Date: Thu, 21 Aug 2003 23:41:21 -0500 From: Rhaven Subject: Bug Chapter One This story contains sexual situations between boy/boy and boy/man. For more stories and poems, please visit: www.rhavenlore.com Bug It was early Sunday mornin' when my papa died. Face down in the snow; I use to think snow was pretty 'til that day. Now nothin' seems pretty to me no more. He'd been in poor health for years or so people told me. I just thought papa, was papa, never knowin' that he was ill. Now that I reflect on it, I should have realized he weren't regular. Papa wasn't much into niceties, I can't remember him once givin' me a hug or even laughin'. He preferred the company of the bottle to anyone else, especially me. When I was five, Mama bein' dead three years by then, Papa moved us out to an old shack out in the middle of nowhere. He said it was to protect us from the spying eye of the government. I never could understand what the government would be lookin' for; we ain't never had anything good or valuable. But there we lived, no house in sight, a shack that couldn't even keep the rain out and my Papa sitting on the front porch, bottle in one hand and shotgun in the other. He weren't a mean man, even when drunk, which he was most of the time. Papa just didn't like to talk or be around me. I guess I must have reminded him of Mama too much, lookin' on me was too hard for him to do. I found Papa in the front yard that Sunday mornin', I knew he was dead the second I lay eye on him. The back of his head was missin', the shotgun he'd stuck in his mouth had exploded his skull like a firecracker in a watermelon. I didn't cry for my Papa, I guess that makes me a bad person, I tried to cry, but I just didn't have any tears for him. I know he wouldn't have cried for me neither. I walked five miles to the nearest house that Sunday; Papa had to have picked the coldest day to kill himself. Papa never made anything easy. Mrs. Thornton done some glorified church dance, with her fat arms a flailing when I told her about Papa. I weren't fooled, I knew'd she hated Papa, I'd heard her in at the grocery store yakking to Mr. Thornton on how my Papa was a disgrace. When she held me, pulling into her folds of fat, I felt disgusted. All those years of wantin' a hug and my first one had to come from 'Thunder' Thornton. Though I did find myself thinkin' of my Mama, wonderin' if this was how she would have hugged me. She died one day before my second birthday, all Papa would tell me was she had 'the illness', whatever that meant. Don't know why I think more on Mama, since Papa died. All I know is that I never escaped that shack with my Papa. Every night, that's all I dream about, don't matter that I live with the Thornton's now. When I close my eyes, Papa's alive and sittin' on the porch, I'm watchin' him from the window wantin' to talk to him, tell him somethin' but I know he won't listen to me, he never did. CHAPTER ONE Theodore Thornton looked down at the small boy and growled. "When I tell ya to do somethin' boy, I expect it to get done!" Bug didn't bother to tell Mr. Thornton that Virgil, the Thornton's son had once again locked him in the tool shed. Bug just stared down at his feet and tried to look ashamed. "Get out there and put away my tools. Ya can't have supper 'til ya'll is done." Mr. Thornton snorted as he gave the command and with a hard tug on his dirty overalls, he swirled around and stomped into the kitchen mumbling something about Bug being worthless. Bug could see Virgil standing next to Mrs. Thornton and waving, making a goofy face. The Thornton's were a strange family, or at least strange to Bug. He'd lived with them for three months now and still felt like a stranger. Susan Thornton never seem to leave the kitchen, she was there when he woke up and still there when he went to bed and couldn't say anything without quoting the bible. While Mr. Thornton on the other hand, spend his days outside, fixing the fence or mending the barn. Mr. Thornton was busy getting his fields ready for planting; Bug had never seen a man work so much in his life. It was as if he was afraid of not having anything to do. Virgil on the other hand, was the complete opposite of his father. In the three months since Bug had moved in, Virgil had played every kind of prank and joke that his simple mind could think of on Bug. The only time Bug sort of liked Virgil was at night. Ma Thornton, as she insisted Bug call her, had explained that her wonderful son, was only playing with Bug, his pranks were a way for him to express his joy in having a younger brother. "He ain't my brother." Bug said to himself as he collected the tools scattered around the tractor. "They ain't my parents neither." "Talkin' to ya self?" Bug looked up to see Virgil walking towards him, his finger shoved as far as it could go up his left nostril. No matter what Virgil was going, he always seemed