Date: Wed, 15 Apr 2020 21:04:33 -0500
From: Keith Yates <keith.96@att.net>
Subject: Devyn's Struggle V2 09

This is a fictional story involving sexual acts between two or more men.
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You can also check out these other stories:

Brent's Struggle
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/highschool/brents-struggle/
Jake's tale
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/jakes-tale/

Devyn's struggle V2
Chapter 09

Devyn looked around at the shade covered lawn.  He glanced up at the large
porch that wrapped around the front of the house.  The green roof seemed to
blend in with the trees and it seemed to be part of the foliage.  Devyn's
gaze followed the curve of the driveway down to the stream that ran under
the bridge.  It felt like it was from another time. He could only hear the
birds chirping in the trees.  There were no traffic noises at all.

"Are you feeling any better?" Joe asked a little concerned.

"yeah," Devyn said stretching after having gotten out of the truck. "The
fresh air is helping."

"Yu still look a little pale," Joe said. "I hope you didn't pick up a bug
in there."

"I'm fine," Devyn said although he did not feel great. He wondered if maybe
it had been something he ate for breakfast. "It is really quiet here."

"Probably different than what you are use too being around."  Joe said.

"It is very different," Devyn said looking around. He could hear the breeze
rustling the leaves and birds chirping in the trees. He saw butterflies
flittering from flower to flower. "You have a lot of flowers."

"My mother loved her flowers," Joe said. She had probably twice as many. I
had to do a lot of work cleaning up the flower beds when I moved back
home. My dad thought they were a waste of time."

"It makes the place look nice," Devyn said. "I think my grandma would like
them."

"You can invite her anytime," Joe said.

"Really?" Devyn said surprised.

"Of course," joe said reaching over and squeezing the teenager's
shoulder. "It is your place and Roberta seem like a fine lady. She can come
out for a visit anytime. She can spend a few days or weeks. Heck she will
want to make sure I'm taking good care of you."

"Thanks Joe," Devyn said.

"Now let's get this stuff inside," Joe said as he was picking up the
grocery bags. "This frozen stuff is going to be thawing out."

Devyn grabbed a couple bags and followed Joe up the sidewalk and the porch
steps.  Joe did not head for the door in the front of the house.  He moved
around to the side and went in through that door.  Devyn followed him.
They entered a small room that held the washer and dryer.  Devyn followed
Joe through the door that was opposite the one he had just came through and
they were in the kitchen.  The kitchen table was in the center of the room
with the fridge, stove and cabinets on one wall, and a counter and sink on
the other.  There was a separate stove that Devyn assumed correctly heated
the room.

"Just put them down on the table," Joe instructed as he headed back out for
the rest.  Devyn did as he was told and then hurried back out to help Joe.
In no time they had the stuff carried into the house.

"I have never seen appliances this color," Devyn said.

Joe chuckled.  "It is called harvest gold.  It was very popular...well a
long time ago when my folks bought them.  They are older than I
am. Everything here is old. Time doesn't move at the same rate in small
towns."

"Really," Devyn said surprised.

"The old stuff just seems to last longer than products they make today,"
Joe said. "I tend to only replace something when it breaks, and I am unable
to fix it."

"Amazing," Devyn said.

"As soon as I get this cold stuff put away," Joe said pushing food into the
freezer of the refrigerator, "I'll show you around."

Devyn moved to the window over the sink and looked out at the back yard.
The yard was mostly taken up by a garden and then there was a fenced off
section past that where there were a couple of cows grazing.  He had never
actually seen cows before, so it was interesting to watch them munch and
chew the grass.

"You grew-up in this house?" Devyn asked Joe.

"Yes, I did.  It was a cool place to grow up."

Devyn followed Joe into a paneled living room.  The room was large with a
sofa, love seat and recliner.  There was a television on a stand at one in.
The TV looked to be the newest item in the room.  The floor was wood, and
it was polished and shined in the light coming in the large south facing
window.  The stained glass in the large window made an interesting rainbow
pattern on the polished floor. The front door came into the room to the
left of the large window.  My bedroom is over here," Joe said indicating a
door.  He led Devyn further into the house and they stepped into another
room.  "This is my office."  The desk, computer and phone were set up like
any in home office.  There was also an old cabinet stereo and a shelf of
vinyl albums.  There was another door that led out to the other end of the
porch.  Joe led Devyn through another door, and they were in the dining
room.  The room was taken up by a large oak table. It had 8 chairs round it
and it too was polished until is shined. There was a china cabinet on one
wall that held what Devyn assumed was Joe's family china. There was also a
buffet on the wall next to the door that lead back into the kitchen.

"Your bedroom is upstairs," Joe said leading the way to a door that Devyn
had not noticed before.  It was on the other side of the refrigerator.  The
stairs were narrow and creaked as they climbed them.  "I am sorry I didn't
have time to clean up here before I left.  It is dusty and well, needs
aired out."

The stairs led to an open room with a small table, shelves on one wall with
old games, some toy tractors and books. There were three bedrooms that
opened off the room.

"I thought you might like this bedroom," Joe said. "it has the best view."

"It's fine," Devyn said. It was smaller than the room he had at home, but
it had lots of windows.

"Sorry that I didn't clean it up," Joe said. "I should have aired it out at
least."

"It won't take long to clean it up," Devyn said.

