Date: Sat, 13 Jan 2024 02:05:51 +0000
From: Lizard69 <69lizard69@pm.me>
Subject: It's Complicated   short complete

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It's Complicated  (Mm, reluctant)
Lizard69

	I stood at the rail of the deck looking out across the lake.  It
was isolated, not very large, and this early in the season most of the
cottages were deserted.  With the exception of Randy I didn't know anyone
there.  He'd been enough of an asshole on the drive that we were sort of
giving each other some distance.  While everyone there was drinking, some
of us had to be a little more discrete than others.  Randy was well below
legal age and I was a couple years younger.  It hadn't stopped me from
spiking the soft drink in my hand with enough rum to cut the sugar.  I was
still alert enough to catch the footsteps coming up behind me but relaxed
enough I didn't jump when he draped his arm across my shoulders.

	"Randy tells me you party."

	"Randy talks too much."

	"Oh.  Uh.  I notice you didn't call bullshit.  So?"

	"It's complicated.  Let me guess, you loaned him some money, or
gave him a deal on something he wanted, maybe just did him a favor.  It
doesn't matter if it's ten thousand or ten cents.  I don't need to know.
It's not my problem.  Now it's payback time and he's coming up short."

	"Guess you know him pretty well."

	"Yeah, well, whatever deal you had with him is with him.  I don't
cover his debts."

	His arm went away and the rest of him would soon follow.

	"Sorry.  My mistake."

	"Don't be... sorry I mean.  This is where it starts getting
complicated."

	"Complicated?  How?"

	"Randy and I have this thing.  It's a little too serious to call it
a game but not really an arrangement or agreement.  It's sort of like a
role play kind of thing."

	"This is starting to get interesting."

	"Yeah, well, I don't know if you can keep a secret.  Remember that
if word gets out it will mess things up for people who might get mad enough
to mess up the guy who didn't know when to shut up.  Understand me?"

	"Yeah, if everybody finds out, nobody has any more fun.  What sort
of fun are we talking about?"

	"Randy isn't my only friend or even my best.  He's still the one I
spend the most time with, maybe too much time.  When that happens he starts
being more of a dickhead than usual.  Then I get more than usually bitchy
about it.  Eventually we both back off and give the other guy some room.
By that time though, he's about ready to bitch slap me if he didn't know
damn well it would be his last mistake."

	"Damn!  You guys might as well be married."

	"Yeah?  That's where the role play starts.  If we were queer, or I
was a girl, we could either do make up sex or one of us, maybe both, could
hook up with somebody else for a spite fuck."

	"If you were queer..."

	"Instead of being a perverted little creep you wouldn't leave alone
with your dog if she was in heat.  Most of the time I'm so damn horny that
if the right girl said the right things to me I'd probably cum in my
pants."

	"That's called adolescence.  Everybody has to live through it at
least once in their life."

	"That doesn't make it pass any faster.  I'm also a fan of horror
movies.  Mostly the ones where some hot looking girl is running from the
creep in a skimpy swimsuit or nightgown."

	"You sound like a normal teen boy so far."

	"You know how you watch her wander into danger without a clue?
Like you want to bend her over and fuck some sense into her?  One day I
tried to imagine being that dumb.  Then it hit me.  What if the creep was
trying to kill her because he doesn't fuck girls?  What if he wasn't trying
to kill me, at least not until he had his fun first?"

	"You sure you're not gay?"

	"Yeah, the idea of getting raped by some creep is like, eewww.
It's horror movie shit, for sure.  The thing is, it's a different kind of
scare.  There is this almost physical sensation, like something cold and
slimy is trying to crawl up my ass.  It's totally weird.  The creepiest,
most perverted thing I can imagine also gives me a hardon that could drive
nails."

	"Ok, I gotta admit that is getting into some strange territory.
I'm curious how it went from fantasy to real life."

	"Randy and I were hanging with a friend of his, Leonard.  Not
Lenny, Leonard.  You know, that kind of guy.  Adults don't like him because
he never grew up.  Teens think he's a dork but hang with him because he's
old enough to buy beer.  We weren't there fifteen minutes when Randy's
phone rang.  Some sort of family emergency, no time to drop me anywhere,
he'd be back in an hour or three.  I could either wait or find my own way
home.  I was following him to the door, ready to give him some crap for
stranding me, when Leonard grabbed me from behind."

