Date: Tue, 26 Dec 2000 13:11:32 -0500 From: Charlie Subject: David's Christmas Present 7 The following story is total fiction. Any relationship to persons living or dead is purely accidental. This story depicts sexual acts between people of the same sex (male), some of whom are under age. If you find this concept distasteful, or if it is illegal where you live, or if you are underage, please stop reading now. VII. Nothing Is Ever Simple David woke at his usual time at 5:30. When he opened his eyes, Adam was already awake and looking at him, that strange, almost drugged look still on his face. "Morning, beautiful," David said. "You ok?" "Never better," Adam replied. He wriggled his butt, grinding in closer to David, and grinned. "I can still feel that thing every time I move," he said. "It's totally awesome! You gotta try it, David!" "I intend to, before I let you go poking in there," David replied. "But first things first. We better get up and get going. I want to swim a few laps this morning - it helps me to relax. Then we've gotta get dressed and get outta here. I'm hoping to catch up with Ben before our court hearing, and that's at 10. "I want to leave that plug in today," Adam announced as they got out of bed. "Not a chance, Adam! In the first place, I don't think it's a good idea to go walking around with that stuck up there, especially your very first time. In the second place, what if you have to - you know, go to the bathroom? And in the third place, what if someone finds out it's there? Dammit, Adam, you just can't... I mean, shit, man, you've got to show a little common sense! Dammit, Adam, what's so great about getting fucked anyway? I'm really tryin' to make you happy here, but you've gotta do your part!" "Ok, ok! I get the picture. I'm sorry..." David suddenly realized that he'd got really upset and was screaming. Suddenly all the tension of the past few days were there, overwhelming David! Suddenly he realized that he was taking on much, much more than a sex partner, a lover. He was undertaking full responsibility for the life, the future, of a human being! If this went through as planned, it would be David's responsibility to see to it that Adam had a good start in life: physically, educationally, emotionally! Could he do it? Well, he had to, didn't he? It was already too late to turn back, assuming that turning back was an option; in David's eyes, it certainly wasn't! "C'mere, you beautiful little Indian!" David ordered. Then they were in each other's arms; naked, vulnerable, trusting, giving. "I'm sorry, Adam," David whispered as his hands roamed up and down Adam's slender back. "It's just... well, I love you so much, and I want to do right by you. I just don't know... you've had such a lousy start in life and I want to make it right! But there are millions of experts out there who would say if I really loved you I'd stay the fuck out of your pants. I just get so confused..." "Just love me, David!" Adam pleaded as he completely broke down. "I'm a kid and you're an adult. You've seen so much more than I have. I'm gonna want to do things that I shouldn't do, and you're gonna have to do what you just did. I understand that, David! But please, PLEASE, don't give up on me! I need you so much... I love you so much!" David found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, naked, holding a totally gorgeous, naked fourteen year old weeping Indian boy much like one would hold a newborn infant. Perhaps in some ways he was newborn! Maybe, hopefully, this moment would mark the beginning of a new life for Adam; perhaps the only life he'd ever known! He pulled the boy close to him and cuddled him. Adam cried harder, but not without wrapping his arms around David's mid section and squeezing. David knew now that he had no choice. The commitment had already been made, the die cast. David was now, like it or not, Social Services support or no, court ruling notwithstanding, Adam's guardian, mentor, protector. David knew now that he and he alone would be responsible for Adam's next years: formidable years! The next four years of Adam's life would shape the following sixty years; and like it or not, those four years were on David's shoulders. With tears in his eyes, he squeezed the naked frame in his arms just a little tighter. "It's ok," he whispered. "Calm down, Adam. Whatever else happens in your life, you've got me. Fuck Social Services, the legal system, whatever. You've got me, Adam, and don't ever forget it!" Adam did quiet down. He opened his deep liquid brown eyes and looked into David's. "Would you help me get that plug out?" he said. "Of course, Adam," David answered. "I was the one that put it in there, the least I can do is help get it out." They swam laps that morning. Oh, did they swim laps! Back and forth, each in his own world, yet at the same time each completely one with the other. There wasn't a word spoken for over an hour; there wasn't a touch. Not one! But there was communication nonetheless; it was the communication of two soul mates. They were one in their goals, their aspirations. They would do what they had to do to achieve, to be successful, to satisfy their self esteem. The sky was the limit, and the only caveat was that they must