled like spunk. Like Ryan's spunk. It was intoxicating. My only regret was that it was all dried up, otherwise I would have gladly licked all the cum off of it. I would have swallowed anything I could salvage from his cum rag.

 

The whole day we spent together with classes and meals, and not once did he mention anything about what happened last night. It was as though nothing had happened. I knew it did not happen in my imagination. I knew it was real. But we acted as normal as one does.

 

That night I spotted his cum rag in its usual spot next to his bed again. My heart skipped a beat. I could have another show again. This time I pretended to be asleep and let him have a solo act. Once he tossed his cum rag on the floor, I tried my best to reach for it and take it. But it was too far for me. Fuck! I wanted all that hot cum in my mouth. If I couldn't have the source of the cum in my mouth, I was willing to settle for the cum in a rag. But it was out of reach.

 

Over the next few weeks the same scene carried out over and over. He would jerk off and I would watch as I pretended to be asleep. But if I was the one to go first, he would always join me. No matter how many times I thought he was asleep, I would always catch him joining me with his separate solo act at the same time. Then each one would come, invariably he would say "Good night" or some other indication that he was up and knew what was going on in my side of the room. But I never got the courage to join him. If he went first, I always let him do his thing. I never admitted to know what was going on. I wasn't brave enough.

 

Then one night, when I went first and he naturally joined me, halfway through the act he kicked the covers off of him. That, I never expected. The covers flew off and he was in full view. His tighty whities were near his knees. He kept stroking his stiff cock with one hand kept rubbing his tight belly with the other hand. I was no expert in cock size, but it was sure bigger than mine. Definitely 8 inches. Not that I could see that clearly in the darkness of the room. It was all shadows, but enough to know what was doing on.

 

I had already gotten used to seeing glimpses of his cock in the shower or when changing. This was no simple glimpse. This was rock hard boner in full view getting the worship it so deserved. And what a glorious sight it was. I was admiring every single stroke of his, as I tried to match his pace across the room. As predicted, the tensing of his pecs were followed by his pelvis arching up in the air and gobs of cum shot out in the free air to his belly and chest. What I would give to be able to go over and lick him clean. I shot my load too, and by then I had learned to have my own cum rag handy and ready. After he cleaned himself, he pulled up his tighty whities, turned to his side and said "Good night" as it had become his routine. We had gotten to be so close even our jerking off was in synchrony now.

 

This pattern repeated itself throughout the semester, the year, and beyond.

 

Ryan

 

Going to college was even more exciting than I thought. I got to meet so many new and diverse people. The course work was manageable. Baseball season was in practice only, so we had not hit the road much yet. And the best part of it was that Chris was my wingman through all this. He was the yin to my yang. We had so many of the same classes. We had mostly the same schedule. We ate all our meals together, did homework together, went to parties together. The only time we spent apart is when I had baseball practice or he went to his Hellenic Society Club meetings. Somebody even thought we were a couple. We were that close. Of course Chris and I laughed it off. We were just besties.

 

Homecoming weekend was the following weekend. There was no way my parents were able to come visit. I was delighted when Chris said his parents were coming and that they wanted to hang out with me as well. I felt a special closeness to them too, not just to Chris. The whole family was very warm and welcoming.

 

They brought me as many care package items and gifts as they brought for their own son. It was as though they were coming to visit their twin sons in college. That was very sweet of them. We watched the football game and then they treated us to a great meal off campus. They had managed to find the highest rated restaurant and had a reservation for 4. Dinner was absolutely delightful. The company was even more delightful. They invited me to come visit with them and Chris over Thanksgiving. I thanked them profusely but said that it was the only time I'll be visiting home ever since we came to college. Then they insisted I should come visit with them for sure over the longer winter break. That, I accepted. Chris was my wingman, but his family was just so nurturing to anyone they met.

 

Midterms came and went. Thanksgiving back home was a bit more somber for me. I hadn't seen my mom for a few months and she looked extra frail. I felt bad I was away and was not able to bring her the meals and spend quality time with her. I was very torn. My father had been doing whatever he could to take care of farm work, now with occasional hired help to make up for my absence. And then he took care of mom as best he could.

 

We went back for the rest of the semester. All in all, it was a great first semester in college. I was getting along famously with Chris. He was coming out of his shy shell slowly but surely. Neither one of us had met anyone special to hook up with. And definitely not for lack of trying on my end, although I thought Chris needed a bit more of a push.

 

After finals it was time for good byes. I gave Chris one of my famous bear hugs before I let him go. I held on to him forever. He just felt good in my arms as I was holding him. It just always gave me energy to hold him like that. But he had to go to New York and I had to head home. I promised that I will come visit after new year's. I had promised his parents too.

 

Chris

 

Christmas was the usual affair this year. Lots of gifts. Lots of family visits. I got together with some of my high school crowd for a very sedate New Year's Eve party. I had been in touch with Ryan practically every day. He was planning on coming to stay with me in New York for a few days probably second week of January. I couldn't wait to hang out with him here and show him my town. It had only been a few days, but I missed him already. Both emotionally and physically. I missed even those tender moments of peeing in the toilet at the same time, those halfsies meals we had got so accustomed to.

 

On the morning of January 3^rd, I got a frantic call from Ryan. He sounded shaken to his core. His voice was trembling. He just kept saying my name out repeatedly without making any sense. Finally, he was able to catch his breath and told me his mom passed away overnight. She was frail and was getting weaker, but he never thought this day would come. He was besides himself. I could tell he wanted to cry, but just did not have the courage to do it. The funeral would be the next day.

 

Now I was at a loss too. My heart sank. I couldn't see Ryan in such a state. My happy go-lucky Ryan. My ray of sunshine Ryan. He was heartbroken. The greatest tragedy I could possibly imagine. I didn't know what was the right thing to say. I told him I will be there tomorrow for the funeral. He said I didn't need to make the long trip, but I insisted even though I didn't know what I was talking about. My parents offered to come as well, but that was not needed. They said I could take the car to get there.

 

The next day I woke up at the crack of dawn, put on my funeral suit, and took the family car for the 5-hour ride to Ryan's town. I made sure I allowed enough time to get there ahead of time. I got to the one and only church in town where the funeral was being held a half hour ahead of time. I walked in hesitantly. I didn't know what to expect. There was a scattering of people there. I was the only one in a suit. All the way up there was Ryan and his dad, also not wearing suits. Ryan was standing there with shoulders fallen, his neck arched all the way down and he was staring at some blank spot in front of his legs. His body language spoke volumes about the mental status he was in.

 

As soon as Ryan looked up and saw me still standing near the entrance, he ran to me. He gave me the biggest bear hug. He planted his head on my right shoulder and for the first time started sobbing uncontrollably. He just emptied 2 days' worth of pent-up sorrow on my shoulder. With all the bear hugs he had given me in the past, he never had rested his head on my shoulders. I could live forever like this, with head right there on me. I was acutely aware of the circumstances, but right then, right there, his head resting on my shoulder was worth the 5-hour car ride.

 

After the longest time, I tried to gesture for him to let go so I could bring him back to the front of the church as more people were coming in to pay their respects. He didn't want to let go. But I eventually won. I wrapped my right arm all the way around his back to his right shoulder and escorted him to the front. I planted him next to his father. His father seemed shaken and broken. He thanked me for coming, and for being such a good friend to his son.

 

The ceremony was simple. We have much more elaborate ceremonies in my Greek church. I was the only one in a suit. After that there was a simple burial on the church grounds. They invited people to come over the house if they wanted to pay their respects.

 

Ryan insisted he wanted to ride with me, even though I thought he should accompany his father. He said he really didn't expect me to come all the way, but now that I did, it meant the world to him. There was nobody else in the world he wanted to be with at that moment in time.

 

A few people came and went during the visitation time. Some family. Some neighbors from nearby farms. A few of Ryan's friends from high school. A few aunts. People brought food and drinks. It was all very informal. Myself, I was not there for a half hour visit like everyone else. Being that I had travelled such a long distance, I was going to maximize my time.

 

Not knowing anyone else there, I focused a bit on clean up as people came and left. Plates needed to be bussed, glasses needed to be washed. Empty casserole dishes needed to put away. Ryan's dad was hanging out in one corner of the living room with some buddies and drinking beer. All of Ryan's buddies had come and gone already and he was sitting in another corner of the room as I was busy cleaning up. To my surprise, I saw that he was drinking beer right out in the open in front of adult company. Very uncharacteristic for him.

 

I intermittently kept Ryan company, now half drunk, and took care of some more household cleaning. I didn't want to leave; I just needed a reason to postpone my inevitable departure. It was going to break my heart to leave Ryan like this.

 

By around 7 PM essentially everyone had left. I made a final tour of the kitchen to clean up and then start my ride home. As I came back to the living room, I found Ryan, now really drunk, had vomited all over his shirt and pants. He was a mess. He was about to pass out in that stupor. I couldn't leave him like this.

 

It took all my physical strength to get him off the sofa and escort him to his room. In the process the vomit got all over my suit as well. By the time we were in his room, we were both filthy, except that in his case the vomit had seeped all the way down through his shirt to his body.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave him like this. I needed to clean him. I made him lean on the wall all drunk as I took off his shoes. He tried to help but was too inebriated to be helpful. Chunks of dried vomit kept landing in my direction. I took the socks off too. I then stood up. He was still leaning on the wall. I started to unbutton his shirt through all the vomit. I took off the shirt and tossed it on the floor. I had imagined in my fantasies that one day I would undress him, but I never imagined it like this. Then came the belt and I slid his pants all the way down to his ankles. I bent back down to help him take the pants off. I was eye level and only two inches away from his crotch. I had dreamed of the day I could be so close to his dick, but then again I didn't want it like this. He did his best to help with the pants coming off, lifting one leg at a time. He was aware enough to know I was helping him. His underwear was soaked too, but I did not dare take those off. Yes, I had seen him naked before, but I needed for him to keep a little level of dignity through all this.

 

I stood up. He still reeked of vomit. He needed to be washed. I made sure he was still leaning on the wall as I headed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on and made sure the water was warm enough. I came back to the bedroom and put his one arm around my shoulder so I could take him to the shower. He was unsteady but managed to help me help him to the bathroom. He could not have done this alone. I helped him into the shower, still with his tighty whities on. He just stood there leaning on the wall. He just wasn't alert enough to know to shower himself.

 

I looked around, there was no handheld shower head for me to hose him down. I tried to push him in the direction of the stream from the shower head to no avail. He was just a lump of meat. My suit sleeves were soaked by now, and the rest of the suit had vomit on it too. The situation was hopeless.

 

While he just stood there, I took off my suit, my shirt, shoes, and socks. I was now down to my underwear, same way Ryan and I go to sleep every night. I stepped into the shower with him and closed the shower door. I was finally able to push him under the water. All that splashing got both of us wet. His tighty whities got fully soaked and became almost transparent. They perfectly hugged his cock in the front and his luscious ass cheeks in the back. I had imagined myself in a hot shower scene with another man, ideally even Ryan, in the past. But this was not what I had in mind. I was here to take care of him, not to have ulterior motives.

 

I picked up the soap bar and ran it all across his muscular back. I traced it to his lumbar area, skipped his ass that was still in the tighty whities and went to the thighs and calves. I washed the backside of each carefully. I then stood up again and turned him toward me. He seemed like he was about to fall on me a give me one of his famous bear hugs. This was not the time for that. I washed each arm carefully with the soap. I then traced the soap all over his pecs and his tight belly. I kneeled in front of him so I could get to the front side of his legs. I was inches away from his cock again. And it was glistening through the fabric of his tighty whities for me to see and admire. Oh, Ryan, I have desired you for a long time now. But not like this, not now. I washed his legs thoroughly.

I came back up. While I was at it, I shampooed his hair for him too. All this time he just stood there under the shower water and allowed me to take care of him. Like such a good cooperative little boy. I planted him on the side and did a quick rinse myself.

 

I never even thought of checking the towel situation before jumping into the shower with him. His brown towel was on the main towel bar. The yellow towel I had used last time was on the same hook I had left it so many months ago. Nobody had bothered taking it off or washing it all this time. I grabbed both towels and then draped Ryan's arm around me to bring him back to the bedroom. The shower and the bathroom were too small for me to dry him off there. I took care of him first, as I stood there all drenched. I toweled off all the precious little parts of his body that I had washed with my hands just minutes ago. I even dried off his hair. I then wrapped his towel around his waist. Only then, when he had full modesty, I reached to lower down his fully soaked tighty whities. Not that I had not seen him naked before, but he needed all the dignity I could give him.

 

I think the shower allowed him to sober up a bit, as I was able to let him stand on his own without being scared he might fall over. Only then I took off my own drenched underwear, toweled off, and then wrapped my towel around my waist. I turned around to face him. He had been just standing there admiring every move I was making to towel myself off. His eyes had been glued on me the whole time.

 

He then dropped himself on me as he gave me another bear hug. With his arms he reached behind my naked torso and squeezed me so tight. He pulled me all the way in. By this point my cock, free under just a towel, was touching his cock, free under his towel. He then buried his head on my right shoulder just like he had in the church. I reciprocated and put my head on his shoulder. I brought my arms around to hug his naked torso too. It felt so good. I just wished it was under different circumstances.

 

"I love you, man!" he said, with a decidedly drunk demeanor. I knew not to take anything too seriously under the circumstances.

 

"I love you too, Ryan" I replied. I really did love him in that way. But this current declaration was more of a bromance love.

