Max’s Freudian Slip #30

by J and craigpnifty@protonmail.com

Author’s Notes:

Just my regular reminder to donate to nifty!  https://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

For those of you reading Max’s version, the beginning of this chapter will seem like a bit of backtracking - as Max’s side took the story well beyond where this one starts. 

In Chapter 29 of Freudian Slip, Craig was dining with Noah’s parents and Max’s mom when they received calls from the school that Noah and Max were in trouble.  En route, Craig did his best to catch the parents up with what was going on with Max and Cam, and Noah.  This chapter picks up at school - where Craig joins his friends as they arrive to find out what happened:

Chapter 30

We rushed into the school office.  Stacy, Adam, and Lisa’s anxiety was palpable.  It was a new experience for them to ever have their kids in trouble, but it’s never happened at school.  The only one in the waiting area was Cam.  He smiled upon seeing me and offered a subtle wave.

A younger man was there, waiting for us.  He was of average height and build, had wavy strawberry blond hair, a baby face, and striking green eyes.  He looked to be about 30 years old, and while not particularly handsome, had a kind face.  He greeted Adam and Lisa and quickly led them down a hallway, presumably to wherever Noah was being sequestered.  I looked around for Max, but didn’t see him.  Stacy had done the same and looked at me and then Cam, questioningly.  “Hi Craig.  Hello Ms. Coleman,” Cam said sheepishly, shifting in his seat.  “Max is in one of the small offices,” he explained, pointing down the hallway.

The young staff member returned to address Stacy.  “Are you Max’s Mom?” he asked her, making an educated guess. 

“Yes,” she answered.

“I’ll take you to him,” he offered.

I sat down on the chair next to Cam.  “Well, this didn’t turn out well.  I should have vetoed it from the start.”

“It’s not your fault,” he answered.  “Besides, it totally worked.  We’re back together,” he added, practically beaming.  “If it wasn’t for this shithead bully that started trouble, we’d be on our way to Noah’s to celebrate.” 

“Yeah, well now you have to deal with your mom, right?” I asked.

“Yes.  Probably just need to get it over with though,” he answered, not at all confidently.  Cam was definitely trying to play it cool, but was clearly nervous.  He was rubbing his hands on his pants and his legs were bouncing, just like they were in my car when I dropped him off a couple hours ago.

“Mr. Rice?” We were interrupted by the same staff member who escorted Stacy away.  “I’m Tim Braverman, the safety and security specialist for eighth grade,” he added, offering his hand.  It made sense he would assume I was Cam’s father.

I stood.  “No.  Sorry.  I’m Craig Peters.  But I do know the Rices.  I actually know all three boys.”

“Right,” he replied.  “I remember seeing your name listed as an emergency contact for Noah and Max.  May I ask what your connection is?”

“Of course.  Noah is my next-door neighbor, and I’m Max’s...mentor, for lack of a better term.  Their parents and my wife and I were all out together when the phone calls came in.” I explained.  “How are they?  It sounds like it was a rough night.”

“Yes.  Max has had an especially tough time, but I’ve calmed him down and gotten him an ice pack,” he said, showing obvious concern.  That surprised me, as it seemed like Noah was in the most trouble.  What happened?  Max threw a punch, too?

“An ice pack?” I asked, confused.  “I didn’t realize he was in the fight.”

“He wasn’t.  But he became angry and punched the wall before I could get him to reset,” Tim explained.  Ouch.  The office only had cinder block walls.  Poor Max; he had to be stressed to do that.  I’ve never known him to strike anything. 

“Can I see him?” I requested.  Tim smiled.

He nodded towards the hallway and I followed.  We stopped just short of the first room.  “Max is still very upset,” Tim explained.  He seemed slightly hesitant.  “The assistant principal wasn’t very...open minded regarding his attractions, and said a couple things that really set him off.  He could use some support.” Tim sure seemed sympathetic and to genuinely care about Max.  For someone tasked with disciplining students, he struck me as unusually kind.  So often, the people in those roles come off as harsh and have a chip on their shoulder.  Maybe it’s power gone to their head or the cynicism of dealing with problems and the dregs of the school all the time.  Tim seemed different. 

I followed him into a small office.  Stacy and Max were just releasing a hug.  “Craig is here too?” Max asked.  His sweet, boyish voice that was usually like music to my ears seemed off.  I could tell he had been crying.  If there’s one thing I’ve seen too much of lately, it’s Max in tears.  I just wanted to hold him tight, but as much as he may have appreciated that, I didn’t suspect anyone else would understand. 

“Right here,” I answered, waving from the doorway.  “I thought your Mom might need some backup.  Plus, some of what happened tonight might be my fault.” I walked up to Max and gave him a side hug.  I could tell by the way he leaned into me that he was glad I was present.  I was about to ask him specifically what the assistant principal said to set him off when Tim stuck his head into the room.  He wanted us to join Adam, Lisa, and Noah.

***

Talk about a shit show.  The assistant principal, Mrs. Bach, was a condescending bitch.  It started calmly enough but quickly became chaotic.  She smugly asked the boys to retell the events of the night, as if they would be ashamed to admit what they had done.

It sounds like things started well enough, with Cam surprising Max as planned.  Just like Noah predicted, Max accepted Cam’s apology and the two were instantly reconciled.  Max, Cam, Noah, and many of their other friends were hanging out and dancing when a bully - some kid named Brady Jacobs, who apparently tried to pick on Max years ago, started calling the two of them ‘faggots’. 

One nice moment, however brief, was when Max showed everyone the apology card he was given.  I gave Cam some suggestions, but hadn’t seen the final product.  I thought Lisa’s ovaries were going to explode from how adorable and endearing it was.  I’m so glad she and Adam have liberal religious values and political views toward homosexuality.  Max would be crushed if they rejected him.  Likewise, Stacy seemed to think it was cute. 

However, things went south once the bully was involved.  Ashley, who apparently became Noah’s girlfriend at some point during the evening, stood up to the bully with a sarcastic slam insinuating he’d be home alone using his right hand while Max and Cam had each other.  That’s awesome, and I had to cough to stop myself from laughing.  I think I’m going to like this girl. 

Apparently, Ashley’s comment threw the kid into a rage and he went after her.  Little Spencer - all maybe 80 pounds of him - tried to play the hero and jumped on the bully’s back, only to be flung off.  After Brady tossed him aside, he threw Ashley to the ground and was looking to destroy Spencer when Noah stepped in to throw a punch. 

Ashley must have been impressed, because she pulled Noah into a prolonged kiss.  According to the AP, they were full on Frenching.  She must have inspired Cam, because soon he initiated the same with Max, whose hand apparently ended up inside of Cam’s shirt.  That...is not good in front of your entire school.

Noah’s part in this whole debacle was explained.  What remained unclear was the hostile attitude of Mrs. Bach.  Instead of laying the blame where it belongs (on Brady), she seemed hell bent on making Noah and Max wholly responsible.  The way she referred to Max and Cam was quite revealing, and it was obvious she was upset they had the audacity to be themselves.  She labeled them ‘deviants’, ‘perverts’, and ‘wicked’.  She deemed their kissing a form of sexual harassment that was corrupting all the other kids and their ‘innocence’.  Apparently, a straight couple kissing was not nearly as egregious.  In fact, she coded Max and Cam’s kissing as ‘inappropriate sexual behavior’ while Noah and Ashley’s was only ‘excessive display of affection’.

When it was revealed that the punishments for Max were greater because he was kissing a boy, I became furious.  Apparently, the crazy lady even made a comment comparing Max to his incarcerated father, equating Cam and Max being gay to his father molesting little girls.  Stacy and I lost it.  That’s so fucked up.

Evidently, Ashley received three days of in-school suspension for making out with Noah, but Max was given five days OUT, while the bully was given nothing!  It was insane.  Bach tried to say there were aggravating factors, such as Max facilitating Cam’s trespass, but I assured everyone he knew nothing about the plan.  I called her out for being a homophobe and threatened to call an attorney, the press, and the superintendent to let them know how poorly and unfairly she was treating Max - a kid who has never done anything to get in trouble before - simply because of his sexual orientation.

I guess after she made her homophobic comments, and invoked his father, Max had a complete meltdown and told the AP she was so mean because she was jealous he gets more dick than her, and she was a sadistic hypocrite for saying he was a ‘deviant’ and ‘pervert’ when she gets off by humiliating kids.

Holy shit.  That’s so rude…but also hilarious.  I was both proud and horrified that he was so simultaneously brutal and clever.  I’ve never known Max to be so assertive or disrespectful, so he must have been really upset.  He seemed very embarrassed and contrite by the time we arrived.

Principal Johnson finally stepped in, realizing what a nightmare Bach was creating for the school and what the optics were.  He seemed very interested in a screenshot of a social media post Brady made about being back on ‘Fag Patrol’ Monday morning.  The principal explained Brady must be confused, because they just let him leave quickly so he could get an x-ray, but assured us he would also be receiving consequences.  I guess they thought Noah may have broken his nose.  Is it bad I’m not upset about that?

The principal said they needed to review all consequences assigned and strongly hinted Noah wouldn’t be suspended for nine days and Max may not be at all, but he wanted to reconvene Monday morning.

***

As we were leaving, Bob and Jeanine were standing by Cam.  Bob looked very handsome in his navy suit, his hand on Cam’s shoulder.  Jeanine, however, looked like she was going to be ill.