***

 	The door was still closing behind Randy when Leonard pinned my arms
as his free hand covered my mouth.  I stood there for a minute, unsure of
what was going on, making some half serious attempts to pull loose.  The
realization that I was going to need some help arrived just as Randy
started his car and drove off.  No help from that direction.  The next
thing to hit me was how something completely unexpected could be no
surprise at all.  Before I could get frantic, I heard Leonard telling me to
hold still and listen like my life depended on it.

	"I'm going to fuck you.  There is no way you can avoid it, nowhere
to run, no place to hide.  If I have to fight you to get what I want, I
will.  It's your choice but keep this in mind, if you're getting fucked and
change your mind it's easy enough to get beat up too.  If you're getting
the bloody snot pounded out of you and decide you would rather get fucked,
spreading your legs isn't going to make it stop hurting."

***

	"I would guess from this conversation he had his fun.  What about
you?"

	"It's complicated.  You know how it is for a girl, right?  If she's
walking home late and some creep grabs her, most of the time all she has to
do is be there.  If she's still alive when he's done, she can go to the
cops and nobody will give her a bad time about not putting up more of a
fight.  Everybody just thinks it was her bad luck to be a target."

	"Yeah, it wasn't always like that but today that's pretty much the
way it is."

	"So you know it's different for a boy?  Like we're all a bunch of
horny pervs and if anything happens we're at least partly at fault just for
being there?  And if your dick gets hard while he's doing it you might as
well have a coming out party when he's done?"

	"It's a long way from even being close to fair but I won't try to
tell you life isn't like that."

	"I don't know what I expected.  I never really thought about it,
didn't want to know.  He wasn't mean.  Once he knew I wasn't going to fight
he didn't slap me around.  Instead he...  You know how it is in movies
where a pimp cons some fresh girl into going with him?  Next thing she
knows, she's locked in a room while a parade of guys take turns?  Two days
later she's walking up to cars asking strangers if they want some, like
she's been doing it most of her life?"

	"Yeah, I've seen the movies.  They pretty it up some, streamline it
a little, but it happens in real life too."

	"Well, it was just me and Leonard.  He made me undress and jerk off
until I was hard.  Then he shoved it in my mouth, deep enough to have me
gagging and choking.  When I was about one gasp away from puking on his
shoes, he pulled out and told me to get dressed."

	"He was done?"

	"I wish!  He made me talk about it, getting naked, having a cock in
my mouth for the first time, feeling it get hard while my own dick was
stiff in my hand.  After a while he had me strip again.  This time he just
put the head in while he started greasing my ass crack.  I guess he was
trying to get it into my hole but it kept oozing past his fingers.  Then he
tossed me a roll of paper towels and told me to get dressed.  The next time
it was a finger, then two.  In between he made me talk with him about what
I did and what he was going to do next.  You understand what was going on?
He was breaking it up like he was doing it again and again.  Instead of
letting me try to think of something else or just wait for it to be over,
he was making me think about the next time."

	"Uh... How long?"

	"Hours.  It seemed longer.  Like I did it too many times to count
and it was never going to end.  When it was finally over, it didn't feel
like it was over, we were just taking a break that was lasting longer than
the others.  Randy gave me a lift home and I was taking a shower when it
hit me, a case of blue balls so bad I was down on my knees doubled over,
from all that jacking and stopping before I finished.  My throat was sore.
My ass was sore.  My knees were sore.  When I finally managed to jerk a
load off I'm not sure but I think it might have hurt less just to leave it
alone.  The next few days were hell.  I couldn't jerk off without
remembering what he did to me and I couldn't think about what he did
without needing to jerk off."

	"Yeah, once you learn how stopping for more than a day or two just
isn't an option."

	"At first it was like something inside me was trying to shrivel up
and die whenever I did it.  After a while I just felt sort of hollow.
About a month after it happened, Randy was giving me a lift into town.  He
pulled over at a bus top half a block from Leonard's place."

