Date: Tue, 13 Sep 2005 12:42:23 -0700 (PDT)
From: gaymormonwriter@yahoo.com
Subject: Born To Be A Missionary Chapter 36   adult/youth

Born To Be A Missionary
Chapter 36

(Author's notes: The usual legal information. This work is copywrited. You
must be of age to read this story. All comments are encouraged.)



>From Joel's perspective:



I awoke when the sun finally chased the darkness from our motel room. I was
lying here completely naked as my lover laid next to me, cuddle against
me. My arm around his shoulder and arm crossed over my chest. I looked down
upon him, thanking God he was with me. I don't think I could have ever been
happy in my life if it wasn't for Terry. He makes me so happy and last
night I finally showed him that my love for him was genuine.

When I was inside him, connected, he was awesomely beautiful. It felt so
right, it felt so incredible, that the connection that has grown between us
has become paramount to anything us in our lives. I feel so at peace about
Brian now.

Brian was my first love, though the impact was far more devastating, far
more tragic. As I close my eyes, I wonder how the last 3 weeks in my life
have been so irreversibly affected. In the year since Brian died, the last
3 weeks have been the best. I had to face my inner self with an attempt to
join Brian, yes, now I feel that was what I was trying to do. Experience
the dream and find Terry and fall in love all over again has brought me
full circle.


My life now is totally exposed. I am, what I dreaded the most, completely
"Out". But I am so happy about it.

I opened my eyes and looked down at my self.  I was totally naked, as is my
heart and soul. Free from my grief, free from my guilt, I can go on with my
life with Terry.

I look down at Terry's beautiful body. He is completely smooth. His chest
is defined and his abs could easily have a six-pack if he worked on it. I
gazed upon his penis, soft and with an ample foreskin that I truly
enjoy. His legs feature some light dusting of blond hair. But it's his
penis I come to back. I just stared at it and marveled at how an
uncircumcised one works and looks and feels.

I didn't realize that I had gotten an erection until I felt fingers wrap
around it.

"Are you finally awake?" I asked.

"Yes and I see you are and so is this" he said as he squeezed it.

"You must like it?"

"I do, Joel, I really do. It's a part of you that makes it that much more
important."

I kissed the top oh his head and noticed that his penis was stretching
itself through his foreskin until I could see the tip of his corona peeking
out from it.

"I see something else is awake." I said.

"Yes, I know. It wants to make love to you."

Terry turned his face to mine and kissed me.

"I want to feel it inside you." He said.

I kissed Terry back and said, "I would like that."

Terry climbed on top of me and started kissing on the neck and shoulders. I
ran my hands over his chest and down his abdomen and found his wonderful
erection and proceeded to pull and squeeze on it. I felt my own erection
sliding up between his legs.

Finally, he moved on down my chest and belly as he made his way to my
erection and engulfed it into his mouth. I can feel how much he loves doing
that to me. His fingers moved down between my legs and I opened my self to
his movements. Between his mouth and his fingers, I knew that I was being
made love to and the best was yet to come.

I reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the lube and passed it down to
Terry. He took it and began using it to get me ready for him. When he and I
both felt we were ready, he slid into so gently, so tenderly, that I nearly
lost it right than.

Slowly he moved inside me, letting me feel his love through our
connection. All my thoughts of the last 3 weeks were gone as all I could do
was enjoy the sensations of Terry's erection, gliding himself smoothly and
what seemed effortlessly.

Watching his face looking down upon me, his eyes full of contentment and
love, I feel it, I see it, I need it, I crave it, I am one unto it with him
as I watch his eyes begin to stir, his erection seemed harder and his
movements began to shake as I felt him near his orgasm. I knew he has
wanted this for a long time with me and now he is about to consummate our
love by flooding me his ejaculation.

The shudder of his body began as I watched him heave at me with each
movement, I felt him forcing his penis deeper inside me, pushing his climax
out of himself.

I watched him open his mouth gasping for air as he reached his moment of
pleasure and his whole body shook and twitched and as I felt him shooting
inside me with strong exertions. He froze and I could feel his erection
still pulsing inside me.

After a few seconds, he slowly lowered himself to me, slipping out of me as
he reached my lips and kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him in his post orgasmic glow. I
kissed his face and his neck and told him how much I loved him.

