Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2005 10:03:13 -0800 From: fritz@nehalemtel.net Subject: I Love Corey, Chapter Forty-eight Here we go again, writing the hated warning and disclaimer. What you say, why should I have to write such a thing? Well, it's like this. There are all those young people out there who are sneaking in to read this story. Well, maybe one young person is trying to sneak in. No matter the numbers, all you young people leave. After all, reading this story could be considered child abuse, that is if you consider reading a bad story to be child abuse. Sometimes I remember to put some descriptions of gay sex acts in the story so if that offends you, leave. I might remember to put some of those in this chapter and it is not my intention or desire to offend you. Then again, if you are offended that easily, maybe you ought to stick around. Enough exposure to such descriptions will probably dull such reactions. Alas, I have heard that there are areas in which reading this story is not legal. Why someone feels he has the right to control what other people read is beyond me. I guess they think their perceived moral superiority gives them that right. Too bad that such perceived superiority is a joke. Much too bad that some of those people have managed to succeed in passing really stupid laws. Remember, certain churches tried to stop the publishing and teaching of things that have proved to be true, like our planet is not the center of the universe and that the sun doesn't go around the earth. People, who try to prevent the right of others to read what they want, need to remember such things as the Inquisition and that it might happen to them. Go ahead and read the story but remember I made the whole thing up. There is no basis for it except my somewhat sick imagination. Please ask permission before posting it on another site and if you find something you wish to quote in it, please credit me for such a quote. Please remember to pray for Ernie's health. Without his editing, the story sucks. Well, it sucks worse without his help. Go ahead and take the plunge. Write and complain, ask questions, offer suggestions, or just comment on things you like or dislike. I do try to answer such emails. Send them to fritz@nehalemtel.net Put I love Corey in the subject line so I don't delete you. If you make it through this chapter, congratulations and I hope you enjoyed it. Fritz ******************************************************************************** I Love Corey, Chapter Forty-eight I was sleeping well, enjoying my Corey blanket, when the bed shook. Then some covers were pulled over us and I drifted back off. It was just too much effort to wake clear up and figure out what was going on. Corey was on one side of me and Lee on the other when the alarm went off. I stumbled to the bathroom, listening to a bunch of groaning. Time for another shower. Corey and Lee walked in and Corey joined me in the shower. At least dried cum washes off easily. Besides, it's fun to wash it off, especially when it's on Corey. We only played a little grab ass because we didn't have enough time to do more. Even that stopped when Lee stepped into the shower with us. I'm surprised I didn't drown. My mouth fell open and just stayed that way. There was plenty of room in the shower but I was just shocked that Lee would step in with us. Corey didn't seem to think anything of it and just handed him the bottle of shower gel. The only thing said was when Lee told us it was a cool shower. He pronounced it cool rather than the exaggerated kewl that some of the boys used. Robert was finishing his cereal when I got to the kitchen. He told me he was going in early to help Mr. Downie get caught up on his bacon and hams. The sparkle was back in his eyes and he looked happy. He and Lee visited a couple of minutes and Robert left. They didn't say much but were slowly getting acquainted. Both seemed shy around the other. For Lee that was normal but I think Robert was still worried about the fight and was afraid that Lee was scared of him. The day went well and I actually managed to get some math taught. In fact, I covered a couple of day's worth. The students were paying attention and seemed to soak it up. The only thing that went wrong happened right before last period, which I had free. One kid slammed LT into the lockers and made some nasty comments. Both Mrs. Webb and I saw it and he was in the office so fast he had no idea of what was happening. He was one of the kids LT and JJ had mentioned and all the teachers had been keeping their eyes on him and his friends. I was surprised that anything would happen after this long a time. I would have thought it would have happened right after the word about LT and JJ got out. Franklin Daniels was known as the school bully. He had been in trouble several other times. He was big for his age and a little overweight. Well, maybe more out of shape. He was about six feet tall and must have weighed close to two hundred pounds, part of which was a spare tire. I'd never had him in class because he was in the lower ranking classes. I only got the students good in math. I had taught some courses in the lower math when I first started teaching but after the first year, I ended up with all the advanced classes. That meant that I had never had Frank, as he was called. Mr. Mathers was pissed, Mrs. Webb upset, and I was just plain furious. It would have been enough to make me angry to catch Frank doing that to any student but when it was to LT, I just wanted to beat the shit out of him. It took almost all of my self-control to keep from doing so. Frank tried to deny what had happened but with two teachers, eleven students, and LT to refute him, it was no contest. Mr. Mathers called Mrs. Daniels to explain what the trouble was. She showed up in about thirty minutes. By now most of my last period was over and I was worrying about picking up the boys so I hoped it would go quickly once she arrived. It didn't. Her little Frankie couldn't