Date: Wed, 3 Apr 2024 12:33:04 -0400 (EDT) From: JOHN ARNETT Subject: Lances Story Chapter 11 At about 6 p.m., Matt walked through the front door. "Matt," I said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did this morning. "It was stupid. It's just that you're so gorgeous and cute, and I'm not ready yet to think about you with anyone else." I was trying to be a little humorous, although it was totally truthful. But it didn't work. I went up to him, threw my arms around his shoulders, and gave him a kiss. I smelled beer on his breath but didn't think anything about it--not yet anyway. I was a little suspicious though when he didn't respond as enthusiastically as I expected. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Oh, nothing," he said. "I mean, I apologize too . . . for getting mad . . . and for running out this morning. I shouldn't have done that." But then he looked down and slowly sat down on the couch. "OK," I said. "I know something else is wrong. What is it?" I asked him. "It's just that, well, something happened this afternoon that I need to talk to you about," he responded. Then I started to worry about the beer I smelled on his breath. "Does it have anything to do with the beer I smelled on your breath when I kissed you?" I asked, a little peeved. "Yeah," he replied, defensively. "But it's not what you think--really, Babe." "Then just what, or should I say who, the fuck is it?" I asked him. "Please, just let me explain," he said, defensively. "I can't fucking believe it, Matt!" I said, yelling. "We have a little spat, and you go out and get laid. "You couldn't even wait for two months till it's over between us. And you do this to me just one day after I offered to pay for us to take a nine-day trip to Europe for spring break. "How could you do this?" I screamed. "How could you fucking do this??" I walked to my room, slammed the door, and locked it behind me. He followed closely behind and was nearly hit in the face by the slamming door. "Babe!" he said. "I swear. "Nothing happened. It wasn't like that." "You expect me to believe that you went out in those two-sizes-too-small fucking compression shorts and that skimpy muscle shirt all day, came home with beer on your breath, and that nothing happened?" I asked him. "Fuck you!" I screamed at him through the locked bedroom door. "Lance, I swear, Baby," he pleaded with me. "Please! Listen to me. Please come out and talk to me." "FUCK YOU!!" I screamed, even louder. "I'd rather fuck YOU!" he said, trying to be funny. "I'm not in the mood for jokes, Matt. This is serious. "I'm just about to tell you, the most important person in my life, to get the fuck out, so don't fucking joke around," I said. "OK, Lance, no jokes," he responded. "I'll be serious. "In a few months you're going to be an attorney. But right now, you're about to make a judgment regarding one of the most serious issues of your life, without even listening to the facts. "After three years of legal training, do you think that's what a good attorney ought to do, whether it's in his professional OR his private life?" he said, very calmly and coolly. But then the tone of his voice changed to anger. "Now, I'm going to go out and sit on the couch and give you five fucking minutes to think that over," he said, "and if you don't come out and hear me out, I'm going to start packing. And once I start packing, it'll be too late to stop me." Then the tone changed to deep affection. "I love you, Lance, and the least I deserve is for you to hear me out." He was right, sooooo right. I was out of the room and walking toward the couch before he had made it there to sit down. "All right, Matt," I said. "I'm listening, but this had better be good." "OK, Babe," he said. "But first, please, I need a big kiss. "Please. Not because I'm afraid what I'm going to tell you will upset you or because I feel guilty. "On the contrary. I'm just upset about all that just happened and because of what happened this afternoon. Please just give me a big kiss, and then I'll tell you all about it." He had tears in his eyes, so I suspected he'd really been through something big. So, I kissed him and sat down beside him. "Thanks Babe," he said. "Well, first of all, you were right. "What I wore today did act as a, well, for want of a better term, Babe magnet. I still swear, though, that I never intended that to happen--at least not consciously. All I wanted to do was dress in something comfortable and maybe show off my buff body like I frequently do--to everyone, guys, girls, professors, and anyone else who'd look. "In any case, every gay dude in the school stared at me and drooled all day. Most of the women did, too, but since they all knew I was gay, they didn't try anything of course. No one tried anything while I was in the school library, but then when I left the building and walked outside, a guy walked up to me and introduced himself." "Who was he?" I asked. "I'll beat the shit out of him. "Everyone knows we're breaking up at the end of this school year. He could wait at least till then. "Tell me who he is. I want to know who he is!" "Relax, Babe," he said. "It wasn't like that. Just hold on. "Anyway, the dude is a second-year student. You probably don't know him. I'd seen him around checking me out a few times and smiling sheepishly at me, but he'd never talked to me before. I didn't know his name. "Like I said," Matt continued, "he came up to me right outside the building and introduced himself. He's a little guy, short, thin, a little young looking, but actually very cute. "And--now don't get upset--he's