"If you want one of the other rooms, that is fine," Joe said. "I just
thought this one might suit you."

"Really Joe," Devyn said, "it is fine. It was a lot smaller than his old
room, but Devyn knew he would not have as much stuff as he had before.

"I'll help you clean it up," Joe said.  He ran a hand across the ancient
dresser and then brushed the dust off on his pants.  "I should have cleaned
up hear a little more often."

"Not a big deal," Devyn said moving to look out the window. Looking down
Devyn could see the roof of the front porch. He could see the road, the
creak and the bridge.  He could also see the barn, a few more cattle and a
grain bin. He had to admit that Joe was right about the view. He could see
the rolling hills of the pasture and the brilliant green of the groves of
trees that grew on the other side of the creek.

"It does have a great view," Devyn said. "You have a nice place.

Then Devyn heard something on the porch under them.  It sounded like an
animal scrambling across the wooden floor.  He heard it hit the screen door
they had come through and then heard it in the kitchen.  Then there was a
loud bark.

"Up here goof ball," Joe said.

"You have a dog?" Devyn asked.  There was thunderous noise on the stairs
and the nails scrabbling on the hardwood floor as the dog bounded up the
stairs. The dog ran past the door his feet scrabbling as he tried to
stop. He was fish tailing as he turned is front trying to go a different
direction than his back. He jumped thru the door and towards Joe. He was
panting as he was launching himself at Joe. The yellow dog was wagging his
tail and pushing his head against Joe in his excitement.

"This is Barkley," Joe said.

"Cool," Devyn said.

"Barkley, sit!"  The dog obeyed sitting down and looking up at Joe.  "Good
boy," he said scratching the dogs head.  Joe moved and Barkley moved around
so that he was now facing Joe and Devyn.  He dropped back into a seated
position with his pink tongue sticking out.  "This is Devyn," Joe said to
Barkley.  "Devyn this is Barkley," Joe said.  Leaning down, Devyn held out
his hand with his palm up for the dog to sniff. "Barkley, shake," Joe said.
Barkley lifted his paw and pushed it into Devyn's hand.  "Good boy."

"Awesome," Devyn said.

"Okay, get to know him," Joe said.

Barkley leaped up pushing Devyn back and sniffing him all over.  Devyn
landed on his butt and was licked and sniffed.  "I hope you like dogs," Joe
said smiling as Devyn laughed.  It was the first time Joe could remember
seeing the kid laugh.  "Good job Barkley," Joe thought.

"Yes, I do," Devyn said between tongue baths.  "I found a stray...well
shortly after my folks kicked me out.  We sheltered together under a tree.
He kept me warm.  I still miss him.

Devyn got to his feet and was soon greeted with a nose in his crotch.  The
dog pushed at his basket and then went between Devyn's legs.  His tell
slapping against Devyn's legs as the dog came out behind Devyn.

"He's just getting to know you," Joe said at the surprised look on Devyn's
face.  "He sniffed your crotch, so he must like you."

"Great," Devyn said. "but that is quite the shock and a little um painful."

"Well," Joe began.  "I am a little taller, so he doesn't actually hit the
equipment too hard when he does that to me.  He'll get use to you."

"I hope so," Devyn said and scratched Barkley's ears.

The two spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up the upstairs.  Devyn
discovered that of the three bedrooms, the one Joe had given him, was not
the biggest but it did have the best view.

"Was this your room?" Devyn asked as they were cleaning up the room.

"yes," Joe said. "Hannah had the bigger room. Girls need more space for all
their stuff. Heck she use to have overflow in the spare room."

"The two of you are close," Devyn said.

"We are," Joe said. "She was always trying to look out for her little
brother."

"I thought you were older," Devyn said confused. "Didn't I hear her call
you big brother?"  Laughing Joe said, "That is right. She is older but I'm
bigger. It is an inside joke. For a long time, I was known as Hannah's
little brother. I didn't hit my growth spurt until I was older so I was a
little small for my age. It used to bug me, so she started calling me her
big brother. There was a time when I was more sensitive about stuff and
Hannah knew that. Like I said she was always trying to protect me."

Devyn could not imagine anyone referring to Joe as small. The guy was over
six feet and was built like a brick wall. His shoulders were broad, his
arms were made up of cords of muscle and his chest filled the shirt out
with its muscle. "I guess she was trying to do that with me too," Devyn
said.

"I think she wanted to help you," Joe said. He studied the young man as he
worked. The boy was far too skinny but even now Joe could see the spirit
that Hannah saw.

"I don't get how she got you to do this," Devyn said his eyes looking into
Joe's blue ones.

Joe swallowed before he said anything. "I got approved to be a Foster
Parent a couple of years ago," Joe said. His voice was somber as he
spoke. "Ben, that is Hannah's husband, had a kid that he was trying to
help. The boy had a drug problem and got mixed up with a gang. He got
removed from his abusive parents and needed a place to go. It took too long
to get the paperwork done for me to be a foster parent. Ben and Hannah were
not able to save him."

Devyn looked shocked. "you mean he, he..."

"it was an armed robbery," Joe said. "We think he did it to get shot."

"Shit," Devyn said.

"Although all of the paperwork was approved, after that," Joe said, "I
didn't move forward with taking in a kid."

"Why me?" Devyn asked.