and wouldn't do something like that. The fact that there were thirteen witnesses plus LT didn't mean a thing. We were all lying because, well she didn't really have a reason why we were lying, just that we were. As things went their weary way I sent word to Corey to gather up JJ and meet Lee and then wait for us in the library. Of course LT was with us. He had a slight cut on his forehead, which oozed a little blood, but the nurse put a band aid on it. I had managed to calm down but Mrs. Daniels was doing her best to reverse that. It wasn't intentional on her part but her words were having that action. It was pretty apparent that her words were having the same affect on Mr. Mathers and Mrs. Webb. Where Mrs. Webb had been upset before, now she looked very angry. When Mrs. Daniels wouldn't make her son apologize to LT, or that little fag as she called him, Mr. Mathers told her that her son was suspended until the school board meeting and they could decide if he ever got to return to school. It got real ugly after that. She and Frank finally left amid much shouting about lawsuits and such. Jeez, the day had really gone to hell. JJ was pacing the library when we finally got there. We headed out and stopped at Downie's. By the time we got there, JJ had calmed down. He could see that LT was perfectly okay. There were several new people working and things looked fairly orderly. The store was still packed with customers but the check-out lines were moving and things seemed under control. The boys headed off to hang up their jackets and get ready for work. Mr. Downie had told them that they would work from four-thirty to six-thirty. He said that covered his peak rush and should be their permanent schedule. Ellen sent Lee back to help his `step-father?' and grabbed me. There was enough help so that she could take the time to do so. I had to explain the whole affair. Ellen was relentless in her questions and wouldn't give up until she knew all about what had happened to LT. She didn't look all that happy by the time I was done. Since they had hired enough people to run the store, I didn't have to help. I got some groceries and headed home. A bunch of the neighborhood kids were playing ball in the driveway and at least stepped aside and let me into the garage. I put the groceries away and got the mail. There was a letter from a legal firm that was fairly thick. I recognized the firm's name because they had been involved in the settlements of my parent's death. Why can't lawyers use English? I started trying to decipher what the letter was about. The coffee was done and I was only half way through the letter and still had no idea what they were trying to say. For Christ's sake, I'm a college graduate and this whole thing wasn't making much sense. There was some knocking on the door and I ended up inviting the basketball players in for a cold drink. I went back to the letter while they were going through the fridge. The drinks were about gone when I finally started to make sense of the letter. Holy shit! I had to stop and count off the zeros. While I might teach math, we normally don't use numbers that large. It seems that there had been some issues of maintenance problems that the original settlement that had not been covered. The foreign carrier had tried to cover them up and get by. There had finally been a settlement. There was a number, minus the lawyer's share, divided by the number of deaths. Since both my parents had died, that number was doubled. Then there was interest added. By now I must have looked strange because one of the ball players asked me if I was all right. I mumbled something about I was fine. My eyes were frozen on the last number. The firm of attorneys wanted to know how to transfer it to me. The number, $13,687,415.22. Thirteen million, six hundred eighty seven thousand, four hundred fifteen dollars and twenty-two cents. My mind wanted to shut down. All I could think of was that thirteen. A thirteen followed by six zeros, then a decimal point and two more zeros. It was way too many zeros. Those kinds of numbers were only supposed to be used in something like space travel, not money, at least not unless you were some kind of government agency or something. It was an obscene amount of money. I already had more money than I would ever need. I couldn't even grasp what that much money would do. I absently noted that they said they were sending a registered letter with a form to fill out and return, telling them how to handle the transfer. I'd thought those maintenance problems might amount to, at most, a hundred thousand dollars or so. In fact, the whole thing had been going on so long I really didn't expect anything. The doorbell rang and I absently yelled come in. I couldn't begin to stand up and do something like answer the door. Judy walked in. She took one look at me and asked what was wrong. I tried a couple of times to answer and just gave up and handed her the letter. I couldn't make my mouth work right. All that came out was gibberish. Judy accepted the letter with a look of fear. She started reading. After a while she looked up. "Are these numbers real?" "I think so," I managed to stammer. She turned back to the letter and turned to the last page. She read that page and turned to me. "Even this last page?" I'd been so shocked I hadn't read the last page. She handed it back and I read it. The first number was for the maintenance problems. In light of those problems, the original award was being raised. There would be an additional five million. However they were sorry to report that they had not been able to obtain interest on the five million. My mind idly noted that they really did sound sorry about the lack of interest. Due to a bunch of explanations I couldn't understand, the lawyers cut of the five million would only be twenty percent. So, five million, minus twenty percent was still four million. About then I saw that was per person. My mind about shut down. There were way too many zeros running around in it. Let's see, thirteen plus eight is... I couldn't come up with the answer. I pulled out a pen and tried to add it up on the back of the envelope. I still couldn't come up with the answer. There were still too many zeros involved. I was sitting there, looking at the back of the envelope when it finally dawned on me there were no zeros in either thirteen or eight. Let's see, thirteen plus eight equals twenty-one. Judy was trying to talk to me about Lee and Robert. I still had too many zeros floating around in my mind to be coherent. Judy finally snickered and said I wasn't much help and she would see me tomorrow. I was still staring at the letter. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was those strings of zeros. The phone ringing jerked me back from zero land. Corey wanted to know why I wasn't there to pick them up. I realized I had been staring at that letter for over an hour. It wasn't just zeros I had been thinking about. My parents had been the primary focus of those thoughts. All those zeros didn't begin to make up for not having them around me, to share in my triumphs and sympathize with me in my sorrows. The letter was even soggy, I suppose from my tears. Suddenly it hurt just as bad as it had the night I heard about it. I managed to pull myself together and go pick up the boys. What a rude way to get jerked back into reality. No, not the boys. They could see I was upset and to their credit, gave me some space. It was the phone ringing when we walked in the house. Caller ID said Daniels but I could have probably figured that out from the string of abuse and profanity coming from the handset. I wasn't in the mood for it so I hung up. Twenty seconds later it rang again. Same thing, so again I hung up. The third time it rang and showed Daniels I walked over to the base set and took a deep breath. I punched the speaker phone and shouted, "When you are willing to talk and not swear you can call me. Another foul word out of you and I'll call the cops." With that I punched the off button. Then I stood there, glaring at the phone, waiting for it to ring again. I wasn't disappointed. It soon rang and the caller ID showed Daniels. I debated but finally answered. Same old thing. I hung up and called the police. After explaining what was happening, they said they would send someone over to talk to him. It rang six more times with the Daniels ID before it quit. At least Mr. Daniels had jerked me out of my funk. I fixed dinner. It was quiet during dinner. We were just finishing when Corey got brave and asked me what was wrong. He didn't seem to believe me when I told him nothing. I finally handed him the somewhat soggy letter and told him to read the last few pages. Six heads were soon gathered around the letter, reading. "But this isn't bad news. I thought you were sad," he finally said. "That's a lot of money." I was just tired. Not only that, I didn't know what to say so I said the first thing that popped into my mind. "What that letter means is that some insurance companies and lawyers have finally decided what my folks were worth. It isn't enough. They couldn't put enough zeros to make it enough." My eyes were closed and I could feel the tears start to run down my face. A few seconds later I felt some arms wrap around me, followed by some more. We stood there, hugging and me crying for a while, all trying to come to grips with our own private demons. The seven way hug seemed to help. As the tears slowed, I felt a calmness descend. My folks were gone and I missed them desperately right at that moment but somehow I was ready to go on. I knew they would want me to. I also knew they had loved me. Billy and Larry headed home after that. Maybe the moment had been too emotional for them or maybe they just wanted some time together or wanted somewhere that wasn't quite so quiet. Whatever, the rest of us were all just sort of sad and quiet. Not real sad, maybe more subdued. The funny thing was, I was probably closer to being at peace with myself than I had been for years. Maybe it was closure that the letter had represented. There was a certain finality to the letter. It was all over now. My folks were gone and I would never see them again but somehow it was all right. They had loved me and I loved them. No matter how much we would like to go back, life goes on and we have to go on with it. Maybe I had been waiting all these years for something that allowed me to go on. There was a deep sadness but I was no longer angry about their deaths. I just missed them. Robert got home and had some of the spaghetti I had fixed. He looked tired but happy. He talked about how Carl was going to build a new and bigger smoke-house. The old one wouldn't be big enough to handle the increased business. Robert was going to be in charge of it. He was going to work tomorrow but would have Sunday off. His friend would be there to fill in. I was only half listening but my mind kicked in and I asked where his friend was going to stay. Robert started blushing. "God, I forgot. I was going to ask you if he could stay here until he can find a place. He can stay in my room with me. Boy I'm sorry, I really just forgot." He would have gone on but I interrupted him. "Don't worry, its okay." He apologized about a dozen more times before I got him shut up. After that we talked about finding him a place to live. He needed an apartment or something. He probably apologized a half a dozen more times during the conversation. It was apparent it had slipped his mind. I couldn't blame him because things had been pretty busy. He had expected to have a few days to look around and all he had done was work. He had been leaving before I did and getting home after the rest of us had eaten dinner. It was finally time for bed. Corey was just kind of out of it. He cuddled up in his favorite position but didn't even kiss me. He was just lying there, not sleeping. I started rubbing his shoulder. I knew he was thinking about something and I was pretty sure I knew what it was. As it turned out