As soon as Cam and Max saw each other, they ran to embrace one another, and shared a moment.  The AP started to freak out, but Tim told her to get a grip.  The most shocking part was Bach and Jeanine seemed to be friends.  How fitting. 

The boys hugging startled Jeanine into action, because she began to hassle Cam for being affectionate with Max, as innocent as it was.  Bob told her to knock it off, but I worry about how he’s going to deal with her and how that will affect Cam.  The poor boy has already been stressed about thinking his homosexuality will cause his parents to divorce and that he’ll be moved back to the Bible Belt.

As Cam passed me, I gave him a reassuring pat on the back.  Bob, bringing up the rear, stopped next to me and whispered.  “This is going to be a long fucking night.  Say a little prayer for me,” he said with a pained smile.  “I’ll try to call you tomorrow.  Give Noah and Max my regards.” I considered warning Bob that Bach was horrible, but he probably already figured that out by virtue of her being friends with Jeanine.  If not, he’d understand soon enough.

As we walked to the parking lot, Stacy seemed lost in thought.  Max and Noah were a few feet ahead of us, clearly comparing notes.

“I know I suggested we all go out tonight, but had no idea we’d end up at the school with suspended kids.  I'm sure this isn’t how you wanted to spend your Friday night,” Lisa said.  I wasn’t sure if she was joking or being wistful.  “When I woke up this morning, I thought Noah was just starting to notice girls and always assumed Max was straight.  Now, Noah has a girlfriend he’s already making out with and Max has had a boyfriend for months.  How could I be so oblivious?”

I squeezed her arm.  “I know they’ll always seem like children to us, but they’re growing up.  Noah will always be your baby, but he and Max aren’t so little anymore, you know?  Their days of making fart jokes, playing with slime, trading Pokémon cards, and having Nerf wars are in the past.” 

Always viewing them as little kids was not entirely true for me, of course, but expressing the sentiment was important.  “Noah is no longer the little dude who used to excitedly run to me for a hug wearing nothing but superhero briefs.”

Lisa smiled at the memory that image induced, but then sighed.  “Yeah.  I just didn’t figure it would happen so quickly,” she said before pausing.  “I guess things have been different the last year or so, where they just want to ‘hang out’, but still.  It sure seems like they’re a whole lot less innocent than just three hours ago.”

How shocked would Lisa be if she knew how much sex Max had been having, including blowing Noah with regularity?  Or taking it from me when we were in Mexico? 

I know because of my hebephilic proclivities, I’m more in tune with boys this age than most, but it always baffles me how naive so many adults in general and parents in particular are about early adolescents.  They’re horny bastards with one thing on their minds.  That should be obvious, but most have blinders on when it comes to their own offspring.  For Lisa, Max was about as much hers as Noah is.  I knew she needed some reassurance, but also frankness.  It would be a challenging needle to thread. 

I stopped and turned on the edge of the sidewalk to address the others.  We were out of earshot of the boys, who had walked on towards the car.  It was a good place to share some more thoughts amongst the adults.

“I don’t think they’re any less innocent, you’re just suddenly more aware.  The veil has been lifted, so to speak.  The truth is - and has been for a while now - they're both in puberty and aren’t so little anymore,” I tried to gently explain.  “But they’re still the same good, compassionate, thoughtful boys they’ve always been, who we all adore.  They’re awesome kids, you know that.  But, they’re also horny all the damn time.  They have been for a while, of course, you’re just noticing it for the first time.”

Adam laughed.  “That’s for sure.  I remember eighth grade.  You lose your mind with lust.  And we have two of those monsters under our roof,” he joked.  “Still, I don’t think any parent ever wants to think of their kids as sexual even when they know it’s inevitable.  Plus, you always want your kids to be better than you.  It makes me a little nauseous to think Noah could be just as big of a degenerate as I was at 13.” 

Lisa cringed.  Stacy, who had been silent, piped up.

“I never thought I’d have to single-parent my way through gay boy puberty.  None of this is in any of the parenting books,” Stacy quipped.  “I remember how horrible boys were when I was this age.  He better not turn into that.  But if Max and Cam have been together for months, I wonder…” she trailed off.  I assumed she was considering just how far they had gone, but also didn’t want to ponder those implications. 

“You are not alone.  It takes a village, and we all think the world of Max,” I offered, hoping to reassure her.  “I know it’s harder without Rick, but he probably would have made Max feel worse about himself.  Hell, he still does.” I didn’t want to leave it on a sad note, so I continued.  “Besides, he has you, and a boy needs his mother.  You raised a great young man with precious little help from his father.  For whatever it’s worth, know I’m always here for him - and you.  So is Kim, and I know Adam and Lisa agree.”

“Absolutely,” Adam reiterated.  “I don’t know what it’s like to be gay, but between Craig and I, Max won’t ever want for a positive male role model he can turn to if he has questions.” Adam looked down, almost in shame.  “I guess I never made that clear, to either of you.  I’m sorry.”

Stacy smiled, like a weight had been lifted.  “I knew when Rick went away things would be more complicated, and it isn’t like I haven’t noticed Max is maturing.  But I think it’s the difference between knowing this was going to eventually be a thing, in the abstract, and it actually being real.  He’s still such a little boy in some ways, and so grown up in others.”

Her words lingered in the air.  We were all parents, and understood exactly what she meant: when your kid is no longer a child, but also nowhere near an adult, yet everyone expects them to be both and neither simultaneously.  No wonder adolescence is so alienating.

“It also makes more sense why he so suddenly and strongly attached himself to you,” she said, turning to face me.  “He needed an accepting, kind man willing to help him navigate this stuff in a way I can’t.”

It was a deep insight, and not one I expected.  It made me feel good, but also guilty, for my weakness in Mexico.  She seemed grateful, though.  “Thank you for loving my son, and for always being there for him,” Stacy said as she wiped her eyes.  “I didn’t realize quite how much he - or I - needed you until just now.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I didn’t.  I just brushed her elbow and smiled.  We didn’t need to say anything else. 

***

The car ride began awkwardly.  Nobody knew what to say.  I brought up Mrs. Bach’s backwards attitude.  I figured it was something everyone in the car could agree with, and we enjoyed venting about her for several blocks.  Stacy couldn’t resist adding some snide comments about Jeanine - who everyone agreed was almost as offensive as Mrs. Bach.  I managed to mention Bob was 100% behind Cam. 

Goodbyes were quickly exchanged in the Reed’s garage.  Lisa invited everyone in for dessert, but it seemed to be an obvious example of her being ‘Midwestern nice’.  I doubt she truly wanted to have company.  They were all clearly anxious to have private discussions.

The boys met in the middle of the garage and whispered to each other.  I wasn’t sure what they were saying, but you could tell there was a quiet intensity about it.  I wondered how their parents interpreted their level of intimacy.  It certainly isn’t typical of boys their age, who so often bear down on projecting a hyper-masculine image.  Noah has never embraced the pretense of being macho, and has always been demonstrative.  Despite his heterosexuality, he showed no hesitation in showing affection to his best friend.  If you didn’t know better, it would be completely understandable to assume there was more to their feelings for one another than mere friendship or even brotherly love.

When they finished, Max surprised us all by making an announcement.  “What happened tonight is my fault,” he proclaimed.  “If it weren’t for me, Noah wouldn’t have done any of that stuff.”  Why does he always try to put everything on his shoulders?  I frowned.  He saw it and looked away.  “Adam, Lisa…please don’t be too hard on him,” he pleaded.  “He was just trying to protect me and Cam, Ashley, and Spencer.  I don’t mean for everyone around me to get hurt.  I’m sorry.”

The self-loathing was almost too much.  I know he isn’t attention seeking, and it’s heartbreaking he gets so down on himself, but I feel bad because I can’t seem to help but be annoyed with it.

Fortunately, nobody was going to allow him to get away with it.  Lisa stepped right up to him and told him to knock off his nonsense.  She gave him a sincere hug and reminded him that he is practically their third son, and nothing could change that.  Adam offered support as well.  I was happy for Max.  The most important people in his life were standing by him when he needed them most.

Max followed his Mom to their car.  I stopped to give him a final hug.  I glanced at Stacy and nodded, offering her moral support as well.  I hoped the two of them had a productive, forthright conversation so long as Max wasn’t completely transparent about all of his amorous activities. 

As they got into their car, I walked towards my house.  I stopped on the sidewalk and watched, waving, as they drove by.  It was a strange feeling, but unmistakable: I felt left out.  I wished I could be there for him as he and Stacy talked about such heavy things, like a father should be.  I might have been able to mediate the inevitable tension…and ensure my indiscretions remained a secret.  Still, I didn’t envy the awkwardness that would consume the rest of their evening.  Come to think of it, I still had to face Kim.

***

I slowly climbed the subtle incline home.  It wasn’t so much that I dreaded telling Kim, I was just tired and didn’t feel up to rehashing everything.  It’s been a long week at work and Max’s meltdown earlier in the week was stressful, as was trying to figure out how to protect Brett.  Plus, tonight has been an emotional rollercoaster.

Kim, of course, would have none of it.  As expected, she hit me as soon as I walked in from the garage. 

“So?  How did everything go?” she immediately asked.  “I sent you a couple of texts but you never responded.”