 

"No dude, no I'm serious. I don't think you know how much l love you. You are my rock. You are my only support system in the whole world. My world would mean nothing without you." And with that I felt a new level of moisture on my shoulder. He was crying.

 

He was not in the mood to let go of his bear hug. Every time I tried to ease up, he would tighten back up. We just stood there for at least half an hour, with just towels around our waists, and hugging each other while our heads rested on the other guy's shoulders. I think with time he sobered up some more. Eventually he was agreeable to let go of hugging.

 

I was at a loss what to do next. I needed to sort things out. I went through his dresser and found where he had his stash of tighty whities. I took one out and came back to him. I kneeled in front of him. He was now alert enough to know what to do. He put in one foot at a time into his underwear. With his towel still around his waist, I slid his tighty whities all the way up to his waist. Only once he was covered, I took off the soaked towel and returned it to the bathroom.

 

My own situation was completely different. My suit was ruined. My underwear was soaked. I had not brought a change of clothes. I hung the yellow towel on the same hook again and walked out naked. He had seen me naked before. I went to the dresser again and took out another pair of his tighty whities and wore it myself. Ryan had occasionally borrowed a piece of clothing from me. I had never worn his underwear before. Just the thought of having my cock in the same space as his crotch occupies in his underwear!

 

I wasn't going to be able to go back to New York. Not at this time. Not in this condition. I had to stay the night. I called my parents and explained the situation. They were very understanding. I spared them the drunk part of the story. Or that I was currently wearing Ryan's underwear and subversively enjoying it.

 

I unrolled the futon as I had seen him do during my last visit. I made the bed for the two of us. It was only 10:00 at night, but after the long day we both just had, it was time for bed. I made sure he laid down on his side just in case he was going to vomit again. I laid down on my back on my side of the futon. I stared at the ceiling and a million thoughts and emotions ran through my mind. The sadness of losing a parent. The sadness of Ryan's upbringing in such a sad household. The eroticism of my very first shower with another man. How Ryan told me he loved me, in a bromance kind of way. And how I loved him back in both a romantic and bromance way. No matter anything that will happen in the future, we are tied to one another for the rest of our lives.

 

Just then he moved. He came over to my side of the bed. I didn't know if he was still drunk or what. It had been hours since his last beer. Without saying a word, he laid his head on my body, at the junction of my chest and my belly. Just the way a little boy lays on top of his mom and dad. Not in the romantic way, but the way a little vulnerable creature would come for protection. I felt some moisture on my belly where his eyes were. He was crying quietly. I reached over and rubbed his head as a nurturing parent would console a hurt child. I didn't say anything. He didn't either. I just let him lay there. I kept rubbing his blond hair in between my fingers. I don't remember when and how we finally fell asleep.

 

Ryan

 

I had come to learn to rely on Chris as my buddy and my support over the last few months. It was only during this critical day of my life that I truly realized how much I loved that man and how much he loved me back. He was there at the lowest point of my life and he rescued me. He nurtured me. He gave me comfort. He gave me friendship. This was a different kind of friendship than all the guys I hung out with in high school.

 

The poor guy had come for a day trip, and ended up staying the night. And it seemed I ruined his suit with my misbehaving. He didn't even have a change of clothes with him. I loaned him a pair of my jeans and a sweatshirt. He looked so funny wearing my underwear. But that's all we had here. I felt so bad when I didn't have a spare toothbrush for him to use. He was such a gentleman when he said that after everything we've been through, he could just use mine for now. We took turns using that one toothbrush. I love that man. And I love how he loved me back just as much.

 

The house felt so empty without my mom there that morning. There was nobody for me to take a tray of food to. My dad, the eternal avoider, had already left to take care of farm work by the time we woke up. Chris was in no rush to go back home. I didn't want him to leave, but I also did not want to hold him up there. He seemed content to just hang out with me there. Out of loss of things to do to keep myself occupied, I asked if it was appropriate to start sorting out through my mom's stuff. He said he would be glad to help, only if I felt up to it.

 

We went to her room. We sorted out and threw out the meds. We called the dialysis clinic to let them know they no longer needed to come pick her up. We made arrangements for the medical supply people to come pick up the oxygen and all the rest.

 

By 4 PM Chris rightfully said that it was enough for one day. There was always tomorrow. He made me sit next to him and watch a movie on the TV. Some lighthearted rom-com. My mind was too distracted to follow the plot. We sat there shoulder to shoulder staring at the tube. Eventually, my head gravitated to his shoulder and I rested my head on him sideways. After a moment he rested his head back on top of my head. We finished the movie in that pose.

 

We still had leftover casseroles people had brought over from yesterday. We heated some up and had it for dinner. We went back to watching another movie after dinner, but it was not watchable. We went back to my bedroom. I suggested that maybe in honor of my mom we could play a game of poker. We got ready for bed in advance. We used that one toothbrush for the both of us again. We stripped to our underwear again. It was funny seeing Chris in my white Hanes as opposed to his usual black Calvin Klein bikini underwear with the white waistband. It was as though I had cloned Chris in my image.

 

We played cards for a while. Then it was bedtime. The following day Chris helped me again with sorting out my mom's belongings. I loved having him there. I didn't ask when he was planning on leaving. He didn't say he had to go home. Each following day for the next 10 days he just hung out there with me. Every day he borrowed a new pair of my underwear and a clean shirt or sweatshirt to wear. And every day we took care of some other chore that needed sorting. We even ran out of underwear since there were both of us using them and Chris did a load of laundry for me. We shared countless meals, countless precious moments, and so many halfsies lunches at the pancake house that week.

 

After 10 days I was the one who told Chris he needed to go back to his routine. I gave him a long and awkward bear hug, as per my custom, and loaded him back in his car. No matter what comes, no matter who we each marry, where life may take us, Chris will forever be in my life. I love that man. And he really came through for me when I needed him most.

 

Chris

 

Ryan

 

The start of the second semester was a bit rough for me, coming off from such a tragedy. But luckily Chris and the rest of my buddies from the baseball team were there for me. I was able to find an escape by diving into school work and baseball. Life came back to normal within a few weeks.

 

Now, the other part of going off to college was to get laid. The endless sex stories, but so far nothing happened to Chris or me. I was never a smooth operator around the ladies, and Chris was even more shy than me and still a virgin by last account. He was spending more time with his crew at the Hellenic Society, but I didn't think it was leading anywhere.

 

One night we got into some hijinks. This guy on our dorm floor named Keith told us he was going to some big party at his girlfriend's sorority. He was pretty sure she was going to be wasted by the end of the night. He told a few of us freshmen to hide at a certain time in the closet in his room. He would bring her back and bang the shit out of her as she was naked and we could all watch. He didn't care, she was not marriage material. He just wanted us to have a free peep show.

 

Sure enough, just after 1 AM they came home. Chris and I and two other freshmen were already huddled in the closet in that room. They came home and in no time he had her naked on his bed with the legs up in the air. He took off his clothes too and started banging the shit out of her. I have had sex myself before, and I've seen porn online, but this was the first time I was seeing a sex show of any sort. I have to say, it was kinda hot. I was digging it. That whole voyeur thing was doing something for me. I couldn't help but start touch myself over my pants even though there were three other guys in that closet with me. I wasn't gonna whip out my dick, but I was touching myself. I looked around. The other two freshmen were giggling like hyenas, and Chris was just mesmerized. He looked absolutely hypnotized.

 

Eventually the other two guys couldn't control their giggles and all four of us just feel out of the closet. Even though it made a loud sound, the main two actors kept going at it like nothing happened. They couldn't care less. They kept banging. The four of us got up and left. By the time we closed the door behind us, all four of us had a severe case of the giggles. We all collapsed on the floor again and kept laughing at the shenanigans. The whole thing was so absurd and awkward, although I had discovered voyeurism. It was a new side of me I did not know existed.

 

Teenage boys sometime jerk off together as they go through puberty and discover testosterone. I never had that kind of friendship at that age for anything like that to happen. My new friendship with Chris was the best and closest friendship I have ever had. Yeah, perhaps we were a bit too old for circle jerks now at 18, but I tried a couple of times to initiate something. We had caught each other jerking off solo at night a couple of time. I wouldn't have minded if it turned into a chance to really jerk off at the same time. Not that I was into him in that way. But as my best friend I didn't mind looking at him. I wanted to see someone have sex or at least pleasure him/herself and Chris was my natural choice. In a best friend kind of way. I kept trying, and he participated in a limited manner when he was comfortable. I never got to see him even though I offered for him to see me. If I was not voyeuring someone, at last I was being voyeured. We never talked about it though. I was too shy to actually ask him. That would be too gay. That sexual tension in our room late at night went on for quite some time.

 

Eventually I met this girl Sarah. She was also from upstate area, about an hour from my house. Also a child of farmers. And also an English major. I'd give her a solid 7 in the looks department, an 8 if she dolled up a bit. Over the next couple of weeks things got more serious. And before you knew it, first base and second base needed a time and place for third base to happen. I asked if Chris would mind giving us the room that Tuesday night, and he was happy to oblige. And home run. Twice. She couldn't keep her hands off of me. A biter, but her pussy was warm.

 

Even though I was spending the majority of my time with Chris, in class and otherwise, I was making more time for Sarah. I asked Chris a few more times for the room alone. I was surprised he had a place to be at all those times I asked for our room alone. We also used the whole sock on the door handle thing. So juvenile.

 

One time Sarah and I came back to our room late at night after a party. I had forgotten to ask Chris for the room alone. By the time we got there he was already asleep in bed. Sarah and I were a bit drunk still from the party, and too horny not to do anything. She whispered that she will be so quiet but she was not going home without getting fucked first. I couldn't help myself. As quietly as I could I stripped her and me both. I sat on my bed, leaning on the wall with my head, and with my legs dangling on the side of the bed to the floor. Without asking, I grabbed her by her hair and planted her on my cock. She took all of it in one shot. I didn't know if Chris was going to wake up from the noise as he had in the past when the two of us were jerking off. I actually subversively kinda wanted him to watch me. I was getting a blow job and then I was going to fuck her. And Chris could watch if he wanted. That was the voyeur in me coming out. I loved Chris so much I wouldn't mind if he actually got up and joined me in banging this chick. It was time for him to lose his virginity. Or just look the whole time, whatever suited him. But mostly my dark desire was to be looked at.

 

Chris

 

That was a new first. I had seen this girl Sarah before. She was Ryan's new romantic interest. They came from similar backgrounds. Only natural they find a lot in common. But this, here, in front of my eyes I never expected.

 

Ryan had been good to plan his sexual escapades with her and I always had managed to find a place to be, mostly having sex in Demetrios's room when Ryan needed the room all to himself. This encounter tonight I guess he had not planned. Just like so many other times I had been in the room when he was jerking off, I was privy to a peep show. This time with two actors. I tried to look with my eyelids just barely open so they would not be interrupted by me being awake. Let them think I was sleeping.

 

Ryan was leaning on the opposite wall with his body facing me. I had a front row seat. Sarah's head kept bopping up and down on his 8 incher and he was enjoying himself. But instead of looking at her, he kept looking straight into my eyes. He knew I was watching. I was busted. Finally, I opened my eyes and admitted what he knew. Just then he gave me a naughty grin. He was giving me a peep show just like the other one we had seen a couple of weeks earlier. He was giving me more silent communication that he was giving attention to Sarah. He was enjoying giving me a show more than he was enjoying getting blown.

 

I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. I couldn't close my eyes now and pretend it never happened. I was too deep in. That line had been crossed. And Sarah was oblivious to the whole thing. After a few minutes, he picked her up by the head and flung her on the bed. She was laying diagonally, with her head closest to me and her leg almost touching the opposite wall. Ryan climbed on top and like an expert inserted his cock into her pussy. The pounding then begun. But all through this, as he was on top of her and fucking her, he kept looking at me. He wanted to make sure I was still looking. He was fucking her but communicating with me though his naughty grin. He wanted to make sure I was part of the scene.

 

The boner in my underwear was begging for attention. I didn't dare. I just couldn't. This whole thing was not my cup of tea. As much as I enjoyed seeing Ryan in action, it was his moment, not mine. I just kept wishing it were me under Ryan getting pounded. I just hoped I would have had that kind of access to Ryan's gorgeous body. I kept wishing it was my ass getting pounded by Ryan instead of Sarah's pussy. I was aroused and nauseous from the situation all at the same time.

 

Eventually Ryan came. I've seen his sequence of muscle spasm from other nights when it was only the two of us in the room. I don't know if Sarah came. I don't think Ryan cared if she did or did not. He got off of her and quietly motioned for her to get dressed. She thought I was asleep the whole time as I had more eye contact with her boyfriend throughout the whole thing than she did. They tried to leave the room quietly. I guess he was escorting her to her room. I managed to rub one out before Ryan came back. I couldn't possibly admit any of it or talk to him about it. Instead, I rolled on my side facing my wall and pretended to be sleeping as he walked in. He did come over to check on me, but as he saw no reaction, he assumed I was sleeping already. I wasn't. I couldn't fall asleep all that night. I was so conflicted by everything I had seen. I had seen Ryan's stiff cock a couple of times in the past as he tossed the covers jerking off. But this was the first time I saw a pair of lips on that gorgeous cock. It was the first time we had made direct eye contact during any of it. He wanted me to see it and I reluctantly acknowledged that I did in fact see it all. So many lines were crossed that night. I hoped this does not affect our friendship. I loved him too much for anything to happen to us.

