Date: Mon, 24 May 2010 18:06:25 -0700 From: Tim P Subject: Blake's Story Chapter 14 All rights reserved. Other than downloading one copy for personal enjoyment, no part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, except for reviews, without the written permission of the author. Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author, Tim Price at privatetimm@gmail.com All the usual disclaimers apply. This is a work of pure fiction and a fetid imagination. If it is illegal to read this where you live, don't read it. If you are under legal age where you live, don't read it. This story contains descriptions of consensual sexual contact between males, adult and minor. It is written for the entertainment of mature adults. Passing through Nifty's main page to get here is your way of saying it is legal for you to be reading it. Chapter Fourteen - I Straighten Up - Wrestling Season - Relationships Start Matt's Story After that night where I jacked off Blake and he returned the favor I decided I needed to clean my act up, I couldn't keep subjecting these guys to my desires and my wants I had to do what was best for them. That day I invited Sandy, Tony, Marco and a bunch of guys from the Central football team over to watch football and eat pizza and hang out. I saw the look in Blake's eyes. I know he was feeling guilty about the night too, but he wouldn't have to worry. We weren't going there again. The following week I talked to Marco. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Marco came over Friday night because we were going to a wrestling tournament the next morning early. Tom would have come too, but it seems Ethan's parents were out of town so he was going to spend the night there and meet Marco and me at my place at six the following morning. Marco and I had just finished dinner and he came over to snuggle up to me on the couch. I spun him and squared him to me. "Marco," I start. He has that happy, goofy look that is quintessentially Marco. I start explaining that I have to pull back from our physical relationship and why. I try to emphasize that it isn't going to change our friendship and that I love him terribly, but I think all he hears is that I am pushing him away. The happy, bouncy kid now looks sadder than I've ever seen anyone look in my life it breaks my heart, but I know this is best for him. "Why Matt? Why now?" Big tears cascade down his cheeks. "I don't get it, we had a great summer, I've kept my word, no one but our little group knows anything. What did I do wrong?" "It isn't you Marco, you haven't done anything wrong it's all me, I've been the one who is wrong this whole time. "Something happened didn't it? We can fix whatever it is Matt, I promise. I love you. I mean I guess I love Evan too, but not like with you. I've just been waiting until you are ready to commit. I knew it wouldn't be while I was in high school, but still......" "You have a future Marco and it may not be here in Wyoming. You'll go off to college and wonder what you ever saw in this state. You'll be in San Francisco or Chicago and who knows where or how'll I wind up. I... I... might get married or something.... have kids... you know..." "Is that what it is? You've found a girl and you want to be normal again? Do I make you feel gay Matt? Do you hate yourself because of it?" Marco is bawling now, I slide closer to pull him to me, but he pushes away. "No, I'm just going to go to bed now." "Marco, look at me. It isn't you. It isn't a woman. It isn't anything. It is just time for me to grow up. The only thing you make me feel is loved. I don't hate myself, I am who I am, but I am ashamed I dragged you into all this." Marco looks at me and I can't read his look. I can't tell if he is confused, angry, hurt or maybe all three. He starts to say something, he just shakes his head and makes his way to the guest bedroom. "Marco, you aren't going to sleep with me?" He turns and looks at me again, the look is definitely hurt this time. "No, I couldn't...." And he just closes the door. In the morning he still has the same hurt look, but Tom who has joined us for the ride down to the tournament in Colorado is so bouncy and pumped up from his time with Ethan last night, he can't shut up and doesn't notice anything between Marco and me. "Ethan and I are going to try it as an official couple now. I mean we aren't going to come out or anything, but we're going to be, you know, exclusive now. Are you guys okay with that?" Tom looks at Marco and me as if he is seeing us for the first time today. "Hey, what's going on? Did you guys have a fight or something?" "Or something," Marco mumbles and stares out the car window at the passing scene. I try to explain to Tom that I am... well... trying to clean up my act. He says he gets it, or thinks he does, but I am not sure if he does. Marco mumbles more about not understanding at all and says if Tom gets it than maybe he can explain it to him. Marco has a rotten day of wrestling, losing two matches he should have won easily and he can't hardly look at me the whole day. Tom wrestles well enough to make the finals so we have to stick around to the end of the tournament. The plan had been for Tom and Marco to spend the night back at my place again because we'll roll into Cheyenne late tonight, but I am not sure if Marco wants to still. Tom won his final, so between his new status with Ethan and winning the tournament he is insufferably happy which I think only serves to make Marco less happy. We get back to my apartment and Marco again heads to the guest bedroom, Tom goes into mine to shower. I crawl into my bed and Tom joins me after the shower. "Tom, would you go sleep with Marco, I hate him being alone and unhappy." "I think you should go sleep with him, you are the reason he is alone and unhappy. I understand you think you are doing the right thing here, but Marco needs time to adjust. He really loves you know. I do too. And Ethan. You've really helped us whether or not you believe it. None of what has happened between any of us has been bad. But I get your decision. Still....." He trails off and I have to say I kinda get where he is coming from too. I slide out of my bed and slip quietly into the guest bedroom. I can hear Marco crying again. "Matt," he starts to say. I shush him and slide into bed with him and pull him to me. He doesn't resist this time. "Why Matt," he asks quietly though his tears, "it's been on my mind all day today. What did I do wrong, what happened to you, why do you want to change things." "I wish things didn't have to change Marco, I really mean that. I think about that day in Capital