As we made our way to the truck rental location, I found myself pelted by one question after another by Zacky. One minute he would be asking questions about the truck and before I could even fully answer him, he would change topics completely and start asking a whole new set of questions. Like question about if I had any kids and as before, when I tried to answer him (that I had 3 grown children), he once again changed the topic and started a new set of questions. He drove the whole conversation the whole way to our destination, with me trying to answer him the best I could. At times, I almost felt like the father who had to explain to his son, why the sky was blue. His was due to the difficulty of some of the questions he was asking me to answer and I knew that I would never be able to explain in a way for him to grasp and understand. Of course, this also depended on if and when he even gave me the time needed to properly explain or answer anything before jumping on to his next question. The boy was full of curiosity but lacked the patience it seemed to get the proper answers he sought. There was also another problem I saw from all the questions he asked and his lack of understanding at times. It seemed that even though Zacky was 8 and should be entering the 3rd grade this fall, it appeared that his intelligence was not really that of someone of his age. I am not a teacher and didn't spend a lot of time with my own kids when they were this boy's age, but I was pretty sure from the little time I did spend with them, that my kids talked in better sentence structure and had a much better understanding then the little boy currently sitting next to me did.

Zacky seemed to turn into a totally different kid when we arrived at the truck rental location. As I quickly filled out the final inspection paperwork, the young boy seemed to be anything then his outgoing and exuberant self. Just seconds after we walked in the door, some other people came in and were now waiting their turn to be helped. As I was talking to the guy at the counter, I couldn't help noticing the difference in Zacky's behavior. Gauging on how he was with me earlier and the fact that he entered my apartment without even considering the fact that I was a stranger, I really didn't think he was uncomfortable around strangers. Feeling him grab at my pants leg and try to hide behind me, was telling me differently and I found the two parts of this boy's personality conflicting itself. It really didn't make any sense to me at all, there had to be more to it. Maybe it was because he was in an area he was unfamiliar with. Whatever the reason was, Zacky suddenly had become quiet and almost shy like. As I had walked around the van and even stood at the counter inside, Zacky continued to cling to my pants leg. I don't know why, but a small part of me found it kind of cute. I found myself having to fight off the smile that wanted to form on my lips.

As if a switch were flipped, Zacky was back to his energetic and bubbly self as soon as we were back on the road in my car. While I drove back towards the apartment complex, Zacky went back to talking. I just smiled and nodded and agreed every once in a while to let him know I was still listening. I still couldn't understand what it was about him that made me instantly fall in love with the boy. I mean, I didn't really even know the kid and he did have detractors that I wasn't very sure I wanted to deal with. He also was still very young both in age and in mind. Still there was something tugging at the back of my mind that was trying to tell me something.

Zacky then said something that suddenly brought forth a flash of memory, as if a crack had formed somewhere in my mind, exposing the memories that we all have buried away for one reason or another. His words were, "Mommy want's Sissy to teach me to swim this year but I am too afraid of the water." That was all it took to allow the memory of my very first sexual experience to come pouring back to me! As my cute passenger continued to talk nonstop, I was still able respond with a nod here and there and also keep enough attention on the road to drive, all while the past flooded into the forefront of my thoughts.

__________

I was 11 years old at the time and had just started puberty. Of course I had no idea what was going on with my body. All I knew was that I was getting more boners then I used to get and my penis and balls had grown larger. I was still not anywhere as big down there as my older brother Josh who was 13 at the time. He had hair on top of his penis and even under his arms. He also had fine light hairs on his arms and legs. It was around this time that he boasted that his penis was 4½ inches long and thicker than mine when hard. For some reason it had fascinated me. Mine in comparison was about 3¾ inches hard and other then my head; I didn't have any hair, not even those faint light hairs, anywhere else on my body.

Summer had just started, and that coming fall, I would be starting the Junior High School and the 6th grade. One of the things required for school is Gym and I found out that since the Junior High had an indoor pool, part of the school year we would be doing pool exercises. At the age of 11, you would have thought by then, I would have learned to swim. Unfortunately, at an early age, I had a very terrifying experience and ever since then, I had been scared of the water. Mostly in part of the upcoming school year, my mother had decided that summer to put her foot down and get me past that fear. To help me, she had hired a teenager who was certified as a lifeguard to give me private swimming lessons. It turned out the 16 year old boy, whose name I was told was Shawn Tillman, had an in ground pool at his family home. Even though his home was within bike riding distance, Mom dropped me off at his home for my first lesson and that is where I met him for the first time.

I really wasn't sure what to expect for certain but when I saw Shawn for the first time, I was completely shocked. He wasn't one bit what I would even consider to expect a 16-year-old teen to look like. The first thing I noticed was that he was only wearing what looked like a pair of girly panties. I would later learn that these were something called a speedo, something I was sure at that moment I would never be caught dead wearing in public. As you can guess, I had never seen a speedo before that day. With it only being 1967, the popularity of the Speedo had yet to grow in the American market like it has today. I am sure in the big beach towns you would find something like that back then, but not in a small Midwest town like ours. The second thing I noticed right away was that Shawn was not any taller than my 13-year-old brother who was five foot two inches tall. I knew this because Dad kept track of our heights on our door frame. Since we both each recently had our birthdays, mine was almost 4 weeks ago and his last week, Dad had just recorded our latest heights. This made Shawn seem pretty short for being 16-years-old. The third thing I noticed was that Shawn, like me, had no hair anywhere on his body that I could see, except on his head, of course I wasn't able to see his privates to see if he had hair there. Speaking of his privates, the final thing I noticed was that he seemed to have a nice sized lump in the front of those speedos and couldn't help staring at it. As I stared at that large lump, the blood rushed to my own member and it began to stiffen in my shorts.

Suddenly Mom broke me out of my hypnotic moment and I blushed as I quickly looked away from Shawn and hoped that no one noticed what I had been doing. "Hello Shawn, I really appreciate you helping me out with Kirk. As you already know, he has a phobia when it comes to pools and bodies of water. I really hope you can somehow get him past it and I deliberately chose you over an adult instructor because I felt he might feel more comfortable with someone closer to his age." My mom thanked Shawn and then handed him some money before giving me a kiss and getting back into her car. Just before she left, she stuck her head out the window and told me, "I will be back in 2 hours to pick you up." She then backed out and vanished down the street.

Now alone, Shawn looked at me with a smile and asked, "So you ready to get your feet wet?" He asked with a smile. I just gave him a nervous nod of my head. Truth be told, I didn't want to be anywhere near a pool.

Even with the fear of the water going through my mind, I found my eyes drawn like a magnet back to Shawn's bulge in his skimpy girly underwear. I saw that the bulge was even bigger and more defined. "This teen is actually getting a hard-on in front of me." I thought to myself and at first I thought this was weird until I remembered I had gotten hard myself and even now was still hard! When I looked back up at Shawn's face, I could tell that he had caught me staring this time and my face felt flush with embarrassment! "He is going to think I am some weirdo!" I thought to myself, wishing I could disappear from sight. I didn't understand why a 16 year old boy was making my penis feel this way? There wasn't a lot a difference in our height. I was four foot nine inches and so he was only about a half a foot taller than me. His features also made me feel weird, not in a bad way, but in a good way. He had the bluest eyes I think I ever seen and spiked bright golden blond hair on top of his head. His skin looked smooth as silk and I fought every urge I had to reach out and touch it. Best of all was the smile, it was the warmest and kindest I had ever seen. The main thing was the fact that Shawn was a boy and I was a boy too and two boys were not supposed to like each other. That after all was against God's Law. The last thing I wanted to do was anger God and end up not going to heaven because my body decided that it was going to go stupid over a boy instead of girls like it was supposed to do! This didn't help my body or my current feelings and only resulted in further shame and embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed Kirk, I am sure you are just curious as most boys are at your age. How about this, I'll get us some cokes, then we can sit at the pool and get our feet wet? If you feel like it, we could even talk about what you're thinking about now and I promise I will answer all your questions honestly." Shawn suggested and not knowing what else to do, I nodded my head and followed him into the house.

Shawn had grabbed a cooler and filled it with ice and six bottles of coke to drink. I then followed him out back to the pool. His whole back yard was fenced in with tall privacy fencing. With all the homes in the area being single story homes, the 1o foot fence made Shawn's backyard completely private from any prying eyes. As we sat at the pool, I hesitantly took off my shoes and socks and sat and dangled my feet in the unexpected warm water, Shawn sat next to me and, sitting the cooler down on the other side of him. He then grabbed two bottles of coke out of the cooler, one for him and one for me. Handing me mine after snapping the caps off the bottles. For a several minutes we sat there and didn't say a word.

Finally Shawn spoke, "You know, my parents are out of town today and we have the place to ourselves. If you want, I can call your mom and tell her that I have decided to give you a little more time today for no additional money and that I would drive you back so that she doesn't have to worry about picking you up."

I wasn't sure why he made this offer and it confused me. Since I didn't understand why, I wasn't sure what to say. I could tell that he was getting excited because I could hear it in his voice. His excitement was ramping up and increasing so much that he was almost acting like my friends hyper little 5 year old brother. Even though I tried to will myself not to, I still found myself glancing quickly at his crotch from time to time and sure enough, it still looked huge in his skimpy panties.

Again I found that Shawn had caught me looking but this time I watched as he smiled and glanced down at my crotch as he asked, "Did you bring your swim suit to change into?" I nodded my head and held up the bag that contained a brand new swim suit and towel. "Okay then, how about putting it on now." He suggested and I looked around for somewhere to put it on, other than going back into the house, there was nowhere else to change. I got up and started to go back to the house but Shawn stopped me before I got too far. "Hey you don't have to worry about changing inside. It is very private right here and we are both guys right, besides, if you show me yours, I will show you mine." As he made this offer he reached out and touched the front of my shorts where my hard little pecker was. I about jumped out of my skin when he did that as I knew what he was doing was wrong but somehow felt insanely good.