got huge hands and feet, so I did wonder what's in his pants. I mean, Dude, I AM human, you know." "OK, OK," I said. "Enough with the digressions," I said with a faint smile. "Keep going on with the story." "Anyway," he continued, "he looked at me and told me he had something very important he had to discuss with me. I told him OK and asked him what it was. He said he didn't want to discuss it there. "He said he wanted to take me to the nearby bar and buy me a beer and discuss it there. I told him I really should be getting home, but he looked down at the ground, rather dejected, and said it REALLY was important, but if I couldn't find the time, he'd understand and go. I felt like a heel, so I said OK. "When we got to the bar, he ordered us a couple of beers. We made small talk till the beers arrived. After we got them, he looked me in the eyes, then got red-faced, looked down in embarrassment, and told me he'd had a crush on me all year, from the first moment he'd seen me." "Oh, I'll be that made your cock jump," I said, pissed off. "Yeah, Bitch, it did, if you want to know the truth," he said, with a big smile on his face. "Just like you got a big fucking hard on lots of times yesterday when you were on that interview!" "I guess I deserved that," I said. "Yeah, you did," he replied. "But I shouldn't have said it. You've got a right to be upset, at least until you hear the rest." "No, it's OK," I said. "Go ahead." "Anyway," he continued, "I could see he was nervous as hell and needed some reassurance, so I took his hand. I wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. "On the one hand, I wanted to calm him down. On the other hand, I didn't want to encourage him. "In any case, I told him immediately after I took his hand that I was flattered, but I was, as I was sure he was aware, in a committed relationship with you till the end of the school year, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that. He told me, still looking down and unable to look me in the eye, that he knew that and was not trying to interfere with our relationship in any way. "So, I asked him why he was telling me about his crush. He said that he knew I'd need a new roommate starting next year and wondered whether I'd be interested in having him for a roommate and see whether we might eventually develop a relationship with each other. "I was very flattered, Lance. Even though he obviously isn't an athlete, which would of course result in a major change in the style of my sex life, he is so sweet and seemed so innocent--just the kind of man I want, need, and would love to take care of. And he obviously wants, needs, and would love to take care of me also. "Still holding his hand, I asked him to look up at me. I had tears in my eyes. "He asked me what was wrong. I told him how flattered I was, and how perfect I thought he would be for me except for one disqualifying thing: he was going to be a third-year student, and I was going to be a second-year student. "I told him that I couldn't go through another breakup at the end of next year like I was going through with you this year, and that if I started another relationship with a law student next year, it would have to be with someone who would be graduating the same time I would graduate, that is, two years from now. It would be just too painful to do otherwise." I felt like shit. I looked down so Matt couldn't see my embarrassment as he continued his story. "He got tears in his eyes too but said he understood," Matt continued. "He quickly changed the subject, and we tried to force an awkward conversation while we finished our beers. "As we left the bar and headed toward our cars, I grabbed him gently by the waist and pulled him to me, leaned down to him, and gave him a long kiss as I thanked him for turning what had started out for me as a terrible day into a sweet, poignant day. "After the kiss ended, he placed his head on my chest for a few seconds and held me tight. He seemed never to want to let me go, but finally he did. When he reached his car, he turned and silently mouthed `thank you', then got in his car and drove off. "I wanted to tell you this mainly so there were no secrets between us but also because you might hear it from someone else who might put a different spin on it. I swear it happened just the way I said it did. "It was innocent, Lance. At least I hope you see it that way because I do. "We were both hurting, and I handled it the best way I knew how. He obviously had wanted me for a long time, more than anything he could think of. "He'd finally found the courage to do something about it, and then I rejected him. It must have hurt him a lot. "As for me, I was faced with having to reject a sweet young man to whom I was very attracted, knowing I was hurting him, at a time in my life when I'm hurting too. He was volunteering to fill the void in my life there will be when you and I are no longer together in a couple of months, Babe. And all this after we'd fought this morning just before I left." It took a while for me to find something to say. Finally, I did. "Baby," I said. "I don't know what to say, except that I'm a complete idiot." "No, you're not an idiot. But I am flattered that you're jealous. It fucking turns me on, Bitch!" he said, with a slight smile on his face. "YOU'RE the bitch!" I said with a smile on my face. I told you those fucking compression shorts as well as that muscle shirt were just too much for men to keep their eyes off of you today, didn't I?" "Yeah . . . ," he admitted, sheepishly. "And I turned out to be right, didn't I?" I