Honestly, I hadn’t even taken my phone out of my pocket since we left the restaurant.  “Did you?  Sorry.  I didn’t even think to look.  It was...intense.”

Kim was on the edge of her seat.

“I tried to get Stacy and the Reeds up to speed on the ride over.  That was awkward, but went okay.  Just as you said, she suspected for a while and pieced several things together,” I said.  “And don’t worry, I made it clear you just found out and didn’t lie to her.  She was surprised I kept it from you, but I reiterated that it’s Max’s story to tell.  She seemed to accept that.”

“I’m glad.  I felt awful she might assume I tried to manipulate her,” Kim expressed.  “So, she is definitely good with him being gay?”

“Yeah, she seems to be handling it okay.  I figured she would, but still.  It’s a lot.”

I stopped and grabbed a Dos Equis from the fridge and sat down in my recliner.

“Anyway, when we got to the school, the boys were all separated.  Cam was trying to play it cool but I could tell he was nervous.  And Max was super upset.”

Kim raised her eyebrows.  I took a sip and resumed my summary.

“It turns out the assistant principal was trying to blame Max and Noah for everything, and not the bully who caused the problems.  And she was super homophobic,” I said with disgust and further explained the disparity in discipline.  “Max spat some pretty vicious responses when this bitch called him a deviant, pervert, and compared him to his Dad.”

“Good grief,” Kim said, without words for the first time in our marriage.  I thought it best to omit Max’s comebacks, and she didn’t ask. 

“I lost it on the woman.  Stacy was incensed, too.  Adam and Lisa were outraged, but had to worry about Noah.  They’re trying to suspend him for nine days!”

“Wow, that’s huge.”

“Yeah, and he threw one punch and was then kissed.  It’s crazy.  Apparently, Noah intervened when a much bigger kid was calling Max and Cam fags, threw his girlfriend to the ground, and was going after a little sixth grader.  So he didn’t even do anything wrong.”

“Where were the adults?” Kim asked incredulously.

“Yeah, we asked the same thing.  The school tried to say there were plenty of chaperones in the area who they could have gone to for help, but none noticed either time there was a commotion.” I felt weird relaying their lame excuses.  “It sounded like Noah had no choice.  Personally, I think he deserves a medal.  At least he got his first kiss out of it.”

Kim grinned.  She’s a sap for a good story, especially one with romance.  “So, this girl.  She’s his girlfriend?”

“Apparently, after tonight.  I guess she was so impressed with his chivalry and character by defending her and his friends, she couldn’t help herself.”

“Good for him.  Although I doubt Lisa is thrilled,” Kim said.  She was right.  Lisa definitely seemed thrown for a loop with seeing Noah in a more adult-like light.

“Anyway, the principal seemed to get what a shitshow the AP was creating and asked the parents to return Monday morning, to figure out consequences after he reviewed everything.  He intimated their consequences wouldn’t be near as severe.” Part of me wished I could be there with them, but knew there was no plausible reason to tag along.

“I sure hope so.  They’re such nice boys, to suspend them for so long seems wrong,” Kim said.

“Apparently, this witch of AP and Cam’s Mom know one another.  They saw each other as we were leaving.  That was both fascinating and uncomfortable,” I joked.

“Oh my,” she laughed, slipping into her best church lady impression.  “Well, Jeanine has always sounded like...one of God’s special people.”

“Yeah, she’s uniquely insufferable.  It’s amazing how Cam and Bob manage to be so down to earth,” I responded.  “Anyway, when we got home, Max tried to take total responsibility.  I think he’s really worried Noah is going to get flogged or something, and he seemed concerned Adam and Lisa might be mad at him or disappointed he’s gay.”

Kim shook her head.  “That’s horrible.  But you’d think he’d know by now they view him like one of their own, and aren’t like that.”

“Yeah.  I think logically you can assume something, but emotionally is different.  Plus, he’s young and telling people he’s gay is still super new.  Even if it seems overwrought, I think it’s totally genuine,” I explained.  Of course, Kim didn’t realize I had a much deeper understanding about coming out than she’d ever know.

I finished my beer.  Kim was still nursing her tea, and seemed hesitant about something.

“You have that look.  What is it?” I asked.

“I was just thinking, as a mother, what Stacy must be feeling.”

“As a mother?”

“Yeah.  Just, I wonder how she must feel about you.  She’s been through a lot with Rick, and of course been with Max his entire life.  You’ve only known him a few months and he’s so strongly attached, coming out to you, and telling you secrets and going to you for advice.  I worry she might be jealous, hurt, or resentful,” Kim explained.  She seemed concerned sharing would hurt my feelings.

“Oh, yeah, I had the same thought,” I shared.  “But I think she gets Max craves a strong male influence, especially with the disaster his father always was.  She actually thanked me tonight for always being there for him, and helping him through things she can’t.  It surprised the hell out of me, but I’m happy she isn’t feeling displaced.”

“Oh, that is a relief.  I’m not certain I’d have been as understanding with our girls.”

“Yeah, same.  I had a similar thought, but I think Max’s circumstances are unique and that helps.  She’s overwhelmed and appreciative to have any help, especially from a man,” I said, before starting to choke up.  “Honestly, I love that kid so much.  He really is like the son we never had.  It’s just so effortless with him, for some reason, and he’s like this piece of me I didn’t even realize was missing.”

Kim looked at me with adulation.  Women eat up a vulnerable, loving man.  If I wasn’t careful, I’d be “rewarded” by having to service her.

“He’s a sweet, special boy.  Everyone thinks so.  He’s lucky to have you, but you’re lucky to have him, too,” she said sagely.  “It’s funny how hearing a random slip of the tongue at a neighbor’s party permanently changed both of your lives for the better.” 

I nodded.  “It’s true.  It’s difficult to remember how things were before he came into my life.  I don’t think I even realized how much I missed having a kid to help, with the girls gone.”

“It’s been nice.  You’ve seemed happier and more content the last few months, too.”

I just smiled.  It was true, save for the stress over the last couple of weeks about being discovered as a boy lover.  It was interesting to me how she could so keenly observe how palpable my happiness was when I’m around Max.

“Well, it’s been a night.  I’m going to crash.  Good night, dear,” I said before kissing the top of her head.  She hugged my arm as I walked by.  I may not be in love with my wife, but I do care deeply for her.  She’s a good woman, irritating habits and all.

***

I was spraying weeds in the yard early Saturday morning when Adam approached.  “Look at you!  Hitting it awfully early for a weekend, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I didn’t sleep well and woke up early, so I thought I’d get this chore done before it gets too hot,” I explained.  “How did it go last night?” 

“Okay,” he responded.  “The talk with Noah was a little awkward but not traumatizing.  We had no idea all the things he was trying to handle on his own.  Lisa and I were both taken aback he was carrying the burden of keeping Max’s secret, all the while trying to get the two of them back together.  We know he’s growing up, but I’m not sure we’d expect that much maturity from Jackson.”

“Noah is amazing.  He really is one-of-a-kind.  He’s always been quirky, but there’s just something special about him.  I’m not shocked at all by his actions,” I replied.  Adam didn’t know the half of the full story.  Noah was managing to keep my secret, as well.  “But, it hasn’t been that long that he’s known about Max.”

“Just a couple months, right?  Since Max’s birthday party?  He said Max and Cam told him during the sleepover.”

That wasn’t exactly the way it went.  Max and Cam ‘told’ him by not being careful and Noah walking in on them during oral sex.  I had a feeling Noah left out that particular detail.  If he had mentioned it, Adam would have told me.  It gave me solace - if he didn’t tell his parents about that, it meant he managed to keep bigger secrets.  “That sounds about right.  Noah talked to me about it, after.”

“He did?  We just wish he felt comfortable sharing something so important with us.  It should have been obvious we wouldn’t have been bothered by Max being gay.”

“That’s true.  But remember, Max hadn’t even told his Mom yet.  I’m sure he, and Noah, were afraid that if they told you, it would get back to Stacy.  Like I told Kim when she gave me grief about not informing her, it was Max’s secret to reveal.  It wasn’t Noah’s place, or mine, to out him to anyone.”

“I guess that’s true,” Adam agreed.  “I still can’t believe Noah got into a fight with a bigger kid.  I didn’t even know he knew how to throw a punch.”

“I’m not sure how you feel about that, but I’m almost proud of him.  By all accounts, it sounds like Brady had it coming, and then some.  I’m not one to glorify violence, but I wouldn’t even say it was a fight.  He only needed one punch to stop things from escalating.  Honestly, you can’t even say it was poor judgement.”

“Yeah, I’m there.  Lisa was more upset, but I get it.  I’d have done the same thing.  We had to ground him until at least next weekend.  We don’t want him thinking we’re okay with fighting, or making out in public.”

“I get it.  You have to put on a strong, unified front,” I responded.  I remembered those days.  Disciplining teens is no fun, although thankfully my girls were almost never in trouble.  “Let me guess, he didn’t even argue?”

“How’d you figure that out?”  Adam looked at me with genuine surprise.  “It's like you know my own kid better than I do!”

“Just a hunch.  Noah’s the type to accept the consequences of his actions.  I’m sure he thinks what he did was both completely justified and worth it,” I predicted.

Adam laughed.  “Right again.  He even said as much.  He just handed over his phone and went to his room without further comment.  When I was his age, I’d have profanely argued and my Dad would have come at me with his belt.”