 

Ryan

 

That was a crazy night. I was having sex with Sarah, but I was enjoying Chris's company there even more. I was communicating more with him than her. He was more part of the act than she was. She was the body, but he was the soul I wanted. I'm sure I crossed some lines of decency. But I loved voyeurism. And I guess what I did last night was exhibitionism.

 

The following morning we got up as per our routine. When we headed out of the dorm building, I had to break the ice. "I hope we didn't wake you up last night, wink-wink!"

 

"You're an asshole, you know that?" he said as he jabbed his elbow into the side of my chest in a very joking kind of way. We burst into laughter, just as we had done so many times over so many silly little things in the past. The ice was broken.

 

"I don't know what got into me. Ever since we had that episode of watching Keith and his girlfriend from the closet, I find it intriguing watching or being watched. Does that make me a freak?"

"YES!" Chris replied very decisively.

 

"Anyway, sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Perhaps that was a bit immature of me. Even though I was loving sharing that moment with you. I should have asked if that was something you wanted me to share with you."

 

"I'd have to say, it was kinda hot though," he said. "I'm glad you're getting laid on a regular basis. Good for you. Sarah is a lucky girl to have you. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

 

"What's going on with you? Met anyone when I'm not with you 24/7? Anyone in the Hellenic Society?"

 

"Well, that's complicated."

 

That one sentence made me suddenly see the light. I had known Chris for long while now. More closer than I had known anyone else in my life. But he had always been more shy about sex and sexuality. That was the only part of his life he never opened up to me about. I just assumed he was shy. But I had started to develop suspicions that it wasn't just pure shyness that was holding him back. One of the guys from the baseball team had said something once, and now it all made sense. What a stupid ass I've been all this time. I was so absorbed in myself and my version of things that I did not see it coming. Of course he was. It all made sense now.

 

Right then I made a vow to myself. If I were his best buddy before, I will be million times his best buddy once he finally comes out to me. I will fight for him. I will accept and love him million times more. My future family and his future family will be best friends forever and forever. I will not let anyone harm him or ridicule him. I doubt his parents would react badly being the liberals they are, but I will be his family if they did. I will always stand by his side.

 

For the next few weeks I became hyperaware of myself. Of course I loved spending every single moment with him, but I also had to give him room to grow. I didn't quiz him about his comings and goings. He seemed to be gone one or two nights a week. I didn't ask any questions.

 

One time one his drawers was a bit open when I came back from a baseball practice. I could see a dildo in the drawer. I did not dare pry in. Another time I came back from weekend away on baseball games and there were used condom wrappers in the garbage bin. At least I knew he was being safe. I was so happy for him that he was not a virgin any more. I was ready to wait for as long as it took for him to come out to me. I did not take it personally. It was his issue, his timeline, his readiness. I had already practiced the look of surprise I was supposed to give him when he would finally tell me. Or was that not actually the best response? Should I tell him I knew all along and was just giving him love and support until he decided the moment was right?

 

That was a full semester. It finally came to an end. I got straight A's, which I needed for my law school application. Chris did decent too, though grades were not as important to him. He was heading off back to New York, and I was heading back to the farm to help out my dad. The summer crops had always been a busy time for us and he could use all the help I could give.

 

Chris and I made plans to visit each other several times. I couldn't go that long without him around. Our first plans were in 3 weeks when I would visit them in their summer farm house in Rhinebeck. I couldn't wait.

 

Chris

 

My affair with Demetrios was purely physical. It was not going to survive a long distance summer break. Instead, I looked forward to Ryan coming to stay with me in the summer house in a few weeks.

 

But, it was time to come out. Over dinner one night, I told my parents I was gay. They couldn't even fake being surprised. What they WERE surprised about was that Ryan was straight and that he was NOT my boyfriend. This whole time they assumed Ryan and I were a couple. They were giving him the treatment they would give their future son-in-law, not just a best friend. They were hugely disappointed I was not romantically involved with Ryan. They loved him so much and were looking forward to have him become family. My mom was very, very, very disappointed. My parents are so weird.

 

3 weeks on the dot, I picked up Ryan at the train station. Any such reunion (or good bye) is always preceded by a giant bear hug courtesy of Ryan. I was just so glad to be on the receiving end of those hugs, although one day he will crack one of my ribs. We went to a lunch joint downtown first and went halfsies on two dishes. Then we came back to the house and hung out by the pool. This time he brought a bathing suit with him. It was only a year ago when he was here staying with us the first time. But so much had happened between then and now. We had gone through ten years of life experiences in this one year. We had an unbreakable bond. Except it was time for me to come out to him.

 

Before dinner we went for a walk around the neighborhood. That was the time I had planned to tell him, but I chickened out. We had dinner at home with my parents, and then Ryan and I went downtown for ice cream. I thought I'd tell him then, but it didn't happen. Later we pretended to watch some random TV as we chatted, that was not the time either.

 

Eventually we went back upstairs and got ready for bed. Ryan took the top bunk, I took the lower, as per the custom. Each one was in his own bed.

 

"I need to tell you something Chris," he said.

 

Wait, I was the one with butterflies in my belly all day trying to find the right moment to come out to him. And HE was the one who had to tell me something?!?

 

"You there?" he said once I did not respond immediately.

 

"Sure, just caught me off guard. I was the one who wanted to tell you something. But you go first."

 

He climbed back down and shoved me to the other side of my bed and joined me in my bed without being invited, just like had done last year this time. This was such a Ryan move I had not only got accustomed to, but had learned to appreciate and endear. He planted his head on my pillow, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, our feet touching in an embarrassing yet erotic manner. He then opened up, as he looked straight up and I had my head leaning to look at him.

 

"Things have not been pretty at the farm. My dad has taken my mom's death really hard. And with me gone, the whole house was in a disarray. The place was filthy and abandoned. He just doesn't think he could go on like that, all alone on a huge farm. All the rest of his side of the family live in South Carolina and he wants to move closer to them. He is selling the farm and will go there as soon as he can. He is tired of farm work too. Too much responsibility. He will use the money from the sale of the farm to buy a small one-bedroom house there and go work in some other remedial job."

 

My heart sank for him. I instinctively grabbed his hand in mine as he continued his story. He was happy to hold my hand in his.

 

"Not only I will be homeless, but I will be losing my legal residence in New York. That would disqualify me from in-state tuition that is covered by my baseball scholarship. I don't have the money to go to school on the out-of-state tuition rate. I don't want to have to drop out of school."

 

His voice was beginning to tremble. Not as badly as when the time when his mom died, but I knew him well to know he was once again shaken to his core.

 

He used his free hand to wipe a tear from the side of his eyes. "Do you think your parents would be kind enough to let me use either this address or the on in New York City as my new legal residency address. Is that going to have all kinds of legal ramification for them if I did that? I have nowhere else to go. You're my only hope. You're the only other support system I have." This time I used my free hand to wipe another tear from his other eye closest to me.

 

I had not run any of it by my parents, but I said with a stern voice: "Ryan Mueller, not only you will change your legal address to our address, but you're actually moving in with my family and me. I know my parents and they will be delighted to have you around. In fact, they are really more fond of you than you think." I was referencing to my own self that my parents wanted Ryan as their son-in-law.

 

"No, no, no, no, no," he said. "I wouldn't dare impose like that. I just need a legal address until I can figure things out. I'll manage, really. I just need a break until I do."

"Ryan, it's been decided. You're staying with us for as long as you need. If you want your privacy, fine. But as far as my parents and I are concerned you're family. And that's the last I'm gonna hear about that."

 

There was a very loaded silence. Finally he said: "I love you, man. You're the best buddy I could have hoped for."

 

There was another silence. I realized we were still holding hands. I didn't want to let go.

 

After 10 minutes like this, each one of us deep in his own personal thoughts, he said: "Your turn."

 

"My turn what?" I had lost the train of thought from our earlier conversation.

 

"You said you had something to tell me too."

 

The bastard had kept track this whole time. I was so overcome by the concept of Ryan living with us that I had forgotten I was going to come out to him at some point this weekend together.

 

"Well?" he was insistent.

 

"It took me a long time to have the courage to do this. In fact, I only told my parents a week ago and you're the first person to know after that. Ryan, I'm gay. And I'm so sorry I was so insecure in myself I had not told you all this time."

 

Another awkward silence.

 

Finally, he broke the ice: "Is this the part I'm supposed to pretend to be all surprised, or am I supposed to tell you that I support you so completely that I had known for quite some time but gave you the courtesy to do things based on whatever time sequence you were comfortable with? I don't know what are the PC kids doing these days."

 

"You're an asshole!" I yelled at him. And we both burst into a laughter. The kind that your belly hurts for the whole next day.

 

Leave it to Ryan to have the most awesome response ready at the drop of a hat. He diffused the situation with love, support, and even humor. That's why I adored him so much.

 

"And how long ago did you figure it out, pray tell?" I asked.

 

"Sometime middle of last semester. But seriously, I am so proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to come out, even if your parents and the rest of your surrounding are fierce liberals. I just want to this moment to pledge my unconditional support and love for you. I will stand by you through whatever life journeys take you through. I will protect you from anyone who would stand in your way or wish you harm."

 

It was my turn to wipe a tear from my own eyes. Just then I realized we were still holding hands this whole time, as each one of us had to confess a secret. The load was off and both our minds were at ease. He laid there in my bed with me, holding hands, a while longer. He then turned toward me, gave a quick fatherly kiss on the forehead, and then climbed back to his top bunk.

 

When he was tucked in, he said: "I love you, man. Good night."

 

I was the first one to wake up the next morning. I got out of my bottom bunk and looked at his bed. He was in the same exact position as he was a year ago the first time he slept over: sleeping on his side, with an 8-inch morning wood trying to escape his tighty whities. In this past year, so much has happened. I had seen his cock naked, and in action. I had gotten a million bear hugs from him. We had split hundreds of halfsies dishes in various eateries. I came out to him and he was moving in with us. It has only been a year, but it felt like a lifetime.

 

That next morning we told my parents that I came out to Ryan and that Ryan was moving in with us. If they couldn't have him as a son-in-law, they were just ecstatic to have him as a second son. We had a spare bedroom in our city apartment and that would be his bedroom. We even had a guest bedroom here in this summer house but he insisted on taking the bunk bed in my room with me.

 

Ryan

 

 

I went back home after a magical weekend again with the Dukakis family. I was now `officially' adopted. We changed all the school forms to say I lived with them in the city even though I had never been to that apartment. They told me the room was fully furnished, but please bring any items I needed to make myself comfortable there. The truth is, besides my clothes, a few baby albums, and a few sport trophies I didn't own much in this world. My entire life possession could fit into one suitcase and one duffel bag.

 

I showed up with all my stuff there two weeks later. Chris picked me up at the train station and helped me with my stuff. We went to their apartment building. The was one doorman in white gloves just to open the main palatial doors. There was another doorman in charge of announcing guests. Each elevator had its own doorman there to help with packages, etc. As we passed each station Chris made sure to introduce me as the new family member moving in.

 

Although I had never been to this apartment before, the living room was very familiar. It was the same living room I had seen pictures of the family hosting the Clintons and the Obamas. Chris showed me to my room. It was right next to his, and his parents' bedroom was on the other side of the apartment. We each had a large en-suite bathroom, fancier than any hotel I've ever seen. Chris's room still had a hint of boyish decorations from when he was younger and he never bothered updating the furniture. My room was of identical size, with a queen size bed, and more neutral decorations picked out by him mom or some fancy decorator.

 

His mom had already cooked up a storm for my first night there. I was so embarrassed she had gone through all that effort on account of me. There were more traditional Greek dishes, each more fresh and flavorful than the next. Homemade baklava was the traditional dessert.

 

After dinner Chris and I went back to my room to help me unpack and settle in. I just did not have enough clothes or personal items to fill all those closets. There were so many luxuries here I was not used to. Luxuries Chris grew up with, and perhaps took for granted. But he never seemed pretentious or entitled. He was more than glad to spend all those days with me back last January in our home borrowing my old beat up clothes.

 

Eventually it was bedtime. This seemed awkward to me. I had got accustomed to having Chris there as my roommate. We always slept in the same room when we were together, in college, in their summer house and even in my old bedroom at the farm. It was weird to say good night and have the room all to myself.

 

After 20 minutes of tossing and turning in my new bed in my new room, I got up. I walked out, and Chris's door was wide open.

 

"You up?" I whispered softly.

 

"Am now!" he replied after a moment.

 

I ran and jumped on his bed next to him and declared: "slumber party!" He didn't know what hit him.

 

"What's your problem now?" he asked.

 

"It's just weird. We've been roommates for like ever, and here we are you're in one room and I'm in a different room all alone. I'm not used to it."

 

"You need help. My parents give you a whole room to yourself and here you are in my bed with me wearing nothing more than your tighty whities. And mind you I finally came out to you just a couple of weeks ago."

 

"Oh shit, I never occurred to me, is this a trigger for you? I've been feeling this comfortable with you for such a long I didn't realize I needed to change things."

"No it's not a trigger. I just love that rather than basking in some luxury you would rather have my company. It just says a lot about you. Please don't change anything."

 

We laid there for a while and talked a lot about absolutely nothing. Eventually I kissed his forehead good bye and went back to my room.

 

The next day Chris and I searched the internet for a summer job for me. It was one thing Chris's parents would not accept a symbolic rent from me or would be insulted if I offered to help with the household duties, but I needed some pocket money for the rest of the year.

 

The following night I lay in my bed again tossing and turning. 20 minutes later, not even getting out of bed, I yelled through the open doors: "You up?"

 

"Yup!"

