Date: Sun, 20 Dec 2020 14:57:39 -0600
From: Keith Yates <keith.96@att.net>
Subject: Devyn's Struggle 35

This is a fictional story that might involve sexual acts between two or
more men.

If this offends you, then please do not read any further. If you are under
the legal age to read sexually explicit material then do not read any
further.  This story in no way represents any person living or dead.  Any
resemblance to any real person is purely coincidental. This story is the
property of the author and no copying or posting to any other website is
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To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and
whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like
administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by
scripture. Thomas Paine

Devyn's Struggle V2
Chapter 35

Devyn kept his hurt pushed down. He did not want to affect the fun Travis
was having and he did not want Ethan to know how much Charlie's rejection
had hurt. Maybe Devyn would have been able to not hurt so much, if it had
not been for Brent. If Brent had not rejected him in a similar way as
Charlie, maybe he would have been more equipped to handle it.

Devyn replayed the conversation as he was driving to the ice cream
stand. He knew Charlie was going to have a hard time accepting being
gay. He understood that all too well. He also had guessed that Charlie
would not want to be out. Devyn had already come to terms that they would
most likely need to keep their relationship secret. He was actually alright
with that. He knew, all too well, the catastrophic events that could happen
if you came out. Of course, Charlie would have it easier than Devyn,
Charlie would have Devyn's and Joe's support. Charlie would not be all
alone the way Devyn was. Charlie would have a place to go if his parents
kicked him out.

"That was a short visit for someone you haven't seen all summer." Ethan
could tell that there was something wrong. The teenager was putting up a
good front for Travis but Ethan had seen the guy hiding the pain.

"He was working," Devyn said and did not elaborate.

Devyn parked the truck and they walked across the park to the ice cream
stand. The stand was only open in the summer, but it was some of the best
ice cream Devyn had ever had. Joe had told him it was all homemade. "None
of that artificial shit," he had said. They each got ice cream cones and
moved to a table to sit and eat the cold treat. There were other people
around also sitting and eating ice cream. During the summer you could
almost always find someone at the stand. There was a soft breeze as they
sat there in the shade eating. The birds were softly singing overhead. They
could also hear kids playing in the park.

Ethan studied Devyn. He wanted to say the right thing to help the
teenager. The kid was being quiet. He watched as Devyn's tongue flicked
over the ice cream cone. Ethan had a momentary thought of that tongue
flicking over something that was not ice cream. The kid was damn
sexy. "Everything alright?" Ethan asked, concerned about the teenager. "You
have been quiet."

"Yeah," Devyn said. "I'm just tired."

"You know you can talk to me." Ethan wanted Devyn to trust him. He wanted
to be like a big brother to the teenager. He did not know all of Devyn's
history but he knew the boy had not had an easy couple of years.

"I was up early," Devyn said. "I am just tired." Devyn did not want to talk
about Charlie. He needed time to process it. He looked over at Travis who
was quickly trying to eat his melting cone.

"Sure," Ethan said but knew there was more to it than just being tired.

"Well, well, well," Devyn heard from behind him. He knew the voice too
well.

"Shit," Devyn muttered.
 On top of everything else, Devyn did not want to deal with him.

"Look what we got here," Dewayne said.

"Look," Devyn started.

Dewayne talked over Devyn ignoring what he had been about to say. "It is so
cute. You and your little fairies. You turning this one into a fairy too?"
Dewayne indicated Travis who was still intent on his ice cream cone.

"Knock it off," Devyn said. "I am not in the mood for your shit." After
dealing with how cold Charlie had been Devyn really was not in the mood to
take crap off Dewayne.

"What? You ignoring me?" Dewayne said looking at Travis.

Travis had his back to Dwayne so he did not pay any attention to
him. Travis was concentrating on licking up the melting ice cream. "Leave
him alone," Devyn said. "He is not bothering you."

