Date: Wed, 26 Jan 2022 05:30:46 +0000
From: Jak Ladd <JAKLADD@hotmail.com>
Subject: Seduction By Exposure

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Seduction By Exposure
by Jakladd aka Bobbi Jayne

Not even sure how to begin here.  It happened over time, easy for me to
look back on it now but as it unfolded it seemed to be shrouded in mist.
 Things happen in your life are like scattered jigsaw puzzle pieces as
they happen, only to snap into place after looking them over in detail.
 I was dating a girl, Susie, and things were going great.  So good in
fact we had moved in together and that's kinda of how all this happened.
 Let me explain.

Susie was a godsend for me after I had a string of at least three very
powerful love affairs with some very beautiful women.  I had been
divorced a number of years and these three love affairs all had
remarkably similar progressions; intense romantic attraction, white hot
love affair only to explode into flames and crash down to earth into an
emotional pile of ashes.  Every one of them, the same pattern.  Of
course, I was pretty screwed up too and if you are whack then attraction
between equally screwed up people is pretty common.  Then my dad died and
psychologically I slipped a bit unknowingly.  Up to this point I wasn't
any more into drink and drugs than the next guy, but it took a heavy turn
for the worse.  After the love affairs and the emotional carnage in its
wake something else popped up, my sexuality.  I guess I had always been a
closet bisexual and would have a bi encounter with a guy every few years.
 I did it before my first marriage to Carrie and a few times during that
marriage while it lasted.  Then I went like ten years from the end of the
marriage with Carrie through the three explosive love affairs with no
homosexual encounters.

After my dad died and the love affairs had left me a wreck, I went on a
substance abuse fueled behavior pattern that was strictly homosexual.
My state was very destructive, dozens of anonymous gay encounters and
tons of drugs and alcohol.  None of the sexual encounters were even
remotely satisfying and I was spiraling lower and lower.  Then something
snapped.  What fortitude I had left inside salvaged me after a bleary
hungover confrontation with my boss.  My dad was an alcoholic, I did not
want to be one.  I got help.  I got better.  After a period of time where
I was clean, clearer thinking and a better person I met Susie.  She was
beautiful in a very simple mid-western gal kind of way and very even
keeled, not at all screwed up like my past loves and how whack I was
before cleaning up.  Thanks for bearing with me letting me set where the
story starts.

Susie and I dated for over a year before moving in together.  Moving in
was my idea, she was pretty hesitant about it but up to that point in
dating things had gone very well for our relationship.  She was from a
very conservative mid-west family; my upbringing was much less strict but
also chaotic with moving around a lot and the alcoholism in the family.
 With Susie I cherished the stability and lack of drama; between the two
of us opposites attracted unlike two psyche jobs attracting each other in
my previous romantic relationships.  Our moving in together was something
we hid from Susie's parents.  I had moved into her condo and when her
parents came to visit then I stayed in a motel a time or two.  Her
parents lived about 2 hours away in rural part of the state.  At some
point I ran into a friend Ronnie who I had known in my drinking days.  He
knew Susie and when I told him of the arrangement of me vacating when
Susie's folks were in town, he told me I could stay with him those one or
two nights the folks were around.  And so, the next time I needed to
vacate because of Susie's folks, I called Ronnie.

Looking back some parts of my stay over at Ronnie's are hazy remembering
the time sequences, other parts are as clear as the day they happened.
 One of my stays over at Ronnie's apartment I contacted Deb, really the
one true love of my failed love affairs.  We both still loved each other
but we knew too much time had passed and too much water under the bridge.
 Still, with my relationship with Susie deepening I needed to know with
Deb if things were indeed over.  It was good to see her, she was a
stunning, skinny, small breasted "heavy metal" blond always with dark eye
shadow with whom sex was always phenomenal, but with too much chaos,
drama and dysfunction it prevented a stable relationship.  Don't remember
much of that night, of course I wanted to screw her but just remember
feeling up her lovely little titties through her top as we kissed, that
was all, no sex.  Was the time I saw or heard from her.

Ronnie was very nice to put me up and I must admit I have always been a
very horny guy.  Being at his place while he was at work, I rummaged
around to see if he had any girlie magazines, doesn't every guy?  Back in
those days, yes.  Sure enough, I found a couple of Playboy mags and beat
off.  What I also remember staying over at Ronnie's was one morning he
was in his bedroom, it was a tiny one bedroom flat, and I was out under
the covers on the couch where I had slept.  We were both up and can't
remember exactly how it started but we began a deep, lengthy, esoteric
conversation.  He was in his bed in the one bedroom and I was nude under
a sheet out on the couch, I always slept nude.  We were actually very
good friends from years before and had always hit it off on an
intellectual level.  Our conversation was a connection between us talking
and laughing from our separate rooms and beds.  Again, I don't remember
why or how but as I was talking with Ronnie I was getting very turned on
and had a massive hard on by this point.  We weren't talking sex, maybe
about women, but just talking and connecting as friends do.

Ronnie got up to use the bathroom and went to the fridge walking by me on
the couch and offered me some juice, which I declined.  He had a tee
shirt and boxers on.  When he walked back to his bedroom for some reason,
I had pulled the sheet half off, one leg under the sheet but one leg and
my big hard on and naked chest exposed.  He had to have seen my hard on.
 He was soon back in his room and our conversation picked right back up.
 No way he would not have seen my hard cock.  For me it was scintillating
to expose myself so nonchalantly to Ronnie, once you have an erection
sometimes the penis does the thinking.  After about another twenty
minutes or so of conversation Ronnie got up to fix some coffee.  I was
still hard and very aroused, not really sure what I was doing or where
this might lead.  From all the many homosexual encounters I had before I
was with Susie, I loved being naked for another guy, it just felt so
arousing and natural.  Ronnie walked by me and I had pulled more of the
sheet off and was nearly totally exposed and fully hard as he walked by.


We talked as Ronnie made coffee and as it was brewing, he stood at the
end of the counter talking to me as I lay there nearly fully exposed,
hard cock and all, as if it was no big deal.  He talked with me till
coffee was ready looking right at me, my big hard cock as plain as day.
 From there I guess I chickened out.  It's easy to have a gay encounter
with an anonymous guy, quite different with someone who is a straight
friend and knows I live with a girl, that being the reason I was even
sleeping at his place.  So, nothing happened.  Still in the back of my
mind Ronnie always struck me as someone it might be natural to have a
male/male encounter with but it just wasn't right for me to force the
issue.

Ronnie and I didn't hang out a lot, I worked a great deal and was deeply
involved with Susie.  Still we kept in touch and Susie and I were more
than a little surprised when Ronnie was engaged to a girl named Sandra
after dating her only a matter of months.  We couldn't say anything, but
we saw all the earmarks of trouble.  Sure enough, in less than a year,
Ronnie went from engaged, to married, to divorced.  Ronnie took it in
stride joking about being blown up by "Sandra bin Laden".  By that time
Ronnie had moved to a small house in another part of town.  He was an
aspiring artist and actually quite good, I know because there are a
number of talented artists in my family.  Susie worked Mondays through
Fridays, I worked Tuesdays through Saturdays.  Ronnie had flexible
schedule and was generally off on Mondays too. Sometimes I would stop by
his house on my day off and we'd chit chat and he'd show me his works;
landscapes, animals of all sorts like buffaloes, horses, birds, even a
few nudes.  I think I was married to Susie by this time and still I
always wondered "what if" about that morning I let him see me naked and
when I exposed to him my hard cock.  I had gone over to Ronnie's a few
times to hang out over a period of months and it was always in the back
of my mind if he remembered like I did about that morning.

One Monday at his place when looking at some of his paintings, there was
a nude painting of a woman.  I can't even really remember how I got the
nerve up but awkwardly I blurted I would be glad to pose like that for
him if he ever needed a model.  We kind of chuckled about it but nothing
more than that.  Inside I was a little embarrassed that I had even said
that, kinda of opening myself and showing my feelings, putting myself on
the spot.  When I got home, Susie was at work.  Even though I was mad at
myself for making that statement about posing for Ronnie, it really
turned me on.  The thought about exposing myself and being nude for him
again made me so hard I masturbated to an intense climax in my hyper
sexual fantasy world.  Honestly, I was a little hesitant about going over
to his place for quite a while so as he wouldn't think I was too whack,
so I just let things alone and tried to get it out of my mind.  It was
more than a few weeks later I ran into Ronnie coming out of the
supermarket as I was going in.   As we greeted, he said:

"Long time no see stranger, where you been hiding?"

"Oh, just busy, didn't want to bug you," I sheepishly said.

"That's good.  As long as you're not avoiding me," Ronnie said jokingly.

"Like the plague," I joked back.  We looked at each other, one of those
looks where we both knew something was up.

"You sure? You're acting funny," we looked at each other with uncertainty
again.

"Thought I might have freaked you out," I blurted out.

"What? Why?" Ronnie went on.

"Nothing, forget it," I said uncomfortably.  We both looked at each other
again, then stared blankly at each as Ronnie tried to process and
recollect why were at this stumbling point in the conversation.  After
another long pause he asked:

"About posing? Was that it?"

"Yeah, kinda," rather sheepishly I offered.  "It freaked me out that I
said it.  Hope you're not mad."  I should have left it alone and not said
this, here I was making a big deal out of it in my mind.

"Mad? Nonsense, I'm not mad at you," Ronnie went on.  "I thought you were
just kidding.  Guessing you took it more seriously than I thought.  You
didn't need to avoid me over that.  I'm fine with it if you are.  Come on
over Monday if you aren't too shy about it.  I'm always up for a
challenge, for a new painting" Ronnie said in his easy-going jovial
manner.

"Sure?" I ashamedly blurted softly.

"I'm sure.  You're my friend, no need to be a stranger.  Day time the
lighting is good for painting," he said as he gave me a big hug. "I won't
bite.  Really, is that why you've not been around?  You should have said
something.  We can make it a work of art."