 

That was my sign to go over and spend another half hour with him in his bed to shoot the crap. Same kiss on the forehead good night and back to my room.

 

The night after that things went a bit different. Before I had a chance to inquire, Ryan just walked into my room and planted himself next to me in my bed. It is amazing how much we had to talk about late at nights in those relaxed situations. Just laying in bed. Two guys in their underwear having a pillow talk each and every night, one gay and one straight. Things also went differently that night. We talked so much that we must have fallen asleep in the middle of it. We woke up the next day and Chris was still there. He was sleeping on his side and his morning wood was peaking from the top of his Calvin Kleins. I had seen him naked before, but this was my first time seeing his boner. I was glad his dick was getting some action finally, although he still had not told me the whole story.

 

Chris

 

I had lied to Ryan. He had asked me if him jumping into my bed just wearing his underwear, and by extension all the physical comfort level he had with, was a trigger. I told him no. But of course the answer was yes. Straight guys don't jump into bed with gay guys and spend the night there in their underwear. Not even straight guys with straight guys, and most certainly not gay guys with other gay guys unless you're getting laid. Perhaps he had developed that level of physical comfort with me before he knew I was gay, and now the comfort level was here to stay.

 

But perhaps the reason was that Ryan had no concept of personal space. Not in an ignorant kind of way, but in an endearing kind of way. If he wanted to give me a bear hug, he would just do it and hold on as long as he wanted to, even in the middle of church during his mom's funeral or on a train platform. If he wanted to jump into bed with me, he was just going to do that regardless of what social norms were supposed to be. It was his kind heart, his soft nature, that allowed him to show affection much stronger than what society told him otherwise. Maybe if he knew in advance I was gay he would have put some guards up, but we have crossed too many lines to regress now.

 

And for me, these triggers did not help. I idolized his soul and I idolized his body. Every time he was there next to me in his tighty whities in his bed or mine, I kept fantasizing that he would roll over and plant his lips on mine. I fantasized about me grabbing his morning wood and blow him until he shot his load in my mouth. I fantasized that he would hold my legs up in the air and pound my ass hard with his 8 incher. All this while we were talking about little inconsequential topics laying in bed. All this while he was nearly naked next to me. If only I could have all of him, not just his heart. I craved his body now more than ever.

 

The sleepovers a couple of times a week became a routine. His bed or mine. My mother asked me several times if I was being truthful with her and if perhaps Ryan WAS my boyfriend after all. Or maybe Ryan was confused and I just needed to help him come out. She thought all that emotional and physical bond between us, there had to be more to it than just best friends. I reassured her otherwise. She was just set on having him as her son-in-law. There was no convincing her otherwise.

 

My father arranged for a summer job for Ryan in his firm, and I interned at an interior design firm. At night we hung out and hit the town. That was the most amount of time he had spent in New York City.

 

He insisted we should hit some of the gay hangouts to check out the scene now that I was out. There were a few piers on the Hudson River. We went sunbathing there with all the cruisy boys a few times. He even came with me to a gay bar as my wingman. Obviously, he was getting more attention than me. He was a gorgeous man and a catch. He wasn't having any of it and kept hiding behind me. He wanted to be supportive, but he did not want to be the center attention. I also went with him to some straight bars. Once again he was a magnet. He exuded such charm and sincerity that it could be hypnotizing. Neither one us dared bring anyone back to my parents' apartment.

 

My family had planned on our usual summer trip beginning of August. My father was insistent that Ryan should join us, all expenses paid, and Ryan was in turn insistent that he very much appreciated the gesture but that was beyond generous. Besides, he wanted to keep working hard at the firm to make a good impression and earn some more money.

 

My parents and I spent two weeks away. Yes, there were many texts and phone calls exchanges. One time he sent me a picture of him in his tighty whities on my bed and comically eating cookies in way that he had scattered crumbs all over. Another time he sent me a picture of him naked on my bed humping a sex doll doggie style, with a big fat grin and a thumbs up. How he got the doll and what he did with it I didn't want to know. When we got back, I got another bear hug that made up for all the times I missed him.

 

Ryan

 

After a great summer at Chris's parents place, it was time for year 2 in college. Chris and I still had a whole bunch of classes together. I went back to dating Sarah on and off, and Chris finally introduced me to Demetrios. He was the lucky guy Chris lost his virginity to. Now that they were back in school, they resumed their romance. I was so happy for him.

 

We did many double dates. But no matter how hard Sarah and Demetrios tried, they could not overshadow the bond between Chris and me. We still did halfsies on meals even when we went on double dates.

 

Now that we were both getting laid on a regular basis, neither one of us needed to jerk off as much at night in our room. But we occasionally did. I tried to join in with Chris if I was awake and around. We never talked about those intimate moments between us.

 

I was added to the Dukakis family chat group. They had a second son now for all intents and purposes. So many times his mom would just call me directly and check on me; as often as she checked on Chris. I got as many care packages from them. They came for Homecoming and it was the awesome foursome again. We left Sarah and Demetrios out of it.

 

For Christmas I wanted to go visit my dad. Chris's family did an early celebration just for me. Chris and I got matching identical gifts. It was as though they bought presents for twins. I had never been showered with so much kindness in my life.

 

The visit with my dad was awkward at best. It seemed the cigarette and booze consumption had intensified. I didn't have much in common with him anymore, except the painful loss of my mom. I couldn't wait to go back to New York to be with my new family.

 

The second semester came and went. I was able to land the same summer job, and Chris got the same internship again. We were going to enjoy a nice summer in the city. Mr. Dukakis said that in no uncertain terms, this year I was going on the family vacation with them. Mrs. Dukakis gave me such a stern look that I was actually scared to decline the offer. It was as if they would be offended if I didn't go with them. I insisted that I couldn't possibly agree for them getting a separate hotel room for me for the two weeks. Chris and I would gladly share the one room they were going to get for Chris. Mrs. Dukakis rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath: "But of course you two would."

 

I had never been to most parts of our own country, let alone outside of the US. I got my passport. We spent one week in Italy, one week in Greece. The food, the sights, the people, it was all magical. We shared so many more halfsies dishes as we wanted to sample all that great food. And yes, Chris and I shared that one room they promised. Once I found out how much an additional room rate was, I was really glad I insisted.

 

Chris

 

The whole family had a magical time. This was the first time I had a play buddy join me on a trip. One time I even made Ryan wear one of my new European bikini bathing suits to the pool. He looked so hot with that form-fitting, body-hugging cut on him. Everyone in the pool was drooling over him.

 

It was still all fun and games for a couple of days when we got back. One day Ryan was not being himself any more. He seemed in deep remote thoughts all through dinner. He hardly said a word. My parents noticed too and asked me if he was OK. I didn't know what was the problem.

 

Later that night, he still had not said anything. We got ready to go to bed in our respective rooms. 20 minutes later I yelled through the open door: "Are you coming here or am I coming over there?" I heard footsteps.

 

He came over in his usual tighty whities and took his usual spot in my bed. We have had some of our best conversations during those late-night pillow talks. He plopped himself down extra hard on my bed. You could tell he had a heavy heart. My adorable Ryan, he was so innocent you could read his mind from across the room.

 

He reached out and held my hand, the same way he did the night he told me about his dad selling the farm and I came out to him. I knew it was serious.

 

"I got a letter from school today," he finally uttered with a heavy tone. "They are cutting the baseball program. They're cancelling my scholarship. It's all gone with the latest budget cuts."

 

"Wow, can they do that just like that? With no advance warning?" I asked.

 

"Well, they just did. And I don't know what to do. They sent me the tuition and room and board bill for this year and there is no way I can afford that on my own. I just don't know what to do." His voice was going into a tremble, sadly I knew this side of him too. "I might have to take a year off to work and save up for the last two years. Or maybe apply for a student loan, but my father's finances are so screwed up, good luck getting his tax filing for the application. I might have to go to a cheaper community college to finish college altogether."

 

His grip on my hand was becoming tighter. His voice was trembling more now. I leaned my head sideways on his shoulder in a gesture of compassion. He leaned his head back on mine in appreciation.

 

After a long pause I said: "As long as you got me, you don't need to worry about that. I got you covered."

 

He didn't respond. I don't think he understood what I was referring to. I think he thought I was offering him more emotional support. I was offering more than just emotions. I was offering real support.

 

I continued: "There is enough money in my trust fund to send a thousand students to college for free all four years. And ever since I turned 18, I have full access to all of it. I have not touched any of it since there was no reason to. But I will be damned if I would let you drop out of school or get left behind. I'll cover all your costs for you. For the sake of two of us."

 

There was a long string of arguments back and forth with Ryan adamantly refusing, and me getting more argumentative about not having any of it. I had the means to take care of it that I shall. Finally he agreed, but I had to promise him it was a loan and not a gift. Whatever. He was overjoyed. I could hear his heart pumping. He was as giddy as a little boy who got the best possible gift he had hoped for. In a moment of excitement, he finally let go of my hand and gave me a bear hug with me on the bottom and him on top of me. Usually his bear hugs were when we were fully clothed and standing up. But this time I was all flat on my bed. His naked chest on my naked chest. His crotch on my crotch. His full weight on top of me. As usual for Ryan, he did not want to let go. The whole situation was too erotic for me, having him almost naked on me like that. My dick started to get stiff. All my efforts to suppress it did not help. It went to full boner in 10 seconds, and it escaped from the top elastic of my underwear. It was resting between my naked belly and his naked belly. He must have felt it too, because he gently adjusted himself a bit.

 

He then gave me a fatherly kiss on the forehead and said: "Sorry I got carried away with my enthusiasm." I was the one who had popped an inappropriate boner, and he was the one apologizing; that's Ryan in a nutshell for you. He then pulled himself off of me and just laid on his side of the bed, allowing me to get my composure back. There was a drop of my precum on his belly.

 

I would have been petrified if he had made a big deal about it. Like get up and leave. Instead, he just rolled on his side and said: "Good night. I love you, man!" And with that he went to sleep. I was still a bit shaken myself. I had done a good job in the past year to make sure Ryan thought our relationship was platonic. I did my best for him not to feel that I sexualized him. As much as I lusted for him sexually, I actually adored him personally million times more. I hope this one boner doesn't ruin it all.

 

Ryan

 

With Chris's help, I was able to pay tuition for the next two years. I swore to him I'd pay him back. Sarah was replaced by Hannah (I know), and Ryan moved on from Demetrios as well. He met a string of guys, both from college and from town. We managed to work out our privacy situation well for whenever we needed the room.

 

The next summer was the same routine with my job, Chris's internship, and the summer trip with his parents. I still count my lucky stars how his family totally took me in and gave me shelter as if I was their own son.

 

Fourth year of college was more crucial. I took my LSAT's, and with my grades and those awesome recommendations, especially the ones from my summer jobs, I got accepted into NYU law school. With full academic scholarship. Chris managed to get a job at the same design firm he had interned at all these summers. He got a very lucrative beginning position. They loved him and he had an impeccable taste. It was only natural that we would find an apartment together in New York. It was not normal to stay with his parents any more.

 

We moved back to his parents' place for a couple of weeks after graduation until we found an apartment. We found this tiny two-bedroom pre-war apartment in West Village. Third floor walk-up. No amenities. No air conditioning. Decrepit appliances. A single bathroom to be shared between us both. But that's all my budget could allow me to afford. Chris was a good sport and went along with it, although I'm sure with his trust fund and his salary he could buy an apartment as big as his parents. I felt bad dragging him to Ikea to buy some basic furniture. Again, he deserved so much more, and he could afford so much more, but he did not want to make me feel uncomfortable.

 

On our first day there, the delivery people brought the beds and all the furniture still in flat boxes. Chris's parents came during the day with bags of groceries and all kinds of homemade food they knew I loved. They did some kind of Greek blessing of the new home, which I thought was very special. Then they left us alone so we can unpack and get settled. As soon as we kissed them good bye and closed the door, I started jumping from joy. Like a crazy puppy, I started bouncing all over the mattresses still on the one corner of the living room. I just kept screaming: "This is our home, this is our home!" as I literally crawled up the walls. Finally Chris had to calm me down so I don't injure myself or break something.

 

After that we each helped the other one set up the bedframes and headboards. Then we each took care of unpacking our personal items in our rooms. It was a hot July afternoon and we had no air conditioning. I stripped to my underwear as I kept working.

 

By dinner time, I checked on Chris and he too could not take the heat. He was in his bikini underwear too. Since the living room furniture was still in boxes, we sat on the floor and ate all the good food his mom had brought us, with the Greek wine his father brought over. My first night in my first apartment. And I shared it with my all-time favorite person in the world. It could not get any better than that.

 

Most of the apartment was almost set up by bed time. I crawled into my new bed and loved it. My bed, which I had bought with my own money, for my own apartment. But, it was empty. The person I cared for the most was next door in his own room. In his own bed. I left my bed and went to his bedroom. I laid on my side of the bed, his bed, and we got into one of our magical pillow talks. I slept over. The next night, he came into my room unannounced and slept over. 3 or 4 nights each week we would sleep in each other's bed. Either one of us went over organically, or the other one summoned him over 10 minutes into bed time. Those quiet times, laying down in one bed and talking about absolutely nothing was just too magical. We were used to sleep in the same college dorm room. Even over at his parents' place we snuck into the other bed every once in a while. But this idea of using in the same bed most of the time was a new level of comfort for us. For me, at least.

