Chapter 6

"You guys are going to kill it tonight," Roxana says.

Emory doesn't answer.  He's looking around.  It's beyond awkward.  I'm sitting in the back seat literally looking at how hopeful Roxana is and how disconnected Emory is when she talks to him.  I feel like a kid watching his parents argue.  Only there is no arguing.  Only an awkwardness.

"Cool," is all Emory states.

"I'll be in the crowd cheering you on," Roxana replies, "If you need to be turned on just come on over and give me a quick lapdance."

There is a pause.

Then Emory just sighs a little bit, "Let's get this over with."

He walks out of the car and starts walking away.  It's been a while now that Emory has shown himself to be really disconnected not only from Roxana but from this life period.  It looks like he has this heavy burden on his mind and I just can't put my finger on it.

As soon as he leaves I can see Roxana just staring at the door like a lost puppy.

"He never left before without giving you a kiss."

"He lost his memory," she responds.

"Emory was always affectionate.  Always.  I'm sorry sis, but I don't think that's something you can just forget," I state.

"Why don't you mind your fuckin' business and worry about your own relationship?" she asks before rolling her eyes and adding, "Oh, I forgot.  You don't have one."

Ever since we were younger Roxana always was the type to get easily offended.  It turned guys off from her.  She had an attitude.  I used to think she just constantly woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  Truth is I think deep inside she wanted to be loved.  Maybe it was the fact that guys constantly ignored her for prettier girls or cheated on her.  She had this wall up.  And she finally let it down and it was worth it.  Emory was the man of her dreams.

It hurts seeing that dream fall apart right in front of my eyes.

"You might not want to hear this but I've seen him sneaking off in the middle of the night to lay on the couch.  I've seen him not even look at you twice.  It's been two weeks.  Have the two of you been intimate?  At all----"

"You're crossing the line."

I assumed that was a big fat NO.

"I just don't want to see you hurt," I explain, "That's all sis.  That's all."

Roxana has that wall up. She looks at the steering wheel.  She looks at the lights.  She looks at everything she can look at to distract from this moment.

That's when we hear a knock on the door.

It's him.  Emory.

"You coming?" he asks me.

I nod and get out of the car.  I'm trying to tell my sister what I know to be true.  Something was off with Emory.  I wasn't sure what it was but I knew it was something a lot more complicated than just memory loss.

It was our first day at work.  We all have our own little set up in the back.  The lockers remind me of high school.  Another thing reminds me about high school as well: the weird looks that Lux is giving us when we walk in.

"Is it me or are these guys a little cold?" Emory asks.

I can look at Emory and see he's a little uncomfortable.  He had no reason to be.  He had on these white underwear that clung to his body and was causing every stripper in the room to take a second look at him.  I mean me and D were a force to reckon with but Emory.  Fuck.  Just looking at him was a trip on his own.  He used to be fine back in the day but now he was FINE!  His body is chiseled like it was designed in a lab.  His waist is the smallest waist in here.  The only person who has a body that comes even close to his is Lux but even Lux looks like nothing compared to Emory.  He had the perfect body.  Fat ass, big dick, small waist and a face that was clearly a 10.  It's a little strange that he's feeling so self-aware.  Before his little disappearing act Emory definitely seemed so much more secure in himself.

D shrugs, "Maybe they're just threatened by the new guys.  I mean look at you."

"The rest of us are here too," I tease D.

"You know what I meant.  Yeah," D laughs, "All of us...just especially sexy ass Emory.  Let's just hope we aren't working around the same area as this guy."

"You do look good today," I tell Emory.

He flushes a little bit.

"I'm OK."

He looks down.  Even though he looks better than he ever has, he seems the most uncomfortable.  He keeps putting his hands over his gigantic bulge.

D pats him a little bit on the back, "We're gonna kill it right?"

I look over at Emory hoping to reassure him.

"D's right.  We're going to be fine.  Don't worry about other people. They are probably all just too scared of Lux to be nice."

"Lux?"

"The guy at the end.  He probably feels some type of way after I made a big deal when you disappeared."

Emory pauses, "Why would he feel some type of way?"

"Because he brought us to that hotel that night you disappeared."

We turn.  Sure enough, Lux is staring at us from the corner of his eyes.  He's not alone.  He has a bunch of these guys with him.  Emory wasn't wrong when he says we were getting the cold shoulder.  I knew before starting here that Lux was KING SHIT.  Him standing there in the way he was seemed intimidating.  It wasn't hard to tell----he didn't want us here.  He definitely didn't want us around.