He was much more of a "hugger" than I was, maybe that's why I initially
thought he might be cool with things.  Back when I was moving in with
Susie and I remember giving him this nice glass coffee table that Susie
would not have wanted at her place.  Ronnie just seemed overly excited
and appreciative about getting it and hugged me and just seemed overly
affectionate about something I thought was no big deal.  As I got to
thinking about actually posing for him and it did freak me out a little
to go through with it.  Yeah, I made a big deal about it in my mind and
he thought nothing of it and forgot about it.  So here I'm fantasizing
about posing nude and wanting him to see me naked for sexual reasons and
he is thinking about a 'work of art'.

It was Thursday when we stumbled into each other at the supermarket and
Monday did not seem that far off when I was going to go over to Ronnie's
to pose nude for him.  When Susie was in bed asleep that night I could
not help but think about it while down on the couch. I immediately took
off my clothes and masturbated to a mind-numbing ejaculation just
thinking about disrobing for Ronnie.  Was not sure it was going to lead
to anything but the thought of being nude for him again and him
acknowledging me being nude for him by posing was thrilling beyond
belief.  From that day it took forever till Monday rolled around when I
would be going over to pose for Ronnie.  I had a hard on every time I
thought about it.  Sex with Susie during that weekend was incredible too,
she had no idea that the reason I was so aroused was because I was so
very excited about posing naked for Ronnie.

It was a little awkward when I got over to Ronnie's but he had a back
drop set up and gave me a few pointers before we got started, he was much
more at ease than I was.  I told him that would be honored for him to do
a painting of me but under no circumstances could he ever tell Susie
about it or show it to anyone that knows me.  Ronnie said okay, just on
his part I could not see the painting until it was finished, that it
would take 3 or 4 sittings to do the painting.   I'm tall and slender
with little body hair and still rather boyish for my age.  Ronnie was
taller, beefier, with reddish hair a moustache and glasses.  I was
nervous and excited; my biggest fear was that I would take my clothes off
for him sporting a huge woody.  As much as it thrilled me to be nude for
him again, I did not want it to be too obvious.  Luckily my nervousness
helped keep my penis flaccid as I struck the reclining pose on the draped
backdrop.  Plus, laying there stationary for over an hour is pretty
boring and un-stimulating.

It was almost clinical in our interaction with each other and I got
dressed and went home like it was no big deal with him.  For me when I
got home that day, it was a big deal.  I was soon naked, beating off to a
lovely climax just from the thrill of being naked again for Ronnie.
 Showing him my naked body brought back a rush of the same feelings and
excitement I had the from when I exposed myself to Ronnie in his
apartment.   And sex with Susie the climaxes were incredible just at the
naughty thought of being naked for Ronnie.  Same thing after the second
session, a superb masturbation once I got home and still a wonderful hard
on every time just thinking about when I was naked for him.  Ronnie
indicated that he'd probably be done after the third sitting; I could not
wait see the painting.  And I must admit that after the second session I
was more than half hard and kinda played with myself nonchalantly as I
got dressed as we talked.  Having him see me naked and see me play with
my cock made me tingle inside but I knew it was all just in my mind.

The third session seemed to drag on forever but he had to be getting
close to finishing the painting.  Knowing that, involuntarily my cock got
very hard laying there naked in front of him.  Reclining nude with
massive hard on.  I was smitten with arousal and fucking loved being nude
for him and letting him observe my erection.  When he looked away from me
and back at the canvas, I would rub my cock to keep it hard then take my
hand away before he looked back.  I know he had to see my nice hard cock
because he kept looking over at me.  My erection slowly subsided somewhat
but was still mostly hard and after an eternity Ronnie finally told me to
come look at the painting.  Not even bothering to get dressed I walked
naked over to the easel and peeked.  Ronnie was sitting down smiling as I
gathered in the painting.  Neither of us said a word as we both gazed at
it.  Wow, it was good.  Simple, but good.  Reclining nude, can't get much
more basic than that.  Still, seeing a painting of yourself is a life
experience not to be discounted.

We had not spoken a word other than me saying "Wow I love it".
 Inadvertently in my nakedness, I leaned my body into Ronnie with my
elbow casually resting on his shoulder.  My cock was more than half hard.
 As we continued to look at the painting his arm went around my naked
waist.  It was all very natural and casual that I was leaning on him,
even being naked next to him and with his arm around my waist.  Quite
involuntarily, my cock was now fully erect.  It was something that was
unmistakable.  Bold and plain as day my erection stood out proudly in the
quiet of the afternoon.  We looked softly into each other's eyes.  It was
so obvious my cock was that hard and erect, throbbing and twitching,
poking out.  The fact it was sticking out as it was, there was no way to
avoid the truth of it being hard like that.  In my nakedness leaning into
Ronnie there was just no way to avoid the fact that I had a massive
erection sticking out so stiff.  A clear drop of pre cum glistened on the
tip.   I wanted so bad for Ronnie to touch it.  Really from the first
time I showed him my hard cock so long ago I wanted him to touch it.  We
held the gaze for an eternity when he at last lifted his hand to touch my
penis.  Inside I shuddered as Ronnie gently stroked my penis.  All the
buildup of times I let Ronnie see me naked were now manifest with his
hand pulling on my penis.  It was a quiet, gentle, sensual, quite natural
homosexual moment.  A naked guy standing next to his seated, clothed male
friend whose gentle loving touch on his friend's stiff penis was
producing an unimaginable wave of sexual desire.

I hummed softly as his other hand casually moved from around my waist to
caressing my naked buns.  In a slow-motion daze, we stood there the
sexual energy pulsating about us.  My fully hard cock was stiff as steel
as he touched it, with Ronnie simultaneously playing with my butt and
pulling on my cock.  I had hoped this day would come but kept my hopes
under wraps if it did not.  Standing there naked as he played with my
massively hard cock while he was sitting there clothed, it was surprising
I didn't pee cum all over him.  We didn't speak, we just enjoyed the
moment.  A flood of feelings was going through me as I remembered back to
when I first revealed my nakedness and my hard cock to Ronnie.  With me
being nude for him again as he was clothed with his hand tugging on my
hard penis might have been one of the most arousing, most stimulating
moments of my life.

I didn't want it to stop; I just wanted to be nude for him and have him
admire my nakedness, admire my throbbing hard cock and continue fondling
it with my arm around his shoulder.  We looked at each other in a silent
fog of desire, even today I always get hard as stone thinking about that
moment.  Just remembering standing there naked with Ronnie pulling on the
stiffest erection I had ever had still burns into my memory.  After
another eternity I slid onto his lap sitting on him with my arms around
him.  In a flash we were kissing.  As his masculine face and tongue
pressed into mine our hungry passionate kissing released the torrent of
my homosexual desires.  I'm guessing I have always been homosexual;
kissing another man was always incredibly stimulating for me, let alone
presenting myself naked to a man.

Our hungry obsessive kissing, nuzzling and moaning broke the quiet of the
afternoon.  Like an eager loving puppy, I tongued his ear in a huff of
desire. His manly hands played with my hard-naked nipples like I was
nubile young prize.  In the heat of our passion this led me to slide off
Ronnie's lap and fumble opening his pants.  As I finally was able to free
it from the confines of his pants his cock was very hard as my mouth
found it, kissing it, licking it, sniffing it, finally engulfing it in my
mouth, finally sucking his cock.  In a mad frenzy I lathered his penis
with my adoration finally releasing my long pent up desire to have sex
with my friend.  Oblivious to everything but pleasuring his penis, Ronnie
shook me from my sex crazed state pulling on my elbow saying "come on,
silly" as he pulled me up, leading me to his bedroom.  I helped him
disrobe as we then melted naked together into bed kissing hungrily,
nuzzling, moaning, pulling on each other's cocks, frotting and humping
and grinding both of our nice-looking cocks into each other's.  Where as
many of my homosexual encounters of the past were with anonymous partners
and unfulfilling, this romp in bed with Ronnie was about as wonderful of
a sexual connection I had ever had with anyone.  All the build up from
that first time exposing myself to him followed by posing nude for him to
paint me, exploded into a storm of sexual energy as we made love.  My
mouth soon found his penis again as I resumed sucking his cock.  It was a
famished, obsessive cock sucking.

Finally, being naked and hard with him in his bed melted away all my
unrequited longing from that day long ago when I first let him see me
naked as I subconsciously tried to seduce him.  My mouth was glued to his
cock, sucking off my friend as his gentle moans rippled in the quiet
afternoon sunlit bedroom.  Eventually we ended up in a torrid sixty-nine
as he first tasted my cock and I too enjoyed the sensation of his mouth
on my penis.  All we could focus on was the sensation and slurping
sucking sound of simultaneously sucking each other's cock.  This carried
on for the longest time as we faithfully sucked each other's cocks,
licked each other's balls in a steamy cloud of male on male pleasure.
 Coming up for breath, I climbed up into Ronnie's arms forcing my mouth
on his for a hungry passionate kiss, then tonguing his ear and rubbing
face on face in wild, unabated horny sex play.  As I calmed down a bit
lying next to him with my head on his shoulder, we pulled on each other's
cock's registering the sexual sensation reverberating throughout our
beings.  Gathering our senses as our hands fondled and pulled on each
other's cocks the feelings we were experiencing left us in pleasant
shock.

"I've wanted this for a long time." I told Ronnie,  finally blurting out
what I felt in his apartment all those years ago.  "I fucking love being
naked for you," finally able to express in words to him what my actions
had repeatedly silently shown.

"Mmmmm.  Me too," Ronnie simply replied.