not hurt anyone else on their climb to the top. This restriction they both accepted readily, without thought. All else was fair. And then it was time to get dressed for their court appearance. "Can I wear my new underwear?" Adam asked. "The long underwear?" David questioned. "Uh-huh." "Well," he said, "I guess it is still pretty cold out. Yeah, if you want to wear it, go ahead. But wear that blazer and silk shirt, and that heavy gold chain on your neck, ok?" "Damn, David! You tryin' to impress someone or something?" "Yup. I'm tryin' to show the world that I got me a Christmas tree here, and I fully intend to decorate it to the fullest." "So how does it feel now?" David asked when they were in the truck. "How does what feel? ...Oh, you mean my butt?" "Of course your butt! We treated it kinda rough last night. How does it feel now?" "The truth is," Adam said after a slight hesitation, "it's kinda sore." "I'm not surprised," David observed. The cab of the truck fell silent. To David's great relief, Adam appeared to have lost interest in anal sex. Maybe that butt plug had hurt him enough to discourage him, David thought to himself. At least that's what he was hoping. They had their meeting with Ben. True to his usual insensitive self, Ben made no attempt to hide his reaction to the appearance of his two clients. David was wearing a pretty typical three piece suit; this one was a little different from the norm, this one had set its wearer back over seven hundred dollars! But it did little to set David apart; this was his usual business attire. Suffice to say he looked like a model who had just stepped off the runway. Adam, on the other hand, was something else. Who among us has even seen, at any time, a fourteen year old wearing grey flannel slacks, dark blue blazer; dark blue silk shirt open halfway down the neck, and a heavy gold chain that hung halfway down his front. His long black hair was, as usual, combed and brushed to perfection. It cascaded down from his head, covering his slender neck, then rested sedately on his shoulders like a very thick cape. It caught every hint of light and reflected it a thousand times. Adam's long black hair had almost in an instant converted David to a long hair lover. Adam's hair was nothing short of spectacular! "This is George Jameson," Ben said as he tried to put the whole scene together. "He has a reputation for being the best family lawyer in town. He will handle the adoptions, the custody hearings, negotiations with Social Services, all that sort of thing. I will deal with any litigation, civil actions that might fall out the bottom. There might even be criminal action here, and if there is you can bet I'll be trying to get it prosecuted." "I don't want any law suits if I can avoid it," David said. "And I certainly don't want anyone going to jail. Whatever Adam endured in the past, he's gotten through it and it's over. We just want to help him get on with his life." "We understand that," Ben agreed. "But sometimes the fear of a lawsuit can do far more than arguing ourselves blue. And believe me, David, we have lots of grounds here for at least five lawsuits." George Jameson was good, David certainly had to give him credit where credit was due. In very short order he had Social Services looking pretty stupid and uncaring. Mrs. Morrison's supervisor, a Mr. Dennings, had decided to appear and argue for Social Services in Mrs. Morrison's place. Sorry, Mr. Dennings, very bad judgment! He was called upon to explain why his budget would not allow for proper medical treatment for one of his wards. He was accused of total neglect at having Adam, and no one knows how many others, turned out on the streets at precisely the time when those kids most needed some stability, some continuity. And then he was requested to provide one good reason why the court should not grant custody of this neglected, abused child to David Saunders. Of course there followed a rather long dissertation about David and all that he had accomplished. There was a detailed description of his house, and of course Adam was requested to stand up for all to see the transformation that had occurred in only a few short days. The point was made that David was unmarried, with no prospects of a wife any time soon. This point was quite summarily shot down by George who pointed out that a good twenty-five percent of families in the US today were headed by a single parent. He also pointed out that David had more than sufficient resources to hire a maid, nanny, or whatever should the need arise. Mr. Dennings was certainly scarred, but he wasn't out. "Your honor," he said with a tone that was meek, apologetic, almost charming. "As you well know, the Department of Social Services is not perfect. As hard as we try, we make mistakes. Accepting the Crawford family as foster parents was very obviously one of those mistakes. I want to assure this court that we shall rectify this situation immediately. But your honor, that leaves us with something of a dilemma. Only three days after Christmas, it is practically impossible to find new foster homes. We have been assured that the subject of this custody hearing, Adam Rollins, is being well cared for, and for that we are thankful. But we