And it seems like a lot of the other guys were following Lux's lead.

"Hey----"

Emory leans over.  He is whispering, trying not to get D to overhear what we are talking about.  The way he grabs me is strange.  He holds onto my shoulder.  I've lathered myself with oil so it's rather impressive that he can hold on that long.

"What happened that night?" he ask.

I shake my head, "You're hurting me, Emory, damn that's a grip..."

That's when I notice his grip getting even harder.

"I need to know what happened that night."

His grip is so tight.  It's fucking weird.  I wish I knew what happened that night.  I wasn't fucking there.  The look in Emory's eyes tells me he means business and it's kind of...weird.  Almost scary.

Then there was Lux.  He's drinking some wine.  He swirls it around a few times.

"Maybe you should ask Lux," I shrug.

I'm not imagining how focused Emory is.  I'm not imagining when he turns to Lux.  He gives him a look.  The look says it all.  He's curious.  He's almost to the point of suspicious of Lux.   I cross my arms and he finally releases me when we see Ainsley walking into the back.  There are vanity mirrors in the front before the aisles of lockers.

I notice the other boys clamoring to walk over to Ainsley.  It had to be some sort of morning meeting or something.  What I also notice is how Emory is staring over at Lux.

"Hey everybody----so busy night tonight.  A lot of guys are out there.  A lot of money to be made.  We have some new boys.  This is D, that's Emory and that's Berlin.  Everybody welcome them..."

I guess Emory was going with his actual name and not Ivory like before.  It didn't matter.  As long as he was back----even if he was acting weird as hell.  There is one skinny boy in the back who starts clapping but he's quickly shut up by a hard stiff elbow to his abdomen.  I wasn't imagining this.  We were being blacklisted.

What for?

"Or not---" Ainsley realizes how awkward it is, "Well Thiago.  You are on the floor with the new boys.  Get the patrons warmed up before the real shows begin."

Fluffers.

That's what we were.  Fluffers.

I notice a young looking guy walking over to me, "You guys meet me on the floor.  And you---yeah you----"

"Me?" I ask.

"Get rid of the deer-in-the-headlights look.  Guys will think you are high.  Trust me, it's a turn off for them."

He smiles when he says it and pats me a little bit.

"I'll try."

That's when I see someone push Thiago out of the way as though they were using his back to stop them from falling.  That's when I see wine spill all over Emory.

"Oops," the voice says.

It's Lux.  I should have known.  He spills his entire glass of wine all over Emory's white underwear.  Seeing his wet underwear immediately turns me on and by the look of it, I think if Lux meant to embarrass Emory it has the opposite effect.

"What the fuck man?" I say to Lux.

"You got something to say to me?"

That's when D grabs me by the shoulder, "Nah.  He's cool."

Lux smiles, "I thought so.  You boys might want to hurry up and get out there to warm my clients up before the headliners hit the stage."

Lux's crew is quiet.  They are nothing more than lapdogs.  It's clear as hell that he runs this place when he leaves and they follow behind him.  He did it on purpose.  We all knew.  None of them seemed to give a damn that he was treating Emory like this for no clear reason.  The only one that remains in the room after they leave is the young Latino kid, Thiago.

"He's like that with everyone," Thiago states, "Don't take it personally."

Emory looks over at D, "You got any extra underwear I can borrow man."

D shakes his head, "Maybe in the car.  I'll go check."

"Please."

D leaves.  I'm left in the backroom with Emory alone.  I can't help but feel bad for him.  I immediately grab a rag and start wiping him down.  I don't realize how awkward it must be that I'm patting down his junk until Emory grabs onto my hand and stops me.

"Can you not?" he asks.

Now I'm irritated.
"I'm just trying to help," I state, "I get your memory loss and shit but you have to put yourself in my position.  I'm used to doing everything with you."

He pauses for a moment as though thinking about it.

"I'm sorry, you can...you can do it if you want."

I start patting him down and I can tell he's a little uncomfortable.  His chest and body are sticky with the wine.  It's all over.  Lux definitely did a number on him.

"He knows something," Emory states out of nowhere.

"Lux?"

He nods, "He's insecure about me being here.  I can see it all in his eyes.  I'm good at reading people.  I've done it a lot in the past."

"You have?"

I had no idea that he was good at reading people.

Emory stutters trying to find the words, "While---while I was gone.  I meant."