Before I could think too much more about it though, Shawn leaned around me and kissed me. Until that moment, I had never been kissed liked that before, it was my first sexual kiss I had ever experienced and it sent goose bumps all over my body as I entered in a state of bliss. I didn't even notice that he was removing my shorts along with my underwear. I didn't notice that is until he started to remove my shirt and we had to break the kiss so he could pull my t-shirt over my head. At that point I realized I was no longer wearing anything below my waist. My hard little pecker was all out for show. I tried to protest as he tried to pull my shirt off but it was useless as at that point, as I was already putty in his hands. I was also curious to see Shawn penis now that he had seen mine. He lowered me to the neatly trimmed soft grass next to the pool, so that I was now lying on my back. Shawn smiled and teased me as he revealed little by little more exposed skin as the strange panties that he was wearing were slowly pushed down off his waist. Finally they had made it over his nice round butt and fell to the ground at his feet. I was in awe when I saw Shawn's penis, it was so much... well... I guess prettier was the only word I could think of to describe it, than my own brothers. Like I was wondering, it was completely hairless and at its current straining length, it looked to be about the same as my brother's. What surprised me a lot was the thickness which was definitely thicker than my brother's. Without actually measuring both of them, it would be hard to tell, but I did see my brother's every day since we shared a room and he didn't care if I saw him naked or not.

"I hope you don't mind, but I really want to do something, I promise you will love it." Shawn promised me and before I could comment, he got down on the ground between my legs and planted his mouth on my aching member.

As soon as his mouth engulfed my pecker, he began to suck on it as if it were a popsicle. I gasped at the feelings that I started to feel from this action. Truthfully, I would have never considered sucking on another boys' pecker before. I mean, that is where we pee from. I also knew that I tended to dribble in my pants quite often due to getting in a hurry and not always realizing that there is still some pee coming out when I tuck it away. Of course my urine then flows out inside of my underwear. I really hate it when it happens because sometimes it is enough to make a small wet spot on my pants or shorts for others to see. At least my mom didn't know about this due to my already badly pee stained underwear. Thinking of my underwear I looked over to where they were laying, almost next to my head.

"Shawn had to have noticed that they were pee stained!" I thought to myself as I wondered what I would say if he asked about them. "Would he still like me if he thought I was a bedwetter?" I continued to think to myself as Shawn continued to suck my penis.

I had been a bedwetter but that was in the past or at least I hoped. I hadn't wet the bed since a week before I turned 11, which was about five weeks ago. I haven't had one bedwetting accident since then but my parents say it is too soon to take my rubber sheet off my bed. They made me suffer the humility and reminder of my past and didn't let me take my rubber sheet off the bed until I had gone a good 6 months dry. It turned out that I never did wet my bed again after I turned 11, at least nothing involving pee. I was almost 12 when I had my first wet dream! As for how long I had to go with those pee stained underwear before I finally got new ones, it wasn't until my 11th Christmas that I got the new ones and was allowed to toss out all my piss stained ones. I also got new sheets as well. I am sure Shawn noticed the stained underwear time and time again, but he never once mentioned them.

As Shawn continued to use my stiffy as if it were a sucker, I started to feel even more intense feelings and I reached out and grabbed his blond head as he continued to bob up and down on me as I was some tasty treat. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to pee as a strong, intense, but very pleasurable feeling came over me. I didn't want Shawn to stop but I also didn't want to gross him out and make him mad by peeing in his mouth. "Shawn, you need to stop quick, I'm going to pee in your mouth if you don't!" I warned him through a moan.

Shawn stopped only briefly to tell me, "Don't worry, you're not going to pee, and even if you did, I won't be mad at you. Just enjoy the feeling little man." I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of him calling me little man considering he was only five years older than me and barely a half a foot taller than me. I decided though it wasn't worth arguing about it as he went back to work on my pecker and I quickly started to feel those deep, intense, pleasurable feelings again.

Suddenly, as if something deep inside of my groin exploded but in a good way, I felt my pecker spasming and send waves of awesome pleasure pouring throughout the rest of my body. It was the best feeling I have ever felt as my very first dry orgasm continued with one spasm after another. I didn't count them, but I think I had five powerful spasms altogether before my body finally relaxed and came down from its high. I thought for sure from the feeling that I had just experienced, that I had peed, but Shawn never said a word and I was too embarrassed to ask him. Maybe later when I was feeling a little braver I would. I eventually did ask him and was surprised by his answer.

"Kirk, I know it felt like you peed and to be honest, some boys your age do, especially on their first time. Just know that you were not one of those. What you felt was called an orgasm and in your case, a dry orgasm." He explained to me.

Seeing my confusion on my face, he smiled and explained what a dry orgasm was. He followed this information up with an explanation of what a wet orgasm was. Then after a close inspection of my penis, which I think was all more for show. I also knew it was so he could touch me more, but I didn't care as I liked the feeling of his fingers as they fondled me. Way too soon though he stopped, he then declared that in his opinion that I would soon be able to have wet ones. He would never know, but he was a little off on that one.

That first night we didn't do much more, other than explore each other's bodies. Oh, Shawn did go ahead and jack off in front of me and show me what his cum looked like. It was the first time I ever seen anyone jack off or even heard the term. Shawn of course explained what he meant when he said Jacking off and that is when he started to show me on his own large penis. All the years my brother and I had shared a room, I had never seen him jack off before. When I explained this to Shawn he just continued to jack off as he thought a moment.

"He probably waits until he knows you are asleep or does it in the bathroom or somewhere private away from everyone who could possibly peep in on him." Shawn offered as possible suggestions. "If he wasn't jacking off a lot, he would be cumming in his sheets during his sleep!" He informed me. "That is called a wet dream by the way and if it happens to you, don't get confused and think you wet the bed." That was closest he ever even came close to discussing the bedwetting evidence. "I am sure you would have noticed if he started to have wet dreams as it not only would have left a very noticeable mess in his PJ's but it also would leave a slight smell as well."

We never did get into the pool that day other than our feet. Since Shawn never made the phone call to my mom, as we got caught up in other things, it wasn't long before we heard a horn honk. "Damn, I forgot to call your mom, I guess we better get dressed real quick before she gets impatient and decides to enter through the house when no one answers the door." Shawn stated and walked over to where there was a towel lying next to the pool and used it to clean himself off before getting redressed. As he was dressing, I also began throwing my clothes back on too. I wasn't sure how Shawn could be so calm as I was not only afraid of being caught but also ashamed of what my mom would say when she found out what had been really going on the last two hours on her dime. "Calm down buddy, you are going to give yourself a heart attack and that ain't good only being 11-years-old. Trust me; your mom isn't going to find out about anything that happened as long as you play it cool." He tried to assure me and gave me a friendly pat on my shoulders. "Now when we get out there, just let me do the talking and everything will be okay." His assurances seemed to be so positive that it made me feel better as we made it through the house and out the front door and towards my mom's car.

My mom wasn't happy that I failed to get into the pool that day but Shawn told her not to worry. He explained to her that he felt that I accomplished a lot today considering that before today I wouldn't have even gone near a pool and he had got me to at least soak my feet in it as he got to know me better. He felt he had to gain my trust first and today went a long way towards that and if needed be, he would gladly work for free to do this and not take another payment until he got me into the pool. My mom was more than willing to take this deal and left happy knowing that I would have even more time with the swim teacher every week and it wouldn't cost her any more. Little did she know what we really were doing in that time!

As much as I tried to fight it, Shawn did keep his promise to my mom, by the end of summer I did get over my fear and learn how to swim. All of it was due to how much time I spent with him and his insistence of working every time we got together a little on my swim lessons before we played. It was all successful due to the fact that I first learned to trust him and then through that trust we became not only good friends but boyfriends. We couldn't tell anyone of course because he would get in trouble and be accused of molesting me. No one would understand that I wanted Shawn in my life and therefore, I was willing to keep it secret from everyone, including from both his and my own parents. Within a couple weeks after first meeting each other, Shawn fucked me for the first time. I have to admit that it hurt quite a bit at first, but every time he fucked me after that, it got better and better. I got to the point that as he fucked me I would have a dry orgasm without even touching myself, which at first mystified me but Shawn explained it to me.

Unfortunately, not long after school started that year, Shawn's dad up and left the family. According to Shawn he actually just disappeared from the face of the Earth. Of course in those days it was much easier to disappear if you wanted to or if someone else wanted you to. Because his father went missing without a trace, his mother who didn't have a job or income herself, was not able to keep their nice home. They were forced to sell most of their belongings and move halfway across the country to one of his mother's relatives who agreed to take them in. I hated saying goodbye to Shawn and my first love and I know that they say you never forget your first love, but for some strange reason, somehow, I had forgotten until I had pieced the memory back together just now. A memory brought on by a boy who had some similar traits of my first love and even some from my own youth. Even down to the missing father. There was also the strange fact that I shelved this memory and I am sure I did this before I realized I was a boy lover. Was it because the love I felt for Shawn was so strong that I felt I would die without him? Maybe I felt I had to forget him in order to move on? Is this my minds way of telling me that maybe Zacky is my second chance, or is it getting confused with my boy love feelings? The answer was, I just didn't know.

__________

As the memory concluded and my mind became fully aware of my surroundings, I realized that Zacky had been trying to ask me something and I hadn't been paying attention as closely as I should have. "I am sorry Zacky, can you repeat what you just said." I didn't want to tell the boy that I had been lost in thought and hadn't been listening to him, it might upset him. I just hoped he wasn't going to tell me he needed his diaper changed.

"Mister, it is real hot and I am thirsty, can we stop and get something to drink." The little boy whined but not to the point that he was becoming bratty.

I looked at Zacky and smiled as I made him an offer that no kid could refuse. "How about we go to Dairy Queen and you can get anything you want on the menu. Do me a favor though sport," He looks at me as I say this, "Let's not tell your mommy that I gave you ice-cream, okay?"

His face beams as I make the suggestion. "ICE-CREAM! COOL!" He shouted excitedly. "I can really have anything I want?" He ask, which I nod my head and gets him to shout out once again in glee. "I want a Blizzard den!" He states emphatically and the way he does it just makes him look so adorable I can't help but smile. My own kids would make it sound like I had gone soft since I didn't correct Zacky and tell him the correct pronunciation was `then' not `den' but who cares what they think. At my age, I should be allowed to act like a Grandpa now and therefore not have to be the one who punishes or corrects, but the one who spoils and enjoys their grandkids enthusiasm in life. I know that Zacky wasn't my grandson but maybe instead of being a Big Brother, I could be a surrogate grandpa.

