ARCH HUNTER

Lukas - My Best Mistake

Here comes chapter 10, I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts! - archhunter420@gmail.com

Chapter 10

***

It still felt weird to be calling home. There was no going back to the relations I'd had with my parents from before I moved out. The three years of my absence changed me beyond recognition, at least in certain aspects. It wasn't deliberate, not all of it. Only now I realised why I'd needed so much to detach myself from the past. From growing up in a town that didn't tolerate anything beyond the one and only worldview that was meant to be passed down from generation to generation for centuries to come, as it has always been. In this world, I was the odd one out and my place was, well, out. Of course, staying was an option. But there was a reason why there was not a single openly homosexual person in Smalltown, male or female, old or young. The reason coming by its nickname - don't ask, don't tell. It was a philosophy that no one heard of but everyone practised more fervently than going to church every Sunday morning.

So while staying was an option, it meant living in a small condo and working as a cashier in a supermarket for the rest of my days. Not having any friends and only meeting my parents once a week for tea to chat about something safe like the weather. Politely taking my rightful place in society. But still attracting suspicious looks without a wedding ring to boast on my finger. Never looking people in their eyes. So yes, staying was an option. And I bet many chose to stay. We will never hear from them again.

For me, the world of unlimited freedom was just over 3-hours drive away and could be even less if I had chosen to live in Warsaw. But I'd chosen Big City. It wasn't as big, posh and snobby as the capital but was still big enough to host the lifestyles available to the rest of the western, civilised world. Even back in the `00s, you could be a homo, a furry or even a university male worker wearing a dress to work (true story!). Well, you still had to avoid travelling to certain districts, especially after dark, but if you were any of the above, you knew that anyway. But you could be pretty much yourself whoever you were and even if there wasn't a bar dedicated to your obscure perversion of choice, you could be sure you'd find people sharing your special secret. Even if it meant breaking the law. All lifestyles allowed.

Big City was a space where I could finally breathe, grow and thrive. I'd had a lot of emotional development to catch up. And while I'd been catching up, everyone else back in Smalltown had been frozen in time. It's not an exaggeration. After three years of living in Big City, it seemed like only three days had passed in Smalltown. And now, I needed these distant worlds to collide to fulfil my mission to make my teenage love come into my life.

So yeah, calling home still felt weird, I thought just as someone finally answered my call.

"Hello?"

"Hey mom, it's me, Matt,"

Yeah, my parents were still using an old landline and my number didn't display on their telephone. It was easy to forget about the world where every incoming call was like a random pick from a box of chocolates. Could be your son, could be police, could be a spam call, or maybe someone died. It could be anything!

"Oh hi Matt, how are you?"

"I'm fine mom, how are you?"

"Good, dad is still at work," she said.

This is what I was hoping to hear. I had nothing against talking to dad but for this little conversation, I preferred it to be with her.

"Ah, I see. Tell him I said hi. And the reason I'm calling is... well, there's news about Lukas. See, it's only something he overheard and nothing official is going on yet, but supposedly, his parents' old friends called and declared interest in... in adopting him."

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line and I caught myself holding my breath.

"Mom?"

"Uhm, oh, yes. See, we should've probably told you but we had this long talk with dad... we read about adoptions online and we decided to call the orphanage and you know, just ask around. Nothing else, Matty. We wanted to see what they would tell us."

It was my turn to be lost for words.

"Are you considering adopting Lukas?" I stuttered eventually.

"Well, we're not considering considering it, but that evening after you left, I talked to your dad and well, we decided just to see if it was possible. Before we start even thinking about actually considering it."

"And why did you tell them," I closed my eyes and supported my head with my thumb and index finger, trying to focus, "that you used to know his parents?"

"Oh, that. Your dad read online that the adoption process can be much quicker if a child knows and trusts the adopting couple..."

"Wait," I interrupted her, "are you saying dad is on board with all this?"

"I know it's not easy to believe but it was mostly his idea. I was the one full of doubts, I still am! But he insisted and did all the research. He just made me do the call. He said I had an easy-going attitude and he would lose patience if he happened to talk to a jerk."

It was unbelievable. But it didn't make me comfortable just yet. It was so improbable that I knew there was a hook. I just didn't know where it was.

"So... what else did Lukas say?" Mom asked me when I didn't say anything.

"Nothing much. He seemed excited by the prospect. He said, uhm... He said that he would be able to see me more often if he gets adopted. Own a phone and all. And well, I sort of told him to keep his hopes low but of course, I was excited for him to find a home. Now what you're telling me changes everything, I guess."

