Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2020 19:51:16 +0000
From: tom <amias09@fastmail.fm>
Subject: Bog Off chapter 35

Bog off!

Authors note: All the usual caveats and dire warnings apply so you read
this at your peril. Naturally, no representation of any person, animal,
vegetable or mineral is intended, yet should you recognise yourself at some
point in the story in conjunction with any of the aforementioned just think
yourself very, very lucky to be included!

As ever all comments, ideas, suggestions, good bad or indifferent always
welcome and my apologies in advance for any typo's you may spot.

Tom
email: amias09@fastmail.fm

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

>>>>> Health Warning: I feel obliged to point out that under no
circumstances can this story be described as subtle, it is written very
much tongue in cheek and relies on humour, if not decidedly black humour
for it to deliver - so beware, some situations and characters will
undoubtedly appear quite gross!

Ergo, should you desire something of a far more erudite and sophisticated
nature, I can but recommend my highly acclaimed "Brief Encounters" and "The
Lab Technician" series.
___________________________________________________________________

Chapter 35 -- Revenge of the brown banana

Saturday finally dawned. Not that Kelvin would ever be awake to greet the
morning light even though he had been keenly anticipating it. It was, he
had been promising himself to be the day that would reveal the innermost
secrets of the female sex.

Well hopefully. Maybe.

Quite understandably where Kelvin was concerned, the previous evening had
been a frantic blur of sexual activity especially since on his way home
from school he had picked up the key to the shed from Byron at the
cottage. Everything centred on his overactive, if limited imagination of
what Cilla possessed by way of girly bits and just what she would or would
not do by way of a solo performance. The big question was whether she would
allow him to blindly fumble about in her gooey girly crevices, and he in
return grant her access to the family jewels, which would inevitably be
contained in some possibly, relatively clean Guptha's International
underpants.

Kelvin was in possession a very high threshold onanistic ability before the
joys of masturbation would begin to pall. Amazingly even that limit had not
been exceeded the previous evening which had been spent happily ejaculating
on an hourly basis into his Guptha's International bright orange with black
trim briefs. Even watching television he knew no shame and would play with
himself then suddenly pop out into the hallway to bring himself off in the
commercial break, so by bedtime the front of his jeans was soaked and he
reeked of semen. With father Wayne down at the pub, cocooned in her cloud
of cigarette smoke Doreen had a pretty good idea of what was happening, but
since she could neither see nor face the confrontation other than giving
him damning looks she kept quiet. Jason didn't seem to notice, mainly
because he was equally engaged in a similar operation albeit in a more
subtle manner whilst visualising undressing the young Clint in the bus
shelter.

So, the evening progressed until bedtime arrived, when with his cock
showing little signs of tiring and spurred by the lewd thoughts running
around in his mind Kelvin retired to bed. As would be expected from him,
still wearing the sodden briefs he had also taken under the bedclothes the
truly revolting Dunlopillo cushion which doubled as either self-lubricating
boy bum or gooey girly thing, of course he also took with him the full
range of anal excitable accoutrements.

It being Friday night in the Twerks household meant that not only were
Jason and Kelvin on the ejaculatory circuit, but Wayne was scheduled to do
his husband style duty on returning from the pub and give Doreen a major
seeing too with his huge cock. And, so the night progressed from one sticky
climax to the next with Kelvin eventually falling into an exhausted sleep
even if still impaled on the slushy cushion with half a candle pushed well
up his bottom.

The following morning feeling fulfilled in more ways than one and with
Wayne going off to work some overtime Doreen realised it was gone eleven,
definitely time to rouse Kelvin. Outside the bedroom there were no signs of
actual life or even the usual rhythmic boy type noises, slowly she opened
the bedroom door and allowed the mandatory cloud of cigarette smoke to
precede her into the darkened room.

"Wot a mess!"

Kelvin's room was not a place to enter without good reason. The atmosphere
was pungent with stale socks, adolescence, sweat and semen all combining to
verge on the toxic. Tripping over what appeared to be most of his wardrobe
scattered all over the floor she fought her way to the window to pull the
curtains back and open the window.