I had noticed the Dairy Queen earlier so I knew where it was. As we approached it, Zacky's eyes widened and he started pointing. "There it is, you promised remember." He reminded me just in case I forgot in the last few minutes. At his height, he really couldn't see much over the dash but I am sure he didn't miss the large sign. Speaking of his height, I didn't think about it at the time, but I should have asked Tammy if she had a car booster seat for Zacky before we had left. I don't really feel comfortable with him in my car without one.

"I haven't forgotten," I laughed in response to his enthusiasm while pulling into the parking lot. Before I could even get out of the car, let alone turn it off, Zacky had his seatbelt off and was opening his door, ready to pelt for the DQ entrance. "Wait for me," I told him as I didn't want him running across the parking lot without me.

As we walked to the entrance I held Zacky's small hand to keep him from zooming off. Before we entered I looked down at the excited boy. "Come on, I want my Blizzard, you promised." He pleaded trying to hurry me up.

Laughing a little at the boy's eagerness, I started to walk again and soon we were walking inside and up to the counter. There happened to be no line so as we approached the counter, I let go of Zacky's hand. He of course ran up the rest of the way and tried to peer over it as best as he could, waiting for someone to take our order. I guess he got a little impatient as he suddenly shouted out, "Hey, I want ice cream!"

That got the attention of what appeared to be a well pimpled teenager but unlike one you would expect. He wasn't moody but was cheerful and honestly seemed happy with his job as he beamed down at Zacky. "Well, hello there big guy, I bet you love ice cream, don't you?" He asked the energetic child.

Zacky bobbed his head up and down vigorously as he emphatically stated, "Yes! I love ice cream and I getting a Blizzard today." At this point he looked back at me with his big blue eyes making sure I am not going to deny him and to which I just smiled and nodded my head. He then turned back to the teenager and politely asks, "Can I get a Blizzard pwease?"

The teenager chuckled at the whole thing, probably mostly at Zacky's mispronunciation of the word `please' which came out sounding quite cute the way he said it. His chuckling only lasted a few seconds before he got it under control and asked Zacky, "Do you know what type and size of Blizzard you want?"

At this, Zacky was at a lost. It seemed he didn't even think about different flavors or sizes. He admitted this much to me seconds later, also letting me know that all he did remember was that they had advertised them. The trouble was, while he remembered the advertising of the Blizzard treats, he couldn't remember any one particular flavor itself. As for size, He wasn't sure what size I would allow him.

I guess the teenager heard him tell me all of this because he then pointed out the sign which had the listing of all the flavors on it. Amazingly, I found out just how far Zacky was behind as he tried to read the sign. He could read most of the simple words on it but had a lot of trouble on the longer and/or harder words. In the end, I had to help him with the flavors and I told him he could get a large if he wanted it.

After much thought he finally asked the teenager, "Can I have a medium Butterfinger Blizzard please?" What really shocked me was that the boy didn't even take advantage of my offer to buy him a large. I am still not sure today why he decided to ask for a medium. The guy behind the counter didn't even show him the size comparison between large, medium, and small. If he was worried about spending my money, then why didn't he order a small? The only answer that made any sense is that he must have had a large before and knew it was too much for him and decided to go for a medium instead.

I was at first thinking we would just go back to the apartment after getting his treat and he could eat it there, but after thinking about it, I decided to let him eat it here. I really didn't want to chance him trying to eat it while in the car and making a mess and it was a nice day outside. I decided that it would be good to just relax outside at one of the picnic tables.

I had decided to buy me a milk shake along with Zacky's Blizzard so while he was working on that, I sat and watched him enjoy sweet confection. Once again I found myself wondering if I was falling for this boy. Just the thought of possibly seeing him naked was making me feel a little more excited than I was comfortable with. I could even feel what I thought long dead springing back to life, just over the thought of seeing Zacky's flesh! My mind started screaming inside due to my conflicted emotions. I knew it was wrong to lust after this young boy who yet had no idea what sex even was, let alone have these feelings for any boy! Somehow, I needed the strength to keep from doing anything bad. I did it before, could I manage to do it again in the face of such temptation?!

I wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon it seemed though as Zacky interrupted my thoughts, "All done Mister." He said with a smile and one more attempt to scrape the empty cup clean. "No one was gonna eat my Butterfinger Blizzard." He stated in a cute giggly voice, trying his best to imitate Bart Simpson doing the Butterfinger ads.

I chuckled at the boy's attempt at mimicry but realized I wanted a closer relationship with him and it needed to start with him at least calling me by my name. "Zacky, would you please either call me Kirk or if not that, at least Mr. Ryder?" I asked him, giving him 2 options knowing that some kids liked the idea of using grownups first names, while other kids are uncomfortable with it due to being raised a certain way. It turned out that Mrs. Mercy was one of those parents who raised her children to respect adults and to never call them by their first name.

Zacky held out his hand as if for an official introduction. "Hi Mr. Ryder, I guess I forgot to ask you your name. I remember hearing it earlier, but forgot it. I know you know my name already but Mommy says I should always introduce myself. She says it is the polite thing to do." At this point Zacky stopped and took a breath before continuing, "I'm Zacky Mercy and I am 8-years-old." At this point he held up 7 fingers to also show his age and started to count them off but when he realized he was missing one he got red in the face and adds one more to make it 8. "See, I am 8-years-old and I have an older sissy who is real bossy and my baby brother who is cool. Me an him get along great!

"Well it is nice to meet you Zacky Mercy. Now how about we blow this joint and get you home, if we are lucky your mommy will be out of the tub when we get back." I acknowledge as I took his hand and started to lead him back to the car.

Zacky, now full of sugar, was even more energetic on the last few minutes of the car ride home. He jabbered non-stop and didn't even wait for me to comment as he bounced in his seat. I swear, if the boy hadn't been in his seat belt, he would have been bouncing all over the car. In a hurry to get back, I didn't pay too much attention to him until we pulled into the apartment complex and parked. It was at this point that I looked over at the little boy and noticed that he had the biggest grin on his face that I had seen yet and I began to wonder if he had become drunk on ice-cream, if that was even possible.

I reached over and ruffled the boys hair before asking, "What's got you so giddy little buddy? Are you having some reaction to all the sugar in the ice-cream?" I asked him seriously.

He just stared at me and grinned before saying, "Maybe, Mommy doesn't normally let me have too much."

Oh boy, what have I done? To him I just asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

"I don't know. Maybe Mommy will know what to do?" He suggested and that was the last thing I wanted to try and explain to her. Suddenly I was finding myself not wanting her out of the tub and hoping by the time she was, this sugar rush would pass.

We climbed up the steps and when we got to Zacky and his family's apartment, it was locked and no one answered. This of course meant that Tammy had to be in the tub still.

"Okay buddy, let's go to my apartment." As I said this I led him towards my door his diaper bag slung over my shoulder. As I let him inside and closed the door, I asked, "Zacky, do you need to be changed?" He just stared at me as if I had two heads or something, finally shrugging his shoulder to let me know he didn't even know. "How could this boy not know when he was wet or messy?" I thought to myself. To the boy I just asked, "Come over to me than Zacky." To which he complied. I felt down the front of his diaper finding it wet but not sure if it was wet enough to need changing or not. Sticking my hand in further to see how far the wetness went down, my hand brushed past the boys little penis, this got a giggle out of him. It seemed the wetness stopped at the crotch. I then turned him around but I was sure he wasn't dirty or I would have smelled him. Sure enough the back side of his diaper was clean when I looked down inside of it and got a good look of his bubble butt as well. A part of me was glad that it looked like I might not have to change him after all; there was another part of me though that was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see my cutie completely naked. I considered changing his wet diaper anyway just to have that chance, but I fought off that perverse side of me and told myself that I would only change the boy if he needed it and only then! It was wrong of me just for touching him the way I had just done.

__________

The very first time I had an ultra-realistic dream of changing Zacky for the first time was shortly after Zacky and his family moved away. It was so real that I thought it might have been. I am not sure why this particular scenario started or how to exactly explain to you how I knew it felt so real. Then again, I guess it was because all my dreams with Zacky felt so realistic, this one even more so.

We had entered my apartment and I decided to take Zacky to the bathroom where I would slowly peel away his clothing. After I had all his clothes removed and set carefully aside, I would then check his diaper and see how much of a mess I was looking at. At some point prior to the dream, the boy had messed his diapers pretty bad due to having a bad case of the runs. Not wanting to get anything messy, the first thing I did when I entered the bathroom was strip down to my underwear, which made Zacky giggle.

"Mr. Ryder, why did you take off your clothes? I thought you were supposed to take off mine, not yours?" The young boy asked in confused laughter.

By the way, calling me Mr. Ryder instead of Grandpa made it feel like this was supposed to be reliving a period before I was known as grandpa to the Mercy kids, except this dream would come with special favors from Zacky. Anyway, I looked at my boy on the floor and smiled at him. "I took my clothes off because I don't want them to get all messy while stripping yours." I explained as I tickled him.

"Oh, okay." The little boy furrowed his brow as he said this and I wasn't quite sure if he was 100% convinced or not.

I decided to get his mind off of it and back on what we were doing. "Okay, time to remove your shirt. Can you sit up and raise your arms over your head?" He did as I instructed and I pulled his shirt off and as soon as it slipped all the way off of him, I blew a raspberry in his cute little belly button, which was still clean. This caused him to start giggling like crazy.

As he was recovering from his laughter, I unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants, finally exposing his wet and very messy diaper! You could tell that the mess had already leaked some and made a small mess on the inside of his pants. In order to get them off, I had to remove Zacky's shoes and I went ahead and removed his socks as well. Then carefully, I pulled his dirty pants off of him and put them aside.

He was now just left in just his bloated Pampers diaper, which of course had its logo on it. As he smiled up at me, I pulled the tab on both sides and pulled the front of the diaper away from Zacky's little penis.

"Hey stinky boy, you sure made a mess for me to clean up." I said with a smile and just to confirm I was kidding with him, I started to tickle his belly, causing him to giggle cutely.

"I sorrrrryyyyyy. Pwwwweeeeeaaassssseeeee don't tickle no more!" Zacky screamed with laughter.

"I am not going to stop tickling you until you ask me right." I say teasingly to him.

Pwwweeaasseee! Noooo tickle nooo morrrre!" He begged and I was about to tell him to say it right again when his little spicket suddenly started to spray pee towards me.