"He wasn't supposed to know, Matt. The only thing I can say is... it's not impossible. But you should see your dad. He hardly speaks about anything else since you two left."

"Ah, yes, Lukas has this effect on people," I laughed and she joined me. "So maybe... let's not tell him anything until there us, um... more development. And," I hesitated, but I had to know, "thank you for how you reacted to... us. On behalf of Lukas, thank you. I needed this but I think he needed it even more."

"No worries, Matty, you're still our son, right? And we saw how Lukas looks at you. So if anything happens... but again, it's still too early to talk about it, but if... then we would respect your friendship."

I let out a sigh of relief. This is what I wanted to know. It was so incredibly improbable... On the other hand, they were a part of the society that was ready to forgive priest child molesters and even shift the blame onto the children and their families... no, I shouldn't be so unfair. Even if my parents' motives were beyond my comprehension. I know, this is what I wanted, right? But I had been ready to be working on them for weeks, maybe months. Probably go to jail in the process. It wasn't supposed to be that easy. Well, nothing was decided yet, sure. But the fact that it was my dad who was initiating the whole thing... you must know about him that it's not easy to change his mind once he sets it on something. Arguing with him could only fortify him in his belief. That made me think that I should argue with him on the next opportunity. It would be a double win for him if it's something against my wish... But now I'm being delirious, I gotta stop overthinking.

I talked to mom for a few more minutes and said I had to go. She told me to come over next week and we could talk about it over dinner. I said I will come for sure.

***

The week passed quickly even though I didn't get a chance to see Lukas even once. But he called me once from Kamil's phone and we talked for almost an hour. I was still staying at the hotel. When he got me up to speed with the current affairs, we talked more about life in general. He was curious about my plans and how long I was staying in Warsaw. That was a good question. I still had some savings to support me for several weeks or even more but I didn't want to spend them all if not necessary. And with the newest developments - the ones I couldn't discuss with Lukas - it didn't seem necessary at all. He said he didn't hear anything more about him being adopted and I could feel him frown when he suggested it could just be a rumour. I was dying to tell him what I heard from my mom but I would rather die than feed him false expectations. We just needed to wait a while longer...

"What did you eat today?" Lukas asked me on the phone.

"I was at a Vietnamese restaurant. You wouldn't like it," I chuckled.

"And how do you know that?" Lukas pretended to be offended, "Just because I chose KFC above your cooking?"

"You can prove me wrong anytime!" I offered playfully.

"Huh, I wish. They're making it hard for me to sneak out. I'm telling you, they hired some ex-sergeant and he's a total psycho. I gotta be going soon so... but Matt! You can take me out for my birthday!"

"Well sure, but when is that?" I cursed myself for not knowing this.

"September 22th," he said.

"You'll be fourteen, right?"

"Right so. No longer a little kid," he was beaming.

"You never were a little kid to me, Lukas. But I won't lie, I can't wait until you're 15 and we can..."

"Yeah, I know," he said impatiently, "that's just a little over a year from now. Matt?"

"Lukas?"

"Why won't you come to stay with Kamil for a while?"

"That would be nice but I'm not sure if his parents would be okay with their son to have a roommate my age."

"Kamil told me they're leaving him home alone for over a week. They're flying way over to France."

"Wow. I wish my parents would leave me alone for a week when I was fifteen."

"I wish I had parents," Lukas said with a sad voice and I almost got a heart attack. I gasped and was preparing the sweetest apology I could muster, but then I heard him snort, "got ya! You know I don't care anymore. I just care about you, you know?"

"You have me, Lukas. And I do care about you. I want to care about you forever," I said, feeling his warmth radiating on me from a distance.

"You can, Matt. And Matt? I really gotta be going now but Kamil wanted to talk to you so don't hang up, okay?"

"Okay buddy, I love you."

"Love you too, byeee!"

I sighed, realising it could be days or even weeks until I hear his beautiful, breaking voice again.

"Hi there, roommate!" Kamil's voice snapped me out of my daydream.

***

I'd played hard to get but I ended up becoming Kamil's roommate for a week. I was happy to check out from the hotel and my wallet was even happier. And I could use a peaceful place to plan my next moves. It was Thursday and my mom called me to come over on Sunday to eat dinner and discuss. Yeah, she didn't say talk; she said discuss and I had a feeling it wasn't an accidental choice of words.