"Why not you," Joe countered.

"Because I'm a mess," Devyn said.

"I'm good at cleaning up messes," Joe teased. "Look, regardless of your
past, this is a new start. Just go with it and do your best."

"So, this other kid," Devyn said, "was he also gay?"

"yes," Joe said.

"So, do you have a thing for gay kids?" Devyn asked bluntly.

"I just want to help them," Joe said. "Life is rough. It is even rougher
when you feel like you don't belong because you are gay."

They worked in silence for a while.  Devyn thought about how his life had
changed again. "is this my third major life change in less than a year?" he
wondered silently.


After finishing up the cleaning, Devyn found Joe's place more comfortable
than he would have imagined.  All the furniture seemed to be older than
dirt.  Joe obviously did not believe in buying new until the old stuff was
beyond repair and it seemed that his old furniture was so well made that it
would last forever.

Joe left Devyn alone for a couple of hours and went out to do some chores.
He had livestock to feed and water.  Joe had asked Devyn to go with him,
but Devyn was starting to feel sick to his stomach.  He was clammy and was
breaking out into a cold sweat.  He stayed behind and told Joe he would go
next time.  He laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball.  He felt
like he was dying.

Joe was pumping water into the trough for the cattle.  He had just put out
a new bale of hay and the cows were munching on it and were coming over to
drink.  He heard Barkley barking from the porch.  He turned to look at the
dog.  He ran down to where Joe was, and the dog whimpered.  "Well, that is
your 'I need to go out now' whimper," Joe said looking at his Canine
friend.  "But you are already outside goofball."  Barkley ran back to the
house and stood on the porch and whimpered.  "I think Timmy is in the
well," Joe thought.  He turned off the hydrant and hurried back to the
porch.  Joe followed Barkley into the house and to the bathroom door.  He
saw Devyn laying on the floor in a puddle of vile looking vomit.  "Devyn,"
Joe said startled.  Joe hurried to his charge and saw the boy shaking and
sweating.  He lifted the slender boy up from the puke and carried him back
to the kitchen.

"I want to die," Devyn said.

"No, you don't," Joe said.  He grabbed a rag and wetted it under the faucet
in the sink.  He went back to the kitchen chair where he had sat Devyn and
wiped his face with the cool cloth.

Devyn was shaking and trembling.  His body was breaking out in a cold
sweat.  "I, I, am going too..."  Devyn did not get to finish the words.  He
turned his head and poured forth more vile looking fluid.  If Joe had not
had a strong-arm holding Devyn, the teen would have fallen from the chair
and landed in the puddle on the floor.  "I need the pills," Devyn managed
to say after his stomach had heaved up all it could.

"What pills?"  Joe asked.  He was growing more and more concerned about the
boy.

"Tom gave them to me.  They were to help me relax," Devyn said.  "I would
sometimes get shaky after not taking them.  I guess I went to long."  "wo
you weren't only selling drugs," Joe said. "you were taking them?"

"Just pills," Devyn managed to say. "I needed them to relax for, for, um,
work."

Joe used the cool cloth to clean Devyn's face after the boy had vomited on
the floor again. The stuff was so vile looking that Barkley was staying
away from it.

Joe considered taking Devyn to the doctor but knew anything that they might
do for Devyn would only prolong the withdrawal.

"I'm sorry about this," Devyn said.

"it's alright," Joe said.

Joe picked Devyn up and carried him to joe's bedroom. He decided to keep
the teenager downstairs. It would be easier. Joe knew that it would be at
least several days of hell Devyn and probably for himself as well.

Joe stripped off Devyn's shirt. It had some of the vile looking vomit on
it. Once he got Devyn settled on the bed, he went ack and started cleaning
up the mess. "I should have never said that I was good at cleaning up a
mess," Joe thought.

Joe did call a friend that was a nurse just to see if there was anything
else, he should be doing. "Try and keep him comfortable," she said. "keep
him hydrated and if it gets worse, bring him in."

Joe stayed by Devyn's bed.  He wiped the sweat from Devyn and cleaned the
puke from his face after the teen vomited.  He held him tight and rocked
him.  He listened as Devyn begged for Joe to give him the pill or let him
die.  Joe gave up on keeping Devyn in fresh clothes.  He just let the teen
wear the tight white briefs and Joe held the almost naked youth as he cried
and begged and cursed. Joe could not believe how frail the boy started to
look. The kid had been too skinny to start and was losing more weight. He
also marveled at all the bruises on the teenager. He had seen them briefly
in the hotel room, but they looked worse now.

The worse Devyn felt the more he started taking out some of his feelings on
Joe.  He hurled insult after insult.  Joe took it all.

"I hate you.  You are a fucking ass hole.  You son-of-a-bitch."  Devyn
pounded his fists against Joe's muscular chest.  His blows landing loud and
hard against the man. Devyn then curled up and drifted off to sleep with
Joe holding him and wiping the sweat from his face with a cool damp cloth.

The days seemed to drag as Joe took care of Devyn. He and Barkley spent
most of their time sitting nearby in case Devyn needed anything. Joe had
gone out only to do his chores and nothing else.  The rest of his time was
spent with Devyn.  It seemed to Joe that he no more got some fluid into the
teen than Devyn was throwing it up.  Joe kept sponging off the boy's body
with damp cloths and helping Devyn perform all the normal bodily functions.

