Date: Sun, 16 May 2010 13:48:03 -0700 From: Dolphin Dan Subject: Gary and Casey's Long Goodbye GARY AND CASEY'S LONG GOODBYE By Dolphin Dan *** WARNING *** This story contains descriptions of consensual sexual acts between members of the same gender. If it is illegal or morally objectionable for you to view this material, please do not continue. *** *** *** (I collect people's stories of their sexual experiences, particularly males with other males. This is a story told to me a couple of years ago by a friend of mine I'll call Gary. I've embellished a little bit, added details and changed names but it's essentially true. I've written the story from Gary's point of view, very much as he told me.) Years ago I had a sexual relationship with Casey, my ex-girlfriend's son, that lasted over 14 years. The relationship began when I was 28 and Casey was 12 but continued well into his adulthood. What happened between us was entirely consensual, and the part of it that happened before Casey was of-age was not 'child abuse'--in fact if anything it was he who molested me. That sounds strange but it is true. This was when I was living in suburban Indiana and working as a mechanic. I was dating my girlfriend, Jeanine, who had Casey out of wedlock when she was in high school. I was a biker then, long hair, wore leather clothes and such and I met Jeanine at a metal concert. Casey was a headbanger too, he was very cute with long hair and sea-green eyes. Jeanine didn't make much money, worked as a waitress, and lived in a trailer way out in a rural area. It wasn't even like a mobile home, but more like a large RV. When she and I got serious about each other I began to stay over at her trailer a lot, mainly because my roommates (I lived in an apartment) had cats and she was allergic to them. Casey kind of had his own area closed off by curtains but it wasn't really that private, how private could you be in a trailer. I didn't mind and Jeanine said Casey was old enough to know what was going on between us, so we didn't really go much out of our way to shield the fact that we were having sex there. (I would have felt really uncomfortable about it if he was younger, but you had to know Jeanine, she was street-smart and raised a street-smart kid). Jeanine often had to work early Sunday mornings, and one time, I guess it was in the fall because I remember gold leaves outside the trailer, I was sleeping in after she had gone to work. We'd had sex the night before. To this day I have no idea what it was that caught Casey's interest but I guess he must have heard us having sex during the night and was probably watching us. All I know is, I was sprawled on the bed in the main room, naked, with the covers lying half off me so my crotch was exposed. I was kind of groggy and sleepy and I remember waking up and feeling a hand on my cock. I didn't open my eyes because I was still kind of in that half-sleepy, half-awake phase, and for a while I thought it must have been Jeanine, but then I knew it had to be Casey. He was kneeling on the carpet in front of the bed and feeling me up. His hand was warm and felt good. I remained very still but I couldn't help getting hard. I think he was really fascinated by my dick, especially by its size (I don't have an unusually large cock but obviously it was much bigger than his at age 12). He played with it for a few minutes, running his hands over it and fondling my balls. Then he let go. I heard the curtain that separated his "room" from the main part of the trailer being pulled back. I never moved or opened my eyes and I was pretty sure he thought I was asleep. The incident was strange but I didn't think much of it, and surely I didn't mention it to him or to Jeanine. Then about two weeks later it happened again. Once again, a Sunday morning, Jeanine at work, and me naked in her bed laying on my back. This time I heard the curtain being pulled back as he came out, but it was a long time before he moved. I think he was trying to determine if I was asleep. When he was convinced I was, he came to the side of the bed like he'd done before and started feeling up my cock which quickly got hard. He was a little more bold this time and played with it longer. He rolled my balls in his palm and even jerked me off a little. He liked to pull my foreskin (I'm uncut) up over the head and then back down again. Finally I shifted position slightly, and Casey let go of me and darted for his own room. I did open my eyes and saw the curtain being pulled back. I pulled the covers up over me. Not long after I heard Casey masturbating in his "room." He was doing it right on top of his bed, and must have known that if I was awake I'd hear him. Casey sometimes pushed limits, did it a lot with his mom, and this was one of those times. He wanted to see if I'd yell at him or tell him to stop. I didn't. In fact I went back to sleep, and once again I never mentioned the incidents to him or anyone. The next week I stayed over Casey was sleeping over at a friend's and wasn't there, but the conditions of his "explorations" were duplicated again the week after that. This time I kind of invited it. When I woke up, it was probably 6:30 in the morning, I deliberately pulled the covers off and lay there on top of the covers with my legs spread and my package perfectly visible. I can't say that I was really hoping Casey would molest me again, but it wouldn't have bothered me--I admit when he did it the first two times it felt