at Social Services have other concerns. We have two more children who will be homeless if we close down the Crawford's as foster parents. "I have listened as Mr. Jameson told of all the reasons why David Saunders should be granted custody of Adam. He is wealthy, he has a large home, lots of room, apparently unlimited resources. Why then should he not be considered an appropriate foster parent for not one, but three boys? I have two more boys residing with the Crawford's. If they are unfit for one, then they must certainly be unfit for all three!" David looked sharply at Adam. "Two more boys?" he questioned. "Well, yeah," Adam answered. "I'm sorry, David. I never dreamed this would happen. Jody and Eric are twins. They're nine I think. They're really cool kids, but..." "But what?" David demanded. "But they're nine, man! I mean, they're only nine! I thought..." "Your honor," George said, "might we have a short recess while I confer with my client? This new revelation is something of a surprise, and we need to talk things over before any rash decisions are made." "Take all the time you need," the judge agreed. "We'll reconvene after lunch." The recess granted, they all retired to a room provided: David and Adam, George and Ben. "Go," David ordered. He was obviously rather upset. "Ben and George, you're outa here! I need to talk to Adam, and I don't need you legal eagles around muddying the water." "David," Ben said, "I don't see how this new development..." "Nobody's asking you to see. All I'm asking you to do is get out. We'll call you in a few minutes." "All right, Adam," David said when they were alone, "exactly what did you mean by that remark?" "Remark?" Adam asked blankly, "what remark?" "They're only nine! I thought... What did you think, Adam? That I couldn't be interested in a boy of nine? That I couldn't care about you if you couldn't cum? That a nine year old penis doesn't measure up? Is that what you thought, Adam? Do you still believe we're here so I'll have a guaranteed bed partner for the foreseeable future?" "No, David! Honest, that's not what I meant! Well, actually, maybe it was. Oh hell, man, I dunno! I mean, now I feel like total shit! I just didn't..." "You didn't what, Adam? You didn't want to share your good fortune with anyone? You wanted me, or perhaps more important, my money, all to yourself?" David would have ranted on, but he realized that he'd gone too far. Adam was crying now, and in no condition to speak to anyone. "I'll go back to the system," he blubbered. "I won't bother you any more, and thanks for a super weekend. I never wanted anything but you, David. It was great that you had that great house and all, but it was YOU I loved! But I guess I just wasn't cut out to be rich. An' I certainly wasn't cut out to be a part of a great guy like you. I won't..." "Stop talking crazy!" David ordered. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I guess the fact that there were two more kids was a shock to everyone. And that Mr. Dennings was trying to use that surprise to get us all fucked up. He almost did it, too. I'm sorry, Adam. So tell me about Jody and Eric." Adam looked at his would-be foster father. "You're not thinking of taking them too!" he exclaimed. "Why not? Shit, man, Mr. Dennings was right. We've got lots of room, lots of money... I mean, why the hell not? What kinda kids are they?" "You're serious, aren't you?" "Serious as a heart attack. I just wish I'd known about them sooner. Now, are you gonna tell me about them, or do I have to find out for myself?" Adam was grinning broadly now. "They really are cute kids," he said. "They're really close, like twins ought to be. I think their biggest fear is that they get adopted into separate homes. Mrs. Morrison keeps telling them that they can't expect someone to take two little boys, and that separate homes is better than no home at all. Every time she gives that speech they end up crying. I think it'd be awful if they were separated." "Do they have any problems? I mean, health, school, behavior, anything like that?" "Not really. No, they're really pretty great little guys." "Then I don't see why they'd be so hard to adopt. I mean, surely there's someone out there who'd love to have..." "That's not all," Adam interrupted. "They got a problem all right; only the problem they've got, there's no cure for." "No cure? What is it, Adam?" "They're black, David! They're two of the cutest, sweetest little boys I've ever seen, but they are classified as 'Difficult to place' because they're African American." David was still deep in thought when Ben and George came back into the room. Evidently they'd done a little fact finding of their own, and had brought in reinforcements in the form of Arnie and Valerie. "David," Valerie said as she took his hand, "you can't be seriously thinking of taking those little boys, are you?" David didn't answer. "My God, you are!" Valerie exclaimed. "David, you can't!" "I dunno," he answered. "In some ways, it might be the best thing that ever happened! But I'd love to hear why you think I'll make a good guardian for Adam but not two little black boys." "You know as well as I do, David! You and Adam..." "That's what I thought. You think I want those two