It was so natural and unforced to be naked together pulling on each
other's cocks.  Time stood still, only the sensations in our penises, our
bodies, our thoughts vibrated about us.  I couldn't help myself as I slid
down between Ronnie's legs and took his cock back in my mouth.  Bathing
and lathering his hard cock with my tongue he ran his hand through my
hair and hummed "mmmmmmm".  Maybe it was selfish of me to want his cock
so bad, but sucking his cock made me want to pleasure him and that made
me as aroused and horny as I had ever been.  It had been so long since I
had been with another guy, years in fact, and my sexual hunger was
driving me wild.  Everything that led up to this point was making it so
much better with Ronnie than any sex with any guy I had ever had.
 Admittedly I loved sucking cock and it was something that drove my
being; I was a lot gayer than anyone had a clue about, this I was now
admitting to myself.  This was a pleasurable, guilt free, shame free
homosexual encounter, not driven by drugs or drink, this was part of who
I was.  This my first gay encounter since I cleaned many years ago and
the years I had been with Susie.

Ironic too, as my last homosexual encounter from before I had the
hungover confrontation with my boss and cleaned up my life was actually
quite satisfactory and enjoyable.  It was one night I snuck a guy into
this place I was living with a straight roommate.  It was a funky old
apartment and I had the basement to myself and there was a door to a
common laundry and the street.  Right after I let this guy in from the
outside basement door, I got a phone call from Deb.  This was another
irony as we had been apart for quite some time though I always sent out
feelers to her, I never heard back from her.  So right as I sneak a guy
into my room she calls?  Yeah, a little coincidental.  The guy was cool
about it and waited 20 minutes till I finally got off the phone with Deb.
 Then we immediately kissed and disrobed.  After all the unfulfilling,
strange, sometimes forced, sometimes scary anonymous gay encounters I had
done up to this point, this turned out to be one of my best gay hookups
next to my affair with Ronnie.

So back then during this encounter I had with this guy at that old
apartment, it was very sensuous, we kissed and nuzzled, played with each
other's cocks, sucked on each other's cocks till he lay back and I took
him in my mouth.  With steady determination I made love to his cock till
he came in my mouth, I sucked down every bit of cum.  It was the best
blow job I had ever given anyone.  He was cool, handsome and really dug
me, said I was hot.  I was so horny and hard and hadn't cum yet.  This
guy and I just kissed, nuzzled and whispered loving things for quite some
time, he loved my cock and sucked on my cock some more.  Must have been
about an hour of this since I had sucked him off and he was been hard
again as we played with each other.  I put a condom on him and climbed on
top of him and he pretty much slid right in.  We fucked with me on top
kissing him till he came again and I finally came.  Never did get his
phone number or even his name nor ever saw him again though if I had I
know things would have been different in my life.  He would have been a
hot boyfriend and instead of getting myself clean and getting married to
Susie I might have been more inclined to come out as gay.  That encounter
with that guy was on a Thursday night and that Friday, Saturday, Sunday,
Monday was Superbowl weekend and I went on a four-day bender that lead me
to change my life.

So, with it have being so long since I last sucked cock and that time I
remember as being a very good experience, sucking Ronnie's cock was
driving me wild.  With loving determination, I kept at my quest with
Ronnie squirming in pleasure running his hands through my hair.   I kept
at it, if you love sucking cock, the cock can tell and good things will
occur.  I loved it all; sucking cock, kissing Ronnie, being naked with
Ronnie, above all the sensation of finally being able to act upon my gay
desires with a loving partner.  Ronnie responded in kind to the loving
attention I was bestowing upon him as I sucked his cock.  His cock was
big like mine, veiny with a big red bulbous helmet head.   When he was
getting close his body language and sounds emanating from his voice told
me so.  With me sucking so lovingly and diligently on his cock it in turn
ejaculated into my mouth as I hungrily lapped down the squirts of cum.
 Finally, I had succeeded pleasuring my friend in a way I had long only
dreamed about or masturbated about.  Sucking his cock clean like that
after all the build up to that point was so incredible.  I sucked and
licked and kissed and rubbed my face into his cock long after he had cum
before finally climbing back into his arms for an appreciative kiss.  We
both softly said "Wow!" at exactly the same time and chuckled about that.
We were floating.  Needless to say, I was still incredibly hard and we
made out as Ronnie pulled on my cock.  Then laying back, Ronnie
masturbated me as my climax built.  Humping my cock into his hand was
incredible feeling him touch me.  I finally came.  It was a wonderful
ejaculation as my orgasm culminated all the stimulus of everything that
had occurred to this point between me and Ronnie.

We stayed naked together for the longest time being quiet and
contemplating what had just transpired.  For me there was no remorse or
shame about what we did with each other, only tenderness.  Ronnie was
always somewhat of an overly contemplative person so I'm sure a lot of
thoughts maybe some doubts about what had occurred.  After all I was
married and he was dating a girl or two, nothing serious.  Still, he was
cool about things and affectionate to me as I got dressed and ready to
leave.  We looked at the painting again and hugged and kissed tenderly.
 It really was awesome and I told him, pleaded with him that nobody can
see it.

When I got home, I was quite a bit more subdued than the previous times I
came home from posing nude for Ronnie.  Never the less, I masturbated
again before Susie came home from work.  By the time she got home a
little guilt had set in and all through the week I tried to downplay in
my mind what had happened between me and Ronnie.  Still, my homosexual
encounter with Ronnie hung around me all week like a sweet pink cloud.
 When Monday rolled around again, I called him to see how he was doing
and to see if he needed any company.  He said "sure come on over" and I
began to get butterflies about the possibility of...  When I got there,
we hugged and he took me in to see the painting again.  It was every bit
as impressive as I remembered.  We held both hands together, staring into
each other's eyes.  A long hard slow kiss followed and Ronnie led me to
his bedroom.   As we were yet again naked together in his bed, it was not
the same intensity as the last time but it was still absolutely fucking
wonderful to be naked and hard again with Ronnie.  I was all over him
kissing him, playing with his cock, telling him he was awesome.  Again,
it was different, we both knew that , but it was exciting being naked in
bed together.  As we kissed and frotted and played with each other's cock
he did tell me I was beautiful and that he really loved my body, that
made me feel incredible.  We kissed and sucked each other's cocks as we
renewed our lovemaking.  Back in his arms kissing him I pulled on his
cock and knew he had to like what was happening.

I know now that while his body was reacting positively to our romancing,
inside his head he was not entirely certain how to handle the stigma of
having gay sex with a longtime friend.  Regardless, while he was very
passionate and loving in bed with me, he was not nearly as expressive
verbally about it with me as I was.  Even then I was careful not to say
too much to not freak him out but I did not hide how much it turned me on
being his gay lover, actions speak louder than words.  However, when he
slipped and told me "you make me so hard" Ronnie didn't object when I
spread my legs and pressed his nice hard cock at my hole and I told him I
wanted him inside me.  He did get a little lube and started fucking me.
 I was not the most experienced at it but I knew I was bottom and really
wanted his cock in me.  He asked about protection, I told him I was OK
without.  It was fucking awesome to get fucked bareback, I was so aroused
and squirmed and writhed in his arms, I felt like a girl.  I did whisper
in his ear things like "this is so hot" "I love your cock" "please fuck
me" Ronnie needed no encouragement as he fucked me hard and kissed me
passionately.  I was such the feminine partner and writhed, whimpered and
moaned like a girl saying "oh fuck yes" "gawd I love this" and "don't
stop."

Fuck me he did, pounding his cock deep into me as I really did act
feminine and girl like.  It was getting us both off.   I started jacking
myself off as he was fucking me,  I started moaning, rolling my eyes back
in my head and I came many excited blasts of cum all over my stomach.
 That's all it took and he came so hard pumping his seed up into me.
 Collapsing on top of we kissed as he held me and we stayed joined as the
sensation subsided.  As friends he would always say matter of fact
statements that were dry and funny, just the way he would say them.  When
he told me, I was a "great fuck", I said "yeah, I know" in a very similar
manner.  We chuckled over that as he kissed me again before disengaging.
 Laying together snuggled in silence for the longest time Ronnie finally
spoke:

"I'm not gay.  Just want you to know that," he said looking at the
ceiling.  "We are just friends, OK?"

"Hey, I'm not gay either," I lied.  "This just happened between us.  It
was me that seduced you.  We both know where things stand.  I'm married.
 I love Susie.  She and I are best friends.  I don't want to lose her or
hurt her.  I don't want to freak you out or screw up your mind either."
 I paused.  "Know what though? Regardless, this happening with you has
been the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me.  I've never
been this aroused, this horny, this excited or enjoyed sex more than I
have with you.  Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm bi.  I know this is just a
transitory thing between us, we have other things in our lives going on.
 I'm just enjoying the 'here and now' and will deal with everything else
later, I blurted out and grasped his hand. "Wow! that was a mouthful," I
added.

"I know," Ronnie replied simply. "I know."

I got up and peed then returned naked to bed.  Ronnie did the same and we
lay there in silence for a while.  In the quiet sunny afternoon, I laid
my head on his shoulder as we silently contemplated what we had gotten
ourselves into.  We snuggled in silence for quite some time,  then as was
my nature I felt "it" again and lightly stroked my cock, it was hard
again in no time.  Ronnie put his hand on it and took over, slowly
jacking me off.  Regardless of our rationalizing our situation I loved
being naked for him and loved feeling his hand on my cock.  I told him
that, "I fucking love being naked for you, fucking love you touching me."
It was true.  We kissed again and by this time my hand was on his cock.
 We fondled each other's cocks and were both soon hard as stone again.  I
went on:

"Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you silly," Ronnie interrupted.

"That's good because I'm the one who led us here, I'm the one..."

"And I'm here with you like this because I like it too," Ronnie
interrupted again as he gave my cock a squeeze.

"Anyway, I guess I need to tell you I've been with a lot of guys before.
 Remember when I lived in that old apartment on Lincoln Street with Jim?
 And you and I used to play music in the basement before I quit drinking,
before I met Susie?  I'd sneak guys in my room late at night or when Jim
spent the night at his girlfriend's place.  I'm a lot gayer than anyone
knows.  It was kinda obsessive, destructive, impulsive.  Maybe because of
the substance abuse.  But then I did the same thing before and during
with my first wife.  You don't know this but I'm kinda a fag."

