Max’s Freudian Slip #23
Author’s notes:
Bit of a warning…this had been couched as the best day ever, but you will see, and you will know if you read 20 and 21 from Max’s Awakening, there is a bit of rather large hiccup in the evening. Everything comes out fine, but it does take away from what I had billed as a perfect day…
Apologies for taking as long as it did to get this chapter out. I had a week of being in too sour of a mood to write. Thanks again to J who has helped with editing this chapter and supplying many great ideas.
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Chapter 23 – Silver Linings
As we drove back into town, and all through our meal, my mind was focused on one thing: Max really wanted me to fuck him. “Is this real?” I thought to myself. I could hardly believe it. Yes, I was apprehensive when he first brought it up, but the more I thought about it, the hornier I got.
It didn’t take a lot mental gymnastics to convince myself it would ok, either. We’d already had two sexual encounters – if I’m going to eventually get in trouble for any of this, I might as well do it ALL while I can. Besides that, HE WANTS IT! He REALLY wants it. And if Max wants to take it all the way, we might as well, right? The vision of eating his boy pussy and then grabbing his thin muscular frame from behind and slamming him down onto my invading cock just couldn’t be pushed from my thoughts. Ok admittedly, I wasn’t really trying very hard to think of anything else. By the time I dropped Max off at the hotel lobby and headed to gas up the jeep and return it, I had leaked a sizable pool of pre-cum into my boxer briefs. As eager as Max seemed to be, I honestly figured there was a good chance we could finish the night fulfilling one of my longest fantasies, one that I thought would never come true: driving my hard cock in the ass of a hot, willing boy.
But, alas, it was not to be. But what a monumental evening it turned out to be.
For starters, Andres and his family were relaxing in the shade of the lobby when I got back and quickly shared the news that he battle of the sexes show that been rained out last night was rescheduled for tonight. Andres told me that he missed me last night, and hoped I would be there tonight. He wanted a comrade in arms to make a fool of himself alongside him on stage. As I talked with Andres, I was studying Eduardo. He wasn’t acting strangely or shying away from me at all. He seemed to show no ill affect from my short line of inspiration at breakfast. This was confirmed when Maria proceeded to tell me that Eduardo and Marcelo had desperately been looking for Max all day, missing him. I looked at Eduardo who smiled at me. So evidently Eduardo was out of his funk. That was good.
Had there been more time before the show started, I suppose we very well might have fulfilled my fantasy (and Max’s) before heading back down. But as it was, we had spent too long exploring the island and eating. We only had time to shower and briefly catch up with the people at home. I checked in with my wife while Max put in calls to his mom and Cam.
The show was the usual riot, especially the parts where audience members started donating clothes. I had chosen my underwear for the occasion carefully – something fashionable and not too revealing – i.e. black puma trunks. Max sat with Eduardo and his family and the two boys were laughing together non-stop. I was really glad to see they were friends again and that Eduardo had gotten past whatever his issues were. Max of course was taking numerous pictures of me on stage, including several in my underwear. I am sure he was sharing them with Cam, or would be. My one regret was that I wasn’t able to get pictures of Max and Eduardo. They were both sexy as hell sitting in the audience in their underwear.
After the men vs. women show, the resort was having the original activity that was planned. A band was playing in the ballroom where they had setup a dance floor. I kind of hoped Max might not want to go. I wanted to get back up to our room… for obvious reasons.
But Eduardo and his family were all going to the dance and Max wanted to tag along. I decided to enjoy myself while I was there and danced some with little Anna, Maria and even Maria’s mom. The surprise of the dance to me was that Max danced with girls – LOTS of them. As you might imagine with him being a gymnast, he was a fantastic dancer and attracted a lot of attention. The teenage girl crowd was all over him. I knew he wasn’t interested in girls in the way there were in him, but he clearly enjoyed the attention. Peter was vying for attention as well, but failing to match Max’s dance skills. At least he was trying. Eduardo was more of a spectator – hanging out with the non-dancers on the sidelines.
When the band took a short break, I headed to get a drink and noticed Max and Eduardo slip out the door alone. When the band had resumed and gotten through a couple songs, they still had not returned. Maria was scanning the room looking for them and I could tell she was beginning to get concerned. I figured they were probably just out in the lobby, talking and patching things up once and for all. I was happy they had sought out some privacy. They really did fit well together. If Max didn’t have a boyfriend in Cam, he and Eduardo would make a cute couple.
