Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2012 01:34:16 -0400 From: Jesse Jesse Subject: Being Seen 1 I am constantly amazed at the cruelty and selfishness of some parents. No, I'm not one of those teenage writers who's angry at the world, but as I look back on my life, I really am amazed at the selfishness of my own parents. Though my story is complicated and long, I'll try to keep back-story information as brief as possible. Both of my parents were from wealthy families. My paternal grandfather owned a large lumber mill operation, the largest in the county to be exact, that supplied all the lumber for the local building supply store, as well as farming cattle and tobacco on his 10,000 acres of land, and owned an almost 50% share in the local short line railroad that fed the agricultural and industrial products from our small town to the Norfolk & Southern interchange ten miles away. My maternal grandparents were also farmers, but later in life they operated the one and only fuel supply in town, supplying everything from kerosene to propane for winter heating. I guess you've figured out by now that I'm from one of those small southern towns like Mayberry where everyone knows everyone, and life is ideally like something from a Norman Rockwell postcard. Alas, if only it really were that way. You see, in all honestly, my parents' marriage was not such a perfect picture. No, far from perfect, my parents actually had to get married to prevent scandal. My mother became pregnant the summer after their senior graduation. After my grandparents realized the truth, they quickly arranged a small, private ceremony for my parents to be married, "because my parents wanted a small, intimate affair, of course." You see, both sides of my family were "those families," you might say. They were the families that everyone else in the community was judged by. Wealthy, socially well-connected, and by appearances morally wholesome, they were the families that everyone in town knew, so as was the common practice of the time, my parents' marriage was expected after realizing my mother was pregnant. From what I've been told by my grandparents, for the first couple of years our family was a happy one. My dad was offered a full ride through business school while my mom stayed home with me. But as the years began to pass, my dad's education and eventual work began to force him to stay away more and more. Eventually came the day when my mother, being lonely in a huge house in a snobby neighborhood, began paying some attention to another man. At first it was just a second glance, or a lingering touch of the hand, but this eventually evolved into a full-fledged affair, and that's where the trouble started. As I said, both sides of my family were extremely well-known and in the social spotlight of our little town, so to hear of such a scandal in two of the most wealthy families in the town started an uproar. I was by this time fifteen. How I hated that year of my life! I couldn't walk through the halls of my high school without someone whispering "yes, it's his parents," or simply coming up and saying "hey, aren't you the Deytons' son?" It seemed that everyone in town chose a side to stand on in what became a very public battle of accusations and rumors between my parents. Every day I was barraged with questions of who my mother was "sleeping around with" or who my day had been seen eating out with. The worst part was that, despite all this public drama, my parents still came home to the same house. I cannot count the nights I lay curled in my bed, sobbing and shaking with grief, as my parents' screams and vicious words rang through our house. I remember lying in bed during those terrible nights, praying and hoping that my parents would suddenly come bursting through my door, announcing they were getting a divorce, but no such blessing came. Finally came the day when my paternal grandfather had had enough. Through all this Grandpa Deyton was the one person I had still been able to talk to. Grandpa was one of those people who wasn't just respected because of wealth or land. He was an honest, decent person that the community looked up to because he lived what he spoke, and when he spoke people listened. I can still remember the evening he took me to his home after school and introduced me to Seth. "Jesse I know this has been hard on you. I am so sorry, son, for what your parents have put you through. I wish I could say they have realized what you are feeling through this, but it seems all they're thinking of is their own damn selves. Now, your grandmother and I have been pondering things over, and we want to do something to help you. I hadn't told you about it yet, because I wanted to surprise you for your eighteenth birthday, but I feel now there's something you should know. Grandma Deyton and I have been working on something for you. I guess you might say we've been working on a little getaway place for you, somewhere you can hide during all this damn commotion with your father and mother. Do you remember the little house that's down by the river, the one you used to always tell me you wanted to live in some day?" "Yes Grandpa, I remember it, but what's that got to do with me and what's happening with Mom and Dad?" "Well, like I say, Grandma and I have been having some work done, and we want to offer you a chance to spend some time there, down at the river house."