little boys so I can get into their pants, don't you? You think that's all Adam means to me, don't you?" "I didn't say that!" "You didn't deny it, either. So which is it?" "David," Arnie said, "I don't think you're being fair here. I think you know how much Val and I care about you, and we're with you all the way with Adam. We know your feeling for him goes far deeper than... well, you know. But I don't think you have any idea how much there is to raising two little boys. Adam is a young man and can pretty well take care of himself, given a good home and environment. But twin nine year old's, that's quite another story. And what of the goings-on between you and Adam? How do you explain that to them?" "The same way you explained goings-on between you and Val to your kids. Shit, Arnie, you think I'm stupid? What d'you think we're gonna do, get it on right in front of them?" David and Arnie stood and glared at each other. It suddenly occurred to David that this person, this man he had just cussed out, this guy he was tempted to deck at this very moment, was the brother he'd never known! Just as he'd discovered on Christmas Day that he did indeed have a family, today he had discovered that Arnie, his partner, best friend, hero in many ways, was his brother! Arnie cared enough about him to risk their friendship, his job, everything if he could keep David from doing something stupid. "You wanna know something kinda silly?" David said quietly, almost in a whisper. "I had no intention of adopting those boys. I felt that that Dennings guy was just trying to stonewall me and I decided to stonewall him right back! I figured I'd take them on a foster home basis until Adam was secure, then help try and find a home for them. But that's the worst kind of abuse, isn't it? I was gonna use those little boys to get what I wanted. Now I don't know, but I think I just might adopt all three of them! What do you think, Adam?" Adam was grinning. "I think all three of us will do everything in our power to be sure you regret it. But let's go! Let's do it!" "Not so fast," George said. "You don't really think Social Services is gonna place those kids for adoption with a single man, a WHITE single man, when they haven't even met you, and you haven't met them?" "No," David said, "I don't think they're quite that callous. But I do think they'll place them with me on a foster basis, in fact after what ding-a-ling said in court, I don't see that he has a choice unless he wants to look like and idiot in front of the judge. And if the foster home setup works out, then it's your job to make it permanent. Are you up for this?" "If you're sure..." "I'm sure about the foster home part. The rest we'll play by ear. But I've gotta know you're with me as far as I want to go with this." "I'm your attorney. I'll represent you whatever way you need. As for Dennings, just leave him to me." When court finally reconvened two hours later, they presented a united front to the judge. George and Ben had come to an agreement with Mr. Dennings. Adam was to be placed in David's care immediately as his adopted son, to be finalized after six months, or before if all parties agreed. Jody and Eric were to be moved into David's house as soon as they got home next week. Like Adam, they hadn't been welcome at the Crawford home over the holidays, so they had been shipped off to a football camp on the State University campus the day after Christmas, and Social Services had paid for it! Ben and George had kindly helped Mr. Dennings to see just how exposed he was, with the result that he was totally cooperative with them. The judge agreed with the proposals, and Adam officially had a new home. "David," Adam whispered as they were wrapping up. "In a sec, Adam," David answered, then he returned his attention to the judge. "Now, David," Adam pressed. "Please?" Now David's worst fears were realized. The judge noticed Adam trying to get David's attention. If only he'd been quiet for five more minutes! "Is there a problem, young man?" the judge inquired, somewhat irritated. "Uhhh.... well, yes sir, there is," Adam replied. "I just wondered... I mean the twins are in a student dorm at that football camp... Isn't there any way we could bring them home early? I know..." "That camp was expensive," Dennings interrupted. "It took an act of Congress to get the funds to send them. Why would you want to deprive them of that?" "Because they hate football!" Adam said as he stood, red-faced. The venom in his voice was very clear to everyone in the room. "They cried and cried when the Crawford's told them they had to go. They knew they'd be staying in a dorm and they were terrified! They wanted to go with me, but I knew I couldn't take care of them for a whole week." "They HAD to go?" the judge questioned. "Yes, sir. The Crawford's needed their beds. The football camp was just a way to get them outta the house without it costing them anything. They were gonna spend Christmas Eve in sleeping bags in the den." "Mr. Dennings?" the judge said, "you knew about this?" "No, your honor," he answered angrily. "I discussed it with Mrs. Morrison, and she seemed quite sure..." "Your honor," Mrs. Morrison said as she stood, "I'm not going to take the blame for