Date: Sat, 6 Sep 2003 20:28:32 -0500 From: Rhaven Subject: Bug Chapter Four This story contains strong language and sexual content between boy/boy and boy/man. For more stories and poems, please visit: www.rhavenlore.com Pain is a demon. It possesses ya and takes away all that is good in life. I hate pain, I hate that my insides want to sing and dance, but the pain say's 'no'. In the month that I slept, livin' in that dark world, I've come to realize just how pretty the outside is. Can't say why I didn't notice before, I guess I was stupid. Now when I stand out there on my balcony lookin' out at the lake, watchin' the sunlight dance across the breathing water, I'm amazed by all this beauty. Maybe everyone should fall asleep for a month, and then they too can see what I see now. CHAPTER FOUR Jeff insisted that Bug take it slow. However, that was hard for the boy to do, he wanted to run and jump, play hide and seek and swim. In that first week, Bug busied himself by exploring all that the house had to offer. He discovered a wonderful device called Television and shows like, the Virginian and Branded or Gomer Pyle and the Jackie Gleason Show. It was all amazing and Bug wondered why everyone didn't have a TV. "Ya look like a zombie in front of that thing. Come outside with me." Dandy said, hands firmly planted on his hips and tapping his foot. "But this is Lassie, Dandy." Bug said pointing at the television, as if Dandy hadn't noticed it before. "I ain't seen this show yet. Ya got to watch it, this dog is super smart." "Ya been in this house long enough." Dandy said in a stern voice. "When's Jeff gettin' home?" Bug said not daring to look away from the television. "Don't know." Jeff had been away for days, now that planting season was upon them; he was keeping busy visiting the farmers, making sure everything was running smoothly. Bug was amazed to discover that Jeff owned most of the farmland in these parts. Apparently, he took his ownership very seriously, checking up on all the farmers. Bug wished the man would return, he missed his daily hug. Not that Dandy's hugs were bad; they just weren't as special as the ones from Jeff. "Come on Bug, please go outside with me." Dandy begged. Bug grunted and shook his head. "Okay, let's go out.. Just when Lassie's about ta warn Timmy about that there cougar." He moaned and reluctantly turned the television off. "What we gonna do outside?" Dandy grinned and grabbed Bug's hand. "I'm takin' ya swimmin'." "Ya gonna teach me to swim?" Bug forgot all about Lassie, he smiled and dragged Dandy outside. "Now remember I ain't no good. so. so ya gotta teach me everythin'." Bug stopped at the edge of the lake and almost gasped, he had almost forgotten this was Lake Crawford. The last time Bug had been in this lake, he had almost drowned. "Don't look so worried." Dandy said cheerfully as he pulled off his shirt. "I won't let nothin' happen ta ya." Bug looked back at Dandy and smiled. He relaxed slightly, this wasn't Virgil standing here, it was Dandy. "Ya don't need help undressin' do ya?" The naked Dandy asked kindly. Bug didn't think he needed the help, his back didn't hurt at all and the bruises on his arms had almost disappeared. "Sure." He said giggling to himself. It was something he had learned, once you experience kindness, you wanted more and more. He raised his arms, so Dandy could pull the shirt off easier. Dandy undressed Bug with simplicity, as if he had done it a hundred times. Once they were both nude, Dandy walked Bug into the water. Dandy took them in, until the water was up to their waist. "Whatcha need ta do is lay on ya stomach first." Dandy instructed. "I'll sink!" "No ya won't." Dandy rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna hold ya up, ya'll be fine." Dandy put one hand on Bug's chest and the other on his stomach. Dandy acting as if he had years of experience in training, talking to Bug about the mechanics of swimming. Bug had some difficulty synchronizing his arms and legs, but after a few hours of kicking and paddling he managed to briefly, if not awkwardly swim alone. Once the lessons had ceased, the two boys competed in who could make the biggest splash. Bug just knew this had to have been the greatest splashing game ever witness by God and all the Heavens. "Hey you two." Jeff called from the shore. "JEFF!" the boys said in unison and ran toward the man. "I see someone is feeling better." Jeff laughed and quickly steadied himself as both boys attempted to jump into his arms. "Whoa now, I'm glad to see you guys too!" Jeff fell down still trying to hold onto both boys. Bug watched Dandy kiss Jeff and get one in return. He quickly kissed Jeff and was happy to receive his. "So how have you been? What have you guys been up to?" Bug loved that question; it was