I nodded.  I had plenty of experience of that from my own childhood.

“Noah has always been empathetic and sensitive.  He would be completely riddled with shame and guilt if he knew he really hurt someone or disappointed you,” I began.  Noah has always had a subtle, calm confidence, which is why his insecurity about his appearance threw me for a loop last weekend.  “I suspect he’s totally at peace with his behavior.  All he really did was try to get his best friends back together and protect those around him, and he had no real choice in the moment.  Even the kissing wasn’t something he started.  Just his reward for being such a good guy.”

Adam grinned.  Who doesn’t like to hear their kid being bragged on?  “He really is a damn good boy.  He’s way better than I was at 13.  Hell, I was a pain-in-the-ass throughout high school,” he said with a look that made me assume he was reliving some particular antic from his teenage years.  “I’m not sure how I wound up with such a Boy Scout.  It must be his mother’s influence.”

“Well, you guys definitely did something right.  Both Noah and Jackson are good seeds,” I said as I extended my hand to Adam’s shoulder.  “If you need to keep Noah busy, send him my way.  I can always come up with chores he can help with.  It’s been a while since I’ve had a teenager to put to work, but I can crack the whip with the best of them!”  While it’s true I could find things for a strapping young lad to do around the house (get your mind out of the gutter), it was also a way to spend time with Noah while he was grounded and an opportunity for him to confide in me about things he wasn’t comfortable talking to his father about.  I wondered if Stacy would let me put Max to work, too.

“Thanks.  That’s a good idea,” Adam said.  “He’s probably going to start crawling the walls with being grounded and out of school for almost two fucking weeks.”

“Hopefully it will be less than that.  The principal seemed to think nine days was overkill,” I said encouragingly.  It really was ridiculous.

“I hope so.  I’m all for kids taking their licks when they mess up, but that seems harsh,” Adam responded.  Lisa called for him from their driveway.  “I better head in.  I need to get Noah’s ass up to help me take a load to the dump.  He’s going to be pissed I didn’t let him sleep past eight on a Saturday, but oh fucking well.”

“He’ll survive.  Sleep deprivation builds character, right?”

“Exactly.  If I have to be up at the ass crack of dawn, he can surely roll out of bed an hour later than he normally does,” Adam responded.  I think parents are always a little bitter how late teens sleep.  “Anyway, if you want to have us take anything to the landfill, put it on the curb and I’ll have Noah grab it on our way out.” With a wave, he left.

***

After a morning of yard work, I needed a shower.  I pondered the last 24 hours, and how momentous they had been for all the boys in my life.  I sure hoped things worked out, and knew I needed an update.  I hoped to have news from Bob, but there was radio silence.  I was starting to worry things had gone very poorly with Jeanine.

I sent him a brief text asking if they were okay.  He called a few minutes later.

“Hey,” I answered.  “Glad to hear from you.  How is everything?”

“So-so,” he replied.  “It could have gone better, but it could have been a lot worse, too.  I’ve been wanting to call, but didn’t want Jeanine to know I was sharing too much.  She finally decided to run to Costco.” I could understand that, but how hard is it to send a text?

“I was worried when I didn’t hear from you.  I feared Jeanine lost it.”

“Oh, she’s not happy.  But I think she realizes she doesn’t have a lot of leverage to get her way.” Not like getting her way is possible.  Cam can’t pray his gay away. 

“So, tell me what happened,” I asked.  “And how the hell do Jeanine and Mrs. Bach know each other?”

“Volunteer work,” Bob answered.  “Some county-wide Baptist program for inner-city youth or something.  They were on a committee together.” I guess it was nice they were involved with good deeds even if they’re ridiculous about some things.  “I’m not sure who was more uncomfortable in the meeting.  It was so awkward; they could hardly look at each other.”

“Yeah, that woman seemed like a real witch,” I offered before pivoting.  “So, what did they do to Cam?”

“Not much.  The principal read Cam the riot act about how they could have him arrested for trespassing, and assured him they would if he ever came back.  Other than that, nothing.  They sent us home with an official trespass notice, but I think they have their hands full with the Olympia kids.  They seemed eager to get us on our way.”

“That’s true.  There might be ongoing tensions they have to diffuse,” I agreed.  In some ways, the school was damned if they did and damned if they didn’t.  “But, threatening a good kid with arrest seems a little over the top.”

“Yeah, I thought the same thing, but I know they’re just making a point,” he said with slight annoyance.  “If I thought they were serious, I would have pointed out Olympia would be Cam’s middle school if we had him enrolled in the public system - which we could do at any time - and we sure pay a lot in taxes to the school district.”

“Yeah, I get it.  No one likes their kid to be threatened or intimidated,” I responded.  “So, what happened when you got home?  Did Cam directly come out?”

“Yes, in the car, as soon as we pulled away.  Cam was very direct: ‘Mom,’ he said, ‘this isn't how I wanted you to find out, but I’m gay.’”

“Wow.  Good for him.  What was her reaction?”

“As you’d expect.  She tried telling him he’s too young to know, that it’s just a phase, and how kids can be confused during puberty especially with negative influences and society glorifying sin.  She reminded him how important it is to pray, especially about temptation.  I was just happy she didn’t lead with how he’s going to burn in hell.”

“I assume Cam made it clear his attractions are immutable.”

“Yes, but she just kept arguing.  Finally, I stepped in and told her Cam was trying to be honest with her, but she wasn’t listening.”

“How did that go over?”

“She brooded.  It took a couple miles, but she finally realized I must have already known.  That didn’t make her happy.  She asked how long I knew he was living a ‘sinful lifestyle.’

“Ugh,” I groaned.  “Really?”

“Yeah, I know.  I told her I’ve known for a couple months.  Of course I didn’t tell her I knew because I heard Cam and Max having sex in the sauna.  She’d flip.  Of course, she’d lose her mind if she knew I’ve committed adultery by having gay sex.”

“Yeah, best not to mention that,” I said with a nervous laugh.  That wouldn’t go over well with Kim, either.  “So, did you talk a lot more?”

“She went on and on about what her friends and family will think, which pissed me off.  And she kept pestering Cam about changing his mind, like it’s just a switch he can flip and he’s choosing to do something just to aggravate her.  I know in the back of her head she was thinking about reparative therapy, but thankfully she knew better than to bring it up,” he explained.  “When we got home, she made a comment about being worried about the state of Cam’s soul, which understandably upset him.  He started sobbing and ran to his room while she and I had...  a spirited discussion.  She slept in the spare room and hasn’t said a word to me today.”

“Yikes.  What did you say?”

“Just that she was being selfish and callous, and should be repentant for being more concerned with what her judgmental friends think than about her only son’s happiness or well-being.  She’s certain her family will disown her for ‘raising a homosexual’.  I know she’s wrong, but she’ll have to see it to believe it.”

“I’m sure there will be some who shun him, but hopefully not as many as she imagines.  And really, fuck those who do.”

“She brought up those conversion programs, but I shut that shit right down.  I told her again, in no uncertain terms, I would divorce her on the spot if she so much as mentioned one of those to Cameron.”

“And that’s when she started icing you?”

“Pretty much.  She stormed off to the guest room in a huff,” Bob relayed.  He sure seemed nonplussed about a major fight with his wife.  “She can’t make it on her own, and she’s become accustomed to a certain lifestyle.  She hasn’t worked since her summer job during college, and church committees don’t pay.  So, she’ll come around, even if she has to make a show of going to church to pray.  Maybe God will show her the light.”

“One can hope.  But, what’s up with Cam?  Did you get him calmed down?”

“Eventually.  I went to his room.  He was still teary but had mostly cried himself out by then.  We talked for a long time and he was super snuggly.  I laid in his bed like when he was little and he just cuddled right up against me.  It surprised me, because he hasn’t done that in a couple of years.  It was a major sign of how insecure and stressed he is,” Bob explained.  His tone was hard to interpret.  He seemed genuinely concerned about Cam’s state of mind, but also contemptuous of Jeanine’s attitude, all while reveling in being able to have such quality contact with his son. 

“Aww.  That sounds like a cool memory for the both of you.  I know how needy Max can be for fatherly affection and love, and I eat up the opportunity to give it.  It must be something about boys that age, when they finally let their guard down and stop trying to seem so tough or cool,” I suggested.

“Yeah.  Cam was always a sweet kid, but he hasn’t been that demonstrably affectionate in a long time.  He’s clearly anxious, and it pisses me off because it’s so unnecessary.”

“It’s frustrating, when your kid is hurting and you can’t make it better for them,” I commiserated.  “So, did he mention what all happened at the school?”

“Yeah.  He told me all about how well everything went until that other kid started shit,” Bob explained.  “I expressed my happiness about it working out, but reminded him he was still grounded for his actions last weekend, and couldn’t let it slide that he was making out in public, either.  He said he understood and apologized for ‘disappointing and inconveniencing’ me.  What the hell kind of kid talks like that to the person punishing them?”

“One who has been raised to be respectful and responsible, and who doesn’t want to upset a father he exalts.”

Bob was quiet for a moment, clearly soaking up the compliment I paid his boy - and his own parenting.  He’s been strict with Cam, so taking an opportunity to remind him how good his son really is shouldn’t be squandered.

“Yeah, I’m fortunate.  But, he’s most worried about his mother and her reaction.  I assured him - again - nothing was going to happen and he was never going to be sent to a conversion camp.”