As the urine splashed my chest and ran down to my underwear, I stopped my tickling of the boy. I was a little shocked at first but my next concern was how he would feel. I didn't want him to think I was upset with him for peeing on me. Sure enough, he had seen his pee splash all over me and had fear etched in his face. I decided to show him I wasn't mad by smiling at him as he finished up and then did my best to comfort him.

"Zacky, it wasn't your fault that you peed on me, it was my fault. I tickled you so much that it made you pee. I should have known better to do that. Don't be afraid, I am not mad and I just want to let you know I love you little Squirt!" I was glad when he calmed down quickly.

I decided we had played enough and I better get the kid cleaned so I could get him re-diapered. Looking at the condition of his diaper, I remembered that I had wanted to give him something for his runs and told him to wait there for a moment. I decided it would be better to give it to him now that way it would have time to work before re-diapering him. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed the Pepto Bismol and a spoon and brought it into the bathroom where I had Zacky sit up once again. I then gave him a spoonful of the medicine and silently cursed the stupid makers for brainwashing the public in thinking that they needed to waste their money and buy a separate child brand. I expected Zacky to make a weird face at the taste of the medicine but instead he seemed to not have a dislike to it at all. In fact, it almost appeared he liked the taste of it.

"I got me one weird little boy here." I told myself while smiling at Zacky. "Okay, let's get that dirty diaper off you now." I said out loud to him.

With that, I lifted his legs up by his ankles with my left hand as I used as much of the clean part of the diaper to wipe away the mess off his bum. Now at this point I could have finished the job with baby wipes from his diaper bag but with how messy his butt was still, I decided it was just better to stick him into the shower. So I scooped him up off the floor, making sure as to not touch his messy bottom or get anymore poop on the floor itself then was already smeared on it. I then stood him at the back of the tub and turned on the water so as to get the temperature just right for the shower. I didn't want to freeze or burn the boy. I wanted to make sure that the water was as hot as I thought he could stand it though.

Zacky seemed to be studying me and finally pointed at me and asked, "Are you going to get in the shower too? I peed all over you and now you stink!" As if to show he meant it, he grabbed his nose and said, "Pee-yew!" and then broke out laughing.

I looked at him and then at myself before answering, "I really do need to get cleaned but I should do it after you are done and re-diapered. Your Mommy and a lot of other people would not like it if they found out I got in the shower with you. I could get into a lot of trouble in fact if anyone ever found out." I explained as simply as I could so that he would understand.

"Oh." He said but then he looked up at me and added, "I prowmis I'll never tattle on you." I about laughed at how cute he was as he said that, even when he mispronounced promise, but managed to hold back the chuckle, as I didn't want the youngster to take it the wrong way.

I gave the boy a solemn look and with a nod of my head I asked him, "If you swear not to tell anyone what happens here today, I will show you a lot of fun things and we can even shower together. Does that sound like a deal to you?"

"I prowmis and it a deal!" Zacky stated excitedly.

With that deal made, I yank my Zacky pee stained tighty-whities down and off of me. I am not sure, but I am guessing this is the first time the boy has seen an adult male penis and possibly any other one outside his own and his little brother. I watched as his eyes grow large as they land on my package, which if you remember isn't really that large but is much larger than his own tiny penis. This was before I started to shave my pubic hair, so I had a large patch of what used to be brown but almost was now all grey hair crowning my dick and balls.

"Wow, your peepee is so big! I didn't know they got that big!" He stated with amazement. "Why is yours so much bigger than mine or Ozzy's peepee?" He asked with sincere amazement.

"Well, just like other body parts, your `peepee' will get bigger the older you get. Eventually one day you will reach a certain age and it will start to grow and even begin to get hair like mine. It will also be able to make a special baby juice around this time as well." I explained to him and watched as his eyes grew big as they glanced back at mine then his own penis.

As I climbed into the tub with Zacky and turned the shower on, I noticed that the little boy hadn't taken his eyes off my dick and balls. I decided to see how far he would be willing to go. Now deep down, a small part of me knew that this was one of my dreams but there was another part of me that wanted to believe I had somehow traveled back in time and was reliving some day in the past over again and this time things had gone this way instead. Whatever it was, I was going to let it play out as I was enjoying it too much to stop it now.

"Zacky, would you like to touch my peepee to see what it feels like?" I asked him as if it were a normal thing for a kid to do with an older guy. "Don't be afraid, go ahead and touch it if you want. I would like you to touch it." I encouraged him as he hesitated a little.

The adorable boy smiled, nodded his head, and slowly reached out his hand until his fingers tips were touching my rapidly growing dick. As my dick got bigger, Zacky's eyes bulged even more. For a moment I thought he might get scared and pull his hand back but other than hesitating for a second he kept his hand right where it was, sitting lightly on my penis. Since I had been the one who stepped in on the shower head side, I was the one who was currently getting sprayed by the water. I knew that I needed to get my little cutie cleaned up soon as the last thing I wanted was to have to explain why we were in the shower together if his mom were to come to collect him. The problem was that I was having too much fun with the boy feeling me up at that moment as he suddenly started to move his hand around my hard-on, feeling every bit of it he could. I about cried out in ecstasy when he even squeezed it a couple of times, not knowing how much pleasure he was giving me because of this.

I was beginning to really get turned on as Zacky's hand continued to wander around my dick and balls. Wanting to desperately to get off, I showed Zacky how to rub my dick and told him if he did it right that he would see what Baby Juice looked like. I knew I would have rather had Zacky's mouth or butt to blow my load into but the first time needed to be done more gentle and this was the best way. As I watched the little cutie stroke my dick, I quickly found myself come to climax! All it took was watching the naked beauty of the boy in front of me while he stroked my cock! Cum began to shoot out of me in thick heavy threads up towards the boy who hadn't been expecting what just happened. In the matter of a few seconds, Zacky's face and chest were splattered with my cum! I wasn't sure how the boy would react to what just happened, to my astonishment he began to laugh.

"Wow Mr. Ryder, that was funny." He stated through his laughter as he tried to wipe the globs of cum off his face with his hands. Seeing him like he was, I couldn't help joining in with his laughter.

I really didn't want to end the shower time so quick but I figured that we could play a little more after we were done. Right now, I needed to focus on getting this little stinker clean and of course myself. Worst case scenario, I can throw another diaper on him real fast before opening the door for his mom and tell her I just changed him. She wouldn't have to know anything at all about the shower. I wasn't there to wash his hair or whole body, just everything from his waist down, well, now I needed to wash his face and chest too. The soap I use doesn't have any fragrances so he wouldn't have a strong `I just been bathed smell' and neither will I.

"Okay Sport, we need to hurry and get you clean. So I am going to trade places with you and use the shower sprayer hose to clean your face and chest off, then I want to use it to wash your butt clean of all the mess. When all the mess is rinsed off, we will make sure everything is really clean with soap and rinse it away. Does that sound okay to you Slugger?" I asked Zacky. "Maybe after we get cleaned up we will be able to do some more neat stuff." I quickly added.

Zacky at first looked a little disappointed that he would have to stop playing but at the suggestion of doing some neat stuff after, he was more than willing to hurry. "Okay, let's hurry so we can do more stuff!" He stated exuberantly.

We quickly switched places and I grabbed the sprayer and quickly sprayed off all my cum from his face and chest, making sure it washed all off his body and down the drain. "Okay Zacky, can you bend over and touch the tub." I asked him and watched as he planted the palms of his hands on the tub, this caused his little butt to stick up towards me. I couldn't believe how turned on I was getting just seeing the boy in this position, never mind the mess still on his backside. I still needed better access though to get him fully clean. "That is good Champ, now I need you to spread your legs as far as you can without losing your balance. Okay?" I asked him.

Instead of answering, the boy just did what I instructed and soon I was able to see partially what was hidden between those sweet little boy cheeks of his. Okay, they were not very sweet at this moment but you get what I mean. With a lust filled smile, I directed the spraying water at his perfect boy butt and started to wash away all the evidence of his earlier accident. Once I had his cheeks cleaned, I used one of my hands and spread the two nice mounds even further apart, completely exposing his sweet boy glory hole. I even directed the water stream into a strong pulse and aimed it at his hole and pried it open as much as I could. I watched as more brown water ran out of him and down the drain.

"Okay Buddy, now it's time for the soap." I tell the still bent over boy. I help him stand back up and change places with him once again, grabbing the soap and start to lather him up. I first wash his face and chest and wanting to get the soap out of his eyes quickly, I grabbed the shower hose and without even trading places, I use a gentler setting to rinse the soap out of the boy's eyes and off his face and chest. I then return the hose back to it resting spot and pick the soap back up and begin now on his feet and toes, which causes him to giggle, as I wash in-between his little piggies. "I see Zacky is ticklish on his feet as well." I teased him jokingly but quickly gave him relief and moved onto his legs.

With all the lesser parts of the boy now soaped up, I now had my eyes set on the main prize of the boy. I decided to first wash his backside as it was the main reason we were in there in the first place. I soaped up my hands real good and then set the soap aside before clasping the boy's cute perfect buns, one for each hand. Of course, one of my hands was big enough to do both of them at once but I wanted to enjoy them this way so I kneaded them separately as if they were dough balls. The only exception I made to this was that I was much gentler than a baker would be to a dough ball. I worked the soap into his bottom, making sure that every bit was now covered with heavy soapy suds. I then had him bend over like he had for me earlier and got between his butt crack real good and even stuck my pinky finger up into his little boy hole, making sure that it was real soapy. He didn't seem to like the intrusion of the finger but after I pull it out he seemed to be less squirmy. Wanting to wash away all the soap out of his hole to keep it from stinging his insides and possibly making him poop again, I decided to rinse him down once again before washing the most anticipated part of him.

"You do the same thing Mommy does." Zacky sorta pouted as I had him stand back up and finish rinsing him off before grabbing the soap and re-lathering my hands to start to work on his little cute penis.

"What do you mean there Ace?" I asked him, not sure what he was referring to.

"Mommy puts her finger in my bum hole sometimes, just like you did. Sometimes when she puts diaper rash cream on me or oil or even when she cleans me with a diaper wipe. She also takes mine and Ozzy's temperature in our bums. Mommy says we're too young to use the mouth temperature taker that Sissy uses." Zacky innocently explained and I found it sexually exciting that his Mommy still took both his and Oz's temperatures with rectal thermometers.