"No, you're not! You're just a sweet guy," Ronnie interjected.  We were
both still playing with each other's cocks as we talked.

"No, I really am kinda a fag.  Really.  I wear panties and lingerie and
act like a fag.  People think I'm normal and straight, a quiet, reserved,
respectable guy.  Don't think anyone has any idea that I act like a sissy
fag wearing panties for guys.  I'm kinda a show off too when I'm like
that.  I don't know why I'm like that it's just who I am in the 'closet'.
 Couldn't tell you why I like to wear panties and act gay.  Maybe because
I was sexually abused as a very young boy made me gay, I don't know.  As
for acting feminine in panties I have no idea.  Deb might have done
something to me.  She was so beautiful and sexy, but she was a little
whack too, so many mind games.  Sex with her was fucking heaven.  She
knew she could get me to do anything, she always held me at arm's length,
always put me through a psychological gauntlet before she'd let me screw
her.  If we went out to a bar every guy would stare at her she was so
hot, she knew that, I knew that.  Sometimes in bed she made me wear a
thong.  They weren't girls' underwear but close to it, bright colors,
very thin material.  It was fucking insane how hard they'd make me.  In
some ways I think she enjoyed subtly emasculating me.   After we broke up
and I started drinking heavy I'd buy panties and lingerie to wear for
guys I'd hook up with.  It just felt so natural and exciting to do that.
 It was just who I was inside."  I was giving Ronnie a peek into who I
was and how I live inside my secret life.

I was so hard telling him this as he stroked my cock.  Just revealing all
this to him being there naked stroking each other's cock made us both
very aroused and it made us reconnect on a deeper level wiping away some
of the weirdness about being gay with each other.  We went from "OK it
just happened and we had gay sex again, now what?  This might be
awkward," after he fucked me; to just sensuous feelings of desire as I
took him and kissed him madly pulling on his cock.  He felt it too as we
embraced and kissed in our naked gay abandon.  I started whispering
things in his ear between mad hungry kisses like "you're so hot" "I love
your cock" "I'm such a fag for you" " I love being your girl " and all
these phrases did the trick as he was all over me again, humping his cock
onto me, kissing me back with a hungry fervor.  Soon again my mouth was
on his cock.  I loved sucking cock and being gay with him.

After a while we were both back to jacking each other off.  Eventually
his hand replaced mine on his own cock as I played with his balls and he
knew he wanted to cum.  When he began to moan and ejaculate semen all
over his tummy I watched in amazement.  Quite naturally I reached my face
down taking his cum laden penis in my mouth making him shiver as it made
his tender cock tingle with my warm wet mouth.  Tasting his cum was
lovely and kinky and as I was still so hard my arousal led me to lick up
most of the cum from his cock and belly.  Laying back I began jacking off
so I could cum again too.  Ronnie was sweet too, kissing my neck and
ears, saying nice things like "I'm glad you're my friend",  "you have a
nice cock", "you really are very sexy."  When he told me "I'm not sure
this is right what we are doing with each other, but I've wanted to touch
you back when I first saw your cock," and then kissed me again as I
masturbated even harder and began to cum.  My ejaculation was stunning
and we lay there coming down from our afternoon of sex.

Ronnie sent me off affectionately telling me "let's just chill for a bit
and see what happens."  I told him to just call when he felt like getting
together again.  We both knew the paradigm had shifted and our
relationship had changed.  We were no longer just "buds", we were lovers,
gay lovers at that.  That stigma would always be there, what we did
together could never be undone.  But still for me it was the best gay sex
of my life.  With a libido as strong as mine with an erotic imagination
to match it stuck with me very powerfully.  Yes, there was guilt about
being married to a wonderful wife but the fact that being naked with
Ronnie, kissing him, sucking his cock, taking him inside me was an
experience, an event in my sexuality.   My bad for putting myself in this
position by subtly coming on to Ronnie, literally willing my simmering
closet homosexuality into his life and his bed.  Looking back in the
rear-view mirror I still shudder and get aroused by the four times Ronnie
and I were intimate with each other in the roughly year and a half before
he moved away.

It was a long time till I heard from Ronnie again, maybe four months or
longer.  Pretty much thought I freaked him out.  It would have been
awkward just stopping by at his place to hang out.  There would always be
the stigma of it, since we had sex so intensely those first two times
after I posed for him.  Maybe it was just in my mind but I know if I was
ever over at his house just me and Ronnie, I know I would want to come on
to him, want to get naked with him again.  When I was cleaning up my
life, I still hung on seeing a therapist every so often.  She was really
good, I liked her and how she helped me a great deal.  She was not your
typical clinical therapist; she was a biblical therapist I found in
desperation the day I decided to clean up my life.  Now I am somewhat
spiritual, but she did not try to convert me or anything like that, she
just did what a good therapist does and lets you talk through your
issues.  Initially I did not go her about substance abuse but for sex
addiction.  Amusing also that she was a reformed lesbian.  Now I have
actually been clean for many, many years and initially I was guided by
her away from homosexual thoughts and actions.  What I found was as time
went by and I was not on substances anymore and enjoyed that part of my
life being clean, my homoseual desires never went away, though being
married I generally put them on the shelf.  Till I seduced Ronnie.  I
told my therapist about the time I first exposed my nakedness to Ronnie
and she told me I was subconsciously trying to seduce him for this or
that reason I can't remember exactly what she told me.  Nor can I
remember exactly what she told me about my proclivity for wearing panties
and lingerie during my homosexual encounters.

The time in between my second and third encounter I was coming to grips
that I had an intense homosexual affair with a good friend yet I was
married to a wonderful woman.  It really was a wonderful marriage, much
better than my first marriage, yet I had these gay desires that would not
go away.  It's one thing to masturbate to gay fantasies and gay porn,
quite another to have sex in the flesh with another male.  Thinking I
pretty much freaked out Ronnie,  I tried to not dwell on it but the
powerful nature of my hidden sexuality haunted me.  Try as I might my
fantasies and masturbation were always pretty much about gay sex.   Even
during sex with Susie it would only be through gay fantasies and thoughts
that I would be able to achieve climax, it had been that way for years,
long before my affair with Ronnie.  My desire to cross-dress increased
and rarely a Monday went by when I had the house to myself, that I did
not masturbate wearing panties or lingerie.  If I thought having a gay
sexual encounter freaked out Ronnie before, I could only imagine if he
saw me in panties and lingerie what that might do.

Not sure you could call it obsessed but my vivid imagination in the
sexual fantasy land of my mind always led me to some very gay thoughts
that had really no basis for a reality that would ever exist.  When I
masturbated or had sex with Susie these fantasies took me to some very
wild arousing places with thoughts that I could never tell Susie or even
Ronnie.  Not sure she would like to know that the only way I could climax
inside her was thinking about me having gay sex with another guy.  It had
been like that for many, many years.  These thoughts were so gay and so
forbidden that they caused my erections and ejaculations to be out of
this world incredible.  Yes, these were very, very gay thoughts.
 Thoughts like how exciting it would be to have Ronnie be my boyfriend or
be my husband, and me be his femboy wife.  Just how wonderful and erotic
it would be to be "out" and be his steady male lover and partner.  Always
being able to kiss and hold each other have him see me naked all the time
around the house and in bed.  To be his lover that enjoyed me always
wanting him for sex, always wanting me to suck his cock, having him want
to fuck me as the submissive feminine one in our homosexual relationship.
The thought of traipsing around in panties, lingerie even high heels and
dresses makeup, being naturally feminine and faggy like I always felt
inside.  These are thoughts I could never reveal to anyone yet they drove
my psyche and libido wild.  Even just the thought of being barefoot in
jeans and a tee shirt and being his clingy, gay boyfriend, always wanting
to take off my shirt and be topless for him and open up my jeans so he
could fondle my cock as we kissed.  These thoughts made me so hard I
could barely hold back my ejaculation as I masturbated to all these
fantasies.

I shivered at the thought of him taking me to a gay bar to show me off as
his boyfriend even if we were just in guy clothes.  Thinking about him
taking me to a gay bar fully 'en femme' in drag was another intoxicating
thought.  Or being dressed femme and faggy for Ronnie and a room full of
horny guys.  My kinky sexual imagination always runs wild.  Other things
too, kinky things liked having my nipples pierced to show him how gay I
was for him.  So was the thought of being his chastity lover, Ronnie
locking my cock up in a chastity device and denying me erections.  What a
stimulating fantasy to be in chastity for Ronnie, sucking his cock while
mine is locked in a pink chastity device.  Or having him with his nice
hard cock up my butt with my legs spread and my cock in a chastity device
flopping around as he fucks his boy lover.  Even the thought of Ronnie
showing off my caged penis to other guys or better yet showing my caged
cock off to his ex-girlfriends or ex-wife has led to some massive
ejaculations in my fantasy world.  Not sure why but being in chastity for
another guy has always made me feel as gay as fuck.

I knew I would have to be content with these wild thoughts in the fantasy
world for my secret masturbations and sex fueled longings.  Remembering
getting fucked by Ronnie and fucked by the guy in my apartment that one
time led me to love inserting things up my butt when masturbating; anal
probes, lubed tapered candles, vibrators, dildoes.  Even Susie knew to
make me climax during sex that her fingering my tight hole is what it
would always take to 'trip the trigger'.  Everyone has secrets that they
may never reveal; I was content to be in the closet not wanting to tip
the scales and pursue anymore anonymous gay sex encounters.  Still, the
memory of my affair with Ronnie and the thought of perhaps another
episode always lingered in the back of my mind.  Thinking, yeah, it was
about five months since I last was intimate with Ronnie.  Susie went up
on a Saturday to see her folks; I had to work till after eight pm so I
stayed behind.  On a whim I gave Ronnie a call before leaving work not
knowing how it would be received.  Surprisingly he answered and genuinely
sounded happy to hear from me.