Hill when we got to walk through town holding hands like a real couple and I meant it when I said I wished we could stay that way forever, that we could run away, but you were too young, you still are. I think about your parents, how would they feel if they knew what we've done and Blake's....." I blurt out Blake's name before I think about it and that gets Marco's attention, he lifts his head and looks at me. "Blake? Is that what this is about? Did something happen with him?" I've already started, so I might as well finish. I tell him about Blake, not just about Stacy and the other guys, but everything, Blake's boner in 8th grade, our workouts at the Y, how we sleep with each other, the stuff we say when no one is around. I don't mention what I know about him and Tony, that is their business, but the rest of it all tumbles out. "So what, you jacked him off, he seemed to like it and it seems like he has wanted that for a while. What has changed, I mean we've been doing stuff for a year now. You like it, or I think you do, I like it, Tom and Ethan like it too, what is so wrong now?" I sigh, "what is wrong is that night with Blake has made me realize it has been about me. Me getting off, me having fun, me wanting what I want not worrying about you guys at all. And besides, I am a real teacher now, I know I can't be having sex with students even if you are of age by law, it still is unethical and I would disappoint anyone who knows me, not the least of which are my parents, your parents and Blake's parents. Everyone trusts me to do the right thing and I haven't been." "Yeah, my parents might be a little shocked or whatever, but they know you'd never hurt me and you haven't. It wasn't all about you, I know how Tom's first time with you was. I know how our first time was. I don't think there is a selfish bone in your body Matt. The only things you've done wrong is to see me, Tom, Blake and all the guys as equals. You treat us like young adults not stupid kids like all the other teachers, that is why everyone listens to you in wrestling and when you teach. I know I'm being selfish, because I don't want our relationship to change, but I believe you when you say you love me and I promise I'll work to make the friendship work too, I love you Matt. I always will." "I love you too Marco and I always will too and who knows... someday.... let's get some sleep." Marco stays wrapped in my arms as we settle down. The guestroom door creaks open slowly and Tom comes over and slips into bed with us. "What, I hate sleeping alone now." The three of us drift off to sleep in my guest bed. ***************************************************** Wrestling season is off and running and it seems to be going well. Everyone is adjusting to our new ways of hanging out. Blake spends the night far less than he did and is pouring himself more into dating girls. We still do our Saturday workouts if I don't have a wrestling tournament, but we go our separate ways afterwards now. I can see the pain in his eyes and it hurts I am the cause of it. It isn't always there, but sometimes I catch him looking at me and I see it. Because of wrestling, we had a tournament during the Holidays, I didn't get to go home for Christmas, but I spent Christmas Eve with the Burroughs, spent the night and then went over to the Palatzo's for Christmas breakfast and later again for dinner with the Palatzo's and Burroughs. It was tough being in the same house, but not bed as Blake, but it is for the best. Dillon had graduated, but Derrick is back for his junior year and he has bumped up a weight to 112's ad over at East Tom is up one weight to 119's and Marco is up as well at 125's. When I see him at weigh-ins at our dual meet, I can't believe how ripped he is. Last year he was a natural 125 wrestling 119's, but I'd say he is a natural 135 pounder sucking down to 125's and there isn't an ounce of fat anyplace on him. He catches me looking at him, but I can't tell if his expression is smugness or grim satisfaction, whatever it is it isn't the usual happy Marco look. Another on my list of people I've hurt through my selfishness. With Dillon gone, Derrick has been my bed partner for all the overnight trips and his usual sexual banter is a welcome distraction and a return to normalcy for me. Cody has been our roommate again this year, he is less shy and up to 160 now and emerging as a leader on the team. He has been paired with a newcomer, a ninth grader named Jody who has replaced Derrick at 103's this season. "Hey don't worry Cody, I've prepped Jody on his duties to keep the upperclassman happy, so when he rolls to his stomach tonight you'll know he is ready for you." Jody squeals and giggles and quickly rolls to his back from his stomach where he was. Cody comes back at Derrick. "And I've told him to ignore those noises from you tonight when Coach rams you like a studding bull. I hate when you whimper like a little girl when Coach does that, it just ain't dignified Mann." "Hey, hey, those noises are from Coach, not me, he ain't big enough to cause me to whimper." "Oh yeah," I get into the act now, "we'll see about that tonight," Jody's eyes get big as if not knowing to believe us or not. He was around in the club last year, but the kids had different coaches than the Cadets and Juniors so this is all new to him. I tell the boys goodnight and to get some sleep, the tournament is going to be hard enough tomorrow. Derrick reaches over and grabs my soft cock. "Hmmm, not as hard as usual I'd say." That gets a groan and gasp out of me since it has been since the end of last summer that I've had any contact with a guy. Derrick's little grab reminds me I miss it more than I thought I would. I wake first in the morning as usual and early as usual and grab my workout clothes for a quick run. I love running in the early morning cold, the fresh, cool mountain air always helps me clear my head. I get about three miles in, just enough to get my blood flowing and a nice sweat going. I get back in the room the guys are still sacked out, but I'll need to wake them before long, we have weigh-ins in about an hour. "Coach," I hear a quiet voice say, "can you hand me my jockeys?" It is Jody and his jockey underwear is on the floor beside his bed. Even in the darkness I can see him blushing and I am sure he can see my grin as well. "Sure, no worries Jody and I mean, no worries," I emphasize. I hand him his jockeys and head into the bathroom to shower. I am just stepping into the shower when there is a soft knock on the door, that isn't closed tight. "Coach can I piss?" It is Jody in his jockeys with a cute morning