Date: Sat, 18 Apr 2020 16:53:17 +0100 From: Sam Bam Subject: Ocean Blue 67 We are all spending a lot more time indoors, drop some cash to nifty so we can keep being entertained. https://donate.nifty.org/donate.html Keep in touch by email/twitter/wordpress about the stories or if you're just feeling a bit lonely. "Hi Andy, it's Blue." Blue says. "Hey, thanks for calling, I wanted to apologise for the other day. I didn't have your number." Andy says. "Have you heard the news?" Blue asks. "What news?" Andy asks. "There has been an accident." Blue says. "Is Spence okay? Are you?" Andy asks worried. "Spence is fine." Blue says and explains what has happened. "Oh shit. Shit." Andy says quietly. "I thought you should know. Nick was your friend and I didn't think anyone would have let you know. Andy, I am sorry about how things have been between us. You were right we were family and I tossed that aside. I've been doing a lot of thinking since I moved to my new place. I've really struggled with all the expectations of me. Everyone had some preconceived idea about what would happen when I came back and I've been a disappointment. I'm not used to it, being back has been harder than I expected." Blue says. "You don't need to apologise. You're right we expected parties and celebrations and you just so delighted to see us. It was a huge shock to see you in Hawaii, the state you were in. I didn't think about how being away affected you, just me." Andy says. "Ugh and here I am making it all about me when three people have died." Blue says. "Will you come to the funeral?" Andy asks. "No, Gervais and I just broke up, I don't want to cause drama." Blue says. "I'm sorry to hear that, I hoped you two would make it this time." Andy says. "Me too. I rushed it. I wasn't ready to be with anyone. Will got me a dog, this is Sunny." Blue says as he pads into views. "Wow he's gorgeous. You look a lot better." Andy says. "How are you doing?" Blue asks. "I'm a mess. Nick was a really stupid mistake, so humiliating to be caught like that. I wish I could take it back. We were over before that, I knew we were over the minute I confessed to being with Tad. I really thought I'd changed." Andy says sadly. "You always turned to sex to try and solve your problems. Spence is happy, Wyatt is great for him. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. Just to give you hope." Blue says. "Could I come and visit? I could really do with getting away, I was going to stay with Roe but with Spence being up there I can't." Andy asks. "I would really like that, it would need to be soon as we're off to the lake when Ocean's summer starts. I guess Nick and Ella going so young makes me reassess cutting you off. I'd have hated our last fight to be our last contact." Blue says. "It's a sobering thought. Email me the details of where you are? I'll bring a couple of boxes of veggies and herbs." Andy says. "That I would love. We have been grilling outdoors a lot and I love it. Some of your veggies would be a real treat. How is Katelyn doing?" Blue asks. "Amazing, she is exactly who we all thought she could be. Your mom helped a lot, and Bea recently, shaping her and pushing her." Andy says. "I guess not managing her money has been a change for you." Blue says. "It was always a weird situation. Easy when it came to day to day things but hard to say no to other things." Andy says. "Like a suitable car at home. Does she ever hear from your mom? I thought maybe she'd come back when Katelyn got financial control." Blue asks. "No, or not that I know of and I think Roe would have told me." Andy says. "Will's back, I best go. Take care of yourself." Blue says. "You too. Are you and Will?" Andy asks. "Just friends. Neither of us is in the right place for more. See you soon." Blue says and hangs up. "They got away okay. I can't believe they're just gone. Will you be going to the funeral?" Will asks. "No, I just had a chat with Andy, I wanted to make sure he knew. He's going to come and visit. I'd feel such a hypocrite going. I kind of feel like Liberty and Nick took advantage of me and Gervais over the business." Blue says thinking back to that time and how rushed everything was. "I'll stay with you. I wasn't close to Arnold or Mike. What a mess. You and Andy made up?" Will asks. "Yeah, he's been a dick to me but after what has just happened I found he was who I wanted to talk to. I guess we've been through so many big things together." Blue says. "I'm going to call Robin just to check in and let him know when Mike and the guys will be due in." Will says. "Cool. I'll make some food. Mushroom risotto? Something comforting." Blue asks. "Sounds perfect. I'll give a hand in a minute." Will says and hugs Blue tightly. A couple of days later Andy arrives. "Wow this is a lot of veg. We'll be farting like crazy." Blue says helping Andy unpack. "I can't believe you drove." Will says. "A road trip was exactly what I needed. Proper time with my thoughts. I saw Spence and Wyatt again yesterday, they'd arrived for the funerals. It was easier this time. Knowing Spence is happy helps a lot." Andy says. "How is everyone doing?" Blue asks. "Everyone is in a state of shock still. Randolph was there dealing with the practicalities. Its complex with Ella technically being married and Arnold and Liberty divorced. And who knows how they'll deal with the baby." Andy says shaking his head. "Awful." Blue says. "I'm really glad you called. I feel a coward not being there but relieved too. It is better that Spence and Gervais are there than me and you." Andy says. "I hope Gervais is okay and it