Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2001 13:37:38 -0800 From: Robert Just Robert Subject: Lost in fear-Chapter Twelve Lost in Fear Chapter Twelve "Sweet Surrender" Jimmy continued to visit my bed for a week or so after that first night, and each time I managed to keep things under control. I considered asking him to stay away, but I didn't want to confuse one issue with another. I had told him he was always welcome in my bed, and I didn't want to take that away from him. I figured that eventually he would give up, but I should have never underestimated the stubborness of my little charge. He was trying every trick he knew to get me to come around to his way of thinking. I couldn't understand why it was so important to him. Was it jealousy? Did he feel that because I had given in to Joe that he was somehow being slighted? I didn't know the answer, and their was no one to consult. I felt flattered and bothered by his advance at the same time. I had begun to regret more and more my indescetion with Joe, but what was done was done. At least I had managed to avoid any repeat of the indiscretion with Joe. With my cast off, I was back in my own room and except for Jimmy's occasional visits, I managed to sleep alone. Joe acted hurt the first few times when I shunned his attentions and it was very uncomfortable to say the least. Things weren't as much fun as before now, and it hurt to know that my own weakness was the problem Of course from the boys' standpoint it was my resistance that was actually the problem and to them the answer was simple. All I had to do to fix things in their eyes was to give in to their sexual advances. All my life I had believed that children (boys) as young as Jimmy and Joe couldn't possible have any sexual desires. I was fast learning that they not only had sexual urges but that they satisfied them with each other, unashamedly. I don't know how many times they engaged in sexual activities when Joe visited, but I guessed it was probably every chance they got. I noticed little looks they gave each other and the way they leaned against each other or held hands or touched. They were careful not to do the touching around Doty or my dad, but when I was the only one in the room they felt free to express themselves. I recognized the symptoms of puppy love. I call it that because I don't believe immature boys can experience real sexual love, but they can develop deep feelings that are very important to them. Sure Jimmy loved me, and Doty and dad in that deep emotional way, but it was different. We were his family, his life line in the sea of life. Those feelings were the strongest of all and I did not doubt for an instant that he would love us always. Joe was still sweet to me even though I had shunned his sexual advances after that first time. He still called me "dad" and climbed into my lap or hugged me and I never discouraged him. I still wanted, no needed, that bond and I would have felt lost without it. I loved Joe almost as much as Jimmy. How can you measure love though, I would have done anything in my power to help Joe, just as I would Jimmy. But Jimmy was my son, and the fact that he was adopted made him no less special to me. In fact maybe it made our bond stronger. We had been matched by powers greater than our own. Thrown together to find each other and to form a bond that would change our lives forever. I still smile when I think about how lucky I am. Many men become fathers, by accident or plan, but how many can say that the forces of the universe gave them a child to love. Jimmy was my miracle and I wanted his life to be happy. I had committed my life to him and I felt he had made an equal commitment, one that came easy for him with his gentle heart. On a rare Friday night that Joe was not a visitor, Jimmy and I stayed up late and watched a movie. He was laying on the couch, his head on my lap and I was stroking his soft hair. He was purring like a kitten , drifting in and out of sleep occasionally watching a few minutes of the movie. I felt wide-awake, content to be with my boy. I loved these rare evenings when it was just the two of us and I savored each moment. I looked down at his beautiful face and my heart filled with joy and pride. It was hard to believe he was really mine. He was so perfect, so loving, everything any father could ask in a son. And still my heart ached for more. I fought back the feelings, the ones I had suppressed for so long, but they were overpowering on that night. Against my will , my hand felt his soft flesh as my eyes travelled over his slim perfect form clad only in loose boxer shorts. His smooth perfect stomach , the brown dots that were his nipples and his little innie belly button. I felt my mouth go dry as my eyes moved down and saw the outline of his boyhood pressing against his boxers. His organ was semi-erect, maybe he was dreaming of Joe. I moved on down and looked at his smooth tanned legs and his perfect feet. Here was the person that I loved above all others, my son and for a moment I saw him not just as my son but as an object of desire. I felt my inner conflict begin again, as I argued each side of a battle I was doomed to loose. I watched in awe as my hands, having a will of their own moved