wood, probably no more than 5". "I am sure you can Jody otherwise you'd have burst long before now." Jody, who is in one of my ninth grade English classes, rolls his eyes at me, "MAY I piss?" "Yes, Jody you may." And I step in the shower. I can't help watching out of the corner of my eye as Jody relieves his bladder and diminishes his morning wood. It is awfully cute. He washes his hands, but doesn't leave the bathroom. I finish my quick shower and grab a towel from the rack in the shower. Jody is watching me and looks like he wants to say something. "Yes?" I prompt him. "Can I ask you something Coach? "Anything, anytime," I respond. Jody closes the bathroom door tight, "Is what I did last night okay?" That gets an eyebrow raise out of me. "I am not sure what you did last night, but did you do anything you didn't want to or regret now?" He thinks a minute, "no nothing happened that I didn't want to and I don't regret any of it, but I think I'm supposed to feel bad about it." I smile at him and try to be reassuring, "you aren't supposed to feel bad about anything that doesn't make YOU feel bad. Don't let others dictate how ought to feel." Damn, why does it sound so simple coming out of my mouth, when even I am having a hard time believing it? Jody nods, shrugs and says thanks. Then the bathroom door bursts open and in comes Derrick in his boxers, rubbing his eyes and his own morning wood tenting his boxers. Jody's eyes bug out so far he almost looks like a Saturday morning cartoon. Derrick, never one who fails to please an audience, drops his boxers to take his piss. He holds his monster and looks over his shoulder at Jody whose eyes are riveted on the big snake. "This is why Coach is the one who whimpers not me, play your cards right and I'll kick him out next trip for you." He then shakes it twice and steps into the shower. Jody looks at me in wonder. "Don't believe a word he says Jody," I pause a moment, "I never whimper." And with that I step past him into the bedroom. The rest of the season goes well and we are back getting ready for state again in combined workouts with East High. Like last year I am working with the lower weights so I have Marco, Tom, Jody, Derrick and a few other kids who have qualified. Marco and Tom are just beating the piss out of each other at practice and Marco looks like a man possessed. They give Derrick a real going over too and he can barely hang because is so much lighter than Marco. The week of hard practice pays off though; Marco tears up the field at 125 to win state for East. The most gratifying part was him coming to find me after the match to thank me, he credits me for a lot of his success. He gives me a huge hug. It is the most contact and the best feeling I've had about our friendship since I told him I was backing off of things, but when he tells me he wants to talk later I worry all over again. Marco's ethic and hard work seems to have helped Tom too, when he places second at 119's. I see him hugging his mom and dad and then when his mom moves, I see Ethan and Tom gives him a huge hug too. Ethan must have driven up earlier today because this is the first time I've seen him. I wonder what it means that he is sitting with the McAlister's, if anything. Derrick, improved one place this year to third from fourth last year, Jody doesn't place, but he wrestled well anyway and Cody manages to finish sixth, which is a bit of a surprise since he made a huge jump in weight classes since last year. All the Central kids are done after Cody's 160 match so Marco tracks me down and motions me to follow him. There is no place to really talk quietly in a gym so I follow him outdoors into the cold Wyoming winter. "I... I... just wanted you to hear it from me first," Marco starts with a stammer, "Evan has asked me to be his boyfriend and I said yes." I feel an incredible stab of pain and sense of total loss, it must show on my face because Marco winces at my expression. "Geeze, I'm sorry Matt it's just that....." I cut him off, "there's no need to be sorry Marco, I'm happy for you, you and Evan," my voice cracks as I say it so Marco isn't buying my happiness anymore than I am, but for my sake he pretends not to notice. "Thanks, I know you want me to be happy. I wish you wanted yourself to be as happy too." There is nothing to say, so I say nothing, just give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. On the van ride home, I am noticeably quiet. Most of the guys are sleeping, but I am in the back bench seat with Derrick who notices my mood. "Well you look like you lost your best friend," he says quietly. I am feeling pretty melancholy so all I can think to say is, "I think I did." "Need me to come over and cheer you the fuck up next weekend?" His grin is a mix of lechery and sympathy. "Yeah, I might need you to," I try to grin back, but I know I look like one of those sad clown paintings at a bad mall art store. I wish I looked more like the poker playing dogs, they always look happy. ******************************************* Blake's Story It has been four months since that night with Stacy and I think I disgust Matt now, I can see it in his eyes when we workout. We stretch like we used to, but that playfulness I thought used to be there, isn't, it is just stretching now. I know he now knows why I couldn't get hard with Stacy, but could with him and I know he realizes why I got that boner in the sauna in eighth grade. I have it for him and I have it bad. I've relived that night over and over. Not the part with Stacy. The part with Matt wrapped around my cock and me on his. Every time I relive the moment I get smoking hard and not only do I have to jack, but I have powerful ejaculations when I do. I know he is right though; I can't be that way and shouldn't want to be. I know he isn't, he was just humoring me. I know now I was just imaging that he might like me the way I liked him. Yeah he says he is cool with gay people and I believe him. I think he'd be cool with me if I told him I was gay, I think he'd at least respect me more for being honest with him, if not myself. But it is easier if I date girls. Everyone is happy. Jack is happy his boy's a stud, Norma is happy she'll have grand babies, Tony is happy we're not fucking around anymore, Matt is happy, I'm not perving on him anymore. Yup, everyone is happy. But Blake. ******************************************* Marco's Story I guess in a way Matt deciding we couldn't be lovers or kinda boyfriends anymore turned out really well for me. I was so blind pissed off that first week after he told me I was just mad at the world, no more nice guy Marco, even my