“That’s all you can do at this point, to offer unconditional love, acceptance, and reassurance to salve his fears.  And you will, always,” I said.  Bob is very authoritative (albeit not authoritarian), matter of fact, and normally exudes confidence, but I could tell he was putting up more of a facade and needed encouragement, to have the emotional bandwidth to support Cam.

“Thanks Craig.  It’s nice to hear.  Jeanine made it sound like I was neglecting my fatherly duties by ‘blindly accepting’ his homosexuality,” Bob said bitterly.  “Shit.  Cam just yelled for me.  It sounds like he flooded the mower.  I’ll talk to you later.”

***

Having caught up with Adam and Bob, I only had Stacy and Max left to check-in on.

I texted Max.  After 30 minutes of no reply, I dialed Stacy.  It rang four times and went to voicemail.  That was odd.  I hoped everything was okay.  I hung up without leaving a message.

She returned my call a few minutes later from their landline.  “Hi Craig,” she said once I answered.  “Sorry I missed your call.  I was away from my phone.”  Her voice was strained, even raspy.  It cut out a few times as she spoke.  I hoped it wasn’t an indication she’d been crying or yelling.

“No worries,” I replied.  “I was just calling to check on you and Max.  I tried to text him but didn’t get a response.”

“Oh, he doesn’t have his phone,” she replied.

“I see.  That seems to be a common aspect to grounding these days,” I said.  Besides almost never being in trouble, Rachel and Emma didn’t have cell phones until they started driving, so I missed the parents using access-to-phones as a tool of discipline.  “So how did everything go last night?  Did the two of you have a good talk?”

“Fine,” she answered.  “We talked...yes.”  Her answers seemed oddly cryptic and short.

“And?”

“He knows I am okay with him being gay,” she explained.  “And I enjoyed hearing about how he and Cam became a thing.  It was cute.  Like a Hallmark movie almost, except with young boys.”

“Kim said it was better than a Hallmark movie,” I added, recalling her comments.  “Sounds like he’s still being punished, though.”

“Yes.  For kissing at school, and being rude to Mrs. Bach.  He still got in major trouble at school.  I had to, right?” 

She seemed uncertain.  Honestly, I didn’t think Max had done much to be sanctioned for.  Given the paramount importance of the night, I might have been inclined to let him off with a stern warning.  It wasn’t like he didn’t know what he did was wrong.  I was confident he wouldn’t repeat his mistakes, and isn’t that the whole point of disciplining a child?

But then again, I was always too soft on my girls.  I was just fortunate they weren’t the type to need much correction.  I didn’t want Stacy to second guess her parenting, so I feigned agreement.  “Sure.  Cam and Noah are in the same boat.  They are all good kids, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t mess up and don’t have a penalty to pay.”

“Right.  He didn’t take it well,” she answered.  “He seems to think he did nothing wrong.  But he’ll get over it.” Her voice quivered slightly.  She sounded sad and not entirely sure she believed what she was saying.  It definitely made me wonder what really happened. 

“Of course.  So everything is good between the two of you, then?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” she asked defensively.  I got a weird vibe.  Her tone didn’t seem to match her words.  It was like she was covering up something.

“Just checking, is all,” I responded.  I didn’t want to pry, but something was off.  My adrenaline suddenly spiked.  What if she is acting strange because Max told her our big secret?  Oh crap.  I had to probe further.  “I know how worked up Max can get when he’s stressed or upset, and coming out is tough even if the other person is supportive and loving, like you.  Besides, you’re dealing with this as a single parent, and that in and of itself is tough.  Just remember you aren’t alone.  I’m here if you ever need to vent.”

She exhaled.  “Thanks, and I know,” she said.  “Yeah, sometimes single-parenting sucks, but I’m glad he has you.  You’re more of a father figure than he’s ever had, and we are both grateful for that.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.  I know it’s only been a few months, but I definitely view Max as the son I never had.  Kim and I have even talked about it,” I confided.  I wasn’t sure what compelled me to tell her, but decided to let her in on more of Max’s psyche.  “Did he tell you that when we went to Mexico, he asked if he could call me ‘Dad’ while we were there?” I asked.  I knew the answer, but the timing just seemed right. 

Considering the heaviness of that, I knew I needed to reassure her.  “Still, I would never want to step on your toes or interfere with your relationship.”

“Don’t worry about that.  I appreciate all the help,” she responded, before circling back to what she clearly wanted to know more about.  “He really wanted to call you ‘Dad’?”

“Yeah.  At first, I thought it was just to avoid having to explain the situation to everyone we met, but there seemed to be more to it than that as the week progressed.  I let him, of course, and it warmed my heart.  Then I found out a week ago he changed me to ‘Dad’ in his phone contacts, too.  He was super embarrassed, but I don’t mind,” I answered.  I didn’t mention how Max’s love and affection made me feel like I won the boy-lover lottery. 

Stacy didn’t reply right away and there was an awkward silence.  It seemed wise to switch to a new topic.  “So, what do you think might happen with the school?  Would you like me to contact my attorney friend?”

“Let’s see what Monday brings,” she replied.  “Hopefully we won’t need to do anything drastic.  They seemed pretty rattled by the time we left.”

We talked several more minutes about the school and specifically Mrs. Bach’s attitude.  We hadn’t talked about Mr. Tim or Principal Johnson since leaving, but we both had the same great feeling about Tim and at least maintained respect for the principal.  We discussed potential actions we could take - if necessary.  Her biggest concern was how a suspension on Max’s record might affect him negatively at some point in the future. 

Eventually, I asked if I could talk to Max.  I needed to check on him, and hopefully get more details from his perspective.

*** 

I could hear Stacy climbing the stairs and knocking on Max’s door. 

“Hello?” Max greeted me.  His voice seemed flat, lifeless.

“Hey bud,” I replied.  “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he answered.  He didn’t sound convincing.

“Your Mom told me you had a good conversation,” I commented. 

“It was okay, at first,” he mumbled.  “I’m grounded, on lockdown in my room, and not supposed to be talking to anyone.”

“I guess since I’m an adult, I get a pass,” I mused, trying to lighten the mood.  “I thought you might like to hear what is going on with Cam and Noah.  I talked to Adam this morning and just got off the phone with Mr. Rice.”

“Yeah?” he answered, some enthusiasm appearing in his voice.

“They’re both grounded, like you.  And neither have their phones, so don’t bother trying to contact them.  Besides, I wouldn’t want you to risk getting into more trouble.”

“I don’t have mine either.  Didn’t Stacy tell you?” He first-named her.  Cold.  He was clearly bitter.

“Actually, she did.  It just slipped my mind,” I replied.  I was trying to avoid giving Max the impression we’d spent the last ten minutes talking about him.  “Parents have to take away meaningful things,” I added, trying to back up Stacy. 

I wasn’t sure what to say next, but wanted to reiterate that I always had his back.  “None of us think you are bad kids,” I began.  “We all know that.  But you all have to learn there is a time and place for everything.  It’s part of growing up, and it’s a parent's responsibility to make sure it happens before you get into really big trouble.” 

Max didn’t respond when I took a breath. 

“I’m not upset with Noah for decking that kid,” I continued.  “It sounds like he had it coming.  And obviously I’m okay with Cam sneaking in or I wouldn’t have helped him do so, but a school function is not the place to swap tongues and grope each other.  That’s...tacky, at best.”

“I know,” he answered reluctantly.  I was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes at me.  “I didn’t mean to.  It just happened.  So, what happened with Cam?” he asked.

I told him about Cam receiving a trespass notice from Olympia and explained how it would probably make it impossible to have Cam come to one of the more formal dances, as they hoped.

“Don’t worry,” he replied.  “I doubt he wants to come to my stupid homophobic school again, anyway,” he added.  It sounded as if he was very down on Olympia, not that I can blame him.  The remainder of his eighth-grade year might be rough.  I wondered if he might need to eventually transfer to a new school.  Would Kim kill me if I suggested we pay his way to Widmer for the year? 

“What about his Mom?  Did she completely lose it?” he asked.

I tried to recap what I learned from Bob the best I could, without making Cam’s situation seem too dire.  I made sure to emphasize Bob’s support over Jeanine’s crazy bitch mode.

“Does she know Cam and I have been...you know?  Because Mom sure didn’t take that well.  She says I’m too little.”  

Fuck!  I didn’t expect Max to tell his Mom about their physical relationship, at least not in enough depth to upset her.  It gave me further pause.  Did he mention anything about us?  He’s impulsive about sex and been known to say shit he shouldn’t when he’s upset.

“Oh?” I answered.  “Well, mothers never want to hear about their kids having sex.  Give her time.”

“Yeah,” he agreed.  “Anything more?”

“Not really.  Bob said Cam can’t wait to be able to spend time with you once he’s off punishment.  I’m sure you feel the same way.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure how we’re ever going to get any alone time,” he answered spitefully.  Stacy must have really put the kibosh on that. 

Silence ensued.  I had to ask him point-blank if he said ‘too much’.  “Max,” I said, “I do want to...uh...make sure,” I began.

“No, I didn’t mention anything,” he answered before I could finish asking.  “Why would you think I would?  Don’t you trust me?” I briefly worried Stacy might be listening in on another handset.  I doubted that was the case, but was glad nonetheless we communicated without saying anything specific.