Rather like Dracula, the daylight was quite unwelcome, the untidy heap on
the bed started to move and after some very limited movement a croaky voice
called out. "I's ain't wanking yer this morning, so sod off and close they
bleeding curtains!"

"Don't yer tell I to sod off," snapped Doreen, her good humour rapidly
going up with the cloud of Embassy smoke along with the generous offer to
masturbate, "it's gone eleven, get out that bleeding bed and start getting
up!"

"Oh... shit!" the muffled voice had now realised it wasn't Jason who had
come in to offer his services as had so often had happened of late.

"I'll count to three so hurry up ... one... two..."

"Wait... wait.."

"I ain't waiting!" the masturbation offer had really annoyed her, there
would be retribution of one sort or another.

"Ooh.."

Other than the bedding starting to move a little quicker in different
directions not a lot happened. Beneath in the fetid darkness panic had
broken out, Kelvin was desperately trying to find somewhere to hide the
revolting cushion which relentlessly continued to deposit it's foul cargo
over whatever it came in contact with.

"Wot the hell's that?" said Doreen looking down as something fell to the
floor and rattled around. The wooden dildo sticky with Vaseline looked up
from the semen stained carpet by the bed. "Wot is it, something to do with
that brother of yer's?"

"Ahh.. no..." Kelvin knew very well what it was and he also knew very well
that when Doreen said she was counting to three she really meant it.

"Two and half..." she paused, "and d'yer really think's I don't know what
yer two gets up too?"

All manner of things now appeared to be happening under the bedding, in
fact everything with the exception of the occupant appearing.

"Three."

"Alright.. alright!" the thought of her examining the wooden dildo was
enough.

Miraculously the bedding was moving in a vertical direction, it's aim was
to stand on the bed. Kelvin's cunning plan was to wrap himself in the
bedding and somehow when once wrapped he could keep the infamous cushion
out of sight and therefore out of mind.

However, the plan had a couple of major flaws which he was yet to discover.

"My god, yer a right mess!"

It was something of an understatement, a total understatement for he really
did look awful and very, very, very embarrassed that his alliance with
Jason was no longer a secret. Clawing at the bedclothes to hold both them
and the cushion in position he moved nervously from one foot to the other
as Doreen's mood changed to one of concealed amusement. Beneath the
bedclothes the cushion being clutched so tightly was now positively oozing
cold vintage semen which was running down his body to his legs, dozens if
not hundreds, thousands of seminal infusions had ensured it really was one
wet, smelly, squidgy, cold, clammy revolting mess.

Doreen was determined to extract at least her pound of flesh and if not
more, she pointed to the remaining bedding rucked up around his feet which
shimmering in the daylight having obviously suffered a major pearlescent
instilment during the night.

"Looks like yer's started without him!"




Having returned the previous afternoon chaperoned by Dave, who had caught
the same bus, Luke had looked distinctly wrecked on his arrival at home,
which as they told his mother rather implausibly was caused by being ragged
on the bus. Whereas, the truth was that Dave found it impossible to keep
his hands off the bespectacled Luke, especially since his fly was gaping
wide open beneath the school bag. Despite all that had happened during the
day Luke found that he couldn't rebuff Dave's advances if he wanted too and
even offered a firm erection to play with since being groped on the bus had
really turned him on. That wasn't to say that Luke had remained totally
passive for he had managed to worm his way inside Dave's fly and explore
the clammy ripples of fat that surrounded his genitalia.

However, on their arrival at the house his mother looked rather sceptical,
especially since he appeared to be making an effort to keep his trousers
out of view with his school bag and some obvious help from Dave, who for
his part in the charade now thought there should be a price to pay. It was
an absolute bargain really, for on following closely behind Luke as they
went up the stairs to his bedroom Dave pushed his hand right between his
legs.

"Can yer cum again?" whispered Dave. "Even if yer can't will yer wank us
off?"