said, teasing him. "Yeah . . . ," he admitted again. "And just what do you think I'VE been thinking about all day?" "What?" he asked me. "Damn, Babe! I said. "Sometimes you really are a dumb jock . . . Whoops, I'm sorry." "No, you're right," he said. "That WAS dumb. Be right back," he said, as he leaped off the couch. He ran into the bedroom and brought back a tube of lube faster than he'd ever done it before. "Peel off my fucking skin-tight shorts, Bitch," he ordered me, with an evil grin on his face, "and deep-throat my stiff, fucking cock till I shoot it down your throat. "Then, I'm all yours, Babe." He was standing directly in front of me. I was still sitting on the couch. I stood up, placed one hand behind his head and pulled it down to my eagerly awaiting lips. The other hand started squeezing his huge, hard package through his shorts. His moans and groans divulged his intense satisfaction. "Not too long, Babe," he begged me hoarsely. "I don't want to cum before it gets into your mouth." "Suffer, Bitch!" I responded. "Oh, fuck. You're such a nasty, naughty tease," he said, moaning his satisfaction at the way I was handling his package. "And you love it!!" I said. "Please take off my shorts, Lance. PLEASE!!" I bent down in front of him and lowered his shorts painfully slowly. "Come on, Lance," he whined. "Go faster. I need your expert mouth. Please!" I loved it. Men who beg me for it always turn me on. But he WAS my boyfriend after all, so I didn't make him suffer--not TOO much, anyway. I pulled off the shorts and helped him out of them. He nearly tripped trying to get out of them. I laughed. He wasn't amused. Then I told him to sit on the couch and relax. I decided to give him a slow blow job awhile before I deeped him. But he couldn't wait. "Fuck, Lance," he said desperately. "Deep me! "I don't want a blow job. Just deep me!" "OK, big boy," I said. "If that's what you want, that's what you'll get." I began deeping him, slowly at first, but soon I shoved his whole 10½" deep down my throat. It didn't take long till he started bucking and shooting his entire huge load directly into my stomach. I don't know who loved it more, he, as he got off so well, or I, for giving my man such fantastic pleasure. As I withdrew, his cock was already starting to shrink. He was totally spent. "I can see you liked that, didn't you, Babe?" I asked him, smiling and giggling. "Fuck, Dude. I really needed that." "Thinking about your little slut from earlier this evening, are we then?" I asked him. "Well, maybe a little, you bitch" he said, leering at me teasingly. I laughed. "That's OK," I said."I have to admit, I've been thinking about something else all day too." "What's that, Babe?" he asked. I wasn't sure whether he was just curious, a little pissed, or both. "Hold on a sec," I said. I went into my bedroom and looked into my closet. There, in the back, was my stash of porn. Matt and I had never watched porn together. Jay and I had, but never Matt and I. I guess Matt and I were always too much in heat that it had never occurred to me to ask him whether he wanted to. In the back of the closet, I found a movie called Brazilian Holidays. I had always wondered why it was one of my favorites and had turned me on so much. After my talk with my father earlier that day, I was beginning to know why. Scene 3 was just what I wanted us to watch. I dug it out and took it back out to the living room. If you can find it, I recommend you watch it. "What's that, Babe?" he asked. "It's some porn," I said. "I didn't know you had any porn," he said. "I love porn! Why didn't you mention it before?" "Because you're so fucking horny we never seem to have any time to slow down before we start fucking," I said. "Yeah, that would be true," he said. "Not that I've ever heard you complain any." I smiled as I stuck the tape in the VCR and fast forwarded it to scene 3. I sat back down on the couch next to Matt to watch it. As the scene got going, a young, cute, solid, dark bronze Brazilian sailor, dressed in a white sailor's hat, white t-shirt, white pants, and white athletic shoes, walks up to the bar of a small café. The only other person there is an even darker bronze, diminutive employee sweeping the floor as he's cleaning up because the café has just closed. The employee is a cute boy who looks like he could be 15 or 16, although he's probably 18. He's very, very thin and dressed in a T-shirt and short pants and is bare-footed. As I watched the scene, I started to get really turned on. Who the fuck wouldn't? So, I stood up and took off all my clothes and sat back down beside Matt. Matt was still nude. I was flattered that Matt seemed unable to decide whether to look at me or at the film while I disrobed. The boy tells the sailor that they are closed, but the sailor tells him he just wants a beer. The boy reaches behind the counter and gets the sailor the beer and gives it to him. The employee then returns to his sweeping. The sailor takes his beer and walks to the floor-to-ceiling window and drinks the beer as he peers out toward the harbor. The boy soon begins sweeping near where the sailor is standing. He asks the sailor if he would like anything else. The sailor says, "What do you think?" with a big grin on his face. Matt started moaning a little. Then he reached over and grabbed my foreskin with his foreskin and thumb and started working it slowly. It felt fantastic! I reached over with my hand and did the same to him. Back on the film, the boy catches on to what the sailor means immediately but tells the sailor he fears someone might walk