"No," Dewayne said. "And how do you know what bothers me? In fact, he does
bother me. In fact, you bother me. Your whole kind bothers me."

"We are just eating ice cream," Devyn said. "Just go on your way."

Dewayne stepped closer to Travis. Devyn jumped up from the table putting
himself between the bully and Travis. "Just go away."

"So, which one is your boyfriend?" Dewayne asked. "Isn't this one a little
young for you? Or is that what all you fags are into, little boys." DeWayne
moved again stepping closer to Travis. Devyn would have ignored all of
Dewayne's taunts. He could have handled the name calling but threatening
Travis pushed buttons that Devyn did not even know he had.

Devyn moved and again put himself between Dewayne and Travis. He stepped
closer to the bigger boy. He was not going to give Dewayne a chance to pick
on Travis. "I want you to leave. I want you to just back away and leave us
alone." Devyn saw Ethan standing up. Out of the corner of his eyes he could
see Ethan moving around the table.

"Oh, you do," Dewayne said. "You want me to leave. Well you might be a
queen but you are not my queen. I owe you. I owe you for breaking my
fucking nose. So, I am going to break your fucking nose."

That was all the warning Devyn had. Joe and Lee's training took over. He
moved just in time for the blow to miss his nose; it glanced across his
cheek instead. He turned and slammed his fist into DeWayne's stomach. He
then slammed it into DeWayne's face as he bent forward. Dewayne backed up
straightening. "Mother-fucking faggot," he muttered as he was clenching his
hand into a fist. The tendons along his forearm were standing out. His jaw
was set. He pulled back to slam a blow into Devyn. Devyn was faster. Using
his leg, he swept DeWayne's out and the other boy landed on the
ground. "Next time just leave," Devyn said. Before Dewayne could get up
Devyn turned to Travis. "Come on," Devyn said to Ethan.

Travis had watched the brief altercation with wide eyes. He was scared but
when Devyn held out his hand, Travis did not hesitate to take it.

"Fuck," Ethan said when they got into the truck. "Remind me to never piss
you off."

"I am sorry," Devyn said. He rested his forearms on the steering wheel and
leaned his head against them. "I am sorry."

"Sorry for what," Ethan said. "That guy is a fucking bully. He was not
going to back down until you stood up to him."

"My life just keeps getting screwed up," Devyn muttered.

"You want me to drive?" Ethan asked.  "You seem a little, um, shook up."

"That is a good idea," Devyn said. The two switched places and Ethan drove
them back to the farm. "Park it by the calf barn," Devyn instructed. "I
need to unload the milk."

Ethan helped Devyn unload the bags of milk. Travis was playing with one of
the calves letting the calf suck on his finger. After they had unloaded the
last bag, Ethan pulled Devyn into a hug. "You are my hero."

"Fuck," Devyn said. "Knock it off."

"You handled that well," Ethan said, releasing Devyn. "I would have
probably lost my temper way before you did. I was about to jump between the
two of you but didn't want to seem like the big brother type and then you
took him down."

"I cannot believe I ever hung out with that guy," Devyn said. "He is such a
prick."

"Why did you hang out with him?" Ethan's curiosity got the better of
him. He was curious about a couple things from today and this seemed like a
good time to maybe find out about them.

"Because I'm stupid," Devyn said. "Just plain stupidity."

"Trying to fit in?" Ethan said with a question.

"Yeah," Devyn said. "I guess I was punishing myself for being who I am. For
doing all the things I did before. I wish I could do so many things
differently."

"We all make mistakes," Ethan said. "I do have a question though."

"Shoot," Devyn said.

"What that other guy said at the feed place, is it true?" Ethan was looking
into Devyn's eyes as he waited for the teenager to speak.

"Which part?" Devyn asked not sure what Ethan was asking about.

"That you and some girl, um, had sex," Ethan clarified.