down and brushed Jimmy's sleeping member. His boyhood suddenly rose to it's full excited length and my hand caressed the hard spongy flesh. Suddenly Jimmy's eyes fluttered open and he smiled at me. His face was both angelic and devilish. A wicked grin formed on his face as my hand rubbed his now throbbing member. He sighed suddenly and I was helpless to stop. Somewhere in the back of my mind was the nagging fear that I was going into territory that I would regret, but I was helpless to stop. I carried Jimmy to my room and removed his boxers. I dropped my own shorts and removed my t-shirt and climbed into bed beside his sweet body. He giggled and kissed me sweetly on the lips and my fate was sealed. I had already committed to what had seemed impossible only hours before and I was determined to do it right. I kissed him back fully until he gasped for breath. I smiled at him and moved down on the bed until I was at his feet. I took each toe into my mouth, one by one and then licked his soft feet. I felt him shudder and I heard him whimper softly and satisfied with the affect I was having, I moved up to his waist. I planted a sloppy kiss on his sweet boyhood but moved up to his neck, nuzzling and kissing it as he giggled. I licked and sucked his tiny nipples, now erect, and kissed my way down to his belly button. I plunged my tongue into the deepness of his bellybutton finding the lint he had been hiding. Smiling to myself I was ready to pleasure my gentle boy. I blew on his throbbing boyhood and I felt him shudder again. He was pushing his hard dick at me and I chuckled at his urgency. I wasted no more time, swallowing his wonderful offering in one gulp. I used my tongue and lips to bring him to a level of feeling that had him moaning and moving around like someone possessed. I gently squeezed his soft boy balls and then letting his cock slip out for a moment I took them into my mouth and he lost control. "Gosh...dad.....that feels so.....good." He moaned. I smiled but made no reply as I went back to his sweet boy tool. I reached under him and he raised up to allow me to hold his soft bottom in my hands. The softness and perfectness of his little bottom gave me sudden inspiration and I let his cock slip out of my mouth and pushed his legs up allowing me to slip my tongue into his tight hole. He moaned loudly and his breath was rapid now. I kept working on his hole until my tongue was as deep as it would go. I continued until cramps forced me to pull out my aching tongue. I returned to his cock, now oozing with his sweet pre-cum. I licked off the tasty liquid and wanted more. In my mind I knew how to feed that need and I began to suck hard and fast while squeezing his soft balls. He was moving fast now, humping up to meet my hungry mouth and I knew he was close. Then with a loud grunt he began filling my mouth with his boy honey. I marveled at the taste of his bitter-sweet nectar, so uniquely him. At first I was surprised that he could produce any cum at all, and then amazed at the volume. I let him move as I held his cock in my mouth with a hard suction as he finished his orgasm with two more squirts of tasty juice. He fell back down quietly and I could feel his cock begin to soften. I held him long enough to recover every drop of his sweet boy taste then kissed his perfect boy cock and moved up beside him. He was almost trance-like as he lay in his after-glow. I held him closely, rubbing him soft stomach as he smiled over at me silently. He was still for quite some time then rolled over to face me and smiled widely. "How come you changed your mind, daddy?" He ask curiously. I shrugged, "I'm not sure." I said feeling confused and embarrassed. "I just saw you laying there tonight, so perfect and beautiful and I couldn't resist. You are....so...I love you." I said at a loss for words. He smile sweetly and kissed me deeply. "I love you too." He beamed when he broke our kiss. "Now, it's my turn." He added wickedly. I felt his small soft hand grip my throbbing cock and he began to expertly work it. I had never felt so arroused or so alive, here with the boy whom I loved and who loved me. I stoked his soft skin as he continued to give me more pleasure than I had felt in a lifetime of love-making. Then it was my time to moan in appreciation as I felt his warm wet mouth eagerly engulf my flaming rod. I felt I could cum at any moment just from the idea of having this perfect creature attending me. He had either learned how to please by practicing with Joe, or he was a natural. I decided it was a combination of both and lay back and enjoyed the ride. When I felt his other hand squeeze my balls I came almost at once, shouting out a warning that came too late. Far from being bothered by my sudden eruption, Jimmy gobbled the massive offering down greedily and when I had at last finished, he raised up smiling at me with some of my juices dribbling down his sweet chin. I pulled him into me and kissed him tasting my own love on his sweet lips. Exhausted we fell back and in each other's arms as at last I accepted my sweet surrender. Soon we slept, our bodies entwined in peacefull bliss. End of Chaper Twelve....comments?? write me at: Kewl_Dad_4@msn.com : More to come....though the end is near.