"Zacky, maybe one day I will show you how I can take your temperature. It is a special secret way." With this said I just give him a wink which of course goes over his head as meaning anything special at all to him.

"Can you show me today? Pweasssseeee?!" He begged so cutely.

"I am sorry but not today Buddy, you are not ready for such a thing yet. I promise though, we will do it sometime when you are." I tell him but wish just like him that I could lay him over my pillows on my bed and use my cock as a thermometer and shove it deep into his ass. Why can't I control my damn dreams for once and do what I want with them... UGH!

To get both our minds off of it, I start to lather between his legs and the front of his waist and finally his little penis and tight tiny ball sack. As I lathered his little boy parts, his penis actually responded to my touch and began to grow. I continued to manipulate it and of course it grew to about 2½ inches of hardness. It wasn't much to write home about, but I thought on my boy it was a cute looking little nail! Zacky watched this all in surprise, I don't know if he ever saw his own member hard or not. I also wondered if the boy would be able to feel a dry cum if he couldn't tell when he was peeing or not. Sexual feeling can have a much stronger feeling in a prepubescent boy, so maybe there is a possibility he could. I still wasn't even sure why he had his bathroom problems. When his penis started to jump around in my hand, I looked up at Zacky to find him in the most shocked and surprised look of his life. He definitely had felt it, from the look on his face it was an experience that just took the breath right out of him.

It took Zacky a moment to say anything, but when he calmed down he was full of excitement and questions. "Wow that felt great! What made my peepee make that good feeling? Can we do that again? Will I break it if we do it too much? Why didn't anyone let me know that my peepee can make such a great feeling? Will I get in trouble if I show other people this?" He rambled one question at me after another. I of course answered each to the best of my ability with the last one, telling him to absolutely not tell anyone about what I just showed him. It was something he must only keep between us only. If he didn't, it would lead to a lot of embarrassing questions and possibly getting me in trouble.

The dream ended with him promising me to never tell on me. We never even made it to getting him re-diapered.

__________

Still trying to fight off my urges of using the excuse of changing his diaper to see the boy naked, I decided it was best not to even tempt myself with Zacky. With this in thought, I sat him in the living room and turned on the TV for him. Having the cable scheduled to be installed the day before I moved in, helped give me a lot of channels to choose from. I focused on the kid friendly menu, changing the channels until it landed on Nickelodeon. Zacky quickly begged me to leave it there and so I did. I wasn't much interested in the show at the time and so I really didn't pay as much attention to it, but it turned out to be my first ever introduction to SpongeBob SquarePants.

I am not sure how long we watched that silly show before someone finally rang the doorbell, but it seemed like it was ages as the show just kept playing on and on and that song... it was almost as bad as the Barney song that my youngest used to sing constantly along with that purple dinosaur on TV. I was lucky as I was able to avoid most of it by working as much overtime as I could. Unfortunately, Andria, my poor wife wasn't able to do the same and was being driven nuts by the annoying song. I would get an earful every night of how much she hated that Barney and his `I Love You' song and wished that she could get Jason to watch anything other than that show! Anyway, after hearing that SpongeBob theme song a few times, I was about ready to beg Zacky to allow me to change the channel. I was afraid that wouldn't go over too well though and so I was very grateful when the doorbell rang, thinking it was his mom coming to pick him up.

As I opened the door expecting to see a tall, slim, and very attractive woman, I found no one at my eyesight at all. Out of instinct I guess, I glanced down and saw a boy, a little smaller than Zacky. Like Zacky, he had crystal blue eyes and there were some similar facial features in the smaller boy, otherwise, he looked more like Tammy than Zacky. If I were to guess, this was probably Oz, though he didn't completely look like his Mom and brother. Due to the fact that he didn't even have the real bright golden blonde hair of Zacky or the red hair of his mom, he could have just as easily been a relative other than Oz. Still, his hair was close in color, as it was a real light sandy brown and unlike Zacky's spiky cut hair, his was parted to one side and had long bangs hanging down to his eyebrows. Even though I was sure he was a boy, he had a very female like look to him. I wasn't sure if it was his physical look or just the way he held himself. Was it possible to tell this early in his development if a kid was gay, I wasn't sure on that question? It may just be that he had spent most of his life with only a strong female presence in his life and that is why he has that air about him. Whatever it was, I was pretty sure he was Oz.

I smiled at the young boy and asked, "What can I do for you young man?"

The boy looked up at me and returned my smile with his own. "Hi, I came to tell my brother that Mommy wants him to come back home and stop bothering you." He stated straightforward and cheerfully.

I backed up and waved him into the apartment. "Zacky is watching TV over there in the living room." I told him and it was pretty obvious where that was considering the room we were in was just next to the kitchen and opened up to the living room.

I watched as Oz went to get his brother but I guess when he saw what was on the TV, he was just as entranced as Zacky was and planted his butt on the couch next to him. I thought about going in there and reminding them that they needed to go home and that they could watch this on their TV there, but something stopped me. I think it was the fact of how cute the two of them looked sitting there together, so amazed at such a ridiculous cartoon.

I decided to go ahead and let them be. I figured that if Tammy really wanted them to come back home, she would come back and get them. This way she would be able to finish dinner without the boys interrupting her. They were fine here and were not getting into any trouble and it would allow me the chance to do some more unpacking.

I think I had been working a good hour or longer when the doorbell rang again. One quick look at my watch and I could see it had been a little longer then I had thought. It was now after 6pm and dinner time. As I walked to the front of the apartment, I was sure I was going to find Tammy there to let us know that dinner was ready. I just hope she wouldn't be upset that her boys never returned back home like they were supposed to. Speaking of them, one look towards the living room as I passed it, told me that they were still engrossed in the TV. I am not sure, but it appeared that the SpongeBob show that they had been watching earlier had finally stopped playing and they were now watching some other cartoon that they were giggling at.

Not wanting to keep their mother waiting, I quickly opened the door and invited her in. "Tammy, I hope you had a relaxing bath." I said a little too quickly, as if I felt guilty of doing something wrong.

Either she didn't notice my weird behavior or took it to mean something entirely different, as she just smiled at me and laughed. "Well, it was nice until my little scamper woke up and jumped into the tub with me, diaper and all! His diaper absorbed so much of my bath water that when I pulled him out of the tub it fell off of him and exploded diaper residue all over the floor! I spent a good hour just cleaning up the bathroom and then tanning that little boys hide!" We had started walking into the living room and by the time she had said she had tanned Oz's hide, and putting a lot of emphasis on the word, she had gotten his attention.

"Mommy, you didn't have to tell him you spanked me!" Oz pouted but didn't seem to really be as upset about it as one of my boys would have if I had whipped them.

Zacky seemed to find it funny, "Mommy spanked yooooouuuu! HAHA!" Zacky giggled as he leaned back on the couch and started to roll his body around in giggle fits.

"I know another little boy who will get a spanking if he doesn't stop teasing his little brother right this moment!" Tammy snapped and Zacky immediately stopped laughing and sat up straight on the couch.

I looked back and forth between Tammy and Zacky and then over at Oz and saw a glimmer in his eyes. I think he might have planned this outcome knowing how his brother would react and trying to get him spanked too. Oz may be younger than Zacky, but he certainly knew how to play his mom better than his older brother. Zacky was definitely Special Ed material, but I could tell his brother while a little girly, was very smart and chose to do the things he did. Both of them were lookers and I know it was a big assumption on my part, but I was almost positive that Oz was going to end up being gay. In truth it would probably be easier to have a relationship with Oz, but at that time he was just too young and there was that undeniable connection with Zacky.

"So Ozzy, why didn't you come back with your brother like I asked you too?" Tammy asked the small boy. "You know what I told you right?"

"Yes Mommy, you told me to go and get Zacky and tell him we had to go back home and leave Mr. Ryder alone." The small boy stated with a quaver of fear in his voice. I wasn't sure but I thought that he might just be afraid of another spanking at that moment. "I'm sorry Mommy but when I came to get Zacky, SpongeBob SquarePants was on and I just wanted to finish watching the episode with him and then after a while I guess I just forgot."

What Tammy said next took me by complete surprise, mainly because I never considered it. "I see you also forgot about going to the bathroom too! I don't think Mr. Ryder here is going to be happy that you peed your shorts on his nice couch." As she stated this, my eyes of course looked directly at the small boy's crotch and the couch cushion he was sitting on. Sure enough, he had wet himself and the whole cushion he was sitting on had a dark wet patch on it too. "You know better than take advantage of other people like Mr. Ryder like that! You know that you are supposed to go potty when you have to go and not be lazy and go in your pants. You also know that I will not put you in daytime diapers no matter how many times you potty in your pants when you know better! I know you can hold it when you need to! You wouldn't do this at a friend's house now would you?!"

Ozzy still looking scared, mumbled his answer "No Mommy."

"I didn't hear you! Get up from that couch and come over here and stand in front of me and Mr. Ryder and I want you to repeat yourself! I then want to hear you apologize to Mr. Ryder for ruining his couch!" Tammy demanded her youngest.

Ozzy did waste no time, I guess he knew what the penalty was if he did. He quickly got up and made his way over to stand in front of us. Once he was there, Tammy gave him a look that I wasn't sure if I would have wanted to get if I was in her son's place. She seemed to be a no non-sense mother and was strict with her kids. While strict, she didn't sound like one of these types that actually physically abused her kids. I myself believed in the philosophy of that sparing the rod spoils the child! I spanked my children when they were bad but I never beat them for the hell of it like some people do.

"We are waiting Ozzy!" Tammy impatiently reminded him.

"I am sorry Mommy; I should have come back with Zacky like you told me too. I am also sorry I went potty in my pants instead of the toilet like a big boy and no, I wouldn't have gone in my pants if I was at one of my friend's homes. I would have gotten up and went to the toilet like a big boy is supposed to." After saying this, Ozzy turned to me. "Mr. Ryder, I am really sorry I peed all over your couch. I know I should have gone to the potty, and Mommy would say it's not a scuse, but I really liked the cartoon we were watching and I didn't want to miss any of it. That was why I kept hoping I could hold it and I kept trying until I couldn't hold it anymore. I don't know what I can do to fix the couch." He said the last part to me with a lot of shame showing in his face, even for a 6 year old. Unlike Zacky, Oz seemed smart for his age and I feared that the younger boy would soon pass his older brother by if, Zacky didn't start taking school more serious.