"I was going to give you a call sometime," he told me, though I'm not
sure he really would have.  "Leslie and I broke up but I didn't want you
to think I was only calling to catch you on the rebound," Ronnie said in
the wry, dry manner that was his nature.

He invited me over, said maybe we could watch a movie.  I told him when
I'd be over after I cleaned up from work.   When I got over to Ronnie's
it was just a curt hug and "hi, how ya been."  I had a shoulder bag I
dropped by the couch as Ronnie went into the kitchen.  You could tell
there was a little tension and apprehension in the air.  It had been
quite a while since I had seen him.  So yes, there was a little bit of
"the elephant in the room" based on the last time I had seen him when we
were naked in bed together.  He got himself another beer and me a soda
and we sat on the couch.  Again, it was a little awkward not knowing what
to expect.  It was kinda like when you were with a girl who you had slept
with at one time but hadn't seen her forever and you didn't really know
what was going on in her head.  Would she want to "do it" again or just
play things by ear, that's how I was sensing things.  Ronnie put on a
movie and we did not talk much, little chit chat here and there.  As the
movie played it was on for about a half an hour but it was having a hard
time keeping our interest.  Ronnie started loosening up and was cracking
jokes about the actors in the movie.  After a while he said "this movie
sucks" and clicked the sound off.

"Sorry I'm such a dick tonight," he said looking over at me.  "Guess I'm
a little messed up in the head.  Things with Leslie fell apart and I'm
back to where I always end up.  Then with you coming over it scares me a
little."

I knew what he meant on both accounts.   As long as I had known Ronnie it
seemed he always would get a girlfriend, get intense with her then they
would break up, time after time.  Maybe not as bad as my affairs with Deb
and the other girls but still, it was a noticeable pattern.  As far as me
coming over, unlike me who by now had pretty much accepted what my
sexuality was all about, Ronnie had issues with the stigma of gay sex.

"I can go," I said.

"No, don't go.  I'm okay.  We can be friends."  We were sitting quite far
apart on the couch as he reached over and clasped my hand.  "Stay.  I
don't care what happens."

He got up to use the bathroom as I got up and went to the room he used
for his studio.  Looking around I started sorting through a sheave of
canvases to see where the nude painting of me might be.  When he joined
me in the studio I said "my turn" and went to use the bathroom.  I
fetched my shoulder bag that I had left by the couch and went in the
bathroom.  All the time in the many months since the last time I had been
with Ronnie my sexuality had reverted somewhat to the time before I met
Susie - as in by wearing panties and lingerie made me feel gay as fuck
and I longed to present myself as feminine to a guy again.  In fact, I
nearly posted an ad to find a guy to hook up with but chickened out.
 Just the thought of posting an ad of me being femme for a guy led to a
number of very intense masturbations.  Certain that it might freak Ronnie
out if I dressed like that for him I had never the less put a few items
in the shoulder bag if the opportunity presented itself and I could
muster enough nerve to go through with it.  There in the bathroom after
taking a piss I contemplated doing it.

It's now or never I thought as I started to take off my clothes.  It felt
good getting naked knowing Ronnie was in the other room.  I always liked
being naked anytime I could, but being at Ronnie's house knowing Susie
was out of town for the evening it felt exciting, exciting that I would
show him the side of me I had told him about, the side of me that drove
me mad.  Keeping it simple I had brought over a pair of high heel open
toe strappy sandals, a pair of panties and a Victoria's Secret spaghetti
strap chemise.  The panties were micro fiber side tie string bikini
panties in a pastel aqua blue, they always felt heavenly and made my
little butt look cute.  The chemise was silky and floral in a similar
color of aqua but they were not part of a set.   Rummaging through the
bag I pulled out a bob style dirty blond wig and a tube of hot pink
lipstick.  Guess if I was going to go through with I I'd might as well
play the part and be as femme and faggy as possible.  And faggy I was.
 But faggy or not, I did look kinda hot.  Men who cross-dress for other
men relish the sense of femininity that presenting themselves as a woman
for the purpose of sex brings.  And the scintillating feelings of being
gay, knowing you are gay, showing off your feminine gayness to a
masculine man is incomparable.  Gay men really don't present themselves
as feminine, most are in the masculine attracted to masculine camp.  Not
me.  Flaming feminine fairy type.  When you are this type of married
closet homosexual, getting the rare opportunity to be the "girl" is
priceless.

Positioning the wig and applying a bit of lipstick the transformation
took long not at all.  Showering at home before coming over I shaved
everything; my face, legs, under arms, pubes, balls, ass pussy.
 Something else too;  I painted my toes hot pink.  So rarely did I get
that opportunity, I knew I would have to wear socks around Susie and she
would not even know till I could remove the nail polish at a later time.
 For now, they added a wonderful touch, the whole 9 yards.  As I slipped
out of the bathroom there was a rug on the floor leading to the studio so
the sound of the high heels would not immediately betray my ruse.
 Slowing walking towards the studio I called out "did you find it?"
 Ronnie knew what I meant.  "Yes, it's here," he called back.  He was
behind the easel when the click clack of the high heels on the hardwood
floor announced my entry and revealed to him something surely, surely, he
was not expecting.  Ronnie's wide-eyed stare as he sat at the easel
confirmed this as I slowly, non challant-ly walked up beside him, placing
my arm on his shoulder mimicking the time I walked up naked that day he
finished the painting.  And like that day his arm went around my waist as
we again admired the painting.

"I still love it," I said as my penis began tenting in my panties.

"I'm amazed.  Never would have thought I'd do something like this,"
Ronnie commented as we continued to admire the painting.  "Or this," he
said as he reached his hand to touch my penis growing firm in the silky
panties.

I shuddered.  The touch of his hand on my penis as he rubbed it around
made the déjà vu of the moment every bit as wonderful as the first time.
 I was smitten.  With my penis now out of the panties and his hand
pulling along the length of my erection stroking and jacking on it, clear
pre cum was oozing out of the helmet head like a spring seeping from the
rocks.  Looking gay, feeling gay and feminine, having my friend toy with
my penis, I was floating on a pink cloud of sexual bliss.  It had been so
long; I had masturbated so many times thinking about the first two times
we had done this and never knowing if it might happen again that I was
content to live in the moment and let Ronnie continue to play with my
incredibly erect hard penis.  His other hand slid down from my waist and
began caressing my pantie clad bottom.  I loved being played with in this
manner, I loved being the center of someone's sexual attention.  My knees
were getting weak from the sensation and my mind was getting foggy.
 Quite naturally I slid onto his lap with my arms around his neck.
 Looking intently into each other's eyes Ronnie told me:

"You were right." I knew what he meant.

"That I'm a fag?" I replied.

"Yup," Ronnie stated in his "matter of fact" manner.  "But you're kinda
hot!"

With that the dam burst and a hungry kiss renewed the passion we had
previously known together.  As we kissed like long separated illicit
lovers (which we were) Ronnie played with my hard nipples through the
silky chemise.  He kinda toyed a little with my wig, inspecting it when I
whispered in as feminine sounding voice as possible "see, this is not
gay, I'm a girl."

"No, it's not gay," Ronnie said rhetorically in a fake deep voice and we
chuckled.

It was so gay.  We both knew that.  We didn't care at this point; we were
both so aroused.  Getting off his lap I pulled him up, we stood together
my arms around his neck like I was a sexy vamp. He kissed the side of my
face, tongued my ear and kissed the nape of my neck as I pawed at his
hard cock through his pants.  When his big hand slid inside my cute blue
panties and grabbed a handful of ass, I almost lost it.  Thrusting his
tongue down my throat, his middle finger found its way between my butt
cheeks fingering my tight hole as he toyed with my ass.  I could've
ridden his finger as long as he wanted to poke me with it.  He still had
beer on his breath and I'm thinking he was a little looser about things
than normal as he seemed aroused and manly towards me.  I began to
unbutton his shirt seductively and it slid off as I then went for the
prize and began unfastening his belt.  As I pulled down the zipper and
reached in for his cock Ronnie had reached both his hands under my silky
blue floral chemise and pressed each thumb hard against my nipples and
began playing with my "titties."  Barely able to free his cock before he
forced his mouth on mine, his sexual desire was lit up.  Breaking the
kiss, he watched as I mashed our two hard penises together producing an
unimaginable level of arousal, frotting hard tacky cock on hard tacky
cock.  Maybe because he had been drinking but it seemed he was much more
into our love play than less than an hour earlier when the atmosphere was
tense and I was doubting if we were even going have sex.

Sliding down to my knees, pulling his pants down, I mashed my face
against his hard, hairy cock, the scent of penis drenching my senses.  My
homosexual obsession took over as I greedily began sucking Ronnie's cock
again, knowing this was an opportunity not to be missed.  All married
closet homosexuals know this, that these opportunities are often few and
far between so the fervor and hunger to suck cock drives you to a
frenzied level of attentiveness to the cock in your mouth.  It tasted so
fucking good; I had missed sucking his cock.  While I had masturbated
many times thinking about his cock from the last time that I was able to
till now, this was many times better than thinking about it and
"wanking".  In a fog I voraciously sucked Ronnie's cock till he pulled me
up and snapped me out of my cock infused daze.

"Come here, you," he told me as we kissed again then he pulled his pants
up and led me to his bedroom.

There was lamp on next to his bed cast a warm glow as he climbed naked
into bed with me.  I had shed the chemise and the wig (the lipstick long
since kissed away or slobbered on to Ronnie's cock).  His big hand toyed
with my rock-hard cock in the sexy panties as we kissed and moaned, I
still had the high heels on, I felt so sexy and slutty.   It surprised me
when he flipped me around and we ended up in a horny sixty-nine.  His
mouth bathed my cock and balls with his warm wet mouth as this drove me
to feverishly resuming sucking his cock.  This reciprocal mouth on cock,
cock in mouth went on for many long wonderful minutes till we ended up
back in each other's arms kissing like rabid dogs and pulling on each
other's cocks.  Ronnie humped his cock into my hand as I jacked him off.
 Ronnie let out an exasperated moan as he finally came, squirting cum all
over his belly and my hand.   With the high heels flat on the bed and my
knees up and legs spread like the naughty slut I really was, Ronnie
returned the favor as his hand caressed my hard cock.  It felt so good to
get a hand job, a man's hand on your cock never fails to please.  Moaning
and writhing, telling Ronnie "don't stop" I started fingering my tight
hole with some of his cum as he masturbated me.  Ronnie kissed the side
of my face and told me "this is so hot" when finally, after a long while
I ejaculated too, cumming and moaning and sated.  We were both coated in
cum on our bellies as Ronnie turned out the lamp and we snuggled under
the covers.

In the morning as the sun was barely coming up Ronnie got up to us the
bathroom.  When he got back into bed, he was all over me; pawing my cock
kissing my neck and face placing my hand on his cock.  It was then I came
to the realization that for all my homosexual longings, all my gay
encounters I had never spent the night with another guy.  Never.  Always
just sex and go.  This was special, this was heaven.  That Ronnie was so
eager and horny for me, that surprised me too.  Really it had been me
that always seemed to lead him on, the one that had seduced him.  Now he
was taking the lead, his manly urges taking over.  Here I was in his bed
naked, no panties no lingerie, just a naked guy with my male friend being
frisky towards me.  It still made me feel feminine and faggy.  I fucking
loved it when a guy wanted my body.  He was really agitated and horny.
 Ronnie got up on all fours and pressed his nice hard cock into my face.
 Licking, kissing and sniffing his cock it found its way into my mouth as
I ravishingly suckled his manhood.  I sucked his glorious hard cock for
the longest time till he slid back into me, kissing and tonguing me, just
really possessed with lust towards me as we writhed around naked
together.  Really quite unexpected to be honest that he was so aroused
and all over me, cock on cock humping and agitated with horniness and
kissing me.  Despite the fact Ronnie had issues with the stigma that he
didn't want to be gay, he was still a guy, guys are always horny and
having a naked friend in bed with him made sure his sexual urges and
libido pretty much quashed any trepidation about us having sex.

Shuddering in desire, I rolled over on my side as Ronnie's front was to
my back and he humped his cock along my ass.  He was kissing the back of
my neck and tonguing my ear as I felt his hard cock against my butt.
Grasping his cock, I spread my legs and poked it at my tight hole.  I put
some spit on my hand and rubbed it on my hole as he began to hump up into
me.  Still could not believe how into sex he was as his cock slid into my
ass and he started butt fucking me from behind like I was a girl.  It was
so fucking hot getting fucked by Ronnie, I know if he really was my
boyfriend, he'd be fucking me all the time.

"Fuck!," he exasperated as he humped his cock up my butt.

"Yes," I gasped back. I fucking loved it. I did.  So rare anymore to have
the opportunity to take cock.

In passionate, determined humping Ronnie thrust his cock up into me as we
kissed and moaned.  All the fantasizing and masturbating about this did
not even come close to the reality of getting fucked; I always was a
bottom boy, this ran deep inside in my sexual being.  This was so gay.
 Sleeping with another guy now in his bed with him screwing me in the
morning.  I fucking loved it.  I always have loved sex of any kind, women
are beautiful and sexy, but gay sex is always the hottest, horniest, most
exciting sex there is.  Gay sex always makes me so hard.  And with Ronnie
humping his hard cock up my tight ass, my cock was throbbing as his cock
fucked my ass.  It was dirty, nasty, naughty obscene guy on guy sex.
 Ronnie reached around from behind and grasped my cock as he humped my
butt.  With his hand jacking my cock and him fucking me I was delirious
with arousal, moaning and whining as his nice cock was pushing me over
the edge.  When I started cumming in his hand and he heard my orgasmic
moans he really started pounding my ass and finally came inside me as he
tongued and bit my ear.  He held me tight as the sun was now up but we
snuggled, pulled the covers over us as we fell back asleep.  Just before
we did fall back asleep, I whispered:

"I hope you find a wife who is as good a fuck as me," to which he pinched
my ass hard and held me tight.

I really must have really dozed off as when I did awaken the sun was
shining bright.  Ronnie was not in bed and I could smell bacon and
coffee.  There was robe on the back of a chair by the bed.  I put it on
and found my socks and put them on, I thought it might be a little too
gay to show off my pink toes at this point.  Sauntering into the kitchen
in the robe, Ronnie was in a robe also and greeted me cheerfully:

"....'morning, sunshine. Coffee?"

He rummaged around for a cup and poured me some coffee.  Thanking him I
watched as he was cooking breakfast.  From behind I reached both arms
around his waist, hugging him, laying my head on his shoulder.  It was a
pretty gay thing to do, and Ronnie jokingly told me to "stop it."  We ate
breakfast then ended up on the couch with more coffee, me on one end and
Ronnie on the other.  We sat there talking in our robes and our
conversation evolved into a deep discussion not unlike the one we had
long ago in his apartment when I first exposed my hard penis to Ronnie
and subconsciously tried to seduce him.  We talked quite a while on the
lazy, sunny Sunday morning.  I was a bit more open than he was about
certain matters and asked him what he thought about that one morning when
I exposed my hard cock to him.  He told me he really did not know what to
think about it other than it was very arousing and that it made him hard
at the time, which I was not aware of.

"Like this," Ronnie smiled as he opened his robe flashing his now hard
cock that our conversation on the matter seemed to arouse. "Gotta pee
with all this coffee.  Might take a while though to get my fella to calm
down," he joked as he got up to pee.

As he walked by me on the couch, I grabbed the corner of his robe to stop
him inadvertently opening his robe exposing his hard cock.  Reaching my
face in I took his cock in my mouth lathering it wet till he told me
teasingly "stop! Stop it!. I have to pee."

When he returned to his spot on the couch I got up and said "my turn," as
I went to the bathroom to pee as well.  It took a bit to get the erection
I also had to subside enough so I could pee.  Sitting there peeing, I
felt my arousal revive as I was finishing.  Knowing my opportunities were
few and far between and I knew Susie would not be home till early
evening.  My conniving sense of sexual possibilities lead my thoughts to
wanting sex with Ronnie again, especially right after us talking about
the first time I exposed my cock to him.  With my appetite for my sexual
kink being fem for a guy I knew this was an opportunity to take advantage
of or regret not doing so as I shed the robe and pulled off my socks.  My
pink toes made me feel feminine and horny as I went to the bedroom where
my high heels, panties and wig were, discarded during the night.  My bag
was still in the bathroom when I went back in for a quick transformation.
 Putting on the wig and applying a bit of lipstick I then pulled on the
panties and high heels.  It was exhilarating to be like this and I put
the robe back on and went back to the living room where Ronnie was back
on the couch.  Sashaying like a showgirl I walked back and forth in front
of Ronnie before opening my robe flashing him my panties, then teasingly
closing it again.

Wide eyed, Ronnie watched as I performed my routine a couple more times,
sashaying and flashing him.  Stopping in front of him standing between
his legs as he sat on the couch his robe had come open and I could see
his cock, not fully erect but thickening.  As I stood there, in my mind I
was hoping he would make the move.  He did.  Ronnie reached out and
opened my robe as I then held it open at my hips.  Seems as if the moment
his hand touched my penis in the panties it was already hard as stone.
 Ronnie fondled my penis as it sprung over the top of my aqua blue
panties.  He had to be enjoying playing with my cock as his own cock was
hard and he was pulling on it too.  Like a vixen shedding her mink coat,
I slid the robe off my shoulders as it fell to a pile on the floor.  I
stood there dolled up in my wig and lipstick in the high heels and
panties as Ronnie continued playing with my cock.  Needless to say, it
was more than a little gay being like that for him.  And needless to say,
I was very, very hard as he toyed with my cock as I presented myself for
him like that.  When Ronnie lurched forward and took my cock in his mouth
I should not have been surprised.  It's not like I purposely was trying
to temp him, but being able to act out my closet homosexuality with him
made it sweet as honey.  It might be months or longer to have the
opportunity to be like this with another guy.

Ronnie's mouth felt heavenly on my cock.  Despite the trepidation I knew
Ronnie had mentioned before about us having gay sex, he still was into it
as evidenced by the way he was sucking my cock.  Sex is sex.  Once you've
gotten past the forbidden/taboo/this is wrong feelings it's fucking
amazing having sex with another person.  It might even be more exciting
because of the taboo connotations.  It sure was for me.  He was sucking
my cock grabbing a handful of ass in each hand, there was no mistaking
that he was into it.  When Ronnie momentarily pulled his mouth off my
cock, I slid side saddle onto his lap, my arms around his neck.  In an
instant we were kissing hungrily and moaning in desire.  I wiggled my
pink toes playfully as he played with my hard nipples.  My lipstick had
mostly been kissed off but the seductive taste lingered.  Sliding off
Ronnie's lap between his legs I took his cock into my mouth.  Again, it's
pretty gay to be in a wig, high heels and panties sucking your friend's
cock. It was also fucking exciting as hell.  My obsessive closet
homosexuality was going full throttle.  Just then, the phone rang.  I
took Ronnie's cock out of my mouth as we listened to it ring.  We were
both stationary as it rang and I could tell he was just going to let it
ring as I held his hard cock close to my face.  He had one of those
'landlines' that was connected to an answering machine and if you didn't
answer, it would record a message that you could hear as the person
leaves their message:

"Hi Ronnie!  This is Kelly.  Wondering if you want to do something
sometime.  Call me when you can. Bye."

After Kelly finished her message Ronnie's cock was right back in my
mouth.  Hope she sucks cock as good as I do, I wanted to tell him.
 Ronnie had both hands holding my head down as I throated and gagged on
his cock.  This was so nasty with his hard hairy cock in my mouth,
kneeling on the floor between his legs.  It was obscene.  Ronnie naked
sitting on the couch with his robe open and his erect cock in my mouth
and I was in skimpy aqua blue panties, high heels and a wig.  Any
lipstick had long since been slobbered onto his cock.  For all the
trepidation Ronnie had processing his homosexual involvement with me I
knew he had to enjoy it too as I most certainly heard him gasp "Oh. Fuck.
Yes."  Gagging a bit as Ronnie unknowingly was being somewhat too
forceful, I was able to pull off bleary eyed gasping for breath, spit and
saliva dripping off my chin.  Using this pause I wiped my face on his
robe and climbed on top of him possessed by the ache in my penis.
 Forcing my mouth on his, we kissed madly before I collapsed next to him
on the couch.  Sitting there together, we jacked on our cocks in an
erection fueled daze, both of us breathing heavily.  As we jacked off, we
would take turns reaching over pulling on each other's cocks.  This went
on for a while; jacking off then the luscious feeling of the other
person's hand playing with your cock.  When Ronnie started to moan and
began ejaculating over himself, I watched in amazement as I was fiercely
masturbating myself.  Seeing Ronnie cum, I knew I was close and reached
my face down to his still erect cock tasting his cock and cum.  My own
climax was soon to follow with the scent of his cock and cum on my face I
knelt over him in frenzied masturbation soon ejaculating warm squirts of
cum all over my friend's tummy and cum sticky penis.

In a mixture of both post orgasmic bliss and awkward acknowledgement of
what we had just done together, Ronnie asked if we should shower.  It was
awkward too the two of us in his old tub and shower but for me it was
also a thrill showering with my male friend.  My acknowledgement to
myself of my degree of homosexuality was much greater than Ronnie's so
showering with him, soaping his penis as he soaped mine was quite natural
and thrilling, even with our now flaccid penises.  The way my toes were
pink showing there in the shower, very much accentuated my gayness.
 Experiencing an unanticipated and unplanned evening of sex and then sex
twice the following day with Ronnie was in a way a milestone for me.
 Sleeping with him then early morning sex and sex again after breakfast
confirmed that my sexuality was anything but straight.  Inside of me it
was a balancing act; maintain what was still a wonderful marriage to a
wonderful woman and acknowledge to myself that I am more homosexual than
not.  Choosing the path of not rocking the boat I continued to only
fantasize about gay sex during masturbation or sex with Susie and not
seek out a male partner though the lure of doing that crossed my mind
many times.

As for Ronnie I figured it was best to leave him alone knowing he would
probably be deeply involved with another girl and that while I know he
enjoyed having sex with me, it was not something he could ever come to
grips with.  More than likely our homosexual encounters would be
something he would try compartmentalize and file as far back in his mind
as he could.   And I was right.  Kelly and Ronnie were dating and dating
serious with Ronnie spending much of his free time with her and over at
her place.  What was not surprising as well was it was only about four or
five months since I had heard from him yet they were going to move out of
state together.   He invited me over, he wanted me to meet Kelly and
Kelly wanted to meet me before they moved to Missouri.  She had heard a
lot about me but I am certain it was nothing to do with the secret I
shared with Ronnie.  He and I had played music together a great deal
before I met Susie and he always told me that I was the one who helped
him break out of his shell and be a better musician.  Susie and I were
invited over but she declined as she was pretty shy and was happy to be a
homebody.

Kelly and Ronnie were partying a bit when I got there and Kelly seemed
like one of those mildly manipulative girls.  Ronnie and I were in the
living room playing music with me on a chair facing the couch and Ronnie
and Kelly on the couch.  She was enjoying it at first but I think she
gets bored easily, especially if the activity is one where she is not the
center of attention.  After a while she got up when we were playing
music, maybe to get another beer and look around.  She must have been in
Ronnie's art studio because Ronnie got this look on his face and was
trying to wave her off.

"This is you, isn't it?" she said as she walked in with the nude painting
of me. "Ronnie, this is really good."

Our playing music came to a halt as I put my guitar away.  Ronnie got up
and put the painting back in the sheaves of paintings.  We sat on the
couch with Kelly in the middle and Ronnie and Kelly smoked a joint and
did some shots, they were getting pretty lit.  Kelly was a redhead spark
plug and kind of ornery.   As we sat there, she started teasing a bit,
asking questions about the nude painting of me.

"So, Ronnie's seen you naked.  What about you?" Kelly looked right at me.
"Have you seen him naked?" Kelly teased.  "I bet you have!"

"Kelly!" Ronnie exclaimed.

"Well?" Has he?" Kelly asked, not leaving it alone.

"Kelly!" Ronnie said again.

"Well, have you?" Kelly said looking me straight in the eyes.

"No-oooh," I said, perhaps a bit too emphatically, trying to keep a
straight face, trying not to let on one way or another.

"Liar!  I bet you have," she smirked at me.  "Guys never admit it but
they like to play with each other when girls are not around."

"Kelly, come on," Ronnie pleaded unconvincingly.

"I was at a bar with my boyfriend once and this guy kept hitting on me.
 Even with my boyfriend right there he wouldn't leave it alone.  We were
both amused that he kept hitting on me.  Finally, I told him he could
fuck me if he sucked Jimmy's cock first.  He said 'OK let's go,'.  Jimmy
just smiled and said "I'm game,".  Guess when you been drinking, you'll
do anything.  He followed us to my place and sure enough, he sucked on
Jimmy's cock and then they took turns fucking me.  I admit it was kinda
hot.  We all slept together.  In morning I put their hands on each
other's cock to see what would happen.  I told them it was okay and
pushed their cocks together.  Guys always want to see two girls together,
so it was kind of hot seeing them play with each other," she said,
looking in turn at each of us.  "I bet you guys would if I asked you."

"I'm game," I said with a straight face.

"Ronnie?" Kelly asked.

"Kelly no, stop! Come on," Ronnie blurted out.

"You're no fun," Kelly told him.  I then whispered something in her ear.

"You're so bad!" Kelly squealed quite loudly as she slapped my leg.
 "Okay.  Do it, then you can," she urged.

Leaning over to Ronnie, she whispered something in his ear.  By this
time, she was rubbing at his crotch through his jeans. Kelly pushed me to
the floor in front of Ronnie who again let out a feeble "Kelly!".  In
front of Ronnie I had a hand on each of his knees as Kelly started
unfastening his jeans.  I reached up to assist as she began unbuttoning
his shirt.  Giving in to the situation Ronnie pawed at her titties
through her top as I had freed his cock and was playing with it making it
hard.  Stopping for a moment I peeled off my shirt and continued playing
with Ronnie's cock, Kelly was stroking him too.

"Do it.  I want to see, " Kelly commanded, looking straight me. "Do it."

I pulled Ronnie's jeans down, took off his shoes and finished taking off
his pants. Kelly was kissing Ronnie and playing with his cock as he sat
on the couch naked.  With my shirt already off, the exhibitionist in me
told me to take off my jeans and shoes too, which I proceeded to do.
 Kelly looked at me and peeled off her top and unsnapped her bra.  Her
breasts were milky white freckled feminine beauties.  She kept her jeans
on and stared at me as I stood there naked with a fully erect penis.  She
lightly pulled her hand across my penis and muttered "Wow!"  Needless to
say, that made my cock harder than ever.

"Okay, let's see," Kelly said tugging me down to the floor in front of
Ronnie.

Tentatively, yet so turned on by what was happening, I pulled on Ronnie's
cock, looked back at Kelly who nodded slightly with a wry smile, then
instinctively in one motion sank my mouth over his cock.  I was so hard
doing this in front of a girl.  Kelly stared in disbelief as I hungrily
bobbed up and down on Ronnie's cock, slurping and sucking noises breaking
the quiet.  Just the confident way I took his cock in my mouth, the way I
started sucking his cock without hesitation or any fear, the way I
started sucking his cock like I had done it before had to confirm Kelly's
suspicions.

"Does your wife know?  She doesn't know what she's missing, this is so
hot," Kelly remarked as I continued sucking Ronnie's cock, shaking my
head back and forth trying best to reply that no, my wife does not know I
suck cock.

No, my wife had no inkling how much I loved sucking cock or that I was
such a flaming closet homosexual.  The fact that I was sucking Ronnie's
cock in front of his girlfriend made it all the more exciting.  By now
Ronnie had given up any pretense of resistance and was kissing Kelly and
playing with her soft naked titties as I continued pleasuring him with my
mouth.  As they broke their kiss sitting on the couch, I was still on the
floor in front of Ronnie sucking his cock, stroking my own.  I couldn't
hide my enthusiasm for what I was doing and was bobbing and slurping on
his cock, just enjoying the moment.  Even going so far as throating his
cock all the way down and only gagging a little had to be somewhat of a
giveaway.

"You've done this before, I can tell," Kelly exclaimed.  "I know you
have.  Ronnie, you have too, haven't you?" she went on.  "I want to see."

Ronnie let out a feeble "Kelly."

"No. It's your turn.  I want to see," she insisted as she pulled me up by
the elbow.

As I stood in front of them, my cock was so fucking hard sticking
straight out.  Kelly lifted Ronnie's hand to my cock.  A big drop of
precum glistened on the tip of my penis but it was soon smeared on his
hand as he fondled my cock in front of Kelly.

"Come on, Hun.  I want to see.  It's your turn," Kelly insisted as she
pushed Ronnie forward from his shoulder.

Slowly Ronnie took my cock in his mouth and tentatively began sucking my
cock.  Truth being that I was much gayer than him, more demonstrative and
loved expressing my sexuality in this, Ronnie sucking my cock at the
urging of his girlfriend was pretty damn hot.  Kelly was beaming as she
sat on the edge of the couch observing the proceedings.  We looked
intently at each other as I took the liberty to reach down and fondle her
titties as Ronnie seemed dazed by the whole affair.  Can't even begin to
say how turned I was feeling her beautiful little titties with Ronnie's
mouth over my cock.  It was one of those moments that make you do a
double take in your head; it was just so erotic.  With both of them
sitting on the couch as I stood in front of Ronnie, Kelly was wide eyed
sitting stroking his cock as he sucked mine.  Still, Ronnie sucked my
cock in a very perfunctory manner, like he was only doing it because
Kelly willed it, not because sucking cock was a pleasure like it was with
me.  If Kelly wasn't watching and pushing this to happen, perhaps he
would not have been as self-conscious and been more enthusiastic about
sucking my cock; he was the times when we were alone together.   I'm
thinking Ronnie always enjoyed me sucking his cock more than him sucking
me.  Regardless it was still very hot having him suck my cock in front of
Kelly.

When Kelly stood up, she looked fucking hot.  Blazing red hair, milky
white perfect little breasts with a sprinkling of freckles.  Faded blue
jeans.  She wasn't wearing a belt and the jeans were unsnapped and
halfway unzipped, her white flowered cotton panties showing a little.
 Chicks topless in jeans were always one of my biggest turn ons.  She was
having fun with what was going on.  Ronnie backed off my cock as she
stood up and she pulled him up. All three of us were standing.  My cock
was hard and wet from Ronnie's saliva.  His cock was hard too, it was
just such a kinky, erotic scene when Kelly took my hand and put it on
Ronnie's cock and his on mine.  A few tugs and I'm sure I would have cum
in his hand.  She pushed us towards each other at the shoulders, I knew
what she wanted to see; Ronnie was hesitant.

"Come on, I want to see, just let me see," Kelly implored as she pushed
us gently together.  "Come on."

With Kelly watching and Ronnie and I holding each other's cocks I would
have done anything she asked as she let out a sweet pleading "please, for
me."  Ronnie relented his hesitation and we did it, we kissed each other.
 It wasn't a particularly passionate kiss, but I thought it was hot, as
did my dick, and I enjoyed it very much.  Our making out in front of her
did not last very long and when it broke and we looked at her she pulled
us down on either side of us on the couch.  She rubbed our cocks in
either hand; needless to say, I was very aroused, taking the liberty to
play with her naked titties again.  I got up on my knees, my cock was at
her chest and face level; Ronnie did likewise.  I was hoping she'd put it
in her mouth but as I inched it close to her face she turned towards
Ronnie's cock, put my hand on his cock.  It was a very erotic scene as I
pulled on Ronnie's cock and she put his hand on mine as we hovered over
her.  Kelly was certainly turned on as she undid her jeans a bit more and
was rubbing herself through her panties.   I was so aroused with Ronnie
and I pulling on each other's cocks kneeling over her I could not help
but reach down and fondle her titties as she continued to masturbate
herself through her panties.  With her free hand she would reach up and
play with our balls hanging over her.  Quite unable to control myself I
just had to hump my hard cock over Kelly's soft little milky white
breasts, she's the one who started all this.  When I had whispered
something in her ear and she squealed and slapped my leg this is what I
told her I wanted to do, to titty fuck her.

As my cock grazed against her titty closest to me Kelly pressed her hand
on my penis, pressing it into her titty.  Ronnie had maneuvered his cock
to her face as she relented and took his cock into her mouth.  Her soft
titty felt so good on my cock but when she took her mouth off of Ronnie's
cock I pulled mine up pointing it in here face.  Kelly took it in her
mouth for a few frantic sucks but I could tell she was afraid that I
would cum in her mouth.  Kelly threw her head back on the couch and
continued masturbating herself through her panties with one hand and
rubbing her titties with the other.  Ronnie and I pulled on each other's
cocks for a few horny tugs before masturbating our own cocks over the
sight of Kelly getting herself off.  Jacking fiercely on my cock Kelly
sensed I was close and took my cock in her hand, not to assist me getting
off but to prevent me from giving her a facial.  As my ejaculation began
she pulled my hand and cock near her titties as I began to squirt cum on
them.  She held my spent cum covered cock as she frantically masturbated
herself, closing her eyes and starting to tremble.  Her sweet little
titties were messy with my cum as she came and Ronnie was jacking off
madly over her as well.  In the moments after she had masturbated herself
to climax Ronnie began to cum as Kelly put her hand on his cock directing
his discharge onto her titties and away from her face.  Playfully, after
we had both ejaculated cum all over her chest, Kelly took a cock in each
hand and played with them amusedly.

"Ronnie, get a towel.  I'm a mess," Kelly told him.  And she was.

Our little sexual escapade was just that.  I would have loved to have
done more physically with Kelly or even sucked Ronnie off in front of her
but she was in charge and Ronnie was hesitant to let loose.  After Ronnie
moved away it was quite a while until I had another homosexual encounter,
not quite a year, but close.  For a lot of reasons, I did not want to
pursue anonymous encounters with strangers.  I did post an ad giving info
on what I was looking for and the nature of my sexual desires, basically
looking for another married man who was like me so we could cavort our
gay inclinations.  By posting a few "glamour pics" of me in drag it was
amazing how many men were interested in me.  Lots.  Make that lots and
lots of guys, married guys, they wanted a femme, faggy boyfriend on the
side.   Guess I was kinda lucky and hooked up with Steve.  We could not
get together very often, maybe twice, three times a year for the most
part, but it was fucking wonderful being femme for a guy, being his
little faggy sex toy.  I loved having a boyfriend, having the same guy
who knew me, appreciated me, wanted me, wanted me to be femme and faggy
for him, service his cock and fulfill his needs in ways his wife
couldn't.  Like the way I could suck Steve's cock after traipsing around
in a dress, high heels and panties (wig and makeup too) for him.  Or take
his cock up my tight ass pussy.  He was cool and funny too, great sense
of humor and he'd buy me things too; dresses, lingerie.  He was a great
kisser too.  A few times it would just be for a 'quickie', I'd meet him
at his place he'd be totally naked when he'd let me in and I'd swoon over
his hairy manly body and suck him off as he sat in a big armchair.  I'd
still be in dressed guy mode, happy to service my boyfriend.  But the
best times always were when I could be his "girl".  We'd watch gay porn
together.  He really loved to fuck me.  You know I loved it too.

Thinking it might have been about three or four years since Ronnie and
Kelly moved away.  I happened to see a friend request on Facebook.  It
was Ronnie.  Of course, I accepted.  When I went to his page, I could not
believe what I saw.  There were pictures of Ronnie holding hands and
hugging another guy.  Browsing deeper on his page there were all kinds of
pictures of Ronnie and a much younger boyish looking guy named Kevin.
They were married!  I had lost track of Ronnie and certainly never in my
wildest dreams would have ever imagined this.  Not Ronnie.  I was the one
that was really gay, albeit still closeted and married to a wonderful
wife.  While we had a few good sexual encounters together, he seemed to
always fight it, fight the fact that gay sex felt so good.  Ronnie always
held onto his quest of a solid relationship with the perfect woman.

When I was able find Ronnie on FB chat, needless to say I had a few
questions:

"Ronnie? is that really you," I asked.  "You might have some explaining
to do."

"Hi Bobby! So good to hear from you!  Yeah, guessing not what you
expected."

"Do you want to fill me in?" I asked.

"Probably not a surprise that things didn't work out with Kelly.  I have
a knack for picking a winner, don't I?  It was good for a while then the
nag from hell showed up.  I kept a low profile and tried not to let it
bother me.  Kelly's best friend, Bethany, her little brother was always
very friendly to me.  Won't go into detail but when he came on to me and
we ended up in bed together it was the most exciting thing that ever
happened."

"Oh really?" I teased trying to infer our first time together was pretty
exciting.

"Kevin was very cool, very expressive, being with him made me feel alive
again. We hid it for the longest time and it just kept getting better and
better.  It felt good to be desired and not being put down all the time.
 I know this will sound strange but he seemed more feminine than a girl
and treated me like a king.  Bethany found out and the shit hit the fan
with Kelly. She did not take it too well.  I said 'what the fuck' and
Kevin and I moved in together.  After about six months I could not
believe how good things were going.  I remembered what you told me about
you and Susie, that if things are going good in a relationship wait 2
years before deciding if that's the one and if you feel the same way, the
same love after two years, then go ahead and seek commitment.  So here I
am."

"I'm flabbergasted.  Very happy for you also," I replied still in
disbelief.

"You have a part in this too Bobby.  You showed me the way that it was
okay even though I fought it.  Things with Kevin were wonderful because
of our times together.  Something clicked in me that told me it was okay
to be like this, to be gay in my own way.  Now I don't care about the
stigma.  Just live in the moment."

"Wow!" I responded as we signed off.

Ronnie joked about me coming to visit him, while of course I would have
loved to, not sure it was a good idea.  Not sure it would have been a
good idea to tell Susie either that he was gay and married to a guy with
her knowing Ronnie and I had spent time together.  My mind was racing and
I was hard thinking about all the times I was intimate with Ronnie,
thinking about how I loved being nude for him and the time I let him see
my hard cock when I subconsciously tried to seduce him all those years
ago.  As I lay naked on my bed stroking my cock, all that had transpired
between us was a pleasant memory that still fueled some very powerful
masturbations.  Fiercely I jacked off again with the memory of when I
first exposed myself to Ronnie. I came in stunning fashion thinking about
all the times I had sex with him.  As I came I especially remembered when
I stood naked as he pulled on my cock as we gazed at the newly finished
painting and the time flashing him in the robe wearing panties and high
heels.  My subconscious seduction of Ronnie all those years ago took us
both down a path we could not have envisioned at the time.

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Author contact if you like/dislike the story:
jakladd@hotmail.com