this one. I haven't seen those two boys for over six months! I had no idea if they liked football or not. I know I should not have relied on the foster parents, but I have simply not had time to visit them. The attitude around the office is, if there isn't any noise coming from a foster home, it's probably all right." Ben and George were both on their feet, but before they could say anything, the judge raised his finger in a "shushing" motion. "Mr. Dennings," he said evenly, "I want those boys out of that dormitory, and they are NOT to sleep there tonight!" "Your honor, that's a three hour drive to get them. I don't know if..." "I'm going to be generous, Mr. Dennings. You say it's a three hour drive. I'll double that. You have six hours. They are to be in your custody by 8 PM. Mr. Saunders, is there any reason why you cannot take custody of those boys tonight?" "Well, uhhh... no, your honor. It's a little sudden, but under the circumstances..." "I'll take them," Mrs. Morrison said. "I'll go get them immediately and take them to a hotel, then deliver them to Mr. Saunders by seven AM. I understand you're going skiing tomorrow, is that right Mr. Saunders?" "Yes, ma'am, or at least we were." "Still are," Arnie offered. "We'll be delayed a few hours while we get to know the two boys, and of course we'll have to do some shopping. But I think it'll be a great way for us all to get to know each other." It was still only three PM when court was finally adjourned. David announced that he wanted to go home to pack, then go to bed early. To his own surprise, he discovered that Adam's enthusiasm over anal sex had rubbed off on him. He assumed that Adam would want to continue his "training," and now David wanted the same thing in spite of himself. Adam and Billy approached him as they were leaving the courthouse. "David," he said, then thought better of it. "Err.... Dad?" "I think David'll still be fine," he answered. "Considering our relationship, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with your calling me Dad." "I was really hoping I could call you Dad," Adam said with a look of disappointment. "I've never had a dad, never had anyone I could call Dad, Never had anyone I really wanted to really, 'til now. And besides, what'll we tell the twins?" "Ok," David said. "If it makes you feel better, then Dad it is. What did you want, son?" Adam looked at Billy and grinned, and Billy grinned back. He embraced Adam briefly but warmly. "Uhhh.... I was just wondering... Billy invited me over to spend the night. Is it ok? May I?" "But Adam," David protested, "we have to pack. The twins'll be leaving early in the morning, then we've got to take them shopping, and I definitely want you there when they arrive." "I'm pretty well all packed, really. And I can come over with the McDougall's in the morning. Please, Dad?" David wanted to protest, to say no, that it wasn't a very good idea. But what was he going to say? He couldn't very well say no, son, your new father wants to fuck you! He told himself that this was excellent: already Adam was feeling comfortable enough to be having sleepovers. But... what precisely did this sleepover mean? When would they get another chance to be alone? But he remembered his commitment. He had assured Adam that they were father and son first and lovers second. Had he meant it, or not? "Ok," he said weakly. "Don't you guys sit up talking all night. We've got a long day tomorrow before we ever leave, then a long drive, and I for one want to do some skiing soon as we get checked in." They both assured him that they would behave, Valerie assured him that she would see to it that they did, and they were all gone. David walked to the parking lot, climbed into his truck, the truck that Adam liked so much, and drove home. Alone. As he pulled the truck into the garage, he decided he wanted a steak; but that meant he would either have to go back out, or light the grill and cook it himself. Neither was appealing to him, so he forgot the steak and poured himself a stiff drink instead. He wandered around the big, empty house: the same big empty house he'd lived in for two years, but today it seemed twice as big and sixteen times as empty. He turned on the stereo and selected one of his home made Christmas CD's. Music on and loud, upstairs speakers on, he drained his glass and went up to his bedroom to pack. The first thing he spied was the black silk long underwear on his bed. It was Adam's second pair, discarded carelessly as the excited boy put on the other pair. He'd been so thrilled with that underwear! David had been thrilled too, because in his mind it was a rather strong sign that he had found something else they had in common: it appeared that Adam had something of an underwear fetish, the same as David did! David had drawers full of various types and styles of underwear; he changed underwear style depending on his moods, just as ladies did with hats, when ladies wore hats. He picked up the underwear and carefully removed the tags, then lovingly, carefully folded it and set it down on the bed again. He went to get Adam's suitcase from his room, brought it back to his own and opened it to put the underwear in. Packing done, he went through Adam's suitcase. It