Near the top step Luke stopped, after the episode on the bus the risk of
doing something on the stairs was very tempting especially with his mother
below in the kitchen serving to only heighten the risk. Yet in theory,
after a day of continual arousal and repeated ejaculation he should have
been verging on the incapable, however being with Dave and with sex
dominating the entire horizon the idea really appealed.

"Wot?" he turned his head, vision still partially fogged by the coating of
dried semen on the lenses he looked down. "Only if us does it right now!"

"Wot now on the bloody stairs?" replied a surprised, but excited
Dave. "Now?"

"Well us didn't have no time to do nothing on the bus did us?" he
grinned. "And, as me zips broke get yer hand in, then undo yer zip so's I's
can wank yer off as well."

"Do it quick then, so's I's cums all over me pants and," Dave paused to
look down to the hallway below, "and so if yer cums in yer's, well can us
swop then?"

"Yeah... but, yer might have to rub it a bit more than normal, it's had a
lotta use!"

Nearly two frantic minutes later with Dave giggling nervously whilst
keeping watch on the hallway below Luke felt Dave's cock begin to jerk in
his hand. It pumped out as much semen as it could muster which Luke
dutifully smearing all around inside of Dave's briefs knowing he was to be
soon wearing them himself. As expected Luke was not quite so quick to
climax, but with Dave applying maximum masturbatory effort eventually
things were well on the way with even a little precum appearing once Dave's
sticky thumb started to rub across the piss slit.

"Tell us when yer gonna cum and I's push it back inside quick so yer pants
gets it all." said Dave, who with the extended masturbation had had decided
to make the operation easier by pulling Luke's cock out from both his
trousers and the sagging spunky underpants.

As for Luke himself there was little doubt that lately he was mentally
tottering near the top of the slippery slope of boyish pleasures and quite
unsure whether to get off or continue down. It had though already begun to
feel that going down was easier that trying to scrabble back up, for
instance having started to lick his fingers after their foray into Dave's
briefs he really savoured the taste knowing that he had been the direct
cause of Dave's pleasure.

"Oh shit, feels like I's nearly there," gasped Luke, "get it back in me
pants quick!"

"If you two want to come down, I've got a bottle of Coke." called out Mrs
Morgan from the hallway.

Shocked, Dave stopped rubbing, his hand still wrapped around Luke's
twitching cock, he looked at Luke. "Oh fuck... I's didn't hear her come out
the kitchen!"

"Oh fuck!" echoed Luke. "Don't think she's looked up here, sounded like her
was still in the kitchen."

"Oh fuck!" Dave was white with fright. "Fuck `spose she do!"

"Oh no... oh no... oh fuck!" Luke looked down, quite where his body had
found such reserves of stamina and semen he had no idea, but spunk had
already started to dribble over Dave's fingers and onto the carpet below.

"Or shall I bring it up?" ever the dutiful mother, with thoughts of his
appearance forgotten Luke was her only son and it was so nice for him to
bring a friend home.

"We's coming now!"

Of course it was the wrong thing to say and despite Dave's distress he soon
started to giggle. "Cor that's funny!"

"Shit! Wipe that cum off yer hand and get down quick," Luke turned to push
Dave down in front of him, "stand in front of I's so's she can't see me
fucking trousers!"

With Dave duly wiping his spunky hand on his shirt they set off to arrive
in the kitchen looking even more dishevelled and far guiltier than they had
minutes earlier.

"I've made some little cakes today, maybe you'd like one?" she said putting
a plate piled with fairy cakes on the kitchen table alongside the bottle of
Coke. "I haven't seen you for a while David?"

"Oh.. oh, I's been around like," replied Dave doing his best to smile and
stand in front of Luke as he greedily eyed up the cakes, "at school and
that like."

"Well sit down if you want and have a cake.. or two."

"Ooh.. thanks."

A spunky hand immediately reached out ready to grab the largest cake as he
pulled up the chair nearest the plate. Oblivious that his fly was still
unfastened after Luke's invasion he sat down and immediately displayed the
white, translucent cotton inside, it winked, glistened and clearly showed
the pink head of his erection through the fly.