mom was worried about what was going on. I went on a tear in the mat room though, I was ripping up everybody in practice, even up to the 145 pounders, they couldn't hang with me and then that weekend I pinned my way to the finals. My total mat time my first three matches was under three minutes and then I pinned in the finals too. So yeah, I guess I should be grateful to Matt for getting me to find that fire in me. So yeah, I guess I should be grateful to Matt, but I'm not, not really. I still love him and that hurts the most. I know he loves me too and that is really frustrating. And I guess I should be grateful to Matt because it made the decisions about him and Evan pretty easy. I really do love Evan and I am stoked to be his boyfriend, really I am, but you know, my heart will always have Matt in it. He was my first crush long before he knew me. The idea that I had him, just like I had dreamed about was surreal. It almost has a dreamlike quality about it now as if it never even happened. I've been as fierce in bed with Evan the weekends he has come down from Laramie as I was on the wrestling mat and that has me feeling REALLY guilty and REALLY bad. Evan is stoked, he thinks all this passion is about him and he is happy as can be. God help me, don't let me blurt out Matt's name ever, please God. ******************************************* Matt's Story The Saturday after state wrestling rolls around. I am actually looking forward to hanging out with Derrick today, I just wonder what he meant by "cheer me up". I have a great workout with Blake at the Y that morning, his eyes don't have that flickering of contempt I've seen there. I wish I could reverse time and take back that night with Stacy or at least take back the part where I touched him. Yeah he asked me to finish, but that was just because he was a horned up teen. I can feel his body stiffen when I touch him during stretching and he doesn't touch me one second longer than he has to. There is no more lingering or wandering fingers. I miss that teasing play we had, but now I know it was innocent, he didn't really want to go any place with it. Maybe Blake is softening up a little, because he asks if I want to grab lunch like we used to, but I tell him I have plans. I think he actually looks disappointed when I say no. But I leave the Y feeling pretty good and rush home because Derrick is coming over around 11:30AM and we are going to swim some and get lunch. I am just in the door and changed into my swim trunks when he shows up. He is dressed in sweats and a parka. I assume he has his swim suit on underneath so I ask him if he is ready to swim. "Yeah, I just need to put on my bathing suit," he grins as he swings his backpack off. He pulls off his Ugg boots and drops his sweats and boxers in one motion so he stands there naked from the waist down with his big schlong swinging while he digs his trunks out of his back pack. Crap this boy is an exhibitionist, but I have to smile despite myself. And God help me, despite my best intentions and new philosophy I hope 'cheering me the fuck up' part does include fucking me. But at least with Derrick I guess I know I am not toying with emotions if something happens, he views sex like just another activity, like bowling, only more fun and with easier scoring. He puts his sweats on back over his bathing suit, I pull on some sweats too and we walk over to the indoor pool in my complex. We throw our towels, parkas and sweats on the chairs and jump in the pool. We float and splash around for about twenty minutes and then the horse play starts, him trying to dunk me and not getting too far with it, I mean he does way fifty pounds less than me, but then that wasn't the point really, was it. He wanted to establish the body contact with me and he knew I'd figure out the rest. He really is here to cheer me the fuck up. After about five minutes of wrestling in the water where we both get firm as a politician's handshake Derrick looks at me and grins, "you ready to go to your place and cheer up?" Yeah I am, I need fucking cheering up. We climb out of the pool, Derrick looks out the door and seeing no one coming drops his bathing suit, starts to dry quickly and pulls his sweats on. Damn, I swear that boy's dick has gotten even bigger and it is only two-thirds of the way hard. I follow suit, drop my trunks too and quickly towel dry before pulling my sweats on. We carry our wet trunks back to my place and they are frozen almost solid by the time we get inside which is why we didn't leave them on for the walk across my complex. We get into my bedroom where the parkas are dumped and the bathing suits are tossed into the bathroom. Derrick sits on my bed and pulls his Uggs off and then stands and comes to me and pulls me into him kissing me roughly. "So what are we doing here?" I ask. "Hey this is about cheering you up, so you are going to fuck me. Why in the hell do you need cheering up anyways, Marco?" My expression must show how startled I am. "Oh please Coach, I've known about you and Marco for a long time. I know Marco had his sights on you since seventh or eighth grade, but I figure you didn't catch on until last year. What happened, did you guys break up.?" "How the fuck did you get so smart Mann?" I shake my head in wonder and admiration. "I keep my mouth shut and my eyes open, most people don't do that and they never know what they miss. So what's the story?" I sigh and lie back on the bed and pull Derrick back with me, wrapping my arms around him. "I decided I couldn't be serious with a high school student, especially not a tenth grader, so I told him we had to stop. And now he has a boyfriend, a real one and it hurts." "What about an eleventh grader Coach?" I give him a startled look. "No, not me, Jesus I told you I am straight, no what about Burroughs?" My startled looks continue, and Derrick looks at me like I am a little kid who needs a simple concept explained to him. "Dude, Burroughs transferred over, he spends the night a lot, you do your Y workout thing and he looks at you like a hungry, love starved puppy, it ain't rocket science." I laugh a little, "I'm not sure if Blake has it for me or not, but I've created y distance there too and he seems fine with it. He sure doesn't have a hard time finding dates to keep him occupied." "Jesus freaking Christ, are you sure you're a college grad? 