***

	"Why are we stopping here?"

	Randy was staring out through the windshield, starting to blush.

	"Leonard told me you aren't gay.  You're not looking for a
boyfriend.  You don't really want to do it, not enough to go looking for it
anyway.  When I told him I didn't believe it, that you're not like that, he
offered to let me watch."

	"Oh shit."

	"I'm going to let you out here, then pick up Shelly and go see a
movie.  You can take a bus and get to the Cineplex ahead of us then catch a
ride home from there.  If you don't take the first bus, I don't want to
know about it."

***

	"He drove off.  I waited for the bus a while, getting more and more
embarrassed and pissed off at Leonard.  Finally, I went over and pounded on
his door intending to rip into him for telling Randy."

	"How did he take it."

	"Not the way I expected.  He confirmed what he told Randy.  The
thing is Randy didn't tell me about the timing.  The stuff he said was all
before Randy left me there the first time.  All he did today was ask Randy
to let me know he was home and drop me at the bus stop."

	"Oh...  Fuck..."

	"Yeah, that too.  It didn't feel endless like that first afternoon
or take anywhere close to as long.  It was awkward and creepy.  I didn't
want to be fucked by some pervert and I don't think I ever will.  But it
was still closer to real sex than I was getting anywhere else.  If that
hollow feeling was there having my ass stuffed full of cock did a good job
of hiding it."

	"And afterwards?  Jerking off?"

	"It's still a thing, but not the only thing, you know.  I mean, if
I see a hot girl I can get a load off thinking about what I'd like to do
with her.  It might even have helped a little with that.  I can talk to
girls now.  They know I'm interested but it's like they need my attention
more than I need theirs."

	"So you went back for more?"

	"No, but it sort of came looking for me.  Randy and I were at this
kegger in some farmers wood lot.  We ran into Leonard and this other guy, a
little older version of Leonard.  I never got his name.  It doesn't matter.
Guys like that get older but they don't grow up they just get creepier.  We
were standing around and just about the time Leonard told Randy there was a
private deal he wanted to discuss, this other guy reached out and rested a
hand on the back of my neck."

	"Pure coincidence, right?"

	"Yeah, but I didn't think of that until later.  It wasn't rough or
intimidating but I had the feeling he wasn't going to let me pull away
without making the kind of fuss that would attract more attention than I
wanted to deal with.  Leonard and Randy went one way while this guy guided
me towards a trail away from the party.  I could still hear party noise
when he pulled me off to the side.  Maybe it was moonlight bright enough to
read large print.  Maybe it was knowing there was only a couple yards of
bushes between us and the trail.  Maybe it was being more afraid of getting
caught than getting raped.  Whatever, I wanted to get it done as quick as
possible."

	"You're saying you didn't put up much of a fight?"

	"He didn't even have to tell me to take my clothes off.  I started
out alternately sucking him and spitting on my fingers so I could reach
back to get my hole as open and wet as possible.  My free hand was
spreading my butt and I was starting to gag because instead of holding
still and letting me set the pace he was trying to fuck my face.  I was
looking up, hoping he would get the hint, but when we made eye contact, I
felt his cock surge and got ready to have my tonsils whitewashed.  Instead,
he pushed me backwards hard enough I rolled up onto my shoulders as he
dropped to his knees, hooked his arms under my legs, got a solid grip on my
waist, and shoved it deep in my ass."

	"Whoa!"

	"Yeah.  If I wasn't already wet and ready he would have ripped me
open.  As it was, spit isn't all that slippery.  I didn't scream, but only
because he finished while I was still finding out how bad it hurt.  He
dropped me, stood up, zipped up and left me laying there on a bed of rocks
and twigs.  My throat was sore.  My back hurt.  I could already tell I was
going to have bruises from his hands on my waist.  My asshole was a
throbbing knot of pain.  On top of all that I was staring at the hardon
from hell.  I'd never seen my dick that stiff.  It was twitching in time
with the pulse that hammered in my ears.  One after another small drops of
pre-cum slid down the strand that connected the swollen head to a puddle on
my stomach.

