Date: Mon, 13 Jun 2011 14:45:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: Bottom Boy <subbottomboy70@yahoo.com>
Subject: Awakenings

This story contains graphic descriptions of sexual acts between adults and
minors. If it is illegal for you to read it in your jurisdiction then
please do not do so.

The story is copyright and comments should be addressed to
subbottomboy70@yahoo.com

The following story is based upon my own experiences.  The events are
depicted as accurately as I can remember them.  I changed the names of
those involved and some minor details to avoid anyone putting a name or
place to true events.  My stories depict some sexual activities that may be
offensive to some people, some are even offensive to me.  So be warned, but
they are my experiences and I accept them for what they are.  I do not
condone nor practice sex with minors, nor should you.  These events
happened to me and I accept it and can appreciate it for what it was, but
in no way do I condone it.

	In public life I appear typically masculine.  I'm an officer in the
military, I like to fish and hunt, and I provide a safe and stable home for
my family.  I am well respected by my friends and family and I have
successfully lead men and women in combat.  This is not an act; it is truly
who I am.  But there are other aspects of my psyche that only exist in
private.

	In contrast to how I conduct myself in public life, in the bedroom
and in my fantasies I am sexually submissive.  I'm not the type of
submissive who likes to be tied up, spanked, or humiliated but rather I
liked to be used for the pleasure of others.  I experience sexual
gratification when others use me to get themselves off.  I'm sure
psychologists would say that this is a result of my sexual development, but
regardless of why, I've accepted it as who I am.  I've even come to
appreciate my early sexual experiences and use them to fuel my own
fantasies.  Here's how it all started.

	His name was Warren although everyone called him Moose.  He was in
his mid-fifties and was a rather large man.  He had a rotund belly, not
blubbery, but it looked like he swallowed a beach ball.  He was a single,
middle-class, blue-collar guy who was very jovial and loved kids.  He
attended all the youth baseball events and was a favorite of the local
boys.  You could tell when Moose was in the stands because he would bellow
out a big "MOOOOOOSE!" whenever any of the boys made a great play or got a
good hit.  Every boy knew that if you heard his bellow after a play that
they had just done well.

	 He always had snacks and sodas for the boys who stuck around the
field after the game and he would lavish praise on those that had done
well.  He even took some of the lucky few out to lunch or took them to
watch the high school team play games in the stadium.  At those games he
was always surrounded by a group of young boys who would join him in
bellowing out a big "MOOOOOSE!" when our team did well.  All the boys
wanted to be part of Moose's gang.  Most parents thought that he was a
little bit eccentric, but the general attitude was that he just loved kids
and 'adopted' the ball players because he didn't have kids of his own.
During my eleventh year I learned that there was more to it than that.

	I was a good ball player.  I played the infield and had a pretty
strong arm, but my real strength was with the bat.  I could "go yard" and I
led our team in home runs.  But I was also very shy and since my parents
weren't involved in the league and did not attend any of the games I was
left out of most traditional, post-game activities.  Although I took pride
in my on-field abilities I longed for the recognition and praise that some
of the other boys got from parents and coaches.  But my abilities did catch
the attention of Moose.

	After one game in which I did particularly well I was too excited
to go home so I stuck around to watch the next game.  The rest of my team
had left but I had a friend who was playing in the current game so I sat on
small hill away from the bleachers to watch the game and cheer on my
friend.  During the third inning one of the boys crushed the ball and sent
it flying over the fence.  From behind me I heard a thunderous "MOOOOOSE"
and when I looked over my shoulder I realized that Moose had moved his
lawn-chair and was sitting behind me.

	He said, "That boy can hit almost as well as you."

	I was speechless.  Moose recognized me!  My face flushed red in
embarrassment and all I could do was mutter a timid, "Yeah' in response.
He then offered me an ice cold Mountain Dew from his cooler saying it would
help take the edge of the heat.  I accepted the offer and sat down next to
him to watch the rest of the game.  I was very nervous because Moose was
such an icon of youth baseball and I didn't want him to think I was
weird. I thought if he accepted me then I would be among the "in" crowd of
the baseball scene.  We watched the rest of the game together and by the
end of it I was joining him in bellowing out his famous call during all the
great plays.  I was in baseball nirvana.