'Cuz you are dang dense sometimes. I tell you that boy is mooning over you." "I thought you were going to cheer me the fuck up Mann," I say with a grin. "Fine, fine, but you need to open your eyes and worry about not just your happiness but Burroughs and Marco's too." Funny, I thought I was. But my thoughts are broken as Derrick's lips close over mine and his tongue slips into my mouth seeking my tongue. It is soft, sweet and gentle, he really does know how to cheer someone up and take their mind off their troubles. We kiss for about five minutes with a building intensity. I stop suddenly, "wait, I'm fucking you, but you mean first right? I mean you're still gonna fuck me too aren't you?" "Oh hells yeah Matt, I'm gonna rip you up and you're gonna love it." "Good," is all I say and I go back to kissing him. I have been with six, maybe seven women since I decided to try the straight and narrow again. No actually it has been eight, but the number isn't important, the point I was going to make is. No matter how cool and fun it is to have sex with a gal, it can't compare to sex with another guy, the experience is just so different. The smells are different, the feel of the skin, the muscles and the roughness of a guys face. Derrick hasn't shaved in a couple of days and I love the feel of his young stubble on my face and neck. I breathe in his scent and feel him hard in his sweats. With Derrick on top of me I slip my hands inside his sweats down the back and cup his small buns and squeeze. He moans into my mouth and grinds in all the harder. He lifts from his grinding as I push his sweats down and he kicks them off. I roll him to his back, pin him down and attack his neck. Derrick squirms in passion and pleasure and drives his hips and cock up into my stomach. I am so inflamed I don't spend much time on his neck but kiss down to his dime sized nipples and lick and nibble and tweak as I continue down. I kiss his firm, smooth belly and I think he is shocked when I bypass his cock that already has pre-cum dripping and kiss the inside of his thighs. I push up his ball sac and start to lick his perineum. He moans and lifts his legs even higher and I help by pushing them up too. His hole is exposed and open to me now and I can't wait so I just plunge my hard tongue straight in. Derrick gasps 'holy fuck' as I fuck him with my tongue and circle the pucker with my tongue. I taste the chlorine of the pool and now I can't wait to be inside of him, but I want to give him pleasure too and he seems to be enjoying this so I persist. I rim him for about five minutes and finally I can't stand it anymore, I need to be in him, it has been too long since this pleasure. I roll to the side and reach to the nightstand for lube and push off my sweats while I do. Derrick is ready too, he has his legs up and apart. I lube my fingers and enter him slowly, the first finger sliding in and sinking deep, curving back to find his prostate and when I do he jumps and clamps on me. Within a few moments three fingers are doing their job of opening up Derrick. "I'm ready," is his husky statement after a minute of the three fingers. I lube up my cock and pull Derrick down to the edge of the bed, I decide for something just a little different. I am going to stand to get more power and leverage here, Derrick grins because he gets it. As I place my head at his ring and press slowly I feel Derrick push out and then relax and pull me in as I push slowly too. The shaft follows my head deep into him until it is fully buried. Derrick blows out a couple of breaths and relaxes and I start my rhythm. Standing I get to use more leverage and power so every thrust is deep and bangs into his prostate with force. I don't have much patience and Derrick can't get enough either so I build quickly to a fast pace. The last time I was with him, it was a long one hour session that ebbed and flowed and built to the end. This is raw animal lust and passion and I know I can't go beyond fifteen minutes, but I don't think Derrick is disappointed because I don't know how much of the aggressiveness he can take. I am actually nearing twenty minutes, when I can feel the climax coming. I have sweat dripping off my chest onto Derrick below me and I can only grunt 'soon' and Derrick rasps back, 'kiss me'. I bend down and cover his lips with mine and his tongue has found its way into my mouth just as I start to explode inside of him. He moans as he feels the warm seed enter him from my bare cock. I pump ten eleven more times until I am spent, but I don't withdraw I just continue to tongue wrestle him as my sweat drenched chest rests on his and its heaving from the exertion slows down. "Holy fuck, Matty Matt, that was intense," Derrick blurts about five minutes later as he breaks the kiss, "I hope I can match that." "Me too," I grin back. And oh does he match it. He puts me on all fours and goes to town. I've seen this intensity from him on the wrestling mat, but never any place else. He actually manages to last more than thirty minutes at that level which makes me think I need to get in better shape. "So are you cheered up now?" Derrick wants to know when we are standing in the shower with my arms wrapped around him. "Yeah, I am feeling pretty damn cheerful, thanks," and I kiss him on his neck. "Could you be more cheerful?" He cranes his neck and looks at me. I give a grin back. "I'll call home and tell them I'm spending the night." And what a night it was. Not the raw sex of the afternoon, but tender and gentle, almost romantic with lots of cuddling. I'll reflect on what it all means to me later, but for the night it just felt so right. ***************************************************** I do reflect on it later and I wonder how it is that Marco and Tom are so sure of who they are, Derrick is also certain where his feelings lie and I am still so confused. I have to admit though that Derrick's attitude and stance has given me lots to think about. Despite the fact that Derrick and I had a pretty wild sexual encounter, our second to completion, I have no reason to doubt him when he tells me he is straight because I am starting to get it. I am not really sure how to define what I feel. I am like Derrick in that when I go to the mall or wherever guys don't really catch my eye, the women do. I've never had a random sexual encounter with a guy and never wanted one. I mean I know when a guy is good looking, I've checked out guys in the shower in high school, college and the YMCA, but even when the guy is hot or hung or whatever I've never been like 'oh wow I wanna get with him'. No all the guys I have been with were friends first and then the sex came later and in a variety of ways. I am still working to figure it all out. One epiphany I do have from my weekend with Derrick is that I am not done with guys by a long shot. There's a lot of things I like about women physically and