 

Chris

 

Ever since the first day in our new apartment, we got into the habit of hanging out in just our underwear when we were home. It was our own place, not a college dorm or my parents' place. So it was much easier being comfortable like that. Eventually when the seasons changed, I made sure the heat was always on high enough for us not to need to cover up. I loved the unlimited view of Ryan's almost naked body. It was all there for me to gawk it.

 

The sleepovers in my bed or his intensified. But that was not the only abnormal thing that happened on a routine basis between two men who were not sexually involved. One time he was studying in his room and I was hanging in my room. I didn't want to interrupt his school work. As I was laying in bed and browsing the internet, I felt kinda horny. I went to a porn site. I didn't want to disturb him (or to be found out) so I put my noise cancelling headphones on. I went through all kinds video on this one site. Finally there was this one video with one of the actors that could have been a doppelganger for Ryan. Same baby face with Nordic looks. Same slim yet muscular body with boy nipples. Same 8-inch cock.

 

I took off my underwear and started jerking off. This guy was hot and he knew what he was doing. The little twink he was fucking was all twisted in a knot from being thrown around. I stroked myself and watched in lust as this other-Ryan was ready to blow a load. Finally he shot his load on the twink's chest, and that was my cue to cum at the same time. I came so hard I hit my neck. It was super satisfying. As I looked up to grab my cum rag, I saw the Ryan had been standing by my doorframe this whole time. He was leaning on the frame, with one leg folded over the other, and his arm across his chest. I was flabbergasted that he had seen the whole thing.

 

"That was very hot," he said, with a huge grin on his face.

 

I threw the unused cum rag at him and yelled: "Privacy, please!" The rag did not fly that far, and in the meantime he started laughing from the top of his lungs and ran to his room.

 

Then there was this other time he had some random chick over. They started to get busy, but never bothered closing the door. My door was open too, so I could hear the whole thing. He was pounding her. Just then I had to go pee. I just couldn't hold it until they would be done. As I left my room I gave a quick glance into his room. Ryan saw me. He was fucking her doggy style. She could not see me from where she was. Ryan gave me a thumbs up with his hand as he kept fucking her.

 

On the way back from the bathroom, Ryan saw me again. He started making funny faces at me while he was still fucking her. This time I stopped at his door and checked out the scene for a minute. Ryan loved it. He loved being watched. He kept making funny faces at me behind her back. Luckily she could not see me. Finally I flipped him the bird and continued back to my room. I could still hear them. He was right next door getting serviced. I lay in bed and imagined it was me he was fucking doggy style. I wish I had that kind of access to his gorgeous body. I wish it were me whom he lusted for.

 

I laid in bed and took off my underwear. I started jerking off imagining it was me in there with him. I milked my dick, wishing I was that girl who maybe earlier in the night gave him a blowjob too. The things I would do to his dick if only I was allowed to. The way I would worship him, his body, and his dick if only he was my man. But for now, I just jerked off to all that.

 

I could hear him groan in climax next door. I climaxed too. I released my shot all over my belly and chest. I was happy and sad about my fantasy all at the same time. After a few minutes I heard Ryan and the girl move around. Then they came out, she fully dressed and him in his tighty whities, as he escorted her to the door. She was leaving. I was still naked in my room, but at least I had cleaned up my cum.

 

After he let her out the door, he came into my room. He saw that I was naked. He didn't say anything. He took off his tighty whities, tossed them on the corner, and crawled into my bed to his usual spot. He kissed me on the forehead and said: "I hope you enjoyed the show." He then rolled over and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning and he was still sleeping. He was on his side facing me. His gorgeous morning wood was at full staff. I wished I could just grab it. A naked man with a boner in my own bed, I should have the rights to if I wanted. But I didn't.

 

I know, this was a whole fucked up level of comfort I had gotten myself into with Ryan, but that was my life at that moment. Every little level of intimacy possible except for the real sex. That's what I deserved for lusting after my best friend who was straight.

 

Then there was the shower episode. Ryan had to pull an all-nighter for a big exam. When I woke up in the morning he was still in his room sleeping. I didn't know if he was getting a bit of sleep or if he had overslept. In the meantime I hopped into the shower. Halfway through my shower routine, he barged in naked into the tub with me.

 

"I'm running late, move over," he exclaimed. And without letting me digest what was happening, he pulled me to the side of the bathtub away from the shower head, glided himself around me so he could get wet. In the process, his naked dick and balls rubbed on my one thigh. He started washing his front like a madman, with his back to me.

 

"Do my back," he said. Still phased by the situation, I sprang into action. With my loofah still in my hand, I started washing his back as he was shampooing his head. I had a flashback to the time I had washed him after his mom's funeral. I finished the back, gently glided over the plump ass cheeks, bent down and washed the backside of his legs as well. As I was down there, he turned and said: "Thanks buddy. I love you, man," and started rinsing off all the suds. I was still bent down and his dick was one inch away from my mouth. It took all my core strength not to grab it and put it in my mouth.

 

This time it was my dick and balls that rubbed all over his ass cheeks as he danced around me to get out of the bathtub. In all our more-than-unconventional behaviors, that was the first time his dick touched my flesh and my dick had touched his flesh. That was an immense moment. A couple of minutes later when I heard him leave the apartment, I shot my hugest load to date while still in the shower.

 

Yes, grown men do not normally sleep naked together or shower together. But that was where I was with Ryan. A whole series of cock-teases.

 

Then there was this other time I was sleeping in his bed. Just another average night for our household. Around 1:30 AM I was awakened by the bed shaking. Even though I was sleeping on my side with my back to him at that moment, I knew what it was. Ryan was going at it again. Any other time I would pretend I was sleeping and let him finish. This time I didn't. I was more brazen. I turned 180 degrees to face him, laying on my side with my bottom hand supporting my head. I kept looking intermittently on his cock, his body, and his face, and then all over again.

 

He had already taken off his tighty whities. He was fully naked. With both hands he was stroking his cock like it was going out of style. His head was tilted back, his eyes were closed. He kept stroking himself and precum was already flying all over. After a good 10 minutes, his pecs tightened, his belly twitched, his pelvis came up in the air and he shot his load all over his chest and belly. His pelvis then came back to the mattress and he collapsed.

 

After a couple of moments to catch his breath, he opened his eyes. He grabbed his cum rag and cleaned himself off. Without missing a beat, he turned to me, gave me his familiar fatherly kiss on my forehead and said: "Sorry I woke you up." He then curled and got comfortable sleeping on his side facing me. There was still one drop of cum dangling from his cock as he lay sideways. I was willing to give up all my material possessions to be able to lick that one drop for him. To put his dick in my mouth and suck the very last essence of semen out of him. Even if for just one minute. Even if for just one time.

 

Ryan

 

Law school was a whole different game than college. People were there to study, not to party. There was hardly any social scene. An occasional happy hour here and there, but not much. Chris and his family were fast becoming my main social outlet. About once a week Chris and I would meet his parents for dinner some place. Always Chris and I together, never Chris alone. Even a couple of times Chris was out of town for an exhibit, they met just me for dinner the three of us. They always gave us matching Christmas gifts. They showered me with as many birthday gifts as they did for their own sun.

 

Chris was always there for me. He had saved me three times already: when my mom died, when my dad moved away and I needed a place to stay, and when my scholarship ran out and I didn't have tuition money. He was my rock, my savior, my soulmate. He was the reason I had a smile on my face, knowing I can come home and find comfort in his company. Those pillow talks late at night brought so much joy to me. He wasn't just my wingman; he was my soulmate. He was my other half. I was just as comfortable with him in any and all situations as I was with my own self.

 

The following summer Chris and some of his new-ish gay friends rented a share house in Fire Island Pines. I had never been there before. Chris gave me a short synopsis of the place. There were two mostly LGBT communities there. Cherry Grove was the original community. Nowadays most of the people there are a mix of either slightly older gays or the real young ones in the arts, as well as a robust lesbian segment and even many straight people who love the vibe. The next community Fire Island Pines is a newer community. The houses are bigger and fancier. The population is less diverse. It is mostly pretty boys, muscle boys, and boys with jobs lucrative enough to be able to afford the higher rents of the summer shares there. Chris was going in on a house with a group of 7 other guys. There were 4 bedrooms and everyone was doubling up.

 

Chris was gone every other weekend during the summer months to stay there. He would tell me all kinds of tales of partying and debauchery. But there were also meditation and boot camp on the beach. There were AA meetings if you wanted one. There were dinner parties and show tune Sundays.

 

The first night I was in the apartment alone and Chris was gone, I felt so lonely. Once I went to bed, I felt the apartment was too silent with just me there. I went to sleep in his bed even though he was not there. It felt good just to get his scent on me. I rolled around a couple of times just to bask in his essence. From that night on, I slept in his bed every night he was gone. I'm sure he must have noticed once he got back from his weekends; I was never as meticulous as him in making the bed every morning.

 

Every weekend he was gone, I kept having images of Chris there, with other good-looking gay men. Images of him have random hook ups with these men made me jealous. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to get laid. But I couldn't help but being jealous. My heart ached that he was getting something he needed elsewhere and not from me.

 

With him gone all those times, I had a little more time to go on some random dates. Mostly women I found on various dating apps. Mostly good-looking ladies. A few ended up with one-night stands. None of them were girlfriend material, let alone wife material. I kept doubting any of them would ever be able to replace what role Chris played in my life. I was having regrets over the thought that instead of those late night pillow talks with Chris I would have to make a new life with some woman I hadn't even met yet. Would I ever achieve such openness and mutual love with any of them? What would my life look like without Chris by my side all the time every day?

 

Eventually the summer was over and Chris was back home full time. From that moment on, I essentially moved into his bedroom with him. I slept in his room, in his bed, every night. A couple of times just to make sure I was not overstepping my welcome, I stayed in my room. Inadvertently he would either come to sleep in my bed without being asked, or would yell from his room: "Are you coming?" Basically, I studied in my own room, but would go over to sleep in his room with him every night. We never slept apart again. It was such bliss.

 

Chris

 

The summer in Fire Island was definitely a wake-up experience. I had a good number of gay friends, but was never surrounded by all gay all the time like the weekends away. It was the opposite of the real world -- everyone was gay and only a small number of straight people came to visit. People were comfortable to act and dress exactly the way they were. No restrictions, no hold backs, no social limitations.

 

There were cute boys on the beach. Tea dances with more cute boys. Midday parties and midnight parties with even more cute boys. There were random hook ups and planned hook ups. There were Grindr hook ups. There were underwear party hook ups. Sometimes one on one, sometimes in groups. Sometimes in my room, sometimes in their house. Sometimes in the back room of the club. Sometimes in the Meat Rack. And then the housemates would get together for brunch and rosé to discuss it all.

 

I had more sex that summer than all my life combined. Lots of different guys, lots of different poses I learned about. There were some repeat customers, but mostly one-timers. The sex was great. The vibe was great. But it was all mechanical. It was always dicks, ass, repeat. Dick, ass, repeat. None of it meant anything. There was no passion. Most certainly no love. There was plenty to satisfy the body, but not the soul. I knew I deserved more.

 

After the crazy weekends, I was always more than happy to run back home and spend quality time with the only person who had the keys to my heart. Only Ryan connected to my soul. He didn't have the keys to my body, but most certainly had he exclusive keys to my heart.

 

I knew he was sleeping in my bed when I was away. I found it very endearing. Then when the summer was over, he basically moved into my room. He never went back to his bed. He was my one and only companion.

 

In the aftermath of the summer friendships I had formed, I hung out with the guys and dated a few times here and there. Every time I was having sex with a guy, every time I was in someone's bed, I kept thinking I would have much rather have Ryan there in the bed with me even if I was not having sex with him. My platonic relationship with Ryan was so much more satisfying. I would be the happiest man in the world if my relationship with Ryan never changed ever. Just have him spend all his free time with me. Sleep in my bed with me. I didn't need much more than that. I was just scared that one day he would fall in love with a woman and leave me all alone. He would ask me to be his best man, and I would have to hand him over to some random woman to go make a new life with her. I didn't think I would have the courage to deal with that loss.

 

Ryan was not dating much either. I don't know if he had too much school work, or just didn't have the interest any more. But besides going to class and doing school work, he was always there. We occasionally met mutual college friends who were also in the city. We had regular dinner plans with my parents. But otherwise we had exclusive access to each other.

 

The following summer I rented the same Fire Island house with the same guys again. One of the guys had moved to San Francisco in the meantime, so instead of finding another housemate that might disturb our dynamic I offered that I would take both halves of the room to myself. I could afford it, so why not?

 

It was always nice to be able to get away during those hot summer weekends. Each weekend was like a little 3-day vacation. Being on Fire Island you could let loose, be yourself, and just decompress. The only thing is it spelled out more time away from Ryan, which was always a challenge for me. In the past one year we had become so much more dependent on the comfort of each other's company than we ever had in the past.

 

Ryan

 

Chris had not dated anyone in while. I had not dated anyone in a while either. I didn't feel the need, or the urge. I didn't want the company of anyone else. I was busy with law school and he was busy with his career taking off. I didn't need anything more than his company.

 

He had rented the same summer house in Fire Island with his group of friends. I was happy for him to get out and enjoy himself. But I dreaded being home alone every other weekend. Even more so I dreaded the idea of thinking he would spend the weekends there and all kinds of stranger men would be touching him, kissing him, fucking him. I was jealous. I didn't want anyone else to touch him. I wanted him to be mine alone.