One more thing that concerned me was if I should be going back to Big City. I decided to wait until after I've talked to my parents and could figure out their next steps. But whether or not they decide to adopt Lukas, there was little point in me staying in Warsaw. Staying in touch with Lukas like this put us both at risk and I couldn't let it continue until he was adopted or eighteen. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine being so far from him and waiting months, maybe years for him to, hopefully, move in with my parents. Even if it's something I should do. Let the boy forget me for a while and focus on his life and school. And if he still remembers me in a couple of months from now, then, and only then, work further from there.

But after Thursday and Friday have passed, I started wishing I could just stay and live with Kamil. We were perfect roomies. We spent our evenings discovering music, talking, cooking, talking, watching movies, talking, drinking wine and then talking even more until late hours. And while I found him very physically attractive and sexy, I felt pretty safe around him. We were too great of buddies to let our sexual desire take the upper hand. It was there, sure, but there were always better or at least other things to do. I knew I was only speaking for myself. It was a stretch to assume Kamil's intentions were as pure as mine, but he was very respectful of my privacy and my relationship with Lukas. And make no mistake, if not for Lukas, I would be making love to Kamil's body and soul all day every day. I had no doubt. Someone as smart and open-minded as him would be nothing but a sex demon in bed. And, at 15, he was legal. But my brain successfully friend-zoned him and it was the sole reason I agreed that we become roommates for a while.

And honestly, why all the interest in me, all of the sudden? Back when I was a teen myself, I prayed to have a boyfriend like him every night and day. Maybe I'm only now looking and acting manly enough to be a right fit for teens looking for older friends. Teens like Kamil or Lukas. Even if I only stopped being a teen myself three years ago.

***

Sunday arrived and I was in Smalltown again. The dinner was pork goulash with mashed potatoes and sauerkraut. One of my childhood favourites. The first taste of the dish brought back memories. It almost felt like being a kid again without all the fucked up problems, most of which I'd brought onto myself.

"I won't be staying in Warsaw much longer," I told my parents after commenting on the food and current events.

"Are you going back to Big City then?" mom asked.

"Maybe, yes. That was my plan, at least until you told me what you were planning..."

"And how does that change anything?" dad interrupted. I didn't like his tone.

"Well, I was thinking," I replied, trying to regain my inner balance, "that in case you guys need assistance with anything, it could be a good idea for me to move back with you for a while. If you don't mind, that is. But of course, it depends on what you guys decide to do."

"Of course, we wouldn't mind, Matt," my mom assured me.

"And we sure could use some help with the rent," dad added. He was back to being his grumpy old self. I shouldn't approach him without Lukas by my side.

I sighed. "I didn't expect you to support me. I would pay for all expenses. And it would only be temporary. It's just something I wanted you to consider."

It was also something I knew I will regret. But if my parents decide to act on their plan, I wouldn't be left out of the equation.

"Temporary?" my dad raised his eyebrows, "and what if Lukas ends up living with us?"

"Well," I sighed again, "he would technically be your kid then, so it's up to you. But if you consider letting us... stay together," I felt a rush of heat after saying it so blatantly and openly, "I could probably rent a place nearby. And see him from time to time."

"Going back to live in Smalltown?" dad asked with surprise, "I thought you said you hated it here."

"I did but things are different now. And it wouldn't be only because of Lukas. I never intended to burn my bridges. Well, maybe I did but now I don't anymore.

My parents exchanged strange looks.

"We could live with that," my dad said, trying not to sound overly excited but his facial expression betrayed him, "and what we wanted to tell you is that by now I've almost convinced your mother..."

"I'm still having my doubts," she interrupted, "but we do think Lukas is a lovely kid and even though we only knew him for a few hours... we'd like to get to know him better."

"I read about it a lot and the adoption process is a long one," dad spoke when my mom was finished, "that's why we decided to bend the truth by introducing ourselves as old friends of Lukas's parents. But to keep this story running, we need to know more about them."

"Well, I know close to nothing," I admitted, "but I guess I can ask Lukas."

"That's what we wanted to ask you. We need to know their names at least but maybe also their jobs and where they went to school. Their photos could be useful, too. We know it may be tough. But there is something else. See, we found another way to expedite the adoption process even further.

I was already opening my mouth to back the idea until I heard the last part.

"And this is something," my mom said, confirming my fears "we will need you to help us with, too."

And they told me. It felt like there was a wrench clogged in my brain. If it meant that Lukas could come live with us sooner, I was all on board! But why did it have to be me to handle all the dirty work?

***

Thanks for reading. Lukas - My Best Mistake pt 11 is on the way. I always appreciate your emails, so let me know what you think! archhunter420@gmail.com.

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