Joe just came in from doing his morning chores.  He was dead tired.  He had
gotten very little sleep over the past few days and the dark circles under
his eyes told the story.  He started to fix some Oatmeal for breakfast.  He
popped the bowl into the microwave and then heard a noise from his bedroom.
He wondered if Devyn was waking up.  He stepped to the door and heard Devyn
call his name.  Devyn's voice was weak, horse, but the teen sounded more
normal than he had in the past several days.

"I am right here," Joe said.

"What happened to me?" Devyn asked. He still felt week and he could not
remember where he was. "I feel...well...I feel like shit. Did I have the
flu or something?"

"No, you didn't have the flu," Joe said moving to the bed to sit beside the
teenager. "Do you remember anything?"  "It is kind of like a dream," Devyn
said. "I can almost remember but not exactly."

Joe took a deep breath. "You were going thru some really bad
withdrawal. How long have you been using?"

"Um, a few months," Devyn said looking away from Joe. "I, I don't even know
what I was taking." Devyn could not look at the man. How could he look at
the man who knew all the bad stuff? How could Joe ever respect him? How
could Joe ever want him?

Joe tenderly brushed the hair back from Devyn's eyes. "Where did you get
them?" Joe asked softly.

"Tom," Devyn answered. "He gave them to me. I was so nervous the first
time, that he gave them to me to relax."

Joe could hear the fear and tears under the teenager's voice. He could only
guess at what the boy must be feeling. "I understand," Joe said.

"How can you," Devyn said. "I'm, I, I..." Devyn's voice trailed off.

"You made it thru the worst of it," Joe said. Joe's finger caressed the
teenager's forehead. "Tom gave them to get you to relax before working?"

"Yes," Devyn said and turned away ashamed.

"I'm not judging you Devyn," Joe said. "I will never do that based on your
past."

"It helped me relax and to be able to work," Devyn said. "Tom was taking
care of everything and only wanted me to do a few favors. He said it would
benefit both of us. I was so stupid."

 "Devyn," Joe said touching Devyn's bare shoulder.  "You aren't stupid. Tom
was manipulating you. I suspect he was using the pills to help control
you."

"It is all so bad," Devyn said his voice trembling.

"You can tell me anything," Joe said.  "I won't judge you.  It will not
affect how I feel about you at all."


"In the beginning," Devyn began. "I was only using them when I had a job to
do. I'm not sure when it happened but I was needing them to fill
normal. Tom would use them to get me to work more. That is also what he did
with Todd. I mean used him to make me work more. Do you know about Todd?"

"Hannah told me a little," Joe said. Joe knew that Todd was the mentally
challenged boy that Hannah discovered Devyn had been protecting from
Tom. Joe could not imagine the kind of acts Tom had manipulated Devyn into.

"If I didn't do what Tom wanted," Devyn continued, "he would withhold
them. If he really wanted to teach me a lesson, he would withhold them and
threaten Todd."

"I am very sorry Devyn," Joe said.  "I wish I had known... You scared the
shit out of me.  I was afraid you were dying."

"I am sorry Joe," Devyn said looking away from the man.  "I had no idea...I
didn't know it would be like that.  I don't even remember anything from it.
The last thing I remember was being upstairs with Barkley and then feeling
a bit sick to my stomach."

"Yeah," Joe said. "You didn't quite get to the toilet.  It was quite the
mess."

"Oh, sorry!"  Devyn's face burned a bet from his embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," Joe said. "I am just glad you are better."

"I don't feel better," Devyn said.  "I still feel like I need the drugs.  I
want to feel good again.  I need to feel..."

"No Devyn," Joe said firmly. He placed his hand on Devyn's bare arm. "I
know you might still crave the feeling they caused, but you do not need
them.  You cannot afford to start down that road again."

"But I feel so bad," Devyn said.

"It will get better," Joe said. "You are stronger than them."

"I guess," he said softly.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" Joe asked. He was still concerned that the boy
might be dehydrated.

"I am a little thirsty," Devyn said, "but not really hungry."

Joe brought Devyn the water and then helped the weak teen sit up. With Joe
holding the glass and his arm holding Devyn, the teen was able to take
several sips of the water.  "If I made some toast would you at least try to
eat it?" Joe asked. "You have not had anything for several days, and you
need to eat something."

"I, um don't know," Devyn said.

"You are just skin and bones," Joe said.  "You need to eat.  At least try."

"Um, Joe," Devyn began hesitantly.

"Yes Devyn?"

"Um, over the past few days," Devyn asked, "how did I...I mean did
you...was I able to go to the bathroom without help?"

"No, you weren't," Joe said.

Devyn felt his face burn red.  He wanted to die.  He had never felt so
ashamed before.  "You helped me?" Devyn asked.

"Yes," Joe answered.

"Um, thanks," Devyn said and could feel his neck and ears burning.

"No problem," Joe said.

"You are one of a kind Joe," Devyn said. Devyn looked up from the pillow to
meet Joe's eyes.

"Yeah, they broke the mold after me," Joe said.  "The world could only
handle one of me."

"The world could use a few hundred thousand of you," Devyn whispered as Joe
left the room.  He watched the man walk out.  His eyes slid over the strong
back, broad shoulders, and down to the fit waist and hard buns inside the
faded denim of the tight wranglers.  "That ass could sell jeans like no
other," Devyn thought.