I didn't have to ask. "I wonder where Mom is." His voice sounded so little and helpless. Apparently my mentioning of my parents had started him thinking of his mother. I didn't have an answer so I just kept gently rubbing. After a while he relaxed and went to sleep. I just wished I could go to sleep. It took a long time and my mind covered a lot of things but in the end, there wasn't much I could decide. All I could do was think about a lot of things, like how my parents would have accepted Corey. I just didn't know and had no way of finding out. I know they would have liked my helping him but the rest, well that was something I had no way of even guessing. I wondered if they were looking down on me and if they were, what they thought. For that matter, what did I think? I was something I had always been taught to abhor. Was I taking advantage of Corey? Would he be better off without me? Could I give him up? I didn't have any answers, only questions. Two hours later I still didn't have any real answers but I had made one decision. For better or worse I would go ahead. My parents were now a thing of the past and Corey might be the future. Only time would tell. I was just dozing off when Lee crawled in beside me. Once again I knew I had to talk with him but couldn't do it. Sleep claimed me. Saturday was strange. I mean I was in a really weird mood. It wasn't that I was unhappy. I just felt sort of strange. For whatever reason I was totally relaxed. I think this was the first time I had been totally relaxed in a long time. I just hadn't realized it before. It felt really strange, but good. It was one of those days that I was hauling boys back and forth to work. They were all on different shifts. Granted the shifts were short but I still had to haul them back and forth. In between I did housework with whatever boys were home at the time. I finally got a chance to talk with Lee. It was a really good talk. He explained that he just felt safer when he slept with Corey and me. I explained that there was a lock on his door but that didn't seem to satisfy him. When I tried to explain that sometimes we might be doing something he just told me he had heard us a couple of nights ago and waited. I could feel my face heat up just thinking about that. I started trying to find out what he needed to make him feel safe. I eventually came to the conclusion that what made him feel safe was he thought we loved him. No, not in a physical sense but that we just loved him for who he was. It didn't take long to realize that Lee hadn't had much love in his life. The time I'd spent working with him last year, combined with the last couple of weeks had given him a sense of acceptance and love. For the first time that he could remember, someone listened to him and talked to him. No one was yelling at him or hurting him. All the boys had been trying to make him feel at home just as I was. Watching the other boys showed him that he didn't have to be afraid. At the end of the conversation I just hugged him and told him to try not to come in when there was any noise. He giggled, but didn't pull away. We must have stood there, hugging, for ten minutes before he finally pulled away from me. He had a grin on his face but there were tear tracks on his cheeks. I couldn't even begin to imagine what his life had been like even though he had told me. My mind wasn't equipped to deal with conditions like that. I had no frame of reference. Lee couldn't stop grinning. The rest of the day that grin was plastered on his face. When it was his turn to work, he bounced into the Gator and when we got there, he bounced out. I was almost in shock. He was a totally different person. Watching him grin made me grin. Like I said, it was a weird day. When Judy showed up, Lee still had his grin and so did I. Judy looked at me like I had lost my mind. Lee had finished his shift and told her all about it. I'd already heard the story but couldn't resist hearing him tell it again. He was so different than he had been and there was a sparkle in his eyes and a lilt in his voice. Ellen had sent him back to help Robert and Carl. Robert had taken the time to try to teach him a little about cutting meat. Lee was in seventh heaven because someone had taken an interest in him. Judy just sat there with a blank look while Lee babbled on. When he had answered all of Judy's questions, he gave her a hug and left to finish changing the bed I'd assigned him. "What the hell happened to him?" Judy asked in a shocked voice. Her expression matched her voice. "I think he finally feels safe." "Are you..." her voice sounded like she really didn't want an answer to that question by the way it trailed off. I think she felt she had to ask it. I just grinned. "Nope." I probably could have said more but like I said, I was feeling weird. Judy had a baffled look. I could see her trying to figure out what she wanted to ask. I finally took pity on her. "Well, he's been crawling in bed with me in the middle of the night. We had a good talk about it this morning." I probably should have said more but I couldn't resist. I was sure I was smirking. Her expression got even stranger. "W..W..What do you mean b..by that?" I could see she was about ready to explode. She couldn't figure out what to ask. I went ahead and explained all that Lee and I had talked about and my thoughts about him. I stressed that no matter where he ended up, he needed to feel safe and accepted. I also filled her in on how I had worked with him last year. While I had mentioned it to her, this time I gave lots of details. "Do you think he's in love with you?" Her question made me think. "I don't think so. I mean he might love me but I don't think he's in love with me." I thought a little more and finished with, "In fact, I'm pretty sure he's straight, although we've never talked about it." The conversation shifted to Robert. Judy was still looking at me in a funny way but her mind was once again on track. I filled her in on my thoughts on him. I also told her about