isn't bringing back too many memories for his dad and of Jesse. I spoke to Elliot yesterday. I actually felt bad I'd not really been in touch since I got back. This whole thing brought everything back." Blue says. "Yeah, I called Magnus and DeShawn. I know they are on Spence's side but I felt like I needed to speak to people from then." Andy says. "I spoke to DeShawn this week too. Hoping he'll do some guest appearances and talks when we're up and running." Will says. "I bet he jumped at it. He is deffo tiring of being a corporate husband." Andy grins. "Yup, he loves being retired from the game and loves supporting Magnus but really wants something more to do. But doesn't want to be away from Magnus too much." Will grins. "How is Grant? Birch was pretty bitchy about him." Blue asks. "Still trying to make his mark. Frustrated artistically and in his love life." Andy says. "I always thought he and Robin might find each other again." Blue says. "Me too. I worry that Birch and Robin just feed each other's egos and in a year they'll be impossible. Not that either of them wants to stay friends." Andy sighs. "Your group has forgiven bigger transgressions." Will says. "Mostly from Andy to be fair." Blue laughs. "Shut up." Andy laughs. "Thanks for all this food. I might have to make some soup to freeze as we'll not be here much longer." Blue says. "I miss your soup. I miss cheesecake and cookies and everything to be fair. I dream of your food. I dream of both types of cake." Andy grins. "Why were you such a dick to Blue in Hawaii?" Will asks. "Will!" Blue exclaims. "I was feeling guilt over cheating and I don't know. I wasn't prepared for how Blue looked, what a mess he was. I was mad that Blue hadn't called me or invited us there. A whole heap of things. I was fed up with the business, fighting with Tad over direction, unhappy with the orders from the food company, unhappy with Spence and I expected Blue to fix everything and he could barely tie his shoes. I was mad. I also knew how out of their minds his mom and Roe and well, all of us had been, and it felt wrong to keep it secret. I was wrong, of course, given what happened with Ocean." Andy says. "I'm not mad, I didn't behave that well either. Asking Blue to say the word and I'd end my marriage. Like you said he couldn't even pick a breakfast cereal. I expected him to be happy to see me, to still love me and he disappears off with Gervais." Will says. "You were married with kids. I pushed my feelings for you away to survive. I didn't let myself thing of any of you. I was a mess, am a mess. I wish I'd stuck to my guns and let myself heal first, but G was there and he loved me and my body has always responded to his. He gave up everything for me and I owed him. Or I felt I did. He was amazing getting me through those first few months but as I got better and I started to process everything and you were helping me and he was getting things wrong. I don't know I got all confused, dumped him and have been dealing with that as well as healing from the program." Blue says. "You need therapy babe." Andy says. "I know I should. But I just don't want to. It isn't like anyone can really deal with someone in my position, separated at birth, reunited, bio dad in the mob, death threats and years in exile. I know what I need to fix. I know I need to talk more and not run away. I know I need to speak up and not blow up. It just takes time. I'm not used to talking at all." Blue says. "You are getting better. This is a bit of a bubble but you are getting there. You called Elliot, you called Andy. No one asked you to. You're remembering how to function as a friend and its lovely to see." Will says. "And you two are really not back together?" Andy asks. "I have issues. I think I would be a total nightmare as a boyfriend right now. After Blue leaving and Aled being a fake I can't trust anyone. I am working on it. But I'm not ready and Blue isn't either. He is such an all or nothing guy. You know his romantic history better than me, he's not one to take things slowly." Will says. "No, I get it. So can we have a night out in the city, crash at this hotel of yours?" Andy asks. "I really want to." Blue grins. "Me too." Will smiles. "You think Spence will be okay with it?" Andy asks. "I'll call him. But it is half mine and I wouldn't complain if he had George and Gervais there." Blue says. "They're not together. Tad and George are at it like bunnies according to gossip." Andy says. "Poor Tad." Blue says and goes inside to call Spence. "He's doing better. You're taking good care of him. The others think you're together. I overheard them at the deli, Chris was setting Robin straight but they didn't believe him." Andy says. "I don't give a shit. Gervais was putting so much pressure on Blue and Blue wasn't being a great boyfriend and was messing up too. Blue asked for a break and Gervais told him no, they could break up forever or stay together, it was exactly what Blue didn't need. I don't give a shit what Gervais thinks of me. I'm doing my best for Blue." Will says. "Worked to your advantage." Andy says. "I don't know if I could ever get back with Blue, not really. I have so much resentment from when he left, from him telling Gervais. I love him but he's so broken and so am I. I think we'd just combust." Will says sadly. "Is he not worth trying for?" Andy asks shocked. "You tried to be someone else for years with Spence and you ended up exactly where you were." Will shrugs. "Yeah but I still believe someone is out there for me. I still believe in romance, and passion and ever after." Andy says.