So, I told Maria I would go look for them to ease her anxiety. I checked the bar area and didn’t see them. I walked around the entire pool, only finding a young couple making out on one of the cabana beds. I ran up to the lobby to look for them and found nothing. I was just coming back down the lobby stairs when I spotted Max and Eduardo walking ahead of a security guard up from the path to the beach. I immediately had a bad feeling. I saw Max point me out to the guard.
As I approached them, the first thing I noticed was that Eduardo was distraught. He was sobbing and his chest was heaving as he stared to the ground. The guard told me he had discovered them on the beach and reminded me it was a closed area at night. I admonished Max, but also gave him a quizzical look. Things just didn’t add up. Why would Eduardo be this upset over just being on the beach? There was clearly more to this story. If it were someone other than Max and Eduardo, I might have guessed Max and Eduardo were getting high or that they had managed to get some alcohol, but that didn’t seem likely with these two. Max had a naughty side, but it didn’t likely involve drugs or alcohol. I knew there was something I was missing, but the guard offered nothing more. I honestly think he was struggling with his English.
The guard wanted to know where Eduardo’s parents were. I didn’t know exactly what was going on, but given Eduardo’s miserable state, I had a feeling it would be better if I handled it. I lied to the guard and told him that Eduardo’s parents had gone to bed. But I assured him, the best I could in my mediocre Spanish, that I would inform them in morning. He hesitated and shuffled on his feet for several seconds, but evidently decided a cup of coffee was more important than delivering Eduardo to his parents. He left us and headed towards the café.
Once he was out of earshot, I demanded to know what was really going on. Max whispered to me that he was sucking Eduardo’s cock when the guard came upon them. My first reaction was to be angry with Max. What a stupid thing to do! In addition to just getting in trouble, he could have outed his friend! I didn’t even consider that Eduardo was the one who initiated it. I knew he was too shy and reserved. It was surely Max.
I was about blow my top, but then I remembered Eduardo. Lecturing Max could wait. The important thing now was Eduardo. How scared he must be that he might be found out to be gay! What a scar it could leave on his psyche for one of his first sexual experiences to end like that. I went to Eduardo and rubbed his shoulder and gave him a gentle hug from the side. I assured him everything was going to be ok, even though that was far from a certainty. He was crying and his face was a mess. I’m sure he envisioned his life crashing down.
I knew we needed to get Eduardo someplace where he could calm down. I also needed to figure out how to deal with the entire situation, and outside in the open was not the place. I told Max to take Eduardo up to our room using the back entrance to avoid people. I would meet them there in a few minutes, after I let Eduardo’s mom know I had found them. A simple white lie about Max needing to run up to our room to change his shirt sufficed and I quickly excused myself.
On my way up to the room, I was clearly no longer pondering pounding Max’s ass. I was worried about him and Eduardo. I was hoping that maybe the security guard didn’t realize what they were up to. I needed to get the details. I had a couple other thoughts about Max. It suddenly hit me just how impulsive he was about sex. It was like he just couldn’t resist it if any sort of opportunity presented itself. Was he becoming a sex addict or something? Was I responsible for helping feed it?
I was never good with understanding the psychology of addiction, but I’d read about how some people use drugs or alcohol to avoid dealing with unpleasant emotions. I had heard of others doing the same thing with gambling, or sex, or even compulsive shopping. It made me wonder: Was Max using sex to self-medicate himself so he didn’t have to deal with his dad being in prison or his parent’s divorce? It was rather strange, now that I thought about it, that he rarely talked about his father. Even when he left to serve his sentence he didn’t seem very down.
Something else occurred to me riding up the elevator. I had been incredibly stupid to trust Max. As impulsive as he is, could he really avoid blurting out to someone what we’d done? This was the kid couldn’t keep himself from blurting out that he wanted a boyfriend at a party. This was the kid who sucked my dick while I slept without ever really asking me if it was ok. This was the kid who couldn’t even make a trip up to our empty room to suck off Eduardo. And I’ve decided to trust him with my deepest darkest secrets? A kid, he’s still just a kid! He is a beautiful, exuberant, eager kid that I love dearly, but obviously still a boy who acts like a child sometimes. Craig Peters, you are a damn fucking fool!!