	 At the end of the game Moose asked if my friend would like a
Mountain Dew so I called down and asked Geoff to come up.  Moose poured
praises on both of us telling us how impressed he was with our ball
playing.  I swelled with pride when I realized that most of the praise was
directed towards me.  Moose asked us if we wanted to go to McDonald's for
lunch and we both agreed.  Neither of our parents were at the game and we
weren't really expected home until dinner (life was different in the
1980's) so we threw our bikes in the back of his truck and went to lunch.

	During lunch Moose told us about his baseball card collection,
giving us the highlights of what was really an impressive collection.  He
said he had over a thousand cards that include Mickey Mantle, Hank Aaron,
and Lou Brock.  It made my shoebox of cards seem insignificant.  He said we
could bring our cards over to his house and compare collections and maybe
even make a few trades.  Geoff and I agreed to come over to his house on
Saturday.  We would bring our cards and Moose said he would make some hot
dogs on the grill and we could watch the Cubs game while we compared
collections.

	That Saturday Geoff came over to my house and we gathered up our
cards and road our bikes across town to Moose's house.  It was a beautiful
summer day and we were both excited to be invited to the house of such a
local icon.  We were kings of the world.

	Moose's card collection was everything he said it was.  He had a
small office in his home that he dedicated to baseball memorabilia.  The
walls were lined with pictures of famous players and Cubs pennants.  In the
corner he had a draftsman's table with a big magnifying glass attached to
it so he could study his cards in detail.  His cards were kept in a cabinet
that was designed to be used as a library card-catalog that he bought when
the local library was remolded.  It was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

	After the Cub's game was over and the hot dogs were eaten Moose
said that he had a couple of boxes of cards that he would be willing to
trade.  We were eager to see what he had to offer.  He said that he was
going to clean up the grill but we were free to go pick out the cards that
we wanted.  He said the cards were located in a cabinet in his office and
that we could help ourselves.  We both ran to office and to the treasures
that awaited us.  What we found was a different kind of treasure all
together, one that would open my eyes to a much broader world.

	When we opened the cabinet we found three boxes of baseball cards,
but it wasn't the cards that caught our attention.  Along with the cards
there were stacks and stacks of magazines.  I had seen a Playboy before and
experienced the thrill of seeing a naked woman, but what we found in that
cabinet went way beyond what Playboy depicted.  The magazines in the
cabinet contained hard-core porn of every variety.  Geoff and I looked at
each other with fear and embarrassment in our eyes.  We figured we would
get in big trouble if Moose caught us looking at them.  After quickly
paging through one or two we quickly put them back and closed the cabinet
doors.  We were at a loss for what to do.  At that moment Moose came in and
asked if we found the cards.  We both started stammering, trying to find a
way out of the situation without letting Moose know what we found.  He went
over to the cabinet and when he opened the door he acted surprised.

	He said, "I forget these were in here.  Is this why you boys are
acting so strange?"

	We both nodded our heads in shame and embarrassment, expecting to
get kicked out of his house for seeing things that were clearly meant for
adults.  He picked one off the shelf and paged through it.  He asked us if
we had ever seen pornography before.  We both lied and shook our heads no.
He said it was perfectly natural for boys our age to be curious about women
and sex.  He said magazines like the ones in the cabinet were a great way
for us to learn about sex and that it was important that boys our age know
about such things.  He said that he would let us look at them but that we
couldn't tell anyone.  He said that it was illegal for us to look because
we were underage.  We could get in trouble, even sent to juvenile detention
and he could go to jail.  But if we promised not to tell anyone, even our
friends, we could look all we wanted.  He said that it would really help us
and that we would know more about sex than anyone else our age.  It might
even help us get girlfriends.  At this point we figured that it was almost
our duty to learn as much as possible from these magazines.  We were only
looking for the educational benefit after all.

	The idea of trading baseball cards was completely forgotten.  Moose
went to finish cleaning up and Geoff and I were left to explore the world
of graphic porn on our own.  The first magazine I picked up was a Hustler.
Unlike the Playboys that I had seen before, Hustler showed it all.  Women
had their legs spread with their pussies on display. I realized that my
little dickie responded.  After a couple minutes my dick was throbbing and
every movement made it rub against my underwear.  I was nearly in pain and
squirming uncomfortably in my chair.  Geoff was in the same predicament and
being a little bolder than me he said so.