...I sat speechless at what I'd just been told. This couldn't be happening. This wonderful, blessed news couldn't be happening! Bursting into tears and sobs, I lunged into Grandpa's arms. "Yes, yes, yes, yes! I'll go! Grandpa I've been hoping, praying, dreaming of a way to get out of that damn house! Mom and Dad have just about drove me crazy! I even thought of packing my stuff and just getting in the car and trying to drive myself somewhere!" Grandpa chuckled a little. "Why not let's wait until you're sixteen before you start trying to drive. I wouldn't mind being the one to teach you to do that, so I'd appreciate it if you'd wait on me. Now listen, there's one condition to this arrangement...you have to let me send someone with you, someone to watch over you." I sat back and stared at Grandpa for a moment. "What do you mean, like a babysitter?" "No, I'm not talking about a babysitter. I'm talking about someone to drive you to school and help you do some cooking. It's almost ten miles from down by the river to the nearest school bus stop. You can't walk that far every day, and you'll need someone to help you cook. I've asked Seth to stay with you. Do you remember Seth? He's been working here on the farm with me for about two years now...Seth!" Though to this day I still don't know what I was expecting in the person Grandpa had asked to stay with me at the river house, Seth was most definitely not it! A few moments after Grandpa had called a tall figure had filled the doorway. "Seth this is my grandson, Jesse. Jesse this is Seth." I stared at the young man standing in the doorway of the living room. Seth most definitely didn't fit the description of "babysitter." I guess him to be 25 or so. He was tall and muscular, but in a natural way. His body was toned and hard from working the farm with my grandfather and the other work hands. Faded, worn jeans fit tightly around his legs and waist, and a tee shirt that was more holes than cloth clung to his chest. The holes from sleeves being torn away from the seems revealed muscular, tanned arms. His face was tanned. Green eyes shown out from above high cheekbones. A shock of messy, curly black hair stuck out from underneath the brim of the cap that sat on his head, and his full lips and mouth were framed by a thin mustache and goatee. A calloused hand reached out to shake mine as a deep, mellow voice spoke. "Hello Jesse, nice to meet you. Your grandpa's spoken an awful lot about you." I tried my best to stutter a "hello" back. Grandpa stood from the sofa and began guiding me and Seth toward the door. "Well, I've already spoke with Seth about what's going on, and what he'll be doing for a while. Why don't you boys go ahead and make your way down to the river house?" But a terrible thought struck me as Grandpa's hand fell on my shoulder. "But Grandpa, what about Mom and Dad? Dad'll be pissed, hell, he'll be furious when he find's out about this, won't he?" Grandpa smiled. "You just leave your dad to me. If he truly wants what's best for you, he'll realize that you being stuck in that house while he and your mother duke it out isn't it! You just need to go somewhere you can have some peace and quite for a while, do a little thinking to yourself. Whatever happens between your parents, you don't need to be in the middle of their squabbles. Now, I've already sent Ray over for your stuff, and you've got a few clothes here in the house, so don't worry about a thing. You'll find food in the river house. There's TV and `inter net' or `world web,' or whatever it is you're talking about all the time, so just go and try to clear your mind. All set? All right..." "But Grandpa, what if..." "Jesse, son, stop worrying. I'll see to it that your parents understand. Now, go!" And so with those last words I was ushered into a rusty truck and Seth and I were on our way down the dusty dirt road to the little house by the river. Though the trip to the river house wasn't a long one, it seemed to take ages. Questions swirled in my mind. What would my parents think? Would they be angry with what Grandpa had just done? Would they try to force me to come back home? And then there was Seth. I'd seen him from a distance as he'd worked in the fields before, but I hadn't even known his name until this evening. Would he and I get along? More than once my stomach churned at the questions bombarding my mind. Seth seemed to realize this as he studied me out of the corner of his eye. "Jesse are you all right? You seem a little upset." What could I say? I couldn't just start spilling my guts and all my worries onto a guy I'd only just met! "I'm okay, I guess." "You're worried about your parents, aren't you, what they're gonna think and say?" It seemed I didn't have to tell him. He already knew. "Yes." "Look, I just wanna tell you that your grandpa's not asked me to be a babysitter or anything like that. He's told me very plainly that you needed your own space, just that you might need some help with cooking and stuff like that. I don't want you to think I'm here to stare over your shoulder or anything. I'm just gonna be around if you need help." I smiled. "Thanks Seth. I appreciate that." I tried to lighten the mood a little and chuckled. "I guess I will need some help with cooking. Hell, I'm not the best at the world with making cereal!" Seth laughed a warm laugh. "Well, I don't know that I'll be able to cook things the way your mom used to, but I'm not a terrible cook." "Mom didn't cook." ...The silence that followed was deafening. It seemed that by that short reply I'd managed to embarrass Seth and myself both. "I'm sorry Jesse. I didn't mean that to make you feel bad or anything." I felt my face flush. "No, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. I didn't mean to sound like a smartass. It's just that, well, like I say, my mom never cooked. I can't remember the last time I had something that wasn't delivery." Jesse studied from the corner of his eye as he drove on, his last words bringing a smile to my face. "Well, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?"