 

We were supposed to have two weeks off from law school in July. One of those weekends coincided with his weekend on Fire Island. One time as we laid in bed together late at night I asked if he minded for me to join him and buddies in the house. I knew he had the whole room to himself so I wouldn't be displacing anyone. There was a slight pause. He then explained to me how super gay and different everything was there. He told me it might be a bit of culture shock, but it would be lovely as long as I didn't mind what I saw. He also mentioned that he technically had the rental until Thursday noon. Most housemates left either Sunday night or Monday morning. So if we wanted, we could stay a few extra days and enjoy the place. I was game for all that.

 

The faithful weekend finally came. I was excited. I wanted to dive into his world. See the people he hung out with. See the experiences he had. It was going to be an eye-opening weekend. I packed for a few days; he had a few items there already. I deliberately forgot to pack a bathing suit. I had some things planned out.

 

We took the train to the shuttle to the boat to Fire Island. With each step the crowd got gayer and gayer. Guys in skimpy outfits, flirty outfits, just being themselves. Guys feeling totally comfortable showing PDA. Chris's house was a modest house but was right on the oceanfront. That kind of view is priceless. He had the best room, and had it to himself all summer. There was a single queen bed there. We already have been sleeping in the same bed for like two years.

 

We went to Tea, and then High Tea and Sip N' Twirl. All packed with gorgeous guys just having fun and being themselves. One of the other housemates was on dinner duty. Burgers, pasta, and grilled veggies. It was all magical as we ate it on the deck facing the ocean, with a scattering of hanging lights above us. At some point someone mentioned that one of their friends hangs out in the Meat Rack all day. I asked Chris if that was one of the other bars. He laughed and explained to me that the Meat Rack referred to the area within the woods that connects Pines to Cherry Grove where men go to cruise. People just show up all hours of day of night for anonymous sex. That intrigued my interest, the freedom of it all.

 

After dinner the whole house was going to a midnight pool party at a neighboring house. We showed up and most people were hanging by the bar area. Slowly, two people got naked and started swimming. Then a couple of more people got naked and got into the hot tub. Some more people joined the pool crowd, naked. There were still lots more people fully clothed on the deck. The two guys in the hot tub started making out. Two more people went to one corner, got undressed, and before you knew it one was on his knees blowing the other guy. A third joined them, and the one was blowing both. Then the first guy started fucking the blower as he was blowing the third guy. The two guys who were in the hot tub were sucking face. Another guy was sitting by the pool's edge naked as he was getting blown by some other naked guy in the pool. Still, the majority of people were fully clothed and were hanging out as though all this was just something they see every day.

I left Chris and his friends and took a walk around the deck and the tub. I got a few `come hither' gestures from a few guys. I just wanted to watch. I was mesmerized. I was a voyeur, and this was my paradise. I had never seen this much sex in the open before. And then I looked by the bar and Chris and his housemates were acting like all this was just another night for them. They were not even looking. I made my tour. More people who were previously acting all serious were joining in. It was a free and open atmosphere.

 

Chris

 

I always knew that Ryan was into voyeurism, so this was his paradise. A gay paradise, but a paradise all the same. Like a kid in a candy store, he went around from group to group of guys making out and having all kinds of sex right there in the open. I knew him well enough to know he was mesmerized. He just wanted to look, not touch, or be touched. I let him enjoy the views. Any other night, I might have joined the festivities if I had met the right guy, but in front of Ryan I didn't want to be adventurous. I didn't want to be on display.

 

Eventually he had enough sights to blow his mind, and it was time to go home. I was a bit tipsy from all the drinking. Luckily it was not a long walk home. In our room, we both stripped to our underwear like we always do to go to sleep. We peed in the bowl at the same time, and then brushed in the same sink. We've done this so many times, like an old married couple. When we got back to the bedroom, he took off his tighty whities and tossed them to a corner. The devil got into me and I did the same with my Calvin Kleins. We were going to sleep naked that night. What was even more different is that once we climbed into the bed, he pulled me over and made me his little spoon. That, we had not done before. That was a first. My cock got stiff in no time, despite being partially drunk. My ass could feel his stiff cock too. It was a rock-hard tool pressed against my flesh. I didn't make too much of it, beside pushing myself back into his embrace at tight as I could. Like the saying goes, what happens on Fire Island stays on Fire Island.

 

The next morning I woke up and went to the living room before Ryan. All the housemates wanted a full account. They all knew that I had a straight roommate who was visiting. But the hot guy they saw, there was more to the story, they insisted. Perhaps there was, but not much more. I didn't tell them of all the comforts we provided for each other. I didn't tell them that last night we slept naked for the first time as he held me tight as his little spoon. I didn't tell them his drunk hard on was pressed on my ass all night. I just downplayed it.

 

Once Ryan woke up and we had breakfast, it was beach time. He ruffled through his things frantically.

 

"Shit, I forgot to pack my bathing suit after all," he said in a panic mode.

 

"Then I guess you're going to the beach naked," I replied.

 

"No, seriously, do you have one I can borrow or is there a place I can go buy one?"

 

"I have a few extra ones here that I leave all season. But they are all banana-hammock bikinis, not your cut."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," he said with a playful grin. I knew Ryan well enough. He was never able to hold anything back.

 

I went through my drawers to find him some swimsuits that would fit. I found this Tom Ford bikini in solid navy. That was the most conservative one I could find. I handed it to him. He looked at it as though he was looking for the missing pieces of fabric. He eventually put it on. He was a good sport about it, but I was ready to cum right then and there. The form, the color, the fit was astounding on him. Tom Ford's own best model did not wear this one as well. His body was meant for this particular cut, not all the boxy ones I had seen him in in the past.

 

Ryan and I walked in the living room where the rest of the guys were hanging out. I could see everybody's jaws drop as they saw this breathtaking sight of him in my bikini. He was most definitely the most gorgeous specimen in all of the Fire Island that day. I saw how jealous they were that I was his roommate. They didn't know the half of all the intimate moments I had enjoyed with this straight boy.

 

I couldn't wait to take him to the beach and show him off. We were going for a walk, so we just took our flip flops with us and nothing more. Just the two of us in our bikinis. I kid you not, there was not a single head that was not turned on the beach. Everybody wanted to see who was this new hunk of prime meat they had not met before. So many casual friends came up to us as we walked down the beach to stay hi. I knew they were just being nosy. I think most of their flirtiness was lost on Ryan, but I picked up on it. I felt like I was the princess walking with the most handsome prince in the town, and he was all mine. Well, not all, but as much as one could get from straight hot roommate.

 

After lunch we went back home, and I suggested we could go see Porsche the drag queen perform at the Ice Palace bar in Cherry Grove. We both put on tank tops, still with our bikinis and headed out. We went through what is called the Judy Garland Memorial Park, affectionately also known as the Meat Rack. There are several woodsy walkways that connect the Pines to Cherry Grove. At one point there is an area where if you make a slight turn, that's where guys go to have anonymous sex. I pointed that area to Ryan as we passed by it. We continued to walk.

 

On the way back, we passed the same spot again, and he asked me jokingly if we were going to stop in. I was not up for it, not with him there. That evening we did our tour of Low Tea, High Tea, and Sip N' Twirl again, and ended up back at home. Someone else was on dinner duty.

 

We had planned on doing our own pool party that night. After midnight, a whole bunch of guys came over. It was pretty much a repeat scene of the pool party from last night, except this time at our house. I knew that Ryan would find the scene fascinating again. Sure enough three people jumped in the pool naked and got the festivities started. Five more people followed.

 

This guy Jake I had met two weeks ago came over to chat me up. I got engulfed with him. Ryan was off making his rounds gawking at the guys having sex at the end of the deck. Two more guys were already ass fucking on the upper deck.

 

Jake took me to the hot tub. With a little booze in me, I had forgotten that I was chaperoning Ryan. I got naked and got into the hot tub with Jake. At first it was just conversation. Under all the whirling water his hand reached over for my cock. I reciprocated. We both had hard-ons getting massaged. The conversating was futile, sucking face was the rage. We devoured each other's faces as our cocks got hand jobs from each other.

 

For a brief second I opened my eyes to catch my breath. Ryan was sitting at the edge of the hot tub, with only his calves dangling in. He was wearing the same Tom Ford bikini he was proudly wearing all day. His 8-inch boner was already poking out of the top of that poor excuse of a piece of fabric. He was not stroking himself, but was definitely giving his cock a couple of squeezes here and there.

 

Just then Jake came out of the tub and put his cock smack into my face. I was petrified. Normally at this point I would swallow Jake's cock and make it disappear into my throat. I would suck it until he blew his load in me. I would cherish it. But then again, Ryan was sitting right there and looking at us. In the past 6 years, I had never done any sexual acts in the open in front of Ryan. He had done plenty in front of me, but I had always been reserved about it. There was that one time he was quietly watching me jerk off, but that was by accident. I had never done anything like this knowingly.

 

With a petrified face I looked at Ryan as Jake's cock was waving at me. It was a great moment of temptation for me. Just then Ryan nodded yes, as in go ahead and enjoy yourself. With huge guilt, I put Jake's dick in my mouth. The whole time I was looking at Ryan and he was looking at me. I never lost eye contact with him as I blew this other man who meant nothing to me. I wish it had been Ryan's cock. Instead, he just sat on the other side of the tub, stared me in the eyes, and gave his stiff cock a tuck every once in a while. He loved watching. He loved being watched. This was perfect for him. So many times he had made me watch him, this was his one reward watching me. I didn't bargain for providing a show for him, but here I was. I was aroused, embarrassed, and intrigued all at the same time. Jake was so oblivious to all that body language that was going on between me and Ryan. Eventually Jake realized he was probably too drunk to come. He thanked me for a fantastic blow job and headed out.

 

I was still in the hot tub, and Ryan as still sitting at the edge looking at me.

 

"That was hot," he said.

 

"You're a creep," I replied. We both burst into a laughter. Later that night, we repeated our newfound naked sleeping arrangement with his boner poking into my asscheeks, but nothing more came of it that night.

 

The next morning we woke all and it as business as usual. It was as though all that sexcapade had not happened and things were totally normal between Ryan and me. For lunch I suggested the two of us go to Cherry Grove to eat at Sand Castle's restaurant. It's a beautiful eating spot on the beach with your usual beach food. We wore our bikinis and matching tank tops and headed out. This time it was Ryan who pointed out where the Meat Rack section was as we passed it. In the restaurant, Ryan was the center of attention with his perfect buns in my bikini bottom and very skimpy tank top. They all assumed he was my boyfriend. I loved having him as my arm candy.

 

After we ate, Ryan had to go pee. Just then I got a whole bunch of alerts on my phone from Grindr. This guy whom I had chatted up with a few weeks ago was around and found me and wanted me to come over right now. I texted him that I was with a friend and I couldn't leave him. When Ryan came back from the bathroom, he saw me on Grindr. He knew what it was. He insisted I should go meet the guy. I felt so embarrassed. He said he knew his way back to the Pines and he'll wait for me back home.

 

Very, very, very reluctantly I agreed. I had never been this reckless in front of Ryan. But he was making me do things. It was all at his instance. He gave me one of his bear hugs, which given the location was not weird at all, and we separated. I went to meet my trick. I felt cheap. I was also ashamed of my behavior in front of Ryan.

 

Ryan

 

I had stepped into a whole Pandora's box on this island. The things I've seen were indescribable. I'm not talking about the promiscuity, but about the freedom. About letting go of social norms and being able to live your life openly, even if for just this weekend. I loved watching people having sex, and this place was a paradise for that.

 

On the way home from Cherry Grove, curiosity killed the cat and I decided to go check out the Meat Rack. I was being drawn to it hypnotically. I had to see what happened there. It was not hard to find. Chris was going to be with his trick for a while, so I had time.

 

When I arrived, there were only two guys there. A hot beefy ginger was totally naked and was getting blown by this even hotter black guy. Damn, some of these guys had such hot bodies. The ginger kept gesturing for me to come over. I didn't. But I was getting hard. And these damn skimpy bikinis can't keep a secret. My dick poked from the top in no time. There was no sense in modesty here. I pulled the bikini down and stroked myself as those two continued. A few minutes later, they traded spots and it was the black guy getting blown. He too motioned for me to go over, but I didn't. I was happy where I was. I just wanted to watch. A few minutes later, a random other guy came in. At first he stood not too far from me. Then he took out his dick and started stroking. Seeing I was not about to join the act, he pulled to the other two, bent down and joined the ginger in sucking off the black dude. The black guy had one hand on each of their heads as he orchestrated their mouths on his dick. The ginger gave me a final gesture to come join them. I didn't. This is all I wanted. Just to watch.

 

Chris

 

I knocked on the trick's door. Fuck. It was bait and switch. This guy who had chatted me up for a couple of weeks did not look any more like what his pics did. Not that I minded people looking differently, I just did not appreciate the lack of honesty. All of a sudden I was no longer into it. I didn't want to do anything. I was horned up, but did not want to do anything with this guy. I just wanted another night where Ryan and I would be both naked and he would spoon me all stiff. That was all I wanted.

 

I started heading back home. I passed through the Meat Rack and I sensed some activity behind the bushes. Something drove me into the woods. I couldn't believe my eyes. But then again, I could. It was Ryan and he was up to doing his thing.

 

Three guys were going at it in the far side. Ryan was all by himself on the near side. His tank top was off and flung on the one shoulder. His swimsuit was down to just above his knees, exposing his ass in the back, which is the angle I came in from. He was stroking himself as he was watching those guys. Back at the two pool parties he liked to watch the gays, but never stroked himself or joined in. This time he was pleasuring himself watching.

 

As casually as I could, I walked up next to him. He was and wasn't surprised to see me. He whispered to me to ask me what happened with my trick, and I whispered it didn't go well. We then went back to looking at the main attraction in front of us. He was stroking himself in the open, and my dick was already hard.