***
When I got back to the room, Max was sitting Eduardo on the couch, clearly trying to comfort him. Eduardo still had his head buried in a towel on the arm of the sofa. I didn’t know if he was still crying or just hiding his head in shame. But seeing Max being compassionate did erase at least some of the frustration I had with him. I sat on the coffee table. “Ok, boys, I need to know more details so I can do some damage control. Eduardo, Max already told me that he was…. chupa tu verga… sucking your dick,” I began.
Eduardo must not have realized I knew what had happened, because he looked up at me, then over to Max and started shaking and sobbing. “Eduardo, it’s ok. I don’t care if you guys have fun like that,” I told them. Eduardo looked surprised, and confused. Max typed what I had said into the translator on his phone and showed it to Eduardo. He looked at me again, still confused.
“Eduardo, I know Max is gay. I still love him. And I like you too. I don’t judge. No juzgo.” I put a hand on Eduardo’s shoulder and gave him an affectionate shake. “Really amigo, esta bien. Esta bien. Now are you SURE the guard saw what you guys were doing?”
Eduardo immediately nodded. “Si. He say Look at the little faggots when he catch us.”
Max added more. “Yeah Craig, and on the way up he said Mexico should build a wall to keep American faggots like me out.” “So um, yeah, I’m sure he saw. Unfortunately. He kept saying all kind of mean things to Eduardo as we walked back. At least I think they were mean. Eduardo just kept getting more upset.”
“Jesus! What an ass! Is that true?” I asked. “What did he say Eduardo?”
“Yes, he make fun of me. I can’t even say them again. Was horrible. My dad is going to kill me.”
“No, he won’t Eduardo,” I replied. “I don’t plan to let him find out. I’m not going to tell your father.”
He looked up at me in disbelief. “For really mister Craig?” he asked.
“Yes, for really, Eduardo,” I said with a smile. I couldn’t help repeating his phrasing. “I don’t think the guard will tell. He doesn’t know who your parents are. And now that it’s all over, I don’t think he will bring it up, even if he figures it out. And if your dad does happen to find out, Max and I will take you home with us if we have to.” Max was busy typing my words into the translator. When Eduardo read it, I knew he really understood. He read it and smiled at me and Max.
“Yeah, we’ll hide you in our luggage,” Max joked.
“Gracias… amigos,” Eduardo said, wiping his brow. I pulled him to his feet and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a big hug, which he returned. It was a great feeling. As bad as the situation had been, there is nothing like the feeling of a boy in your arms. I knew that for that night anyway, I was a hero to Eduardo. That was the silver lining of the evening.
“Max and I will be here for you Eduardo. Even after we all go home,” I told him as I patted his back. He was finally calming down.
Max got him and Eduardo a soda from the fridge and we watched TV for a while so that his face could shake off the tell-tale signs of crying. I added Eduardo on Instagram so I could stay in touch with him and help him if I could. After a while, I suggested they get back downstairs before Eduardo’s parents came looking for him again. “Max why don’t you get Eduardo back down to his family. I told them you guys were coming up here so Max could change his shirt and to cool off. So put on something different before you go down. But come right back up. We HAVE to talk.” Max shrugged at me.
Eduardo stood and told me thank you again and we shared another hug before they left.
***
While I waited for Max to return, I thought more about Max, myself, and our relationship. Was Max just a normal horny teenager who has just discovered more sexual confidence and is getting lucky with finding boys to play with? Or did he really have a problem? How much of his behavior is MY fault? I mean I encouraged him to explore, albeit partially because I enjoyed hearing the details. Had I been inadvertently grooming him towards being sexual with me? Was I more of a bad guy here than I had realized?
I was frustrated; Frustrated with Max’s impulsiveness. Frustrated with the security guard who made it way worse for Eduardo than it needed to be. And largely frustrated with myself for getting myself into this situation. Max took longer than I expected to get back upstairs as well, so that angered me as well. Did I not tell him to come right back up?
So, while I had planned a calm talk with him when he returned, my frustrations boiled over and my anger poured out instead. Asking him “What took you so damn long?” was probably not a good way to start the conversation. It went downhill from there.
He looked at me in a bit of shock and started stammering about getting a drink or something with Eduardo. I didn’t even let him finish. “I told you to come right back up, didn’t I? After all I’ve done for you Max? Bringing you here on a vacation, the scuba diving lessons, the clothes, and all the time I’ve spent and you can’t even follow a simple request to come back up quickly! You’re acting like a spoiled brat!”