good, and it was sort of a forbidden sexual experience that I'd never had before. (I had been with guys a few times back in my early 20s but nothing serious). Sure enough, he took the bait. I kept my eyes closed but didn't really make that much pretense of being asleep. I guess my cock wanted his attention more than my brain did, because this time I was hard before he started, having heard the curtain being pulled back again. He knelt down by the side of the bed and took my dick in his hands. I wonder if he'd been practicing because he did it differently now, one hand on my balls and the other jerking me off with a slow steady motion. The other times he just sort of played. This time it seemed he was on a mission to make me cum. I shifted position a little, and he stopped stroking, but when I was still and didn't say anything he continued. He did a pretty good job of jacking me off, at least as good as his mother did. I tried to control my breathing but I'm sure I was panting just a little as I approached orgasm. I came all over my belly and his hand. I have no idea whether he could cum himself, but he must have been fascinated by what I put out. When I was done there was sperm all over me and leaking down my slackening dick into my pubic hair. He made no effort to clean me up and darted back into his area. I expected to hear him jerking off within seconds, and he did. He grunted when he came. Casey was no dummy. I think he knew I was awake for at least part of his hand job, and now he knew I wouldn't yell at him and that I wanted it too, though talking about it was still taboo. The week after that it started to get into a routine. Just hearing that curtain being pulled back--it was always about 7:30 in the morning--was enough to get me hard. This time I had my eyes open. Casey was dressed only in his underwear, just plain white briefs like kids wear. He looked at me and our eyes met but neither of us said anything. He knelt down by the bed and I spread my legs and put my hands behind my head. He took my cock in his hands and jacked me really good. The feeling of pleasure from him was really pretty intense. I moaned a little bit. He felt up my balls and loved to play with my foreskin, drawing it down over the head of my penis and then pulling it back again. I wished I could have made it last longer but I came pretty fast that morning. After I came I lay there, and I saw Casey stand up. He was rubbing his crotch and I could see the outline of his little cock through his underwear. He was obviously turned on and really needed to cum. I said the first words either one of us said since the thing began, and I just said, "You can do it here." Casey whipped off that underwear like it was burning his skin. His penis was about three inches long fully hard. He was cut, which was why I knew he was fascinated by my foreskin. He took his little dick in his hand and started stroking furiously. I said one other thing, "Don't get it on the carpet," and he didn't. He came into the underwear he'd just been wearing. I have no idea how much he came, probably not much because he was young, but it must have been something because he needed the briefs to catch it. When he was done he went back into his room. I cleaned up with some paper towels and then went back to sleep. This continued to happen a couple more times over the next two months or so. It wasn't every week because in Jeanine's schedule she was sometimes off on Sunday mornings, or Casey was gone at a friend's house or visiting his father. But when the two of us were alone, more often than not he'd come out in the morning and jack me off. I estimate it happened about eight or nine times total, and not a single word was said between us about it or while it was happening. That was the weirdest thing, we never talked. I specifically remember the last time. He was jacking me off really good, but then toward the end he slid my cock into his mouth. I was really surprised at that and kind of hesitant--it was like crossing some kind of line that I didn't think we should cross. If he had asked me if he could blow me I'd have said no, and I think he knew that, so he just went ahead and did it, and he did it at the very end so it would be harder (try impossible!) for me to stop. My balls were tightening up and I knew I had about two or three seconds before I blew my load. Crafty kid! I didn't try to stop him and I came in his mouth. It was one of the most powerful orgasms I'd ever had. I don't think he was really prepared for it because when I was done ejaculating he immediately bolted for the kitchen area (only a few feet away in that small trailer) and I heard him spitting and gagging. After he washed it down the sink he retreated back into his area and closed the curtain. That was unusual too, usually he jacked off right after he finished me. I'm sure he must have masturbated because his dick was still rock-hard, visible in his briefs, but I didn't hear him. I think he knew that maybe he went too far and I was uncomfortable. That incident got me thinking about what was happening and I decided it wasn't right. If Casey ever told anybody about what was going on in the trailer on Sunday mornings, no one would care that he was the one who started it and I'd end up on a sex offender list. I already had a record for drug-related stuff years ago and a bar fight in Columbus, and a child abuse rap would consign me to loserville forever. The next Sunday that Jeanine had to work