"Oh, Yeah," Devyn answered. "I had to get a bit of a buzz going and um
think about other stuff but Mindy and I did have sex. Of course, Mindy
would have sex at the drop of a hat. I think I had gone where everyone had
gone before."

"Ick," Ethan said. "You know I have never, um done it."

"You're a virgin!" Devyn said surprised.

"Never been with a girl," Ethan said. "Only guys."

"I have actually been with a couple," Devyn said. "When I was with Mindy,
it was usually a group thing. I don't mean like an orgy," Devyn said seeing
the stunned look on Ethan's face. "It was just a barn where we would break
up into couples and fuck. One of the inspirations I used was Dewayne
actually. Gawd, I bet he would really freak if he ever knew that. I was
fucking Mindy, while watching his ass doing some other girl."

"Wow!" Ethan said. "Although I do see his sex appeal. He is attractive and
in good shape. Plus, that ass. The boy has one fucking hot bubble butt."

"Yes, he does," Devyn said, smirking. "But on the inside the guy is just
ugly."

They heard the tractor coming towards the barn. "Sounds like Joe is on his
way in," Devyn said. "I guess he finished up early."

Ethan and Devyn watched as Joe drove the tractor into the other shed and
shut it down. As he was climbing down Devyn thought Joe looked
exhausted. His sweat soaked clothes clung to his body. Joe peeled off his
shirt and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Damn man he is hot," Ethan said watching the man's-tired muscles[1] flex
as he climbed down out of the tractor. As Joe stripped off his shirt,
Ethan's tongue was flicking across his lips as he watched Joe. "He is so
damn sexy."

"Yeah," Devyn said. He had to agree the man should be on a magazine
cover. Maybe Stud Farmers of the Midwest or Farm Stud of America. "Um,
don't say anything about what happened in town," Devyn asked. "He is tired
and it is over."

"Sure," Ethan said. "You don't think he will find out? Doesn't everyone in
this town talk?"

"Yes," Devyn said. "I will tell him about it later. He is tired right now
and doesn't need to deal with that shit."

To Joe, Ethan called, "Hey studly. I was just about to head out and bring
you that drink and something else." Ethan waggled his eyebrows
suggestively.

Travis saw Joe then and ran to him. He started to sign to Joe. "Shit,"
Devyn said. "I didn't think he would run and tell him."

"No secrets," Ethan said.

Joe watched Travis and then turned to Devyn. His eyes met the younger
man's. Devyn tilted his head not wanting to confirm or deny what Travis had
told Joe. "Travis says you beat up someone?"

"Not exactly," Devyn said and let out a sigh. "I guess I need to talk to
Travis about not telling everything."

"You weren't going to tell me?" Joe asked.

"I wasn't right now," Devyn said. "It was really nothing. Dewayne was
hassling me and wouldn't let up. He spouted some of the same stuff as
before."

"You should be proud of Devyn," Ethan interjected. "He really held his
temper in check."

"You cannot lose your cool just because someone calls you names," Joe
said. "They are just trying to provoke a response."

"Joe really, he kept his cool," Ethan said. "The guy was not going to give
up and let us walk away. He was looking for a fight."

"I am too tired for this," Joe said. And he looked it.

"That is why I wasn't going to tell you," Devyn said. "I can take him
calling me names. It ticks me off but I can handle that. It is when it
turns to the people I love that my temper hit the boiling point. Then, when
he stepped closer to Travis and I thought he might drag him into it...well
I lost it."

"So, Devyn knocked him on his ass," Ethan said.

"Did he do this," Joe asked and ran a tender finger across Devyn's bruised
and slightly swollen cheek just under his left eye."

"Yes," Devyn said. "He threw the first punch."

"Then you did the right thing," Joe said. "Never start the fight. Always be
willing to walk away but if there is no other option..."

"Kick their ass," Ethan interjected.

"You finish it," Joe said.

"Horsey," Travis signed.

"Now?" Joe asked.

"Yes," he replied.