to have his hand on or in his nose. Bug wondered if that was the reason Virgil's nose seemed to point upwards. "Ya know they say that's the first sign of insanity." Laughed Virgil as he wiped his finger on his pants leg. "Ma said fer ya to get indoors, she's gonna put up the meal if ya ain't in soon." "I'm comin'." Bug grumbled. Just like Ma and Pa Thornton, one would tell him to do one thing and then the other would come along with something different for him. Bug felt he was in a constant tug-of-war. Though it was now Spring, the nights still had the hint of winter to it, Bug felt himself shiver from the cold breeze growing from the north. He quickly gathered up the rest of the tools and ran them into the tool shed. "You better not lock me in again, Virgil!" Bug threatened, seeing that mischievous look in the boy's eyes. "Don't be such a weenie." Virgil said smiling. "I ain't goin' to do nothin'." Despite what Virgil said, Bug kept a cautious eye on the boy as he put away the tools. To his amazement, Virgil stood still, more concerned with a stubborn booger than tormenting Bug. Once the last tool was in its proper place, Bug didn't dare mess up Mr. Thornton's tool shed, he jumped out of the shed and darted towards the house, leaving a nose-picking Virgil in his dust. "Bout time you made it in. 'that ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises'." Ma Thornton said looking upward as if talking straight to God. Bug nodded as if he understood what she was talking about and sat down at the table. Fried chicken, green beans, poke salad, mashed potatoes and wild onions decorated the table like a fancy Paris painting. Bug pushed the dish of onions away from him, knowing that they only grew near the outhouse, but eagerly scooped up everything else. He piled his plate high and shoveled the food in as if he hadn't eaten for days. Once he had devoured everything from his plate and Ma Thornton nodded her approval, Bug pushed his chair from the table and sighed in satisfaction. "Good fixin's Ma Thornton." Bug moans and patting his stomach. "Go wash up and get ready fer bed." Ma Thornton said as she snatched away Bug's plate. Bug gave a low groan as he stood up, with his stomach full, he was ready for a good nights sleep. He walked passed Pa Thornton sitting in his large leather chair reading the newspaper, it was the only time Pa Thornton relaxed. Virgil was sprawled across the floor, at his father's feet, reading a funny book, something called Astonishing Tales, which he put down to give Bug a cross-eyed look. Bug had told Virgil once that funny books would make him stupid; he preferred to read real books. Books that he had inherited from his Mama, like Count of Monte Cristo, 20,000 Leagues or Huckleberry Finn. However, his favorite was Aesop's Fables, not only was it wonderful reading, the book had illustrations that allowed Bug to imagine another world, a world far from this one. He liked the idea of traveling to a mythical land, away from this planet of pain. "Ya got the afternoon off tomorra'." Pa Thornton said without looking up from his paper. "Unk and I gotta head to Sherman for some parts and supplies." Unk was Uncle Burgees, exactly who's uncle he was, Bug wasn't sure, but he owned the farm next to them and gave Bug a creepy feeling everytime he was around. "We don't have ta do nothin' tomorra?" Virgil asked, inviting Pa Thornton to assign them something just for the spite of it. "I won't be gone all day, Virgil. Ya'll have ta get off ya lazy behind to help me unload the truck once I get home." Pa Thornton gave Bug a sly wink after seeing Virgil slump disappointingly back to the floor. "Might want to check out the lake, water sure looked invitin' today." Virgil grinned and shook his head, as if he had been thinking the same thing. "What are ya boys still doin' in here?" Ma Thornton barked, hands on hips and her foot tapping as if counting the seconds. Pa Thornton nudged Virgil with his foot and cleared his throat roughly. "Listen to Ma, boys. Off wit ya." Virgil leapt into the air and raced towards the bathroom, as if he was in a race with Bug. But Bug only scratched casually at his butt and sundered slowly in the same direction. "Don't forget your prayers." Ma Thornton reminded Bug, as she did every night. It didn't matter, Bug only pretended to pray, he wasn't about to start praying now, just because 'Thunder' Thornton told him too. Plus, Bug doubted that God wanted to hear anything he had to say, he was sure someone as important as God was too busy to listen to some orphan boy's requests. "Come on slowpoke!" Virgil thrust the bar of lye into Bug's hands and pointed to the sink. "Wash up." Bug obeyed only because he couldn't think of a reason to refuse. By the time he was drying his hands, Virgil was already in his nightshirt and bouncing on the bed. "Ya can swim can'cha?" Virgil asked between bounces. Bug