seemed almost eerie pawing through the boy's things, all of which were brand new, including the suitcase they were in. David was surprised at how thorough Adam had been, and how neatly everything was packed. Not at all like a normal teenager, he thought, but Adam had already proved himself to David that he was at least three notches above normal. And now he was... was... not here! David ran downstairs and got himself another glass of bourbon and water. Back in his bedroom, he lay on top of his bed and sipped his glass. He fished in his bedside table and pulled out the brown bag the doctor had given him. He reached in and pulled out the three butt plugs. He took the small one and held it to his nose. Yes, in spite of having been washed thoroughly, he could still smell the faint evidence that it had been used. Adam had been so excited! He'd been so anxious, he had practically begged to be impaled by this thing! David hadn't wanted to at first, but when Adam had that orgasm without having been touched, he knew that the plug had given him extreme pleasure! Adam had announced this morning that he was rather sore. Did that mean the end of his interest in anal sex. Perhaps just as well if he has lost interest, David thought; but unfortunately now David WAS interested! In fact more than interested! He took the medium plug and inspected it. Any anal opening that could accept this, he reasoned, could accept either Adam's or David's equipment with no problem. "I wonder..." he thought. Before long David had his shoes, pants and underwear off and was lying in a somewhat fetal position, had lubricated the medium plug and was beginning to try to insert it. No problem at first. He forced himself to relax, felt himself admit the tip of the rubber device. No pain at all! He pushed, and felt it advance a half inch. Then it seemed to bind. No problem, he thought, not enough lube. He withdrew the plug and laid it aside. He lubricated his index finger amply and inserted it, then worked it around as he'd done to Adam. More lube on the plug, concentrating now in the larger areas, then try again to insert it. This time it went in at least two inches. Almost halfway! He pushed again, and this time he felt the pain. There was the stretching of the opening itself, which although not totally painless, wasn't bad. But there was that internal pain, as if the plug had encountered an obstruction inside. He rested a few moments, then pushed again. It went a little further. He did this several times, and finally the stretching pain was getting to him, but he forged ahead. He pushed harder and felt the thing slide again, and then the relief as the ridge slid past his anal ring and the plug was in position. It felt incredible! Now David was even more depressed. He told himself he'd begun this play out of curiosity; and besides, if he were going to impose this sort of thing on Adam, it made sense that he know how much pain he was inflicting, didn't it? But he knew the truth: he was back where he'd been most of his life, practicing the ultimate safe sex: Solitary sex! Deciding to leave the plug in place for a little while, he gathered up the rest of the items and put them away. He lay there idly fondling himself when the stereo, still extremely loud, caught his attention. It was playing one of his all- time Christmas favorites, only now it meant something to him.... or at least it had meant something yesterday. Today, well, he wasn't sure any more. He got up and pulled on a pair of sweats as Kenny Rogers began to sing. Dawn is slowly breaking, our friends have all gone home You and I are waiting... for Santa Clause to come. There's a present by the tree, stockings on the wall Knowing you're in love with me is the greatest gift of all. There was a short instrumental interlude. David wasn't much of a musician, but he knew what he liked, and he loved this little interlude, building to a key change and Dolly Parton's verse: The fire is slowly fading, chill is in the air All the gifts are waiting... for children everywhere. Through the window I can see... the snow begin to fall Knowing you're in love with me is the greatest gift of all. The tears were flowing now. David was remembering all the Christmases that had been his childhood, his adolescence. The thing that stood out in his mind more than any other was that he had always wondered, before the gifts were opened, if his gifts for his parents would be good enough. They never were. He knew now, after all these years, what he'd been missing all this time. At last, finally, when he had least expected it, hadn't even been trying, David had loved and been loved! It had been so sweet! But was it over? Oh, he had a son, probably three of them, and he was pleased about that. He would do his best for those three regardless. That he would see to it that they wanted for nothing, that they had the best of everything was a no-brainer; but Adam had been so much more than a son, a friend, a homeless kid he'd befriended. Adam had been his lover! David wasn't ready to give that up yet, even knowing that he might very well have to do just that. "He's only fourteen," Arnie had exclaimed. "You've got to understand, David, he's still growing up, still feeling his