the fight and Kathy falling for JJ. She giggled over that. About then Robert's friend came in with Corey and JJ. I hadn't showed up to pick the two boys up and he had hauled them home. Corey showed him where Robert's room was while I continued with Judy. He got unpacked while Judy and I finished up. When Judy was done finding out about Lee and Robert, she asked if I had gotten over the letter. Of course I knew the letter she was referring to but truthfully it had not crossed my mind all day. "I don't even know where it is. Somehow I never thought about it." A little thinking and I added. "It's only about money and the letter doesn't even have any of that." Judy looked flabbergasted at my remarks but left, saying she had to get home and start dinner. That got me thinking about cooking and I headed for the kitchen. Chuck Tanner, Robert's friend, was getting a glass of water. I'd been busy with Judy and had not met him. The only reason I knew who he was is that Corey had told me who he was when Chuck had brought him home. After introducing myself, I offered him some coffee, which he accepted. A couple of cups of coffee later, I had learned a few things about Chuck and some more about Robert. It looked like dinner would be a little late. In fact, it was almost time to pick-up Billy and Larry. The boys had just gotten back from riding their bikes somewhere. I offered Chuck the option of waiting a few minutes longer for dinner or going and picking Billy and Larry up. He chose the latter and so I asked him to pick up a couple of items and tell Mrs. Downie that she should take the money to pay for them out of Corey's wages. In a few seconds I was attacked by three boys with Lee encouraging them. Chuck retreated and left to get my part-time kids, as I called them. I managed to hand him some money as he left. However, that money didn't lesson the attack. It was all a verbal thing. The boys were trying to make me feel like some kind of monster for even suggesting such a thing. I was trying to tell them they were lucky I didn't sell their scrawny little asses into slavery. We continued sparing all the time they helped me fix dinner. You could hear comments about their scrawny little butts wouldn't be worth much on the open market and what great kids they were and how much they might bring at an auction. I'll leave you to figure out which of the above I said and which ones the kids said. Even though there were lots of snide comments on both sides, somehow we managed to get dinner started. The meatloaf was in the oven by the time Chuck returned with Billy and Larry. I had five pounds of hamburger, one pound of sausage, three eggs, a can of tomato sauce, a large chopped onion and some spices all mixed, shaped, and in the pan when I heard the garage-door open. I was going to have a very decidedly unhealthy dinner. Unhealthy but good. As soon as a little fat cooked out of the meatloaf I was going to put a layer of baby carrots and lots of onion wedges in the fat and cover it with foil. When the whole thing had cooked a little longer, some peeled potatoes would go in the pan and then the foil would go back on. Just before the potatoes were done, the foil would come off, the potatoes would be turned over, and everything would be allowed to finish cooking. A green salad would accompany the meatloaf, along with some beets, tossed in a little vinegar and a dab of butter. None of the boys were fond of beets but I liked them. It was my turn to have something I liked. Maybe in a couple of weeks I could have some asparagus. I was getting a little tired of green beans and corn. Those seemed to be the only vegetables the boys had ever heard of. About then Bob walked in. I introduced him to Chuck and after the usual greetings, he and Corey left for Corey's room. Chuck suddenly got a strange look on his face. It took me a few seconds to figure out what he was thinking. I cracked up. Chuck had this strange expression and I was sure he thought there was something going on between Corey and Bob. The two of them had been making their usual weird comments back and forth before they headed for Corey's room with Bob telling Corey he had this great DVD that Corey just had to see. I grabbed Chuck by the arm and practically dragged him to Corey's room. Bob had brought a DVD with a bunch of famous painting on it and he and Corey had their noses close to the TV while Bob was pointing out brushstrokes and explaining that they showed up a lot better in the actual painting. They had one picture frozen on the screen and then Bob pointed to the picture on Corey's wall. They moved over next to it and Bob was busy pointing to subtle little effects that brushstrokes could make. Corey and Bob were so wrapped up in what they were talking about that they jumped when they finally noticed us. When Chuck and I left, Bob was showing Corey some techniques to make a tree trunk look round. I was sure I couldn't do it but Bob was explaining that the effect came from shading and brush- strokes. Bob had explained that Corey had a lot of natural talent and could do a lot of the things he was trying to teach him. He wanted to teach him the fundamentals of how to paint and how to explain what he was doing. I'd already seen some of Corey's work and he could do a lot of the things Bob was going over but by doing it this way, Bob had told me, Corey would have a better understanding of what he was doing and why he was doing it. It was somewhat strange. Corey would spend a lot of time going over what Bob was teaching and when he decided to paint something, he was already far advanced from what he was being taught. I wondered if he ever felt frustration over covering the basics when he clearly was much more advanced than that. If so, he never mentioned it or shorted his lessons. Corey and Bob had to be called for dinner. The lesson wasn't done. We batted the breeze during dinner, talking about a lot of things. Of course Bob got filled in on LT's fight. Like the rest of us, he wasn't very happy about it. Lee