	"This is giving me a hard-on." He adjusted his crotch and said, "I
sure would like to do this to Annie Jones,"

	She was the cutest girl in the sixth grade and I had a crush on her
myself.  I was embarrassed but agreed.  Throughout the remainder of the
afternoon we explored the magazines.  I saw sex of every kind.  Moose had
all the traditional porn such as Playboy, Hustler, and Penthouse but he
also had hard core stuff depicting actual sex between men and women.  There
were also others showing sex between two women and sex between two men.
There were even some that showed girls that had dicks and boys who dressed
up as girls.  These fascinated me the most.  I poured over one magazine in
particular that showed smooth young boys in girl's underwear.  I had no
idea that such things were possible.  The panties look so smooth and silky
and the boy's dicks looked so hard and swollen, my dick was feeling the
same way.  The boys in the magazines were being treated like they were
girls by older men.  The men were touching the boy's dicks and kissing
their nipples.  Some were even putting their fingers in the boy's butts.
This was all very new to me but its effects on me were very intense.

	Moose came in and asked how we were doing and he asked me which one
I was looking at.  I tried to hide the one showing the boys with panties
but he noticed it.  He looked at me knowingly, patted my head and said, "I
like that one too."

	By this time it was getting to be late afternoon and it was time
for Geoff and me to be heading home.  We were both a little disappointed
and when Moose said we could spend the night we both said ok.  Moose said
that we had to call our parents and ask permission.  My mom wanted to talk
to Moose before she said yes and I heard Moose tell my mom that he was
going to set up a tent in the back yard for me and Geoff to have a
camp-out.  He promised to check on us from time to time and make sure that
we were doing alright.  My mom agreed and told me to be good and not get
into trouble.  Geoff called his mom and Moose gave her the same story with
the same result.

	Moose took us out to his garage to get the tent so we could set it
up in the back yard.  We were able to find the tent but we couldn't find
the bag with the poles.  Moose seemed to be disappointed but said that we
could just spend the night in the house.  He cheered us up by saying we
could trade baseball cards or maybe look at the magazines again.  Geoff and
I decided to look at the magazines.

	We spent the next two hours torturing our small pre-teen dicks
thumbing through page after page of sex.  It was a virtual pornacopia. But
all good things must come to an end and bedtime arrived.  Moose said that
since he only had one bed, one of us would have to sleep on the couch and
one of us could sleep in the bed with him.  Since Geoff was a little
shorter than me Moose said that he should take the couch.  I was a little
nervous about sharing the bed since I didn't have any PJs and would have to
sleep in my underwear.  I told Moose I didn't have any PJs and he said that
since it was warm in the house we could both sleep in just our underwear to
keep cool.  He said it was ok to sleep that way and that sometimes when it
was really hot he even slept naked to keep cool.  I was still a little
nervous but it I was able to rationalize it by saying it was just to keep
cool.

	Moose set up the couch for Geoff while I stripped to my underwear
and climbed into Moose's bed.  Moose came in a few minutes later and went
into the bathroom to get ready for bed.  When he came out he was wearing
just his boxer shorts.  This was the first time I had seen a grown man this
undressed.  As I said he was rather large.  His arms and shoulders were
muscular from a life of manual labor.  His belly was large but it was
taught like a drum.  His chest was a little saggy, it almost looked like he
had small boobs, and it was covered in thick gray/black hair.

	He turned out the light and crawled into bed.  He rolled onto his
side facing me and said, "Good night little man."  He then closed his eyes
and went to sleep.  I continued to lay on back staring at the ceiling.  I
was still feeling the effects of all the porn I had viewed and my dick was
throbbing.  I could hear Moose breathing and smell his aftershave; I think
it was old spice.  It wasn't unpleasant and was somehow comforting lying
there.  If only my dick wasn't throbbing.  Lying there in just my underwear
wasn't helping.  I wanted to rub myself to seek some relief but I was
afraid that Moose would notice. So with visions of satin panties and naked
women dancing in my head I fell asleep.

