Date: Tue, 31 Oct 2006 01:34:49 -0800 (PST) From: Kirk Landers Subject: Phases - part 4 Copyright and Disclaimer: 1. This is a fictional story with fictional characters. 2. No one is to steal this story under any circumstances. 3. This story deals with relationships and not sex, so if you're looking for a story with a lot of sex in it, this isn't the story for you. Hope everyone is enjoying the direction this story is taking. Here is part 4 entitled ,"Feelings Unfold" "FEELINGS UNFOLD" It's been a week since Kurt and Scott broke up, a week since Nick went on another bad date, and a week since Leo and Jesse kissed. Leo's kept his kiss with Jesse a secret from the guys because he knew the other guys wouldn't be happy with that surprise. Today the guys were hanging out at Kurt's apartment having lunch together. All of them decided to take the day off of work and enjoy a day of doing what they wanted to do and not worry about work. "So nice to take a day off," Nick said taking a bite of his salad. "I love doing my column, but sometimes it just gets exhausting." "I know what you mean," Kurt replied. "I've been working on that short story non-stop it seems." "How's it going?" Leo asked. "It's going," Kurt replied. "I know what I want to write and what I want to say, but because I know Ryan reads my articles in the magazine so I have to disguise it so he doesn't know it's about him." "Still haven't told him you like him yet huh?" Nick asked. "I thought that was the whole reason you broke up with Scott." "It's complicated," Kurt said. "He's with someone. And I can't make things awkward between him and me. After all, we do live together." "True," Leo agreed. "Just let time unfold and see how things go." "Exactly," Kurt said. "Hey Nick," Leo said changing the subject, "Jeremy seems to be under the impression that you and him had a good first date. He wanted to know why you haven't called him." "Because he's a pervert," Nick replied. "What?" Leo asked. "No he's not." "He kept making sexual innuendos the entire night," Nick said. "He obviously was only interested in just getting sex out of me that night and I'm not going to put up with that again." "I don't know what I'm going to tell him," Leo said. "Tell him to not be such a pervert," Nick suggested. "Did I tell you that I never want you to set me up on a blind date again?" "Believe me, I give up trying," Leo said. "You're on your own finding a guy." "Thank you," Nick said. "So when are you going to back to the Gay and Lesbian Center Leo?" Kurt asked. "I was thinking of going in today," Leo replied. "I was there a couple days ago and Ryan was really cramming this week to get this big event set up for the center." "What is the event?" Nick asked. "Its a food drive and we're also going to have some up and coming gay and lesbian singers and bands performing," Leo said. "It's a pretty big event." "Sounds cool," Kurt said. "You know," Leo suggested, "You should come and help me." "Yeah," Nick agreed. "You can go and spend some time with Ryan." "You think?" Kurt asked. "Yeah," Leo said. "It'll be fun." "I guess I could," Kurt said trying to hide his excitement. Leo's phone then began ringing. He looked at the caller ID and saw Jesse's name on it. He quickly silenced his phone and went back to eating, hoping the guys wouldn't ask about it, but then... "Who was that?" Kurt asked. "Who was who?" Leo played dumb. "Who was that calling?" Kurt asked again. "Calling me?" Leo asked innocently. "Why are you playing dumb?" Nick asked. "I'm not playing dumb," Leo replied. "Have you thought that maybe I just am dumb?" "Starting to think so now," Kurt jabbed. "Oh my God," Nick sighed realizing, "That was Jesse huh?" "Jesse who?" Leo tried one last time. "Leo," Nick said sternly. "Okay, so what if it was Jesse?" Leo asked. "If it was no big deal then why were you trying to hide it?" Kurt asked. "Okay," Leo confessed. "If I tell you something, you guys promise not to get upset?" "Why don't you tell us what it is and we'll go from there," Nick said. "Last week Jesse came over," Leo said. "And we kind of kissed." "You kind of kissed?" Kurt asked. "Okay, we made out," Leo said. Nick rolled his eyes, "Leo, what are you doing?" "What?" Leo asked. "I told you him and I were trying to be friends right?" "We're friends," Kurt said. "You never tried kissing me." "Do you want me to try and kiss you?" Leo asked jokingly hoping to change the subject. "Don't try and change the subject," Nick said. "Nick, I really don't need a lecture right now," Leo said. "Leo, when you wanted to take a lot of time to grieve over the break-up, I understand that," Nick said. "But what you and Jesse are doing is not helpful for you." "Are you two trying to work things out?" Kurt asked. "I really don't know," Leo replied. "Leo unless you two plan on working things out again then just don't see him," Nick said. "It's not helping you." "Nick, it's tough for