way. Right now he thinks you're the most wonderful thing in the universe, and being your lover is the answer to all his prayers! But his adolescent mind could change tomorrow! He's too young to be making lifelong decisions; he can't possibly even know if he's gay or not! Are you ready for all that turmoil? Are you ready to accept that your affair could end in an instant, and still love him as a son?" Of course David was ready, he said. But now that he seemed to be facing that very situation, he wasn't at all sure that he could do it. As Dolly and Kenny finished their song, David sang along, tears streaming from his closed eyes. Just before I go to sleep, I hear a church bell ring. Merry Christmas, everyone... is the song it sings. So I say a silent prayer, for creatures great and small. Peace on earth, goodwill to men, is the greatest gift of all. "When you get like this," a voice said as the music clicked off, "I know better than to try to ring the bell. I hope you don't mind, but I let myself in." "Arnie? What in the world are you doing here?" "I saw the look, David." "The look?" "Yeah, the look! The look that said you had plans for Adam, but he had other plans. The look that said you were hurt, upset, devastated! The look that said you were finally beginning to understand what I've been trying to tell you!" "Please don't lecture me, Arnie," David pleaded. "I know you're right, and I know what I have to do and I'll do it. I know what I've committed to and I'll see it through, and glad to do it! But right now it's a little tough, ok? I'll be ok." "David, you don't know near as much as you think you do! I knew where you'd be. You think I've never seen you like this before? You come home and closet yourself in your house, turn up the stereo until it's deafening, then sing along with it until you're so fuckin' drunk and depressed you should be on suicide watch!" "Now it's you who don't know what you're talking about!" "I think I do, but it really doesn't matter. I just thought there were some things you should know, then I'll leave you. I'll even turn your speakers back on on my way out." "What's happened?" David demanded as he propped himself up on one elbow. "Is Adam... has anything happened to him?" "As a matter of fact, something has happened to him," Arnie said as he sat on the edge of the bed. "YOU happened to him, David! He was so excited going home with us I thought he was gonna explode! He said to Billy at least a dozen times, 'Did you see him? Did you see what he did? And he's gonna be my dad! For good! Man, is he awesome, or what!' We all tried to tell him how pleased we were for him, finally having a home. He answered with things like, 'It's not just a home, it's a home with David Saunders! He's my dad!' He worships you, David! I mean, he's known you four days, has been your son four hours, and already he thinks you're the greatest dad in the entire world!" "You're kidding me," David accused. "I know he was pleased and excited; who wouldn't be? I mean, this house, the Vette and that red truck, lots of money, a private school, nice clothes, all things that he'd only dreamed about, and now they're a part of his life! Who wouldn't be excited?" "You really think that's what it's all about with him? Money and cars and trucks, computers and nice clothes?" "No, but... I mean... he sure didn't seem to have any problem leaving me and goin' home with Billy. Did it occur to you that maybe he and Billy..." "Of course it occurred to me! But I don't think so, David. If that is what's going on, I'll deal with it, and so will you. But I don't think so. What I think is that he's a fourteen year old boy, and for the first time in his life he's accepted for what he is, and he's perfectly secure. He needs time, David! He needs time to be a kid, and kids have friends! I don't know if he's ever had friends before, but I suspect not. Now he can! Are you gonna stand in the way of that?" David and Arnie talked for over two hours. Arnie told about Jody and Eric, and what great little kids Adam said they were. David pointed out that Adam hadn't bothered to tell him all this information. "I know that," Arnie said, "and so does Adam. That's why he thinks you are so wonderful! Even without all that information, on just his say-so, you were willing to take them in. He thinks that's so special, and... and I do too, David." Before David knew what was happening, and before he could protest, he was in Arnie's arms being hugged and... and kissed. He was so shocked he could hardly breathe! Arnie was so straight, so unavailable, so... so married! Was David about to see a new facet to his best friend? But no, what he was feeling was not erotic, but what one might expect from a brother, father, or... a friend so close that it defied description. "You've just signed up for twenty years of hell," Arnie whispered. "You're gonna love every second of it. Just remember, they're the kids, you're the adult. What happens now, how they develop, if they make it, all these things are up to you. You can't let 'em down, David!" * * * I sincerely hope you enjoy my writing efforts. If you do, or for that matter if you don't, I would appreciate if you would write to me. My email address is charlieje@mindspring.com.