It took several more days for Devyn to even begin to regain his strength.
He felt as weak as a newborn.  He would lay in bed and then move to the
living room and flip through the channels.  It did not take him long to
flip through them as Joe did not have anything but the most basic channels.

"I don't spend a lot of time inside," Joe had explained to Devyn. "I don't
need more."

Devyn was going to be glad when he felt stronger.  He wanted to get outside
in the warm sun and feel more like a person again.

Now that Devyn was feeling better, Joe did not spend as much time in the
house.  He would eat breakfast with Devyn and then go out and work all
morning.  He would pop back in for a quick lunch and then go back outside
and spend the afternoon hard at work.  He was trying to get caught up on
all the things that he had let go while Devyn was sick.  Finally, on a warm
Friday Devyn felt like he was going to go crazy if he didn't get out of the
house.  He pulled on one of the new pairs of jeans that Joe had bought him.
They were loose on him, so he knew he had lost more weight.  He wondered if
he could lose any more.  He stood in front of the mirror on the dresser and
studied his reflection.  He could count his ribs.  "Joe was right you are
nothing but skin and bones."  At least the bruises were almost gone. The
beating he had taken while in lock-up had been bad. He pulled on a shirt to
hide his wasted appearance from his own eyes.  He knew there was little
chance anyone would find him attractive now.  The person he wanted to find
him attractive was the one that was least interested.

Devyn had decided that Joe had no interest in guys.  He seemed to not have
much interest in the opposite sex either.  Devyn wondered if maybe Joe had
lost his one true love and had no desire to try for love again.

Devyn walked down the stairs and stopped in the kitchen to catch his
breath.  He couldn't believe how such little things made him weak for a
minute.  He wondered if he would ever feel strong again.  He walked out on
to the porch.  It was his first time outside since he got here.  It was a
beautiful day.  The sky was blue but scattered with some white puffy
clouds.  The birds were chirping and there was a light breeze.  He could
hear the water of the creek as it ran over the rocks. He stepped off the
porch and into the warm son light.  The sun felt good on his face and bare
forearms.  He had been inside for far too long.

Devyn walked toward the driveway.  Joe's truck was parked there, so he
assumed Joe was around somewhere he walked past the garage to the first
outbuilding. The door was open, and Devyn stuck his head inside. It was a
tool shed. It looked like where Joe kept all the lawn and garden tools. The
lawn mowers were also parked in there.

.  Devyn followed the driveway around to the barn.  He looked inside the
open door.  The place smelled like hay, which Devyn had not smelled before.
He looked around the dim interior.  He saw a large tractor, a contraption
he did not have a clue as to what it was, and no Joe.  He walked on to the
next barn.  There were three large barns in a row.  The first one seemed to
house all the machinery.  This second one seemed to have more machinery and
hay.  He found Joe in the third barn.  He was inside the fenced area with a
large bottle feeding a baby calf.  Devyn moved closer to watch.  The calf
seemed focused on nursing every drop of milk from the bottle.  In no time
the calf was sucking air and Joe quickly pulled the nipple from the
animal's mouth.  The calf balled in protest.  He butted against Joe's leg.

"You will get more later," Joe said pushing the animal back and quickly
scaling the fence and dropping to the ground beside Devyn.  "You must be
feeling better?"

"I am," Devyn said. "I just had to get outside for a while.  I hope you
don't mind."

"This is your home now," Joe said. "You can go anywhere you like...of
course don't mess with any of the machinery or leave gates open or mess
with the livestock."

"But I can go anywhere right?"  Devyn grinned.

"Yeah," Joe said smiling back.  "It isn't that I don't trust you," he said
explaining.  "It is just you are new to the farm and you probably don't
know all of the rules and on a farm, there are a lot of rules.  It is for
your own safety and that of the animals."

"I look forward to learning," Devyn said.

Joe smiled.  "Yeah, I bet you do.  It has been a long few days."

"It sure has," Devyn agreed.

Devyn followed Joe around while Joe did the remainder of his chores.  Devyn
was interested and fascinated in almost everything.  He was watching Joe
closely as the man was working. Joe was great at explaining everything as
he was working. Devyn listened closely.  He knew one of these days he would
be helping Joe with the chores.

Joe lifted a 50-pound bag of feed effortlessly.  Devyn wondered just how
much the man could bench press.  He could not help but be drawn to the hard
biceps and muscular shoulders as they flexed lifting the heavy bag.  Joe
poured the feed into a trough and the cattle came up and started picking it
up before he was even done pouring.  Devyn stayed on the other side of the
fence and watched.

"What do you do with the, um, cows?" Devyn asked as Joe climbed back over
the fence.

"These calves," Joe emphasized the word, "are going to be sold as feeders.
I have about 100 head of cows in the pasture and this lot are their
offspring.  I have more calves in the pasture to wean, but I want to get
these gone first."

"It sounds complicated," Devyn said.

"It isn't really," Joe said.  It will all sort itself out in your mind.
Just give it time.

"Sure," Devyn said skeptically.