Joe knelt and with a little help Travis was soon on Joe's shoulders.  The
kid looked so happy up there."

"Isn't he a little big for that?" Ethan asked looking at the boy on Joe's
shoulders.

Joe knew the boy was getting too old for this. They would only be able to
play around like this for a little while longer. "He is getting a bit heavy
for this."

"Well, it is very damn sexy," Ethan said. "Your chest and biceps are all
flexed and they are glistening with sweat." Ethan ran his hand over Joe's
chest and then squeezed Joe's bicep before tweaking the man's nipple.

"Hey," Joe said.

"OK later," Ethan said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

They went into the house. "You rest," Ethan said. "Maybe even take a
shower. I'll fix a cold drink and some food."

"Thanks," Joe said.

"I'll go out and do the chores," Devyn said. "You just stay here and relax
with Ethan. I can even take Travis with me."

"Thanks" Joe said.

"I'll hit the shower in a minute," Joe said to Ethan. "I just need to rest
for a minute."

"You do that big guy," Ethan said. "I'll fix something to eat.

# # #

Devyn started the chores by feeding the calves. He fixed up the milk and
gave a bottle to Travis to feed the smallest. Devyn mixed up the large
containers that had plastic tubing that ran to nipples attached to the
fence. He did not like mixing up the milk. The powder ended up going
everywhere no matter how careful he was. He had just finished with the last
batch when he saw the car pulling into the driveway. He walked to meet the
man stepping out of the car.

"Hey Devyn," Lee called.

"Hi Lee," Devyn said. "What brings you out?" Devyn could not stop from
noticing how sexy Lee was in his cop uniform. His eyes flicked down to look
at the man's basket and then back up to Lee's face. Devyn could see the
dense five o'clock shadow along Lee's cheeks and strong jaw.

"I need to talk to you," Lee said. "We got a report that you attacked
Dewayne Hobbs."

"Shit," Devyn said. "He really filed a report?"

"He didn't," Lee said. "But someone did. The report claims you attacked him
and beat him up pretty badly. It also says this is not the first time you
have assaulted him."

Devyn shook his head. He could not believe this. Who the hell was making
the false reports? If it was not Dewayne then who was it? "I'm going to be
straight with you." I ran into Dewayne at the ice cream shop. He spouted
off a bunch of bullshit that I ignored. It wasn't until I thought he was
sort of threatening Travis that I punched him but that was only after he
hit me." Devyn pointed to the bruise on his cheek. "I hit him once in the
gut and once in the face. I swept his legs from under him and he hit the
ground. That was it. At most I gave him a couple more bruises than he did
me."

"I guess those lessons came in handy. What about the other incident?" Lee
asked.

"That was at a friend's house. Dewayne showed up drunk," Devyn
explained. "Terry was with him. I was just trying to get them to leave. He
wanted me to go party with them. I didn't want to. He called me a few names
and then he called Joe a couple names and I lost it. I hit him and I might
have broken his nose."

"Can anyone corroborate these two stories?" Lee asked.

"You can check with Charlie Atwood, Sam Kirkwood, Julie Cassidy and Stacey
Benning," Devyn said. "It was Julie's party and they were all there. As far
as this afternoon, there were several people around but I don't remember
who. Ethan and Travis were there. I'm not sure what Travis understood of
the whole thing. He can definitely say that Dewayne hit me and I hit him
back. Ethan was also there so he can tell you the whole thing."

"Is that his car?" Lee asked, indicating Ethan's car.

"Yeah," Devyn said. "He is in the house with Joe. I came out to do the
chores. Joe was dang tired and needs to rest."

Lee made a few more notes in his notepad and then flipped it shut. "I would
suggest you stay away from DeWayne. He is bad news no matter how you look
at it."

"Everyone keeps telling me to stay away from him." Devyn's voice was laced
with his annoyance. He was tired of people telling him to stay away from
Dewayne. He did not go looking for the guy. The guy was the one that was
harassing him. "I don't go looking for him. Both times I was with my
friends minding my own business. He starts it. I just finish it."