"Well, the couch cushion can be replaced; it is just foam after all. The cover can be washed. I am just a little frustrated that no one warned me about the fact that this could happen before it did. I understand that if everything had gone to plan that this would have never happened in the first place and that means that I myself have to carry part of the blame since I knew you were supposed to get Zacky and go back home. I decided to let you stay because the two of you were being good and I figured your mom could use a break from you both for a while. Since this is partly my fault then, I can't put any blame on you Ozzy. At the same time I can't sit here over you making sure that you are not going potty in your pants. The only thing I insist is, if you are going to be over at my place in the future, that you sit on the floor, and on a protective pad." I insisted.

Ozzy piped up with his own suggestion then, "You can always diaper me." He then gave me a big smile after that.

Of course Tammy didn't like his suggestion at all, "He will not diaper you! I have already told you several times that you don't need diapers during the daytime except for your naps and for bedtime. I cannot afford to put you into diapers just because you want to wear diapers! If you don't stop asking to wear diapers, I am going to stick you in one and send you out in just that diaper to play with your friends! How will you like that?!" Tammy asked him sternly. All this time Zacky had been being good and not laughing, but here he lost it and started giggling again. "What did I tell you Mr. Giggle Butt?"

"I am sorry Mommy, I didn't mean to laugh, I couldn't help it." Zacky tried to explain to her.

"Well, I guess I'll be sorry later when my hand slips and hits your butt real hard. I hope you will take my excuse that I didn't mean to do it at least about 10 times!" At hearing his mother say this, Zacky gulped. I guess he just sealed his fate for 10 whacks. "As for you Ozzy, you are expected to do better at going potty on the toilet and not in your big boy pants. You are not Zacky. You don't have a medical reason to need diapers still in the daytime other than being lazy and putting off going to the bathroom. If for some reason you come here for any period of time, you will bring your special pad with you." At this she looked up at me. "Ozzy has a pad he uses at home or when away that he has to sit on just in case he has an accident like the one he had here today. It is also my fault, when he didn't show back up, I figured you were okay with them being here, but I didn't realize you were not paying attention to them and that they were just watching TV. If I had known, I would have warned you. If I were a responsible mother, I would have come and checked up on them at least when they didn't show up right away like they were supposed to. I just got involved in making dinner and like you thought, I did enjoy the kid free time, especially after the diaper explosion from earlier." She berated herself.

"I guess we all feel a little guilty here, how about we just cross this one off as a lesson learned and everyone just forgive everyone else over it?" I suggested, hoping to keep the boys from getting spanked from something that we all had a part of guilt in. I will have the couch repaired within a few days, week at tops. I may even be able to find a place that can clean the pee out of the existing cushion."

"Oh don't go through all that trouble. A lot of people don't realize how simple it actually is to clean a cushion these days with the new larger washing machines without the agitators. All you have to do is throw it in the washer and depending on the fabric which I can tell from here is washable; you don't even need to remove the cover. Just use cold water, laundry soap and use the gentle cycle. Then you just let the cushion air dry for a few days. In the heat we been having, you could stick it out on the balcony to dry quicker." Tammy suggested and went on to add, "The washing machines here are not the type you would need though, you would have to go to the laundry-matt on Michigan Ave., it is about five blocks from here."

"Wow, thanks for your advice Tammy. You have definitely saved me a lot of time and money. I would have probably tried to see if I could have gotten if professionally cleaned somewhere and if not, I would have just resigned myself to buying a new cushion from the manufacture. I will have to get the information from you later about that laundry-matt. For now, I am going to stick this cushion in the tub so it doesn't leak into the couch frame." With that said, I pulled the cushion off the couch, hoping that Ozzy's pee hadn't already soaked all the way through it and into the actual couch frame. Boy was I relived when it was dry underneath and lucky that the foam on these cushions were very thick!

__________

The four of us had been enjoying the Spaghetti dinner that Tammy had made and it sure was very good. It turned out that she made it the same way Andria my wife made it; she baked it in the oven with lots of cheese on top. She also made her own Garlic bread like Andria made except for the fact that Tammy used store bought bread and Andria used a bread maker I had bought for her one year for Christmas. My wife even over time after lots of trials and errors, made several of her own bread recipes. I loved her homemade bread so much, that it was the one thing I couldn't bear to get rid of. I am not talking about her bread machine, after all, that was just a machine and could be replaced. I was talking about what she put her heart and soul into developing, those recipes. When I gave the bread machine to a friend, I gave her a copy of the recipes but I kept the originals with me. Now I didn't know it at the time, but Tammy got her bread free from a local church. This selfless organization gave away free food to people in need once every month and one of the items was usually a lot of bread that was a few days old. Some of this bread was even the nice bakery type breads that you had to slice yourself and was what she had used for her garlic bread.

While we ate, we talked about several things. Like how crazy the boys can get if they have too much sugar, I was reminded of how I gave Zacky ice-cream earlier. I was glad that the boy kept our secret and didn't reveal to his mom that I gave him sugary sweets. Ozzy tried to tell me why he liked to wear diapers. He certainly didn't think it was fair that his older brother got to wear them all the time and he couldn't. This conversation got shut down real quick by Tammy though before it could get to out of control. I told them about my life. Like my own kids, my wife and her death, and my decision to sell my house and move to the Apartment here. One of the last things I remember talking about was the boys' older sister.

"So, Zacky has told me that you have a daughter but so far all I know is that he refers to her as Sissy and that she is mean to him." I couldn't help chuckling as I said this and seeing the look on both of the young boys' faces.

"Oh yes, Suzie is my eldest and is 11. Also she is not as bad as Zacky makes her out to be and is very helpful to me. Zacky just doesn't like the idea that his older sister is often left in charge of him and that means he has to listen to her. Of course like all siblings they do argue and fight amongst themselves." Tammy explained and I wondered what she meant by her stating that she left her 11-year-old daughter in charge of her two younger brothers; two little boys that were only 8 and 5.

I tried my best to form this next question right so it would not upset the young mother. "Tammy, do you mean like if you were to run down to the laundry room for a while or to the local grocery store to pick up a few things and going to be back within an hour time?" I asked hoping that was what she meant and that she would answer truthfully.

For a moment Tammy didn't answer at all but she didn't have to as Zacky answered for her in her hesitation. "Mommy leaves us with Sissy when she goes to work and she babysits us." He answered innocently not knowing that what he said was wrong or could get his mother in trouble.

Tammy let out a sigh of frustration and looked at her son then looked back at me. "It isn't what you think Mr. Ryder..." she started to say but I interrupted her.

"Please Tammy, call me Kirk." It was more than a request, but a statement that she couldn't refuse.

"Oh... Ok Kirk. As I was about to say is that I am not a bad mom and I don't want you to think that. I did have a regular babysitter for my kids but I had to let her go because she wasn't doing her job that I paid her for. She wasn't really keeping a watchful eye on the kids. Also, since she was here, my boys wouldn't even try to listen to their sister so she couldn't get them to behave or follow the rules. In frustration, my daughter just gave up and spent most of her time at her friends because she felt like she had no authority here and the sitter wasn't helping to make it easier for her. All the sitter cared about was getting paid and doing as little work as possible for it. At first I didn't take my daughter serious, but after coming home several times and finding both of my boys in leaking, smelly, diapers, I began to get a little upset. My only problem was that I couldn't find anyone else willing to watch my children and take care of their special needs for the price I could afford. It didn't stop me from getting angry though when I came home only to find Ozzy still in his night or nap diaper and it so full that it was leaking because neither he nor she removed it." At this point she stopped speaking and stared at her youngest son and lets out a sigh of frustration before continuing, "He of course as you already know, wants to wear diapers and would never remove it on his own. He also would throw a fit if his sister tried to do it. This only made the sitter upset at my daughter and she would tell her to leave Ozzy alone, that she didn't want to hear his screaming. The same with Zacky, not that he didn't want his diaper changed, just that he didn't like his big sister bossing him around and taking him away from his play. It was only recently I decided to let Suzie take over watching her brothers. I knew that she would make sure they followed the rules and if they knew she was in charge, they wouldn't be able to get away with not listening to her. I also gave her the authority to spank them if they misbehave and only if they deserve it. I know she is too young to be left alone with them for so long, but I am only doing this until I can find someone else to look after them." Tammy explained to me. "I even let her go to camp for this week so she can have some fun before she is laden down for the rest of the summer with these two brats." As she said this she laughed, showing that she was joking.

Both Zacky and Ozzy didn't seem to notice it was a joke though as they both started to make a fuss about what their mom just said. As for me, I just smiled as I looked at them try to fight for their justice. I then looked back to their mom and considered my thoughts before speaking what was on my mind. I wasn't sure if I wanted to make the offer that I was thinking of making. A part of me really didn't want to because I was afraid of what it would lead to. Another part of me wanted to make this offer because I knew exactly what it could lead to. In the end it was the latter part of me that won out. I wanted so desperately to get closer to Zacky and not for good intention either. I also thought that Ozzy was cute too and in a few years would be about the right age for me if he keeps that cute factor he has now.

I took in a breath and then took the plunge, "Well Tammy, I know we just met and all and other than what information I have told you, you really don't know anything about me. What I am trying to say is that if you want, I would be willing to watch your kids. As for changing Zacky or Oz, I don't think that should be a problem at all. If needed, I don't mind helping with other things too. I just would hate to see you get into trouble for not having proper care for your kids and losing them."

I was surprised at how fast Tammy answered me. "Yes! I would love that! It would be an answer to a prayer and I could show you the routine as well starting tomorrow if you want or if you need more time, I can do it anytime in the next 3 days, after that I go back to work and Suzie will be here. Of course if you need that much time to get settled in, she can always show you or we can do it on one of my days off!" She answered excitedly at the proposal.

Today was Thursday June 23rd, and it just happened to be 6 days after Zacky's 8th birthday, something that came up during the dinner conversation. I knew it would take me at least a couple days to finish unpacking and I didn't want to be made to rush the process, even for Zacky. I was retired now and didn't have anything else to do and needed something to fill my days, as long as it wasn't just constant cartoons. It was my hope to get these kids outside some this summer.

"I think it will take me a couple days at least to get everything unpacked and settled. I can do it on the 26th if that is okay with you?" I asked Tammy even though she had stated it was okay just a moment ago.