said that nothing had been said to him about the boys and no comments were being directed about either Corey or me. That made Chuck's eyes open. Shit, an innocent comment was going to create more problems unless I could figure out how to cover it up. I could see Bob flinch when he heard it and I know I did. The boys didn't seem to even notice it. They just went on, chattering away. While we finished our dinners my mind was busy, trying to figure out if I could get by with a less than full explanation. In the end, I decided to try. I wasn't willing to just start talking about something that was so clearly against the law. Bob and Corey returned to finish the lesson and the rest of the boys cleaned up most of the cooking mess, after which they headed for the television. I saw that one of them had rented a movie. I was torn by wanting to know what they had rented and by needing to try to cover some tracks. I elected to cover tracks. No movie they could rent could be that bad. I didn't lie. There were a lot of things I left out but I didn't lie. I will confess to sometimes putting things in such a way that one might draw the wrong conclusions but I offered no such conclusions. While I was at it, I explained about the rest of the boys. I also mentioned that outside of Corey, the rest of the boys were with me because of Children's Services. That seemed to make Chuck feel a lot better about the whole situation. By the time I was done I knew I had to get both Chuck and Robert out of the house. This wasn't going to work. There was no way Corey and I could keep things a secret from two adults. In fact, we weren't doing a very good job of keeping it a secret. Every time I turned around it seemed like someone else knew. So far no one seemed to have a problem with it but I was sure that someday that would change. I would probably end up in prison then but I had decided last night that I couldn't live without Corey. If prison was the price, then I would have to pay it. All I could hope was that I could get Corey to a place in his mental and emotional development that would enable him to survive when that happened. It would be a lot easier to do that if I could just keep myself from jumping into other people's business. Had I not decided that Lee needed a family, Robert, and his friend Chuck, would not be here to create a problem. I kept thinking that I must have some kind of a mental defect to keep getting into situations that were so dangerous to me. Somehow I just couldn't seem to help myself. Uncle Matt and Aunt Sandy knew, Sara had figured it out and told me so when she kissed Corey at the airport and that meant that Bruno would know, Bob Asher and Carl Benson knew, Judy knew, I was pretty sure that Billy and Larry had suspicions, of course all the boys in the house knew, and then there were the Springers. I wasn't sure what they knew but there had been a few comments that led me to believe they had some suspicions. Who else, let's see? There was also Russ Young. He definitely wasn't dumb. He had to suspect. The whole thing was spiraling out of control and I couldn't seem to do much about it. There were probably others like Mr. Mathers and some of the teachers who had suspicions. Maybe I ought to just take out an ad and get it over with. In fact, what I couldn't understand was why the whole thing hadn't blown up by now. Robert got home and he and Chuck sat at the table and talked while Robert ate. I saw the boys were watching one of those mindless action movies and it looked no worse than most of the others I had seen. I decided to call Uncle Matt and fill him in about the letter. It was bedtime by the time I was done talking to Uncle Matt. I had to fill him in on the trip and explain how Lee was doing. That brought up Robert and of course required more explanations. I finally got to the letter and that took a bunch of time. There was what to do with the money and how I should handle having it transferred. I even had to talk with Kristen and Kevin. Aunt Sandy kept throwing comments in so I was sure they were on their speaker phone. Even Uncle Matt seemed somewhat overwhelmed when I told him the amount. There was only a gasp from Aunt Sandy. Her gasp sounded about like the way I had felt, reading the letter yesterday. Uncle Matt told me he didn't have any idea of what to do with that much money right away but he'd think about it. Aunt Sandy snickered over that and her comment about was he sure he was capable of such an action met with some whining from him and barbs back and forth between them. All right, I confess I added a few barbs to the conversation. It was a good visit and helped make up for not having quite as much time together over the holidays as we had planned. By the time we finished, people were heading for bed. I was in a real quandary. I was almost afraid to let Corey sleep with me and what about Lee. There was a good bet he would join us before the night was over. The problem was, there were two adults downstairs. I was trying to figure out what to do and what to say when Corey got in bed. My suggestion that maybe we ought to not do this was met with a flat no. He didn't argue, he just refused to talk about it. I did get him to say, if that was the way it was going to be, I had better get them out of the house. I suppose I should have been thrilled that he was willing to stand up for himself but in truth, I was pissed. I started to head for his bedroom and he just followed me. That left me with little choice if I didn't want a naked Corey walking around the house. I gave up and went to bed. Corey didn't snuggle into his favorite place though, he just turned his back to me and went to sleep. At least I thought he went to sleep. I was just lying there, trying to figure out what to do when the door opened and Lee came in. He slipped quietly into bed but he wanted to talk. We were whispering back and forth when Corey stuck his oar in. Lee had been trying to pin me down on what I thought of Robert and I was being somewhat evasive. I mean