Lee laughed. "Sounds like something Joe would say. Try and avoid him. It
will be easier on you."

"Will do," Devyn said. "But you should tell him that. As I said, he comes
looking for me."

"I already told him that when I got his statement," Lee said. "Um, one more
thing."

"Yeah?" Devyn asked.

"There is a rumor about you floating around town." Lee looked around at the
barn and the sun that was sinking down behind the barn. He was a bit
hesitant to tell Devyn about the rumor. "Rumor is that you are, um, gay."

"So?" Devyn said and shrugged. "You already know I am. I cannot control
what rumors people talk about."

"I just did not know you were out," Lee said. "You know I will support you
no matter what."

"Thanks." Devyn felt a warm tingle in his belly at Lee's words. "I kind of
came out when I punched Dewayne at Julie's Party. I said something stupid
like this faggot will kick your ass...or something like that I was pissed
and wasn't thinking."

Stepping closer Lee gripped Devyn's shoulder. "I will always try and have
your back but there are a few folks that will always have a problem with
it."

Devyn felt a funny surge in his guts. It was nice to have a friend like
Lee. The guy did always seem to be on Joe's side and it looked like now
that included Devyn. "Thanks. I will try and avoid those folks. I just
don't want to hide. I just want to be me."

"I think you will have it easier than Joe did. I think times have changed a
bit. You know I never really did understand this whole coming out thing,"
Lee admitted. "I mean as far as having to tell everyone. Straight guys
don't go around saying hey I'm straight."

"I think it has to do with accepting yourself," Devyn said. "It can be
rough coming to terms with it. Joe is a great example in that department."

"Joe is one stand up guy." Lee knew just how honorable Joe was. He also
knew that Joe did not have quite as easy a time of coming to terms with
being gay as Devyn thought. Lee was not going to say anything though. It
was up to Joe to share that with Devyn.

"Um, thanks for believing me," Devyn said. "I mean about the whole fight."

"I figured you would be straight with me," Lee said. "Hmm, guess that isn't
the right term. Should I say, you are gay with me?"

"I, um, don't think that means the same thing." Devyn could not stop the
grin at the idea of being gay with Lee. He knew from their sparring session
how hard Lee's body was. He knew how sexy the man was and Devyn's
imagination was starting to have to many erotic thoughts about the man.

"Probably not," Lee said. "Well, I had better get going. Tell Joe I said hi
and I'll be available next week to help him if he needs it."

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Devyn asked.

"I have the day off," Lee said. "Are you asking me out?"

"No," Devyn said laughing "Joe bailed hay today and we need to move them in
off the field. I thought maybe you could help me do so he can relax."

"I can do that," Lee said. "I'll be out around two."

"Thanks," Devyn said and shook Lee's hand. As their hands touched, Devyn
felt that tingle in his gut again. Being accepted and trusted by someone
like Lee was replacing some of the hurt that had been growing inside. For a
macho straight guy like Lee to be so accepting, told Devyn that there was a
future where he would be accepted for just being himself.

Devyn watched the man walk back towards his car. Devyn had never noticed
before how nice of a butt Lee had. He also had broad shoulders and a narrow
waist. Devyn had also noticed that Lee filled out the front of his uniform
just as well as the back. Devyn watched Lee drive away and then he and
Travis set out to finish up the rest of the chores. It took them longer
than it probably would have Joe but they got them all done. They were
resting in the barn sitting on a couple bales of hay. Travis had just
finished filling the water trough.

"Ask you something?" Travis asked Devyn.

"Anything," Devyn answered.

"Uncle Joe and Ethan are boyfriends, right?" he said.

"Yes," Devyn answered.

"Are we boyfriends?" Travis asked.

"What?" Devyn asked. "Why do you think that?"

"Uncle Joe and Ethan hug, kiss and wrestle and so do we." Travis said.