emotionally. I like how they moon over me, I like how they giggle at my jokes and want to please me and lean on my masculinity. But, there is always a but too isn't there, the leaning on me and wanting to please me can get clingy and needy in a hurry. With guys I feel like I am with an equal, even with the guys who are younger like Marco and Derrick, I don't get a needy feeling, it is comfortable. I start thinking about guys my age, even a little older, do I have the same feelings about them? Kyle Bunch for example, the PE teacher I worked for at Carey; I see him now and again because he coaches at East. I know he is single, I don't remember him ever talking about women in the five months I was his aide, he is just five years older. And Derrick suggested I look up Dillon when he is home from Northern Colorado. He didn't say why, but I gather he thinks Dillon and I might have some things in common, but he'll leave that up to me to discover. ***************************************************** High school wrestling is over and freestyle and Greco season are in full swing along with Legion baseball. Marco and Tony are still playing baseball and Marco goes with us when he can to weekend wrestling tournaments and Blake is turning into a muscle head, he lifts like a demon now, he is out benching me by far, but I still have it over him in the legs for now at least, but he is catching up in a hurry. He is being a great leader too, getting all the football guys that don't play a spring sport into the weight room with him. He has been dating a girl at school and spending lots of time with her which is a relief. I don't see the look in his eyes anymore or at least not as much. I guess he is over whatever pain I inflicted on him because of that night with Stacy. Marco's athletic tear is continuing. He is playing on the highest level of Legion baseball and has the third highest batting average on the team, even better than Tony, which Tony never hears the end of from just about everyone, but Marco. Tony is handling it well though mostly because I know he is really proud how well Marco is playing, even if he doesn't quite get Marco's new found determination. On the weekends that Marco doesn't have baseball, Evan has been coming down and Marco has asked me to cover with his mom if she calls. It is a double edged sword for me, it hurts to think of him with Evan, it hurts that I am helping facilitate it and it bothers me I might have to lie to his mom. I guess that is a triple edged sword so maybe it is more of an épée than sword anyway. Whatever, it makes me unhappy. Just after baseball ends I am at the Y on a Saturday without Blake. He's gone to Denver for the weekend with his parents and that kind of hurts. Last year he would have made an excuse to stay home and stay with me and we'd have a blast just enjoying each other's company, now it seems he finds reasons not to hang, but I don't blame him. I am done lifting and in the sauna when Tony Palatzo Jr. enters the sauna, his eyes arch up a little. "Where is Marco, isn't he with you?" Yikes, busted, what do I say? "Umm, no, he decided to stay at the house and watch TV." "You don't need to bullshit me Matt, is he with Evan?" Now it is my turn for my eyebrows to arch up. "I know about Evan, it would be hard not to. Marco isn't as discrete as he thinks he is." Tony laughs a little. "Do your parents know?" Wow, this could be interesting. "My dad doesn't have a clue, but I suspect my mom knows what is going on, she is pretty tuned into to what Marco and I are up to." "So she knows I am covering for him then?" Tony just shrugs, "I don't know for sure that she knows, but she trusts Marco, she trusts you and I think she knows that he isn't getting into trouble so as long as she thinks that, everything is cool." Life just gets more complicated. "So how are you Tony?" I am changing the topic and starting polite conversation, but Tony's eyes glisten over. "What?" I know something is wrong. "Barbara broke up with me last night." Tony looks like he is ready to lose it so I forestall it. "Why don't we get out of here, grab some sandwiches and go over to my place. Tony nods and turns away and runs his towel over his face wiping out any residual from the glistening eyes. We meet at Jimmy John's Subs, I order an 8" Vito with extra meat, extra cheese and hot peppers and Tony gets the Hunter Club with extra meat and extra cheese. We take them back to my house where I grab two beers for us and we start to eat. I'll find out what is up with Barbara after we eat and after the beer starts to mellow him out. "I never knew you liked 8" Italians Matt," Tony blurts with a humongous, wicked grin as I am about to take another bite. I choke and he laughs at me, I am not sure what to make of that. If he knows about Marco and Evan, did he know about me and Marco too? "Well yeah, I think about 8" is my max though I don't think I could get my mouth around anything bigger." Now it is Tony's turn to choke and looked surprised, but he giggles too. We start talking about school, sports and summer that is just about to start. Blake and Tony are going to be seniors in a couple of more weeks as they finish out this year of high school and Tony's starts to choke again, but not because of any jokes. "It's all changing Matt and I don't want it to. My little brother has a boyfriend so I don't see him much anymore, my best friend left me at East last year and even though I see him a lot still it isn't the same, and I won't see him at all after next year. I think I am going to go to Colorado State and Blake wants to go to Wyo and now Barbara dumped me and it's all my fault. I feel so lost and alone sometimes." Tony works hard to be manly and not let tears fall, but he isn't winning the battle. He doesn't wipe them, that would be admitting they were there, so instead some random ones drop on his roast beef sandwich. I do my best to not look at him too directly so he can be comfortable. I put down what is left of my sandwich. "Tell me what happened with Barbara Tony," I ask softly. Tony composes himself for a minute. "Matt, it is so stupid, you're gonna think I'm an awful person," he starts slowly, his dark eyes clouded over, but not leaking anymore. "I'd never think you're and awful person, you know that." He sucks in a breath and starts, "we've been dating almost two years now, I've never pressured her to have sex and I won't. Real sex I mean, not other stuff, you know what I mean?" "No fucking?" I suggest. Tony Jr. blushes furiously. "Exactly..... anyways, we have done other stuff, I mean I feel her up, we've gotten totally naked and I've rubbed