I pushed him onto his back and grabbed the lube and prepared myself and
slipped inside him and it was just as incredible as last night. It wasn't
long before I too released inside of him.

When I was done, I laid down beside my lover, both of us a sticky, gooey
mess. I knew in our afterglow that I would never be with anyone else in my
life. I knew Terry would be all I would ever need in my life. I felt it in
heart and my heart doesn't lie to me.



>From Jim's perspective:



I picked up the phone to call Adam and Aaron, I wanted them here this
afternoon to meet with Jared.  The secretary informed that Adam was out of
town but Aaron would take my call.

"Hi Dr. Haines." He said picking up.

"It's Jim, we are both about the same age so call me Jim."

Aaron chuckled and said, "Alright Jim."

"Good, now that is settled." I said.

"What can I do for you today, Jim?"

"I have a young man that I would like you to meet. He will be in my office
this afternoon. I think he could use the support of another older gay man
in his life right now."

"Just a sec as I check my calendar for the day. What time would you like me
there?"

"About 4 would be good. That gives me an hour with him."

"Good. Looks like I am free. I will be there."

"Thanks, Aaron, see you than."

"Bye."

The hung up the phone and called Tyler's apartment and his roommate
answered and told me Tyler went to Jacksonville with Adam.

I called Joel and Terry's to confirm our appointment on Friday and was told
by Terry's mother that the two of them were in Salt Lake City and wouldn't
be back until late Thursday and that yes, they were planning on keeping the
appointment.

I wondered what they were doing in Salt Lake.

I hang up and called Rick at work. He answers.

"HI lover."

"HI lover."

"Miss me?"

"Uh...no."

We both crack up laughing.

"I called to see if your mystery guy came back this morning?"

"No, haven't seen him."

"Well, you'll know what to do for him when he does."

"I know."

"What's for dinner tonight?" I asked.

"I am not cooking tonight."

"Why not?"

"Jamie and Steve are cooking steaks for us on the grill."

"Is that safe, those two around fire?"

Rick laughed and said, "Yeah, I am sure."

"Okay, well I will let you go. I love you."

"I love you, too."

We hung up and I went out to the waiting room for my next patient.



>From Adam's perspective:



Tyler and I were sitting in the restaurant waiting on breakfast. I looked
at him, young, good looking. I could imagine him in his suit and tie,
knocking on doors as a missionary with another equally good-looking
companion. He was reading a brochure about Jacksonville.

Occasionally, he would glance up at me with his big, blue puppy dog eyes. I
knew I could easily fall for him, but now isn't the time. I knew he liked
older men, but I am not sure how it would work yet. Last night he surprised
when he asked to sleep with me. Immediately I thought...SEX, but he just
didn't want to sleep alone in his bed. I let him sleep in my bed and
NOTHING happened.

The only thing that I did see was inside the gapping hole of his boxers
this morning and got to see what he had poking out some. But he doesn't
even know about that since I got up before he awakened and took my
shower. In the shower all I could think about was carnal thoughts about
Tyler and I immediately chastised myself since I was his employer and he
was my employee.

But it didn't help my excited appendage between my legs. So I had to relent
and take care of it. Damn, it didn't take long.

And here I am, looking at Tyler. Wondering if we have an adventure in front
of us or am I just an old guy with wishful thinking.

I guess since our talk in Dr. Haines office, he felt something with me,
maybe that is the reason he appears to be trying to get close.

"So how do you think the city council meeting will go tonight, Adam?"

His question brought me out of my daydreaming about him. Probably a good
thing it did.

"I don't know yet. Jacksonville has a strong Southern Baptist
influence. The politics here can get a little sticky."

Tyler nodded his head. The food arrived and my cell phone went off.



>From Joel's perspective:



Terry and I finally got out of bed and took our shower, together, of
course. We met Jenny for lunch downtown.

Than she gave us a tour of Temple Square telling us that the temple was
nearly built twice as it was taken down during it's first construction and
fitted with rollers for it's foundation so it could handle any
earthquakes. The square itself was beautiful. The Tabernacle was so much
smaller than I remember seeing on television during conferences. There was
a statue of Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon Church, off to a little
area to it's self.

I stood there, looking up at the temple, representing the marvelous works
of mankind, teaching it's people to be "Christ like" in all of their lives,
business and personal and than treat 'us' like lepers. Something Christ, in
all the writings, never did. I can still have faith in my heart and I know
I can have blessings in my life without the church in it. Being with Jenny
and Terry are a blessing for me.

Jenny took us all over Salt Lake City, down to Provo to show Terry the
Missionary Training Center or MTC as we call it. We than drove up into the
mountains along I-80 and stopped in Park City for an early dinner. Jenny
told us on the way back that west on I-80 at the border with Nevada in a
town called Wendover. The town's main industry is casinos. She joked that
they would call the town 'lose-over' since that is what you did when you
went over there.

It was nice to see Jenny laugh and smile. I could see the same sparkle in
her eyes that I saw in Brian's. I don't think she does that much these
days. She dropped us off at the motel. I gave her our phone numbers and
told her that I wish she would call my mother and talk to her. She promised
me she would.



>From Jim's perspective:



Jared came in and sat down in the rocker. His demeanor seemed okay.

"So how have you been since our last visit?"

"I'm okay."

"Do you feel any different?"

Jared thought for minute.

"Yeah, more at peace with myself. I had a long talk with Heavenly Father
about it. It really was a great feeling when I could say the words to
him. My journal is so full of my thoughts now."

"It's helping to actually acknowledge how you feel?"

"Oh yeah."

"Have you thought anymore about talking about it with your parents?"

"Yeah and no, I am not ready."

"There isn't a timetable to follow. It's all in your time, what ever you
want to do."

"I know. Just coming to my own terms on it. It completely changes your
whole thinking. I go through the day thinking that I am just a normal gay
guy. Takes some getting used to."

"You seem like you are handling it well."

"To be honest, Doctor, I actually feel better about it."

"How?"

"Well, I don't feel weird when I look another man. I actually mentally
think about how attractive they are. It was always awkward before,
resisting and fighting what I was thinking or feeling."

"And no guilt feelings?"

"No. I am so surprised, I thought I would but I don't."

"How are you sleeping? Any more weird dreams?"

Jared patted his pants pocket and I knew he had his feather with him.

"No, I have been sleeping fine since I outed myself to myself." He smiled
when he said that.

"You still carry the feather?"

"Yeah, it gives me some comfort. I don't know why, but it does."

"I have another patient who would keep a letter with him. Attachments can
be comforting."

Jared nodded his head. He seemed in deep thought.

"Doctor, where do I go from here? How do I do this?"

I looked at Jared. He's a nice looking young man. More of bookworm type,
but attractive. His eyes were looking at me, I could tell, wondering what's
it all about.

"Where you go from here is up to you. There is no handbook about what you
do or how you do it. You are a virgin to sex, so even going in that
direction takes some careful consideration."

Jared seemed to understand the complexities of the situation for sex.

"I am assuming you have been on the Internet looking for information?"

"Yeah, I have. I found several websites. Lots of chat rooms. I just read
what is posted. Some really weird people out there."

"Jared, I would seriously warn you against those chat rooms, some are
destructive with uncaring people. Not until you are ready and better
prepared to handle yourself."

"I was on gay.com and it had a lot information about health and lifestyle."

"Stay away from the gay.com chat rooms, for now. I would be careful about
AOL's chat rooms. Until you know what you want, keep yourself safe and away
from those."

I really wanted to drive home my point here.

"The gay lifestyle can be cruel and painful. When you are ready to
experience sex, it should be with someone you know and trust. The first
time is important and something you want to remember the rest of your life
as a wonderful moment in your time."

Jared nodded his head.

"There are a lot of good men out there, but you probably won't find them in
a chat room. Just be careful. Solitary exploration is what I recommend for
now."

"I understand."

"By the way, if you are on your family computer or even on your own and
someone has access to it, you need to delete your browser history. If
someone saw it, you would probably face some questions."

"It's okay, Doctor. I knew about that. I did it."

"Okay."

I got up and took down my copy of THE FRONT RUNNER.

"Here is something you can start with. It's a classic novel. I have given
it to other patients starting out."

Jared took the book.

I looked at the clock on the bookcase and figured Aaron was in the waiting
already.

"Jared?"

"Yeah."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes. More than you know."

"Okay, I need you to trust for what I am about to do."

Jared looked up at me, his eyes looking unsure.

"I promise you that it will be okay."

"Okay, Doctor. I trust you."

"Okay, I will be right back."

"Okay."

I left my office and found Aaron outside in the waiting room.

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long?"

"No." Aaron said.

"Good. Come with me." I said hoping he wouldn't be too unhappy with me with
what I was about to do.

Aaron and I walked in to my office. Jared was at the window looking at the
city again. He turned and immediately seemed tense.

"Jared this is Aaron, Aaron this is Jared."

Aaron walked over and offered his hand to shake. Jared slowly took his hand
and shook it.

"Why don't you guys come over here and sit down." I said.

Jared and Aaron sat down and waited for me. I looked at both of them.

"Have you two ever met before?" I asked.

Both sort of sized each other up and shook their heads no.

Interesting I thought.

Jared glanced at me and said, "Does he know about me?"

"No." I said.

I sensed he felt some relief to that.

"Jared, why don't you tell Aaron about the dream you had."

They both looked at me so strangely. Jared's look was of uncertainly,
Aaron's out of bewilderment.

"Jared, trust me on this. Remember?"

Jared nodded his head. He proceeded to tell Aaron about the dream he
had. He stopped short of telling him about Gabriel. Aaron looked both
astonished and slightly nervous.

"Jared, you can tell him."

Jared looked at me and than at Aaron. He told him about the visitation from
Gabriel.

Aaron turned to me.

"I guess we need to talk don't we?"

"Yes, I think we do."

I turned to Jared and said "You can show it to Aaron."

Jared moved his hand into his pocket and pulled his clear plastic bag.

"What's that Jared?" Aaron asked.

Jared took the feather out and handed it him.

"Gabriel's feather."

The look on Aaron's face was priceless. He reached for the feather and held
it.

"Wow" was all Aaron said.

Jared looked at me and than Aaron. He than looked harder at Aaron and the
recognition kicked in.

"You were there."

Aaron looked up at him and than at me.

"You can tell him, Aaron." I said.

"Yes, I had the same dream, as you know, about 8 of us would remember all
or part of the dream. I was one of the missionaries, with my friend Adam,
in the dream that defended Joel, Gary and Terry."

Jared looked stunned. I wasn't sure he believed him.

"But you don't look young enough." He said.

"It was a dream as Gary saw it, remembering Adam and me, younger as his
missionaries. You look a little young for the man at the table asking all
those questions, but than again, it was Gary's dream. We were just
witnesses and participants, so to speak."

Jared looked over at me, his eyes seeking answers.

"It's true, Jared. Joel and Terry are also patients of mine. Tyler, who was
witness for Gary is also a patient."

Jared was taking it in. Shocked but taking it in.

"So there are 8, I think I only counted 5 names involved. Adam, Aaron,
Tyler, Joel and Terry" Jared said.

"Yes, there is only one other that we know at this time, Kevin, Terry's
brother. And now yourself."

"So there is one more out there somewhere?" Jared asked.

"Yes, we believe now, with finding you, that there is one more."

"Wow" Jared said.

"Incredible isn't it Jared?" I asked.

"Yeah, it is. So everything that was revealed in the dream is true?"

"What was that?" I asked.

"That Kevin, Terry, Joel and Tyler are gay?"

"Jared, I..."

"Yes, they are" Aaron said interrupting me.

"Than you suspect me?" Jared asked Aaron.

"Of being gay?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah." Jared said.

"I assumed you were." Aaron said.

Jared gazed at me, closing his eyes and than he said, "Yes, I am gay"
opening his eyes and looking towards Aaron, "And I just accepted it a
couple of days ago."

"I know how you feel right now, Jared" Aaron said.

Jared eyes got wide.

"You're gay too?"

"Yes."

"Jared, are you okay with all of this?"

Jared looked over at me and smiled.

"Yes, I am, Doctor, I am fine. I understand why you brought Aaron to see
me."

"Good."

"Will I get to meet the other guys?" Jared asked.

"I believe you will. Remember I talked about the group I wanted to put
together?"

"Yes."

"Well, it is only going to be with you eight guys."

"Cool. I would like that."

"So I want to see you next week, Jared. Please remember what I told you
earlier."

"I will. I will read the book too," Jared said showing the book.

Aaron gave Jared back his feather.

Jared and Aaron said their goodbyes and he left.

Aaron turned towards me and sat down.

"Why didn't you tell me about Gabriel? I have two patients who might have
been traumatized from that experience," I said.

"I know, I agree, Adam and I should have said something sooner. We thought
we had more time. Apparently we are working on Gabriel's time schedule here
not ours."

I could understand that.

"When we met with Joel and Terry they seemed okay so we didn't push it. We
encouraged Joel to give Terry the missionary lessons so he could understand
what he heard and saw better."

"So were you planning on telling Tyler and Kevin too?"

"Oh yeah."

I looked pensive at Aaron and I could tell he didn't feel too comfortable
about being put on the spot.

"So where do I fit into all this?"

"Well, Gabriel told us there would be a facilitator to pull us all
together. It appears to be you. We were also told that we should set up a
foundation or organization to help young gay men with their struggles in
life so that they don't do what Terry and Joel ended up doing."

I thought about this new revelation about me. I wondered what I was getting
into here. I think the idea of the foundation would be great.

But I have been functioning as perceived in this dream. I immediately felt
a need to be cautious.

"There's more to it than what I have already heard?"

Aaron turned away from me. If he's going to lie to me, he just gave it
away. He turned back to me.

"Yes, but I feel that it would be best to discuss it with Adam here."

"Okay, the sooner the better so I can deal with this."

"I am truly sorry you had to hear about it this way."

"Well, now I know. If I am involved in this, I need all the information, so
when Adam gets back, let's get together and work on the foundation and
whatever else Gabriel has surprised us with."

"That feather was kind of a surprise in itself."

"Yeah, I know." I said.

"I noticed you gave Jared THE FRONT RUNNER. Great book."

"Yes, I gave it to Tyler and it seemed to help him."

"I read it about ten years ago, tough read."

"Yes, it is. They have been trying to make a movie of it for nearly 30
years. The history of the project is on a website."

"Really, I didn't know that."

"Maybe you have contacts that might help in that direction?"

Aaron thought for a minute.

"I don't know. Would have to work on that one. With the new movie BROKEBACK
MOUNTAIN coming out, that might just help since I am expecting that movie
to be big."

"I haven't heard of that one."

"It's based on a book also. About a couple of cowboys in the sixties who
fall in love and the trailer looks great. Adam and I are hoping to play the
movie in all of our locations."

"Have you read HARLAN'S RACE?"

"No, I haven't. What is it?" Aaron asked.

I walked over to my bookshelf and pulled the book out.

"Here. It's the sequel to THE FRONT RUNNER."

"Wow, I didn't know there was sequel. Great. I will read it tonight. Thanks
Jim."

"Your welcome. I personally thought it was better than the first book."

"I will have to let you know what I think than."

Aaron and I said our goodbyes and I headed home to Rick and the boys.



>From Adam's perspective:


"You have got to be kidding me?" I said into my cell phone.

"Nope, I just left his office," Aaron said.

"And you talked to this Jared about the dream?"

"Yeah, he even had the feather that Gabriel gave him."

"Well, we will talk about this when we get back. Tyler is just coming back
from the Men's Room. See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye Adam, have a safe trip back."

"Thanks. Bye."

I closed my cell phone and looked up as Tyler approached. Did I have some
news for him tonight.



>From Jim's perspective:


I got home and entered the house. I found Rick in the kitchen in his sexy
apron. There were all kinds of condiments on the kitchen table and of
course my mind began explore the possibilities. Rick turned around and came
into my arms. I kissed him, passionately. Rick saw me look over at the
kitchen table and just chuckled.

"Sorry, lover." He said, "We're not alone. The children are home."

"Oh darn and I was in the mood for mayonnaise."

Rick laughed at me.

"Maybe next time lover."

Rick than grabbed my face and kissed hard on the lips. When he backed away
I was nearly breathless.

"There, that should hold you until bedtime."

I grabbed him around the waist.

"I don't think so."

I knew he could feel my erection. He just winked at me and pulled away.

"We should go check on the boys and their fire, love."

"Damn."

Rick took my hand and we walked out onto the patio where we found Jamie and
Steve in a major lip lock.

"Isn't this the way you boys got in trouble in the first place?" I asked.

Both boys jumped back and Rick and I just laughed at them and they finally,
joined in.

Jamie came around and put his arms around me. He hugged me for all he was
worth. I loved it when any of my boys hugged. He than kissed me on the
cheek.

"So anything exciting happen for you guys today?" I asked and Rick and I
settled down at the picnic table.

"Yeah, Steve got some news from his brothers today." Jamie said.

Rick and I both looked at Steve as he came over and put his arms around my
son.

"Awesome. My hero boyfriend here might have made all the difference with my
Dad."

"Oh yeah?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, my brothers came over and said that after Jamie talked to my Dad, he
went to the Bishop about our family problems. The Bishop told him he had 2
choices. One, to continue with the way things are and continue to divide
the family or two, he could allow me visits to the family and make everyone
happy. The bishop told him he needed to make 'the right' choices to keep
his family first above all else."

"Okay, so you are giving all this credit to your Super Hero boyfriend
there?"

"Well with what Jamie and the Bishop told Dad he began talking more and
more about me with my mother and she told my brothers. I don't think Dad
would had the open mind that he needed when he talked to our Bishop if
Jamie here hadn't told him off."

"Well that sounds great if you Dad follows through with it."

"Yeah, the Bishop even encouraged Dad to bring me back to church. I didn't
know I could go back."

"Yes, you can. You won't be excommunicated because you haven't been to the
temple yet. But you won't be permitted to partake in the sacrament. Which I
think is totally wrong."

Steve nodded his head as he squeezed my son and kissed him on the cheek.

"How's the steaks?" Rick asked.

Both boys turned and went and checked on them.

"Be about five more minutes guys." Jamie called out, still being held by
Steve.

I looked up at Rick.

"Do you miss having what they have at their age?" I asked.

Rick thought for a moment and said, "Yes, in a way and no, I am glad it
didn't"

"Why?"

"Because I wouldn't have gone on my mission and met you and if you hadn't
gone on your mission and gotten married, you wouldn't have 3 wonderful sons
for me to love as my own."

"So you like how things turned out with us."

"Oh God yes, it couldn't have been better. I don't know where I would be
right now if I wasn't with you or you with me."

"I can see us as two seniors sitting on the beach in Florida, retired,
still holding hands."

"Oh, how romantic," Rick said. "And the canes leaning up against our
chairs. Wow!"

We laughed at each other and I leaned in and kissed him again.

"At least we should still be able to kiss." I said.

"Yeah, you better stick around so I can kiss you." Rick said.

"I am here, babe. I will always be here with you."

"You better." Rick said, like he owned me. Actually I think he does.

We both sat there, thinking and reflecting.

Dinner was great, the steaks were delicious and I hoped the boys would cook
again. Soon. It was a great night for all us together.

I wrote in my journal that night that I couldn't imagine being without
Rick. I watched how it tore Joel up to lose Brian and how Tyler lost
Gary. I looked over at Rick as he wrote in his journal and I prayed that
neither of us would ever have to go through that. But in reality, as in any
marriage, the odds are great that one of us will.



>From Adam's perspective:



Well the city council meeting went all right for the most part. The mayor
seemed uncommitted at the time, as there were some detractors at the
meeting not wanting us to put a theater in Jacksonville, knowing we would
play 'undesirable' movies. When Aaron and I proclaimed our selves as openly
gay businessmen. We sometimes catch heck for it, like tonight. I pointed
out at the meeting that we did not play pornographic movies, that our
movies are deemed 'socially acceptable'.

The group countered by saying, 'gay theme' movies were not acceptable in
downtown Jacksonville. If there was going to be a theater at the Landing,
that it should be open to the families of this great city.

I told them that Jacksonville had enough theaters that catered to the
families. I also reminded them that there was a gay bathhouse less than ten
minutes from where we were. They held their ground insisting the city not
approved our plans. I knew the city had financial incentives to open a
business downtown. That would cut our building costs greatly.

I also, told the city that if the plans fail, that I was already
negotiating with the new St. Johns Town Center, on the Southside area, for
a theater. The Center wanted a theater, but was so close to a megaplex,
that they feared they would never get one there. Ours would be ideal for
them, they told me.  In their deal, they would pay for half the building
costs, which was also very attractive to consider.