"By wrestling you mean at the pond last week?" Devyn asked.

"No," Travis answered. "After that in Uncle Joe's room."

Devyn could only imagine what Travis had seen. "Um, well that was a
different kind of wrestling. But we are not boyfriends. I think we are more
like brothers. Is it OK if we are brothers?"

"Yes," Travis said. "Is that better?"

"For us it is," Devyn said. "I get to have the coolest little brother in
the world." Reaching out Devyn mussed up Travis' hair. "Remember from now
on to knock before going into Joe's room. Especially when Ethan is
here. They need their alone time."

"Alright," Travis said. "Why was that guy today fighting with you?"

"He's a jerk and a bully," Devyn said.

"It was a little scary," Travis said.

"I'm sorry about that," Devyn said and got down closer to Travis. "I wasn't
going to let him hurt you."

"I know," Travis said. "I was scared he would hurt you."

Devyn swallowed. He could see the love in Travis's eyes. "You don't need to
be scared for me. I can handle a bully like him." Devyn hesitated and then
continued. "If you see him out by yourself, just get away from him. You
find me or Joe. Alright?"

"Sure," Travis said. He then moved in and kissed Devyn. "You're a great
brother."

Devyn felt his eyes burn. He bit his lip as he was signing. "You're the
best little brother in the world."

Devyn might have been rejected by Charlie but he had Travis and Joe. He
also guessed in some ways he had Lee[2] too. He had gone from being an only
child to a homeless teenage prostitute. Now he had a home and two guys that
were like big brothers and a little brother. It was more than he thought he
would ever have. "This should be enough," he told himself as he was closing
up the barn and turning off the lights. "I don't really need Charlie. It
just would have been nice but I have this."

Travis ran along in front of Devyn as they were walking to the house. Devyn
hurried to catch up so he could make a lot of noise as they were
entering. "Honey we're home!"

"I'm in here," Ethan said.

"Where is Joe?" Devyn asked as he entered the living room.

"Bed," Ethan said. "He was falling asleep so I sent him to bed.

"He was pretty tired," Devyn said.

"I left food for you two in the kitchen," Ethan said.

"Thanks," Devyn said. "I'll take care of Travis and then get something."

"Does he always work himself like this?" Ethan asked as he sat with Devyn
and Travis eating their dinner.

"He does," Devyn said. "He works too hard but he also loves what he does."

Ethan watched as Devyn helped Travis get ready for bed and then tucked him
in. "It is really awesome how good you are with him."

They had returned to the kitchen after getting Travis settled in for the
night. Devyn was cleaning up the last of the dishes and then sat at the
table with Ethan. "He is a great kid," Devyn said.

"You know most teenagers would not do all of that," Ethan said. "I mean
learn sign language, take care of him and protect him."

"He is like the little brother I never had," Devyn said. "Plus, he is part
of my family now. I love him."

"And you love Joe," Ethan said.

Devyn looked up and met Ethan's blue gray eyes. He did not look away. "Yes,
I love Joe."

"So, do I," Ethan said.

"That is great," Devyn said. "There is no competition."

Ethan sighed. "I guess not. I am just feeling a little neglected. I came
all the way over and only got to spend a few minutes with him."

"So, go be with him," Devyn said. "He may be asleep but be with him. That
is what he needs and I think it is what you need too."

"Thanks," Ethan said, getting up and heading into the other room and Joe's
bedroom.

Devyn felt the pain of Charlie's rejection as he watched Ethan heading to
Joe's room. He knew Ethan was a good guy and he was good for Joe. Devyn
hoped Ethan knew how lucky he was. "Why couldn't it have been me?" Devyn
wondered as he heard Joe's door closing behind Ethan.

Copyright 2020 by Keith yates (keith.96@att.net) all rights reserved.

Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to
it. Thomas Paine

He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from
oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that
will reach to himself. Thomas Paine