him," Kurt said sympathizing with Leo. "I know and I'm only being hard on him because I don't want him to get hurt," Nick said. "I understand and I appreciate it," Leo said giving Nick a kiss on the forehead, "But let me do what I want." "That won't happen," Kurt joked. "What?" Nick asked. "Oh come on Nick," Kurt replied. "You know you're always trying to tell us what to do." "Are you saying I'm bossy?" Nick asked. "Extremely," Leo added with a laugh. "It's the 'big brother' type of personality you have with us," Kurt said. "And don't get us wrong," Leo said. "We appreciate it, but you have to let us make our own decisions." "And our own mistakes," Kurt said. "Leo, what you're doing with Jesse, if it makes you happy then great, but it sounds kind of risky to me." "I know," Leo sighed. Later that day Nick went to take some time to read and relax while Kurt and Leo went to the Gay and Lesbian Center. "Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Kurt asked as the two got out of the car. "It's fine," Leo said. "I'm sure Ryan will be glad to have another helping hand." "You know," Kurt said. "This might all be kind of pointless. He's with Craig. I'm not going to try and break them up." "Yeah, but at least if you spend some time with him you'll see if there's any chemistry between you two," Leo said. "You can't be afraid to take some risks." "I just don't want to complicate things," Kurt said. "Kurt?" Ryan asked walking outside of the center. "Go," Leo said pushing Kurt ahead of him. "Hey Ryan," Kurt said walking up to him. "I'm going to go inside," Leo said. "Hey Leo, Lisa is in there, can you and her finish things up for the event?" Ryan asked. "Yeah, are you leaving?" Leo asked. "Yeah, I've been here since seven this morning, I'm just going to take the rest of the day to relax a bit," Ryan said. "Hey Kurt, if you're not busy want to hang out today?" "Of course he's not busy," Leo said. "I think I can speak for myself, thank you Leo," Kurt said in gritted teeth. "You interested?" Ryan asked. "Yeah, sounds great," Kurt replied. "What did you have in mind?" "It might sound kind of boring to you, but I was thinking of taking a walk on the beach," Ryan said. "If it sounds dull to you, you don't have to come." "Oh no," Kurt replied. "It's such a nice day today, a walk on the beach sounds perfect." "Great," Ryan smiled. "Come on, I'll drive." "Awesome," Kurt replied as they walked to the car. "I'm glad we're doing this," Ryan said getting into the car. "Why's that?" Kurt asked getting into the passenger's seat. "We've been living together for a few weeks now and still haven't really hung out yet," Ryan replied. "That's true," Kurt said. "Well I'm glad we're putting an end to that." "Me too," Ryan replied. "Mind if I ask a personal question?" Kurt asked. "What?" Ryan asked. "Are you and Craig having problems?" Kurt asked. "Why do you ask?" Ryan asked beating around the bush. "Well, you've been home the past few nights, he hasn't come over at all, and today you want to take a walk on the beach. Something that people usually do when they want to go somewhere to think," Kurt said. "You're good," Ryan said. "What's up?" Kurt asked. "It's just the same stuff him and I always fight about," Ryan replied. "In the end I just think he doesn't trust me." "Well, maybe you should try and do something to prove that he can trust you," Kurt suggested. "The thing is," Ryan began, "I've never done anything for him to not trust me. I've been the best boyfriend I could be to him, but it's never enough." "I'm sure he means well," Kurt tried. "Did I tell you that I pretty much lost touch with all of my friends because of him?" Ryan asked. "Why did you do that?" Kurt asked. "Because he would always get jealous when I would go out with them and not him," Ryan replied. "He pretty much doesn't want me to have anyone else but him." "I'm sure it's just his way of telling you how much he loves you," Kurt said, even though he really wanted to tell Ryan that Craig sounded like a freak. "Do you want to know why he's mad at me this week?" Ryan asked. "Why?" Kurt asked. "Because of Leo," Ryan replied. "I told him that he was helping me out as a new volunteer and he got all paranoid that I would try something with him." "Leo?" Kurt asked. "Yeah," Ryan replied. "I really don't know how much more of this I can put up with." "Do you want my advice?" Kurt asked. "Please," Ryan answered. Kurt was ready to tell Ryan to dump Craig, but he knew that it would only be for his selfish reasons he was saying it. Instead he decided to take a more selfless approach. "Talk to him," Kurt said. "Explain to him that he has to trust you and trust you wouldn't do anything like that to him. Let him know that his paranoia is just making things worse for you two and not helping the situation at all. Just let him know that he's the one you love." "I don't know," Ryan sighed, "I think I'm about ready to just move