I got up early with her and took her to work, and then went home. Lucky for everybody, she quit her job that week and went to work at another place with a totally different schedule. I still hung around the trailer a lot and Casey was often there, but it was never the two of us alone together. We never talked about it and we both went on like it had never happened. By now Casey was going with some girl at his school, and he seemed sincere about her, so of course I wasn't going to mention anything. By the time summer vacation came around Jeanine and I split up. Three years and several failed relationships later, though, we got back together. We had remained friends during the whole time we weren't dating, and then one night we were like, "Well, want to give it another try?" and we decided yes. By now Jeanine had a real house and I had a better job so things were much different. Casey was 15, in high school and had turned into a standard headbanger kid. What happened between us never entered my mind when I was getting back with Jeanine. It was something that happened and it was over. Then one day Jeanine asked me to pick him up at school. I happened to be off and she was working, so I took her car and got Casey at school. We listened to some old Deep Purple, talked about bands and motorcycles and stuff. Then out of the blue he asked me, "Can I blow you?" He wasn't even looking at me when he said it; he was looking out at the road. He said we could pull over somewhere where people wouldn't see and he'd give me a blow job. Instantly I was conflicted. I admit I kind of wanted it, and I was already semi hard, but I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I reacted angrily. Don't remember what I said but basically I told him no way. He didn't mention it again. When I got home I jacked off like crazy. I couldn't help it. But I wasn't going to go back into that situation. The second time around in a relationship never works as well as the first, and Jeanine and I split up again about two months later, this time for good, and she moved to Arizona. But, like before, we stayed friends. She'd call me every couple of months. One time she talked about Casey and talked about the terrible problems she was having with him. He'd had a problem with alcohol and drugs (he was now 17) and then snapped out of that very quickly and totally went the other direction. He cut his hair and started going to a fundamentalist church and was really judgmental, he'd yell at his mom that she was living her life sinfully and all of that crap. Poor kid obviously was confused. When I heard this I was really disturbed because now he was in a very anti-gay environment and I was afraid he was going to tell somebody that I molested him (again, nobody would care that the reverse was true). It occurred to me that Casey could blackmail me for the rest of my life with this bullshit. Nothing happened though and Jeanine didn't mention much about him after that, so I let it drop. Fast-forward about a year. I was 35 now. By now Jeanine and I had lost touch and I'd moved too, down to Florida to try to start over (I started a motorcycle shop). One day out of the blue I got a phone call from Casey who was now 18. He said his mom was dying of breast cancer. I got in touch with her but it was already almost too late and she passed away within a few weeks. She was the same age as me, 35. I flew to Flagstaff for the funeral. Evidently Casey's church phase didn't last long because he was again in jeans and rock T-shirts, had a little goatee and was trying to grow his hair again. Casey kind of took to me at the funeral and that weekend. There was the wake and then the day after that there was sort of a dinner, Jeanine's brother took everybody out to Outback Steakhouse. Casey and I got along real well and it was obvious he was very confused about what was going to happen to him next. I had a couple of beers at Outback, and Casey and I got talking about his mom, music, motorcycles, lots of stuff. He asked if he could come back to my motel. I said, sure, why not. I wasn't thinking about sex at all and I don't think he was either. We got two six-packs of beer and were drinking and talking late into the night. After a while Casey pretty much passed out. I laid him out on the bed in my motel room and I realized I had a raging hard-on. I shouldn't have done it--I was drunk--but I started to unbutton Casey's jeans. He wore boxer briefs now, the kind with a button fly. I rubbed my own hardening dick through my pants as I gently touched his package through his underwear. The whole time I was rationalizing to myself, "It's OK, he's 18 now, it's OK, he probably wants this anyway!" but part of me felt terrible about it. Still I couldn't stop myself. I pulled off his T-shirt. He had a beautiful smooth chest and perfect round nipples. I unzipped my fly and took my own cock out. I rubbed my tip against his nipples and down his smooth belly. I had no idea how turned on I was, and a moment later I was horrified when I felt an orgasm coming and I blew my load all over Casey's stomach. He was still unconscious. I went to the bathroom, got a hand towel and cleaned all my sperm off him. Some had landed on his underwear and I hoped to God it wouldn't stain and that he'd notice it in the morning. He stirred but never woke up. I pulled off his jeans, pulled back the covers and got him into bed. (The room had 2 separate beds). I went to bed too. In the middle of the