Date: Tue, 9 Oct 2001 15:49:52 -0700
From: Robert Just  Robert <Kewl_Dad_1@msn.com>
Subject: Lost in fear- Chapter six

Lost in fear
Chapter six
"Down on the farm"

	The good thing about Jimmy's folks being creeps was that the local
authorities didn't waste any time on the investigation.  To them it was a
simple domestic dispute gone bad, ending in a remorsefull husband offing
himself.  I never told anyone except Jimmy about being there that day.  I
knew I was a material witness to a murder/ suicide and that could have
complicated things immensely.  The local DA seemed satisfied at our
explanation of what had happened and how Jimmy had come to me for help.  I
told them that I had been trying to contact his parents when I had heard
about their deaths.  I also told them that Jimmy had asked me to take him
to his Granmother's and I had done so, not realizing that I should have
contacted the authorities first.
	Mr. Jacobs seemed to have a calming effect on everyone he came into
contact with.  The overworked DA agreed to overlook any misteps I had taken
since the outcome seemed to be amicable for the boy.  I breathed a silent
sigh of relief and thanked God for helping me keep my boy.
	We settled into a happy routine life on the farm. Jimmy and I were
fast learning just how much went into running a farm, even one as small as
Granny's.  But we thrived on the fresh air and quiet surroundings and when
four months later Mr. Jacobs came with the final papers to sign, I was so
happy I cried.  We still had to appear before a judge, but Mr. Jacobs said
he knew the judge personally and it was just a formality.  Perhaps in a
larger city, in another court things would have not gone so well, but here
it seemed everything was coming up roses.
	Jimmy had grown over the last few months and had filled out nicely.
No longer the shy, skinny boy that I had found wandering the street that
fateful night.  Often times we would sit out on the fence and watch the sun
set as we had done that first night and we never grew tired of the
wonderous show.  Granny was happier too these days, she loved cooking and
doting over her "men folk" as she called us.  She seemed healthier too,
perhaps having a real purpose had boosted her morale.  Things couldn't have
been going any better.  I sold my house and invested the money.  I set up a
trust fun for Jimmy's college tuition and still had a modest amount of
money to help Granny out with expenses.  Not that it was needed.  Granny
had been somewhat modest about how much money she actually had.  Leaving
those things up to Mr. Jacobs to fret about, she seldom looked at her
affairs.
	Mr. Jacobs called me into his office one day to go over some things
and it was then that I found out her true worth.  As Doty's grandson, Jimmy
stood to inherit the bulk of her estate...roughly one million dollars.
	"God, you would never have known she had a penny, the way she
acts."  I said laughing.
	"You understand that as Jimmy's legal guardian you will have full
control of his assets in the event of his grandmother's death.  At least
until he is of legal age."  Mr. Jacobs explained.
	"That complicates things a bit."  I said chewing my lip.  As you
know I have already set up a fund for Jimmy's college tuition."  I said
knowing full well that he had been the person to handle the details.
	"Yes, of course.  And that is why I am suggesting to Doty that she
leave part of her estate to you directly.  To use as you see fit, and the
remainder to go to Jimmy on his 21st birthday."
	"I don't know what to say.  I don't really need a lot of money.  I
mean sure it would be nice.  But....what does Doty say about all this?"  I
said somewhat taken back by it all.
	"She says she trusts you and if I think it is the best way to
provide for her grandson, then she is all for it.  I wanted to get your
opinion before I made any further recomendations."
	"I...don't know.  If I had access to the money, I would naturally
use it for Jimmy..and myself of course.  I'd like to keep the farm running.
And to be honest, I don't know how much that would cost.  I am sorry to
admit that as a city boy, I haven't a clue."  I laughed.
	"Exactly what I told Doty.  For years the farm has cost more to
keep running then it takes in. But she loves it there, and she would like
to think that you and Jimmy would keep the farm going when she passed on."
	"Well, I just sort of assumed we would.  But, once again I admit my
painfull ignorance."
	"Well, you have a terrific guy running the farm now, Mack, and even
though Doty has provided for him in her will, I suppose he will want to
remain on the farm as well.  He really runs the whole shybang now, so maybe
you could just let him continue.  I don't know much about farming myself,
but I trust Mack completely."
	"Yeh, he is a wonderful.  Wow, you've given me quite a lot to think
about.  I think I better go back and chew on it a spell."  I said in the
local vernacular.
	Mr. Jacobs chuckled and rose to show me out with a hearty
handshake.  "I'll be out in a few day with the papers for Doty to sign.
Take care Bob, give my best to Doty and a hug for Jimmy."
	I liked that man a lot and I respected the fact that unlike most
lawyers, he was more concerned with his clients welfare, then his own
commissions.  I vowed to keep him as my personal lawyer, to handle my
affairs in a way that no one else could.  I headed back to the farm
stopping in town long enough to pick up something for Jimmy.  I settled on
an airplane, one of those kind with the gas powered motor and a long
string.  I knew he would love it.
	Jimmy greeted me with open arms and curious eyes, knowing I always
brought him a surprise when I went into town.  When I produced the airplane
he was jumping for joy.
	"Oh, thank you, thank you..daddy."  He said hugging me and kissing
me quickly on the lips.  I felt a tingle that was almost frightening as our
lips met and I felt his soft body press against me.  I shook it off and we
went out into the pasture to fire up his plane.  We flew the airplane until
dusk forced us to give up and head inside.  Granny had a delicious home