in and catch them. The sailor says, "It's just a blow job!" The boy approaches the sailor. They kiss. The boy drops to his knees, slowly unzips the sailor's pants, and slides them down a little to reveal a gorgeous, deep bronze-colored, flaccid, uncut cock with a prominent, thick, extended foreskin. I flinched when I saw it. It was fucking beautiful! Within just a few seconds, the sailor's cock grows hard and enormous and becomes so thick that it completely fills the boy's mouth. In fact, it appears the boy has to stretch his mouth a little to accommodate the sailor's cock. The sailor is groaning and muttering something in Portuguese. The boy is just saying "Uh huh," over and over as he looks up to the sailor with two gorgeous big brown eyes and works his foreskin like a pro. It's so fucking hot! Both Matt and I are getting extremely hard as we play with each other's foreskins. Occasionally, the boy lets the sailor's cock fall out of his mouth and then must put it back into his mouth. Whenever this happens, one gets a gorgeous view of the uncut, bronze cock that seems to get fatter and harder by the second. "Oh, fuck!" Matt said. "This is so fucking hot, Babe!" "What's turning you on the most about it, Babe?" I asked him, cagily. "I don't know," he said. "The hunky sailor, his huge dark, thick, uncut cock, the little boy's mouth, the little boy's big brown eyes, the Portuguese I can't understand. "Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck cares?" I laughed hysterically at my horny man, the man I had sucked off just minutes before whom I was now making horny again. After a few minutes, the sailor is no longer satisfied with just a blow job, so he decides he'd like to try out the boy's ass. He gets him to stand up and lean over one of the small tables. He quickly pulls down the boy's short pants to reveal an incredibly small ass with the hardest cheeks I'd even seen. The sailor's huge cock looks like its diameter is nearly as big as the width of one of the boy's cheeks--well, maybe half of one of his cheeks. The sailor attempts to enter the boy's asshole. It takes a long time to enter and even longer to get in very far. In fact, the first time he tries to enter, he can't do it. The boy's asshole pushes the sailor's cock away like it's trying to penetrate a rock. The contrast in color between the bronze color of the sailor's cock and the much darker brown of the boy's cheeks is intoxicating. The boy yelps like a little puppy the whole time he's being fucked. He squeals on EVERY thrust, not on every other thrust, as in American gay porn, which shows it's certainly fake. In Portuguese the yelps sound like "AAAAIIII" "AAAAIIII." It's such a fucking turn on to hear loud squealing in a different language constantly. It appears that the boy may well be a virgin. You can just imagine how much the thought of that turns me on. The sailor's cock can't be more than 8" to 9" x 5" to 5 ½". I can only imagine what I could do to that tight little hole with my 12½" x 7 ½". It's obvious that this fuck is not faked, either, as one can tell from other Brazilian bottoms I've seen being fucked on tape. This little bitch hurts! I was getting soooo fucking turned on. "God damn!" Matt screamed out. "I ought to kill you, you bitch, for not showing this to me before now. This is sooooo nasty fucking hot, baby." "Why now, Babe?" I asked him. "What's turning you on in the scene now?" I said, just to tease him and make him verbalize it. It turned me on to hear him talk about it. "Listen to that little bitch yelp" he said. "Fuck! "Look at how huge that cock is and how small that hole is. My God, this is sooooo fucking nasty. "What the hell are you asking me for? Can't you see?" I couldn't believe how fucking turned on he was. I just laughed hysterically at him. "What the hell is so funny?" he asked me, shouting. "You are, Babe. I love you so much. I love it when you're so turned on." The film goes on with the bitch being fucked in various other positions. At one point the sailor fucks the boy in almost an upright position. At this point, I get too turned on to let Matt continue. "Matt, you've got to stop," I moaned. "I don't want to come yet. "I've got other plans for my cock. Don't make me cum just yet." "Hmmmmm," he said. "I thought you were a professional. "I thought you could handle anything. Out of practice, bitch?" he said, chortling. "Yeah, a little, you fucker," I admitted. "I guess I've just taught you how to work a cock a little too well." "OK. I can accept that," he said, beaming with pride. "I'll stop jerking off your foreskin." "Thanks," I said, breathing a sigh of relief. Matt took his fingers off my foreskin. A few seconds later he sidled up closer to me. I turned to look at him and saw an evil grin on his face. He reached down with one hand and placed a few fingers on the head of my cock and started massaging it. He simultaneously grabbed my balls gently but firmly and started massaging them too. "Fuck, Matt!" I said. "What the hell are you doing?" "I promised not to work your foreskin," he said. "I didn't promise not to do anything else. As for exactly what I'm doing now, I'd think an expert like you would be able to figure that out fairly quickly, Babe." It did feel good--oh so fucking good. Naturally, it did. By this time, I no longer had my fingers on Matt's foreskin, but he didn't seem to mind. As the boy continues to squeal with every thrust, the sailor looks nonchalantly out over the bay as if he's fucked boys like him thousands of times before, or as if his cock is going to require quite a bit more time