With Luke sexually active since he was twelve and having developed a
propensity to ejaculate into his underwear, it was all too easy for Mrs
Morgan to recognise the signs and so it was all too obvious what Dave must
have been doing. A very, very embarrassed, if surprised Mrs Morgan hovered
by the table not too sure what to do or say, let alone allow the thought to
cross her mind that there was a possibility they might have just finished
doing something together.



That same afternoon not too far away on the same estate, Joel had arrived
home from school in a very excited state. The events in the dining hall
having acted as a catalyst to push his crush on Luke towards a climax, the
fact confirmed by his very narrowly avoiding what could have been a sticky
situation on the bus going home.

Luckily, as he saw from the note on entering the house his mother was
visiting a neighbour which meant he could immediately indulge and attain
the long awaited climax. The thing was though, how could he best imagine
that Luke was with him? Dare he allow himself to think that Luke could be
persuaded to enter into a little anal play and if so, what could he use to
replicate luke's cock?

The answer was right before him on top of the fridge and came in the shape
of a fruit bowl containing a three bruised apples, a wrinkly orange and a
couple of aging brown bananas. Immediately seeing possibilities he gabbed
the bananas and rushed upstairs to his bedroom trying to recall whether
Dave said he had peeled it before insertion!

Whatever, thinking there was no time to loose he began to throw his school
clothes off and then dived under the bed to retrieve from amongst the
jumble of yellowing, starched handkerchiefs and torn pyjamas the remains of
the pot of Vaseline now kept for special occasions. Bending over in front
the wardrobe mirror and looking back between his legs he pulled his
buttocks apart and ran a finger slowly up and down his crack. There was
something really arousing about playing with himself in the mirror as the
same finger now loaded with Vaseline was swiftly inserted up to the knuckle
and slowly manipulated in a circular motion. With one eye watching the
actions of the wayward finger and the other looking at the brown bananas he
made the decision, since the fruit was going squidgy it was going to make
it's entrance skin and all!

Undoubtedly the use a firm, peeled banana had been tried by many an
enterprising adolescent and unlike carrots, bananas came shrink wrapped
with their very own variety of lubricant sealed in. Joel was so excited at
the prospect it never occurred to him that he was about to go down in the
anal's of anal history with the insertion of the complete, squidgy banana
and that the very act itself could prove something of a challenge. A
challenge indeed, because it refused to go in and he was afraid of forcing
it lest it split and loose it's customary penile resemblance. Problems,
more problems. The answer entailed considerable thought and the glaringly
obvious solution was eventually reached with the judicious use of one, two
and then three fingers to relax his sphincter sufficiently to start feeding
it all in. Stuffing actually.

So there he was, happy as a pig in pig-poo, prancing around in front the
mirror with an over-ripe banana stuffed right up his bottom, wearing his
sisters very tight pink panties and masturbating wildly whilst gyrating
around. Understandably, it didn't take him that long to reach the much
anticipated climax, so moments later he was skipping about while massaging
the plentiful discharge of semen into the thin nylon material of the pink
panties with the banana still in position and his sphincter tightly closed.

Deciding it was an utterly fantastic way to spend the end of the afternoon
after school, he resolved to tell Luke all about it the next morning. In
fact, it would be an excellent excuse to call round and encourage him to
partake in a joint venture, that was if only they could find somewhere
suitable where they wouldn't be disturbed, maybe even a couple more brown
bananas.


"Joel are you in? I'm back now."

Any such daydreams were immediately shattered by his mothers shrill voice
calling up the stairs.

"I.. uummm.. I's just... uumm... I's... I's, I's just going... to the bog!"
he managed to stutter back in shock.

"What? I didn't catch that!" she called back.

"I's needs to go to the bog!" he shouted in desperation.

"No need to shout! Was it something you've eaten?"

"Wot!"