nodded slowly as he undressed, avoiding eye contact with Virgil. He quickly pulled on his nightshirt and jumped into bed, the chill of the spring night almost got him. Bug pulled the blanket up to his chin in triumph and warmth. "I'm a great swimmer. Ma say'd I should have been a fish, instead a boy, I'm such a good swimmer." Virgil joined Bug under the blanket and snuggled up close to him. "Won't the water still be too cold ta swim?" Bug shivered at the thought of the icy water. "Nay, ya'd get use ta it pretty quickly. It's cold at first splash, but after that ya don't really notice." Ma Thornton walked into the room and inspected the boys carefully. "Ya get ta sleep now, no talkin' all night." She clicked off the lamp and closed the door, looking briefly back at them as if she knew they were up to no good. Bug blinked his eyes trying to adjust to the sudden blackness of the room. "Ya sleepy?" Whispered Virgil. "Kind of. Pa Thornton kept me busy all day." Bug frowned, though he knew Virgil couldn't see him, it was so strange to him, that only at night was Virgil kind and loving. Only in this dark room, could they have a civil conversation and be tender to each other. "Do ya like livin' here Bug? I like ya being here." Virgil pulled Bug closer to him and pulled up his nightshirt. "I'm a hopin' ya live wit us forever." Bug felt Virgil's long fingers grip his penis, squeezing it slightly. The first night he had done this, it had scared Bug, but now, he figured if Virgil didn't do it, he would have. Virgil may be an ass during the day, but at night, Bug almost loved him. It was like one of the books he had read, about a man who transformed into a monster, the boy touching him now was like Dr. Jeckyl. Bug lay still savoring the glorious feeling of Virgil nimble fingers. He listened to the now familiar sounds of the Thornton house preparing for bed. The squeaking floor as Ma Thornton made her inspection of the house, turn off lights, closing doors and last minute cleaning jobs. Bug listen to Pa Thornton raiding the kitchen for a snack, the clinking and clanking of the large man rambling around a kitchen where he seemed so lost. However, his favorite sounds were of Ma and Pa Thornton lying in bed together talking. Bug couldn't make out what they were saying, but it was soothing. Bug imagined that Ma and Pa talked about how much they loved each other, perhaps even called each other sweet names. Bug rolled over and looked into Virgil's dark eyes. Though he still felt a stranger in the house, at night he was family. Bug kissed Virgil. "Whatcha do that for?" Virgil said jumping away from Bug. "I. I just." Bug couldn't explain himself. "Ya ain't a girlie-boy is ya?" Virgil questioned, pulling his pillow between Bug and himself. Bug sighed and turned away from Virgil. "I. I ain't no girlie-boy." He tried to sound convincing, but thought he could hear his voice betray him. "I ain't like that at all." Despite Bug's error in kissing Virgil, the night turned peaceful, as Ma and Pa Thornton succumbed to slumber, their croaking snoring the only sound to comfort Bug. He lay there facing away from Virgil. Conflicting thoughts raced through Bug's head as he focused on his beloved pile of books across the room. He had so many wants, He wanted to run away from this crazy family, he wanted them to all die. He wanted them to love him, he wanted to fit in and be normal. If wanting were fishes, Bug would be the ocean. Bug woke up with Virgil shaking him. He was surprised to see that the sun had already risen; normally Ma Thornton woke them when it was still dark. "Come on Bug, let's head out ta the lake." Bug rubbed his eyes and sat up. "What time is it?" "Nearly eight." Virgil flung off his nightshirt and grabbed up his pants. "Come on; before Ma can think of somethin' for us ta do!" Bug forced himself out of bed, sleeping so late had numbed his muscles. Virgil tossed Bug his clothes and impatiently waited for him to get dressed. Bug eyed Virgil as he got dressed, he was acting as if nothing had happened last night. The kiss was completely forgotten. It would have been nice to be able to talk about it, but there was no one here that could understand. What's wrong with a kiss, Bug thought, but had no answers. Ma Thornton had breakfast already laid out across the table as Virgil dragged Bug into the kitchen. "Bout time ya'll got up, thought maybe ya'd sleep the day away." "We're headin' to the lake." Virgil announced proudly. "Well sit and eat breakfast first." Said Ma Thornton with a frown. "Where's Pa?" Asked Virgil as he pulled his plate closer to him. "Pa and Unk have already left fer Sherman." Bug spied on Ma Thornton; she seemed to be in a sour mood, though Virgil was completely ignorant. He knew from past experiences, it was best not to talk to her during these times. Sometimes Bug thought Ma Thornton was as insane as his Papa had been, she