such a wonderful thing to ask someone. "I was watching your television.." Bug said excitedly. "That's all he's been doin'." Dandy added quickly. Bug ignored his sarcastic comment and continued. "There's this show called the Virginian. this guy found some gold coins in a cave and. and." Bug spat out the story he had seen, all the while Jeff smiled, nodded and seemed to be honestly interested in Bug' s tale. Finally, Bug finished, breathing hard from non-stop talking, Jeff gave the boys a squeezed and laughed. "I really have missed you two." "Since ya is back home and ." Dandy paused and looked over to Bug. "And Bug is feeling better; could we. have a campout?" "A campout?" Bug asked looking to Jeff for the answer. "All we do is stay up late and sit around a bonfire." Jeff explained. "We cook weenies and marshmallows." Dandy added licking his lips. "And play games. don't forget the games." Dandy elbowed Jeff. "Oh I'm not sure about the 'games'." Said Jeff almost whispering to Dandy. "What. because Bug's here?" Dandy pouted out his lower lip and glared towards Bug. Bug didn't say anything, but he was now very interested in these 'games'. "How about swimmin' ya can still swim with us, right?" Dandy said dryly. "I don't." Jeff stopped talking and looked back towards the house. "Damn, someone is coming down the road. better get dressed." Jeff stood up, brushed out the wrinkles in his shirt and tried to smile. Bug could see a trail of dust bellowing up from the road and quickly dressed. The boys followed closely behind Jeff as he walked to the house. Once Bug got a closer look at the black and white car, his stomach started to roll. It might have been all those years of his father and his paranoid fears, but Bug was uncomfortable around the police. A man who could have stepped right of the TV show Virginian, climbed out of this car and tipped his cowboy hat as Jeff approached. "Hello Sheriff." Jeff said cordially, shaking the man's hand. "Howdy Mr. D, I'm glad ya is home." The sheriff said looking toward the boys and frowning. "What's wrong Sheriff?" "Bad times Mr. Daniels.someone done burn down the Thornton house." "Oh my God! Are they all right?" Jeff glanced quickly to Bug and then back to the sheriff. "'fraid not, Mrs. Thornton didn't make it out of the house, the boy and Mr. Thornton are fine. " Sheriff Tanner looked over at the boys and frowned again. "I'm glad ya is back. I'd heard ya was on ya're visitations." The Sheriff wiped the sweat from his brow and then shifted his feet uncomfortably; indicating he had more to say. "Sheriff. is there something. something you want to tell me?" Jeff asked seeing the concerning look Tanner was giving the boys. Sheriff Tanner put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and moved him a few steps away from the two curious boys. "This sure sounds serious." Dandy whispered to Bug. Bug could only nod his agreement. He was still stunned that Ma Thornton was dead, burned to death in a fire. Just like the dream, he had a week ago, seeing Ma Thornton standing in flames. Bug suddenly had a disturbing thought, one that made his heart skip a beat. If only there could have been more time to think, but Jeff turned to the boys, worry painted his face. "Go inside, boys." He ordered, looking away quickly, so as not to see their puzzled expressions. Dandy took hold of Bug's hand and led him into the house. "This ain't good." Dandy finally said once they were inside. Bug didn't reply, he watched Jeff and Sheriff Tanner from the window. >From the way Jeff was pacing, Bug could tell he was upset from whatever the sheriff was saying. "Who do ya think burned down the house?" Dandy whispered as he leaned over Bug to see what was going on outside. "Can't believe someone was killed." Bug swallowed hard, he didn't feel like talking. He pressed his face against the glass and wished the sheriff would leave. It wasn't until Dandy spoke again, that Bug realized he had been holding his breath. "Do ya think the sheriff is here ta arrest Jeff? I don't much like Sheriff Tanner, he once took my brother in, for a fight he ain't have nothin' to do with. He's got that mean look in his eyes. Did ya see the way he was lookin' at us?" Bug nodded to Dandy, though he wasn't listening. He had a feeling that this had nothing to do with Jeff. Finally, Jeff shook Sheriff Tanner's hand and waited until the car was just a vanishing cloud of dust, before he walked into the house. "What's goin' on?" Dandy asked before Jeff could shut the door. "Let's all have a seat." Said Jeff flatly. Bug held his stomach, he knew what was going to be said and his stomach rolled, pressed against his chest, so that it was hard for him to take a breath. "I'm sure you heard." Jeff began, sitting between the boys on the couch. ". The Thornton