I gave the city 2 weeks to make up its mind before I proceeded with the
Town Center deal.

That night I told Tyler about the dream that he didn't know about including
Gabriel. I told him about Jared and his feather. I was selective about what
I told him, but he got most of it. I told him what Gary whispered to me
just before he left us.

He said, "Tell Tyler I love him with all my heart and to take care of him
for me."

I saw Tyler wiped a tear of two from his eyes. It seemed like he was
comforted by those words.

Tyler again asked to sleep with me and I said yes.

This time he removed his t-shirt and boxers and gave me a few seconds to
gaze upon his sexy naked body. It was breath taking. His body wasn't
defined or anything like that. His chest was hairy, but not heavy as the
hair continued down over his abdomen. His penis was about average size and
circumcised, not too tightly though. He had some foreskin bunched up behind
his head and he was soft.  The testicles were big though and his penis
stuck out from them. The legs were finely covered with more dark hair.

I was getting hard and getting hard fast. I was speechless as my mind
twisted all around, not sure what to think or do. Damn, it. I am the older,
more mature one here. I can't let this happen, but I wasn't even sure I
wanted it. Yeah, right, who I am kidding.

He climbed into the bed with me, laid his head on my shoulder and placed
his hand right over my genitals. He squeezed my penis gently.

"What's a bathhouse, Adam?" Tyler asked.



>From Joel's perspective:


It was our last night in Salt Lake City. I thought it was poetic that Terry
and I would consummate our love in this city, the world capital of the
Mormon Church. Before we went to bed I gave Terry a gift.

It was an empty journal. I explained to him how Mormons kept a journal of
their daily life. I advised him that the journal was private to him, but it
may be read later by family after his passing, like Brian's. I suggested he
write about his life from the beginning and than keep up with it each
day. He promised he would.

He began immediately. As I watched television, he continued to write. At
eleven, I told him I was going to bed. We had an early flight back to
Houston.

I knelt down for my nightly pray. This night would be different as Terry
knelt down beside me for the first time. I took his hand and bowed my head
as I prayed aloud. I felt Terry squeeze my hand as I thanked Heavenly
Father for bringing Terry into my life and to be forgiving of Brian. To
watch over Jenny and to provide us with a safe trip tomorrow.

When the prayer was over, I climbed into bed. Terry just stood up and
didn't move. I watched him, wondering what was on his mind. He finally sat
down on the bed and took my hand.

"Joel, I know you really believe in God and everything. It's new to me. We
never went to church. I was never taught to pray to God and thank him for
anything. I knew about him. I just never thought he cared about me. With
all the crap I went through in my life, I never felt like I was worthy of
anything like that."

Terry laid down beside me. Still holding my hand, he continued.

"I got mad at him once. I was alone in the house and in my room. I wanted
answers to questions about my life and why I was having such a terrible
time of it. I never got any. I felt so intensely alone. Never imagining one
day I would be on my knees, next to my boyfriend, sharing a prayer."

Terry turned on his side, his lips next to my face.

"In the time I have met you, you have inspired and taught me so much. You
have such a big heart and I am so impressed that so many have found a place
there. I love that you love Brian so much. Many would say I was foolish,
but it shows me what your heart is capable of. Yesterday, when I walked in
on you and held you in Brian's room, I knew that what I was feeling for you
was so true and awesome and right. Instead of hiding it from me, you shared
it, wanting me to know Brian and understand what you two had."

I turned towards Terry, wiping my eyes.

"I am not with you to replace Brian in your heart. When I read in his
journal about the time you two had together, it was special for you two. It
doesn't take away from what we have and what we have is so special
too. Your heart is big enough for both of us. You show me love with the
things you do and the things you say to me."

I put my arms around him.

"I would never have missed being here. It was so worth coming to be with
you on this trip. I think I needed to be here as much as you did. Since
meeting you my world has opened up to so much possibilities, so many ideas
and so many new feelings that I never had before."

For the most part, he left me speechless.

"I love you so much," I said.

"I love you so much, too."

I leaned in and placed my mouth onto his for the kiss. We continued to kiss
and hold each other for sometime. I fell asleep in his arms, him in mine.



The end of Chapter 36