A weight lifted from my shoulders.  “Good.  Just checking,” I answered.  “And of course I trust you, but I know in high-stress situations how things can just come out sometimes that you’d never say under other circumstances.” 

“Okay, I better go,” he replied hastily.  Was I annoying him?  “I don’t want to piss off the warden.”  It seemed he was done talking to me.  I think I aggravated him by wondering if he shared our secret.  He seemed eager to terminate the conversation, which struck me as odd.  I figured he’d be bored and desperate for social contact.

“Sure,” I replied, laughing at his joke.  “Be a good boy, Max.”

He disconnected without replying.  Both conversations felt weird.  Something was off, but I wasn’t sure why.

***

My cell erupted Monday morning as I was walking to the bathroom after a long meeting.  It was Stacy.  I assumed she was calling with an update after their school meeting.

“Hey,” I said, ducking into a quiet corner by the elevators, anxious to hear the results of their meeting.

“Craig,” she cried, clearly distraught.

“Stacy!  What is it?  Did they expel Max or something?”

“No,” she cried.  I could hear her trying to gain control of her sobbing.  “The meeting went well,” she added between sniffles.  “His suspension was reduced to three days and changed to in-school.”

“That’s great,” I replied.  That seemed like the best-case scenario, so why was she so despondent?

“Yeah, he’s there now, with that Tim guy,” she added.  “I’m in my car.”

“What made you so upset?  Did Mrs. Bach say something?”

“No, she wasn’t even there.” she answered, before pausing.  “Oh Craig,” she pleaded as her sobs resumed.  She didn’t seem to know where to start, and it was freaking me out. 

“Yes.  I’m here.  What’s happening?”

“It’s Max.  He hates me and has been so mean, just like his father.  I feel like I’ve lost him - for good.” 

I took a deep breath.  I had a feeling something was off when I talked to them on Saturday.  “I take it your talk went worse than you indicated?” 

“I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t parent my son.  It seems so effortless for you,” she said with a hint of bitterness.  “I thought he would come around.  But he still won’t talk to me, and when he does, he’s absolutely cold and vicious.”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“You should have heard what he just said to me, in front of Tim and Mr. Johnson.  I can’t even repeat it, but the principal made a point to check on me before I left.”  

It was obvious she needed some in-person support.  “Stacy, listen, why don’t we meet for an early lunch?  Go home and relax.  We can meet at Jack’s Pub.”  That was the place we first met to discuss my mentoring Max.  It wouldn’t be too busy on a Monday and I knew it wasn’t far from Stacy’s work.  Maybe she could manage to get a half-day in and save some PTO.  I could easily work from home in the afternoon.

“Are you sure?  That would be great,” she replied.  “What time can you be there?”

“I have a conference call, but it shouldn’t last long.  I can leave by 11:30, and could be there a little after noon.” 

“I’ll meet you there,” she answered.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

***

Traffic was light and I arrived well before Stacy.  I asked for a secluded booth, in case she became emotional.  Since I was working from home this afternoon, I didn’t hesitate to order a beer.

I was nursing my drink when Stacy arrived.  She was wearing nice clothes, indicating she hoped to make it to the office.  As distraught as she sounded on the phone, I feared she may have felt the need to burn the entire day.

She saw me waving and sat down.  “Just a Diet Coke for me, please,” she told the waitress.  “I’m hoping to get a few hours of work in.  I need something to get my mind off…everything.”

“I see.  I’m glad to hear about Max’s suspension being diminished.  Any idea what happened with Noah?”

“His was reduced as well,” she replied.  “Five days out.  I think that’s still harsh, but Lisa said it was the minimum for an eighth grader involved in a physical altercation.”

“And what about the bully?”  

“No idea.  They wouldn’t tell us.  Some privacy law bullshit.  But I assume he’s out a few days too.  He better be, anyway.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  We both sipped our beverages. 

I took a deep breath.  “So…Max is being difficult?”

She groaned.  “I know I shouldn’t talk this way about my own kid, but he’s being an asshole.  It’s been like living with his father again.  I can’t handle it if my sweet boy turns into...that.”

Whoa.  Stacy has always been doting and docile with Max.  I couldn’t quite believe she just referred to him like that.  “Maybe you should back up.  I didn’t get the feeling the two of you were on bad footing when you left the Reeds.  What the hell happened?”

“You’re right, we weren’t.  We even shared a nice moment in the car.  He told me he almost came out to me twice, but couldn’t.  He was afraid I would be disappointed,” she said incredulously.  “Can you believe that?  I’ve made so many gay-friendly comments over the years, he should know I’m open minded.”

“I suppose if someone is coming out, they might brace themselves by assuming the worst - just to be prepared,” I offered.  “Besides, there’s a difference in being okay with homosexuality in the abstract, and accepting your only child being gay.  A lot of parents might dismiss it as a phase or assume a boy his age is too young to know.”

She gave me a funny look.  “That’s the same thing he said.  I assured him I was perfectly fine with having a gay son.  It wasn’t something I considered as a real possibility until a few months ago, but there are way worse things to deal with,” she explained.  “Trust me, I already have.”

Her alluding to Rick’s transgressions surprised me.  Both she and Max have always been understandably tight-lipped about that topic.  Still, it made sense that living through such a major trauma would put something relatively trivial like having a gay child in perspective.  “So, you really are okay with it?  No reservations?” I asked. 

“No!  None,” she admonished, clearly irritated I’d assume anything different.  “Max was worried I wanted grandchildren.  I told him there are still ways for that to happen, and that he would be a wonderful father.”

“Absolutely, I totally agree,” I responded.  “He’s inherently kind and caring.  In Mexico, he always found other, younger kids and made sure to include them in activities.” Of course, I omitted that some of those activities involved masturbation and fellatio. 

Stacy weakly smiled, but also looked sad.  “‘Kind and caring’.  I always thought that, too.  I’ve seen another side of him this weekend for the first time, and it hurts my heart.”

I raised an eyebrow.  How bad did it get?  “Tell me what happened.”

“I told him I’ve been picking up clues for a long time and that it wasn’t a total surprise, which seemed to put him at ease.  Then he told me how he and Cam came to be more than friends.  It was sweet.  I know I joked about it being like a b-grade Lifetime movie plot, but it really was.”

I shook my head.  Women and their chick flicks.  “This all sounds good so far.  I don’t understand.  How did it go south?”

“He got tense when I asked why they broke up.  I guess I shouldn’t have pried, because it set him off.  He told me it was private, as if anything between a parent and their child should be a secret,” she said shaking her head, still bothered by his attitude.  “Do you know why they broke up?”

I shuddered.  I felt like I had to tell her something or she would continue to trust me.  “Max made a friend in Mexico; a boy named Eduardo.  I think Cam might have been jealous.”

“Jealous?  Why?” She asked before a lightbulb went off.  “You mean…”

“I’m not positive,” I lied.  “But I would presume.  They spent a lot of time together.”

She closed her eyes and sighed.  “No wonder he got upset when I asked about whether they’d kissed before.  He completely blew up on me, and was so brash - just like Rick could be when he was in a mood.”

She took a swig of soda, as if it were a shot of something stronger, before slamming the glass back down on the table.

“I almost slapped him when he yelled at me about ‘loving sex’ with Cam.  Only he was much more graphic and detailed about it,” she relayed, cringing at the thought it must have conjured.  Her tone tensed and she was waving her hands around more animated than normal.  “He seemed like he wanted to hurt me, and tried to do so by going for shock value.  It isn’t a side of him I’ve ever seen before.”

I tried to remain neutral.  “How did you take that?”

“I told him he’s way too young to be sexually active, of course.  He’s only 14 for God’s sake!  And Cam is still 13!  And I don’t even know how old this Mexican boy is.  Jesus, how...experienced is he?” She asked rhetorically.  I don’t think she really wanted an answer.  “They say kids who start having sex at too young an age can have emotional issues.  Considering his shitty attitude, I’m worried it may have messed him up.”

While Max could be impulsive with sex, I don’t think he’s damaged goods.  “I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions.  He’s lashing out, like teens do, but that doesn’t mean it’s a sign of some major underlying problem.  Not that it makes it any easier when you’re the target of their adolescent angst, of course,” I said, trying to reassure and empathize with her.

“What was I supposed to do?  Invite Cam over and buy them a box of condoms, light a candle, and leave them alone?” Stacy asked.  She was on a roll.  Now was NOT the time to tell her I had in fact done exactly that, sans candle. 

“I informed him there would be rules for when the two of them are together, like no more sleepovers.  I mean, I wouldn’t let him sleep in the same room with a girlfriend, so why is Cam different?  That really made him irate, and he screamed at me that they were ‘in love’ and had a right to express that physically.” 

At this point, her eyes were rolling and she looked nauseous.  If Max picked up on that, I could understand how he may have responded defensively and assumed she wasn’t as accepting of his homosexuality as her words indicate.

“By the time I grounded him for his behavior at school, he completely lost it.  He ranted about his hatred of me, stormed off to his room, and hasn’t said 30 words to me since,” she said.  “I expected him to be disappointed, even mad.  He’s given me the silent treatment before, but it normally wears off after a few hours.  This — this is something else.”

I understood why she was stressed, but a teenager telling their parents they hate them is basically a rite of passage.  “I can see why that’s upsetting, but it isn’t untypical.  Max is a sweet kid, but even he has moments of brattiness,” I offered.  “It sounds like you’ve given him space.  Maybe make a peace offering?  He’ll come around.”