"OH."

"Help me," Emory states, "Help me find out what he knows."

I sigh a little bit.  Lux was bad news.  I knew it from the first moment that I met him.  But it's been almost 2 weeks since Emory has been ;back and this was the first time he seemed to be at least open to me being In his life in some way, shape or form.  He was acting like he actually wanted me around for once.

So that's why I nod.

"Sure, I'll try to figure something out."

"Thanks. We must have been really close huh?"

"Real close."

He smiles a little bit, "Maybe we can rebuild a friendship.  You know.  See what that weird connection is all about."

"You feel a weird connection?" I ask.

He stutters, "You know---like uh friend---like.  Like you know?  Like a brother."

I smile, "I'm just messing with you bro.  I get it."

"We should go..."

"Yeah."

I grab my stuff and start leaving out.  That's when I realize I forgot my phone.  I turn back around and sure enough, Emory is behind me.  He's looking down and he's not just looking down.  Emory is licking his lips.  He was staring at my ass.

What the----

"You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Emory states.

That's when Emory walks past me.  Only he just doesn't walk past me.  He walks past me and he takes a long hard sniff.  It's as though he's breathing me in or something. I'm not imagining it.  I'm not imagining him pressing his crotch up against my ass.

If I didn't know better I would think Emory was attracted to me.

But that couldn't be the case.

Right?

=====================================================================================

Everett

"Sexy as hell, ain't he?" a voice states.

I turn and see this guy standing there.  He's one of the strippers.  He's caught me staring at Barry, AKA Berlin.  I was in the military.  I had managed to be an officer actually.   I'd been promoted just a few months ago.   I took a leave when I found out what happened to my brother.  Being a military officer, it was easy to stay disciplined.  It was taking all my discipline not to get attracted to this guy.  I had to admit the kid was sexy.  Not a loud, out there kind of sexy.  But the low voice, helpful spirit, sweet kind of guy.  It doesn't help that he's walking around in a jockstrap.  His ass is PHAT.  He has this laid-back swag that just straight up drives me nuts.

"That's my brother-in-law," I tell the guy.

Just when he says that I find myself turning over to my wife...well, Emory's wife.  She waves over at me.  She is so happy just to be around.  The worst part of all of this is her.  It would have been so easy if Emory wasn't married.  It would have been easier if his brother in law wasn't some sexy ass guy with an amazing ass who literally touched me all day every day.

"Sure.  I get it.  Brother---whatever white boy.  Don't mean he's any less sexy.  Ever been with a black boy?"

"I'm straight.  And married----to his sister."

"That's not what I asked."

"No."

It was the truth.  I'd never dated a black guy.  I'd always dated white guys except of course my current boyfriend who was Latino.

"You don't know what you missing.  Man look at that ass..."

Hitter doesn't shy away from reaching down into his jockstrap and grabbing his dick.  He is feeling himself.  There is a guy who is looking on that seems to go nuts watching Hitter do what he was doing.  It makes me sick honestly.  He was an attractive guy looking at innocent Berlin as though he was something to fucking eat.

I try not to look offended but it's hard when I immediately glared at him, "Don't look at him that way bro."

"Oh that's you?" he asks.

"No.  I said that's my brother-in-law."

I try not to look at Berlin's ass.  Truth is it was driving me crazy.  It wasn't just the ass either.  It's hard not to be turned by a cute, handsome, nice guy who was literally ALWAYS touching you.  He couldn't keep his fucking hands off of me.  Two days ago I woke up and he was cuddled up next to me with nothing on but some boy shorts with his ass cheeks poking out.  I wanted to do some ungodly things to that boy.  I literally spent the next 30 minutes in the bathroom jacking off.

I couldn't get him out of my head.  And I wasn't here for that.  I had a boyfriend back home.  I had a reason I was here.  I had to find out what happened to my brother, period.  All those times he'd reached out to me trying to get some help financially I ignored him.  It was my fault.  I didn't know he was in trouble.  Now I had to figure out how to save him.

"Oh, my bad."

"Weren't you supposed to be ignoring us?"  I ask, remembering how shady everyone was being earlier.

"Lux doesn't want us to," he states, "But Lux is getting ready in the back so figured I'd come out here see how you guys were doing."

I knew it.  The guy Lux had a problem with me.  He'd been given me looks all night.  Not the same kind of looks that Hitter caught me giving Berlin.  These kind of looks were different.  These were the kind of looks that you didn't want to get.