on." Kurt looked out the window, he felt bad for Ryan, he felt even worse that he was a little happy to hear that Ryan might be single soon. During this moment, Kurt felt like he was the worst person in the world, he dumped a perfectly nice guy like Scott and was now hoping Ryan would dump Craig. Kurt sat there in the car realizing that he didn't deserve Ryan, he deserved to be alone for thinking those thoughts. Meanwhile, Nick was taking a walk in the park by his apartment when he saw his ex, Luke, again. Only this time he didn't get away in time, Luke saw him. "Hey Nick," Luke said walking up to him. "Hi," Nick replied cooly. "It's good to see you," Luke said. "Wish I could say the same," Nick retorted. "Nick, I didn't come up to you to fight," Luke said. "Well then you shouldn't have come up at all," Nick replied. "Nick, I told you before that I'm sorry," Luke said. "It just got too hard, when I got transferred to Chicago it just got harder and harder to see you and it just made more sense to be with someone who lived there." "Yeah, and then a month later you and him moved back here together," Nick said. "You only took that job in Chicago because things were starting to get serious with us and you couldn't handle it." "That's not true," Luke said. "Yes it is," Nick replied. "We were together for over a year and then when the idea of moving in together came up you ran away." "I'm not afraid of commitment," Luke said. "Yes you are," Nick replied. "Then explain why I'm still with Wayne," Luke shot back. Nick was taken aback by that, he knew that Luke had a point, and that only made the truth harder to swallow. "I guess you're right. You weren't afraid of commitment. You were just afraid of commitment with me," Nick said hurt. "Nick," Luke sighed not wanting to make Nick feel bad. "I have to go," Nick said turning around and walking away. "Wait, Nick," Luck shouted. "Come back." But Nick just ignored him and kept on walking. Later that day Kurt and Ryan arrived at the beach and were walking along the shore together. "So why did you and Scott break up?" Ryan asked. "It just wasn't right," Kurt replied. "He was a great guy and was very good to me, but I just didn't feel that romantic feeling towards him." "Yeah, if you don't feel those feelings towards someone then it's pretty pointless," Ryan said. "Exactly," Kurt replied. "And it would only hurt Scott more if I stayed with him longer not returning those feelings." "It was for the best then," Ryan said. "Yeah, it was," Kurt replied. "So what are you going to do now as a single man on the town?" Ryan joked. "Got some hot dates lined up?" "Oh you know," Kurt replied. "One for each night." "Just make sure you can squeeze in some time for me," Ryan said. "I might need a listening ear during this time with Craig." "Always," Kurt replied in a heartfelt way. "Thanks," Ryan said putting his arm around Kurt. "You know what you need to cheer up?" Kurt asked. "What's that?" Ryan asked. "A dip in the ocean," Kurt said pushing Ryan into the waves. Ryan ran up to a laughing Kurt drenched in water. "Think that was funny?" Ryan asked with a devious smile. "Very," Kurt replied. "Won't be laughing if you go in with me," Ryan said grabbing Kurt and pulling him into the ocean. "No!" Kurt shouted, but still laughing. David lifted Kurt up and jumped into the waves drenching Kurt in water. The two stayed in the ocean, laughing and enjoying ones company. Back at the center, Leo just got done with the stuff him and Ryan were working on for the food drive when Jesse showed up. "Hey," Leo said as Jesse walked in the door. "How'd you know I was here?" "I was driving by and you said you volunteer here now so I thought I'd try my luck and catch you," Jesse said. "Why are you avoiding my phone calls?" "I'm not avoiding your calls," Leo lied. "I've been trying to call you all week," Jesse pointed out. "I'm sorry," Leo sighed, "I just didn't know how to deal with what happened." "Can we talk?" Jesse asked. "Yeah," Leo replied. "I'm just finishing up here. I'll meet you outside." Leo went and got his things together and went outside to meet up with Jesse. When he got outside the sun was setting, Ryan was sitting on a bench nearby waiting for him. "Hey, thanks for waiting," Leo said approaching him. "Not a problem," Jesse replied. "I'm just glad I finally got a hold of you." "What is it you want?" Leo asked. "I want to make sure we both know where we stand," Jesse replied. "Okay," Leo said. "So what do you think of our kiss?" "I think it was a mistake," Jesse replied. "Yeah?" Leo asked, saddened by Jesse's response, it wasn't the answer he was hoping to get from him. "Yeah, we shouldn't go down that road again right?" Jesse asked. "Right," Leo lied. "I mean, we just broke up so it's too soon for that," Jesse said. "I guess so," Leo sighed. "Well, I guess I should go." "That's it?" Jesse asked. "What else is there left to say?" Leo