house burned down. Sadly. Susan Thornton perished in the flames." Jeff cleared his throat before continuing. "Sheriff Tanner. has evidence that the fire was deliberately set." Jeff couldn't stand it any longer, he stood and started to pace the room. "What's happenin' Jeff? What's wrong?" Dandy said also standing, his face twisted in concern. "The sheriff. the sheriff." No matter how hard Jeff tried, he just couldn't say it. "He thinks I did it, doesn't he." Bug whispered, looking down at the floor. Jeff quickly sat back down next to Bug and put his arm around him. "He just wants to question you tomorrow. I have told him already, that there was no way you could have done such a thing. Bug believe me, everything is going to be all right. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." "That's crappy!" yelled Dandy. "How can they think Bug would do somethin' like that?" "Apparently." Jeff stopped pacing and looked down at Bug. ".apparently, the Thornton's son has told Sheriff Tanner about the incident with Mrs. Thornton..." Jeff paused again to look into Bug's face, to see his reaction to all this. "I. I think the sheriff believes you started the fire to get. revenge." "More crap!" Dandy screamed angrily. "Bug didn't leave the house last night, how could he have started the fire. it just ain't possible." "We're going to let Bug talk to the sheriff tomorrow. "Jeff said in a calm voice. ".and make sure the sheriff continues his search for the real culprit." Jeff tried to smile and turned towards the kitchen. "Why don't I fix us something nice to eat?" "Ain't we havin' a campout?" Dandy asked looking confused, throwing his arms up into the air from frustration. "Sorry sweetie, with all that has happened; I think it best we postpone the campout." "What. for how long? Until all this crap is fixed? Or until 'HE' leaves.this ain't fair!" Dandy stamping his feet. "We were happy before 'HE' showed up! Now everything is messed up." "Dandy! It's not Bug's.." Jeff began, but Dandy ran upstairs before he could say anything else. Bug looked towards the stairs and then Jeff. Dandy had been right; all he did was cause problems. It was as if he radiated it, contaminating everything around him. "Bug, don't listen to Dandy. He's just upset; he didn't mean anything he said." Jeff tried to say tenderly. "He's right though, I ain't nothin' but trouble." Jeff quickly sat down next to the boy pulling him close. "You listen here Bug; you are not 'trouble'. You are worth all this and more." Jeff stood again and pulled Bug to his feet. "Let's go sit out on the porch. get some fresh air." Bug didn't argue, he wasn't sure he even had the energy to protest. His limbs felt like rubber as Jeff led him outside. The crickets had begun their chorus song as Jeff pulled Bug into his lap, a mesmerizing chirping echoed around them as the insect put on their evening show. A gentle breeze tried to cool them from the lingering heat of the day as Jeff held Bug tightly. "Let me tell you a story about your mother and I." Jeff said as he looked out towards the lake. Bug felt the muscles in his body relax as Jeff began his tale. He watched as his mother and Jeff ran to the lake with thoughts of being great explorers. He saw them feverishly built their raft and celebrate when it didn't sink. Bug witnessed their launch into the great unknown only to swim back to shore in defeat as the raft broke apart beneath them. Jeff continued talking until the sun had finally surrendered to the darkness of night, telling Bug everything he could remember of his mother. Bug found himself waving to that phantom girl and seeing her wave back. "Do you feel like eating something?" Jeff asked, interrupting Bug's fantasy. "I ain't hungry." Bug admitted and then turned around to look Jeff in the eyes. "Ya and my Mama were real good friends, weren't ya?" "We were the best of friends. I always thought of her as my sister." Jeff confessed. "She was very special to me." Bug turned around again to look out at the lake and tried to see that raft and two children again, but they no longer existed. "Why did ya let my Mama marry a crazy man?" Jeff sighed silently. "Your father wasn't. When your mother met your father, he wasn't as you knew him. he was working at McDuffy's Farming Supply Store, doing well for himself." Jeff took a deep breath. "To be completely honest with you Bug, I . I tried to stop your mother from marrying him. I can 't say it was because I completely disliked your father. it was. it was the fact he was so different. I wanted her to marry Prince Charming." Jeff cleared his throat again, as if trying to clear some unpleasant thoughts and then wrapped his arms around Bug. "But if they hadn't met and gotten married, you would never exist. I owe your father for creating such