Everything went just as Jaume's lawyer had foreseen. Kevin's lawyer persuaded his client to drop his charges and there was no trial. Miguel and Juan wanted to go celebrate with Jaume, but the boy really didn't feel like it. The entire story had deeply upset him.
Time, everyone knows, is a good healer. Slowly Jaume recovered his spirits and his old carefree self returned. He started to hustle again, and to earn a lot of money. But something had broken inside him, he was now more cynical than before. Of course not with his few friends, but with his clients. Anyway he succeeded in forgetting Kevin.
1981 was not only a year full of work, but also one of very good income. He didn't allow himself even a short vacation, except to rest on some weekends when he was free at the restaurant. But both at La Brasa, and for hustling, Summer, Christmas and Easter were the times of most intense work. He redid the mirrored alcove, transforming it into an octagonal room with mirrors even on the fake vaulted ceiling. They were set at right angles so that now the images multiplied to infinity like a kaleidoscope. He bought another TV set and a giant screen that he hid behind one of the mirrors in a corner, that could move aside if needed.
At the restaurant, thanks to his improved mastery of languages, his elegance and refinement and his good looks and skills; he became a head waiter. His salary increased and his schedule became more flexible, in fact it was easy to reach an agreement with the head waiter on the other shift to change his schedule.
From time to time, Jaume met Miguel and Juan. Juan, while continuing to prefer girls, liked to go at times and make love with Jaume, who always welcomed him with friendship and pleasure. They didn't meet just to have sex, but also to enjoy the pleasure of spending time together.
When, in July 1981, Miguel and Juan graduated from the University, Jaume treated them to a party at La Brasa. Alvino, joined them for supper. After eating, they all went to dance at Club 33. When they left, around 2 a.m., they went to Jaume's house. After a while Alvino asked Miguel if he wanted to make love with him. The two withdrew to the alcove.
At this point, Juan said with a sly smile to Jaume: "And us? What are we waiting for? Won't you invite me to your room?"
Jaume smiled, took his hand and guided him to his room. They made love quietly, passionately, for a long time. Juan, even if it didn't bother him, preferred not to be penetrated, so normally Jaume didn't even try. He was comfortable with the arrangement. But this time Juan insisted on being taken by his friend.
"It is a question of justice. I know that you like it, Jaume." he said.
"Can't you forget justice, at least in bed, lawyer!?" Jaume said smiling.
But he really appreciated his friend's gesture and penetrated him, being careful to give him the maximum pleasure possible. After both reached their orgasm, they lay, sated and serene, embracing each other.
Jaume asked him: "I know that you don't like being penetrated. Would you explain to me, then, why you asked me to do it again, justice apart?"
"It is true, I don't like so much feeling it inside me. But I really love looking at your expression while you take me, you penetrate me... and I have no other way to see it. It might seem strange to you, but I feel a sense of power, knowing that it is me who gives you so much pleasure. You are a really beautiful boy, Jaume. And while you make love, you become even more so. But when you take me, you become so incredibly beautiful... That's why I asked you to take me."
But... as you prefer girls, what drives you to continue to be with me? I never understood that."
"I really don't know. I just know that I feel so good with you, and that the idea of enjoying being together with you, pleases me very much. It could be that I am bisexual, who knows? But even if I can find other beautiful, or likable boys, no one else arouses me. You do, and even just thinking about you."
"Possibly... because I have been your first man?"
"Perhaps. And the only one, at least for now. If I could find a girl with your character and your skill in making love, I think I would ask her to marry me, immediately! She would be perfect."
"It's a pity I am not a girl, then?"
"Perhaps... but then, if you were a girl, you would be different from the Jaume I like so much..."
Jaume kissed him tenderly, they caressed a while until, their bodies still tied, they slowly fell asleep.
In March of 1982, Jaume finally paid the bank off.
In May, at the bar El Candil, Jaume met Patrick Lemaitre, a French man 34 years old. When Jaume saw him enter, he immediately felt fascinated. The man looked around with a self-confident air, a slight smile on his face. His eyes lingered on Jaume, who was sitting at the counter, looking up and down his body, then continued exploring the club. Then again lingering for a few seconds on Jaume. The man went to sit at a table and ordered something from the waiter. Jaume hoped he would make a move, pick him up. But even if the man often lingered with his eyes on the boy, he did nothing.
Later another customer entered. After a while the bartender gave Jaume a drink, offered by this last man. The boy accepted, lifting his glass in the direction of the man in a silent thank you . The man, with a satisfied smile, came to sit near Jaume and buttonholed him. The boy, even while talking with the man, from time to time threw glances at the French man, but in the end accepted his interlocutor's offer and took him to his place. Even while he was having sex with that man, Jaume continued to think about the French customer. He would have liked to pick him up, even if the unwritten rule was that it was the client who should take the first step.