 

"Take it out," he whispered. I just looked at him as I massaged my dick through the fabric. He made another gesture with his head with the same intention of me exposing myself.

 

"Take it out, it's cool," he insisted. I was reluctant. We have had so many close moments in the past, but never anything that involved mutual play. I had never jerked off in front him knowingly. But I knew he liked to watch. Maybe this would be the day to let him watch me.

 

Hesitantly, I took out my dick and slid the bikini to expose myself. My dick and his were fully erect and begging for attention. I looked over and precum was oozing out of his dick, all over his hands that were still stroking that awesome dick.

 

I began stroking myself. We traded glances, as we stole glances at each other's cocks. Pretty soon we were both totally oblivious to the other three guys going at it a few feet from us. I looked him in the eyes, then admired his cock, then repeated the cycle.

 

He took one step forward toward me. Our dicks were now 2 inches apart, our bodies nearly touching. With his right hand he reached over and grabbed my right arm. He planted my right hand on his cock! Gasp!!!!! I had imagined this moment so many times and at last it was here. The very first moment that I touched Ryan's cock. At his specific invitation. For his pleasure and mine.

 

I was having an out of body experience. I knew I should be stroking his cock now. That was what one does in situations like this. But my whole body was almost having a stroke. It was just so surreal. Never ever did I think that Ryan would want me to stroke him. It's one thing he let me watch him have sex with those chicks or even when he stroked himself, but it was a different thing to play together like this.

 

Ryan

 

I wanted Chris. And I wanted him bad. I wanted him to touch me. I knew he loved me and adored me just as much as I loved and adored him. But I wanted next level. I wanted him to touch my cock. I took his hand and planted it on my cock. We officially crossed that milestone.

 

I then reached and grabbed his cock. I had never held another cock in my hand besides my own. I never knew what it would feel like. I was never looking for it. But this was not just cock. This was Chris. The object of all my affections. I was holding the cock of the person I loved most in the world. It felt different than mine, but I loved it. Mostly because it put me closer to Chris. I wanted all of him, cock and all.

 

My cock is cut and kinda like a long cylinder. His was uncut, with lots of veins all over the shaft. I could feel his heart beating through his cock, sending more fresh blood as he was overjoyed by the situation. Just then some of his precum hit my hand. That was another first for me, secretions coming out of another man's dick. Today was a whole bunch of firsts for me.

 

I looked at him. He seemed not to know if to lock gaze with my eyes or my cock. I loved that he was getting something he really appreciated. I had figured out that he deserved to have any part of me he wanted. I was all his. Forever. He can have my body, my cock, all of it. I was making a new kind of bond with him, in the Meat Rack on Fire Island.

 

I looked at his adorable face as we kept massaging each other's cocks. I wanted to taste his lips. I wanted to give him our first kiss. With my free hand, I reached over and caressed his jawbone. I held gently on his jaw and chin, and pulled his face to me. I met him with my head halfway. I pulled his head until my lips touched his. Our first tender kiss.

 

Chris

 

Ryan was in the driver seat. I did not know what had gotten into him or how far he wanted to go. I knew that he had made some gestures in the past about jerking off at the same time. But never about jerking each other off.

 

Before I knew it, he pulled me gently to him and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I had waited 6 years for this moment, the moment I could have his body satisfy my deepest desires. But what he started off as a gentle kiss, exploded into an earthquake.

 

As soon as my lips touched his, I knew he was mine. This was not hijinks. This was real. This was finally the physical manifestation of our long-lasting platonic relationship. The second he kissed me, I let go of his dick and literally jumped on him. Like, really! I flew in the air and landed with my arms on his shoulders. My legs were in the air and quickly wrapped around his midsection and his naked ass that was still out in the open. My entire weight was supported by him. With my hands I grabbed the back of his head and pulled his head into my lips as hard as I could. I showered him with never-ending little kisses all over his lips, his cheeks, his ears, his forehead, his nose, or any part of his head my lips could find. I had 6 years' worth of kissing to catch up to.

 

With his solid muscular legs he was able to sustain the weight of both of us. He reciprocated and pulled my head to his in a frenzy of kisses. He was just as ravenous as me. His naked dick did not matter at that very moment. I was so much more overjoyed to have his lips, a channel to his heart, than the sexual piece. I could stay there and kiss him forever.

 

Eventually we came up for air. I landed back on the ground again. In a complete reversal, I actually pulled up his bikini to cover him, and tucked myself back in too. I grabbed his hand and took him out of the Meat Rack. It was time to go home.

 

 

Ryan

 

Those kisses from Chris were pure magic. I knew he loved me, I just never allowed myself to be in the situation for either one of us to express it physically. Given the chance, he was more than eager to show all his love.

 

He led my hand out of the woods. We were going back to his room, walking for the first-time hand in hand. We had gone through so many life experiences together, but walking hand in hand was a first for us. So gentle, so subtle, so full of love. So obvious. Such a simple yet clear way to show how much you love someone.

 

We got back to the share house and I could sense everyone's jaw dropped when we walked in holding hands. We didn't even stay to make small talk. We just walked straight into our room. Chris turned around and closed the door. He took off my tank top and his shirt. He took off his bathing suit first, then slid mine down in one swift motion. Our stiff hard-ons were back.

He flung me on top of the bed, and threw himself on top of me. Our heads lined up and our lips locked again. We picked up our passionate kissing where we had left off in the Meat Rack. Except that this time we were both fully naked and had all the privacy we needed. He kissed my ears as I nibbled on his. He kissed my forehead and I licked his chin. I don't know how much time we spent there just kissing, must have been at least half hour of just kissing and nothing more. Nothing more than each of us whispering "I love you" million times over and over. And I loved every moment of it. I was kissing Chris, the love of my life. It did not matter that I wasn't used to a man's stubble as I kissed someone. It was Chris's stubble, and I loved it.

 

Eventually I used my hands to caress his back. I went further down and caressed his asscheeks. Such solid, firm, manly cheeks. I loved it, because they belonged to Chris. His boner was rubbing on mine the whole time, and our never-ending stream of precum was mixing and falling on me because of gravity, but I loved it because it came from Chris.

 

Chris

 

I was in a mad frenzy to kiss him. I knew better things were around the corner. I knew I was going to make my way to his dick soon, but for now I needed to kiss him. I had to make up for those 6 years that I had kissed him only in my fantasies. I was catching up. And he was madly kissing me back. This new level we were reaching was all because of him, but now I was in the driver seat. I was dictating the tone. I needed every little part of our foreplay to last forever. Maybe even another 6 years. I loved where I was. On top of him, in his arms.

 

My kisses inched south little bit at a time. From his ears to his neck. From there to his shoulder, his pecs, his nipples. Sniff each armpit. Lick the chest bone, lick the 6-pack. Make love with his cum gutters. And yes, it was time for me to take control of his crotch. I slid further down on the bed to be at crotch level with him. I planted myself between his spread legs. I grabbed his dick again, it was just as happy to see me again.

 

I approached the tip. A manly smell of musk and sweat greeted me. I was in heaven. This was exactly what I wanted. I kissed the tip. It was magic. It was Ryan's dick, finally meeting my lips. I had seen that dick for 6 years, sometimes even stiff, and occasionally even shooting cum. But this particular boner was for me. And it was inviting me to take it all in.

 

I looked up and Ryan was hypnotized with me and his crotch. After another few kisses to the tip, I had to taste it. As I looked up into his eyes, I took my tongue out and tasted the tip of his dick. Salt, sweat, and pure Ryan musk. That was all the teasing I could put myself through. I just dove right in and took in as much of the 8 inches I could.

 

6 years I had waited for this. 6 years! 6 years fantasizing about having his cock in my mouth. I had pleasured him in my fantasies endless times. But this was not a fantasy any more. It was the real event. And it was so much more joyful in real life than in fantasies. From this point I knew what to do. I had sucked cock enough to know how to pleasure one. And I used every little trick I knew to make sure I did not disappoint. And from the constant taste of his precum in the back of my mouth, I knew I were not disappointing.

 

After an eternity of sucking his cock, I grabbed his thighs and made them rest on my shoulder. This gave me a better view of his balls. No manscaping. Just natural man bush. But his hair was so soft and blonde that I wanted to bury my face in it. I kept jerking him off with one hand, as my face was concentrating on his balls. More salt, more sweat, more Ryan musk. I knew this was not the time to eat his taint or his ass, even though I was dying to. All this was very new to him, and I did not want to freak him out.

 

It was time for us to consummate our new sexual relationship. I reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube from the night stand. I needed to have him make me his bitch. I needed to get fucked by Ryan. I needed for him to cum deep inside of me and give me his DNA. I didn't want any of it wasted in the air.

 

"Wait, my turn," he said. I didn't immediately understand what he had in mind. He flipped me on my back and in less than one second had my dick in his mouth. No foreplay. No kissing. Just like an amateur he put the whole thing in.

 

Ryan

 

On a day of so many firsts, this was my first dick. Just an hour ago I had touched one for the first time, and now that same dick was in my mouth. I must say I didn't know what to feel, or what to expect. There was absolutely no doubt that I needed this dick in my mouth. It belonged to Chris, that alone was all the excuse I needed to suck his cock. I actually appreciated it more than I thought I might. There was a good shaft of meat to hold on to, to bop your head onto. Then there was the foreskin, something I didn't have. I loved rolling my tongue around it to get to his tip. It tasted like Chris. It smelled like Chris. I was madly in love. I should have done this already so many years ago.

 

Chris just lay there and groaned with pleasure. He was loving this. It gave me immense pleasure to bring pleasure to Chris. And having his manhood in my mouth felt good. I was bonding with him in new ways that I previously did not imagine.

 

I did the trick he did with me with putting the thighs over my shoulder. I went for his balls. His were clean shaven. They were so soft. It was like velvet. And they smelled so musky. I put one ball in my mouth, and then switched them around. It turned me on so much to think that the essence of Chris, his sperm, was in his balls and now the balls were in my mouth. I loved having that connection with him.

 

I dared myself. I flipped his thighs all the way up, exposing his hole. That was clean shaven too. I buried my face in there. The moment my tongue touched his hole I felt his whole body go into a spasm. He was very sensitive. With my second lick, his rosebud relaxed a bit. It let my tongue kiss it again. The skin there was also soft, much softer than other kinds of skin. I tried to dig in deeper and deeper. His hole let me in a little bit at a time. I was loving being so intimate with Chris. My Chris. My man. My love. My soulmate.

 

Just when I was getting my groove licking his hole for the very first time, he reached over with his arms and grabbed his ankles mid-air. His knees almost touched his chest. That really exposed all of him to me. I had seen him naked so many times, but I had never had such a closer up view of that intimate part of his body. And it was all mine.

 

"I want you in me," he said.

 

Chris

 

I loved all the ways he was trying to pleasure me. He was putting his heart and soul into our first sexual encounter. But after 6 years, I wanted his dick inside my ass. I wanted him to pound me. I wanted him to feel the inside of my body with his dick. I wanted my bowels to give him so much pleasure he would shoot his load in me.

 

I grabbed my ankles and gave him the lube. His cock became extra luscious with the wet look of lube all over it. He then pulled himself up next to my ass. He reached down and grabbed his dick and pointed it at me. His dick was going to be mine.

 

The moment his dick touched my hole, even before he went in, I was almost ready to cum. I just could not believe that after 6 years, this was finally going to happen. I could not believe that Ryan and I would become one. I couldn't believe that he was going to make me his. I looked at him. He was just as excited and nervous as I was. This was a huge step for us. The most important step of the most important relationship in my life. This was the moment!

 

It was as though my asshole knew what was going to happen. It didn't put up a fight. It just dilated and let the man of my dreams in. It had waited for this man for so many years, and the moment was upon us. Ryan was fully inside of me. His entire cock. Inside my body. After my sphincter had yielded to him so easily, I then wished it would tighten up and never let go. Never let his dick leave my body. I could stay like this for eternity -- him inside me.

 

But it was time for pounding. I had seen Ryan pound his chicks a couple of times in the past. And he was good. He had a good pelvic thrust, in perfect harmony with my pelvis welcoming him. With his 8-inch cock he was able to get extra-long strokes in and out. He slid in and out of me, making me his with every thrust. He was my man now.

 

We looked at each other straight in the eyes as he kept fucking me. Through his eyes, I saw all of the past 6 years in a flashback. When I first laid my eyes on him 6 years ago, I knew that this will be no ordinary friendship. I had admiration and respect for him. But I also had lust. That lust turned into love over time. From that first morning when I saw his morning wood in his tighty whities, I never imagined 6 years later that same stiff cock would be fucking me on Fire Island. That was a scenario I would have never predicted.

 

 

Ryan

 

We looked at each other straight in the eyes as I kept fucking him. Through his eyes, I saw all of the past 6 years in a flashback. When I first laid my eyes on him 6 years ago, I knew that this will be no ordinary friendship. I had admiration and respect for him. But I also had love for him. That love turned into lust over time. From that first morning when he let me into his world, I never imagined 6 years later my stiff cock would be welcomed in his ass on Fire Island. That was a scenario I would have never predicted.

 

And now the cycle was complete. Me, in him, one thrust after another. Every thrust strengthened the emotional and physical bond we had developed so far. Every thrust made it more of final deal that he would be mine forever. I would give up all my material possessions if I could remain like this, inside of him, forever.