I figured he was a pretty decent guy but still wasn't well enough acquainted with him to say for sure. Lee was pretty taken with him. The little they had talked, while Robert was teaching him how to cut meat, had made a big impression. I still had reservations about him because he had hit the boys. Corey wasn't too happy because he had struck me. We both seemed to overlook being on the receiving side and were still upset over the other person's having been hurt. Almost an hour later Corey again turned his back to me and this time he did fall asleep. Lee snuggled up and did the same. Since I couldn't think of a good reason not to, I joined them. Corey woke up first and when he left to relieve himself, it disturbed me. I struggled out of bed and followed him. I turned on the shower and Corey joined me and we were soon joined by Lee. This had to be one of the strangest things I'd ever been involved in. Lee and Corey seemed to think nothing of it. Needless to say, there was no playing around in the shower. It's surprising how much faster it goes under those circumstances. We were soon headed for the kitchen. We had the paper read and some coffee drunk by the time Robert, or Rob as he was now insisting I call him, showed up. I started fixing something for breakfast and when it was far enough along, I sent Lee to get the other boys. Rob was telling me all about the list of places he had to check out. It seems that he had managed to take a couple of minutes to contact a real estate agent and ask about rentals. While we were eating I looked over the list. I was only familiar with a few of the places and ruled a couple of them out. He was going to meet with the realtor after lunch to examine the rest. We spent our spare time finishing the housework. Then it was time to go to church. I was surprised. JJ and LT were no longer complaining. They acted like they had always attended and enjoyed it. Maybe it was all the cookies and things that were always served after services. I swear they were like vultures. They could spot one cookie like a buzzard flying over a road kill. When it involved a whole plate full of cookies, look out buzzards. The air turbulence created by their swooping in on that plate would disrupt the flight of a 747. I'd heard more than one adult laugh over the antics of the boys and the rest of the young people who attended church. There was usually something over forty young people who were heading back for seconds by the time the adults even got to the dining room. I have to confess that the ladies of the church made some awfully good cookies. That reminded me. Next Sunday I was scheduled to take a cake or two and I noted it on the calendar. Mr. Besslor was there and playing the organ. Fr. George was his usual brief self and soon the boys headed for the dining room. Mr. Besslor stopped in long enough to say hi and then left. It wasn't long before Fr. George and his wife cornered me and they were chuckling about him. They thought it was as funny as I did. Mr. Besslor had been positively bubbling before he left. He had a sappy grin on his face that no one could miss. The boys finished grazing the table before we left. If I could get them to a Costco I probably wouldn't have to feed them for a week. Of course no one else would get any samples but that wasn't my problem. I needed to make sure Uncle Matt sold my shares in Costco before I did that. The stock price was bound to go down after such a visit. Rob was getting nervous. I apologized to Fr. George for leaving early and took him home so we could change and meet with the realtor. The boys wanted to go with him and look over the places. Even Corey decided that we could go to the trap club on another weekend. What the fascination in looking at rentals was I wasn't sure, but it was fine with me. Rob had asked me to go with him because he thought I might have some idea of what he should do. We all piled back into the Gator and it was off to look at various apartments and houses. What a joke. If it was big enough, the rent was through the roof. Not only that, most of them could best be described as somewhat rundown. Well, I'm trying to be polite. It didn't take long to figure out this wasn't going to work. "Rob, where is Chuck going to live?" I already knew Chuck was divorced and had no children. "He was going to get a small apartment," he replied. "Ever think of going together and getting a somewhat bigger place? You could share the rent." By now the realtor had run out of places to show us and we were headed home. "I don't really know him but you said he was your best friend and something like that might be best for everyone. The additional rent would open up a lot more possibilities." Rob didn't say much as we continued home. He was clearly disappointed in what was available in the price range he had told the realtor. I wondered if the rents in California were higher than Kentucky. I hadn't really paid any attention to what rents were going for around here but Rob seemed to be looking at the bottom of the scale. Since we were going past Downie's, I decided to stop and pick up some more food. It was either that or start having the delivery trucks start stopping at the house. It didn't seem like the Gator could haul many day's worth the supplies when the boys were in it. Rob headed back to talk to Chuck while the rest of us started filling carts. Well, only one and a half carts. There was once again a sale on oranges and a few crates about filled one cart. When we were ready to check-out, Rob said he was going to stay and help Chuck. I suspected there was going to be some talking as well. The Downies had told the boys that Sunday was their slowest day and none of them would have to work on that day. I liked that because it gave us a day to be together. Since the meatloaf had suffered such serious damage at dinner last night, I decided to fix a pork roast. I'd thought that meatloaf would be sufficient to allow for some sandwiches and perhaps soup for dinner this evening. I could still