"Yes it will be okay, I will need to go and pick up Suzie from the school parking lot. That is where the buses are dropping them off at. She is supposed to get back around 1:30pm though she may get a ride from her friend's parents. I am not sure yet, she said she would call and let me know before they leave camp." Tammy explained, she then looked at her boys. "What do you think of Mr. Ryder watching you guys from now on?" She asked them.

Both Zacky and Ozzy shouted out at the same time, "Yes!"

"This of course doesn't mean you can't listen to your big sister. She is going to help take care of you still so that Mr. Ryder won't have to do everything." Tammy declared right away just to let them know that they were not going to be able to get away with stuff like they did before with the last babysitter.

"Mommy, I don't want Sissy to change me, I want Mr. Ryder to do it." Zacky pleaded and as an afterthought he added, "And I want him to give me my bath too! Sissy almost drowns me!" He stated in all the little boyish emphasis he could muster.

Ozzy not wanting to be left out of the deal making added that he wanted the same things but I think he just wanted to take the power away from his sister and hope that I would diaper him or let him stay diapered longer. I had no problem letting the little boy have his wish but I wasn't going to go against his mother's wishes on this, at least not in a way that I could be caught.

Tammy sighed before speaking, "That will be up to Mr. Ryder. I am sure he would prefer to let your sister do those things though. He is just here to make sure you guys stay out of trouble and don't burn the place down."

I couldn't help smiling at what Tammy said before replying, "It will be no problem Tammy. If they want me to do those things for them and I am here, I will do it. To be honest, I was really never there for my kids when they were little due to my working all the time. Now that I am retired, it gives me sort of the chance I never had with my own children."

"Kirk, you are a Godsend. I don't know what I would do if you hadn't come along. I know I couldn't use my daughter to watch them like that for long. What would I do when school started back up? They got out of school in May and it starts back up at the end of August. Suzie has only been watching them since school let out. When they all go back to school, Ozzy will start first grade this year and Zacky is in the same Grade School as he is. Suzie starts Junior High this year, she will start school later in the morning and get out later in the afternoon then Zacky and Ozzy. If only I could have a straight nights work week but I can't. If I want my 40 hour work week, I have to be willing to work swing shift. I guess you can say I am lucky though, I don't work overnights, just any 8 hours during the day. I do know my schedule 2 weeks ahead of time which is a plus." She stated, sounding thrilled at my offer and as if it slipped her mind added, "Oh just one thing, I can't pay much, as I mentioned before I don't have much in the budget for babysitters."

"Don't worry about paying me. I will call it my act of community service. I need something to do in my retirement. I can't just sit around now collecting dust and waiting to die. I do ask one thing though, that I be allowed to take your children out into the community so that they are not always stuck in the apartment. We can walk to the park and library, or even to the pool. I can even take them to the theater." I offered.

"Wow, you are a saint Kirk and you are right, they do need to get out of the apartment more. As for swimming, the boys don't know how to swim and they will both probably have to wear swim diapers because I don't trust my little stinker." At this she gave what I could only describe as a mom look at Ozzy who just blushed. "Also, if you go to the movies, you will either have to make sure to get up during the movie to take Ozzy to the bathroom or he will go in his pants or in the case you prefer not to, I guess you can diaper him for the movie as he will probably use it as an excuse to potty in his pants anyway. Matter of fact, before you leave for your walk, make sure he goes to the bathroom."

I could see the frustration in Ozzy's face as his mother continued to talk about his toileting issue. I could tell the little boy just wanted to wear diapers and be left alone. He seemed to like the fact that his mom was leaving it up to me to let him wear a diaper while at the movies but otherwise, she wasn't bending on the `no diaper' rule. I really wanted to put in my own thoughts about this with his mom but I knew right now just wasn't the time. For now it would just have to be put on the back burner until the right time could come up for it.

"Remember Ozzy, you don't want to go potty in your pants because you might run into some of your friends when you are outside. You don't want your friends to see you with peed or smelly pants?" Tammy asked her youngest.

Ozzy blushed, "No Mommy I don't want my friends to ever find out that I even wear diapers to bed."

"Then little one, you better let Mr. Ryder know when you need to go potty! When I say this, I mean you better let him know right away and not wait until the last second when it is too late like you do a lot of times!" Tammy demanded of him.

Did I hear her right? So far she had mentioned him wetting himself but did Ozzy actually mess himself on purpose or waiting until the last moment and having an accident has come up! Well, at least I now knew and could keep an eye out for possible signs.

Supper was soon over and we had actually finished desert already when we were finishing up this last bit of conversation. To help Tammy out, I offered to change Zacky if he needed it and after a quick check she decided he was fine until bedtime. Before we had even sat down for supper, she not only cleaned up Ozzy, but also had changed Zacky's soaked diaper which I guess happened while he watched cartoons. Truthfully, the hour or so through dinner and conversation, was not enough time for Zacky to require a need for a change. So while the kids went off to play, I decided to help Tammy clean up the kitchen.

__________

At 8pm, Tammy got the boys ready for bed. She gave them both a bath together that was efficient. Once that was done, she diapered Zacky first then Ozzy, putting them into their night diapers. Last she had them brush their teeth before sending them to bed. Through the whole procedure, I watched and found it a loving experience between mother and children. It wasn't long after they were put to bed that they were fast asleep and I offered to get some wine from my apartment and continue our talk from dinner. At first while drinking we talked about normal stuff, like what to expect while sitting for the kids. I also remembered about the car booster seats and asked Tammy if she had any.

"Well, the boys do have them, but according to state law, Zacky is now 8-years-old and doesn't need one anymore." She stated a little unsure sounding it seemed to me.

"I understand he is old enough by law, but by weight and height, he isn't even close to being in the range to being allowed out of a booster chair. For his safety, I think you should keep him in one until he is the right height and weight no matter what his age is." I explained my thoughts to her.

"Well, he still does use his chair in my car as it allows him to see better." She acknowledged.

"Well that is good then, if you don't have a problem with me doing it, I want to buy both Zacky and Ozzy a chair or Booster for my car so we don't have to worry about switching out your car seats for them. I would need your help picking out what is the right size and appropriate for them as I don't have a clue." I suggested.

"I can do that, in fact, I am sure the boys would even want to help as well. After all they are the ones that will be sitting in them and I know they like to choose out their own stuff whenever they can. We can do that the same day we do the practice run. How does that sound?"

I laughed at the thought of the boys trying to pick out their own booster seats. "Sounds good."

We continued to talk like that and soon found that we had drunk through a couple of bottles of wine. I guess the wine loosened Tammy up a little and made it easier for her to talk about things like her hard times and what happened to her husband. She began to tell me what happened to her husband and how Zacky ended up in diapers.

"I guess everything started to go wrong the day of the car accident that caused the death of my husband and almost took Zacky from me as well. It was 4 years ago. Zacky was 4-years-old and loved his daddy. Funny thing about this whole thing was that I just got him day trained about 6 months before the accident. He still wet the bed at night so needed night diapers for that but other than that he was trained on everything else and hadn't had a daytime or even a nighttime poop accident in that almost 6 month time period. That day his Daddy let him go along as he did a few errands. He was doing me a favor as Zacky could be a handful at times and I was busy dealing with a sick 2-year-old. I didn't know anything about the accident and was starting to get worried as it was getting late and they hadn't returned yet. Suzie who was 7 at the time was at the neighbor's house but when she returned home and started to ask about her daddy, I began to get worried. I knew that it shouldn't have taken more than an hour for them to do what they needed to get done at the most and they had been gone now over 2 hours, almost 3. Even though it was 2011 and almost everyone by then had cellphones, my husband was one of those who didn't believe in wasting money on them. I had very little choice if I wanted to find my husband and Zacky, I knew where they were going and I figured they must have stopped somewhere along the way or the car broke down, anything that explained the extra time it was taking for them to get back. I was about to pack up the kids in my car and go looking for them when there was a knock at our door." At this moment she stopped and I could see tears run down her face, I was sure where this was probably going.

"Let me guess, it was the police at your door." I offered an answer for her to which she just nodded in silent reply.

She tried her best to wipe the tears from her eyes and continued, "Yes, it was an officer. He came to let me know that there was an accident. According to him, the time of the accident showed that it happened shortly after my husband left the house. His car was struck by an oncoming truck. The driver ran a red light, and had been speeding. The officer also informed me that alcohol was a contributing factor. When I later found out that the drunken bastard survived the crash with just a few scratches and bruises and my husband died on impact, I was pissed. What really stung was when we found out that he had no license and the truck he was driving wasn't even insured. I couldn't even take the guy to court because he didn't have a job or any assets of any kind to go after. Our own insurance barely covered the cost for Zacky's recovery. When they told us at first he may be paralyzed from the waist down, I became afraid that I would be in serious trouble. With no job or enough insurance to cover everything, I felt lost especially since I lost my rock, my husband Mark." At this point Tammy started crying; I wasn't sure if it was because of her lost husband or due to all the old wounds being ripped opened again.

"Tammy, if this hurts too much to talk about, you don't have to..." I tried to tell her but as if I never said anything, she didn't respond to me at all.

Instead of responding, she wiped her tears away and continued. "I may be a bad mother for admitting this, but when I found out how bad Zacky was, I considered that he might have been better off dead like his father. The doctors at first were not sure if they could save him and the first 24 hours were touch and go. After that Officer came and told me about the accident and that my husband was dead but my son was still fighting for his life, I managed to talk the neighbors into watching the other 2 children for me. It wasn't meant to be for long, just for the next couple days. I gave them a spare key to the house so that they could get anything they needed. The officer did not want me to drive in my condition and offered to drive me to the hospital. I took his offer as I wasn't sure if I could trust myself behind the wheel. Those 2 days turned into a week that I spent at the hospital. I was told not to worry about Suzie and Ozzy, that they were being well taken care of. I was happy when I found out that Zacky would not be paralyzed as they had earlier thought. Of course they followed this with bad news about the nerve damage that controlled his bodily functions and how severe it was. They mentioned that maybe someday with new technology and discoveries they might be able to repair such damage, but at this time it just wasn't possible. They warned me that there were surgeons out there that could probably offer some hope of fixing it or better control, but it would be risky surgery and not covered by any insurance. They further explained that these types of surgeries would be very expensive and in most cases would not work at all." At this moment in her story, I couldn't help interrupting her.

"Did you look into it anyway?" I asked knowing that it is always a good idea of having a second opinion.

"Of course, I wasn't going to take one doctor's word about it. I know they always tell you to get a second opinion. I talked to several people once Zacky returned home and finally found a specialist who dealt in nerve damage of this type. It took a while to get an appointment with him as he had a busy schedule but I was able to get Zacky into him about 8 months after the accident. At least by then he had healed from his injuries. Zacky had been very proud of being a big boy and when he found out he had to wear diapers again, he cried. He did have a choice to wear a catheter but he still had to wear something for the pooping so it didn't make sense to make him go through all the discomfort of the catheter which he hated when he was in the hospital. After 8 months he was starting to get use to his diapers but he didn't like the idea of getting teased. He had just started Kindergarten and already kids were teasing him for his diapers. Zacky really had his hopes that this specialist could fix him. I guess it was my fault in getting his hopes up as I wanted him to look at the positive outcome of this doctor visit. We had to travel by plane to where he was so that was his first airplane ride. All my friends and the local church we attended at the time chipped in and paid for all our expenses including the Doctor's fees. They also took care of Suzie and Ozzy while we were away for the week. I am glad that this doctor was an honest man. After taking many scans of my son's damaged nerves and going through the original surgeons report he gave me his honest opinion. He explained that he could tell me that there was a possibility of improving my son's ability to tell when he has to go but he really didn't want to lead me on or take money from me that he knew that I didn't have to spend. He stated that it was his professional opinion that at this time there was no known procedure that could repair the nerve damage done to my son. Even though I had wanted to stay positive about it and give my son hope, I knew it was a long shot. Zacky on the other hand felt betrayed and took it hard to lose all the hope he had built up. I don't know if he still remembers that visit today, but I know that if he didn't have problems with kids making fun of him still, he wouldn't care one bit about his diapers. At home he completely forgets that he is even wearing them these days and is more comfortable running around in just his diaper. In fact, he prefers to be just in his diaper if allowed. The only time he doesn't want to be that way is when people are around that don't know about his secret or make him feel uncomfortable about wearing diapers." She explained and this reminded me of how she had pulled down Zacky's pants and exposed his diaper in front of me.

"I don't mean to sound like I am saying you're a bad mother or against your parenting style, but if Zacky is so afraid of people finding out about his secret, why did you expose his diaper in the hallway like you did?" I asked Tammy, trying my best to not sound harsh or blunt.

"I should have guessed that question was going to come up sooner or later. I kind of forgotten all about it though until you reminded me. The thing is, with all the bills we had piling up, I had to sell the house not long after returning back from seeing that specialist. I wanted to wait until the school year ended since both Suzie and Zacky just started their new school year at their current school, but I couldn't afford to stay where we were. I got enough money from the house to live on for a little while, just enough to get this place and settled in and then find a job. I had to then find a babysitter who was affordable and was lucky at the time to find an elderly lady who was willing to watch them on my schedule for the little I was able to pay her. She also had no problem dealing with diapers. She was my best sitter I ever had and she worked out well until her age caught up with her and she just couldn't do the job anymore. That was 2 years ago. I then went through 3 other sitters since then with the last one being the worst of the bunch. The other 2 just up and quit on me, one of them after working about 7 months and the other only after 2 days! So you see why I was very reluctant to fire the last sitter since she did show up and at first she was doing the job as she was expected. Then somewhere along the line she just stopped. I tried to get on her about it and her comeback was to tell me to try finding someone to replace her at the price she was doing the job for. I knew she was right and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find anyone else to replace her so I could fire her. I couldn't quit my job and I kept begging the boys to just let Suzie take care of them but of course I wasn't here to make them and no matter what I did later to reprimand them, it did nothing to change what the sitter said to Susie when she tried to do what I asked." I interrupted her at this point.

"I am sorry Tammy but you already told me all of this already, what does this have to do with what you did with Zacky." I asked as I felt she was wandering away from the question on purpose or maybe trying to deflect from it some to make it not sound as bad when she came back to it. Whatever the reason, I wasn't sure where all of this was going.

"I am sorry Kirk, I was just trying to state that because of all of this, everyone in this building knows that Zacky wears diapers already. He would be leaking so bad that his pants would be soaked and stink of piss and all the other tenants in this building and a lot of the other buildings around here knew he had a problem and knew he wore diapers. This means that the only one around here that didn't know was you. I guess it is possible somebody could enter the building that didn't know but I was betting we would hear them before they got up to our floor. The biggest thing was I wanted to gauge your reaction when you found out my son was still in diapers." She explained.

I thought for a minute about what she said. "So she wanted to judge my reaction." I thought to myself. "Well I certainly had some thoughts when she did that, I am glad though that I didn't let them come to the surface like I almost did." My thoughts continued.

Tammy went on explaining why she exposed her son's diaper like she did. "I don't want my son hurt emotionally by anyone because they decide they don't want to be around him because he has to wear diapers all the time. The last person that I allowed to get close to him had done that exact thing when he found out. I just wanted to get it all out in the open right away before it gone any further and before my son had a chance to get hurt. I was impressed that you stuck around and came inside. As for that last guy, I had enrolled Zacky in the Big Brother's program as I could see he was missing his Daddy still and was craving male attention. Ozzy is a mommy's boy and Suzie likes to think of herself as independent. Zacky was the odd one out and was the one who really didn't have any friends, so I thought the Big Brothers program would be a good fit for him. When he was finally matched with a Big Brother he was so happy. They went out on their first outing and had a ton of fun and Zacky loved it. On the second outing Zacky's pooped his diaper while out with his Big Brother. Now the sad thing is, I informed the program that my son had to wear due to severe nerve damage and had no control over his bowels or bladder; I had assumed that they had informed the Big Brother of this. I had at first considered talking it over with him but Zacky begged me not to. He asked me to just change him into a clean diaper before the outings and that he would try and use the potty before being re-diapered. It turned out that the guy had no idea that Zacky had to wear a diaper and was disgusted with the smell of his accident and the thought that he could have more like it on other outings and embarrass him. He ended up saying he couldn't be my son's Big Brother because no one bothered to let him know about my son's special needs. He stated clearly he would not be responsible for changing diapers and he didn't want to deal with a kid in diapers. The worst part of this was it was all said in front of Zacky and it tore him apart! I wanted to strangle the bastard for hurting my son like he did and this was after he gained my son's trust. So now I protect him and that is why I did what I did."

I had to admit, her answer made sense. I probably would have killed the guy if I had been in her place. "Tammy, I can understand why now. I would do anything to protect Zacky too! I know it has only been one day but I think the little guy is quickly growing on me. I think I was taken the minute he first started asking me questions, firing them one after another in my kitchen," she just smiled as if she understood exactly what I meant.

Before I left that evening to head back to my own apartment, I decided maybe it was the right time to ask about Ozzy and his wanting to wear diapers. "Tammy, I am curious about something, I know how you feel about Oz wearing diapers but I have to ask, if the little guy is so desperate to be diapered that he is willing to have accidents in his pants if not being watched carefully, why not just give in and allow him to wear diapers?" I asked her. "Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to anger you or tell you how to raise your children, but it sounds like it may just be easier on both you and his care giver and to be honest, if his wish is great enough, he may not care and even go as far as to start having accident around his friends. This way he takes this threat of you embarrassing him away from you."

I saw the young mother sigh before explaining. "You are right, there are many times I have just wanted to give in to him and I have even done so many times. The real problem is that I can't afford diapers for the boys and my Medicare on them pays for them. Since Zacky has a medical condition that requires diapers full time, He gets enough diapers and supplies to keep him in diapers full time. With Ozzy, the doctor knows that he doesn't have a medical need for diapers in the daytime, so he only supplies me enough diapers and supplies for him for nights and naps. To diaper Ozzy more, I have to use Zacky's diapers on him which means fewer changes for Zacky. It just comes down to the fact that I can't afford to keep one son in diapers when he doesn't need them." She finished explaining.

I thought a bit on what she said and while I wasn't rich by any means, I thought there could be a compromise we could reach here. It of course would mean that I would have to shell out a little of my own money every month but I felt it would be worth it to keep a little boy happy, and it wasn't like I was going to supply him full time diapers either. "Tammy, how about this as a compromise, while he is with me, you allow him to be diapered if he wants to. This way he gets to wear diapers part time like he wants to and then the rest of the time he will wear regular underwear and be expected to use the potty or be punished." I could see she was about to rebuke the idea and before she could, I quickly to her the rest of my plan. "So that you don't have to worry about the extra cost, I will purchase all the diapers and supplies he needs while I am watching him. This will make things also a lot easier for me as I will not have to worry about him constantly going in his pants which he will almost inevitably do the first chance he gets."

This seemed to get through to her as I saw her consider all I said. We went back and forth a bit before a final compromise was worked out between us that I thought Ozzy would be happy with. Of course there would be one stipulation that might be a blockade on the whole thing but it was going to be his choice and if he wanted diapers bad enough, then it wouldn't matter to him. For the time being though, we agreed not to mention anything about it to any of the kids, until the day I started my run through training with Tammy. By then, I would have the needed diapers supplies to get him started, if he balks at the idea, the diapers would be used for times when we go out, like the theater or long walks.

With the plan set for Ozzy in place, I thanked Tammy for the nice evening and the delicious meal. As I walked the short distance back to my apartment I couldn't help wondering what the next several weeks watching Zacky and his siblings would bring me.

__________

That night when I went to bed, before going to sleep, I found myself thinking back on everything that had happened that day. When the thoughts about how cute Zacky was came into my mind, especially remembering what he looked like naked as he and Ozzy got their bathes and put into their night diapers, I found my cock becoming engorged with blood. "Oh God! Please don't let me get hard at the thought of a little naked boy!" No matter how much I begged though, it didn't work as I continued to stiffen and my mind became filled with sexual perverted fantasies I wanted to do with the young boy. "Why is this diaper boy making me so hard? Why am I not instead disgusted by it?" Instead I found the idea of the diaper was actually turning me on even more. For the first time in a while, I jacked myself off that night, instead of jacking off at the thoughts of my wife though, I jacked off at the thoughts of sticking my cock into Zacky's small tight ass and fucking it until I filled it with all the cream I could!