night I woke up and heard him snoring. Just him being so close, and thinking of what I could do to him if I wanted, my dick was hard as steel. I was so aroused I had to jack off under the covers. I didn't do anything of course, but it was really difficult to restrain myself. In the morning everything was fine (except for Casey's hangover) and of course I never told him anything. I was flying back to Florida that day and he was going back to Indiana with his dad. We promised to keep in touch. Two months later a package showed up at my motorcycle shop. It was from Casey, from Indiana. Inside was a cassette tape, a copy of a demo by a band that Casey had started. Inside the tape case was a note. It just said, "I wish you had done more. Love, Casey." It also gave a phone number. You could interpret that any number of ways but it was obvious what he meant. Whether he'd been awake when I molested him in the motel room or (more likely) he found a stain on his underwear and figured something must have happened while I was undressing him, obviously it was something he wanted. I waited about three weeks and then called him. We talked for an hour. He was attending community college and working with his band. Throughout the conversation I was afraid to get to the point. Finally I thought, fuck it, this is ridiculous. We're both adults (at last, thank God!) and we both want this. So I said, "Do you want to come down here to visit for a weekend?" He said, "Sure, that'd be great." Just like that. It was like a barrier had been broken. Now we weren't afraid of each other. I flew him down to Orlando about a month later for a long weekend. We didn't even make it home from the airport. "I can't wait," he said. "I've been waiting for this for years." I told him to put his jacket over his lap and pull his dick out of the fly of his jeans. While I was driving--this was like 5PM, heavy traffic on the freeway--I reached over under his jacket. It seems amazing, I mean, we had been doing sexual stuff for 6 years now, but I had never touched Casey's erect dick before. I started to masturbate him and he just went crazy, moaning and stuff. I told him to stay still and keep quiet. He came in my hand, a huge load. I remember the feeling of his hot cum spurting all over my hand and the sighing sound he made. He was really in heaven. He said he wanted to jerk me off or even suck me right there in the car but we couldn't find a way to do it while I was driving. When we got to my place as soon as we got in the door he slammed me up against the door and was getting on his knees, undoing my belt. The feeling of him sliding my rock-hard cock into his mouth--exactly like he did six years before--was pure joy. He took me all the way down. I came at the back of his throat. The pleasure was so incredible it almost split my head apart. We fucked every way we could think of for about three days straight. We did it all. I sucked Casey's cock, he sucked mine, sometimes we 69'd. He begged me to take his ass, and I did, and while we were doing it he begged me to cum inside of him, and I did that too. It was fucking incredible. I let him get into my ass too, and he's still the only guy I've ever let do that. We fucked on the bed, on the floor, on the couch, in the shower, everywhere. On Sunday afternoon I brought him to the bike shop and I fucked him while he was bent over the frame of a '54 Harley I was restoring. Once he jacked me off into a glass, poured a little Jack Daniel's into it and did a shot of whisky and sperm. That was creative. We showered together and he shaved my balls for me, right before dropping to his knees and giving me the best blow job I've ever had. By the time I took him back to the airport (I masturbated him on the way, of course) I couldn't cum another drop and my dick and my asshole were both sore. But it was awesome, one of the best weekends I'd ever had. Still, as great as this was, it was all happening kind of in the background of both our lives. We didn't think about each other obsessively or even much at all. It's not like we were going to be a couple or anything. I was 35 and he was 18. From outward appearances we were both straight. I mean, I never intended to give up women, and though Casey was probably "gayer" than I was, he was still interested in girls. So it wasn't a relationship and it wasn't going to be. It was another year before I saw Casey again. We talked a few times and once we had phone sex which was really hot. But it wasn't until the next summer (he was 19, I was 36) that I saw him in person. Again I flew him down to Orlando for a weekend. It was pretty much the same story as the first time except we took a trip and got a hotel room on Key West this time. This second time he wasn't so much into fucking me but he always wanted me in his ass, over and over again. It was interesting, though, that on this trip we talked for the first time about things that happened in the trailer years ago when his mother was still alive. He said it took him weeks to get up the courage to touch me that first time and he was sure I was going to react badly, but he was willing to accept whatever punishment he'd receive because he wanted to do it so much. He also told me more about the motel room incident. When he woke up after passing out that night he realized I had done something to him, and he even came over to my bed and felt me up through my underwear while I was sleeping. He said he had to go to the bathroom