make the soup but the sandwich idea was clearly out. Their snack had taken care of the last little bit of that poor meatloaf. I felt bad. I really liked meatloaf sandwiches and I hadn't gotten any. I was going to have to start making bigger meatloaves. Of course if the boys hadn't had a few meatloaf sandwiches just before bed last night, the picture might have been different. Oh well, pork roast sandwiches are good. While the school cafeteria was better than some, I still liked to take my own lunch. I put the boys to work, preparing things for dinner. We laughed and joked around and they even learned a few things about cooking. Maybe someday they would be able to cook enough to survive. It had been a real shock when I got to college and didn't have Mom to cook for me. I hoped the boys would be better able to handle that experience by the time it came around. When the dinner preparations were under control, the boys jumped on their bikes and headed for the school grounds for a pick up game of basketball. I yelled at them to be home before dark and started getting all my lesson plans and grading caught up. Things went better than I thought they would and everything was done before the boys got home. They were hot and sweaty and headed for the showers. I was thrilled that Corey's limp was almost un-noticeable. Since he had started playing ball and getting a lot more exercise, it was really improving. The fact that improvement was happening so quickly was almost unbelievable. He was still doing his stretching exercises but the last few weeks had made a noticeable improvement in the way he walked and ran. Clean boys started showing up and it wasn't long until dinner was ready. It was nice to have just the four boys and myself. Both Larry's and Billy's mothers had the day off. That meant that they would eat at home. Lee was becoming a lot more open and joined in the teasing and joking we were doing. There was lots of giggling and wisecracks floating around and everyone really enjoyed themselves. Now if I could just get Rob and Chuck out of the house, maybe things would be all right. The boys were watching some dumb program and I didn't have anything I needed to do so I booted up the computer and finished up my e-mail. About then, Rob and Chuck got home. They told me they were going to have a quick bite to eat and then go look at a house they had heard about. Mr. Downie had over-heard them talking and suggested they get in touch with a friend of his and maybe rent a house that friend had. They had and were going to look at it tonight. After learning that, I started surfing the web. I hadn't had much time to do that lately. In the back of my mind was still the need to finish "The Talk" with the boys. I didn't set out to look up anything but just settled back and started surfing. The next thing I knew I was reading about hepatitis. You know how it is? You start reading something and then following links. A few links later you are reading about something that isn't even close to what you started on. A couple of sites later I suddenly realized something. Statistics said gays had a higher incidence of it. Not only that, the reason appeared to be the result of certain sexual practices. I got the boys to come into the computer room just as Rob and Chuck were leaving and started showing them what I'd found. It appeared that not keeping clean and especially rimming were dangerous. The boys were chattering away and giggling some about what they were reading when they got to the part about rimming. "Jeez, you mean we can't do that anymore? I liked it," Corey turned to me and blurted out. I wanted to fall through the floor. We'd only done that once. Of course the other boys were instantly all eyeballs and ears. About then Corey realized what he had said and turned almost as red as I was. It showed up on him better because of his fair complexion. There were three boys with their mouths open and Corey and I were in melt-down. I couldn't even begin to say anything. In fact I was having a hard time even breathing. "Oh shit." Corey was trying to figure out what to say and those words just escaped him. I knew just how he felt. "Looks like shit is the problem," LT giggled. "At least that's what those studies say. "Gross." JJ didn't have much to say and that one word was his contribution. The way he said it spoke volumes. I was still trying to get myself together enough to say something when Lee started giggling. Then he giggled harder. LT joined him and then JJ started giggling also. Soon all three were rolling on the floor, laughing. LT was still laughing like a hyena when he left to relieve himself, telling us if he didn't he was going to pee his pants. He couldn't even walk very well. He had to keep stopping and lean against the wall while laughing some more. Every time JJ and Lee would start to slow down, one of them would point at either Corey or me and it would start all over. I finally pulled my shattered psyche together enough to say something. "If anyone ever says anything about this I'll kill him." Of course that brought more laughter but they didn't know just how close to the truth that statement was. All of a sudden JJ got it. He realized just how upset I was. I couldn't help myself. I was shaking and I just wanted to die. It didn't take him long to communicate his worries to the others. Corey wouldn't look at me and I was so upset there was no way I could begin to talk to anyone. I felt like I would be physically ill. I headed for the bathroom just in case. I did a lot of swallowing before my stomach calmed down. I was trembling by the time that happened. To be continued... Those wishing to check for health risks regarding hepatitis can run a Google search for something like Hepatitis+gay. Believe me, you will get all kinds of hits. This one gets right to the point. http://www.glma.org/hepatitis/whatis.shtml There are lots of others that also do a good job of explaining the risks. Please, practice safe sex. After all, I need every reader I can get.