The next day Joe took it easy and only did the chores that had to be done.
He was going to have to harvest wheat soon, but it was not quite ready yet.
He also was going to have to start mowing down his hay crop.  He was hoping
to teach Devyn a few things so the teen would be able to start pulling his
weight around the farm.  Today however, was going to be just a quiet
relaxing day.

"Do you think you feel up to going fishing?" Joe asked Devyn during
breakfast.

"Sure," Devyn said.

"Cool," Joe said.  "If you will do the dishes, I will go find the poles."

Devyn did the dishes.  He was still surprised that Joe did not have a
dishwasher.  It was amazing how many of the conveniences he had at home
were missing from Joe's place.

Joe drove them back to the pond.  He showed Devyn how to open the gate and
close it behind the truck.  It would save him time from not having to jump
out and back in.

The pond was quiet, and the breeze was cool.  There was a tree or two next
to the water, so they sat down and relax letting the fish nibble at the
bate on the hooks.

"You know," Devyn said softly, "the last time I was fishing it was with
Brent."

"Oh," Joe said. "Was it that trip to the cabin with your folks?"

"Yeah," Devyn said looking across the pond. He studied the trees and the
grass. One of the trees had a rope hanging from a branch. He was not sure
why it was there.

"That was the best trip," Devyn said. "I told you how we, um, you know."

Joe could see the teenager blush. He remembers exactly how the two boys had
discovered exactly what they were to each other on that trip. "I remember,"
Joe said.

"That was only the start for us," Devyn said. "It might have been better if
it had been the end."

"Those kinds of feelings can only be pushed down for so long," Joe said.

"I know you are right about that," Devyn said. "I did try. I tried
everything. Including..." Devyn's voice trailed off.

Joe waited for the boy to continue. Sitting there on the bank the teenager
looked more like a boy. His brown hair was being ruffled by the breeze. His
lean body made him look younger than he was. Although if you looked
directly into his warm chocolate eyes with those hypnotic golden specks you
could see a maturity there.  "Including what?" Joe finally prompted.

"Dating and, um, going all the way with a girl," Devyn said his face
turning red.

The blush made the boy look even younger to Joe. His heart had already gone
out to this kid and the more the boy told him the more he wanted to help
him. "Like I said before," Joe said. "It is natural to explore all of
that. It is best if you know and understand your feelings."

"I wanted so much for things to work with Sue," Devyn said. "She was a good
friend and fun."

Devyn thought back to just before Christmas. He and Brent had been trying
hard to ignore their feelings for each other. Devyn was ready to take the
next step to try and make himself feel more for Sue.

"I thought if I was alone with Sue, that I would feel more for her," Devyn
told Joe. "I thought I just need to have Brent out of the way, and I would
be able to change how I was feeling."

Devyn managed to find the time to be with Sue again before Christmas.  This
time when they were together Devyn reached his climax and filled the condom
he was wearing with his young seed.  Unfortunately, climaxing did not
remove the sexual feelings for other men.  In fact, it only made him
realize more that he wanted something that Sue could not give him.

"Having sex with Sue seemed to only make my feelings for Brent stronger,"
Devyn told Joe while they sat on the bank fishing. Devyn could remember how
strong his sexual desires for Brent were. Having sex with sue had only made
them more obvious to Devyn. He still wanted to do all the things they had
done together in the past and he wanted to do some of the new things he had
been learning about on the Internet.

"Since you have explored the physical relationship with a girl," Joe said
casting his line far out into the pond, "I think it has helped you
understand yourself better."

"I guess," Devyn said shrugging. "I knew that I did not feel for Sue the
same as I felt for Brent. I just wasn't sure what kind of relationship we
could have. At least not until we ran into Matt and Bryan."

It had been the week before Christmas when Brent and Devyn headed to the
mall to do some last-minute shopping.  They each needed to get a gift for
their respective girlfriends.  Neither of them knew exactly what they
should buy for Sue and Tracey, but they figured it probably had to be
special and have some sort of sentimental value.

They had just left the music store when Devyn heard someone call his name.
He turned and was looking at Matt's handsome face and smiling eyes.

"Hi um Matt," Devyn said as Matt strode up to them.

"I'm glad to see your doing okay.  I was a little worried when I left you
the other day."

"Oh, you didn't need to worry.  It was all just fine," Devyn said
reassuring the man.

"Glad to hear it."

Matt turned his gaze to Brent.  Matt knew just by looking at the other guy,
that he must be Devyn's friend Brent.  There was just no way he could be
anyone else and be giving off the vibes that Matt was feeling from the two
younger guys.

"You must be Brent," Matt said.  "Devyn has told me a lot about you."

"He has, Brent said looking over at Devyn."

"It was all good stuff, Devyn said.

"It was," Matt confirmed.  "By the way my name is Matt."

Matt held out his hand and took a firm grasp on the one Brent offered.

"Oh, Devyn has mentioned you too.  It is um, interesting to um, I mean, um.
It is nice to meet you.  Devyn has told me a few nice things about you.

"Oh, he has.  I would very much like to hear them," Matt said smiling at
Brent.

"Here you are," said a man moving up to join them.

The man grasped Matt's shoulder and ran a hand across Matt's broad back.
His eyes sparkled as he took in the two younger guys.

"Do I need to ask what you might be doing?" He said grinning mischief at
Matt.

"Keep your mind out of the gutter," Matt said, but his voice was lined with
laughter.