The next day Jaume returned to El Candil, hoping to see again the handsome Frenchman, but he didn't show up. Perhaps he was just a passing tourist, Jaume thought vaguely disappointed, and didn't think about him any more.
On the following day Jaume went to the Reflejos. As he entered he looked around, and his eyes locked the Frenchman. The man was talking with the bartender, but his eyes continuously wandered back to Jaume. After a while the Frenchman approached Jaume, who was choosing a record at the jukebox.
"We met yesterday at El Candil, right?" the Frenchman asked.
"Yes, sir, but it was two days ago."
"It is a nice coincidence, meeting again here. I am happy."
"Me too... I didn't think I would see you again..."
"You are a hustler, right?"
"Yes, sir, but..."
"I'm comfortable with that, even if they say you are expensive. But they also say you are the best, here in Sitges, therefore..."
Oddly, Jaume felt he was blushing. Recomposing himself, he asked: "Will you stop here in Sitges for a long time?"
"I don't yet know. I don't have a precise schedule."
"Are you here for tourism, sir?"
"Yes and no. But don't call me sir, I'm really not that old, right?"
They talked. After a while Patrick asked him if they could go to Jaume's home to make love. Jaume was happy, he liked the man, both physically and for his merry and extroverted character. He made love to him at his best, with all his soul and art. He wanted to conquer him. At the end, the man wanted to pay. Jaume would have done it for free, he had enjoyed it so much, but he accepted the money. When Patrick was about to leave, Jaume gave him his calling card.
"I hope to see you soon. Call me."
The man took his card, looked at it, slipped it in the breast pocket of his jacket, bid him farewell with a smile and disappeared into the elevator. Jaume would have liked to embrace him, kiss him before letting him go, but stayed leaning against the door frame, his eyes staring at the down button on the elevator. Then he went back inside his home. Taking a shower, he did his usual 10 minutes of solar lamp, and went to bed. But his thoughts were fixed on Patrick, full of Patrick.
He became aware that he was becoming infatuated with this likable French tourist. But this one, at least, knew he was a hustler. Therefore, no bad surprises. And possibly, also the man felt for him something more than a sheer physical attraction... at least to judge by how he made love with him... Jaume drifted off to sleep in a deep bliss.
The following morning the telephone woke him. As soon as he recognized Patrick's voice, he felt excited and happy. The man asked him to meet again that evening and Jaume accepted at once. They met at the Trailer. They danced, chatted, danced again. Patrick was really sensual, especially when dancing. He moved in front of Jaume, looking and smiling at him, almost to underline that he was moving in that sexy way just for him. Jaume, around 1 a.m., asked the man to go home with him. By now he felt such a desire for the beautiful Frenchman, that it was becoming difficult for Jaume to resist. The Frenchman obviously wanted nothing else.
As soon as they were in the alcove of mirrors, they quickly undressed each other and literally fell into the other's arms. It was difficult to say who had the stronger desire. They started making love with speed and passion. Jaume noticed that Patrick liked to look at their images reflected in the mirrors, united and intertwined in an endless search of pleasure. The boy abandoned himself with joy to the strong emotions that the embrace was giving him. Patrick was thirty-four years old, but in bed seemed a lot younger, and not only physically, but mainly for the uninhibited and fiery way he made love. The Frenchman had a strong character and Jaume, little by little, felt the pleasure of abandoning himself to the man's cares, to his silent requests. Normally it was Jaume who took the lead, even when he seemed submissive and yielding to the client's attentions. But now the roles were reversed and being able to let himself go, was giving Jaume a weird pleasure. When at last they reached an orgasm, in a symphony of moans and whining for the really intense enjoyment, Jaume collapsed on the bed, worn out but sated like he never felt before. Patrick wanted to pay him again, then asked him if he could shower before leaving. Jaume, put on a djellabah, waiting for him in the foyer. Patrick come back wearing Jaume's bathrobe, left open in front. The boy looked at him with pleasure.
"Do you know that you are very beautiful, Patrick?"
"Look who's speaking! You are really beautiful. Why did you put that tunic on? I like to look at your wonderful naked body, so perfect and desirable."
"Rather, if you don't cover up, I feel that this time I'll pay you, just to make love with you again..."
"I would be really pleased, you know? And I would willingly pay you again, to make love again, now."
"No, Patrick, once is enough. If we did it again now, tomorrow I would have no strength left to go to work."
"But I am aroused again... look here." Patrick said.
