Date: Sat, 3 Nov 2018 21:30:47 +0100 (CET)
From: jacoblion@tutanota.com
Subject: A Neglected Boy  Chapter 28 Interrupt

To all my readers Just a note about me and "A Neglected Boy" . . . . Will
continue in a day or two . . . Jacob

. . . . . Besides writing on Nifty Archive I also joined GBT for two
reasons . . .  1. . .  To promote my story on Nifty Archive, A Neglected
Boy, and this story is a way for me to try to work through my own emotional
questions of my sexuality. I don't really want to be gay, but coming to
terms with the reality that I am gay is emotionally draining at times.  The
fact that I seem to be drawn to younger guys like 18 vs 23 or 24 -- 30
scares me as well.  When we are at a cycle competition or event it is very
obvious that I look at the younger guys.  . . . .  The 2nd reason to join
GBT was that I thought there were chat rooms where you could talk to real
people.  I think I was very naive and having grown up in a somewhat
protected environment makes it worse.  So a few years ago when I was
"boyquest15" I got hurt and it did sour me on GBT.  So really when I
re-joined it was to promote the story and what I have found is that instead
of GBT getting better it is much worse with many more perverts and people
always asking to trade photos or videos and I know what they want.  I am
going to stay around on GBT but will only allow some photos on my wall.
Mostly I will post my own selections oh handsome well dressed young men.

. . . . . I have completely cleaned my site and re-posted a few of my
favorite photos. These photos are import to me because of how they show
what handsome and sexy boys really are. If the photo shows a very handsome
boy then it allows the viewer to use their imagination to see what is under
the nice clothing and not "Because they are slutty porn."  I'm gay but no
one knows but my BF and our very close friends.  The guys we hang with look
very much like the photos I post on my site.

. . . . In some respects writing this was a little difficult for me
especially the part where I am telling you I don't want to be gay but am
facing the fact that I am. The first time I was kissed, really kissed I was
disgusted and felt dirty.  Now I love kissing but sometimes I feel ashamed
after, mostly when it happens like at the park. I hope you can understand
some of my feelings; it is just so hard sometimes to be me.

Have a great weekend,

Jacob