all over her, she's given hand jobs and I've...." I place my fingers in a "V" over my lips and push my tongue through it a few times, Tony cracks up and blushes even deeper. "Yeah that, but she won't give me head and I don't get it. I mean I've been so good about not asking her to fuck," he stumbles over the word, "I do everything for her in bed, but it's like I can't the one thing I really love and can keep me happy until she is ready to go all the way. I mean I don't get it, it is just freaking skin and I'm not even asking her to swallow or anything and I mean even I've...." He was wound up, it was almost as if he was alone talking to himself trying to rationalize it out, but he remembered he wasn't alone just before he blurted out 'even I've sucked cock' or words to that effect. So I finish for him, "even you've sucked a cock and isn't bad at all?" Tony looks shocked, his jaw moves with no sound coming out, finally he just hangs his head and then slumps back in his chair. "How long have you known?" Tony looks dejected and glum like his day can't get any worse. "Tony, look at me," he doesn't, "look at me," now he does, and he isn't happy. "I've known since you were in the 8th grade, that day that I took you and Blake to the University of Wyoming I popped my head in the bedroom while you guys were busy, I am still not sure whose feet I saw sticking out from under the covers. I thought it was cute and funny then and I still do. Lots of guys your age did stuff just like that, me included," that gets his attention with an eyebrow rise, "have I ever treated you badly or given you any indication that I would give a damn even if you were gay or bi?" He shakes his head no and says it, "no." "Fine, so chill and let's talk about the problem with Barbara, I know the problem, now how did it happen?" He jumps into part two of the story, "her parents were going to be out late so I went over just like I do anytime we get a chance to be alone. One thing led to another and pretty soon we were naked and she starts to jack me off and again I whisper in her ear, very sweet and quiet and ask if she'll suck me, she said no, and I told her it would mean so much to me and it would, and she just blew it off like it was nothing and she told me that was totally gross and acted like my feelings didn't matter and I lost it. I jumped up, yelled at her, told her she didn't care about me at all and she was just being stupid. Maybe she was and maybe it was just my horniness talking, but I really did feel like she didn't care about my feelings and wants and needs the way I've cared about hers. I stood there naked with a hard-on yelling at her, she starts crying telling me I didn't care about her and then I lost it even more and I threw down the gauntlet if she wanted to be my girlfriend she had to start acting like one and then she throws back maybe she doesn't want to be a girlfriend to someone so selfish and I'm 'fine' and she's like 'fine', so I ask 'are you my girlfriend' and she said no. I got dressed and left, I haven't talked to her since." He finishes and lies back, his hands covering his face. "And now I feel so stupid and selfish." I try to put that image of Tony's monster hard-on and waving around as he yells at Barbara out of my mind and focus on his problem. "Maybe you were and maybe you weren't, but you picked the worst possible time to have that discussion. The time to discuss a problem isn't in bed in the middle of making love especially when that is the issue. So let me ask you a few questions and see what we can figure out. Other than not getting head from her, how has the relationship been? Do you see it going someplace or have there been other problems and this was just the straw that broke the camel's back?" "I really love her I think, I don't really think about other girls," as I purse my lips at him in a look of disbelief he laughs, "well not that much, I mean yeah there are other girls I think are hot and I hear things about, but I can't think of any other girl I'd want to be my girlfriend. Things have been good in our relationship, but this is a pretty big deal to me. I don't know if it is because I know how easy it is to do and it's no big deal or because she doesn't understand how great it feels, but I keep coming back to she doesn't care enough about me to make me happy." I think a bit before answering, digesting his answer, "Have you talked it with her in a calm manner? Explained how important it is to you and what it means to you? Does she know anything about you and Blake or have any idea you've done it?" Tony looks shocked I'd even ask, "oh hell no I'd never tell her about me and Blake. And no, we've never talked about it before either, it is just a frustration that has been building in me." "So what I am hearing is you are mad at her for a problem she didn't know existed." Tony hangs his head a little, "I guess, I mean I've asked her before, but I've never made a scene until yesterday." "But you've always asked when you are already into making out or fooling around, never when you weren't hard already." He nods in agreement. "I think you need to evaluate how important she is to you and where you see this heading. You'll be a senior in a couple of months and it is a very special time and it can be a frightening time. You have to think about who you want to go through that senior year with, Homecoming, Spring Fling, the Prom, all that. Let's face it you are the quarterback Tony, you could have dozens of girls willing to do anything you want in bed to be your girlfriend and probably a half dozen guys who'd give you a blow job you'd never forget, but you have to think big picture about this, what is more important to you." I stop to allow all this to sink in to him, the first thought surprises me. "You really think there are six guys who'd give me head?" He asks it so sincerely and matter-of-factly I have to laugh. "Six in each grade, there are probably a couple on the football team alone. There are gay and bi and bi-curious guys all over your school and mine and in every high school and not everyone is the obvious guy in drama or choir or whatever, there are jocks too, you just never know who. Do you think anyone at school knows Marco is gay?" Tony looks like I slapped him, "I guess I've never thought of him being 'gay'," he emphasizes the word, "using that word to describe him. I mean he is just Marco, my brother and he likes guys, it's just him." Tony looks up at me, "and no, I doubt anyone thinks that, they just think he is shy around girls. What about Tom?" I get to looked surprised now, "Tom?" "Tom McAllister, he and Marco used to do