"Well, you might want to leave before your boss catches you talking to me," I sneer, "We're doing fine over here."

I was working the tables while Thiago and Berlin were giving out lapdances to the smooth tunes of Drake on the speakers.  I look over at Berlin.  Damn what I wouldn't give to be that lap that he was grinding on right now.  Almost as though he can feel me staring at him, he lifts his eyes.  Our eyes connect.  I quickly turn away.  QUICKLY!

I needed to stay away from this guy.  He was distracting as fuck.

"YO---" a voice states.

It's Ainsley.  He runs out of the back.  He grabs Hitter by his collarbone.

"What the fuck man---back off!"  Hitter says.

Ainsley isn't having it, "You gave my two boys that new drug.  That new strand of PCP---_"

"Twerk and Adrian?  They asked for it," Hitter defends himself, "I warned them.  You told me it was OK to sell them stuff."

"I'm talking about weed.  Maybe some coke.  Not no strange fuckin drug," He states shaking his head, "They are backstage tweaking the fuck out.  Getting violent and shit."

If Hitter or Ainsley knew what I did for a living they wouldn't be talking to me like that.  Hitter was clearly a drug dealer.  I'd noticed earlier in the locker room when I saw Thiago, who had visible signs of heroin use all over his body clamoring up to Hitter's locker.  I hated guys like Hitter.  He poured his poison into the community without having to.  I knew working here he made more than enough money to survive.  This wasn't about survival.  No this was greed.   He didn't have to do what he did.

"Everything OK over here?" we're interrupted.

It's him.  Fucking Berlin. He's touching me again.  He walks over and touches the frame of my back.  He's so fucking touchy.  I cough a little bit and take a step back acting as though I was getting sick.  I don't care what it took.  Anything not to get too close to this guy.  I hate the way he makes me feel.  I hate the way I shiver a little bit every time he puts his hands on me.

And then as though it was nothing he takes a step closer to me.  WHAT THE FUCK!  It was as though he literally couldn't exist without being RIGHT next to me.  I was annoyed and turned on all the time.  I'd never been so confused by anyone.

Whatever relationship he had with Emory was more than confusing.  It was fucking extra as fuck.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

I know he's over there because Ainsley was getting loud.  That's the thing about him.  He likes to be protective.

Ainsley disagrees almost immediately, "Actually we're not.  We need two boys to perform tonight.  Twerk and Adrian had a tag team show that they were doing.  We need someone to take their place."

"Like some new fresh faces that have chemistry together?" Hitter asks, "Because if so I'm looking at two right now."

Hitter was just trying to get out of his fuck up.  I could tell.  The worst thing about this moment though is that it worked.  Ainsley lets Hitter go and he looks over at me and Berlin.

"Oh yeah.  You two must have a routine."

Fuck.  What the fuck was he talking about? I panicked.

"Actually we don't---"

"He's right," Berlin backs me up before unexpectedly adding, "We freestyle all the time together."

"Perfect better than nothing."

~

I'm backstage, feeling nervous as hell.  It was my first night.  If Hitter hadn't gotten two of the guys high beyond belief we wouldn't have to be performing.  I look out at the crowd.  Everyone was in these velvet lounge seats watching us.  I was getting antsy.  I see her.

Roxana.  My so-called "Wife".  She was eagerly awaiting our show.

"Don't go out there," a voice states from behind me.

I turn and see Lux surprisingly standing there.  He looks at me with this weird look.  It's not the angry look he had on before.  He almost looks...worried.

"What?"

"Don't go out there," he tells me, "You don't want to put any extra attention on yourself.  Trust me.  I'm trying to warn you."

Someone interrupts us almost immediately.  It's Berlin walking up and grabbing me away from Lux with this protective look in his eyes.  "Thanks but he'll be fine,"

"Barry---B wait..." I state.

He's dragging me out on the stage.  My heart is racing a million miles per minute.  I couldn't fuckin do this.  I just couldn't fucking do this.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm nervous," I admit.

He raises an eyebrow, "Fine.  Let me do all the work."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see..."

The stage has red lights.  He tells me to sit on a chair in the middle of the room.  I'm wearing my underwear and my combat boots.  The crowd is looking at me.  It's an eerie bit of nothingness.  I feel embarrassed.  And that's when I see him come out to the songs of Daniel Caesar "Get You".