He let the bathrobe slip away and pushed his hips forward to better show his renewed strong erection. Jaume slipped down from his armchair, kneeling in front of the man, and seized the beautiful straight member. Putting his lips on it, kissed, licked it awhile, then swallowed it all until his nose was pressed against the soft bush of the man's pubic hairs. The tip of the member inside his mouth, went beyond his uvula, and tickled his throat. Patrick emitted a moan of pleasure, then took Jaume's head between his hands, keeping it still, started to fuck the boy's mouth with vigour. Jaume whirled his tongue and sucked, while his hands caressed the small ass, the firm testicles, the flat belly and the sides of the man. After awhile Patrick pushed the boy's head away from his member and, his hands always at the sides of the boy's head, forced Jaume to stand up, then he passionately kissed the boy, deep in the mouth.
Looking straight into his eyes, he murmured with a voice slightly hoarse with lust: "You make me crazy, boy! Let me pull off those useless clothes, I want you naked. I want to fuck your nice ass, here, standing."
Jaume smiled and Patrick undressed him: "You can do anything you like, Patrick. I couldn't object, even if I wanted. I like you too much!"
Patrick smiled at him, made him turn and slid his rod into him. Then, holding him tight against himself, kneading his turgid genitals with one hand, and brushing the erected nipples of Jaume with the other hand, he started to take the boy again with strong thrusts and renewed energy. Jaume bent his head back, leaning on the man's shoulder. Patrick started to bite his ear, whispering words filled with passion. Jaume enjoyed the strong rod that was filling his hot channel and brushing at each push against his prostate. After they both reached a new wonderful orgasm, they hit the sofa and lying intertwined in a half embrace, relaxed.
"Who knows how many clients you have had... and how many were better than me..."
"Yes, a lot. But you... are you. I like you so much. Will you come again, tomorrow night? You can come here directly around 11:15. So we will have more time to stay together. Is that okay?"
Patrick caressed him on his chest and tightened his hold: "Sure, it is a good idea. I too like you very much."
So, they met again. And also the following night, and then again, for a full week. Patrick, each time, insisted on paying because, he said, it was not fair that Jaume refuse other clients for him.
But on the evening of May 25th, Patrick told him that the following day they couldn't meet.
"Why? Is there some problem?" Jaume asked a little sad.
"No, it is that... Well, I'm ashamed to say, but..."
"But? I care about meeting you, you know that."
"Yes, and it's the same for me, but... I cannot afford to continue to meet you every night like we have... I'm spending all my savings..."
"But, Patrick! You always insisted on paying. You know that for me it was all right without the money, don't you? You know that I make love with you because I like you, right?"
"Yes, sure. But you cannot do it for free, right? It is your work."
"I have a good job at the restaurant. So, even if you don't pay me, that doesn't give me any problems, really. Rather, I would be even happier, if you didn't pay me. To me nowadays you are a friend, a very dear friend, not a client. I like you very much, Patrick, you are special to me."
"I too like you very much. I would like to be wealthier to keep you and make you stop hustling, to have you all to myself. But for the moment, I cannot afford that, unhappily..."
Jaume smiled tenderly and embraced him: "Patrick, I want to see you again. There must not be money problems between you and me, agreed? I don't hustle with you. I make love."
"You are so dear, Jaume! I too with you, don't just have sex, but make love, believe me. I accept, because it would be too painful for me not to meet you any more. You are generous."
"No, I'm not generous, I'm an egoist. I would feel really bad not seeing you tomorrow, and the day after, and the following day. I feel too good with you. If I wasn't a hustler, I think that I could fall in love with you."
"Why, don't hustlers fall in love?"
"Yes, they do. But it is others who don't fall in love with us. Nobody falls in love with a whore, right?"
"I think it could happen. Rather, I think it would be very easy to fall in love with one like you. You really are special. And anyway, I never thought of you as a... whore, even if I paid you. You are really special for me, Jaume."
Patrick didn't tell him he was in love, but Jaume could detect a special light in the man's eyes while he was saying these last words.
They continued to meet, now even during Jaume's afternoon break. Jaume felt more and more attracted by the man, by his carefree at times roguishness, by his cheerfulness mixed with irony and a sense of humor, and also by his body, so sensual and erotic. Moreover, Patrick started to show him a thousand little kindnesses that nobody had before for him. Once he came to his home with a flower, once with some special sweet, other times with something simple, not expensive, but that was sufficient to make him understand how much the man cared for him. Everything seemed to proceed well and Jaume felt more and more serene.