asked. "You came and said what you needed to say." "Are you not happy about it?" Jesse asked. "Do you expect me to be jumping up and down with joy?" Leo asked getting pissed. "Talk to me," Jesse said wanting to know Leo's feelings. "Do you want to know why I've been avoiding you all week?" Leo asked. "Yes," Jesse answered. "It was because of this," Leo replied. "Because I didn't want to hear you say what you just said to me. I was hoping for..., well, it doesn't really matter anymore." "Leo," Jesse sighed feeling horrible for hurting his feelings again. "I'm going to go," Leo said. "Thanks for clearing up the situation for me." Leo then went and headed to his car and drove home. Nick walked around town, needed to calm down from his run in with Luke. He eventually found himself at a local gay bar he normally went to with Kurt and Leo. He wasn't normally one to drink alone, but considering his day today, he felt he needed it. Nick went inside and up to the bar where, Max, the normal bar tender was working. "Hey Max," Nick said sitting down at the bar. "Hey Nick, where the other guys?" Max asked. "They're out doing their own things today," Nick replied. "Can I get a beer?" "No problem," Max said as he went to get Nick his drink. As Nick was waiting for his drink he saw Randal. He hadn't seen the two of them since the guys went the opening night of Randal's club. Randal saw Nick and came up to him. "Hey Nick," Randal said giving Nick a hug. "Hey, how you doing?" Nick asked. "Good," Randal replied. "It's good seeing you again." "You too," Nick replied. "Where's your boyfriend?" "Him and I had a little argument," Randal replied. "Needed to come and get a drink. Why are you drinking alone?" "Ran into my ex," Nick replied as Max handed him his beer. "Yeah, that definitely warrants a drink," Randal said. "So how are things with you and your boyfriend besides the fight you two had?" Nick asked. "Good," Randal replied. "We got back together that night of the club opening. We had broken up for a little bit. I realized how much I loved him and wanted him back in my life. He's the one person whole completes me." "See," Nick sighed taking a sip of his beer. "Why can't I find that?" "Well, if you're still hooking up with guys like we did that one night then of course you're not going to find the one," Randal said. "I don't hook up with guys," Nick said. "What we did was a one time thing for me. I just find it so hard to open up to guys now." "How so?" Randal asked. "I have my guard up so much that I'm always worried I'll get hurt again," Nick said. "It's tough being single. Especially when it seems like your friends find love so easily." "There's nothing wrong with being alone though," Randal said. "I should believe that," Nick agreed. "I know that it's not very empowering for me to think that I need someone to be happy, but I can't help it. I like being with someone, having someone be happy to me with me." "It is nice," Randal sighed. "Yeah, you should appreciate what you have with your boyfriend," Nick said. "Whatever argument you two are having now, just realize that in the long run, it isn't worth getting upset over." "You're right," Randal said getting up. "I should go talk to him." "Good luck," Nick said as Randal walked away. Randal headed for the door, but looked back and saw Nick sitting by himself. "Hey Nick," Randal said walking up to him. "Can I give you some advice?" "Yeah," Nick replied. "I know it's tough being alone," Randal said. "It's hard, especially with the holidays around the corner." "Yeah," Nick sighed. "It's tough now, but when you do meet the one, and you will," Randal said. "You will be so happy and the string of bad dates will all make the right guy be that much more special and dear to you." "Thanks," Nick said sincerely. "Don't go looking for the right guy," Randal concluded, "He'll come to you when the time is right." Randal gave Nick a hug. "Thanks Randal," Nick said. "Take care Nick," Randal said. "You too," Nick replied as Randal headed out. Nick sat at the bar thinking about what Randal said to him, maybe he was trying too hard to find the one, maybe he should wait and let the one find him. Kurt and Ryan headed back to Ryan's car soaked from the ocean. The two were still laughing and joking around together. "You're so lucky that I have towels in my car," Ryan said opening the trunk of his car and handing Kurt a towel. "Thanks," Kurt said as he took off his wet t-shirt to dry his upper body off. Ryan took a moment to admire Kurt's physique. Before Kurt noticed he was looking at him Ryan quickly averted his eyes and started to dry himself off as well. "Sunset is so beautiful," Ryan said looking out at the sun setting on the ocean. "Yeah," Kurt agreed. "It's so calming." The two then turned and looked over at one another. They didn't say a word, they both turned their bodies to face one another and walked a step towards each other