could flip from cheery to sour with the flip of a coin. "Dang, I wanted ta ask Pa to get me a new funny book." Virgil smacked his fork across his plate. "Funny books, funny books? Is that all ya ever think about Virgil?" Ma Thornton growled. "I'd knew'd them things were no good, rot ya brain I said. Twist it into evil ways." Bug tried to motion to Virgil to stop talking, but the boy wasn't paying attention, he was too shocked that his mother had dared violent his love for funny books. "Ain't nothing wrong with my funny books! Anyway, Pa say'd they were okay for me ta read." Bug rolled his eyes, neatly put down his fork and laid his napkin on the table. He was able to get outside before Ma Thornton exploded. He sat down on the porch and waited for the screaming to stop. Bug noticed that Ma Thornton had these mood swings when something changed the family's normal routine. With Pa Thornton heading to town, he should have known it would have happened today. "Geeze, Ma's sure in a foul form today." Virgil said stepping outside and rubbing his head. "Ready fer the lake?" His expression changed from somber to silly in blink of an eye. Virgil never absorbed the horror of his mother's tantrums, to Virgil life was just a joke and he didn't get the punchline. "We're still goin'?" "Ma said ta get away from her. I figure the lake it as good a place as any, fer getting away." Virgil smiled slyly as if he was being clever. The two boys walked in complete silence through the freshly plowed field. The cool morning was already vanishing away as the sun warmed the ground. By the time they reached Lake Crawford, Bug had to force himself not to dive in fully clothed. He'd only been to Lake Crawford twice in his life, this would be his first time swimming in it. or at least he hoped that swimming came naturally to everyone. "Whatcha waitin' fer, an invite? Come on let's get ta swimmin'." Virgil said joyfully as he stripped off his clothes. Bug tried to give a confident smile as he slowly undressed. Virgil dived into the mirror perfect lake, there was a moment of silence and then as if shot from a cannon he reappeared. "C..come o.on in." Virgil said through shivering lips. "The waters f.fine." "Um. okay.okay I'm comin'." Bug said hesitantly. He approached the water cautiously, looking to Virgil and then back to the lake. "Geeze Bug, it ain't gonna hurt ya, get in." Virgil slipped back into the water and swam further out. Bug yelped as the ice cold water inched up over his bare feet. Slowly, very slowly Bug crept deeper into the water, violent shivers shooting over his body like electricity. "I.It's s.so cold!" chattered Bug hugging his chest tightly, trying his best to savor what warmth still resided in him. Virgil only snorted and swam further away from the shivering Bug. With shaking legs, Bug forced himself deeper into the lake until finally his feet where free of the muddy bottom. He flapped his arms and kicked his feet; he tried everything he could to keep his head above the water, nothing seemed to work. "V..V.Virgil?" Spat and sputtered Bug, trying his best not to suck in too much water. "V.Virgil!" He managed to scream. No matter what he did, the lake seemed to pull at him, drawing him under. "Virgil. he.help me!" Through the splashing water Bug was relieved to see Virgil swimming towards him. "Don't tell me ya can't swim?" Virgil let out with a wicked laugh. "Why didn't ya say somethin'?" "Virgil.pl.please." Bug sank into the lake, a blur of green and blue. Unlike the world above, this one was calming. The lake welcomed him, with echoing melodies from above. Bug ceased his struggle for the sky and accepted his new liquid world. "Geeze all mighty Bug, even dumb animals know better than getting' in the water if'en they can't swim." Bug opened his eyes and watched as Virgil dragged him onto the shore. "Wasn't.wasn't sure if I couldn't swim." Bug tried to explain. "You are a bonifide id'jit Bug." Virgil laughed. Bug stretched out on the soft ground and let the sun bring life back into his frozen body. Bug inhaled deeply, sucking in the sweet air, letting it fill his lungs and mind. "Ya is worthless. Ain't good for anythin', just like Pa says." Virgil spat, but Bug ignored him. He closed his eyes, feeling the sun win over the chill and he yawned. Bug rolled over on his side and suddenly realized he had fallen asleep. He sat up and looked out across the lake, but couldn't see any sign of Virgil. A wave of panic flushed over him and he jumped up. "Virgil? Virgil where are ya?" Bug ran to the edge of the lake and squinted his eyes, trying to see if Virgil had been stupid enough to swim out to the middle of the lake. "Virgil!" Bug screamed, but still couldn't see the boy anywhere. "Dang ya Virgil, where are ya!" Then bug realized, what had happened. He quickly looked around the shore and screamed again. Virgil was gone and so were his clothes.