cooked meal waiting for us and we sat down, as a family and enjoyed the
warmth of each other's company.  Jimmy and I did dishes and Granny watched
tv until she fell asleep in her chair.  I gently woke her and she headed
off to bed.  I chuckled to myself, it was only 8:30.
	Jimmy wanted to play checkers and we played four games, each
winning two.  Around 9:30 I sent him off to take a bath.  Usually he bathed
and got ready for bed then I would read him a story or sing to him till he
went to sleep.  Tonight was different.
	"Daddy, will you rub-a-dub me.  Pleassse."  He begged looking at me
with his best puppy dog face.
	I smiled and scooped him up and carried him to bathroom.  I sat him
down and he raised his arms as he had done that first night at my place,
allowing me to remove his shirt. I tugged at his pants and as they dropped
I was amused to see his little penis straining at his white briefs.  I made
no mention of it as I reached over and started filling the tub with warm
water.  He smiled at me shyly and kept standing there, waiting for me to
finish undressing him.  I tried not to stare as I tugged at his white fruit
of the looms, lowering them as his cute little boner sprang into view.  I
hadn't seen him naked in a while, and he had grown down there.  He was no
longer the skinny, bruised little boy that I had bathed that first night.
Now he was confident and happy, and from the looks of his little penis,
very excited.
	"Looks like Mr. Happy is happy."  I said pointing at his obvious
erection.
	He giggled and grabbed it playfully.  "Daddy, why does it get
hard?"  He asked innocently.
	"Oh, geez...well.  I guess you are getting old enough to know some
things, I tell you what when we finish your bath, we will have a long talk.
Okay?"  I thought I was ready for the father-son talk, although I hadn't
planned on it so soon.
	"K, daddy, rub-a-dub me first."  He said stepping into the warm
water.
	I took my time sudsing my dirty little puppy down and rinsing him
clean.  He was like putty in my hands, so comfortable with my touch, I
thought he had fallen asleep once.  I ask him to stand and I wrapped him in
a big fluffy bath towel, just like that first night.  I picked him up and
carried him off to his bed.  I helped him dry off and get into his boxers
and t-shirt.  He seemed completely relaxed as I covered him up and piled
down beside him on the bed.
	"K, daddy now talk."  He said looking over at me with his doe eyes.
	I took a deep breath before beginning.  "Well, you know about
difference between boys and girls, right?"
	"Sure, boys got penises, girls got vaginas."  He giggled.
	"Okay, good start.  And you know where babies come from, right?"  I
asked curiously.
	"Yep, from mommies tummies, out her vagina."  He said making a sour
face.
	"Good, you almost know it all then.  Now to answer you question
about why your penis gets hard.  Well, sometimes when a boy thinks about
certain things, or sometimes for no reason at all, the blood rushes to his
penis and that is what makes it hard.  It's like a sponge.  It fills with
blood and it makes it hard.  Do you understand what I mean?"
	"Sure, I know that.  I mean I know how it works, but why do I get a
boner for no reason?"  He asked frowning.
	It's because you body is changing , you are growing. Soon there
will be lots of changes in your body.  You will get hair in places you
never thought about, and your penis will get a lot bigger and you will
begin to produce sperm.  You know what that is right?"
	"Yeh, HE got it all over me."  He said looking sad for the first
time in a long time."
	"Jimmy, baby.  You have to understand that not all people are like
him, what he did was wrong.  He forced you to do things.  But, he's gone
now, he won't ever hurt you again."  I said rubbing his cheek.
	"I know....Daddy...can I tell you something and you won't get mad?"
He said looking at me strangely.
	"Anything, Bear.  I promise I won't get mad."
	"Sometimes when it gets hard, I rub it and it feels really good.
Is that bad?"  He explained looking almost scared.
	I laughed softly and the tension eased.  "No, babe.  It's natural.
Almost all boys and girls make themselves feel good like that, it's called
masturbation.  You may have heard it called jerking off or jacking off."
	"Do you do it?"  He asked shyly.
	I blushed but vowed to be honest.  "Yes, I started when I was a lot
younger than you, and I haven't ever been able to quit."  I laughed
nervously.
	"He..he.  Do you do it now?"  he asked not willing to let it rest.
	"Yeh, I do.  Now let's just drop that okay?"  I said tweeking his
cute nose.
	"K, tell me a story daddy."
	I snuggled down with my boy and began telling him a story I had
told a dozen times.  He never seemed to grow tired of it and after the
first few times had it memorized and corrected me if I went astray. In the
darkened room I could barely see his sweet face, his eyes glowing back at
me as he hung on each word.  Then I became acutely aware of some movement
from his midsection.  I saw a sort of dreamy look come over his face and I
realized he was masturbating as he lay there hidden beneath the covers.  I
kissed his cheek and whispered.  "I'll let you enjoy yourself and I'll see
you tomorrow."
	He protested for a second but was too caught up in his self
pleasure to end it.  I closed the door as he continued to work his hard
little penis with abandon.
	I went in and took a cold shower.  I kept thinking about how cute
Jimmy looked standing there with his little cock standing at attention.  I
felt so guilty, yet I couldn't control my feelings.  My hand crept to my
now engorged penis and I began masturbating under the gently spray of the
shower.  Visons of Jimmy working his own little cock flashed through my
head and I imagined us laying side by side masturbating together.
	I cried out as I shot my load hard against the shower stall.  My
knees buckled and I fell back before regaining my senses.  I bumped my head
on the towel bar and the pain brought me back to reality.  I cussed beneath
my breath..."He is your son for God's sake.  What kind of pervert are you?"
I began to weep openly.


End of Chapter six