so they were just inches apart. They both then began to lean in to one another, Ryan closed his eyes as he moved closer. Kurt was just about to do the same when the thought of Craig entered his mind. He couldn't get past the guilt. "So are you going to talk to Craig?" Kurt asked breaking the moment between them. Ryan quickly opened his eyes and the two stepped back from one another. "Yeah," Ryan sighed. "I guess I should." "Yeah," Kurt said wishing so desperately that he kissed him, if only the circumstances were better for them. "We should head home and get into some dry clothes," Ryan said. "Sounds good," Kurt said as they got in the car and drove back to the apartment in silence. When Leo got home he went to lie down in bed, still reeling from his talk with Jesse. He decided he couldn't take it, he needed to get away. He picked up his phone and called Nick. "Hello?" Nick asked. "Hey where are you?" Leo asked. "I'm just leaving the bar right now and heading home," Nick replied. "You want to take a trip?" Leo asked. "A trip?" Nick asked. "Yeah, you, Kurt and me," Leo suggested. "Lets all go somewhere for a couple days." "Where?" Nick asked. "I don't know," Leo said. "We'll decide that in the car." "Leo, what's this all about?" Nick asked. "I just need to go somewhere," Leo said. "Why?" Nick asked. "Because Jesse and I will never be together again," Leo said finally saying what he's been trying to deny for so long. His eyes began to water at the thought of it. "I just need to go somewhere Nick." "Okay," Nick said hearing the sadness in Leo's voice. "I'll call when I'm done packing." "Thanks," Leo said. "Can you call Kurt?" "Of course," Nick said. Back at the apartment Kurt had just finished taking a hot shower and changing into some dry clothes. When he walked into the living room he saw Craig and Ryan talking together in the living room. "Oh sorry to interrupt," Kurt said entering the room. "It's okay," Ryan said. "Hey Kurt," Craig said. "Hi Craig, how are you?" Kurt asked. "I'm a lot better now," Craig said holding Ryan's hand. "Good," Kurt said as he quickly went into the kitchen to hide the unhappiness he was feeling. Ryan looked over at Kurt, longing that it was him he was sitting with on the couch. He thought the two had a shot, but when Kurt suggested he talk to Craig it through him off. Kurt just finished making himself a sandwich when his cell rang. "Hello?" Kurt asked. "Hey it's Nick." "What's up?" Kurt asked. "Pack your bags, you, Leo and I are going to take a trip for a couple days," Nick said. "Why?" Kurt asked. "Leo needs this and he needs us there with him," Nick replied. That's all Kurt needed to hear, "Of course." "Okay, pack your bag and meet me at Leo's," Nick said. "All right," Kurt sighed. "You okay?" Nick asked. Kurt walked into the living room to head to his bedroom when he saw Ryan and Craig kissing each other. "Not great," Kurt sighed, "I could use a trip myself." "See you at Leo's," Nick said. "Okay, bye," Kurt replied hanging up. Kurt went to his room, he took one last look at Ryan and Craig kissing before he closed the door to pack. Kurt quickly grabbed a bag and packed things he would need for a couple days. He put on his jacket and then headed out. When he walked back into the living room Ryan was sitting alone on the couch. "Where's Craig?" Kurt asked. "He's in the bathroom," Ryan replied, he then noticed the bag. "Where are you going?" "I'm going to go on a trip for a couple days," Kurt said. "Where?" Ryan asked. "I don't know," Kurt replied. "Last minute trip." "I see," Ryan replied. "Hey Kurt, about earlier today at the beach-" "We don't need to go there," Kurt said interrupting him. "But-," Ryan began, but Kurt cut him off again. "Really Ryan," Kurt said. "It's fine. You were upset, it was an easy thing turn to to hide the hurt you were feeling over your fight with Craig. But you two worked things out, so that's great." "Yeah, but-" Ryan tried again, but Kurt really didn't want to hear it. "Ryan," Kurt said. "I'd rather we didn't. I'll see you in a couple days." Kurt then left and headed over to Leo's. Craig came out of the bathroom and sat down next to Ryan. He saw the upset look on his face. "What's wrong?" Craig asked. "Nothing," Ryan replied giving Craig a kiss. Kurt and Nick arrived at Leo's apartment at the same time. They knocked on the door and Leo answered all ready to go with his bag in hand. "All right," Leo said. "Let's go." "And where are we going?" Kurt asked. "I'm not sure yet," Leo said. "Who's driving?" Kurt asked. "I'll drive," Nick answered. "Great," Leo said. "Thanks." The guys all got into Nick's car and sat in the parking lot. "So," Nick said. "Where are we going?" **************************************************************************** To Be Continued.... With any comments, questions, or feedback please e-mail me at ilj4ever44@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading!