Date: Wed, 13 Jul 2011 21:57:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: jim ford <sojourn1950@yahoo.com>
Subject: tr's tale chapter seven

This story is fiction. The characters are adults in adult situations.
Warnings: The only person you can ever hope to truly know is yourself.
Trust no one; use condoms. If you are not of legal age or in a jurisdiction
in which this document is illegal, go way. This is my story. Please respect
the copyright. Sojourn1950@yahoo.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doc went out back and got the grill started and cleaned off his patio
furniture.  I had Bill chop some vegetables for kabobs. I knew Bill had
something he wanted to tell me by several false starts. After the third,
"Tar, uh, I, uh". I washed my hands turned to face him and waited until he
looked up from the chopping block.

"Bill, I find it hard to believe that a while ago I had my dick up your ass
and now you act shy and hesitate to tell my something. What is it that is
so hard for you to tell me?"

"Tar, it's not that it's hard to tell you. I am not sure I should say
anything. I mean considering my position, I don't have the right to say
what I think I should say. Besides, I don't want to make anybody
uncomfortable." Bill looked like a little boy trying to confess to putting
bubble gum in some little girl's hair, like he was facing the end of the
world. I turned back to the stove where I was frying bacon for a wilted
salad. Bill apparently had decided what he was going to say to me, "Tar, I
uh, I..." Well, maybe not.

The front door opened and closed then David called out, "Anybody home?"

I responded with a "Back here in the kitchen."

I looked up from my bacon to see David holding two six packs of a
micro-brewery beer. He was smiling his warmhearted smile that said he was
glad to see me. I reached out to take the beer as Bill turned around from
the chopping block. When David saw Bill, he became very pale and let go
both six packs. They crashed onto the tile floor and a couple of bottles
exploded.

David recovered enough to say, "You are T. R.'s friend?" It came out as a
confused, kind of shocked question. I am no Julie, but it didn't take a
crystal ball to see that these guys knew each other or something about each
other and whatever it was made them both a little uncomfortable.

David was still welded to the spot. Bill grabbed a towel and started
mopping up the beer while I moved the cartons to the sink. I took one
bottle, opened it. Once the foam stopped I wiped the bottle and handed it
to David. He took it without acknowledging me and gulped almost half of the
bottle. I gave one to Bill and I opened one for myself.

"Somebody want to fill me in? Obviously you two know each other."

Bill looked from me to David then back to me realizing that David was not
about to answer, Bill said, "Tar, David and I met online about six months
ago. He was curious and I was horny. We met three times."

David started gulping air like a fish out of water. He seemed to remember
the beer in his hand, turned it up and drained it.

Bill continued, "The third time at his house, his wife came back early from
a business trip. We were in bed when she came into the bedroom. She mumbled
something then turned around and walked out. I got dressed and left. I
called him later that day and then again a couple of days later. He never
answered and never returned my calls"

I know I'm no prude. I mean I think gay men should be more tolerant than
most. I wasn't judging David or Bill for that matter. I mean I had
questions for both and it certainly put mine and Bill's relationship in a
questionable state. I realized some point after Bill finished talking that
my mouth was hanging open. I sputtered as my eyes shifted from Bill to
David, "I, I, uh, Da..." David jerked his head up at the sound of his
name. His face was alive with emotion. When I said his eyes were billboards
for his emotions I was right. He was anxious, fearful, worried and
something else I couldn't quite read then his expression settled on
sadness. David sat his empty beer bottle on the counter, turned and walked
back toward the front door.

I would like to say that I handled the situation rather well, all things
considered. Up to that point maybe I did. Then I remembered Bill had asked
who was in the motel parking lot.

"Bill, you knew it was David in the motel parking lot." It wasn't a
question. The question was what did my talking to David in the motel
parking lot have to do with our relationship now? Was Bill using me to get
together with David?

"Tar, it's not what you think. When I saw you and David talking, I figured
you two had hooked up at the motel. I wasn't stalking David. There are a
few places we have to show a presence. Most are left to locals and county,
some we cover. That night it was you I wanted to meet. I had already given
up on David and I getting together. I figured I would just be an unpleasant
reminder to him. I guess just now showed I'm right."

While he was talking Bill moved to stand in front of me. His arms pulled me
into his hard body. "Tar, it's you I want to get close to. I think you
should go talk to David. I didn't intend to tell you about me and
David. It's not my place to judge anyone about being in the closet. He and
I happened before I ever even saw you. If he hadn't freaked and dropped the
beer, I think it would have been a while if I ever told you. Can you accept
that... if you need time I can leave now."

There are times when I hate the fact that I am a grown man. Sometimes I
want to be childish and show my ass and get mad for no good reason. There
are times when I have found myself childlike in my enthusiasm. You know
those times when you're doing some simple thing and realize you are having
a really great time. This was neither of those times. This was one of those
times were you shift into a clinical mode and try to inject some logic into
an emotionally charged situation. Logic was battling emotion. I wanted to
be pissed at Bill and I wanted to be even angrier with David.

I looked into Bill's eyes and the clean, clear blue told me he had no
interest in David. His eyes held only concern for me. "Okay, I'll go talk
to David. You just need to know that next time I get you naked and alone I
won't play mister nice guy. I am gonna remind you that you shouldn't
hesitate to tell my things you think I should know.

Bill stepped back and washed my body with a skeptical look, "Tar, you
hiding ropes and whips and chains under your bed? You can't leave any
permanent marks. I do have to shower sometimes with the guys after a
workout. I got a macho image to uphold."

I arched an eyebrow and said, "We'll see. Now finish cooking that bacon
boy, while I go talk a man out of his closet." I grabbed two more beers
from the sink and headed out to find David.

As I moved into the hallway, Bill called out, "Just don't talk him out of
his pants." Bill seemed to be almost too comfortable with this situation. I
am not into rough sex. Still, I have to admit that playing rough with Bill
had been fun and the thought that I now had an excuse to play rough had my
cock swelling.

 I found David sitting in a porch swing on the side porch, his feet on the
floor moving the swing back and forth. His head was bent so he didn't see
me approach. David was mumbling to himself, "I could have told him, I
should have told him..."

I don't like it when people sneak up on me, so I announced my approach,
"David, you ok?"

David's head jerked up at the sound. His eyes quickly searched my face. I
offered him a beer. He took it, opened it and long swig. "T. R. I'm
sorry. I should have told you when you came out to me." I could sense he
wasn't expecting a response. I moved to lean against the porch rail. I
opened my beer and sipped as he continued, "Bill wasn't my first. I wanted
to in high school. I fooled around some in college. I met Susan my senior
year in undergrad school. She was something." At this a smile played across
his face and vanished. "She seemed to know what she wanted and for whatever
reason she wanted me. I got the idea I could change who I was, so, I let
her have me." David stood and walked to the rail beside me. "It was ok, for
a while. I enjoyed the sex and there was a long time there that I didn't
think about being with a man. I suppose the demands of Vet school kind
overshadowed all my other problems. It wasn't until we moved here and I
developed a routine. When things settled down into what became an ordinary
life, I began feeling those old desires. I had hoped they would go away
after I got married. Bill told you how that worked out. Susan was actually
a lot more understanding that Bill knew. She actually wanted to try and
work things out. It was I who wanted the divorce. I told Doc the day after
Susan caught us. He was understanding and supportive. He is the one who
made me think about the divorce. He didn't push the idea; he just made me
think about being honest with myself. I am sorry I wasn't honest with
you. I guess I didn't trust myself to be alone with you in a motel room."

"Ahem." We both looked toward the noise and saw Doc standing at the
corner. "You boys get some things straightened out?" Looking at me he said,
"T. R. it wasn't my place to tell you about David. I don't apologize for
that." An enigmatic smile came to his face and he said, "Don't go thinking
you were hired to be a role model for David. You were hired for you
skills. Not because of, nor in spite of the fact that you are gay. I don't
believe orientation should ever be considered unless you want to have sex
with someone. Then it's real important." Doc chuckled at his own
joke. "Boys, I figure we can get back to fixing supper. I'm so hungry my
belly button is hugging my backbone." With that he turned and headed back
into the house.

An uncomfortable silence fell. I supposed it was my turn to talk. "David, I
am not upset about you and Bill. I just wish you had told me sooner. I
was... I mean I.... Well, I was attracted to you from the moment we met and
well, I guess I can relax now and work on just being friends, okay?" I had
been watching David half hoping he would say something. I just wasn't sure
what I wanted him to say.

His reply was, "Sure." accompanied by a shrug. We entered the kitchen to
find Doc taking up the bacon and Bill on the patio setting the table. The
marinated steaks were on the counter waiting to be taken to the grill. Bill
came back in to grab more tableware and seeing David was the only one not
gainfully employed suggested, "Dave how about slapping those steaks on the
grill." To which both Doc and I almost shouted in unison, "No!"

Everyone laughed and David blushed. He explained to Bill all about his
culinary skills or the lack thereof. Bill told us his mother had said that
if God had not given us microwaves and take out her only son would have
starved long ago.

Doc offered that in his youth there were no microwaves and "take out" was
what the Dentist did to your teeth or you did with a girl. I couldn't help
myself, I said, "I don't know Doc, even with my limited experience I know
there are other things straight guys do with girls." That comment went over
like a lead balloon. I admit it lacked conceptually, and perhaps the target
demographic presented a challenge. But the delivery was spot on. So why did
it bomb like a loud, smelly fart at a funeral. Some people just don't have
a sense of humor.

Doc stepped to the fridge and asked, "Anybody for a beer while I'm
fetching? Handing the beers around, Doc said, "T. R., I thought it was
funny."

David groaned, "Damn Doc, you don't have to suck up. We got reinforcements,
he ain't going nowhere. If he tries to leave town Trooper Bill here will
have his ass in the back seat of his cruiser. Course someone's gonna have
to come by and let Bill out of the back, cause if T. R.'s fine ass is back
there you know Bill will be too." Now, why the hell did that get a laugh
all around? Ok, they got a sense of humor, but it's screwed up.

It occurred to me that the joking was the way old friends might kid each
other. I wondered how we seemed to be so close so quickly. Looking around
the kitchen, I decided there must be something about Doc. When he was
around, everyone was more relaxed. The only time he wasn't was when he was
talking about Jed. I must have drifted off because I suddenly became aware
of them calling my name. I had been tearing up the mustard greens and the
romaine lettuce, having already chopped the radishes and green onions.  I
reheated the bacon grease and add the vinegar, sugar and water. By now the
steaks were ready, the asparagus had been grilled and brush with soy sauce
and the twice backed potatoes... well had been twice baked. The guys were
at the table; I brought out the dressing and poured it over the greens, the
sizzle was impressive.

I will say the meal was a big hit. Who could complain? Everyone helped so
no one could really complain, even David helped by brushing the asparagus.

At the end of the meal when everyone had been sated, Bill insisted he and
David clean up. They hauled the dishes into the kitchen while Doc and I sat
at the table. "T. R. that was a fantastic dinner. You can tell everyone
enjoyed themselves."

Doc continued, "I don't want you to take this as patronizing, just as a
friend. I like Bill; I suspect he is a good man. Whatever was between him
and David doesn't seem to be an issue for either of them. How do you feel
about it?"

I wasn't sure if Doc knew about Bill and David, but I figured he must know
something. "Doc, what happened before I met Bill and David is done. It is
how we get along now that counts."

Doc smiled at my attempt to not "out" David. "Look son, David told me
shortly after it happened. He was concerned there might be some fallout
that would reflect poorly on the clinic."

"T. R., I came in this afternoon earlier than you boys saw me. Since both
your vehicles were here and your door was closed, I assumed you were
getting, uh, better acquainted. That's alright, just use protection. I told
you before if you want to have an overnight guest that's perfectly alright.
I think that there has to be a limit of one at a time."

I was insulted. I held my tongue but I didn't like it. Seems Doc thinks all
gay men are sluts. I stared across the yard and bit my lower lip so I
didn't piss off my boss, my landlord and a friend....

Doc started laughing. I took some comfort in his laugh, it sounded like a
bad imitation of a Canadian goose. He honked. He saw I had found no humor
in his calling me a slut. "It's not what you think. I am not saying you're
a slut. I am letting you know that David finds you attractive. He would
stay the night if you asked. He already likes Bill sexually, you...well
it's a little more than sexual."

I was confused.  First he calls me a slut, then I'm not, then David is and
David likes me? "What makes you think David is attracted to me?"

Doc smiled stroked his chin in a contemplative gesture. "Well, as soon as
he could, he called me and asked why we didn't get a picture faxed to us
cause you were, "drop dead gorgeous". I could tell you that his mouth drops
open when he watches you walk away. Of course if you're wearing a lab coat
he just stares, there is no drooling. He finds any number of excuses to get
near you.  If you walk into the room his face lights up like a spotlight. I
figure those are pretty good indicators. I tell you this so you won't go
hurting him unknowingly. I like both of you boys, this private stuff you
can settle it yourselves. Just keep it out of the clinic. T. R., I told you
this so you wouldn't offhandedly hurt David. You should understand that
both those young men are very much, uh, infatuated with you. If you
encourage or allow those feelings to grow in both, someone is going to be
heartbroken."

I really felt like I needed to get away. Not from Doc, or Bill, or David. I
needed to get away from this life that seemed to be rushing at me with no
letup. I feel like, unless I'm asleep, something important or significant
is happening almost every minute. I would like to go to work, come home,
and have a drink. Maybe talk to Doc about some patient or my dreams for the
future or the fucking weather. "Honey, I'm home. What's for dinner?"
Suddenly sounds very appealing....

Fuck, I need to get some control. Maybe I should ask Bill to give me some
space, to back off. He would think it was so I could go after David. David
would probably think the same thing. Then if I didn't go after David he
would be hurt and Bill would already have been hurt....  I'm damned if I do
and damned if I don't. So the answer is obvious, just do what I feel is
right. Make no promises I can't keep. Someone is going to get hurt, no
matter what happens and there is no guarantee it won't be me.

"T. R., you alright?" When I mentally rejoined the real world Bill was
nudging my shoulder while Doc and David looked on without expression.

With my usual repartee I demonstrated the keen wit for which I am renown,
"Huh?" Maybe everybody only loves me for my wit and charm.

"Bill was asking if we were going to provide beer. I explained that we do
this sort of thing about once a quarter. We have not had any problem in the
past, as we have insisted that anyone who drinks must have a designated
driver." I suddenly remembered David's smoky gray eyes. When I looked I
found them already staring into mine, he smiled guiltily and turned to look
at Doc.  I almost turned my attention back to Doc but I glanced at Bill to
find he was scowling at David who seemed oblivious to Bill. Doc continued,
"Juanita had a sister killed by a drunk driver, she brings bracelets to
match each drinker with his or her designated driver. She would make a fine
prison warden. What do you think?"

Iwas trying to figure out why Bill would be so upset with David, a guy who
apparently he'd had sex with at least three times. I hadn't heard much of
what Doc had said but I heard the silence and realized that again they were
waiting for me to say something....I racked my brain and quickly put
together what Doc had been saying. I am not one to judge and to be put on
the spot like this, just didn't seem right. Especially since this was
coming from Doc. I had to question his judgment. "Doc, Juanita seems like a
real nice person. She's great with the patients, caregivers, children. Do
you really think she should be in prison? What has she done? How many DUI's
does she have?"