"This is Devyn and his Friend Brent.  Guys this is my partner Bryan."

"Oh, I have heard a great deal about you," Bryan said holding his hand out
to Devyn.

"Um, yeah, Matt mentioned you too."

Devyn took the proffered hand and felt the warm hand engulf his.  The
squeeze was firm and friendly, and Devyn returned it.

"All good I hope," Bryan said releasing the teens hand.

"Yeah, it sure was."

Bryan took Brent's hand and gripped it firmly.  He could tell the blonde
young man was nervous about something.

"Um, are your parents here?" Matt asked Devyn.

"No, Brent's Mom dropped us off.  She is going to come back and get us in a
few hours."

"Oh, so you two must be doing some last-minute Christmas shopping then?"
Bryan asked.

"Yeah, were trying to find gifts for our girlfriends," Brent said.

"Oh!" Bryan said slightly surprised as he looked over at Matt.  Bryan had
picked up on the same energy between the two teenagers that Matt had felt.
There was little doubt in Bryan's mind that both boys before him were gay
and probably in love with each other.  Since they mentioned girlfriends,
Bryan assumed correctly that both boys were struggling with their sexual
identity.

"Well, they must be two special girls two have two good looking guys like
you as their boyfriends."

Both Brent and Devyn felt the heat begin to move up their necks and spread
over their faces.  Both Matt and Bryan could see the embarrassment Bryan's
comment had made.

"Just ignore Bryan.  He likes teasing people, Matt explained."

"Yeah, you should see how I tease Matt...or well no I guess you shouldn't
see that."

Brent could not believe he was standing there talking to these two gay men.
He couldn't believe that they seemed so ordinary.  They acted just like any
other guy.  The only difference he picked up on was they were affectionate
with each other.

Brent found it somehow exciting watching the two men's easy and relaxing
attitude with each other.  He liked the way they were completely
comfortable touching and being touched by each other.  It did not seem to
bother either of them to have his shoulder squeezed or a hand rub up and
down a strong back.

The other thing that surprised Brent was how masculine they both seemed.
Brent had always assumed that one guy had to be more feminine than the
other to make the relationship work.  However, that did not seem the case
with these two guys.  They were both very much masculine and very well
built.  They both obviously took pride in their appearance and maintained a
toned and fit body.  Brent could not stop his mind from picturing them
having sex.  He wondered which role each man played during their
intercourse.

"Brent, Brent," Devyn repeated trying to bring his friends mind back to the
present.

"Huh?  What?"

"Damn you spaced out man," Devyn said.

Brent's face flushed an even brighter red than it had before.  He couldn't
believe what he had been thinking about.  Now he had lost all track of the
conversation.

"I um, got distracted what was it you were asking?"

"Matt asked if we wanted to get something to eat with him and Bryan.  Is
that okay with you?"

"Oh yeah, that is fine."

The four of them headed to the food court.  After a few minutes of checking
out the lines and the selection they each ended up with pizza.  They then
moved to a table and took seats.

Devyn couldn't help but notice that Matt and Bryan sat close and that their
hands seemed to be touching under the table from time to time.  He wondered
how much trouble they got into showing their affection for each other in
public.

Brent and Devyn both found that they were completely comfortable with the
other two men.  It seemed so natural sitting there and talking with them.
It seemed as if they were able to connect on some level that the two boys
had only been able to connect with each other on until now.

They ate, joked, teased and laughed together.  The pizza soon disappeared,
and they seemed to not want to part from the two interesting men.

"Well, we should be going," Matt finally said.  "It is getting late and you
two still have to get those special girls something."

"Oh yeah, we do.  Shit man your Mom is going to be back to pick us up
soon," Devyn said.

"Yeah, she will be.  We're going to have to shop fast now.  You two
wouldn't have any suggestions, would you?" Brent asked looking at Bryan and
Matt.

"Us, we don't even know these girls," Bryan said.

"Stuffed animals are always good," Matt suggested helpfully.

"We actually thought about that," Devyn said.

"Yeah, most girls like a nice teddy bear," Matt suggested.

"Some guys do too," Bryan said smiling his eyes twinkling with mischief.
"I know I like the big teddy bear I got last year for Christmas."

"Bryan," Matt began to reproach his friend when Brent innocently
interrupted.

"Oh, was it a big soft huggable one?"

"Oh yeah, it sure was and the best part is," Bryan leaned in close to the
two boys his voice dropping to just a whisper as he added, "he's
anatomically correct and I sleep with him every night."  The boys looked
from Bryan to Matt and then back again.  The light going on as they
realized Bryan was talking about Matt.  They began grinning their faces
growing a little warm, but they did not think they were as red as Matt was
when Bryan added to the information about his gift.  "You should have seen
the awesome bow that was on it and the interesting place it was tied."

Bryan's eyes dropped down to glance at matt's crotch and then back to the
boys.  They had followed his gaze and knew exactly what that bow had been
tied around.

"Were going," Matt said still embarrassed by Bryan.  You are going to get
it when we get home."

"Oh no, not the belt again," Bryan said in mock fear.

"No, you would enjoy that too damn much," Matt said chuckling.

Brent and Devyn couldn't stop their laughter.  They had enjoyed hanging out
with the two men and it was cool to have them making the kind of jokes
about their sexuality and not feeling embarrassed or ashamed about it.