	"The thought of jerking off, right there in the open, with people
partying close enough to hear scared me half to death.  But that thing
wasn't gonna wilt on it's own fast enough to keep somebody from tripping
over me and there was no way I could get dressed without cumming in my
pants.  It felt like it wasn't me, like I was watching porn, as my fingers
wrapped around the shaft.  Before I could do more than start stroking the
first squirt caught me square in the face."

	"Oh...  Uh..."

	"Yeah, like that.  I cleaned up the best I could, got dressed and
went to find Randy.  It shouldn't surprise anybody that he was ready to
leave too, or that things were pretty quiet on the ride home.  Over the
next couple of weeks things gradually got back to normal with us.  It's
sort of a chicken or egg thing.  Like, am I bitchy about him acting like a
jerk, or is he acting like a jerk because I'm getting bitchy?  Whatever, it
seems to work out that every couple of weeks some guy will come up to me at
a party."

	"Like me?"

	"Randy seems to think it's the funniest joke ever to tell creeps
who like to fuck boys that I won't say no.  What Randy doesn't understand
is that, if I'm pretty sure saying no won't stop it, I have to let it
happen.  I can handle some perv using me to get his kicks.  Putting up a
fight and losing would fuckin' destroy me.  It's sort of messed up but
that's where my line is at."

	"So you're actually being raped?  When Randy sends some guy your
way?"

	"I wish it was that simple.  I'm not queer.  I won't say yes, but I
kind of got used to not saying no.  It's creepy and perverted.  I'd
probably want to die if the whole world found out.  But, forced pervert sex
is still sex.  I mean, it doesn't matter if everybody on earth is telling
you how great ice cream is, if all you have is mashed potatoes you don't
stop being hungry."

	"Even if somebody is pinning you down and stuffing you with mashed
potatoes?"

	"When he's done you won't be hungry for a while, right?"

	"That's kind of sad, but, you know..."

	"Yeah, I know.  If you're still interested, this is how it works.
No flirting, no public grab ass, I'll go someplace with you or meet you
there if that works better.  We're not lovers, not friends, we don't hang
out together, I'm only with you so you can fuck me."

	"Man, that's cold."

	"That's what it takes to be safe.  The whole world has to see me as
the neighborhood nice boy who would never even think of *that* stuff.  You
have to be the kind of guy who would cover my back as a friendly gesture
with no real personal interest.  One or both of us could disappear from the
party and if anybody noticed we left together it would be a random fact,
nothing suspicious."

	"Ok, I've got a place near here."

	It was a short drive further down the lake shore.  There was level
space to park a few cars between the road and the lake and a covered pier
sort of thing built out over the water.

	"I got the lot cheap because it's too small to build on and the
stretch to either side is basically swamp.  The sides and doors come almost
down to the water with chain link below to keep folks who don't mind
getting wet from walking off with stuff.  Hope you're ok with it being kind
of crude."

	"Are you kidding?  It's perfect!  Exactly the sort of place a
normal kid might go with a guy he just met to look at his boat."

	He unlocked the door and while my eyes were still adjusting from
the bright sun outside, locked it behind us.  There weren't any windows but
the roof was made from translucent panels and with the sun on the lake it
was also lit from below, so it wasn't actually dark.

	"Oh, wow.  In the movies, this is the part where the girl sees
there isn't any boat.  She knows she's gonna get fucked and wonders if
that's as bad as it will get."

	"Yeah, only there's no girl here."

	"Uh huh, but right now I have the same choices she would.  I can
cry, try to fight, but you're big enough the only question is how bad will
I get beat up before you're fucking me.  If you get too rough it will show
and people will ask questions.  I've seen your face, I can pick you out of
a line up."

	"You're not going to fight."

	"It's safer for me to do what I'm told, let you get your kicks and
learn how to deal with it later.  If the cops get involved it's not
exactly, `he said, she said', but at least some people will think I wanted
it.  Except..."

	"You're underage."