and jack off. Probably when he went to bed again was when I woke up and jacked off, because what he'd done got me aroused in my sleep and I remembered waking up with an erection so hard it almost hurt. It was fun recounting these old memories, learning a little bit more about things that were now in the past. Two more years passed. My motorcycle shop went under and I got a job selling Harleys in Orlando, at a dealership that I eventually bought years later. Casey struggled through community college but eventually transferred to a 4-year college in Indiana. For most of this period he had a long-term girlfriend so we didn't talk much. Then one night, real late on a Friday night, he called. It was a little awkward because my own girlfriend Rhonda was living with me at that point, but I talked to him. His girlfriend had dumped him and I think he was a little drunk. He said that I was the only person he'd really loved, that I was more of a "dad" than his real dad, and he wanted to be with me forever, real sappy stuff. I talked him down from this and told him, look, we've had fun but don't make it out to be more than it is. I said, I'm not your dad and I can't love you the way you think you want me to which isn't really what you want either. He called the next day and agreed I was right and that he was sorry. When he hung up I had a feeling I would never hear from him again. That was almost true, because it was a long time. After I got serious with Rhonda I told her about Casey (I had told her at the beginning that I'd had some experiences with men) and she was okay with it. When we decided to get married, three years into our relationship, I really struggled with whether or not to invite Casey to the wedding. Finally I decided I would. I'd long ago lost Casey's number and figured he'd moved anyway, but I searched for him on the internet and found him. I sent a wedding invitation with just a short personal note, nothing sexual or anything suggesting that I wanted that. He responded with an email. He was doing well, he was now 27 and wound up working at a rock climbing gym in Indianapolis. He had his own long term girlfriend and he said he was thinking of marrying her. This put me at ease because it gave us both excuses to not jump into bed. I called him on the phone and we talked for a long time, hours, never about sex, but we traded reminiscences about his mom, now dead 9 years, and music and everything else we used to talk about. It was really great talking to him, and I was happy he was coming to the wedding but still a little reticent that we wouldn't be able to help ourselves from going to far. When he showed up for the wedding, his girlfriend Keiko with him, he looked terrific. I'd gotten fat and my long hair was now gray, I was 41, but Casey's sea-green eyes were still happy and inviting, and he was toned and fit and looked like a movie star. I admit that if he had wanted to full-on fuck me I probably would have done it. But, at the reception, he cornered me and he said, "You know what I'd like to do? Get together, just you and me, and talk sometime. Nothing else, but just talk." I thought that sounded great and it totally put me at ease, so I said, let's wait a couple of months and then email me. I got married, went on my honeymoon, and me and Rhonda were happy. Casey did email in about December with big news. Not only was he getting married too, but he was moving to Japan! That was where his girlfriend's family was from, and she had gotten him a gig teaching English over there. Casey was real matter-of-fact. He suggested that I come to Indianapolis a couple days before his wedding. We would get a motel room, have some drinks "and chat." I honestly didn't know if he intended for more than that to happen. There didn't seem anything strange about it, me a married man and him engaged. I agreed. So, two nights before his wedding we got together at a Quality Inn. We brought some booze and just hung out. We didn't have sex but we talked about it--not about having sex then and there, but about our memories of each other from years past. We sat apart, in the dark, me on the bed and him on a chair. "Tell me everything you remember," he said. We each told each other the story of those Sunday mornings in the trailer from our points of view and described everything in great detail. It was interesting hearing Casey talk about what my dick felt like in his hand or what he was thinking when he saw me cum for the first time. He laughed when I talked about how small his dick looked to me or what it was like hearing him masturbate behind the curtain after he jacked me off. When we were done talking we were both heavily buzzed from liquor and totally horny. "Let's not touch each other," he said, and I agreed. We both got on the bed together, put a towel between us, and jacked off together though it was still dark and we couldn't see each other well. When he came some of Casey's sperm landed on my bare thigh and that send me over the edge. I came so hard it hurt. It was really incredible. He got married and went to Japan and I went back to my wife in Florida. I do occasionally hear from Casey. When I finally got on Facebook he was one of my first friends. He's 34 now, still lives in Japan, still married, and has two kids. It sounds callous but it's not meant to be, but I don't want to see him again in person. Those times in the trailer happened almost 25 years ago now and some things are better left in the past.