Ok, I could tell by the looks I was getting that I'd said the wrong thing
again. Doc looked at me as though I were a specimen he was trying to
identify. David looked as though I needed intensive analysis
STAT. Bill...Bill just looked bemused. I looked back to Doc and whatever
look he had was now wiped away by a smile that broadened into a chuckle and
then into a honking laugh that shortly had tears streaming down his face
while he repeatedly slapped the table. Of course Bill and David joined in
the Hee Hawing. Jackasses!

I excused myself, got up and left the three of them guffawing their
collective asses off. I walked around the side of the house and kept
walking until I couldn't hear them anymore. I wasn't even thinking, I just
stuck my hands in my pockets and kept walking. I got to the road and
without thinking turned in the direction of my morning run. I wasn't really
pissed at the guys for laughing at me. I suppose it would have been funny
to me too, if I knew what was wrong with my response. I was still thinking
about Bill and David. The way David looked at me was just the way Doc
described. Bill didn't like that look at all. The truth was that Bill had
no right to react to the way any man looked at me. I am not sure any man
would ever have that right. I am not a possession.

I heard my name being called and looked back to see Bill jogging to catch
up. I was surprised to see how far I had walked down the road. I turned and
started to walk toward him. When he caught up he was breathing hard. He was
gasping for breath, "Damn, you are a hard man to catch and even harder to
hold onto."

I couldn't help but smile. He was bent over with his hands on his knees
trying to catch his breath. I pushed him hard enough that he almost lost
his balance. "Hey, I'm almost dying here and you want to push me into an
early grave."

"Bullshit, and you better not use that phony heavy breathing act around
your office. They probably are already looking for a pervert caller and
could get you with voice recognition software."

Bill straightened up and got a serious look in his eyes, "Tar, I got a
feeling that Doc said something to you that got you to thinking. I saw how
David was looking at you and I didn't like it. I have no right to like or
not like how any man looks at you. You don't belong to me and never
will. When you choose to spend time with me, I know I am a very lucky
man. Tar, I'm not stupid. I know that David likes you and you like David,
some. You both are vets and you have a lot more in common with him. I just
hope you will give me and you a chance."

We had not started back. We stood looking into each other's eyes for the
longest time. Only when I heard a vehicle stop alongside us did we break
eye contact. "Well, Timothy Reed Boudreaux, as I live and breathe. You know
you are one great kisser. I wound up jerking off before I left the parking
lot. I'm hoping you'll find some time this weekend and have that dinner we
talked about and maybe, well...you got my number and of course you can find
my house. I'll catch you later." Without another word or waiting for a
response he just drove on."

When I turned to look at Bill I could see that he was a little unsure if he
wanted to give "him and me a chance." He stuffed his hands into his pockets
and headed back to the house. Before he could get out of reach, I stepped
toward him and pulled him around and wrapped my arms around him and kissed
him. At first he didn't respond. When I felt him pushing my arms away I let
go and stepped back. This time he pulled me to him and kissed me
deeply. His tongue was hot and probing. Each place it touched burned like a
brand. Bill was marking his territory. I broke the kiss and whispered in
his ear, "Straight Trooper wanna spend the night with his cowboy and get
roped and branded?" I don't know if it was something I said or my hot
breath in his ear, but his body trembled in response.


If you emailed since chapter six was posted and I didn't respond a glich
caused me to loose a lot of emails. Also some responses have come back that
marked my email as spam. I have received suggestions about who does what to
whom... those are fun and in fact some of the suggestions have been
used... except the one about the horse.... nuff said? Lol.

Larry has decided to edit my efforts. Stuart the my Aussie editor and
mentor is in the midst of writing his own historical tome, I certainly wish
him the best of everything. He helped me more than he knows. Larry is cute
and cuddly, but tries to slip stuff by me.