the kind of stuff Blake and I did, do you think he is gay too?" I guess I've opened a can of worms here and I need to tread lightly, so I make a joke, "why? You think he is cute? Looking to get that head from someplace?" Again Tony surprises me, but I don't know if he is serious or joking back with me, "maybe, he is dang cute and God knows he and Marco did it enough to be in good practice." I laugh nervously, but decide to get us back on track about Barbara. "Seriously, back to Barbara, what you have to do is decide what she means to you, what you want for your senior year and this summer and then you need to have a serious talk with her when you don't have blood drained away from your brain. If she understands how important it is to you, it might make her look at it differently. If you are serious with her long term I'd even consider telling her about you and Blake so she knows you know what it is like, honesty goes a long way." "I can't ever seeing telling her about me and Blake, but I do have some serious thinking to do about the whole relationship and next year. Can we talk again before I actually talk to Barbara?" "You know you can come to me any time Tony...... What about Marco?" He looks perplexed, "what about Marco?" "Does he know you are okay with gay people? I mean you are okay with gays right? I mean I get from your attitude about Marco, Tom and Evan that you are. It might be nice if Marco knew he had support in the family." "I don't know what he thinks honestly, I don't ever think I've said too many things about gay guys, just the usual 'that's so gay' and stuff like that, Do you think that bothers Marco? I love him no matter what, I just want him to be happy." "It might bother him, but you should talk to him, ask him about it and tell him what you just told me." "Tonight?" Now it is my chance to be perplexed, "tonight what?" "Should I tell him tonight, my girlfriend's already mad at me, I don't need anyone else mad at me, especially not my brother. Why don't you invite him and Evan over and let's do dinner, hell, invite Tom too, he might as well know how I feel." "Tom is likely to not be alone today." Tony cocks his head, "a boyfriend?" I shrug my shoulders. "Someone I know?" I nod. "It isn't Blake is it?" "No, why would it be Blake?" "I dunno, I just thought.... never mind, just invite Tom and whoever over, I'm cool with whoever it is." Wow, that is really interesting, he thought Blake might be Tom's boyfriend. Is that because he thinks his sessions with Blake was more than just Blake being horny? Or does he know something about Blake and Tom that I don't? I guess I'll try to figure it out later, now I just smile and dial. Marco isn't too surprised at the invitation, but I don't tell him Tony is here. I call up Tommy and he is with Ethan and I invite them over too, but tell them to come over about an hour later than I told Marco and Ev. Fifteen minutes later the doorbell rings and I usher Marco and Evan into the living room, Marco stops and looks distressed when he sees Tony and Evan glares at me. "Hey bro," Tony says and he smiles shyly, "Hey Evan." "Ta..ta..Tony, what are you doing here?" "Barbara and I broke up last night, Matt's been helping me not slit my wrists." "Oh no," Marco moves to join Tony on the couch, "are you okay, what happened?" "Later. Matt and I talked about a lot, can we talk?" Marco looks nervous again, "s..s...sure about what?" "Can we use your room Matt?" Tony asks as he stands. "Of course." Tony grabs Marco's wrist and drags him towards my bedroom. I smile at Evan, "want a beer?" Evans glare deepens and he starts to move towards my bedroom, I put out an arm to stop him. "What is going on in there?" he demands. "Unless I am completely wrong Tony is telling Marco he loves him no matter what and apologizing if he ever said anything to make him think he had something against gay people. Do you want a beer?" "Tequilla," Evan says after he mulls over all I have said. About forty minutes later Marco and Tony emerge from my bedroom, both are smiling, but also look like there have been tears too. Marco makes his way over to Evan who stands and Marco places a quick peck on Evan's lips. "That was a fucking wimpy ass kiss," Tony says. Marco turns, smirks at Tony and me and pulls Evan in tighter and really plants a kiss on Evan who looks at Tony and me over Marco's head as Marco tries to swallow his tonsils. Tony's and my grins tell him we are amused, so Evan closes his eyes and returns Marco's kiss. They break at about thirty seconds. "Eh," Tony shrugs his shoulders, "I've still seen better." Marco starts to explain to Evan that Tony has known for a while and everything is cool. We all sit and start to talk about nothing for the most part and finally dinner comes up, It is in the middle of this discussion that the doorbell rings again. Tony goes to answer it. He swings it open and I can see the stunned look and slight panic on Tom's and Ethan's faces. I can't see Tony's face to see if he is surprised to see Ethan or not. "Oh good you're here, c'mon in. Tell Marco we are getting Chinese tonight and not pizza," Tony says inviting them in. Neither moves as if unsure what to do. "Tom, the walls between Marco's room and mine aren't as thick as you think, everything's cool.... really." Tony pauses, "unless you want pizza, then we're having problems. You don't want pizza do you Ethan?" Ethan looks unsure, but answers carefully, "no Chinese is cool with me." "The walls are thin? Tom asks. "Really thin," Tony responds quietly looking Tom in the eye. Before Tom can say anything, Tony pulls him into a 'bro hug', "we're cool Tom, you and I are cool. You too Ethan." "Does this mean I am out at school now?" Ethan wants to know. "Hell know, it means you guys are out to me. If you ever want to come out at school, I'll be behind you guys and kick anyone's ass who gives you problems. We've been friends since Kindergarten Tom, I'd be hurt if you thought I'd ever not be your friend over something like this." Tom was silent for a bit, "you never know what anyone is going to think Tony, even from close friends. I think you've met my cousin Devin from Colorado, he is a year older than us. He came out his sophomore year in Boulder and thought everything would be okay, but he lost two of his closest friends over it, two he never thought would care, but he was wrong and some guys he thought would be dicks told him they didn't care one way or the other. So yeah, you never know, but thanks. It is nice know you are my friend still." Tom steps behind Ethan and looks at Tony from behind him, "but I'd kinda want pizza." End of Chapter Fourteen