	"Not just a little bit and I look even younger.  You didn't pick up
some farm boy on the high school wrestling team, one of those guys that
started shaving at, like, ten.  I'm old enough my dick has started doing a
lot of my thinking and young enough it hasn't had much practice yet.
Sometimes a perv will be so stupid he'll get in front of a jury and try to
say a little girl was asking for it.  If you try to say that they'll take
one look at me and bury you *under* the jail."

	"So?"

	"We set it up so that doesn't happen.  This place is a nice start.
Nobody driving past is going to give it a second look.  If you're dumb
enough to run your mouth nothing on earth will keep you out of trouble.
That leaves it with me.  We both know I'm not going to fight.  We both know
that if the cops put enough pressure on me, explaining how I got here might
not be embarrassing enough to keep me quiet."

	I toed off my sneakers while fumbling with my belt buckle.  My
briefs were half way down my thighs when I started popping the buttons on
my shirt.  They landed around my ankles about the time I wet my fingertips
and began to lightly stroke my nipples.

	"So, everybody thinks you're an average guy.  You hit on cute,
young, women but you're not too creepy about it.  They don't know just how
young it can go and still get you horny.  They don't know that if you're
horny enough what she wants doesn't matter that much.  None of them would
ever guess that you can get so insanely horny that you don't even care if
it's not a girl.

	"Everybody thinks I'm the neighborhood nice boy, the last kid who
stopped going to scout meetings, the last one to start jerking off.  I got
tall so fast I'm still awkward, not into sports, not building muscle.  Half
the girls my age could beat me at arm wrestling.  They don't know about
Leonard, how what he did to me broke something inside my head.  Or maybe
all he did was show me something about myself I didn't need to know."

	He stood there staring.  I could almost feel the way his eyes
traveled, not sure if it was intentional or he kept catching himself and
pulling his gaze back up.  I didn't need to look down, my dick was so stiff
it almost hurt.  My eyes started to leak, not really crying even though a
few tears were rolling down my cheeks.

	"Men fuck me.  I'm not queer, it isn't making love or normal sex.
It's easier for me if the guy would rather be with a girl.  It doesn't
matter that I don't really have a choice because I don't actually want
one."

	I pulled my shirt open, letting it slide down my arms as I stepped
out of my briefs.  I moved closer, soon feeling the rough wood of the dock
under my knees as I freed his package from his Levis.  His cock wasn't any
longer than my own, maybe half again as thick.  Looking up at him I cupped
his balls in one hand while lightly stroking him with the other, not so
much jerking him off as getting a feel for the size, the heft, of his tool.

	"You can cum in my mouth, or my ass.  If you keep me here long
enough to get you primed for a second round you can do both.  You can do
whatever you like and dump me back at the party when your balls are
drained.  Or you can do... the other thing".

	"Other thing?"

	"I can't stop thinking about it and would die if everyone found
out.  It's sick, creepy, degrading and perverted.  The thing is, if a man
is fucking me, I don't want it to be *normal*.  What scares me is how
insanely horny I get thinking about the next step."

	"And that is?"

	"Being a slut, not like I do it with everybody.  There is no way I
could keep that a secret.  More like having a couple of guys, no more than
two or three, who can do anything they want to me."

	"If I understand what you seem to be saying, I can maybe get my
name on the short list?  What do I have to do?"

	"Mostly what you would do anyway.  The big one is keeping the fact
that there is a list completely secret.  The other is accepting that I get
to set the line up.  Sometimes that will mean you don't get any because
it's already date night for somebody else, unless we can all get on board
with me being double teamed.  Eventually it will mean getting dropped to
make room for somebody new."

	"That's it?  No down side other than what I'd have to deal with
anyway?  Count me in!"

	"Ok, I'll give you my number.  When you call wanting to fuck, start
talking about a book hold at the library.  That will give me an excuse to
take off for an hour or two.  It feels like I'm starting already.  You're
not just the next one, you have a playground pass."

	I felt his erection firming up, getting both longer and thicker in
my hand.

	"Oh, wow, you're a grower too!  Some guys, it's like a snake that's
sleeping or awake.  When I step out of a cold shower all I've got is an
acorn, by the time I come I'm average.  If a guy is in me, and starts
hitting the right spot, it's like pumping up an inflatable toy.  It never
lasted that long but if it did I think I would get to a point where I'm
watching it cum hands free."

	Lifting his cock I slowly ran my tongue up the underside, pausing
at that sweet spot below the tip, watching his expression as I lapped up
the drop of pre-cum that had oozed from the head.

	"When I started jerking off it was something new and instantly
better that using it to write my name in the snow.  Leonard, proved that I
could take a cock in my ass.  Later that other guy made me understand that
it's not just for crapping anymore.  Now it's a sex hole.  Using my mouth
to make you cum is up another level, in more ways than one."

	I still wasn't actually sucking, mostly rubbing my face and lips
against it, stopping now and then to swirl my tongue around the head,
mopping up pre-cum.

	"I'm already naked.  I can't stop you from shoving it in my mouth
or up my ass if you want to.  This is special, trying to do something
really nice for you.  The next time you see me, you'll remember how I
looked naked, but you'll be able to see my bare face.  I'll know you're
thinking about me pleasuring you with my mouth, watching your reaction to
the things I'm doing with my lips and tongue."

	I felt his cock twitch as he listened to me talk and started trying
to get it as wet as possible, spit slippery, wiping the drool off my chin
and transferring the wetness to my asshole.  When I felt him starting to
thrust I rolled onto my back, pulled my knees up and spread for him.

	"What's your name?"

	"Uh, Ron."

	"I'm Alex and this is the very first time I've ever actually asked
some guy to have sex with me.  Not just get your rocks off, to *have* me,
like you're with a girl who will do anything you want."

	That was all the invitation he needed.  He was on me, pushing the
head of his cock against my asshole and...  It didn't want to get with the
program.  Somehow I managed to keep from clenching but Ron could see I was
really uncomfortable.

	"You want me to stop?"

	"It's ok.  Just go slow.  It's better if it isn't too easy."

	A big part of me wanted to starfish, pick a spot in the rafters to
stare at and wait for it to be over.  The other part, the part that got me
into this spot, wanted to remember every detail, like a mental porn film I
knew I'd play back over and over again.  I was looking up at Ron, watching
him have me.

	"That's it.  I can feel the head starting to open me up.  Push a
little harder.  God, I sound like such a slut!  Please don't tell anyone
how much I like it, having a man make me his bitch.  Oh!  You're in!  Stop
right there, with just the head inside.  I need a minute to get used to how
much you're stretching me."

	Oddly enough it seemed like Ron was the one having trouble with eye
contact.

	"It's kind of weird, isn't it, having me watch you?  While you're
doing this terrible thing to me?  If I was the nice kid everyone thinks I
am I'd either be fighting you or if I gave up on that pretending to be
really interested in something else while I wait for you to finish."

	"Yeah, it's a little unsettling.  Not bad, but it will take some
getting used to."

	"Uh huh, the thing is I'm not that nice kid.  Life is just easier
for me if everybody thinks I am.  I'm not queer.  I don't want to be some
homo's girlfriend.  What gets me hot is the idea of some straight guy being
so horny he doesn't care that I'm just a kid and not even a girl.  So horny
that you can't resist sliding your dick deeper into me, hoping I'm more
afraid of getting caught than I am of anything you want to do to me."

	"Uh, sorry."

	"Don't be.  I'm so far gone myself I couldn't ask you to stop if my
mom walked in on us.  Have you ever been with a boy that horny?"

	"Only the good ones."

	After he popped his load in my ass he helped me to my feet and
watched while I stood at the edge of the boathouse pier and stroked my own
load into the lake.

	"It's a good thing you can't be a fish daddy.  I can almost imagine
some poor guy pulling a mermaid out of here years from now"

	"Yeah?  Or maybe letting her go if she'll, `swallow the worm',
until he gets a load off?"

	It was pretty quiet in the car on the way back.  I was a little
embarrassed about what we just did.  Mostly overwhelmed that I'd offered to
make him a regular.  Adjusting to the idea that I wasn't a victim anymore,
that I was choosing which perverts to have sex with, that took a while.  We
traded numbers when he dropped me at the party.  It wasn't until I was
drifting off to sleep later that I wondered which of us was going to call
the other first.

The End
(for now)