a beautiful, wonderful person like you." Bug rested back into the warmth of Jeff and listened to the crickets sing. The humid heat had finally lessened, as the night finally arrived. "Go get ready for bed." Jeff said patting Bug's chest. "I'm going upstairs to talk with Mr. Dandelion Jones." "Don't be mad at him." Bug said as he jumped off Jeff's lap. "I'm not mad at Dandy. and I don't want you to be either. Dandy it a very loving person. sometimes he speaks without thinking. But he honestly likes you Bug, you have to believe me." Bug nodded, not knowing exactly what to say about Dandy. He could see how much Jeff cared for Dandy and see that he was creating a wedge between their love. "Are you coming?" Jeff asked holding the door open. "I'll be in, in a minute." Jeff smiled and paused a moment at the door looking cautiously at Bug. "Don't be long." Jeff finally said and disappeared into the house, leaving Bug to the sounds of the night alone. Bug walked off the porch and down to the lake. The lake was so calm and peaceful, as if it had never seen a turbulent day. Bug stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the water. It felt alive as he walked deeper into the lake. He had dreamed of Ma Thornton burning or was it a wish? If he had some kind of power, had he also killed his father? How many times had he wished that Papa would die? A horrible thought came to Bug, had he also wished death for his mother? Was it his fault that everyone near him passed away? Bug started swimming, at first, it was awkward, but Dandy's lessons eventually came back to him and Bug swam towards the center of Lake Crawford. "Bug!" "Bug!" Someone called his name; he stopped swimming and looked up at the stars. "Mama? Can.can ya see me?" There was no answer, only the sounds of his hands hitting the water, so he swam on. He wasn't sure where he was going, but he had to be alone, away from anyone. He couldn't, he wouldn't harm anyone ever again. "Bug!" "Bug!" The voice was closer now and Bug realized it wasn't his Mama calling him. It was someone else. "Jeff?" He barely said as he tried to keep his head above the water. "Hang on Bug I have you!" Bug wasn't worried, he stopped struggling to keep afloat as a strong hand grabbed him. He closed his eyes and felt himself pulled through the water towards shore. Gently he was lifted out of the water and laid on the hard ground, and then Bug was hugged, not by one person, but two. "What were you thinking?" Jeff asked desperately, squeezing Bug tightly. "Is.is. he all right?" Dandy said through a flood of tears. Bug opened his eyes and looked up into the night sky, not a single cloud could be seen, the stars smiled down at him, winking as if they knew a wonderful secret. Jeff picked up Bug easily and carried him into the house. Jeff didn't stop downstairs, he rushed up the staircase and into his room. It was the first time Bug had laid in Jeff's huge bed; it was so soft it almost felt like he was lying on a large marshmallow. "He...tried ta kill himself." Dandy whispered. "We. don't know that Dandy. Could you go downstairs and get Bug a glass of milk, please?" Bug listened to their words, but his thoughts were with the lake. Jeff left him alone for a moment, giving him time to look around the room. He had been in Jeff's room before, but lying on the bed, seeing it from there, it was larger, whiter and more inviting. Had he tried to kill himself? Bug wasn't sure, he only wanted to get away from everyone, to spare them the same fate as everyone else who had suffered around him. Jeff returned, wearing a robe, having slipped out of his wet clothes. Bug didn't move or speak as the man dried him off with a dark blue towel. He knew he was naked, that Jeff and Dandy could see everything, but that no longer bothered him. What was nudity anyway, a dressed man, without his disguise? Nudity or clothed, it couldn't hide how bad Bug felt at the moment. "Do you feel like talking?" Jeff asked as he sat down on the bed. Dandy returned with the glass of milk and handed it to Jeff. Without asking, Jeff lifted Bug's head so that he could drink. It felt smooth as the milk slid down Bug's throat and he drank more. "I." Bug started to say, but he couldn't think of what to say. Could he tell them that he was cursed? Should he tell them, how they will die, because he was still here with them? But Bug couldn't find any words, so he shook his head 'no' and cried. Again, he was wrapped in hugs, Jeff on his right and Dandy on his left. It felt so good, it flooded Bug with confusion. He wanted to cry, he needed the tears, but being there with Jeff and Dandy felt so perfect, that he also wanted to celebrate. He didn't want to leave them, he wanted to live with them forever, being loved and cared for, being part of this family.