fucking the bitch before he's ready to cum. So, he needn't pay much attention to what's going on yet. Matt commented again on how much he was turned on. Matt's cock was so hard it looked like he hadn't cum in a week, even though I'd just sucked him totally dry just a few minutes before. He obviously didn't need my fingers on his cock to stay erect. At some point, the sailor removes his shirt as he fucks the boy, but he keeps his hat on for the entire fuck. One gets a good look at all the sailor's tattoos at certain times. The one that covers his right calf is especially attractive, and I'm not big on tattoos. The sailor never smiles. To him, fucking is serious business. That's a big turn on, too. It then occurs to me how much I'd love fucking the sailor, even if I'd have to hold or tie him down to do it. I get really turned on by revenge sex. The idea of fucking the sailor on the premise of getting back at him for "hurting" the boy turned me on, even though I would've hurt the boy much worse had it been me. I'm a real nasty bastard. I've really got no shame. And I love it! I don't know how I did it, but I managed to keep myself under control and didn't come while Matt played with my cock and balls that night. I guess I was determined to prove to Matt that I could do it. I used it as sort of a test for myself, too. It was time to control myself as in the old days. I couldn't be easy anymore. I think my bitch of a boyfriend was taking advantage of me, but I have to admit, there was a kind of a perverse pleasure in it. After the sailor and the boy both come, the sailor asks the employee for another beer. The employee smiles at him and says sure, but tells him that from then on, they are all on the house. Immediately after the scene ended, I freed myself from Matt and stood up. "Bend over the end of the couch!" I ordered Matt. He looked surprised but turned on and complied immediately. Besides, he could tell I was in no mood to argue. I started eating his ass. He was in heaven. After about five minutes, I stopped and asked Matt, "I didn't tell you to get the lube, did I?" "No, but . . ." he said. "But nothing," I said. "My tongue will have to be enough this time!" I added, as I went back to rimming him. "Fuck, Lance. FUCK!!" he said, obviously a little worried because it sounded as if I was really serious and planned not to use any lube. "When I'm ready, BIG BOY, when I'm ready," I said, laughing my ass off. I continued to eat his ass for about 10 more minutes. He groaned with satisfaction. Suddenly I stopped. "Get on the couch on all fours because I'm going in!" I ordered him. "What, with no lube?" he asked, desperately. "No lube!" I said. "Shit, Lance!" he said. I shoved it in. He yelped. "Damn, Babe," I said. "It feels like it's a virgin hole all over again! It feels fucking great!" "Maybe for you!" he replied. "What's gotten into you, Babe?" I fucked him hard for about 5 minutes. He yelped like a little puppy in the beginning. He begged me to use some lube. I just spit on my cock every once in a while, and ignored his pleas for lube. I laughed deeply as I fucked him harder than I had in a long, long time. Finally, I flipped him over onto the couch and entered him deep and hard while he was on his back. "Jesus fucking Christ, Lance! You're out of control, Babe. You haven't pounded me like this in months. "Fuck! Is this because of what happened today? I apologized for that already. Isn't that enough? "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! OK?" Suddenly I realized what was going on. I had been thinking about my Brazilian ancestor all day and imagining what my bronze-colored cock would look like while fucking a young boy, and how good it might feel in a tight ass. Now I was trying to play out such a scene with Matt. I withdrew for a second, went to the TV, and restarted the tape at the beginning of the scene we had just watched. Then I lubed up a little and went back to Matt and started fucking him like a crazed animal again. "What the hell's going on?" Matt asked. "Please just humor me, Babe," I said. "I'll explain later." The scene with the Brazilian fat cock and the tight little Brazilian asshole started. "Well, at least you're using a little lube this time," Matt said, chuckling. "Sorry about that," I said. "Now please just be quiet and watch the TV, bitch!" I growled at him. "OK, OK. Whatever you say, Babe," Matt said quickly. "Oh, fuck, Matt," I said, as I fucked him. "Just look at that gorgeous huge fat dark bronze --colored cock going in and out of that boy's tight little ass." "Yeah," he said, giggling. "Kinda kinky." As he had when we had watched it earlier, the young boy was yelping as the big cock unsuccessfully tried to find adequate space in the boy's tight asshole. Once again, it never did find all the space it really required. Nevertheless, the sailor continued to use whatever space he did find to fuck the boy all the same. "Oh, shit," I kept moaning deeply over and over. Finally, I asked Matt, "Does that bronze cock remind you of anything, Babe?" "Yeah, actually," he said. "It kinda of looks like yours, doesn't it." "Oh yeah! It really fucking does, doesn't it?" I moaned, virtually out of breath, as I fucked him deeper and deeper. "That bitch with the huge cock and I could be related," I chortled. I pushed in deeper as Matt moaned and the little bitch on the TV yelped. It turned me on when Matt moaned and yelped at the same time. I even tried to time my thrusts to match those of the sailor. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked, still in obvious discomfort. "I'll tell you in a sec. Now get ready. I'm going to cum at the exact same time my cousin up there does. "And until I do," I added, "I want you to make the same high-pitched sounds that little bitch on the TV is making, no matter how long it takes. You got that, bitch?" "OK, Babe, OK," he replied, wincing. Matt sounded a little apprehensive, but he could tell I was getting into this big time. So, he played along and squealed like a little piglet, trying to imitate exactly the sounds the boy on the tape made. I kept fucking him mercilessly. It was fucking great! He let me play out my fantasy, imagining I was my Brazilian ancestor fucking the shit out of a cute little boy with a tight little asshole. After about five minutes of fucking, I was so turned on I hardly realized what going on when suddenly I said, "Damn, Matt, how I love your fucking gorgeous ripped ass. I've ALWAYS loved it. It SOOOOO fucking turns me on!!" "You really are gone, aren't you?" Matt said laughing, in between yelps and grunts. I just groaned. Finally, after about another five minutes of deep thrusts, the sailor on the TV pulled out of the boy and started jerking off by pulling his gorgeous bronze copious foreskin back and forth over the enormous head of his gorgeous bronze cock. Soon after that, he started shooting his huge load in the boy's mouth. I did the same to Matt. It looked like he wasn't sure he was in the mood for a load just then, but he played along because he knew I wanted it. No, I NEEDED it--BAD! I collapsed when I finished. I was totally spent. Matt laughed hysterically, got up off the couch and turned off the DVD player and the TV. He went to the bathroom to get a couple of towels for us to clean up. On the way back he grabbed us a couple of beers. "OK, Babe," he said, still laughing, as he leaned down beside me, gave me a long, wet kiss, and handed me the towels and a beer. "I'm listening. What the hell was that all about?" "Thanks, Babe," I answered him. "That was great! I really needed that." "I can see that," he said. "But that doesn't answer my question." I told him all about what my father had told me about the breeding in my hometown and my Brazilian ancestor. He was amazed as I was when I first heard about it. "That breeding stuff is really messed up!" he said. "But I got to admit, you need to thank your ancestors three times a day for the rest of your life for that, Babe." "Yeah, that's what my Dad said," I told him, laughing out loud. "And as for the Brazilian ancestor," he said, "what a lucky fucking break! Your crotch is attractive because its color is about halfway between gorgeous and nasty. And since it's hung on a white dude, what a place to be, Babe!" "Yeah," I admitted, "I've got a lot to be thankful for, I guess!" "Dude!" he exclaimed. "I'd die to have what you've got. You know that." "Babe, your thick 10½" isn't anything to sneeze at," I responded. "Yeah, but every man wants more, no matter how much they've got," he replied. "We all know deep down how crazy that is, but it's human nature. You've got 12½", and you'd like to have 13" or 14". "And besides, your color contrast is a fucking magnet to men--and boys, too. It drives me crazy. Always has." "Just make sure that doesn't change for the next couple of months, Babe," I said. "Not that again," I said. "OK, OK," he said. "Let's forget it. "Let's go out and get a pizza. I want to tell you about the conversation I had today with the PIC at the law firm. You won't believe that either." We went out to our favorite pizza restaurant and had a great time. I told him about my conversation with Jim. He was incredulous. I could hardly believe it as I went through the conversation again almost line by line. "Dude!" he said. "That's some heavy stuff. "Are you sure you can deal with all that for so long. I mean, fucking 80 men and being the so-called "King of the Gym" would be a big ego trip, and you'd have no trouble pulling that off. But no friends--at least no friends you can have sex with--and no romance. That's a lot to give up for so long." "Yeah, I know," I said. "But after you and Jay, well, I don't know. I'd never find anyone . . . ." "I really don't want to hear any of that, Babe," he said, interrupting. "I don't want to think that way, and I don't think you should, either. "You may well be the greatest love of my life. It wouldn't surprise me in the least. "Then again, there's a small chance you may not be. But, Babe, I just can't spend the rest of my life alone. Even if the next guy, and the next, and the next, even if they are all only 10% of what you are, I've got to have love in my life." "I know, Matt," I said. "But you and I are a lot different. "Please don't take any offense when you hear what I'm about to say because I don't mean any. I love you very, very much. "You know that. I'm just stating the way it is. "You need to be with someone much more than I do. You can't be alone. "You need to have someone to care for, and you need to have someone who needs you to care for them. But I'm not as needy a person as you are. "That does not mean, however, that I don't need romance or love in my life. It's just that I don't need it constantly, like you do. I just don't know for how long I can do without it before I'll really need it again. "That's the question. And, unlike you, I'm not willing to settle for someone who'll give me only 10% of what you or Jay gave me. "I'm not saying it has to be 100%. But a whole lot less would not be acceptable to me. "I'd keep comparing them to you or Jay and not be satisfied with them. And that wouldn't be fair to