	I remember dreaming of naked women and boys in panties and the
feeling of my dick straining against my underwear.  At some point during
the night I dreamt that I was wearing panties and one of the men from the
magazine was touching me "down there".  It was strange and exotic and the
feelings in my little dickie were getting stronger and stronger.  I was
aching for some kind of release although I had no idea of what that release
would be.  The feelings intensified and eventually got so strong that it
woke me up.  I woke up lying on my back with my legs partly spread.  After
first I didn't know where I was. As I started to come to my senses I
remembered I was in Moose's bed and immediately I felt a heavy weight on my
groin and something touching my dickie.  It took me several moments to
realize what was happening.  As the realization hit me it was such a
foreign concept that I could not accept it.  I lay there frozen as I
realized that Moose was stroking my privates.  He was slowly sliding my
foreskin, (I'm uncircumcised) up and down over the head of my dick. I was
horrified!  Yet my dick was harder than it had ever been in my life.  I
wanted him to stop, I was telling myself that I should jump out of bed and
run out of the house. But I was petrified with fear.

	Something else was also going on.  There was a small voice in my
head that wanted him to continue, to stroke it harder and faster.  I wanted
to kick off my underwear and give him full access to my young dicklet.
Images of the boys in panties kept flashing through my mind.  I was caught
in a whirlwind; "Stop!" A voice inside my head would scream, "Harder!
Faster!" another voice would beg.  Through it all I lay there, trying to
act like I was asleep; hoping Moose wouldn't know that I was a wake. It
seemed to go on for hours, my little dick straining to do something (I
still was unable to cum).  After awhile, the horror of the situation
started to fade.  I was past the point of running but I was still
determined to act like I was sleeping.  Oh, I wanted him to go faster!  I
needed him to go faster!  But he remained slow and steady.
Up...down....squeeze, up...down...squeeze; just enough to keep me hard as
iron, not enough to take me beyond; to somewhere I wanted to go.

	Eventually Moose fell asleep, his hand still on my dick.  My dick
still hard, it was exquisite torture.  Eventually I too succumbed to sleep.
My remaining dreams were tortured dreams of sexual frustration.  I woke in
the morning on my side facing away from Moose.  His arm was over my body
with his hand on my belly.  He had pulled me in tight against him and I
could feel his dick pressed against my bottom.  I don't remember if he was
hard (he probably was) but I remember having the desire to rub my bottom
against him.  Again I was torn.  Do I act like I'm awake or just lay there
and pretend to sleep?  I was scared and horrified because I realized that
what happened the night before wasn't a dream.  But laying there in his
arms made me feel safe in a strange way.  I could feel his big belly on
back and his hand was hot on my belly.  He would sometimes move it up and
down, often grazing my hard dickie through my underwear.  I was mad with
desire and paralyzed with fear.

	After about half-an-hour he rolled onto his back and began to stir.
A few minutes later he said, "Hey little man, time to get up."

	I acted like he woke me up and stretched my arms, faking a yawn.
He asked me how I slept and I said weakly, "good."

	We got up and got dressed.  He went into the bathroom to shower,
telling me to go get Geoff up and instructing me to get us both some cereal
for breakfast.  I was afraid that Geoff would be able to tell what happened
but when I got to the living room he was still asleep.  When I woke him up
he gave no indication that he knew anything about my torturous experiences.
While we ate breakfast Geoff told me that he thought about girls all night.
He asked me if I ever touched my dick.  I was surprised at the question and
quickly answered no hoping he didn't know that Moose had touched me there.
He said that after Moose and I went to bed he took off his underwear and
"humped" his pillow.  He said it was great and that I should try it.  He
bragged that he "came" and asked me if I had ever "cummed".  Again I said
no, paralyzed by fear from the night before and embarrassed that we were
talking like that.

	Moose came into the kitchen and started getting his own breakfast.
He said that after breakfast we should finish trading baseball cards before
we had to go home.  The rest of that morning passed without incident with
the horrors of the night before fading like a bad dream.

	Around 10 O'clock, Geoff's parents came to pick him up.  They had
someplace to be that afternoon and Geoff had to get ready.  I didn't have
to be home until later that day so Moose recommended that I stay for awhile
and said that he would take me and my bike home later.  I agreed, half
hoping for another chance at the magazines.

	I got my wish and more....