Stacy stared at the table.  “I tried, several times.  None of it worked.”

She went on to explain how she tried to coax him into grocery shopping, bought his favorite snacks, offered to take him to church and brunch, and brought him lunch from one of his favorite restaurants.  Max remained distant.  He’s stubborn.

Stacy looked embarrassed.  “It probably didn’t help when I walked in on him…”

I gave her a look.  My interest was piqued.  “Oh?”

“When I arrived home from grocery shopping, I called up the stairs for him to come help put things away, but he didn’t answer.  I thought he might be excited for the snacks, since he doesn’t get those often,” she explained.  “So I went up to his room.  His door was ajar, and when I knocked it swung open.  He was asleep, totally naked and…”

I grinned.  “Parts of him were at, uh, full attention?” 

Stacy cringed.  “I haven’t seen an erection that stiff since my honeymoon!” 

I burst out laughing.  “Well, I can understand how that might be embarrassing for both of you, but that’s totally normal for a boy his age.  It happens spontaneously throughout puberty,” I explained.  “I’ll never forget when I was in seventh grade, my math teacher called me to the board to do a problem and two girls in the front row started snickering.  I had no idea it was so obvious until I looked down, but by the end of the day, half the school knew.”

Stacy stifled a laugh.  I guess in hindsight, it was funny.  “I had no idea boys dealt with that in school, but I guess it makes sense.  It’s still not as bad as having a period and bleeding through your clothes, though.”

“That’s true,” I agreed.  “I remember my girls dealing with that, plus cramps.  But constant erections are pretty universal for boys of a certain age.”

“Lisa warned me.  I just haven’t seen him completely nude in a couple of years, or like that since potty training.  It’s...grown.”

“So Cam says,” I stated, completely deadpan.  I wasn’t sure it was the right move, but things were tense so I went for a moment of levity. 

Stacy looked at me in horror before letting out a cackle loud enough that people at three adjacent tables glared at us. 

“Jesus Christ, Craig.  Way too soon,” she said shaking her head but clearly amused.

“Hey, you laugh or you cry, and you looked like you needed a good belly laugh,” I offered as a defense.  “I know his voice hasn’t changed and he’s still short, but he is in puberty.” 

She sighed.  “I know.  I just don’t like these changes.  His testosterone surges are hateful and scary.”

“Yeah, hormones are no fun to parent through,” I said.  “So, how did you handle that?”

“I just apologized and left his room.  I tried talking to him about it later,” she relayed.  “Like hey, you don’t live alone, at least wear underwear.  It’s just common courtesy.  But like everything else, he bit off my head,” she said shaking her head.  “He told me Cam liked to sleep naked with him.  I had to threaten to take his bedroom door off the hinges and remind him who paid the mortgage to get him to stop.”

Good grief, Max.  Show some discretion.  “I’m sorry.  That doesn’t sound pleasant.” Of course, the image of Max and Cam sleeping together naked was arousing to me, but I knew she couldn’t appreciate the erotic imagery they supplied.

I still wasn’t completely sure why she was in tears earlier.  I get stress can be compounding, but none of this sounded worth having a breakdown over.

“I can handle him being cranky or silent.  I even expect a certain level of occasional disrespect or flippancy from someone his age.  Parents shouldn’t be a friend, and they’re bound to piss off their kid from time to time,” she offered.  “But he’s been completely brutal.  I’ve never seen him so rude or angry before.”

Ah, now we were getting somewhere.  I just nodded.

Stacy looked down in shame.  “He told me to leave him the fuck alone.  He’s never talked to me profanely before.  Not ever.  Just a few years ago, he’d give me hugs after his father would speak to me like that,” she explained, wiping away a tear. 

I could tell there was more.  She was hesitant. 

“Then, he called me a ‘stupid alcoholic bitch’ who has to be ‘plastered’ to talk to him.  He went on and on about how if I weren’t always ‘passed out drunk’ I’d know he was having ‘amazing sex’ with Cam right in his bed.”

At this point, Stacy was quietly crying.  I felt bad for her.  She was clearly hurting, and didn’t know what to do.  She might imbibe slightly more than is ideal, but she isn’t a drunk, and I was aghast by how harshly and poorly Max was treating her.  Calling her an alcoholic bitch is way over the line.

“I have always tried so hard to give Max the love and attention he deserves, even before Rick went away.  I’m sure this is no surprise, but his father was always aloof and often overtly hostile to the both of us, so I overcompensated.  Then he was arrested at the worst possible time in a boy’s life, when he’s on the precipice of puberty,” she said softly.  “After this weekend, I feel like a complete failure as a mother.”

I grabbed her arm from across the table and gave it a squeeze.  Max really had been an asshole.

“I know sometimes I drink too much, but an alcoholic?  He seems to really believe it, too.  He’s repeated it several times, so it isn’t just something that came out in the heat of the moment.  Come to think of it, it’s about all he’s said this weekend,” she complained.  “I don’t even know if he realizes it, but I’ve emptied the house of booze.  I disposed of Rick’s liquor and boxed up the unopened bottles of wine to give away.”

I smiled.  “That’s a nice gesture, and shows you’re listening to his concerns.  I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.”

“I’m not so sure,” she responded.  “When we found out about his ISS, I told him I’d be home early tonight.  His last words to me were asking if that was because the bar was closed.  He also made a remark about fitting him for an ankle monitor.”

For fuck’s sake, Max.  I was starting to seethe on her behalf.

“He said it right in front of Mr. Tim and the principal.  I was completely humiliated.  Mr. Johnson felt the need to check on me after he left.  I was able to keep it mostly together until I got to my car and called you.”

“I’m so sorry, Stacy,” was all I could muster.  We sat in silence for a moment.  “That’s definitely out of character.  I’ve seen him upset, even irate, but never so vicious or rude.”

“I’m worried this might be his new normal, like a switch was flipped.  He did the same thing with Mrs. Bach.  I’ve always wondered if he would have a delayed response to his father’s issues,” she explained.  “But, when you came into his life, he seemed to really turn a corner.  He was happier than he ever was before.”

I didn’t miss a beat.  “Cam has something to do with that, too.  They really do bring out the best in one another,” I said.  “It sounds like in his mind, he’s scared you’re taking Cam away even though you aren’t, and he’s coming at you as a response to that fear.”

“I never told him they couldn’t spend time together!  I just said he was too young to be having sex and he wasn’t allowed to have a sleepover with anyone he’s in a relationship with.”

“I understand.  I’m just saying, I wonder if that’s why he’s responding so strongly,” I replied.  “I am absolutely appalled by his behavior.  There’s no excuse for how he’s treated you, and he needs a major attitude adjustment.  I’ll be happy to straighten him out.”

Stacy looked up at me.  She looked exhausted.  I doubt she slept all weekend.  “I feel so pathetic not being able to figure this out, but I don’t know what else to do.  Every time I’m around him, I’m afraid I’m going to cry.  I try to reassure him that I love him and he responds with something that brutalizes my soul.”

I was furious.  Despite her brave face, Stacy was more insecure, overwhelmed, and on edge than she’s ever let on.  She definitely needed to be built up. 

“You’re a great, loving mom - and Max knows it, even if he’s lost his mind and is being a dick right now.  But I promise: this is fleeting,” I said.  “Please, let me pick him up from school today.  Maybe after work you can meet Kim for a pedicure or massage?”

She smiled.  “Do you really think you can get through to him?” Was she really doubting my skills as Max Whisperer? 

“Let me give it a shot.  Can you let the school know I will be picking him up?”

“Sure,” she replied, as she started digging into her purse for some cash.

“Don’t worry about it.  This one’s on me,” I informed her.  “Go get some work done.  I’ll text Kim to see if she can meet you later.”

She smiled, giving me a hug as we left.  “Thanks again.  I honestly don’t know what I’d do without your help.  You’re a lifesaver.” 

***

I ended up ordering a sandwich before heading home and logging on to check my email.  It was a slow day, and it gave me time to ponder what I might say to Max.  I was still having a hard time envisioning him saying such horrible things to anyone, much less his own mother.  I’ve seen him angry, sad, frustrated, anxious, and even self-loathing, but I’ve never witnessed him be intentionally malicious to anyone.  Max didn’t show that much vitriol to Armando, who tried to force himself on him in Mexico. 

Has he been hiding such a nasty side from me this entire time?  Or did the stress and emotion of everything just have him wound especially tight?  Even so, that wouldn’t explain his behavior nearly three days later.  As I recalled the brutally mean things he said, I became increasingly incensed.  That he spouted off to Stacy in front of the school, to intentionally demean her, really pissed me off. 

I told Stacy that Max had become the son I’d never had, and I knew now that was certainly true.  I was as angry with him as I’d ever been with either of my own kids - perhaps even more so. 

As I thought about it, I realized something.  For all the good I’ve done Max, perhaps knowing he had me as an ally made it easier for him to push his mom away.  That was an unsettling thought - that I’d played a role in driving them apart.  I found that unacceptable, and felt an even heavier burden to help them sort everything out.  

***

Try as I might, I couldn't come up with a way to confront him.  I was still trying to figure out how to handle Max as I drove to Olympia.  As I spied him leaning against the flagpole, it was obvious I’d be winging it.  Even without a speech already in my head, I was confident.  I always seem to be able to get through.