“Yeah, but… what’s the big deal?” he asked. “I wasn’t gone THAT long. We just got a drink.” I could tell he was caught off guard at my angry tone.
“I’ll tell you what the big deal is. The big deal is you don’t fucking think Max! You could have gotten arrested, or you could have gotten Eduardo outed. And why? Because you couldn’t wait to find a safe place suck his dick? It’s not just about what you want Max! You have to think. Jesus! Where the hell is the kid who was afraid to give a blow job two months ago? Now you’re sucking boys off in public for god’s sake!”
“STOP!!! Just stop!” he yelled back, his face turning red and his eyes beginning to water. “Where is the guy who told me it was ok to do stuff? Huh??” he retorted. I could tell he was getting more frustrated. “Jesus! You’re not my fucking dad!” he yelled.
His words were like a slap in the face. They stung. I felt my heart sink. I couldn’t even think of what to say. It’s hard to admit that being rejected by Max like that hurt, but it did. More than I could have imagined. “No. I’m not your dad,” I admitted after a stunned silence. “And now I’m questioning why I ever dreamed that I was,” I mumbled, as my eyes now began to tear up.
We were both silent in our respective sadness. “I’m probably to blame,” I continued. “I feel like I’ve been encouraging your sexual exploration and now I feel like it’s my fault you’re so obsessed with it. Max you can’t let your dick control your life.”
“I’m sorry Craig,” he pleaded through his sobbing. “I was just trying to do something nice for Eduardo. He’s gay and has nobody he can try stuff with. It’s like when I talked you into sucking me the other day. I knew YOU wanted to so bad. I wanted to make YOU happy.”
I calmed. “Max, it’s not WHAT you were doing, it’s the WHERE! Geez dude! I didn’t mind when you told me you guys did stuff up here, right? It’s the impulsiveness that’s the problem Max. Taking a chance of getting caught is NOT ok. You could have gotten Eduardo’s sexuality announced to his parents. Blurting out the wrong thing or not thinking could maybe get me arrested with what we’ve done. It freaks me out just to think of it. Understand?”
“Yeah. It’s not your fault,” he admitted. “I’m just stupid sometimes. I’m sorry, about yelling. About tonight. About everything. Can we just get to sleep? I won’t cause any problems the rest of the trip. Promise”
“OK Max. Goodnight!” I answered in disgust and flipped off the light. We really hadn’t had the conversation I had wanted to have, but it didn’t seem like the time to dig further. We both need to calm down. We could start the talk over tomorrow, and hopefully do it right. I crawled under the covers without even undressing.
It was uncomfortable in my clothes, but I didn’t want to get out of bed. I was waiting for Max to doze off and then I was going to slip out, use the toilet and undress. But Max wasn’t dozing off either. He doesn’t usually move much at all once he’s in bed, but he was tossing and shifting constantly. I almost had to laugh when I realized earlier I had visions of us in bed naked with my cock buried in his hot little ass, and now here we were in bed, both fully clothed and angry with each other.
After several minutes, I heard him sniffling a couple times. I didn’t say anything for a bit, but after a few more minutes of him being restless, I couldn’t take the tension any longer. I just couldn’t go to sleep with us both miserable.
“Max,” I whispered. “Are you still awake?”
“Yeah,” he muttered reluctantly.
“You know I still love you, right.”
“I know,” he answered. “I love you too Craig. And I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I said as I reached over and hugged him. He rolled over and leapt into my arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept saying as he squeezed me tight.
“You’re crying,” I said.
“Yeah, I can’t help it. I’m just so stupid,” he mumbled.
“You’re not stupid Max. You are just too young to know better I think. Teens always think they are invincible. They’re not. And when it comes to sex, it can be complicated. Just be more careful. And smarter. Please?”
“I will,” he answered and squeezed. I rubbed his back for several minutes until we both calmed. Then we broke our embrace. I know I felt better, and I hoped he did too. I headed to the restroom as Max undressed. When I returned, he had already fallen asleep.
** End of Chapter 23 **
Author’s notes:
So what do you think? Will Craig still end up fucking Max or are things too delicate now after their argument? Thanks as always for the continued feedback craigpnifty@protonmail.com