either them or me." "So," he said, "what does this mean? Are you going to accept the offer or not?" "I'm not positive yet," I said, "but I probably will, that is, providing they meet all the additional conditions and demands you and I've just discussed that I'm going to discuss with Jim tomorrow. The minimum commitment I have to make to them is five years, i.e., on their end, seven on mine. I can't see that being a problem, given all the demands a law firm makes on a new associate's time. "By then, I'll be 30, and they may not want me to be their "King of the Gym" anymore. Beyond that, I don't know. "I'll give it a little more thought overnight. But unless you or I think of a reason why not to accept it before tomorrow, I probably will." Matt reached over the table and kissed me gently, or at least as gently as jocks tend to kiss. "It's a big move, Babe, but I know you'll make the right decision. "Just remember, whatever happens, I'll always love you, even after . . . ." His eyes began to water. He couldn't finish. "I know," I said, as my eyes began to water also. "I'll always love you, too." "Lance?" he said. "Yeah, Babe," I said. "What?" Matt hesitated. "What is it, Babe?" I said again. "You told me earlier you loved my ass, and it always turned you on, right?" he asked me. "Of course, Matt," I said, laughing. "From the first time I saw it. "Remember, I thought you were straight. If I'd known you were gay, I'd have probably jumped you, except for the fact that you're so much bigger than I am, and you'd have probably killed me," I said, laughing even harder. Matt smiled but he didn't laugh. "C'mon, Matt," I said. "You know you can ask me anything." "I've got to know, Lance," he said. "You've got to know what, Babe?" I asked him. "I've got to know how you feel about me compared to Jay, now that we've been together for this long, and we're going to be breaking up soon," he said. "I'm sorry, but I've just got to know." "Matt, I really don't want to do this," I replied. "Besides, relationships are different. It's really hard to compare them." "Lance, I'm not a child," he said. "I want to know how you feel. If you mean what you say, I mean, that you love me, then you owe it to me." "Are you sure about this?" I asked. "Are you sure you want to hear the truth no matter what it is and no matter how much it might hurt? Are you sure you can handle it and not let it ruin our last two months together?" "I'm sure, Babe," he said. "I can handle it. In fact, I don't think I could enjoy these next two months unless you tell me." "OK," I said. "I'll tell you what you want to know if you agree to two conditions." "OK," he said. "What are they?" "First," I said, "you tell me exactly and truthfully what you think and feel about me, and also, no matter how much it may hurt after what I tell you. Second, you agree that this is the last time we ever discuss any of this, especially anything about Jay. Agreed?" "OK, I agree," Matt said. "Babe," I said, "your body has always turned me on more than Jay's did. When I told you earlier this evening that your ass turns me on, I wasn't kidding. "It drives me fucking crazy. Sometimes I even daydream about it during class. "I look at it all the time when I'm around you, wherever we are. I've always loved football players' asses since I was in high school and had my first boyfriend, the quarterback of the football team, and the rest of their bodies go along with their asses. "Even before my first boyfriend, I watched football players, more than any other athletes, get dressed and undressed in the locker rooms. I watched them take showers, and I watched their asses as they ran on the football fields. "Hell, Matt, why do you think I ended up in the hospital a few months ago when you walked into the room wearing that football uniform? That ought to give you some clue." Matt's eyes lit up as he said, "WOW! You'll be getting lucky a lot during the next couple of months, Babe!!" "However, here's the hard part, Babe, the part that's not going to be easy for you to hear, but remember, you asked for it. Although Jay's body doesn't compare to yours, it was still very nice. I mean, even though he wasn't a football player, he was an athlete just the same, and a buff one. "I've told you the history between Jay and me, and you know we had a great love. I'm not going to pretend, Matt. You asked, and I'll be honest. "Jay was my greatest love, and you're a close second. Perhaps it was because Jay and I had two years together instead of just one year like you and I had. Perhaps it was because he came before you, and if I had met you first, you would have been my greatest love. "I don't know. But I won't lie to you and pretend that I love you more than I did Jay because that's not true. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, especially you." Matt looked down at the table. I knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear, but I had no idea he would take it so hard. "Matt, are you OK?" I asked after a few seconds of silence. "Sure, Babe," he said. "I asked you to be honest, and I'm glad you were." "But it's not what you wanted to hear, was it?" I asked him. "No, but it's OK," he said. "I'm OK." "Then look at me, Matt," I said. He did, but he had tears in his eyes. It suddenly occurred to me what was going on. "My God, Matt!" I said. "You've been doing everything you could to get me to love you more than Jay, haven't you?" He looked down again, and then, after a few seconds, nodded his head. "Baby, why would you do something so crazy?" I asked him. "I never gave you any reason to believe that might happen. In fact, I've been honest all along about Jay and me. Why did you do this to yourself?" "Because . . . because . . . oh, fuck it," he said. "Let's just get out of here." "OK," I said. "If it's too difficult to discuss here, we can go back to the apartment. But you've got to promise to discuss it with me there." He just kept looking at the table. "Matt? Babe? Please!," I said. "We've got to take care of this right away. OK?" "OK," he said, but I wasn't sure I was convinced. I paid the bill and drove us home. Naturally, nothing was said on the way back to the apartment. The silence was awful. When we arrived in front of the apartment building, we got out of the car and went upstairs. I took his jacket and asked Matt to sit down on the couch. I hung up the jackets and then lit a few candles. I wasn't sure that was the best thing to do under the circumstances, but I wanted to make it as nice for him as I could. He may not have been my greatest love, but I loved him right then more than anything or anyone else. I wanted to make everything as nice as I could for him. He was hurting, and I didn't know what to do. What was he going to say now? God, please, help me help him whatever he says. I got us a couple of beers, put on some easy music, and sat close to him on the couch. I gave him his beer. He took a few drinks of his beer before I spoke. "OK, Matt, please tell me what's going on," I said. "I guess it's really simple, Lance," he said. I've fallen in love with you, and I've never been in love with anyone before. I know this is and is going to remain the greatest love of my life." I jumped in much too quickly without thinking enough. "Oh, how can you be sure of that, Matt? You've got plenty of time to have more relationships. Any one or more of them could be a greater love than ours." Matt got furious and threw his bottle of beer across the room. It shattered against the wall. "Don't talk down to me, bitch!" he said. "You say you know your relationship with Jay was the greatest love of your life. I'm just as competent to know you're the greatest love of mine!!" OUCH! Did I deserve that or what? I waited awhile before I said anything. "I'm sorry, Matt," I said. "I deserved that. I can't know how you feel or tell you how you should feel. "You're absolutely right. And what's more, I can't tell you how flattered I am that you feel that way about me." "But what's almost as hard for me to accept . . . ," he continued, "I mean, Lance, I'm a jock and an extremely competitive person. Because you don't feel the same way mean about me that I do about you means that Jay has beat me. I know it may sound crazy to you, but that means I've lost, and you know how much I hate to lose." "I know, Babe," I said. "You don't know how much it hurts that I can't give this to you. You don't know how close you are to number one. "You're not even number two but sort of a one and a half. I know that doesn't help much, but it's true. It really is." "I know, Lance," he said. "I probably shouldn't have asked, but I had to know." "I know it's not much, Babe," I told him, "but there is something you should know." "What's that?" he asked. "Jay may be my first great love, but right now, you are the only man I love," I said. "I am no longer in love with Jay. "I am in love with you and only you. I love Jay and always will, just like I will love you and always will after we are not together anymore. "But for as long as we are still together, you will be the man I am in love with, and you will be the only man I am in love with. Do you understand that?" "Yeah, Babe," he said. "That does help, a little anyway. Thanks." I sat on his lap looking at his face and hugged him tighter than I had ever hugged him before and longer than I ever had before. Then I gave him the longest, softest kiss I could manage as I wiped the tears off his face with my fingers. I looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes. They were so sad. He was so vulnerable. I tried my best not to well up but failed. It was his turn to hug me. "I'm sorry, Babe," he said. "The last thing I wanted to do was upset you. "I could kill myself for starting this. You're everything to me. Absolutely everything." "Please, Matt," I said. "I know you mean well right not. But you're just making it worse. Please just hug me and don't talk." "OK," he said. "But I just have to say tell you that, well, I love you." That did it. "I'm sorry Matt," I said. "I love you, too. So much. But I've got to be alone for a while. I'm really sorry." I got up and went to my bedroom. It killed me to leave him alone, but it was just too much for me. Matt gave me a few minutes to calm down. Then I heard him taking a shower. After he toweled off, he entered my room nude. He was more beautiful than he'd ever been before. He was glorious, in fact. I can't say that I was turned on exactly, but I'd never wanted to be with him more. "Is this the body you can't get enough of?" he asked, with as big a smile on his face as he could manage. I smiled too, stood up, undressed, and started to leave the room to take a shower. As I passed him on the way out of the door, I brushed him and said, with a big grin, "Yes, that's the one. Don't take it anywhere. "I'll be back in a few minutes to claim it. It's still all mine, right, I mean, for a couple of months yet?" He bent down slightly, kissed me, and said, "You know there's no one else on earth I'd rather have it than you, Babe." If you have any comments, email me at lm51872@comcast.net. Note: the first character is a lower case "L", not the numeral "1".