But in mid June, Patrick told him with a stressed expression that he was forced to leave him. His business was not going well, and he didn't have enough money left to pay for the hotel. Jaume, who didn't want to lose him, offered to pay the hotel for him. After repeatedly insisting, the man accepted, but wanted to move into a cheaper hotel than the one where he was saying. Jaume was worried about the problems that seemed to afflict Patrick. The man was waiting for some payments, big amounts of money, but the payments didn't arrive. Jaume offered him some money to tide him over the difficult moment, and the Frenchman accepted only if Jaume considered it as a loan to settle a temporary but heavy problem.
"When everything is settled, I will be so rich that not only I can give you back all the money, but I can also bring you to live with me, so that you can stop working, and above all, hustling. You'll see!"
Then there was a second, a third loan. Jaume didn't have a problem helping the man, but now his savings were running out. So, he started to hustle again in the evenings, and he spent the afternoons with Patrick. The man, realizing how much Jaume was doing for him, was moved and finally one afternoon, told Jaume that he was no more able to live without him, and that he felt he was falling in love. Jaume felt he was in the seventh heaven. He told Patrick that he too was in love with him, and asked the man to come live there, with him, and to be patient because, as soon as Patrick received his money, he would cease to hustle. Patrick embraced the boy, happy, and moved in to his apartment.
But, at a certain point, Jaume felt that there was something odd. Patrick never asked him for anything, that was true, but now he made the boy fully maintain him. He continued to talk about huge amounts of money he had to collect, at times he did a one or two day trip, always with Jaume's money, telling him he was going to see his lawyers in France, and each time he was back without a single peseta in his pocket. Jaume started to ask himself if all the man told him was really true. He started to think that perhaps he had to set him straight. But he was afraid to offend him, and to lose him. Jaume, now was fully conscious of that, was deeply in love with Patrick and he felt (or just fooled himself?) that the man was also really in love with him.
The month of July elapsed and Jaume felt more and more insecure. Now he was hustling like before meeting Patrick. And it seemed that the fact that his boy was prostituting himself didn't give any problem to the man.
When Jaume talked about that with him, Patrick answered: "I like you as you are, Jaume. I knew even before falling in love with you what you did for a living. I knew you so, and I respect your choices. Even more now, that you do it to help me, how could I dare to reproach you?"
Jaume was somewhat baffled, he wanted a different reaction: "But, aren't you jealous knowing that I am having sex with other people, and right in the neighbouring room?"
"If you were having sex with love, sure it would be heavy for me. But you do it just for the money. As long as I remain important to you, the rest doesn't bother me."
Jaume, on impulse, was close to telling him: 'that is, now that I keep you!' but he kept silent. At least Patrick didn't fling it in his face his being a hustler as Kevin had. It wasn't that what Jaume wanted?
So, everything continued as before. And the month of September elapsed. Now Patrick had started to make explicit demands. A pair of trousers, a signed jacket, a high quality watch... And often Patrick "invited" him to elegant restaurants, of course always at Jaume's expense.
At the beginning of October, Jaume decided it was time to make things clear with the man. He brought to his attention that he always talked about when he would have the money, but he was just continuing to squander Jaume's money, and the months were passing, and the payment of millions of francs were never arriving. Now, he wanted some proof. He was tired of waiting and wasting all his money.
While he was saying all this, Jaume was afraid the man would feel offended, but he said it, all the same.
Patrick, only answered, "I see, you are tired of me. You're chucking me out."
"Patrick, I love you, I really love you. I help you more than willingly, I am not at all dismissing you. But you have to understand, you are behaving in an odd way... not as a man in love. It almost seems that you don't give a shit for my sacrifices..."
"You want me to go? All right. I can go right now, if you want." Patrick answered calmly.
Jaume had expected anything else but not such a simple, immediate, absurd conclusion. He tried to talk with Patrick, to make him understand. He invoked their love, telling him how important it was for him, and that he didn't want it spoiled over a money problem.
Patrick let him continue, then answered: "For quite some time, I've been expecting you would understand my game. It seemed to me so strange you agreed to keep me without batting an eyelid, that you continued to really believe that I would get all that money I was talking about. And you believed I could fall in love for a hustler! I didn't believe that someone so experienced as you are, could be so naive!"
With that, Patrick disappeared from his life. And also from Sitges. At first Jaume had been so amazed that he didn't feel any emotion. Nothing.
But then, a kind of dull rage took over. Not so much against the man, but against himself. He called himself an idiot. Was it possible that he, who by choice was a hustler, continued to fall in love like a helpless schoolboy? Was it possible that at twenty-three he still continued to fool himself and to hope that love existed? And even look for it?
He had to grow up, to mature, and to stop running after ghosts created by an idiotic sentimentalism. This was his third disappointment in love. He swore to himself that it was also the last one. Just sex, passion, and eroticism exists. Not love!