With semen percolating through the thin panties to drip down on the carpet
and bereft of any further ideas he grabbed the clothes on the floor and
shot off towards the bathroom. Shocked at almost being caught in the act he
locked the bathroom door behind him and only then realised there was no
means of getting the banana back again. Nothing happened when he prospected
with his fingers or even when he vigorously poked about with the green
plastic handle of his toothbrush, it refused to budge and annoyed it's skin
had just been punctured. In a state of absolute panic and realising he dare
not stay in the bathroom any longer lest his mother think there really was
something really wrong, he had to make an appearance downstairs before she
came looking for him.

It was with great difficulty that he managed to pull up the school trousers
over his erection since they had started to stick to the spunky panties
which in turn were leaving semen stains everywhere. And, just to complete
the image on the way downstairs he noticed the white shirt was no longer
white, as even that had several patches of dried semen all over it courtesy
of the communal dinner break and the squirtathon.

"Was it something you've eaten? I've always thought those school dinners
were rubbish!" she observed as he arrived walking as though his legs were
almost crossed. "You look a mess and what's that over your shirt?"

"Wot? Oh.. nah.. uumm.. I's alright now.." he ignored the shirt question.

"I was doing sausages for tea, so maybe if you're bottom's a bit loose
you'd better have a boiled egg or something!"

"Nah, nah.. I's be fine.. it's alright."

It wasn't alright and it wasn't just his very sore cock nor the tight,
sticky underwear that was dictating the agenda. The banana was exacting
it's revenge for having been violently poked about with the toothbrush and
the soft, squidgy contents were really determined to escape from the brown
skin. Which, having escaped a transformation had been taking place with the
fruit content itself morphing into a revolting banana enema, even as he
spoke it was bubbling in his bowels on the verge of detonating.

"Well if you think so, but I'm sure it's they school dinners."

He suddenly began to shake, she watched in amazement. "You alright?"

"Nah.. nah.. oh.. fffffuuu... nah.. nah.. oooh.."

With one hand on his stomach and the other grabbing at his bottom he
started to sprint for the stairs, every second counted. If only they had a
downstairs toilet. But, how many seconds were needed? Would he even make
it? Was the toilet seat up? And, would there be enough time to peel off the
stuck on, super tight, super spunky, pink nylon panties before the forced
laxation?

"It's a boiled egg for you!" she called out after him. "Lucky it's Saturday
tomorrow and there's no school!"



Indeed it was Saturday and somehow Joel had survived the evening without
having to pay homage for the fourth time to the power of the liquidised
banana enema, he had though missed out on the sausage and chips and instead
had to settle for the boiled egg! However today was new day and on waking
around ten he immediately set to work on his erection fantasising about
Luke even if his bottom was still feeling a mite sore. His idea was very
simple, to call on Luke that morning and hopefully find him still in bed
masturbating in his white matching underwear which should still be sticky
from the night's hectic exertions. Thinking that at least the part of the
fantasy regarding the underwear could be true he embarked on a search of
his chest of drawers being pretty sure that somewhere were a pair of old
white briefs, which if visiting Luke would surely be de rigueur.

Indeed there were, but sadly the matching vest had been used as cumrag some
time back. Albeit they were a little tight, but not tight enough to stop
him concluding his fantasy and ejaculating in them before going down to
breakfast where he would be sure to be interrogated by his mother on the
state of his bowels! The mandatory interrogation over and hoping his almost
erect cock would not be noticed under his jeans, he set off for Luke's
house. Walking about in spunky underpants was as many a boy knew quite a
turn on and it was getting on for eleven o'clock when he arrived outside of
Luke's house. The ultra neat garden was something of a landmark, as was
Joel's full-blown erection caused by sliding around in the spunky briefs
and of lecherous thoughts of what Luke could be doing in bed.

"Oh, it's uumm.. now, it's," Mrs Morgan, had diverted to answer the front
door from her intended trip to wake Luke up, she tried to think who he was,
"it's Joel isn't it?"

"I's wonders if Luke's in?" Joel smiled having picked a lopsided stance by
the door frame which didn't emphasise the hand nor the bulge in the
pocketless pocket.

"He's still in bed asleep," she replied, "and, I was just thinking of
waking him up."

"Oh, oh I's see's... oh, well then.. oh.." Joel sounded so very
disappointed, his cock started to soften despite visions of Luke asleep in
bed.

"So," she smiled, it was time to use the situation to her advantage and so
avoid having maternal words over him getting up so late and the state of
his room which used to be so neat and tidy, "so, well, why don't you go up
and wake him up for me?"

"Ooh.. wot!" Joel's cock immediately lurched back to a state of hardness,
through the pocketless pocket and spunky briefs he pinched the wet
end. "Can I's?"

"You know where his room his, don't you, tell him to come down for
breakfast."

Trembling with excitement, as was his cock Joel tried not to run up the
stairs, he approached the bedroom door and listened out for the all too
familiar noises of teenage hand working on teenage cock. Strangely all was
silent, for surely all self- respecting adolescents should be wanking
themselves into a coma if in still in bed by eleven on a Saturday morning!
With a shaking hand he grasped the door handle and very gently turned it,
pushing the door open a few inches the room was still in semi-darkness with
no sounds of life.

Creeping across the room and almost tripping over a shoe he stopped to take
stock, plainly the room was no longer the model of tidiness as when he had
first visited for there were now clothes strewn all over the floor.

Most noticeable was the strong, wonderfully intoxicating aroma of Luke and
semen, which wasn't too surprising seeing as Luke's school clothes had been
so heavily infused the previous day. Plus somehow during the previous
evening despite his ailing cock he had managed to ejaculate three times on
going to bed aided by further lurid fantasies which alternated between Dave
and Joel. Yet although tired from the night's exertions his mind was in
overdrive and having something of a truly erotic dream, very vivid, almost
verging on a wet dream which revolved around Joel joining him in bed, with
both dressed in white underwear.

On watching the bedclothes occasionally move as Luke approached his slow
and unscheduled climax, Joel was pretty close to ejaculation himself having
pushed a hand through his now open fly to placate his aching cock. Thus,
sitting on the sit of bed it was with great trepidation that he slipped his
arm under the covers and gently groped around confirming that Luke was
lying face down and wearing the white vest and briefs. By now Joel really
was excited and though Luke was asleep he somehow managed to move his hand
so that a spunky finger could trace it's way between the tight buttocks
only to stop on reaching the mattress, slimy from previous emissions.

From the mess it was obvious Luke had ejaculated more than once and was
something which Joel found incredibly erotic, so much so that he really had
great difficulty in holding back from climaxing himself. Aided by the
surplus of lubrication to between Luke's sheet and briefs it took very
little effort for Joel to slide his hand between them. It seemed that his
fantasy coming true, for once he had cupped the head of the cock through
the slimy briefs Luke automatically started to hump the palm of the strange
hand.

In fact Joel was so aroused that he was the first to ejaculate and for the
second time that morning filled his underpants with hot spunk, any excess
forced through his briefs and into his jeans. Within the next few seconds
Luke followed suit, such was the graphic power of his dream that he
generated an unbelievable quantity of sperm welling up in Joel's hand and
oozed onto the slimy bedding below. Amazingly, with Luke breathing very
heavily he did not seem to wake even when Joel slowly carefully withdrew
his hand from underneath, watching for signs of life and so aroused he
started to masturbate yet again as he licked Luke's sperm from his fingers,
it was then that he had a brilliant idea.

"Luke... come on it's time to wake up." Joel shook him by the
shoulder. "Yer mother said I's should wake yer up!"

"Who? Fuck.. wot... fuck... wot's yer doing here!" Luke blinked, the
subject of his most wonderful fantasy was actually sat on his bed, a spunky
hand grabbed out his glasses.

"Well I's come round to see yer and then yer mum said I's should wake yer
up."

"Oh..." twisting himself round so he could sit up, the reality of a bed
slimy with an excess of spunk was now very apparent, "uumm.. shit!"