He jumped into my car as soon as I pulled up.  I could tell he was excited… almost giddy.  “Hey, thanks for picking me up,” he said, with a wide smile.  “This is way better than the bus.  Can we please stop and get ice cream or a milkshake on the way home?”

His happiness caught me off guard.  I didn’t expect that from someone who’d cussed out his mother earlier and spent all day trapped in ISS. 

I didn’t reply right away, or even look at him.  “No, we won’t be stopping anywhere,” I replied sternly.  I was hoping he would clue in that I wasn’t pleased with him.

“Oh, that’s okay.  I have snacks at home, I just thought maybe I could get a Blizzard or McFlurry before gymnastics starts back hardcore,” he answered.

I didn’t reply, but gave a nod. 

“ISS wasn’t so bad,” he continued.  “Mr. Tim is the coolest.  We talked and I got this book to read.  It’s actually decent,” he said, holding it up.  The Count of Monte Cristo.  I’d read it my freshman year.  I remember enjoying it.

“Yeah, that’s a good one,” I answered in monotone.

“And Ashley is there too.  She’s chill.  God, I hope her dad lets her see Noah.  She’s the bomb.  Noah deserves her.  She cute…and funny…and nice...and real.  She’s like a girl version of Cam.”

The manner in which he was carrying on with inane details of his day was almost offensive, but also quintessentially Middle School.  Had he forgotten what he’d told his mom this morning?  Or the cruel things he repeatedly said all weekend?  I was already upset with him, but I was becoming increasingly annoyed. 

He seemed oblivious to my mood.  “Mr. Tim said if we behave and get our work done, he might let us talk over lunch.  He said we might go do some tasks around school too.”  He was carrying on excitedly.  In another context, it might have been endearing.  Perhaps not being able to talk all day had an effect?  He was almost manic.  “He said there was someone new coming tomorrow.  Do you know if it’s Noah?”

“No.  Still suspended out, but only for five days.”

“Oh,” he said, hanging his head.  “Better than nine though.  I wonder who it could be,” he rambled.

“I wouldn't know,” I blurted, finally showing my frustration.

He gave me a quizzical look.  “What?  Bad day or something?”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I growled.

He was smart enough to stop chattering, and we rode the remainder of the way to his house in silence, save for the low hum of NPR in the background. 

***

I shut off the car and opened the door.  “You’re coming in?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah.  We need to talk.”

“Oh,” he replied.  “Is something wrong?”

I didn’t answer him.  I just followed him in through the garage and up to the living room.  His body tensed.  I could tell he was concerned. 

He dropped the book on the table.  “So, what’s the problem?” he asked apprehensively.

I sighed.  This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation, but it needed to happen. 

“The problem is your shitty fucking attitude, Max,” I said.  He looked utterly blindsided, as if he had no idea what I was talking about.  “Stacy called me today, sobbing.  We met for lunch.  She’s a complete mess.”

Max’s eyes got big.  He must not have expected that.

“You had the audacity to tell her to leave you the fuck alone?  You went on and on about how much you liked to have sex with C—”

“She was being annoying and in my business.  I was just trying to get her to shut up and leave me alone,” Max said defensively. 

“I was speaking.  DO NOT interrupt me again,” I warned, my voice rising.

“Dude, chill.  You weren’t here.  She was being ridiculous.”

“Max: you’re the kid.  She’s the parent.  This is her house.  Of course she isn’t going to be happy you’ve been having sex, or were suspended for making out.  What the hell did you expect?”

Max bristled.  “I am not a child!  God, you sound just like her.  Why are you taking her side?”

“It isn’t about taking sides.  It’s about right and wrong.  And your behavior toward her has been unacceptable,” I explained.

“Whatever, you weren’t there.” Max’s face was reddening.  He isn’t usually so obstinate, but he seemed hellbent on digging his heels in. 

“No, not whatever.  And I didn’t have to be present to know what you said was completely uncalled for.” I knew I was full-on lecturing, but didn’t care.

“Bruuuuh… I -”  

“Don’t ‘Bruh’ me,” I instructed.  “Did you really call her a stupid, alcoholic bitch?  Accuse her of needing to be plastered to talk to you?  Or tell her she’d already know you were having sex if she weren’t passed out drunk all the time?” I was on a roll.  Max seemed surprised I knew specifics.  Maybe he assumed she would be too embarrassed to share?

“Well, yes, but —“ he tried to interject, but I cut him off.  I was livid and he was going to shut the fuck up and listen.

“No, no buts.  There’s no excuse, ever, to talk to your mother — who loves you and would do anything for you — in such a horrible way,” I practically screamed.  “It is so far over the line and totally indefensible,” I yelled, lighting up Max in a way he’d never experienced.  “And then, you made an utterly rude comment at school, in front of your principal, about her only coming home early because the bar was closed and to get you fitted for an ankle monitor.”

“Mr. Tim and I already talked about that,” Max offered.  “I —” 

“You completely degraded her, Max, and in public.  She was totally distraught.  After she tried to do a bunch of nice things for you all weekend.  It’s just wrong, and I’m incredibly...disgusted and disappointed,” I said before bearing down.  “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Max looked at me with incredulity and didn’t respond for several seconds.  I’m not sure I’ve ever told him that.  Of course, he’s never given me reason to feel that way before now, either. 

“This is between Mom and I.  I’ll handle it!  None of this is any of your business,” Max finally growled.  “You’re not my father!” he added in a rage.

That hurt.  I’ve embraced Max labeling me as such, and have thought of him in kind.  I wasn’t sure if he was trying to hurt me, or throw me off my game, but it sure seemed like he was aiming below the belt.  My immediate reaction was to tell him to change my name in his phone back to Craig, or just delete me, but I had just enough self-control to not utter those thoughts. 

“You’re right Max, I’m not,” I said softly, trying in vain to calm myself.  “But I’m the best you’ve got, and I love you more than anyone ever has, except for your Mom — who you’ve been shitting all over.  It’s because I care about you so much that I’m not going to stand by why you abuse her.  That isn’t the Max I know, and it’s not okay.”

I hoped reminding him of my devotion would help.  It didn’t. 

“Okay, Boomer,” Max spat more snidely than I’ve ever heard him before.  The contempt was real. 

***

I’m not entirely sure why, but something in me snapped.  The look on my face must have been intense, because Max immediately looked rueful. 

Max had been leaning against the back of the couch as we talked.  I leapt towards him in flash and grabbed his arm, spinning him around. 

“Hey!” he yelled, alarmed.  “Don’t!”

In a single motion, I pushed his upper body over the couch and grabbed the waistband of his baggy sweatpants and Calvin Klein underwear and ripped them down, exposing his cheeks.

“What the hell are you -” he screamed.  He was trying to right himself and spin around, but my left arm was firmly planted in the middle of his back.  Max is strong, but he’s still a kid, and I easily overpowered him.  Before he could finish his question, the full force of my right palm landed squarely on his right cheek.

“Ow!” he yelled as he squirmed.

“Stay still or you’re going to get it harder,” I yelled and landed another swat, this time to his left side.

I was breathing heavily.  He was beginning to cry.  “Talking reasonably didn’t work,” I seethed.  “Being grounded had no effect.  Neither did you being suspended.  You obviously need stronger discipline.”

Smack!  His back arched against the pressure of my hand.  “If you’re going to act like a little fucking brat…”

Smack.

“I’m going to treat you like one.”

Smack.  Smack.

Max jumped but said nothing.

“You ARE a child!” I continued my barrage.

Smack.

“You are barely fourteen, MAXWELL!”

Slap

“You are a MIDDLE SCHOOLER!”

Whack.  Max was bawling.  About fucking time.  That’s what needed to happen for him to reset. 

“You WILL NOT treat me...”

Swat

“Or your mother...”

Thwack.

“So disrespectfully...”

Thump

“Ever again!”

I delivered three more blows in quick succession.  “Do I make myself clear?” His pale butt cheeks were now bright red.

I let up and spun him around.  He was completely flaccid, and so was I.  The look on his face was one of exasperation and bewilderment.  His face was red, covered in tears - which continued to flow.  He was in shock.  To be honest, I might have been too.  I’d never lost my temper like that before. 

Max stared at me in total disbelief for several seconds and then bolted up the stairs, tugging at his sweats as he went.  “FUCK YOU!” he yelled.  At least that’s what I think he said.  It was hard to tell for sure through his wailing.

***

I walked into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water.  What just happened?  What the fuck did I just do?  I don’t believe in corporal punishment, and I don’t think Stacy does, either!  How did I let my frustration and anger get the better of me?  If he’s mad, he could exact revenge by sharing what we did in Mexico.  Or he may never trust me again.  Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face.  I looked at myself in the mirror.  As odd as it seems, when I thought about it and the adrenaline subsided, I felt completely justified.  He needed to be spanked.  Frankly, he deserved it.  Now we could move forward - hopefully.  Either that, or I just signed my own incarceration papers. 

A couple of minutes passed, which felt like a blur.  I knew I had a crying boy I needed to console and somehow explain to his mother what happened - without her discovering all the other things I had done to his butt.

*** End of Chapter 30 ***

Author’s Notes:

Jesus Christ, Craig!  What did you just do!  Stay tuned…next chapter(s) out soon.

Feedback as always appreciated:  craigpnifty@protonmail.com

web counter