Through drought and famine, natural disasters

My baby has been around for me

Kingdoms have fallen, angels be calling

None of that could ever make me leave

Out of nowhere comes this fucking...angel wearing short shorts.  But you couldn't tell me he wasn't an angel.  You couldn't tell me he didn't descend from heaven thong or not.  I look at him and I swear everyone else in the room just seems to disappear.

Every time I look into your eyes I see it

You're all I need

Every time I get a bit inside I feel it

He circles me.  My anticipation increases.  I try not to look at him.  My eyes land on Roxana who seems surprised that we are dancing together.  I'm not imagining it.  Her face looks bothered.  Real bothered.

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you

He approaches me slowly and he begins to pull up my underwear slowly circling around the spandex as if he's going to take it off, then releases it.  He starts playing with his own underwear and thumbs in his shorts and slo-o-owly slide them down his hips while gyrating.

That's when he sits on my lap and straddles me as I'm seated with knees on either side of them. My heart is beating so fast that I think I'm going to float away.

"Oh shit," I'm whispering feeling his ass cheeks against my crotch with nothing separating us but a thin piece of underwear.

I'm saying this for a reason.  I was getting hard.  Really hard.

I grasp onto the armrests, for dear life. He's sitting on my lap facing me as you make eye contact and move your hips in circles.  Our chests are up against one another.  He presses up against me.   Next, slowly he rises to a standing position in front of me and then gently slide one of his legs down my crotch.

By this point, people are coming up to the stage.  They are throwing money at us but I could care less.  I'm just focused on him.

With one leg on the ground,  Berlin quickly raises the other leg and brush my crotch with it as he lowers.  That's when he gets into a fucking headstand!  A fucking handstand.  His ass is turned up against me right in my fuckin face!

And when we're making love

Your cries they can be heard from far and wide

It's only the two of us

Everything I need's between those thighs

Every time I look into your eyes I see it

You're all I need

Every time I get a bit inside I feel it

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you, oh yeah, oh yeah, baby

Ooh, who would've thought I'd get you

I couldn't take it anymore.  I grab him.  I don't know what gets into me.  Maybe it's all the times I've been staring at him.  Maybe it's everything I've wanted to do to him.  All I know is that I'm grabbing him, laying him slowly on the floor and humping him with my underwear on.  It doesn't matter because my dick is hard.  He can feel it.

The crowd can see it.

I should be embarrassed.  I'd never been showy.  I'd always been private.  Maybe it was the military training that I had which never allowed me to let loose. Now I was loose.  My hands run up against the side of his stomach.  I feel so far away from it all.  The strict nature of the military didn't matter.  Right now the only thing that mattered was him.

The smell his breath.

The lightness of his touch.

The way his hips rocked with me.  We grooved together. It was just the two of us.

"Fuck..." is all he whispers."

"Fuck," I say in return, "Can you feel that?"

I was wet.  Precum.  That's what it was.  To the people watching us it was probably just cum, but to us, it was something different.  It was something almost frightening.  Something that said no matter how much I didn't want to be I was attracted to him.  It was wrong.  I was in a relationship.  I had a longtime boyfriend.  Even if I didn't----I was here for another reason.  What about Roxana?

What about everything?

Everything?  What was everything...

Ahh, there it was.  Everything.  I found it.  I found it in his eyes.

So I do the only thing that you do when you meet someone and you feel this connection to them that you can't understand.

I kiss him.

Not just a regular kiss. I stick my tongue down his throat and I don't realize how much I've lost control until I see him push me off of me.

"What the fuck man!" he screams.

"I---I was---oh fuck," I state, "FUCK!"

He's terrified of me at that moment.  Horrified that I crossed the line to actually fucking kiss him at that moment.  It wasn't just a dance at that moment.  It wasn't a tease.  I had fucking blanked out and kissed this fucking guy.  What kind of loser was I?

"Who are you?" he asks.

Fuck.  I feel at that moment he knew.  The real Emory wouldn't have fucking kissed him.  Not the way that I did.

"I..."

I think about telling him right then and there but I remember where I am.  So many people watching us.  What shocked me, even more, was the amount of money on the stage.  PILES of money.  People clapping.  People loved our performance even with this odd, weird ending.

I wish Barry was that entertained.

"Fuck..." he says looking out into the crowd, "Roxana!  ROXANA!"

That's when I see his sister.  She's running off with tears in her eyes.  She is clearly hurt.

Dammit.

"Let me go talk to her," I offer.

"Get the fuck away from me," he states, "You've done enough..."

 

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