"Looks like yer's slept in that nice vest of yer's?" Joel smiled and
pointed to the white vest from which a pair of white, none too muscly arms
protruded.

"Oh fuck!" even though it was Joel, he was still embarrassed for he guessed
Joel would then correctly assume he had had an evening of playing in his
underwear.

"Have yer got they matching pants on?" Joel grinned. "I got white on
today."

"Course I fucking have!" Luke managed a weak smile. "Yer fucking knows I's
has."

"Can I's put me hand in and have a feel?" Joel continued excitedly. "Has
yer had yer morning wank yet?"

Several times over would have been the correct answer, Luke grinned and
nodded to Joel's open fly having noticed the fresh semen. "Might have, I's
can see yer has!"

"Oh fuck!" Joel looked down, his turn to be embarrassed having forgotten
about it. "Bollocks!"

"When d'yer do that?"

"Just now," blurted out Luke, "look truth is... well after yesterday I was
so excited at coming round this morning and when I's told I's could wake
yer up, well.. well, I fucking cum didn't I? And I's wore me white pants
for yer!"

"Yer a dirty fucker!" Luke laughed. "Well yer ain't the only one, `cause
I's just had a fucking gert wet dream! Get yer hand in and see if yer can
get us off again!"

Much giggling and groping followed, with Joel hoping to achieve another one
of his fantasy goals by slowly allowing his hand to squelch though the
confines of Luke's briefs and thence between his legs. Once there it seemed
the perfect time to relay his experience with the over-ripe banana, no
matter how embarrassing it was in the retelling.

"So d'yer push things up yer bum a lot then?" asked Luke after hearing the
sad tale of the banana whilst desperately trying to sound innocent and not
too interested in such disgusting acts.

"Not a lot, nah," replied Joel being decidedly economical with the truth
and hoping to steer the conversation towards Luke and his more secretive
predilections, "I's `spect yer do it with yer fingers don't yer?"

"Well.. bit, I's `spose... uumm.. wot else d'yer use?"

"Yer's tried a carrot I's `spose?" said Joel sidestepping a definitive
answer.

"Oh yeah," Luke nodded, it was time to move things on, "so has yer ever
uumm.. well.. yer knows.. like done something with... well like somebody
else?"

"Wot d'yer mean?" asked Joel, his hand still inside Luke's briefs, "d'yer
mean like instead of having a wank together, but uumm.. well, sorta feeling
bums instead?"

"I's `spose." Luke was nervous, he was afraid of loosing the conversation
and unsure just how keen Joel might be to partake. "Yer don't reckon
that'll be a bit dirty like?"

"Nah, be alright wunnit, `cause yer don't mind me wanking yer do yer?" Joel
decided to add an extra element. "So, `spose I's felt me own bum first,
then yer's after?"

"So," said Luke excitedly, his cock lurching inside the hot, sticky briefs
confirming his interest, "so's I'd watch yer doing yer bum.. then yer'd do
mine?"

"Yeah, use the same finger I's `spose!" Joel smiled in the gloom, he didn't
think that even Kelvin, Bogbrush or Byron would have thought of this
bizarre variation, but if helped seduce Luke then why not. "But we's can't
do it not now, not with yer mum downstairs `cause we's might get caught."

"Oh.. oh, yeah, I' spose yer right," Luke was obviously very disappointed,
but relieved to hear Joel was certainly very willing, "yeah, yeah yer right
with our mum and that. But, d'yer reckon there's somewhere we's could try
it soon like?"

"Let's think about it." Joel really wanted a little taster. "Look while I's
got me hand in yer pants, shall I check that it's gonna go to the right
place for when we do does it?"

"Oh, wot? Oh, yeah, check with yer finger now yer means?" asked Luke
quickly deciding to play the innocent and go along with Joel's game. "So
then we'd knows that it'll go in alright wouldn't us?"

"Yeah, yer got it, just a quick check like!" confirmed a smiling Joel.
============================================================

Chapter 36 to follow