Devyn and Brent left the two men who were heading home and headed for the
build-a-bear store.  They figured they might as well just go with a nice
bear and have something for the girls or be in deep shit with them.

After buying the bears, they walked slowly to the main entrance to the
mall.  There they sat to wait on Brent's mother.

"You know they are not like I expected.  They are very normal acting guys.
I mean if I didn't know they were, um, you know I wouldn't know."

"Yeah, Matt is great," Devyn said honestly.  "I really like him.  I just
wish my dad treated him better."

"Maybe it isn't so bad being, um, that way," Brent said.

"My Dad seems to think it is unnatural and that you will burn in hell for
being...gay," Devyn said struggling to say the word.

Devyn made himself say the three-letter word.  He forced himself to use the
word both he and Brent seemed scared to say.

"But Matt and Bryan are nice.  They didn't touch us in any inappropriate
way.  Heck other than the few comments Bryan made, their conversation was
cleaner than I have had with my cousins and uncles.  Of course, none of
those conversations involved anything um, gay."

Brent forced himself to use the word and seemed to feel better after words.
It seemed to make it easier to say the word the next time and the time
after that.

"Did you notice how casual it seemed for them to touch each other?  How
easily it seemed to come to them to run a hand over each other's strong
backs or shoulders or even up their strong arms?"

"Yeah, I did.  It seemed natural to them.  I wish it was like that with
Tracey and me."

"Yeah and with me and Sue too."

It was then that Linda Watson's car pulled up in front of the mall.  Brent
and Devyn hurried to the car and climbed in.

"I see you two found what you were looking for tonight."

"Yeah, I think we did," Brent said.

Linda had invited Devyn in to wrap his gift.  "We have lots of wrapping
paper and bows and all of that stuff.  You might as well make use of it,"
she had said.

Devyn took her up on her offer and followed Brent and his Mom into their
house.  He called his own house to let his folks know where he was and then
he headed to Brent's room to wrap the bear he had bought for Sue.

"Well, it isn't a perfect wrapping job, but it isn't too bad."

"Yeah, you did a good job Devyn.  I think maybe it is better than the job I
did."

"Nah, yours looks really nice.  Looks more professional than mine."

Devyn rubbed his hand across Brent's back the way he had seen Matt due to
Bryan.  It felt so nice to touch his friend.  He could feel the solid
planes of Brent's back and the heat of his friend's body through the
long-sleeved tee Brent was wearing.

Brent felt a charge as Devyn's hand passed over his back.  He could feel a
surge of energy flow into his body.  It was so nice and comforting.

Brent turned to face his friend.  His whole body seemed charged with some
sort of new energy.  He didn't know if it was left over from the good
feelings he had found hanging out with Matt and Bryan or if it came
straight from Devyn's touch.  He just knew he did not want it to stop.

He brought his hand to Devyn's shoulder and stepped in even closer.  It
felt natural to be like this with Devyn.  It felt good to be this close to
his friend.

Devyn slid his arm around Brent's waist and around to his back.  He pulled
his friend in closer.  It felt good having Brent this close to him.

They had not been like this since that night over the Thanksgiving holiday.
They had been pushing their feelings for each other down.  They had been
denying what they felt inside.  Now those feelings were coming back up and
they were even stronger than before.

Leaning in, Devyn brought his lips to Brent's.  The heat of their bodies
soaked through their clothes.  There was a surge of young sexual energy in
them both. Sexual teenage energy seemed to be flowing between their
touching lips.

Their arms went around each other, and they pulled each other together.
Their bodies locking together and almost merging.  Their tongues began
exploring.  Their hands began caressing up and down each other's backs.

They did not say a word for long moments.  They just held each other and
kissed there standing in Brent's bedroom.  The wrapping paper and bows were
strung across the room.  It looked as if they had unwrapped their feelings
for each other and they could not take them back or push them back into the
box.

"We just couldn't deny it any longer," Devyn said to Joe. It still amazed
the teenager how easy it was to talk to Joe. It felt good sharing his
feelings with someone.

"You can only hold those feelings in for so long," Joe said. "You and Brent
had a connection and you were not going to be able to push it down
forever."

"We couldn't," Devyn said. "Letting go like that in his bedroom made me
feel free. It was the first time in months that I felt that way."

"It is nice you had that with Brent," Joe said.

"It was great back then," Devyn said. "I wish I could go back to that
time." His voice was wistful as he thought, and recast is fishing line.

"I am sure you do, but you can't go back.  You will just have to deal with
the present.  You learned a lot since then."

"Oh yeah," Devyn agreed.  "I know more about sex between guys than I ever
thought I would."

"I think you learned more than just about sex," Joe said.

"yeah, I learned Brent is a fucking asshole," Devyn said, "and that life is
full of hard knocks."

"Watch the language," Joe said.

"um, sorry," Devyn said looking at his fishing pole.

"It's alright," Joe said and reaching over he squeezed the teenager's
shoulder. "I do it sometimes."

"I made a lot of mistakes," Devyn said.

"We all make mistakes," Joe said. "just learn from them and don't repeat
those past mistakes."

"I won't," Devyn said, and he honestly meant it.

Copyright 2020 by Keith Yates (keith.96@att.net) All rights reserved.
Copyright 2011 by farmerboykeith@hotmail.com