 

He grabbed my head and brought me to his lips. As soon my lips touched his again, I was ready to burst. Without a warning, my pelvis put out the biggest muscle spasm I knew possible. I impaled myself into him and released every last drop of cum I had in me. It was not just my cum, but my love. It was the summary of all my existence, being injected into the man I loved so much. I was leaving a permanent piece of me in him. I looked down and saw that he had cum at the same time, as our lips were locked and my dick was squirting his bowels with my love juice. Yes, 6 years later, the cycle was finally complete. We had made love, it was real, and it was spectacular.

 

I have had plenty of sex before. I was not a novice. But in my 24 years of life, and 7 years being sexually active, I had never made love up until that day. It has always been more of a mechanical thing. This was the first time I felt such love for the person I was sleeping with. As immense as the physical aspect was, it was no match for the emotional orgasm I had by sleeping with Chris. It was the most fulfilling climax of everything I felt for him. To be able to share all of me with him. I loved that man. With every fiber of my being.

 

Chris

 

My ultimate dream of sleeping with Ryan had come through. All through a series of events that I still could not decipher. But it happened. It was magical. In all my fantasies about him, it was always about the physical attractions. But what we just did was making love, not just sex. This was the best day of my life.

 

After we both came, he collapsed right next to me. He forced me into the same spooning position that he had `invented' for the past couple of nights as we slept in the same bed. This time he laid his head on my shoulder instead of the pillow. With his leg facing up, he reached over and pulled me all the way to him. I was his little spoon and loved it. There was nowhere in the world I'd rather be.

 

We stayed like that for a long time. I was emotionally drained and fell asleep. I imagine he did the same. I was woken up a while later with him nibbling on my earlobe. Little puppy kisses and licks. I extended my neck and let him in. He could devour me all he wanted. I was all his.

 

From there he kept kissing me on the shoulder, down the arm. He brought my hand to his mouth and licked every finger one by one. After that he got out from behind me and pinned me flat on the bed. He crawled on top of me. We were both stiff again. He sat on my pelvis and admired me with his eyes. He looked like a kid in candy store, being given permission to eat as much as he could.

 

Ryan

 

I had just fucked Chris moments ago, but I was still ravenous. I wanted more. I wanted to devour him over and over again. I had missed out on this for 6 years, and I was determined to make it all up on that first day.

 

After I pinned him flat on the bed, on sat on top of him. My pelvis crushed his. From my vantage point I could touch and kiss all of him. And that's what I did. Like a lion attacking his prey, my mouth descended on him. I showered him with kisses, bites, and licks on every inch of his body. I wanted his scent on me. I wanted to taste all of him. I could have eaten all of him. I kept kissing him and was still yearning for more of him.

 

His boner kept poking my pelvis as I was sitting on top of him. I wanted him. I never thought it would be something I might yearn for, but at that moment I wanted Chris in me. I had already been inside Chris and I left my cum for him to digest. It was my turn to get his manhood in me. I was on a high.

 

I reached over and grabbed the lube. Chris, the love of my life, started lifting his leg to give me his ass again. I wanted a different second round. This time I wanted him in me. I put his legs back down on the bed. He looked rightfully confused. Just then I squirted a healthy portion of lube and massaged his dick with it. The look on his face was priceless. He looked shocked and overjoyed at the same time. He looked like he was in total disbelief. That innocent face of his looked like he just got the greatest birthday present he didn't even know was possible to get.

 

I squirted a second healthy portion of lube and reached behind for my ass. I didn't know what I was doing, but I put one lubed finger in to spread it around. I had enough common sense to figure that much out. And with that, I was ready for him. I was ready for Chris to invade me. I knelt on top of him and grabbed his cock. I lowered my pelvis toward his dick. Admittedly, he had to help out getting his dick to the right spot. That was my first dick. The first dick to ever enter my ass.

 

There was lots of pressure. Lots of dilating. Lots of pain. But Chris was most accommodating. I persevered. I was not about to give up. I was committed to making it happen. Eventually the tip got in. Only I did not know it was just the tip. As I lowered my pelvis, more of his dick made its way into me. It was still painful, but the pleasure of having him in me overcame all of that. Eventually my asscheeks touched his thighs. I knew he was all the way in. He told me to just sit like that for a moment, not to move.

 

While I was sitting on him like that, waiting for the pain to go away, he gently rubbed my thighs. In a more sensuous way than a sex act. He was giving me reassurance. He was figuratively holding my hands through this first moment for me. I had lost my virginity to my love, to Chris. Another first in the same day. I couldn't be happier.

 

I got enough courage to move a bit. I slowly raised my pelvis by a bit, and then lowered it. I felt all of his dick deep inside me. I repeated this again, and again. With each up and down, I increased the distance a bit. I was getting more relaxed. My ass knew that this was a most special moment. The thrusts got longer, the force got stronger. After a short while I was riding his dick like a pro. The pain was all gone. Instead, there was this immense heat all the way deep in me. The heat spread all over me. I was consumed by all that friction inside my bowel. It was a brand-new feeling for me, and both my body and mind loved it. I couldn't believe I had been missing on this feeling all these years.

 

All the while, my adoring Chris let me be in the driving seat. He knew this was all new to me, so he let me take my time, go at my own pace. I couldn't believe how fast I was riding him like someone who had done it so many times. The heat, the thrusts, the love in between us was too much. Without even touching myself I climaxed. Whatever cum might have been left in me from the first round just squirted out of me all over his chest. I had never cum without touching myself or actively fucking someone. That was another first for me.

 

I saw Chris grunting an orgasm too. My ass was still on fire and I couldn't feel all his pelvic thrusts in me, but I knew I had his cum in me. I was the happiest man on earth. To be able to share such a moment with the person I love the most.

 

I collapsed on top of him, this time face to face and chest to chest. I was exhausted. That was an emotionally draining day, yet physically very satisfying. We took another cat nap. We woke up around 7 PM. All the housemates had already left for the weekend. We had the whole house to ourselves.

 

We cooked dinner naked and ate it naked, with my hand always touching him on one spot or another of his body. We then went skinny dipping in the pool. We made mad passionate love again by the pool. We had another round of lovemaking when we went to bed.

 

Chris

 

That was the most critical day of my life. The day Ryan turned from a friend to a lover. From a cocktease to a cock worshipper. From an eternal platonic relationship to full on reciprocal anal sex. We had always been soulmates, but on that day we made it official.

 

As we had the house to ourselves the next day, we frolicked naked all we wanted. Invariably a swim by the pool turned into another full-on penetration, his ass or mine. We picked up sandwiches from The Pantry and headed to the beach. With most people gone, we sunbathed in the nude and went skinny dipping in the nude. I even put a beach towel on me and sucked him dry right there. We went for several walks on the beach, hand in hand, heart to heart. We made and ate dinner naked again, and made love on the deck.

 

Tuesday was more never-ending hugs, kisses, beach walks, and even more sex. We were making up for 6 lost years. I know my ass was getting sore from all that sex, let alone his ass that had not seen dick until 2 days ago. But he was adamant. He wanted me inside of him and the other way around. He enjoyed riding me cowboy; I counted my lucky stars over and over again.

 

Wednesday was going to be our last full day on Fire Island. I didn't want that week to end. I wished we could live in this house forever, just me and him. And for summer to last forever. And for us to never have to go anywhere except to the beach and back. But I also looked forward to a new reality of us being lovers, not just roommates. That, too, was exciting.

 

On our afternoon beach walk, I could see that Ryan was a bit overwhelmed. He is so innocent kind-hearted that he cannot ever hide an emotion. I was hoping he was not regretting it all. My heart was pounding as well. I didn't want to ruin my friendship with him. All the sex in the world was not worth my soulmate friendship with him. But there was no going back.

 

As I gazed into the distance, he was fiddling with something in his pants pocket. Before I could understand what happened, he was on one knee on the sand and was holding a small box.

 

"Christophoros Stephanos Dukakis, from the moment you walked into my life, I knew right away that you would stay in my life for as long as we shall both live. While I thought you would be my wingman, you became my real man. Over time I fell in love with you, and I mistook it with friendship. Only recently I realized it was true love, and yes, even lust. In the past I thought I was just your average straight guy. But I have made more of an effort to reconcile my love for you. I have lived in your world now for the past few days, and I'm ready to make it permanent. All because I adore you and I love you to no end. You have stood by me in all my trials and tribulations. You have seen me at my worst and elevated me. You have bailed me out when I had nobody else to go to. And through all this you did your best to keep it all clean even though I was the one who crossed the line a few times. I love you more than you know is possible. My life would be nothing without you there each and every day. Christophoros Stephanos Dukakis, we got to this point a bit in an unconventional way, but would you do me the biggest honor and marry me? I promise to make you happy in every way I know how."

 

He opened the box, and in it there were matching simple platinum gold rings. I was dumbfounded. He had planned this all along. It was not a weekend fling on Fire Island, where temptations sometimes affect your sound judgement. He had come here with the intent to make me his man. All that sex was just a preamble. The proposal was the main reason he came with me to Fire Island.

 

Right there, as the sun was setting, I said yes. Of course I said yes. There was nobody else I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I will always cherish that one spot on the beach on Fire Island where I got proposed to.

 

He put my ring on my finger, and I put his ring on his. We stood there and just kissed for the next half hour. We made our way home and made love all through dinner time. Finally, we came up for air and I needed to call my parents.

 

Ryan

 

Chris called his parents around 10 PM, once we finally took a break from our post engagement sex. He delivered them the news. I heard his mom shriek from the other side. The sound was so loud it filled the whole house through the phone. She was so ecstatic. She insisted we come over for dinner the following night to celebrate. I kept stealing kisses from Chris's neck as he was going over the details of the proposal with his mom. We were still naked, and I kept playing with his dick as he slapped my hands off.

 

After that I knew I had to call my dad as well. I had not seen him for over a year, and I really had not much in common with him anymore. I knew the conversation would have a whole different tone than the conversation with Chris's parents. I made sure I talked to him from a separate room as Chris was making us some late-night dinner. In fact my dad was not enthusiastic at all. Something about "that's what you get from hanging out with the Greeks." I never told Chris about that awful sentiment.

 

The next day we went back to the city. The whole ride back home we were either embracing or holding hands. As soon as we got home, we had mad sex again. I made sure we break in both our beds with our new level of sexual love.

 

That evening we went to his parents. The doormen had seen me live there for the past 5 years, but had never seen me walk in holding Chris's hands. Once we reached the front door, Chris rang the doorbell rather than let himself into the home he was born and raised in.

 

Both his parents rushed to the door; you could hear their panicked footsteps. We waited patiently outside holding hands. As soon as they opened the doors, his mom knocked Chris out of the way and jumped on me. In a way she jumped on me just the same way Chris had jumped on me in the Meat Rack after I gently kissed him. This time it was her who showered me with a million kisses. I didn't know it at that moment, but her red lipstick left kiss marks all over my face like one of those postcards with a little baby with tens of kiss marks. She totally ignored Chris and held my hand and escorted me in.

 

She was talking a mile a minute. She was talking so fast I only heard half of it. Somewhere in there, she managed to blurt: "A mother always knows". She had me figured out even before I had figured myself out. "Having you as our son-in-law is the greatest gift our Chris could have given us," she added. She then dragged me to the powder room. I thought it was odd walking with her into a bathroom. Only then I looked at the mirror and saw dozens of kiss marks on me and burst laughing. Without asking permission, she grabbed a hand towel, got it wet, and proceeded to wipe off all that lipstick from my face as though I was her little infant and all was familiar. I loved that unceremonious side of her personality.

 

When we got back to the living room, I saw Chris was sitting next to his dad on the sofa. Chris was smiling, his dad was grinning with pride. His dad was holding Chris's one hand in both his hands. It definitely looked like he was giving Chris some fatherly wisdom. The love in that room was overflowing.

 

For dinner she had made every single dish she had made in her life before. There was enough food for like 100 people. Of course she had made her signature baklava dessert just for me. She made sure I had a double helping.

 

I was the luckiest man the world.

 

I had another week off from law school. Chris told his boss he needed to take the week off as well. Chris told him what had happened and his boss totally understood. Later we received a huge bouquet of flowers from everyone at his job.

 

Chris and I had a mini staycation in New York for the next few days. Sex, breakfast, sex, museum, brunch, sex, nap, sex, dinner, more sex. We had to make up for 6 lost years.

 

One afternoon he sat me down to go over some plans. The first thing was that he told me that since we were now one unit, everything and anything is ours together. He opened up his laptop and showed me how much money was in his trust fund. He was not kidding when he said he personally had enough money to send a thousand kids to college. I had never seen a bank statement with so many zeros at the end.

 

He politely said that this was our bachelor apartment, and it was time for us to find a marital apartment together. We moved into a proper two-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side, blocks away from his parents, by the following month.

 

Two years later, we had a destination wedding, you guessed it, in Greece. It was much less of a scene out of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, more of a scene from a beach wedding in Mama Mia. We rented an abandoned monastery that had turned into a high-end venue. The dinner and dancing were on the beach itself. Those people could party, nobody went home until the sun came out the following morning.

 

I am the happiest man in the world to be married to my soulmate, my best friend, Chris. May you all find as much happiness in your lives.

 

 

 

T H E E N D

 

 

 

 

Hope you enjoyed this story. As always, your feedback is very much appreciated. Feel free to send me an email at DrThroat@aol.com

 

 

Also, check out some of my other stories:

 

The Shuttle Bus Ride

 

Ginger Mania

 

Will You Help Me Fulfill My Fantasy?

 

The Sperm Sample

 

The Intern